Side "B"

BBC: Thought for the Day - 10 June 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 21:48:00 +0000

Credit: The Rev Rob Marshall

It's Time! That's South Africa's motto for the world's greatest sporting occasion, the World Cup, which opens tomorrow in Johannesburg.

The phrase "It's Time" is still associated with the expectation accompanying the release of Nelson Mandela and the end of apartheid. But, for the World Cup, it's taken on a new level of expectation.

First, of course, It's Time for soccer to strut its stuff. I'm sorry for those who are dreading next month. But even the most cynical football critic might just flick over to watch England face the Americans on Saturday night.

Secondly, of course, It's Time for South Africa to show that it can deliver on the expectation which has built up over years of preparation. New airports, stadia, roads and hotels. I saw many of them myself during a recent visit. After all the preparation : now it really is the time.

Most important of all, however - and a lot of documentaries and features have been highlighting this in recent days - It's Time for South Africa to really move forward. All of the rhetoric; the hope embodied when apartheid came to an end, the inexcusable and painful levels of poverty and inequality which remain - It's Time to use the opportunity of being in the world's spotlight for all the right reasons - to create a better South Africa.

The idea that you have to prepare carefully if you want to deliver rather than disappoint is deeply theological. The people of God had been waiting for something good to happen after centuries of disappointment. Then, in the first of the Gospels to be written, in the first chapter - Mark writes: "the time has come, the time is at hand, the Kingdom of God is actually here. The moment has arrived".

And, being human, those who encountered this mystery responded in a variety of ways. Indeed, the announcement took a lot of believing. Some were interested. Some rejected it out of hand. Others still do. After all, human beings are on a constant search to explain the mystery of the meaning of life and Mark's message seemed too good to be true.

Does the international community really believe that It's Time for South Africa? I hope so. Have the people of South Africa got it in them, to realise, to believe their own slogan - that this is their time, their moment? I hope so even more. That this really is the time for the rainbow nation to produce a memorable world cup.

The Talmud, echoing Ecclesiastes wonderful poem about there being a time for everything, observes that the humans can never control time. If we try to force time we will surely be pushed back.

Rather we should seize every given moment, such as this, and make the most of it

Lessons learnt from my lost pen

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 23:55:00 +0000

Something happened to me today and I thought I’d share with you all.

In the course of my job, I sometimes work at height and with/near hazardous substances. How does a 32%w/v Hydrochloric acid (HCl) at a temperature of 80-90 Celsius sound? Nice huh?

One of the characteristics of HCl is its high vapour pressure. At temperatures as high as these, the vapour pressure is even higher. This implies that if the process does not include very good fume extractors, everyone and everything around are in danger of inhaling acid fumes. This can be damaging. The effect of this on material around is increased rate of corrosion in metal components.

Today, standing on Iron mesh at about 15 feet above ground level, I was working by an acid tank (about 12%w/v, 85 Celsius HCl) where I was planting Q-Panels to monitor rate of corrosion around the tanks. Health and safety procedure required that I wore my gloves even if I wasn’t going to touch any solution. After changing the panels, I took out my notepad and started making notes of my observations. It can be quite awkward trying to hold a pen with gloves on when you could hardly control your fingers. I finished taking my notes and as I tried closing my notepad, my pen fell. It fell into a drain 15 feet below. My instinct told me, just walk down the stairs and pick it up. But I couldn’t. Not because there were no stairs and not because the stairs are inaccessible – I came up via the same stairs.

I knew it was bye-bye to my lovely pen. In the nearly filled, two-feet deep drain, a “clear-ish” liquid slowly flowed and my pen swam inside. Though not my most expensive pen, this was my favourite pen and I’d had it for a while. I still had need for a pen and my office is about half a mile trek from this job location. So I walked to one of the plants nearby. I’d made friends with the contract staff in that office and we all flow real well. Aubrey was the guy on shift. I told him I just lost my pen while working near the acid tanks. He graciously gave me another pen, which is a lot nicer than the one I had.

