“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
– Sydney Smith

What do you think goes through people’s minds as they lay on their deathbeds?

What do you think they wish they had done, or hadn’t done?

A nurse who cared for the dying recently shared her experience – and the regrets her patients had during the last few weeks she shared of their lives.  It really made me think about my own life, what I might regret in the future – and maybe different actions I could take today.

Here’s a list of the five most common regrets her patients had:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Unlike these people who were so close to their en, you may not have just a few weeks to live.  I hope you have many years ahead of you.

But…knowing now what they only realized as their life was slipping away, what lessons can you take away today to make your life better?

Rule #1: Live A Life True To Yourself

She says about the courage to live a life true to yourself:

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

How To Live With No Regrets

In times of uncertainty, you may wonder how to make a decision – which path to take, which course of action is right. Standing at the edge of the rest of your life and wondering which way to go.  The research (referenced below) shows a couple of clear patterns -

1. We regret opportunities we let slip away
2. We especially regret anytime that we could have taken action, but didn’t

It’s interesting to see research back this up, but that’s something I think you may also know intuitively – and perhaps have experienced in your own life.

I don’t have 10 “next steps” for you to take today.

I have just one.  

Do not less this moment and this opportunity slip away.

We always regret the dreams we don’t follow through on and the things we don’t do. The question isn’t just then what action will you take today – it’s also, what action will you regret not taking?

I don’t have all the answers.

But I do know that if there is a secret to living a life with fewer regrets, it probably goes something like this:

Bet On Your Dreams – And Take Action

A couple quotes I really like

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”
– John Barrymore

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.”
– Mark Twain

Take Action – Don’t Regret

You don’t want to live a life that you’ll regret – and you don’t have to. If you are struggling, or want more, I will guide you with the techniques I have used in my own life to take action and get what I want. Take a look now: The Action Solution: Advanced Training Techniques to Take Action In Your Life.  It is the result of decades of experience, and hundreds of hours of making dreams a reality for real people – and it might just be the turning point you need in your life.

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Researched For This Article:

• What We Regret Most … and Why
• The Experience of Regret: What, When and Why (PDF)
• Regrets of the Dying

“A good plan implemented today is better than a perfect plan implemented tomorrow.”
– George Patton

You may be familiar with this old Abraham Lincoln quote: ”If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.” 

And for many people, that kind of perspective can be a tremendous life changer.

If you’ve been going through your whole life without regard for any preparation, a little preparation will dramatically improve your productivity.

However, there is a flip side to this.

Get too consumed with planning and preparing, and you risk drowning in metawork: tasks that may make you feel productive, but in the end produce no real results without action to back it up.

Real Work versus Metawork

What is metawork?

Metawork, executed properly, is the preparation done to make sure you can effectively do the actual tasks.. 

Metawork is the planning before you begin. It’s the lectures you attend, the books you read – the courses you participate in to make yourself better, so you can execute better.

Metawork is putting in an hour of work up front so that the next hundred plus hours are more productive.

But, metawork is not enough – it must be accompanied by action – plain old fashioned work that has a direct impact on progress towards completing tasks and achieving goals.

Example: Exercising

A concrete example might help here – consider someone who wants to improve their health by exercising. 

Planning your workout schedule, cardio versus weight training, which exercises to do on which days – these are all metawork.

It’s important to consider them and have a plan of attack, but at some point you’ve got to actually exercise you want any results.

Are You Bogged Down With Metawork?

Sometimes we THINK we’re working, when really all we’re doing is preparing for work we intend to do someday – work we may never get around to doing.

 If there are any tasks or goals you’ve been planning for a long time, I encourage you to stop planning until everything is just perfect, and go out there and get started. 

Be honest with yourself:  Are you doing this metawork because it’s necessary?

Or are you just bogged down in the preparation – and now using it as an excuse to avoid diving in and getting something done?

Make Progress In Your Life – Now

You don’t have to go it alone. You deserve to make the most out of your life.  Take a moment to review the details about my course The Action Solution. It is the result of decades of experience, and hundreds of hours of making dreams a reality for real people – and it might just be the turning point you need in your life.

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“Don’t fight a battle if you don’t gain anything by winning.”
- Erwin Rommel

Will you live forever? If not, you need to prioritize how you spend your time – and who you spend it with.

Too many people waste their time and lives fighting to change people who don’t actually matter to them. 

One of my very strong core beliefs is, I will serve the lovers – not the fighters.

Who Are The Lovers?

The lovers are the people who love what I do, and who love improving themselves.

They love to read, learn and make their lives better.

They love to send my articles to friends and family.

They love to pass on copies of my book of quotes, or my reports.

In short, they love to be a part of this community.

How about skeptics?  People who challenge me to make me better?

Those are still lovers.  I welcome them as well.  They are in it for the love of improving, because they care.

Spirited disagreements and conversation can still come from a place of constructive criticism and love.

Who Are The Fighters?

On the other hand, some people write in explicitly to try to tear me down.  In your life as well, there may be negative people who constantly tear you down.

They may not be bad people – but when they communicate with us, they are hostile, send negative energy, and the discussions are simply not productive.

