Since then I’ve learned much more about psychology, my personality and various validated psychological tests to determine facets of my personality type.

I always felt like there was something missing from the standard ones I took though, even though they were largely accurate.  I’ve recently discovered a test that cleared up some of my personal confusion, and wanted to share it with you - along with some of my other favorite free online personality tests. 

The irony of discussing online surveys immediately following my article about not wasting time online is not lost on me =). I don’t believe these are a waste of time though - I’ve tried many surveys, and these are the best ones I’ve found to truly learn more about yourself.

Also, RSS and Email Readers - I’ve included a lot of media in this article. You may need to come view the article on SidSavara.com to see them. I apologize for any inconvenience =)

Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory (ZTPI)

Two versions of the test:

• The  full ZTPI as created by Dr. Zimbardo on his website.
• An abridged, ZTPI from USA Today.  

Both gave me similar results, but I highly suggest taking the full one if you have 15-20 minutes.

Background Information:

• (PDF) Putting Time in Perspective: A Valid, Reliable Individual-Differences Metric
• The Time Paradox (Book)
• The Time Paradox (webpage and blog)

I recently discovered this test after watching Dr. Zimbardo present the test and his findings at the Commonweatlh Club. I’ll include that video below, but it’s over an hour long - here’s a short, 2 minute introduction to Zimbardo’s work:

The ZTPI, along with Dr. Zimbardo’s perspective on issues dealing with time are discussed at length in his book, The Time Paradox. Zimbardo contends that all of our significant choices, all our important decisions we make are determined by our perspective on time. After taking the test, and discussing the results some of my friends had when they took the test, I agree.  It is the first test where I ever had a result that was an extreme case.

Spoiler Alert: I should warn you, if you’re interested in taking the test you should do so before reading the next paragraph.  It contains spoilers about some of the questions on the test and what the answers suggest, which could bias your response based on how you want your results to turn out. To take the test, check out the full ZTPI here.  Alternatively, here is a shorter ZTPI from USA Today.  Both gave me similar results, but I highly suggest taking the full one if you have 15-20 minutes.

Dr. Zimbardo divides our time perspectives up into 5 main categories, as discussed in his research from 1999 (PDF), Putting Time in Perspective: A Valid, Reliable Individual-Differences Metric:

• Past Negative - This reflects a generally negative view of the past. Items that come into play here are thoughts such as “I think about the bad things have have happened to me in the past.” “I think about the good things that I have missed out on in my life,” and “I often think of what I should have done differently in my life.”
• Past Positive - This reflects a warm, sentimental attitude towards the past.  Items that come into play here include thoughts such as: “It gives me pleasure to think about the past,”  ”I get nostalgic about my childhood,” and “I enjoy stories about how things used to be in the ‘good old times.’”
• Present Hedonistic - As the name suggests, this factor reflects a hedonistic, risk taking attitude towards time and life.  It suggests an orientation toward present pleasure with little concern for future consequences.  Typical items include: “I do things impulsively,” ” I often follow my heart more than my head,” and “When listening to my favorite music, I often lose all track of time.”
• Present Fatalistic - This reflects a fatalistic, helpless and hopeless attitude toward the future and life.  Typical items include:  ”My life is controlled by forces I cannot influence,” “You can’t really plan for the future because things change so much” and “Often luck pays off better than hard work.”
• Future - This factor reflects a general future orientation.  Typical items include:  ”I am able to resist temptations when I know there is work to be done.,”  and “I complete projects on time by making steady progress.”

The Future category is where my result was, quite literally, off their chart.  I took it a second time, and had very similar results in all 5 categories - including an extreme result for future orientation.  

Interested?  Take the ZTPI for yourself.  Here’s a the longer, in depth video I mentioned earlier where Dr. Zimbardo discusses his research. I found it fascinating, but it is quite long and requires significant attention (read: don’t play it in the background).

If you enjoy thinking about time as much as I do, you may enjoy some of my articles on the topic as well:

• More Important than Money - Paying Myself First With My Time
• Time Travel 101 - Techniques For Reliving The Past and Seeing The Future
• Nerdy Productivity: Covey’s Time Management Matrix Illustrated with XKCD Comics

Project Implicit

Versions of the Test:

• Multiple tests available at Project Implicit Tests

Background Informatin:

• Background Information about Project Implicit
• Project Implicit Homepage

Many personality tests only work if you answer honestly, and are easy to cheat by answering the way we idealize ourselves to be.  That’s why this test fascinates me:  it’s based on research by researches at Harvard, the University of Virginia and the University of Washington to measure implicit biases .   Here’s how they describe it:

[M]ost studies available at Project Implicit examine thoughts and feelings that exist either outside of conscious awareness or outside of conscious control. The primary goals of Project Implicit are to provide a safe, secure, and well-designed virtual environment to investigate psychological issues and, at the same time, provide visitors and participants with an experience that is both educational and engaging.
- Background Information about Project Implicit

The experiment involves showing you different sets of words, and asking you to push one key on your keboard if the word is associated with side “A”, and another if the word is associated with side “B”.  So for example, Side A might be career, while Side B is family.  Then they’ll have you do Side A is Male, Side B Female.  Those are fairly straightforward.  The interesting part of the experiment comes when they then say Side A is either Male or Career, and B is either Female or Family - and then finally, switch it up (Side A is Male or Family, Side B is Female or Career).  Based on the cognitive dissonance provided by your own mental bias, the test shows you what kinds of implicit biases we all hold by looking at your reaction time.  The very first time I did it I was surprised at my own results, and noticed even while I was taking the tests that I have implicit biases, because of my slower reaction time.

This video shows Alan Alda discussing the test with some of the researchers, as well as his and their results. What I found especially interesting is the researchers discussing how they have taken the test so many times, and even wrote the questions to test for bias: and their results continue to show their implicit biases!

Jung Topology/Myer’s Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

Versions of the Test:

• Jung Typology Test
• The Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II
• One Question Myers-Briggs Test

I prefer the first one.  The Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II is very limited now in the free version, which I did not like, since they only provide partial results.  The one question test is interesting, and fairly accurate.

Background Information:

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator at Wikipedia

Arguably the most popular personality test of all.  From Wikipedia:

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.  These preferences were extrapolated from the typological theories originated by Carl Gustav Jung, as published in his 1921 book Psychological Types (English edition, 1923). [...]

The Myers-Briggs typology model regards personality type as similar to left or right handedness: individuals are either born with, or develop, certain preferred ways of thinking and acting. The MBTI sorts some of these psychological differences into four opposite pairs, or “dichotomies,” with a resulting 16 possible psychological types. None of these types is “better” or “worse”; however, Briggs and Myers theorized that individuals naturally prefer one overall combination of type differences.[...]

