Here’s how the typical conversation has been going…”I’m rushed off my feet“, “I don’t seem to have the time to do anything“, “There’s so much going on“.

To each one of these people I just asked the simple question “When did you last read a storybook, a novel, something that you could get your teeth into that had nothing to do with business?”  Well, the responses from all of them where that ‘they hadn’t read anything like that in yonks’.  Even though many had been prolific readers as children and young adults, now business had seemed to take over, and any reading was about personal or business development.

Now, as a personal and business coach, you might expect me to be encouraging everyone to make the best use of their time with audios and videos, so every spare moment in the car or office is spent developing yourself and gathering more knowledge.

In fact, I used to be like this myself.  But no more.  The problem with ‘doing’ personal development is that it can be taken too far and you can start to get the belief that you’re still not good enough, more work is needed until you are 100% ready to take action.

And that’s not true.  You, me and everyone else already have all we need to take action. Often, what is missing is clarity, calmness and the space to make decisions, and that’s where reading stories come into it.

The human brain is wired to want to finish off a story, and so when we start to get embroiled in a tale, we are diverted away from the hubbub of business life.

The little grey cells switch off for a while, and clarity can breakthrough.

So how about joining the library, pop along to the supermarket to get a novel, download something from Amazon.  Perhaps there’s a book you always used to dip in and out of which is now just gathering dust on a shelf?

And a final word.  It’s great having our books on apps, like Kindle, on our phones, but if you don’t turn off notifications, or are a habitual email and Facebook checker, the immersive effect isn’t going to kick in.

Use a spare phone or even better get a real paper book!

And is there anything better than dipping in and out of books in a library or bookshop?

Making speedy decisions will have a massive impact on your results.

Think about a successful person you know about but don’t know well.  So Richard Branson would be mine.  Now, imagine how they make decisions. Generally, they are going to be making decisions FAST!  And here’s the thing, sometimes it doesn’t matter if you make the WRONG decision – as long as you make A decision, there will be action, action brings results and results mean feedback.  If you have made the wrong decision then at least you know and can take more action to put it right.  No decision means no action, no results, no feedback.  Nothing, Nada, Nil Zilch!

Why We Delay Making Decisions

Are you putting off making a decision because when it’s done you will have to start doing the trickier stuff in your business like selling and delivering products and services?

Let’s consider how we are making a decision now.

Are you making decisions made based on fear?  Are you making decisions based on loads and loads of analysis?  Are you making decisions based on your gut instinct or your intuition? Which do you think is the most powerful?

The trouble is that when we don’t trust ourselves, how we are running our business, our lives, or our relationship, then it can become tricky to trust our instincts.

Trusting yourself and your instincts is a much bigger issue and will take a while to drill down into so what can you do if you need to start making decisions right now if you’re going to move forward?  I suggest the following…

Decision Making Template

1. Put a time limit on making your decision and stick to it.
2. Ask yourself (and write down the answers in a table) the following questions…

What will happen if I do?

What will happen if I don’t?  

Won’t won’t Happen if I do?

What won’t happen if I Don’t

You should now have a little grid of answers, a structure, to work from.  It’s almost like a mini risk assessment.  If you need to, then bring in a second or third party, but remember you have your deadline and stick to it.

Here goes – and remember – you must follow it to the letter unless it indicates that slapdash is ok.

Spelt Yorkshire Pudding Recipe

Ingredients:

250g WHITE spelt flour – sieved into a bowl.

4 eggs

300 ml of semi-skimmed milk

pinch of salt – if you like, but I always forget

Beef dripping

Method:

Mix the flour, eggs and milk using a whisk or a mixer – DO NOT USE A FOOD PROCESSOR.

Really mix it up well (about 5 minutes using a big Magimix and about 3 hours if you’re doing it by hand!) and then stick it in the fridge for at least a couple of hours. BUT – use a whisk, or electric beater, don’t use a food processor as I find they always sink horribly.