Why do you think I’m taking you through the torture of this story? As I continued with the task I was on, with my new pen, what transpired played itself in my mind and I was able to liken it to my life. Sometimes, we hold on to something because it is the most convenient thing to do. Sometimes we just don’t know why. But when God says it’s time to let go, He orchestrates situations that’d make you give it up even if you don’t want to. The pen I lost wasn’t the most expensive but I’d got used to it at work I couldn’t see myself using any other pen, not even from the many other ones in my drawer and bag.

Another lesson learnt is that if God knows that after giving up something, because you’re attached to it, you may want to find a way to reclaim it, He makes it really awkward and often impossible for you. I had the option of giving up my pen completely or dipping my hands in the acid drain where it fell and get burnt or even lose my hands from acid burn.

That’s not all, when God asks you to let go of something, He has a better plan for you. It’s just that often we’re not patient to wait for His perfect will. I wouldn’t have the joy of owning this new pen that Aubrey gave me if I didn’t lose the other one. When God gives you something, it’s always the best. Even if it was this same God that gave you what He wants you to forfeit today. He knows that the season for that blessing has passed and it’s time for you to move on to fresher and newer and usually better things. My new pen feels smoother on paper and it’s branded and more beautiful.

For anyone reading this, know that when God leads you to a new vision, He’s already made provision S for it. He already planted your Aubrey nearby if you lose your pen.

Aubrey is an elderly man in his sixties and there’s only one person on shift in his job. You’re often by yourself if you work in his part of the plant. After he gave me my new pen, we spent about 30 mins talking. I learnt more about him and his wife. I didn’t know he’s a painter and such a good photographer until then. His wife and daughter are fabulous cake makers. I told him about my poetry skills. I could see he felt happier.

Another lesson learnt, even if God sends someone your way to bless you, know that you’re also being a blessing to them by receiving the “gift” A few years ago, a friend’s sister refused a cash gift from another friend. My friend reprimanded her for refusing the gift. He said to her, “do you know that you just robbed him of his blessings?” The girl asked how; afterall she was the one who just refused a gift. My friend said to her, “For every giver, God has prepared a blessing. You just blocked this guy’s blessing by not accepting the gift and you also just refused God’s blessing” That was hard to take in but it makes sense to me. God used Aubrey to bless me with a pen and used me to keep him company for as much as was necessary. He probably was feeling alone in his little cubicle.

Catch ya!

Umar Faruk Mutallab

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 23:58:00 +0000

The socio -psychological roots of terrorism

Written by Is'haq Modibbo Kawu

The attempted bombing of a trans-Atlantic airliner on Christmas day, brought an unwelcome search light to Nigeria, with discovery that would-be bomber was a 23-year old scion of a distinguished family from Northern Nigeria; a family whose name literally, was a byword for wealth. This must be the most difficult period for the family whose son abandoned all the trappings of success to become an operative of the terrorist organization, Al-Qaeda. What on earth went wrong? It is instructive that Alhaji Umar Mutallab had reported the activities of the son to Nigerian and American intelligence agencies, two months ago, following “the disappearance and cessation of communication which got his mother and father concerned”. They could not stop the attempted crime, but God prevent the catastrophe! Since the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States and the declaration of a “War on Terror”, there have been worries about the possibilities of local branches of the international terroristic networks becoming active in West Africa in general and in Nigeria in particular. The Americans have been worried about the growth of Salafist Groups in North-West Africa and as a result, have instituted anti-terrorist training projects for armies from Mali to Nigeria. On the other hand, Osama Bin Laden had also mentioned Nigeria as one of the Muslim countries that must be liberated.

Given this mix, the Nigerian state security apparatus has dealt with uprisings by local, fringe religious groups as Nigeria’s war on terror. The social roots of the grievances of these local groups are not sufficiently, if ever, studied in the first place. The overwhelming use of force is standard response of the Nigerian state, as indeed of other client states that got sucked into the Bush administration’s war on terror. So those who believe that Al-Qaeda has a hand in religion-inspired social explosions in Nigeria might be tempted to reach a “We-told-you-so” conclusion, when the Umar Faruk Mutallab attempt was foiled and revealed to the world. But what is clear from the evidence so far released shows no local, Nigerian content to the despicable act perpetrated by that young man. The roots of Umar Faruk Mutallab’s socialization into terrorism must be sought outside of Nigeria, and unfortunately for his grieving family, they carry a large slice of the problem and by extension, the ruling elite and their propensity to abandon their parenting responsibilities, and instead farming out their children, with impressionable minds, to the culturally-confusing environments of the advanced capitalist countries.