In the same way that writing with the left hand is hard work for a right-hander, so people tend to find using their opposite psychological preferences more difficult, even if they can become more proficient (and therefore behaviorally flexible) with practice and development.
-Myers-Briggs Type Indicator at Wikipedia 

Knowing your Myers-Briggs Type (and especially knowing those of your peers) helps you understand what motivates you and your peers.  Each type has characteristics that determine how we perceive the world, each other, and the actions of others.  Knowing the type of person you are interacting with enables you to see the situation from their point of view, and understand what types of things are most relevant and important to them as stakeholders in a particular situation. It can also help you understand why you find some people frustrating (and I’m sure, why some people find me frustrating =) )

Briefly, there are four different axes that are measured by the MBTI:

From these 4 traits, we can come up with 16 different types (2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 16) as described below (links take you to type descriptions on Wikipedia):

Here’s a brief introduction to the MBTI, though they do not discuss the 16 types in detail.  I mostly just love it for the cool little animations

This is my favorite treatment I found of the 16 MBTI types - Myers-Briggs, explained with The Simpsons.  Each type is explained in detail, with an example from The Simpsons (though The Simpsons characters may not be fully representative of what each type is)

If you want to dig in further, the Wikipedia discussion is excellent.  

Other Tests

I’ve found some other tests that I found interesting (Big-5 and its variants, RHETI), but ultimately many other personality tests are highly correlated with the MBTI.  After trying out a number of them, I felt that the MBTI was the most relevant to me personally.  If you’d like to try some of the other ones, here they are:

• Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI)  over at 9Types is my favorite. The 9 types site includes plenty of background information 
• Multiple Tests over at Personality Lab, including Big 5.   One of the tests I especially enjoyed on their site was about Life Goals.  I didn’t really learn anything new from it, but perhaps others might.

Your Thoughts?

What are your thoughts? Are there any personality tests you have found especially helpful in your personal growth?  

Enjoy this article?  Tweet This, or share it however you like with this shortened URL: http://tr.im/personality

P.S. If you enjoy articles about psychology, you may enjoy this one: Mental Bias - Would You Like Fries With Your Warm Fuzzy Platitudes?

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• Why 3% of Harvard MBAs Make Ten Times as Much as the Other 97% Combined
• Mental Bias - Would You Like Fries With Your Warm Fuzzy Platitudes?
• Why Our New Year’s Resolutions Are Doomed Before We Even Begin - And What We Can Do About It
• Time Travel 101 - Techniques For Reliving The Past and Seeing The Future
• Motivation is Like Love: Coping When Your Passion Fades

© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags:

I used to have my email inbox set as my homepage, but I discovered that caused me to get distracted, get sucked into answering email (or deleting junk newsletters I’d signed up for) followed by any number of minor tasks and activities referred to in those emails.  When I came up for air I’d suddenly become aware that hours had passed - and I’d accomplished nothing.

The primary reason for this was a lack of concentration and focus.  I’ve since become more directed in the time I spend online, and while I am sure I still waste time from time to time, here are some strategies I use to improve my concentration online.

How To Improve Concentration Online

• Track Your Productivity At Your Computer - I’m a firm believer in “what gets measured gets managed.”   Until I started tracking how productive I was at my computer, I had no way of knowing for certain where my time was going.  In an 8 hour day, how much time did I spend on email?  How much time did I spend mindlessly web browsing?  I couldn’t answer those question quantitatively, but fortunately for me there are solutions out there.  I use and recommend RescueTime’s free time tracking software.  It sits in my system tray quietly collecting data for me, and uploading my data to their website. I can then review their reports see where I’m making progress - and where my weak spots are.  Some specifics it tracks are which websites I am spending too much time on, how much time I spend on various tasks (emails, instant messaging, social networks, etc) and even what times of day I tend to be less productive. Which leads me into my next point …
• Don’t Browse As Soon As You Get Home - One thing I noticed while tracking my productivity online with RescueTime was that  right after I came home from work or from going out with friends tended to be especially unproductive.  Why was that?  I suspect it’s because I wanted to relax a little, unwind and turn my brain off for a little while to recharge.  There are more productive ways to do this though than sitting around idly on my computer.  My solution?  As soon as I get home, I practice playing guitar for 15 minutes.  It gets my mind off work, allows me to relax a little bit - and in the long run is probably better than watching hamster dance videos.  My most productive time online?  Early in the morning, as soon as I wake up.
• Turn off That Second Monitor - There are times when a second monitor is great and improves productivity - but sometimes having two monitors is distracting if you’re trying to focus on a task that really doesn’t need two monitors.  Unless you are actively using that second monitor for research or some relevant documentation, odds are it’s filled with low priority tasks and entertainment that distract you. Do you really need your email account visible while you’re working?  How about all those chat windows (a prime use of my second monitor)?  If you’re not using it, turn it off until your next water break and focus on the task at hand. If you’re like me, you’ll be amazed at how often you look over to your second, blank screen out of habit.
• Turn Off Your Computer and/or Monitor When Not In Use - When I”m trying to focus on a task, I turn off my monitor and lock my computer everytime I get up.  I stretch out, get a drink of water and come back ready to work.  When I sit back down, I don’t turn my monitor back on until I’m mentally refreshed.  If I still feel drained, I’ll go walk around for a few minutes,  talk to my coworkers, etc - but I won’t let myself sneak over to Twitter “just to check up.”  If I’m not ready to work, I don’t force myself - I let the work wait and give myself a few minutes to recuperate.
• Close Your Web Browser When Not In Use - Similar to the previous item, I (try to) make it a point to not leave my web browser open.  If I walk by and my web browser is open, it’s easy for me to get distracted, sit down and browse - even if I was in the middle of doing something else.  Remove the temptation by closing the web browser, so that if you do want to browse websites, you have to make the conscious decision to open it - and consider whether you’re opening it for productive or unproductive reasons. I don’t have statistics on it, but I’ll bet that the majority if people’s wasted time comes in the form of web browsing, email and chatting. Close those applications when you’re not using them!
• Don’t Leave Pages And Tabs Open for “Research” - I picked up this bad habit when I started using Firefox years ago, and I still struggle with it.  Your tabs are not a to-do list, your tabs should not be items you are going to get to - they are distractions. If there are tasks you need to do at your desk, and you are using the tabs as reminders, write the tasks down, bookmark the page and close it.  I constantly force myself to read, process or file all those tabs and close them.  When a friend sends me an article to read on IM and I don’t have time to get to it right away, I don’t leave it open - I bookmark it in Delicious as a “someday” item and close it.  It can get reviewed weekly with all the other articles I want to read.  On a related note, don’t leave tabs open that auto refresh, especially if they show some kind of status or count in the title bar.  Earlier today I closed my email account because seeing I had 12 unread emails was distracting me.  They can wait.
• Take A Break Every 30-45 Minutes -  I can’t speak for everyone, but I hit my limit after about an hour or so of straight work. My productivity slows, I begin to lose motivation and I’ve got to get up, take a break and do anything else - at least for a few minutes.  Just getting up and stretching a couple times an hour can be enough to recenter you and focus.
• Sit Down with a Plan - Don’t sit down just to surf or see what’s new in your inbox.  If you’re sitting down to read the news or your RSS feeds and unwind, sit down, have a plan, and barrel through some items in your feed reader.  If you’re sitting down to process email, close everything else, take a look at your inbox and process your inbox.  When I sat down to work on this article, I opened my web browser and have exactly two tabs open:  the tab I am writing this article in, and my sitemap for easy access to references.
• Limit Your Access To Time Wasting Sites - I have a love/hate relationship with LeechBlock and so I am not using it currently, but I have in the past. 
  

  LeechBlock is a simple productivity tool designed to block those time-wasting sites that can suck the life out of your working day. All you need to do is specify which sites to block and when to block them.