Put a tablespoon or so of beef dripping into a shallow baking dish – if possible, use a cast-iron one which is only about 1 inch deep and approx 20×35 cm (or individual if you prefer)

Heat the oil until it is smoking, and the oven is at 230 ‘C

Now, good Yorkshire puddings are all about temperature. The batter needs to get as cold as possible in the fridge, so take it out last minute, just before you put it into scorching fat and the hot oven in a tray that conducts heat well. And keep the damn door shut for at least 15 minutes. After that, you can check to see how it’s doing, and it should have risen to about 4 inches. If it hasn’t, then it’s gone wrong, but it will still taste brilliant.

But where can I get white spelt flour?

If you’re in the UK, then some of the Sainsbury’s now sell it. Doves Farm and Amazon do it in varying sized bags and at different prices.

PS – They also freeze well if you want to batch cook!

Up until now I’ve avoided reading the list of POTENTIAL side effects on the packet, for fear of attributing every ache, pain and niggle to it, but it’s time to have a proper look.

Tamoxifen and Anxiety

Anxiety, and depression, is given as a side effect on the leaflet of my packet, but I’m not at all clear what normal anxiety is, which may sound a bit loopy.  The trouble is that after breast cancer there is stuff to worry about. Fears about recurrence,  problems with the medication, fears about it popping up somewhere else.  EEK.

I’ve also read about tamoxifen takers experiencing panic attacks – which is different to a general feeling of anxiety.

Right now my womb is being looked into and so I’m on tenterhooks whilst all that’s happening.  So is the churning in my stomach and the mild panic attacks over really inconsequential rubbish could be happening because of that, or is the anxiety genuinely out of proportion to the problem, and merely a chemical manifestation of the Tamoxifen? Who knows.

However, if you are dealing with anxiety, it can be useful to understand that it might arise from the Tamoxifen.  If the anxiety is not your fault, or out of your control, this means you can stop beating yourself up and trying to resolve it from within, and focus your energy on just dealing with the side effect, because you’re off the hook as far as being the cause goes.

Is The Anxiety Due To A Menopausal ‘Side Effect’ Caused By Taking Tamoxifen?

Another suggestion is that the anxiety is a hormonal, menopausal type response. In other words, taking Tamoxifen creates a menopausal situation in your body, and any anxiety is due to the menopause. However, do be careful if you decide to take stuff to help, because many of the supplements to help with the effects of the menopause are contraindicated for anyone taking tamoxifen.

Do Doctors And Onco’s Acknowledge A Link Between Tamoxifen And Anxiety?

Doctors are still people and so have differing opinions and prejudices.  When I asked my pharmacist if Tamoxifen was linked to anxiety she told me a definite NO.  When a new chemist shop opened in our village and I went to pick up my prescription, that pharmacist told me it was a well known side effect.

Whilst some patients report their doctor immediately made the link between Tamoxifen and anxiety, others were told it didn’t exist and sent away. Given the subjective nature of anxiety, this is perhaps understandable, although it doesn’t help much when you’re trying to deal with it.

What Could Anxiety Due To Tamoxifen Feel Like?

• Over-reacting to minor disturbances or being easily startled. I believe this can sneak up on you and you may need to delve deep and think back to before all of this started.  If you are jumping out of your skin just because the dog barks or the kids are shouting, would you have reacted like that before?
• A churning of adrenalin which won’t subside
• Insomnia
• Heart palpitations
• Feeling light headed and dizzy
• Muscle aches and pains
• Feeling too hot or cold
• A sense of foreboding – there’s something wrong@! But goodness knows what.
• Worrying about trivia.  By trivia I mean things like the bank wrongly applying charges to your account.  It’s usually sorted out, it’s a part of life and shouldn’t induce fear or mild panic.

Basically – are you sweating the small stuff?

Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be a definitive answer about how to distinguish justified anxiety, which understandably takes over from time to time, from a tamoxifen induced anxiety.  Neither is there a clear solution, although the following ideas did come up in my research:

• Take the tamoxifen at night so that some of the symptoms have dissipated by the morning
• Take 1mg of Diazepam to relieve the symptoms of anxiety
• Lexapro, Effexor and Celexa are antidepressant type drugs which can be taken with Tamoxifen.  There were a number of posters on the forums who reported Lexapro helped them
• Rescue Remedy is one of the Bach Flower Remedies.  This particular one is for comfort and reassurance and there’s also a night-time formula
• Aromatherapy
• Split the dose in two and take it in the morning and the evening, instead of all in one go.
• See a Healer or Reiki therapist to help you deal with any negative energy which could, apparently, make it difficult for the positive thoughts to penetrate
• Use candles (not like that!). Turn off the lights, light some candles and have a long soak in the bath, or relax in bed.  A glass or two of wine helps as well, but the soothing light of the candles are the key.
• Relax your muscles, especially around the eyes.  This isn’t as easy as it sounds because tense muscles is a habit which needs to be reformed into relaxed muscles.  Eye muscles use loads of energy which makes the effort of relaxing worthwhile – if you get my drift.

WARNING: The above is not medical advice and you should always check with your doctor before you do any of these.  If your doctor is prescribing something to help you with the anxiety, do remind them that you’re taking tamoxifen.

What’s that got to do with tea cosies? Well it’s all about being ready to take a different path, do something different and in my case something creative.

I’ve always been a corporate woman, writing out my reports on time and speaking the gobbledygook of corporate land.  I know what a KPI is (and they’re not fun).  I got used to earned my living (apart from a brief spell as a Saturday Girl in a hairdressers when I was 12) using my brain, its always been about my brain organising services and spewing it all out the other side in the local government format.

After the main part of my breast cancer treatment ended and it was just me and the Tamoxifen, I tried to hop back into my same old mould. But it wasn’t working.  It took me weeks which started creeping into months, to work out that maybe I needed to try a different approach by doing something practical and, yes, crafty. Creative if you will.

Perhaps I would have arrived there eventually but I do wonder if hitting the doldrums after breast cancer was a godsend because it forced me to re-evaluate what I was up to.  A boot up the arse to kick me into a completely new direction.

I didn’t actually end up making tea cosies (but that could be next if I find the right market) but I did start making rugs, which is possibly feeding my annoying hoarding habbit.  Instead of throwing out old clothes and fabrics I can now recycle them into wall hangings, cushion covers and, yes, tea cosies.

Along the way I dispelled the myth that I’m no good with my hands because it turns out I am.  I also discovered my talent for matching colours.  So that’s two good things which have come out of my life after breast cancer.

Forgive me if this article makes it sound as though I was sat in the chair feeling a bit glum and 2 seconds later decided that something creative would spur me into action and found a set of rugging tools lost down the back of the settee and off I went. Sadly it took a lot longer than that.  But what have I learned?

• That when you’re looking for something different in your life, the tendency is to kid yourself that you’re taking a totally new direction, when you’re really just trying out the same old weed in a different pond.

• That when you take a new path in life you learn new things about yourself.

• That bringing something to life using colour is a joy and that 30 minutes sitting in silence whilst your handy-work gets one step closer to completion is the best stress buster ever.

And the tea cosy. Well that’s thanks to my sister-in-law Karen, who came up with that idea for my cottage industry.

And I do like a good cup of tea.

However, I was at a pamper day laid on by the hospital for breast cancer patients when I overheard two women talking about the side effects of Tamoxifen.

The basic idea is that different brands of Tamoxifen might suit different people.  New one on me I must say.

This means that if you are taking Tamoxifen and are suffering from what I will call the more immediate side effects such as nausea and lady parts that feel like a couple of bits of sandpaper scraping together in your thong, that you might be better off on another brand.

If you’re getting on fine with the Tamoxifen you’re taking right now, then you may find this information useful in case your chemist decides to change supplier.