Umar Faruk attended the British School in Togo, before going to attend the very prestigious University of London; as the British press has revealed in the past few days, he was attending school from a Two Million Pound flat in the most expensive suburbs of London. If the parents thought they were living it up to their status as some of the most important people in Nigeria’s class-divided society, where the gap between the rich and the poor is said to be one of the worst in the world, the social and psychological impact on their son was obviously lost to them! Not only was Umar Faruk torn from his Northern Nigerian culture, at a very young age, he was also dealing with deep-seated confusion about his sexuality as well as an alienating loneliness. THISDAY newspaper of Wednesday, December 30th, 2009, carried postings from an Islamic website by the young Umar Faruk, which provide fascinating insights into the confusion he had to balance in his life, which ultimately also led to the journey to his recruitment by Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula.

In the first posting, from 28 January, 2005, Umar Faruk said “I have no friend. Not because I do not socialize, etc but because either people do not get too close to me as they go partying and stuff while I don’t, or they are bad people who befriend me and influence me to do bad things”. Then there is the problem of sexual repression/confusion (a taboo subject in Northern Nigerian culture!) which he obviously was wrestling with: “As I get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and I struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze. And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused[…] But I am only 18 […] It would be difficult for me to get married due to social norms of getting to the late 20’s when one has a degree, a job, a house, etc before getting married. THE LAST THING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS MY DILEMA BETWEEN LIBERALISM AND EXTREMISM (My emphasis). […] How should one put the balance right”? With the tragic turn of events, it seemed that Umar Faruk found his “balance” not within the values of his culture or with his parents, but within the conspiratorial world of radical Islam.

It appears the relationship between parents and son became increasingly alienated as the ruling class father, saw his son become separated from the social values he cherishes. A posting of February 5, 2005 was poignant: “I will describe myself as very ambitious and determined, especially in the Deen”. On the situation in the Muslim world, Umar Faruk posted on May 9, 2005, that “The Prophet (SWH) did say a time will come when the leaders will be the worst among the people. Indeed this seems to be the time….we are ruled by the worst of people, tyrants. May Allah help us and guide us all, and establish for us good leaders who fear Him”. It was action based on this mindset, which led to the “disappearance and cessation of communication” which alarmed the father sufficiently to inform the CIA on his son and the ill-fated act of terrorism by Umar Faruk.

I stopped over in Cairo in May on my way from Eritrea, and met a very young daughter (she couldn’t be more than 20) of a prominent Northern politician attempting to check into the hotel with another girl and a young boy of about 22years. She wanted a smoking room, and frankly told me they had come to “enjoy the weekend”! Her father visited the previous week, but otherwise, she comes to Nigeria only once a year. There was also the story of a prominent Northerner whose daughter had been kept in Switzerland for years and then the girl chose to marry a Swiss boy, despite the objections of a devastated father. The girl was said to have told the father she was really more Swiss than Nigerian! Our ruling elite steal our nation blind and try to create an oasis of comfort for themselves and children, but in the process, they end up having alienated children who are open to all manners of negative influences: prostitution (clandestine and open), drugs and the extremism which a tragic, lonely heir to fabulous wealth, Umar Faruk Mutallab, succumbed to. Those who bring home ant-ridden firewoods invite the visits of lizards, as an African proverb said.