  You can specify up to six sets of sites to block, with different times and days for each set. You can block sites within fixed time periods (e.g., between 9am and 5pm), after a time limit (e.g., 10 minutes in every hour), or with a combination of time periods and time limit (e.g., 10 minutes in every hour between 9am and 5pm). You can also set a password for access to the extension options, just to slow you down in moments of weakness!

  Another feature I like is that it can track how long you spend on sites, though I personally found the reporting wasn’t always accurate. I suspect that has more to do with some incompatibility with my extensions than an issue with LeechBlock however. 

Focusing online is easier said than done - I’ve got a tendency to wander and can easily get sucked into vortexes like YouTube, Twitter, etc as well.   We can limit our access via self control or Leechblock, but perhaps there is a better way.  Another way of looking at it is, how can we begin effectively when we first sit down to work? For that, I recommend focusing with a start page.

A reader mentioned that she loved my inspirational quotes about life and had set the article as her homepage to give her some perspective every morning.  I decided this would be a good opportunity to revamp my personal start pages as well.

The purpose of a start page is to provide a point of focus whenever I sit down at my computer.  Many of our small activities we work on every day are part of our larger goals and purpose.  Without constant reminders though I often get lost in the details and lose sight of what I’m doing - or why I’m doing it.  For this reason, I use start pages as daily reminders.  In the past, I’ve used physical pieces of paper that I carried in my wallet, used as bookmarks or placed at my desk.  Today I’d like to share some of them online.

Here’s the full list of inspirational and motivational start pages.  I’m going to continue adding to it.  So far the ones I have completed include:

• Value Your Time - A reminder to value every moment.
• Be Grateful - We all have so many gifts and wonderful things in our lives, and some days I need to be reminded to be grateful for all I have. Has a great clip featuring Louis C.K. on Conan discussing how ungrateful so many of us are.
• Beat Procrastination with Action - Act now to accomplish what you want.  Also contains a fantastic cartoon I found.

If you enjoy them, I’d love to hear about it in the comments, and I’m open to suggestions to make them more effective as well.

Enjoy this article?  Tweet this to share it with your friends, or pass it around using this short URL: http://api.tr.im/stopwaste

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• More Important than Money - Paying Myself First With My Time
• How to Effectively Read 12,853 Articles, Forum Topics & Blog Posts a Week
• Simple Time Saving Tip #62 - Stop Self Inflicted Junk Email
• The Best Personal Development Books Reading List
• The Problem with The Pareto Principle

© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags:

“It isn’t just what you know, and it isn’t just who you know. It’s actually who you know, who knows you, and what you do for a living.”
- Bob Burg (Author of the Go-Giver)

This guest article was written by Alpesh Shah, from Chai Wisdom.

Why Network?

As discussed in a previous post regarding time management and Covey’s time management matrix, it’s not enough to just accomplish tasks - the tasks that we take on should be important. Many would agree that expanding and nurturing your professional network is a huge asset, however let’s look at the facts to ensure this is true.

I’ll explore one benefit of professional networking: how it affects employment options.

Acquiring Employment - Does Networking Provide an Edge?

A study conducted in 1974 reviewed how 282 men from varying socioeconomic backgrounds found their jobs. The researchers reported the following results:

• 56% got their job through a personal connection
• 18.8 % used formal means (i.e. headhunters, and ads)
• 20% applied directly

The statistic that jumps out immediately is that 56% found their job through a personal connection. As this data shows, the people the workers knew (and the people who knew who they were) greatly influenced which jobs the men acquired. This leads to the question - what kind of personal connection? Relatives, family friends, remote acquaintances? Fortunately for us, the researchers dug deeper - and have the answer to that question.

Networking and Weight of Relationships

Instinctively we might think that the connections workers used to acquire their jobs would would be through “strong” connections - people that they interacted with frequently. However, this was not the case - the researchers found that these personal connections were typically “weak ties”, with varying levels of contact broken down as follows:

• 16.7% saw the contact “Often” (twice a week or more)
• 55.6% saw the contact “Occasionally” (less than twice a week, but more than once a year)
• 28% saw the contact “Rarely” (once a year or less)

Source: Mark Granovetter, Getting a Job Page 53

Practical Application - Nurturing My Own Personal and Professional Relationships

As mentioned above, 83.6% saw their contact less than twice a week, but many saw their contacts only occasionally. This meant I ccould improve my opportunities by nurturing my network even with infrequent meetings. For personal satisfaction I’d like to interact more often with many in my network, but the “Occasionally to Rarely” side of my network can be nurtured with fairly little effort.

By nurturing the relationships I have with my “weak ties,” different opportunities open up.

I believe in life it’s not enough to simply know how to do things: it’s important to act on that information and implement change. Here’s what I did after I read this study.

Contacting My “Weak Ties” - And Results

I contacted several of my friends that I rarely saw and offered to have coffee / tea with them.

• I briefly met one of my friends, who then invited me to a Tweetup (people on Twtitter meeting up at a certain location). That in turn helped me meet 6 new people. 3 were running social media companies, 2 were looking to change directions and the last guy was a manager for a Sales Recruiting Company. This Tweetup was helpful for nurturing my relationship with my friend but even beyond t hat, several of my new contacts run their own events. Through their offers to attend future events, I will nurture my professional relationships with them, and perhaps meet even more people that I would probably never meet if I stayed in my comfort zone. In addition, my relationship with my original friend is stronger as a result of my reaching out to him

• The second person I met up with introduced me to people from a whole different industry that I don’t normally associate with. That meeting didn’t turn out to bear any fruit directly, but my reaching out once again solidified my relationship - and led to an enjoyable experience meeting and learning from people in a new industry.

Applying These Strategies In Your Own Life

Messaging Via Social Networks

So - how does this apply to you and how can you apply this knowledge?

Everyone now is on several social networks. I can’t remember the last time I asked what someone’s e-mail was when I was meeting them for the first time. The question is always “ Are you on ____?” and the network may vary from Facebook, LinkedIn, Myspace, Twitter to Greenlight Community.

In my experience, the easiest and least invasive interaction that I used to initiate contact was through social networking, and in my case specifically - Facebook.

I simply look through my network, see who I haven’t talked to or seen in awhile and send them a message that goes something like this:

“Hey how’s it going? Haven’t talked in a while, was thinking that we should meet up for coffee or tea sometime this week or next week to catch up.”

Specific tips on Messaging via Social Networks:

• Keep it brief. Short and straight to the point is the best way to open up communication.
• Attend interesting events. Facebook shows you events people in your network are attending. Look for events that your friends are participating in, RSVP and meet up!
• Send something interesting you found online. When you send a link, add some of your own thoughts to it. Don’t just send people a story, photo or video: explain why you felt it was relevant to them

Pinging

Some of you may be familiar with the term pinging from working on websites. Pinging is a technique used to check whether a webserver is available and responding to contact. The purpose of the message is simply to get a response, and for each machine to be aware the other is there.

Pinging is something I learned about a couple of years ago and has helped tremendously in nurturing my network, particularly with people I don’t interact with often in person. Most people only contact others in their network when they want something from them. This can lead to resentment, and understandably so - wouldn’t you prefer to stay in touch with someone who contacts you to provide value, versus someone who only contacts you only when they need something?