The interactions you have with them simply do not get you any closer to your goals.

These are the fighters.  

And to me, life is too short to fight with them. 

I actively disengage and avoid having anything to do with them.

I can do much more good both for the world, and for my own life, when I focus my efforts on writing to and interacting with the lovers.

And in your life, take a hard look at those around you as well – are they lovers? Or are they fighters?   

You can spend your time and your life however you choose – and I believe, it pays to spend more time with the lovers than with the fighters.

 Join The Action Solution

You don’t have to go it alone. You deserve to make the most out of your life.  Take a moment to review the details about my course The Action Solution. It is the result of decades of experience, and hundreds of hours of making dreams a reality for real people – and it might just be the turning point you need in your life.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
- Henry Ford

Question: Have you ever been faced with a decision and said to yourself “I can’t do that”?

Stop It.

Too many people spend their lives avoiding responsibility by saying they can’t do something…

When the truth is really, they won’t do it because they do not want to face the consequences.

Examples:

• I can’t give up sugary drinks in order to lose weight
• I can’t just quit my job
• I can’t make time for that

The truth is, what these words really mean is:

• I won’t give up sugary drinks in order to lose weight…either because it is too much work, or the withdrawal is unpleasant, or because I just like the taste
• I won’t quit my job…because I feel the risk is too great / I don’t want to be an entrepreneur 
• I won’t make time for that because I either do not feel managing my time is important, or I simply have other priorities that are more important

Truth: You Almost Always Can

For me personally there is very little in my life I truly can’t do.  

I can almost always meet for coffee. I can skip a workout.

But, I won’t always meet for coffee if I have other priorities.

I won’t skip a workout if I feel my health is important enough.

So in your life, I encourage you to not look at things in black and white and terms of what you can or can’t do.

To say you can’t is to limit yourself and choose failure.

But when you say you won’t - at least you are taking responsibility for the choice.

You can do many things in your life.   

The power of choice is you get to decide which you will - and which you won’t.

Write this on a post it and stick it up on your computer monitor, mirror or somewhere else so it will remind you:

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t”
- Jerry Rice

 Join The Action Solution

You don’t have to go it alone. You deserve to make the most out of your life.  Take a moment to review the details about my course The Action Solution. It is the result of decades of experience, and hundreds of hours of making dreams a reality for real people – and it might just be the turning point you need in your life.

“You are your greatest asset. Put your time, effort and money into training, grooming, and encouraging your greatest asset.”
- Tom Hopkins 

Question: Do you think that improving yourself is becoming more or less important ?  

Which direction do you think the world is going?

I’ll tell you my answer – it matters more than ever, and you are only going to become more responsible for your own future.  

I believe that improving yourself – your skills, your motivation and planning for your own future – is the single best investment you can make with your time.

I read a fascinating article in the New York Times recently. Thomas Friedman discusses how hyper-connected our world is becoming – and how lots of things are now being measured, to see exactly who and what is most productive.

“We’re entering a world that increasingly rewards individual aspiration and persistence and can measure precisely who is contributing and who is not.

This is not going away, so we better think how we help every citizen benefit from it.” 

The basic premise is something I have thought about for a long time. While I never had the statistics to back it up or not, I’ve always felt that the more we move towards a world with data, less boundaries and more competition the more that individual effort will be rewarded.

That’s partly why I never stop learning. I read a ton of books, research papers, and articles. I am constantly trying to improve myself.

The moment you stop getting better is the moment you start to fall behind.

“If you are self-motivated, wow, this world is tailored for you. The boundaries are all gone. But if you’re not self-motivated, this world will be a challenge because the walls, ceilings and floors that protected people are also disappearing.

Government will do less for you. Companies will do less for you. Unions can do less for you. There will be fewer limits, but also fewer guarantees. 

Your specific contribution will define your specific benefits much more.

Just showing up will not cut it.”

One of my favorite concepts from The World Is Flat is how now everyone is competing with everyone on a global scale.  

I’ve seen it in my own life. With online reviews, LinkedIn and the general push towards transparency everyone wants the best.

Everyone wants the best.  They are not satisfied with average.  

In fact, I know you’re not satisfied with average either.  

Almost everyone who reads this website and writes to me talks about what they dream of or aspire to – whether they are on their way or not, I know you feel it and want it.

And that’s good – because in this new world, you’ve got to make your own future. 

You’ve got to have motivation, direction and a plan.  The people who are driven and able to get it done are at a huge advantage. 

And the people who stand still and hope the world rewards them? I don’t believe that is going to happen anymore. There is too much competition, and too many ways to multiply productivity.  

Being a warm body is not enough anymore – your life and your contribution has got to mean something.

I’m an optimist – I believe in you. I know your life will lead to great things. Maybe it already has – or maybe it’s just around the corner.

And of course, if you need a push: I will help you get there.

 Join The Action Solution

You don’t have to go it alone. You deserve to make the most out of your life.  Take a moment to review the details about my course The Action Solution. It is the result of decades of experience, and hundreds of hours of making dreams a reality for real people – and it might just be the turning point you need in your life.