What Lord Lugard Thought About Nigerians

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:14:00 +0000

Last week my friend, Babs Sobanjo, forwarded me the following piece said to be an extract from a Confidential Document by the British colonialist, Lord Frederick Lugard, who established the geographical contraption he, with the help of his lover, gave the name Nigeria. The piece, snotty in the extreme, typifies the British in their calculating, self-serving, devilry. It represents Lugard’s appraisal of the African as represented by Nigeria and Nigerians. But, for me, it provides food for thought, even if his generalization is silly. The characterizations are grave, grievous and damning. But I cannot blame Frederick. It cannot be his fault. As the Yoruba would say, akuko wa lo fi ogbe ori e fun kolokolo je – our cockerel volunteered its flaming crown for the scared fox to feel and see that its nothing but flesh! And as Babs says, it is “nasty but true.” Babs goes further to say, and I agree: “For our fathers and grandfathers, this was pardonable but for us not to have moved dramatically from this perception, it is worrying to say the least..” Here goes Lord Frederick Lugard: (Caps mine)

"In character and temperament, the typical African of this race-type is a happy, thriftless, excitable person. LACKING IN SELF-CONTROL, DISCIPLINE, AND FORESIGHT. Naturally courageous, and naturally courteous and polite, full of personal vanity, with little sense of veracity, fond of music and loving weapons as an oriental loves jewelry. HIS THOUGHTS ARE CONCENTRATED ON THE EVENTS AND FEELINGS OF THE MOMENT, and he suffers little from the apprehension for the future, or grief for the past. His mind is far nearer to the animal world than that of the European or Asiatic, and exhibits something of the animals’ placidity and want of desire to rise beyond the State he has reached. Through the ages THE AFRICAN APPEARS TO HAVE EVOLVED NO ORGANIZED RELIGIOUS CREED, and though some tribes appear to believe in a deity, the religious sense seldom rises above pantheistic animalism and seems more often to take the form of a vague dread of the supernatural"

“HE LACKS THE POWER OF ORGANIZATION, and is conspicuously deficient in the management and control alike of men or business. HE LOVES THE DISPLAY OF POWER, but fails to realize its responsibility... he will work hard with a less incentive than most races. He has the courage of the fighting animal, an instinct rather than a moral virtue... In brief, the virtues and defects of this race-type are those of attractive children, whose confidence when it is won is given ungrudgingly as to an older and wiser superior and without envy...Perhaps the two traits which have impressed me as those most characteristic of the African native are HIS LACK OF APPREHENSION AND HIS LACK OF ABILITY TO VISUALIZE THE FUTURE." ---Lord Frederick John Dealty Lugard, The Dual Mandate, pg.70 (1926)

Sheathe your dagger, fellow Nigerians, the imbecile Lugard is long dead. There’s no point in getting mad at him. On the other hand, our madness should be directed at ourselves: leaders and followers alike. Let us look all around us and see how much of “self-control, discipline, and foresight” we possess or exhibit, be it in our personal or public lifestyles. What “self-control, discipline and foresight” did our Heads of State, Presidents and Governors have in looting the public treasury with abandon and carrying their loot abroad to benefit foreign countries? What “self-control, discipline and foresight” have we, as citizens got in the manner we drive on our roads, or show complete disregard for the next person? What thoughts of communal or common interest do we have in our actions and behaviour? How much do we care about not littering the street, not blocking drainages, not building houses haphazardly, not blocking streets with our parties such that other people’s right of way are trampled upon?

Aren’t our thoughts “concentrated on the events and feelings of the moment”? Don’t we demonstrate a “lack of ability to visualize the future”? Otherwise, would we remain the way we are, doing things the same way and expecting different results? Would the need for a holistic electoral reform in conformity with Justice Uwais’ recommendation be such a difficult thing to grasp? Would we still be running a system of governance whereby three-quarters of national revenue are being consumed in wages, salaries, allowances, etc of legislative and executive gravy train? Would Local Government Councilors, House of Assembly members, be on full time and be earning more than a professor? Many things just don’t make sense, but we go ahead nevertheless as no one can be bothered, and feathers must not be ruffled. Would we, at this point in our lives and at this juncture of the 21st century still be grappling with electricity, with pot-holed roads, without a modern rail system, without good education for our youth? What kind of beings are we?