Pinging is simply reaching out to keep communication open, and providing value in your relationship.

There are so many different ways to ping people, from social networks to email. Here are some specific tips on the best way to utilize each of these mediums:

• Calling and Texting - I call or text people that I want to know better in my network about once a week to see how they are doing. Note that there isn’t any ulterior motive - I care about how they are doing and how I might be able to help them in their life. With new contacts I usually contact them by text once a week and call once every two weeks to build a good relationship. Different people may desire contact more or less frequently
• Sharing Items Via Google Reader - For my more tech savvy friends who have similar tastes and/or professions, I use Google reader and discuss different articles with them. Sharing information is always a good way to keep in touch with people. [Sid's note: I use Twitter and StumbleUpon in similar ways]
• Email - I prefer not to write e-mails because those tend to be longer than a text and to me less personal than a phone call. Some people can be very protective of their inbox, while others are constantly overwhelmed and will lose your email in their digital pile of things to do. I would strongly recommend against forwarding jokes, large images and videos via email, unless you already have a strong relationship and know the person very well - you never know who you might offend.
• Instant Messaging - Instant messaging can be welcome, or it can be very intrusive. I recommend using an asynchronous method of communication (such as email or messaging via a social network) before instant messaging.

Final Thoughts: Be Authentic

In the end, remember that relationships are built on trust. I never ping or reach out in order to selfishly take from people: I always reach out and meet up in person so we can enjoy each other’s company. The one thing I am thinking when I am pinging is always “How can I add value to this person’s life?“

Be authentic, add value - and nurture your network now, so that they’ll want to help you when a mutually beneficial opportunity arises.

What do you think? What strategies do you use to nurture you personal and professional networks?

This guest article was written by Alpesh Shah, from Chai Wisdom.

Enjoy this post? Share it with your friends using this short URL - http://tr.im/networking

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• More Important than Money - Paying Myself First With My Time
• A Quick Word on Metaworking for My Blog
• Personal Development Roadblocks - “The Situation”
• Stop Wasting Time Online! Tips and Start Pages To Improve Concentration Online
• Simple Time Saving Tip #62 - Stop Self Inflicted Junk Email

© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: Add new tag, email, learning, Life, neting, work

We are all capable of so much more than we accomplish, and often fall short of our potential.  In this series, I’ll be discussing the personal development roadblocks that hold us back.

One excuse I often hear (and sometimes make) is how we did the best we could, and then blame our failure on “the situation.” For example:

• “I didn’t quite reach my goal weight, but with work and happy hours it was impossible to stick to my diet.  I would say I did pretty well, considering the situation“
• “It might have looked like Mike dropped the ball on that one, but he did the best he could - given the situation.”
• “I know from the outside it may have seemed irresponsible to be as late as she was, but you can’t blame her considering the situation“

Making Excuses with “The Situation”

There are times when this blanket reason of “the situation” is legitimate.  Perhaps physical constraints, disabilities, or absurdly difficult obstacles presented a “situation” that was impossible to overcome.

Often however, I have found that “the situation” is an excuse used to avoid confronting a difficult problem that has a difficult, uncomfortable or uncertain solution.  Rather than tackling the actual issue head on, we instead pretend there is no way to resolve some solvable problem, work around it and then say we “did our best, given the situation.”

Avoiding The Difficult Questions With “The Situation”

“Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.”
- Tim Ferris, The Four-Hour Work Week

A great example of avoiding difficult questions is presented in The Devil Wears Prada.  Miranda hires Andy as her personal assistant - the job “a million girls would kill for.”  The job invades Andy’s personal life with phone calls at all hours, destroys her social life, interrupts a weekend with her father and strains her relationship with her boyfriend, Nate.

Rather than deal with the reality of finding a new job or making her work with Miranda more manageable, Andy constantly avoids the issue among friends by saying she has no choice, saying she has to work.

The difficult problem the whole time was she had a job that was at odds with her lifestyle.  Rather than confront this conflict as a problem, however, she just accepts the job as part of her situation.

We are not powerless.  Every day we can decide to accept things that happen to us, or to confront issues and to change them.  In Andy’s case, she finally comes around and leaves the job when she realizes she just wants her life back.

“Situations”, Problems - And The Difficult Questions

The table below shows a number of common “situations” that hold us back.  The table then lays out  possible root causes of “the situation” - and the difficult solution or decision that needs to be made, but is being avoided. In many cases, the root problem is that there are two or more conflicting needs.

There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer in each tradeoff.  Oftentimes, however, this exercise helps us realize that either a difficult change needs to take place, or perhaps sacrifices made - or else we won’t be able to accomplish what we set out to do.

The Five Step Process For Resolving “The Situation”

The above table discusses this through example, and here is a five step process for helping you make the difficult decisions you need to resolve “The Situation” -

1. Realize that nothing is non-negotiable. Everything in your life can be responded to and reacted to.  In many cases, commitments and issues can be changed.
2. Define “The Situation.” It’s sometimes said that knowing is half the battle - and in this case, this is especially true.  Write down the specific conflict that are causing your situation.
3. Define the root causes of this conflict.  Refer to the second column above for some common problems.  Everybody’s “situation” is different, so there is a good chance your specific conflict is not on the list.
4. Ask yourself the tough questions to resolve your conflict.  This is easier said than done, and I know it’s something I struggle with. Even when I know I have two conflicting needs (typically something in my lifestyle that gives short term enjoyment versus my long term goals), I have a hard time just asking myself the tough questions.
5. Answer the tough questions, and move on.  Simmer in step 4 for a little while, consider your options and think through your individual situation.  Once you’ve decided on a course of action, accept your answer and move forward.  In some cases, this may mean canceling commitments and lettings things go.

Your Thoughts?

What are you thoughts? Do you agree, disagree? Am I too harsh or totally off base here?

Enjoy this article?  Share it with this short URL - http://tr.im/situation

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• A Software Engineer’s Guide To Speaking With Non-Technical Managers
• The Best Personal Development Books Reading List
• Sid Cancels Commitment, World Does Not End. Sometimes, You Need To Just Let it Go
• Nerdy Productivity: Covey’s Time Management Matrix Illustrated with XKCD Comics
• The Curse of the Worst Acceptable Solution

© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: efficiency, goals, happiness, Life, work

Step 1: Improve Speaking and Pronunciation

Before I dealt with issue of speaking in public, I first wanted to be a good speaker.  There’s an unfortunate catch-22 with public speaking: good speakers have confidence, but they have confidence because they are skilled at public speaking.  To raise my own abilities, and confidence in those abilities, before I ever spoke in public I first practiced just speaking.

• Read out loud.   I had a number of choose-your-own-adventure novels I enjoyed when I was young. In addition to being entertaining, reading them out loud allowed me to practice speaking with a broad, exciting vocabulary.  Choose your own adventure books also lend themselves well to dramatic interpretation, which allowed me to play around with inflection and tone.  My brother and I would sometimes take turns with them, reading a page and then debating which was the best approach.  If I had to pick reading material to start with now, I would probably use op-ed pieces in newspapers. 
• Emulate other speakers.   As a child I watched Wheel of Fortune with my family. Pat Sajak had a calm, clear speaking voice.  When I started looking to improve my speech, I would watch and quietly repeat what he said to myself, and later while reading out loud in my room, or even in conversations with friends, I would ask myself “How would Pat Sajak say this?”  Pat Sajak was the ultimate host - he made people feel at ease, projected confidence and charisma, and spoke clearly.  I noticed how he looked people in the eyes, his body language and the way he was expressive with his hands and body - but not too expressive.   Eventually I stopped emulating him, as I grew into my own as a speaker.