When I first heard this I thought it sounded like a pile of old hooey, but I get on fine with my Tamoxifen and so when the box changed colour I was mildly concerned, but expected the pharmacist to poo poo my worries.  However, she didn’t, and not only did she agree that women can react differently to the various brands, it seems to be well known amongst pharmacists.  Why do you think the doctors don’t say anything about it when patients are struggling with the side effects?

My local pharmacist (in the Hoo St Werburgh Chemist on Main Road in case you’re close by) was very helpful and went on to explain that the supply companies will try for the most cost effective drug, or the ones which are simply in stock.  If you need a particular brand, or want to try a new brand, then just ask and it can be sorted on a special order.  If they won’t do it then change pharmacists.

I have taken two brands of Tamoxifen and haven’t suffered nausea with either and they are made by Wockhardt UK Limited and MA Holder APS Limited.

Oh and for those of you fed up with a sandpaper fanny, this lovely pharmacist also recommended a product called SYLK.  You can buy it at boots and Superdrug for about £10 (bit cheaper on Amazon) and even get it on prescription from your GP if you ask real nice, and it’s all natural ingredients extracted from Kiwi fruits.  Give it a go.

Now as it happens, I have a scientific background, and so I do understand about the balance of probabilities and all that stuff.  However, that is on an intellectual level, and it feels very different when it’s your body.

I was given a treatment plan almost as soon as I was diagnosed, so why did I decide on the very day I was due to swallow my first tamoxifen pill that I needed to dig a bit deeper into the side effects?  I can’t say it’s because I wasn’t told about them sooner.   Hospitals today are peeing their scrubs with the fear that you’re going to sue them, and so they tell you about potential side effects every 15 minutes or so.  And then they get you to sign lots of bits of paper to confirm that, a) they have told you the side effects, and b) you have previously signed other bits of paper to confirm you have been told about the side effects.  I was told alright.  I just decided not to listen.

When I first discovered that I probably wasn’t going to die from breast cancer in the next five years, all due to my gold star treatment (as the hospital described it), I was so thrilled that I accepted everything that came my way in the form of surgery, therapy and drugs.  If you have been in a similar situation, then you possibly understand how it felt, if not, then this is the best way that I can describe it…Have you ever been really hungry?  I don’t mean that you missed your afternoon biscuit, but so hungry that you eat the first thing you can get your chops around.  A tin of cold soup.  Scrambled egg on porridge.  Whatever.  The point is that your basic instinct for survival takes over, and you eat what you need to keep going.  You don’t think about calories, taste or additives.  You’re too hungry to make an informed decision.  Well, that’s how I felt when I was given the survival rates if I took Tamoxifen.  Just bring it on…Get the pill popper reader, I’m in to land.

So here I am one day after my radiotherapy has finished and what is left of my left boob resembles a poached, red policeman’s helmet (the old-fashioned sort) with my cashed prescription of Tamoxifen in front of me on the kitchen table.  As I understand it, to get 100% effectiveness (at blocking the effects of oestrogen, not growing uterine cancer) then I have to take the Tamoxifen bombette today.

What to do?

Well, I’ll tell you now that I did decide to take the Tamoxifen, but I’m not sure I can give a full answer as to why.  I just went with my gut. It felt like the right thing to do and it was less scary than not taking it.  It seemed tried and tested, there were figures that backed up results and it made sense on a very basic level.  My cancer was linked to oestrogen and Tamoxifen blocks oestrogen. The threat of cancer of the womb was a way off, and as my doctor put it (but I’m sure would never ever admit they said this) ‘we’ll keep an eye on it and we can always whip your womb out’ – how reassuring, but it did the job.

I wish I could give you a yes or no answer about what you should do but no-one can do that.  Best thing is to listen to listen to your doctor, speak to some other people who have taken it (not your friends and family because they have a bias obviousy) and go with your gut.