Step 2: Practice Speaking and Poise

Once I was comfortable with speaking out loud clearly, I needed to improve my timing, tone, inflection and presentation.  There were no shortcuts for me - just lots of practice and steady improvement.  

• Practice speaking to a mirror.  This has always been a little difficult for me.   The usefulness of this activity is hard to dispute though.  The feedback is clear and immediate, and as I started improving it boosted my confidence by seeing how easy it was for myself to present an argument or point of view - even if it was just to myself. 
• Record yourself speaking.  Video works best, but even just hearing audio will point out flaws in your speaking.  You’ll notice whether you speak too slow or fast, the inflections in your voice, the “ums” etc. If you can stand it, it’s great to have someone else review your recording and critique you as well. In high school I picked up a cheap audio recorder and would record myself practicing class presentations.  I did this for timing, as well as to see how I sounded - did my presentation make sense, did I speak clearly, was I too slow or fast.  By the time I had to actually present in class, I had already heard the presentation a half dozen times - and breezed through it.

When I was attending USC for my master’s, I had to collaborate with other students on group projects which often ended in a class presentation at the close of the semester. Because we could not always meet in person to practice, we needed to find another way to review our speaking parts. The easy solution was to upload videos to YouTube. A couple of my classmates were foreign students who were still learning how to speak English. Watching them on video allowed me to point out grammar errors, inflection, mispronunciation, etc. After the course was over, one of them remarked to me that the group project recordings had done more to improve his speaking than the two years he had spent trying to immerse himself in America.

Step 3: Practice Speaking With Friends and Family

No real secret here - once I started improving my speaking skills, I enjoyed conversation more and was more outspoken among friends.  If you lack interesting material to talk about, consider reading some of my favorite personal development books.  Some other stories and thoughts from this site that provide good conversation fodder include:

• Famous Failures - Michael Jordan, Abraham Lincoln and J.K. Rowling  
  
• The Price of my Dreams - $60 a Week
• Are You Really Working - or Just Using Metawork as an Excuse to Avoid Real Work?

Step 4: Practice Speaking to Others - For a Small Audience

Once I had confidence in my abilities speaking, there were still a couple hurdles to cross.  Among them - would I run out of things to say, and since speeches are a one way street, how would I know if my audience was interested?  There are a few social situations that can help with this

• Multiple person dinner/party conversations.  All human interaction isn’t just one on one - oftentimes we’ll meet for dinner with multiple people, or perhaps I’ll be in a circle of friends at a party.  In these cases, when I’m talking and more than one person is listening, it’s a bit like a radio show - myself and the person speaking are the radio hosts, and the other spectating conversationalists are our audience.  These situations (unintentionally) present fantastic opportunities to work on speaking skills in a (generally) warm environment
• Committee meetings and debate.  I was in a number of service clubs, social clubs, student government organizations etc as a child.  Even at work I continue to have small 3-6 person committee meetings.  Once again, this provides a small, reasonably receptive audience to speak to - and one or two people who would provide immediate feedback.

Step 5: Practice in Small Venues

Once I was able to present my point of view in front of spectator audiences, it was time to speak to real audiences.  I started small, in welcoming environments

• Toasts/Speeches at Social Events.  Nobody is going to boo you off stage if you choose to make a toast at a New Year’s, etc.  Depending on your level of comfort, it can be simple (”Here’s a toast to health and happines in the New Year!”), or perhaps a short speech if appropriate for the event.  Remember, it’s just about practicing speaking.
• Toastmasters.  I’ve attended a few toastmaster’s meetings.  Though I never stuck with it long enough I have no doubt regular attendance would boost anybody’s speaking skills.  The meetings I attended were well organized and everyone had a chance to speak, if only for a few minutes.  Members also were able to present longer speeches (5-10 minutes) that they had worked on and prepared on various topics for the group, who then critiqued them and provided feedback on the presentation, as well as how well the speaker presented.  Practice coupled with constructive criticism  is a surefire recipe for public speaking success.

That’s it! Once I was able to speak comfortably at small venues, it was just a matter of increasing the size of my audience.  I typically do not speak to groups larger than 50-100 people in person, but I imagine past that point any issues that arise would be most likely related to intimidation and stage fright.  There’s no cure for that except for preparation, practice and putting yourself out there.  I have glossed over stage fright above, because it’s hard to address that directly - but after considering it, I think I have an explanation for how I overcame stage fright as well.

Bonus Tip:  Non-Speech Performances to Increase Speaking Confidence

The above steps are the basic formula I followed to improve my public speaking skills, but I have one final tip which didn’t fit in the above categories, but that definitely helped me overcome stage fright.  The secret? Performing in domains where I already had expertise, just to get me comfortable in front of an audience.

• Spectator Sports. Throughout school I played various sports - swimming, soccer, baseball, basketball, table tennis, tennis, badminton.  I was not a particularly good athlete, but my parents had to come cheer me on anyway.  Being out on the field in front of people, win or lose, gave me the confidence to be out there.  I am sure it helped that my parents were supportive - so be sure to bring some cheerleaders along.
• Karaoke, chorus, concerts and open mic nights.  I’ve always enjoyed music - I played piano when I was younger and play guitar now.  I sang in chorus, played for hundreds of people at concerts and have performed at dozens of open mic nights by myself. Any chance I get, I’ll sing at karaoke as well.  Hamming it up for friends and strangers helped boost my confidence to once again deal with stage fright, which made facing crowds easier when I delivered seminars and speeches.
• Plays and theater performances.  My good friend Ryan took a theater class his first year in college, and while he was hardly shy before that, taking the class definitely made him more outgoing.  Making a fool out of himself on stage, in front of 500 of his classmates, with no negative repercussions has helped him be effective in his role as a manager today. 

A Final Point - Experience and Expertise

One point I have glossed over above is that it takes experience and expertise to speak effectively on a topic. I can discuss with confidence various technology trends, blogging, web 2.0, time management, efficiency, etc - but I have no skill in other areas.  The reason I can speak confidently about certain domains is because I have the years of experience, training and personal study to back them up.  Put me in a situation where I need to discuss something that I have no familiarity with, and without adequate preparation time I’m sure to falter.  If you need to give a speech, don’t be scared of pushing your limits, but at least be aware of your expertise - and spend an appropriate amount of time preparing.  

What do you think? What other tips would you add?

Enjoy this article? Share it with your friends with this short link:  http://tr.im/speak. If you enjoy it, I would really appreciate it if you shared it with your friends, and on StumbleUpon and Reddit as well.If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

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© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: Add new tag, efficiency, learning, Public Speaking

“Life is but a brief moment. The years go by quickly and old age arrives suddenly before we have an inkling. People desire so many things and waste their days in vain. Some yearn for gold, others for power, yet others for glory and a higher station. But when death’s moment nears and they look back at their lives they’ve lived, they realize they’ve been happy only during those moments when they’ve loved.”
-Borje Vahamaki

“Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.”
- D.H. Lawrence

“Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it onto future generations.”
- George Bernard Shaw

“For a long time it seemed to me that real life was about to begin, but there was always some obstacle in the way. Something had to be got through first, some unfinished business; time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
-Bette Howland

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
- John Lennon

“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
- Oprah Winfrey

Dude This Entry Is Weird - This Is  Not Like Your Normal Articles. What Gives?

For years ago I have collected quotes that have in some way affected me and changed my life.  I collect them in random places - a professor opening a lecture with one, books and those irritating spam forwards from friends.  I have literally kept some scraps for years in physical folders - clipping from magazines and printed copies.

I have occasionally used these quotes to illustrate my articles.  For a long time, I have saved them, hoping for the right article to insert them into.    When Ali Hale offered to write about motivation when your passion fades, I dug up a quote from a Reader’s Digest scrap I’d ripped out over 15 years ago to help drive the point home.

I have now realized that six months have gone by, and due to my hardly using quotes in my writing, I have not shared many of these inspirational quotes about life.  It struck me as I drew a parallel between what I was doing, and another quote I really enjoy:

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion.”
- Mary Manin Morrissey

I do not know when the right time will be for many of my favorite quotes.  If I find an appropriate article I will reuse the quotes to illustrate a apoint - but even if I can’t, I still want to share them, else I do a great disservice to you, my readers.  Enjoy, and there will be more to come, perhaps once every couple weeks.If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• Motivation is Like Love: Coping When Your Passion Fades
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© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: Add new tag, happiness, Life

“We can’t complete our development in time based on these ridiculous estimates” I said bluntly.  “Everyone has been behind schedule, just like we said last week.  There is no way that our team is going to make their deliverables based on the current deadline.  Our development and productivity is only going to get worse the more we are rushed.”

After the meeting, the best manager I’ve ever had, Moe Nwankwo, told me he appreciated that I had been frank - and then gave me some constructive criticism and advice I’ll never forget:

“Sid, you can’t talk to project managers like that.  You can talk to me and developers that way - but you need to speak to our PM in terms she can understand and act on.”

I did not fully absorb what he meant at the time, but as I grew as a software engineer I am amazed at how poorly I communicated my concerns in the past.  I have since learned the secret of communicating effectively with my non-technical managers.

How To Speak The Language of Non-Technical Managers

1. Present the root cause of the problem, not just a symptom.
2. If possible, present a solution to the problem.
3. In English, please.

That’s it.  Easy, right?

Engineers and Verbal Shorthand

If the solution is so simple, why did it take me so long to figure it out?  As engineers, we often use verbal short hand to present a problem.  For example, if I tell another software engineer “I can’t work like this, Eclipse is chewing up all the RAM on my box, it sucks” they immediately know what I’m talking about.  Allow me to walk through another software engineer’s thought process when they hear me say that:

Eclipse is a development environment used to develop software.  The problem of it utilizing lots of RAM is fairly common.  This issue could be too many plugins, a memory leak, or perhaps a lack of RAM - a hardware problem.  The tone of Sid’s voice gives away his frustration.  Since Sid has a fair amount of experience with Eclipse, he has likely tried to troubleshoot it to see if he can resolve the issue and get the memory usage down.  At this point he may simply need a more powerful machine, and additional RAM may be the answer.

If that sounds like Greek to you don’t worry - understanding all of it isn’t the point.  The point is that by simply saying Eclipse is “chewing up all the RAM on my box, it sucks” I have conveyed a large amount of information to any engineer familiar with the domain I work in.  We don’t explain what the root cause is because we don’t want to insult each others’ intelligence.  This is the same reason we don’t lay out all the details for our managers - out of respect for their intelligence, and perhaps an expectation that they should understand what we’re talking about.

The bad news though is for many non-technical managers, presenting it that way likely won’t lead to a resolution, because it sounds like Greek to them as well.

Speaking The Language of Non-Technical Managers - An Example

Bad

“I can’t work like this, Eclipse keeps chewing up all my RAM.  It sucks.”

Complaining that Eclipse is chewing up my RAM is not going to get me anywhere, because my manager does not understand what that means.  They may be wondering What is Eclipse? What is it used for?  How is it “chewing up RAM” and what does that mean?  What sucks? A good manager will follow up with these questions and (hopefully) get to the root of the issue.

Better

“I can’t work like this.  My computer is unable to run the applications, such as Eclipse, that I need in order to develop our software.  The reason for this issue is I do not have enough RAM..”

Managers can’t act on the first one - but the second statement is much easier to deal with - and you’ve explained why it is important to the project/business (”I need these applications in order to develop our software”).  It is even better, though, if you are able to present a solution to the problem.

Best

“I can’t work like this.  My computer is unable to run the applications, such as Eclipse, that I need in order to develop our software. The reason for this issue is I do not have enough RAM.  To resolve this I need more RAM in my computer or a new, better computer.  I called Gary, and if you sign this form they can upgrade my computer and I’ll be more efficient immediately.”

Of course, depending on the bureaucracy in your organization, your boss may not want you calling your help desk and requesting an upgrade yourself - do whatever is appropriate.

Rewind - Trying It Again

If I could go back in time, I’m sure I would do things differently.  Perhaps I would have instead told my project manager something like this:

“We can’t complete our development in time, because the estimates were unrealistic to begin with.  The reason for this is because our users don’t know how long development takes.  To resolve this issue, either an engineer from our team or our manager needs to be present to help create a realistic schedule.

For our current status, everyone has been behind schedule, just like we said last week.   The reason for this is the unrealistic number of features in the time allotted.  Based on our past performance, we know that if we don’t cut features now, we will not make the deadline.  To resolve the issue we need to revise the schedule or cut features.

Our development and productivity is only going to get worse the more we are rushed.  The reason for this is we will be forced to cut corners when our schedule is tight, and we are not able to do adequate amounts of user testing. When this happens we are sure to miss bugs.   These issues will cause further losses in productivity as we will have to go back after the fact to fix them, which will impact the schedule for our new projects.  To resolve this issue we should constrain our development to a reasonable amount of new functionality being developed, so we keep time for testing in our schedule.”

Is this perfect? Maybe not - but it sure looks like an improvement to me.  Of course your project manager may throw your concerns out the window.  In my experience, if the concerns are escalated high enough and with these kinds of reasons and resolutions, you stand a much better chance of success.

While the examples I have provided are specific to software engineering, I have a hunch the lesson here applies across disciplines.  It’s a good idea to inform your managers of the symptoms, but it’s better if you can pinpoint the actual problem, and if possible, a solution. It’s not enough to just be accurate - we have to know our audience as well.

What are your thoughts?  How else can we improve communication between managers and employees?  Am I totally off base here?  

Update:  Check out Larry Kyrala’s response, which points challenges the assumption that a non-technical* manager can be an effective manager of a technology group with the right communication.

Enjoy this article? Share it with your friends with this short link: http://tr.im/managerspeak

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

• Sid Cancels Commitment, World Does Not End. Sometimes, You Need To Just Let it Go
• Personal Development Roadblocks - “The Situation”
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• The Best Personal Development Books Reading List

© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: efficiency, learning, work

Perhaps what you should have been surprised by is your own gullibility. Don’t feel too bad about it though - we all do it. It’s what’s known as the Forer effect, and it’s just one aspect of mental bias.

The Forer Effect

Back in 1948, psychologist Bertram R. Forer gave his students a personality test. He ignored their answers, and then handed them, individually, the exact same result, which read in part:

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. [...]
(Forer effect, The Skeptic’s Dictionary)

This was cobbled together from various horoscopes, and bore no relation to any of the students’ answers. Forer then asked his students to rate how accurate their profile was, on a scale of 0 – 5 (with 4 being “good” and 5 “excellent”). The average rating given was 4.26. Since 1948, the test has been repeated hundreds of times with other student groups, and the accuracy evaluation is always around 4.2.

So how can we explain the Forer effect? Most people are likely to accept claims about themselves that they want to be true - it’s very hard to be objective about your own nature. The Skeptic’s Dictionary suggests that:

We tend to accept questionable, even false statements about ourselves, if we deem them positive or flattering enough.

It’s a bit like a magic trick. The profile uses psychological facts about human nature, such as our tendency to engage in “subjective validation“: believing statements are correct because they have a personal meaning or significance to us. It also uses vague, unquantified language such as “a certain amount”, “at times”, “tend to be rather unrealistic”.

Since Forer’s research, other psychologists have found that people are much more likely to rate positive statements about themselves as accurate.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

People who expect to be successful are more likely to succeed.
People who expect to fail are more likely to fail.
We live up to our expectations.
(Self-fulfilling Prophecies, Terry Bragg, TerryBragg.com)

Suppose we follow someone attending a business conference.  Perhaps they believe horoscopes, and read one that says a new connection will take the to the next level in your career.  How you think they’ll act t the conferenc?  Chances are they’ll be prowling around networking during coffee breaks and lunch. They’ll meet lots of people, and perhaps one of them may indeed be able to give them that big break they need. But … does this mean their horoscope was correct?

In quantum mechanics, there’s an axiom that the observer affects the observed. It’s impossible to track, say, the motion of an atom without influencing it. Similar principles apply here: by knowing their horoscope, they end up making different decisions than if they were acting without this knowledge. If you are someone who reads and believes horoscopes, try living a month without them, then reading them at the end of the month. See if they still seem so accurate.

This is one of the reasons why the Law of Attraction works: you don’t manifest something purely through the power of your thoughts, but your focus on what you want leads you to put yourself into situations where you’re much more likely to make progress towards your goals.

Probable Coincidences

Another way in which positive thinking can go too far is when we read too much into coincidences. Have you ever had the experience of thinking of a friend you’d not spoken to in ages – followed by an unexpected phone-call or email from them?  Amazing! we think to ourselves, it must be a sign.  Of course, we won’t pay any attention to the dozens of times earlier in the day you daydreamed about chocolate chip cookies that failed to materialze. 

There are several reasons why we place too much importance on events that are simple coincidences. The two key ones that I want to look at here are:

• Hindsight bias (”the inclination to see events that have occurred as more predictable than they in fact were before they took place”)
• We tend towards selective validation – noticing positive correlations and ignoring near misses.

Hindsight Bias

Hindsight bias is when people who know the answer vastly overestimate its predictability or obviousness, compared to the estimates of subjects who must guess without advance knowledge. Hindsight bias is sometimes called the I-knew-it-all-along effect.
(Overcoming Bias: Hindsight bias, Eliezer Yudkowsky, Overcoming Bias.com)

When a jury or group of people are told the result of an event (Eliezer gives the example of outcomes of historical battles), they’re likely to rate this outcome as highly probable based on the evidence. Control groups who do not know the actual historical outcome assign more realistic probabilities to the various possible outcomes.

This means that, when a coincidence occurs, we sometimes think “I knew that was going to happen” … even when, if we’d been asked a few days before, we’d not have rated that particular event as any more likely than others.

Selective Validation (aka “the Jeanne Dixon effect”)

We forget all the premonitions of disaster we’ve had which didn’t predict the future and remember vividly those few which seemed to do so. Instances of seemingly telepathic thought are reported to everyone we know; the incomparably vaster number of times this does not occur are too banal to mention.
(from J.A.Paulos, Beyond Numeracy)

Have you ever had a dream which came true? Quite possibly – but you’ve probably also had hundreds of dreams which didn’t. Like the students who were given Forer’s personality profile, we tend to tune out the details that don’t fit, and focus on the few ones which suit us. That might mean selective memory of events, or focusing on the predictions made by astrologers and psychics which do seem to come true. This is known as illusory correlation.

Be aware that we’re all prone to this innate bias, however intelligent or well-educated we are. Next time you think that something’s an unbelievable coincidence, or an uncannily accurate prediction, question whether you’re unconsciously selecting evidence which happens to fit your viewpoint.

A common ploy used by psychics (often called the Jeanne Dixon effect) is to make dozens of predictions knowing that the more that are made, the better the odds that one will hit. When one comes true, the psychic counts on us to conveniently forget the 99% that were way off. This makes the correct predictions seem much more compelling than they really are. This is a conscious or deliberate form of subjective validation, or, put more simply, fraud.
(The Power of Coincidence: Some Notes on Psychic Predictions, Robert Novella, Quackwatch)

Don’t Be So Smug - You’re Not So Great

In addition to the biases discussed previously, there are a number of interesting biases we tend to have in relation to thinking about our own attributes in comparison to other peoples’. Most of us have a tendancy towards putting outselves on pedestals.

When people are asked to rate themselves at skills, desireable behaviours and attributes, they’re likely to say that they’re “above average”. For example, a survey of American college students found that 88% of drivers rated themselves as “above average” drivers. This is known as the Lake Wobegone effect:

[The Lake Wobegone effect] is named for the fictional town of Lake Wobegon from the radio series A Prairie Home Companion, where, according to the presenter, Garrison Keillor, “all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”
(Lake Wobegone effect, Wikipedia)

Another term for this is “illusory superiority”; rating yourself as “better” than other people within a group. This commonly occurs within professions and between colleagues or classmates. For example, the University of Nebraska asked teachers to rate themselves in terms of teaching ability. 68% of teachers believed they were in the top 25% - a statistical impossibility.

If you flatter yourself for being a great cook, a brilliant employee or a fantastic friend, consider whether you’re falling into the mental bias trap. Should you really be so smug - or are you underestimating where the “average” lies?

(And a warning to those reading this thinking “I’m not as prone to bias as the average person” … you’ve just found the bias blind spot.)

Thinking Cautiously

Ready to apply what we’ve just discussed? Here’s an example of a real life horoscope:

There’s a difference between knowing you’ll have to make decisions, which you do, and being ready to make them, which you’re not. You see yourself as being decisive, and so could worry that others might regard you as weak for leaving things open-ended. That may be true, at least right now. However, the time you invest in reflection between now and the Capricorn New Moon, on December 27, will yield valuable insights about here-and-now issues and, more importantly, your future. On the same day, the courageous Mars moves into your sign and, a day later, meets the uncompromising Pluto. After that, there will be no question where your direction lies.
(The Times: Woman section)

Can you see how this uses what we’ve seen above about our tendency towards positive, selective, thinking? For example, in the first sentence, we see the horoscope writer using a universal truth about human nature: we all know that we need to make decisions, and we all frequently feel that we’re not ready to do so on some matters. The second sentence also applies to most people – do any of you view yourself as indecisive?

The third sentence (“That may be true, at least right now.”) is vague enough to allow a lot of room for disagreement – the words may and at least show that the writer is not committing his or her self.

The next sentence relies on creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, “The time you invest in reflection … will yield valuable insights about here-and-how issues, and, more importantly, your future.” After reading this, many people would be encouraged to spend some time in reflection, with the expectation that this reflection would result in “valuable insights”. But this is not predicted by the horoscope – it’s caused by reading the horoscope. Having a life coach or business mentor tell you to spend more time on reflecting on your life and career would have a similar effect.

Positive thinking and focusing on what you want in your life (using the “Law of Attraction” if you wish) can be very helpful in leading you towards your goals. If you read horoscopes, predictions, or personality profiles provided by “experts,” however, proceed with caution. Be aware of the mental biases that we all have, and look out for vague language, general statements, the creation of self-fulfilling prophecies, and a reliance on coincidence.

Do you tend towards overly positive thinking – or do you manage to take a balanced, rational view of coincidences and so-called psychic phenomena? Share your thoughts with us in the comments…

P.S. This post is by Ali Hale. I promise we’ll have a better Author box up soon ;) - Sid

Want to share this with your friends? You can use this short link: http://tr.im/fuzzyIf you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy:

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• The Problem with The Pareto Principle

© ali for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: email, goals, Life, work

For those who are not familiar with it, here’s a picture and a brief overview.

• In Quadrant 1 (top left) we have important, urgent items - items that need to be dealt with immediately.
• In Quadrant 2 (top right) we have important, but not urgent items - items that are important but do not require your immediate attention, and need to be planned for.  This quadrant is highlighted because Covey emphasizes this is the quadrant that we should focus on for long term achievement of goals
• In Quadrant 3 (bottom left) we have urgent, but unimportant items -  items which should be minimized or eliminated. These are the time sucks, the “poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part” variety of tasks.
• In Quadrant 4 (bottom right) we have unimportant and also not urgent items - items that don’t have to be done anytime soon, perhaps add little to no value and also should be minimized or eliminated.  These are often trivial time wasters

In addition to providing text examples, I’m going to have a little fun and illustrate items from each quadrant using one of my favorite comics, XKCD.  Note: XKCD sometimes contains strong language and is not always safe for work.  All the items in this post however are, though they do contain some swearing.

Quadrant 4 - Not Urgent and Not Important

Clearly, not urgent, not important - and an obvious time waster.  Other time wasters include:

• Mindless web browsing
• Too much television/channel surfing for the sake of channel surfing
• Reading lots of random RSS feeds (no matter how fast you may read them)
• Junk and low value email

Quadrant 3 - Urgent and Not Important

A couple of my favorite examples, though I could have picked out more -

Other “Urgent” tasks that add little to no value

• Phone calls that are off topic
• Email that you have to reply to right away or it loses value (”Do you want some donuts? I have some in my office!”)

Quadrant 2 - Not Urgent And Important

Key to Quadrant 2 of course, tracking health - and the related variable, bacon intake…;-).  There are some other important, yet not urgent, things that fall into this quadrant as well:

• Exercise
• Reviewing your career path
• Maintaining relationships with family/friends

Just make sure whatever you’re keeping an eye on, you do it accurately - and don’t go overboard…

Quadrant 1 - Urgent and Important

Perhaps not entirely rational, but at least her priorities are in order.  Other examples:

• Family Emergencies
• Real, hard deadlines for important projects

Your Thoughts?

What do you think of the matrix? Of the comics I selected?  Do you have any other thoughts or comments regarding important versus urgent?

Enjoy this post? You can share it with your friends using this short URL - http://tr.im/coveyxkcd

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© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, email, goals, Life, Stephen Covey, xkcd

Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
- Oasis - Wonderwall from (What’s the Story) Morning Glory

We tossed in 50 pence and kept walking. After we passed and he finished the verse, he went silent for 15 seconds.  We were down the hall and almost to our platform when I heard him start strumming again.  I assumed he was going to continue the song - but he didn’t.  Instead, he began singing the opening verse again - Today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you…

He Doesn’t Know The Lyrics?

We couldn’t believe it.  Surely he knew the lyrics?  While it is possible he didn’t, the quality of his singing, guitar playing and unmistakably being in England all suggested our busker should be  familiar with the song.  If he knew the full song, why not play it all the way through - why repeat the verse?

The answer I believe is this:  Playing the first verse over and over again was more profitable than playing the full song.  Many people know the beginning of Wonderwall, and he probably discovered that tourists tipped  more often when they recognized the song in the brief few seconds as they walked by.  By the time he finished the verse, most of his “paying customers”  were no longer listening anyway.  In that case, there was no sense in continuing on to play the rest of the song:  the tippers weren’t sticking around for the rest of it, and newcomers were less likely to recognize it if they walked by in the middle. Thus, per customer, the introduction and first verse likely provided the most value to his clientele - and thus were the most profitable.

It was brilliant - and I believe there’s a lesson here for all of us.   Rather than playing the full song for his entertainment, he played the most recognizable portions to please his audience.  Sometimes we forget who our audience is, and end up neglecting them and only doing what we desire.  I can think of a few examples where I am guilty of this myself.

Setting Up A Website - Based On What I Want

I recently volunteered to create a Wordpress based site for a non-profit group I work with.  While adding some features they requested, I encountered a show-stopping issue. I researched the problem and discovered it was specific to the version of the software I was on - and there was a simple workaround, a hack that would fix it.  (Before I go any further, I’d like you to notice in this story the decisions I make, and whose desires I consider)

When I found this workaround, I was unhappy with it.  I prefer to avoid workarounds and hacks.  I like my software to be clean, well organized, and well written.

I read that the issue was fixed in the next version, and beta users were reporting it had been resolved.  I didn’t want to use beta software either though, so, rather than using either solution (hacking in the workaround, or try the beta) - I wanted to wait until Wordpress released their upgrade, expected within a week or two.  It took much longer to be released than I anticipated, and when it was finally released, everything went smoothly and I set the site up for them - 2 months late.

Do you think they cared that we had done things the way I wanted? It’s possible - it’s true they may have made the same decisions I made at each point along the way.  It’s also possible that some users faced with this situation, given a choice, would opt to hack it in or take their chances on the beta for the immediate solution.   Notice how I only thought in terms of what I desired - and completely forgot about my audience when making my decisions.  For two months while we waited, the group’s planning and communications were affected due to decisions I made based on my desires - and not theirs.

The Lesson - Remember Your Customer/Audience

While I think the busker in London exemplifies this point, I should also note this is the third principle Dale Carnegie covers in How To Win Friends and Influence People.  The whole chapter is great, but this quote perhaps sums it up best

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.”
- Henry Ford, as quoted on page 37 in  How To Win Friends and Influence People

Do you have examples of instances where you made a decision to proactively please your customers/audience? Or perhaps an example of where you forgot to - and ended up dealing with the consequences?

(By the way, this is a wonderful acoustic version of Wonderwall I found on YouTube.)

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© Sid for SidSavara.com, 2009. | Permalink | Post tags: guitar, happiness, learning, money, singing, work