Lugard says: “the African appears to have evolved no organized religious creed”. Shame. Serves us right. Would he say such nonsense if we as Africans had worked at our own religion, allowed it to evolve, refined it, upheld it, intellectualized it, rather than swallowing the foreign ones handed down to us that makes us invoke experiences of foreign lands and spirits of their ancestors rather than ours? Granted that Lugard himself, foolish as he was, forgot that the religion he practiced and saw as of his people belonged to some other races. The Nigerian “loves the display of power”. Doesn’t he? Isn’t our bigmanism – “you-no-know-me? – a character trait? Isn’t the world sniggering at our leaders as the strut about the place like demi-gods helping no one and serving no one but themselves? Lugard says, the Nigerian “lacks the power of organization”. Doesn’t he? I would imagine that goes without saying. I have just come back from Abuja and the bedlam I saw on the roads made me weep. I am left in no doubt that in another five years’, Abuja would be unrecognizable by its filth and chaos. What are we doing? Why is it so difficult to organize the traffic, effect road markings, and set some order to life? Why, in so short a time from the departure of el Rufai, is Abuja going to the dogs? Why couldn’t we organize our sports such that credible age-group categories competitions field only those truly within the categories? Why are our values so warped?

Why has it been such a problem establishing and maintaining durable and credible structures for the sustenance and growth of the country? Why would basics like credible census, compulsory birth and death certificates, be such rocket science for us? Why would it be so difficult to see that the Federal Government has no business in funding Local Governments that are arbitrary creation of the military in the first place? Why are so many things wrong with us, so many obviously wrong things carried on same way while expecting different results and mouthing a 20-2020 nonsense?

What a country – Lugard, methinks you’re right after all.

NB: “The Dual Mandate in British Tropical Africa” was published in 1922. It discusses indirect rule in colonial Africa. In this work, Lugard outlines the reasons and methods that he recommended for the colonization of Africa by Britain. Some of his justifications included spreading Christianity and ending barbarism. Lord Frederick John Dealtry Lugard (22 January 1858 – 11 April 1945) was High Commissioner of the Protectorate of Northern Nigeria till 1906, having earlier, in August 1897, organized the West African Frontier Force which he commanded until December 1899. He was Governor-General of Nigeria from 1914-1919.

Credit: Tunde Fagbenle

Great Service is an uncompromising Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:29:00 +0000

This is a story written by Harvey Mackay about a cab driver.

Harvey was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing he noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey . He handed him a laminated card and said:
"I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement."

Wally's Mission Statement:

“To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment”.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf."
Harvey said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."
Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."
Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke."
Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day.

"Tell me, Wally," Harvey asked the driver, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled into the rearview mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years of driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competitors. “Don't be a duck; Ducks quack and complain. Be an Eagle; Eagles soar above the crowd.”

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an Eagle. The other cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said.

"It sure has," Wally replied. "My first year as an Eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action."

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like Eagles.

No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction.

"The man who does more than he is paid for will soon be paid for more than he does".

Men are donkeys!

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:22:00 +0000

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that
works.

***************************************************

Equation 2

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

****************************************************

Equation 3

Woman= eat + sleep + spend

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend

Woman - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

*******************************************************

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't
spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!

And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:
Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can
conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live
happily together!

Enjoy every moment of Life.

10 Inspiring Thoughts for Tough Times

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:21:00 +0000

Difficult financial times often inspire people to become more extraordinary. Challenge and adversity can push people towards their own greatness. It can launch you on a deeper personal journey toward happiness, fulfillment, and a life of meaning. As you explore ways to gather strength and improve self-esteem, remember, it is not so much about what you have but who you are. May these tips inspire you. May you go from strength to strength and be a source of strength to others.

Broke Is Not Broken: Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet.

Having Less Doesn't Mean You Are Less: Don't confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are.

Savor Life and Slow Down: When you're in a hurry, go slowly. The faster you go in life the sooner it is a blur.

Prayer Creates a New Path: Prayer creates a path where there is none and turns your stumbling blocks into building blocks.

Courage Is Not Absence of Fear: Put your faith, and not your fears, in charge. Courage isn't the absence of fears but how you wrestle with them.

Embrace the Future: If you're busy hugging the past, you can't embrace the future. Don't let the past kidnap your future.

Change Is the Only Constant: This too shall pass. Change is the only constant. In order to take a breath, you must release your breath.

Make a Difference: Do what you can, but never forget that letting go is very different from giving up. Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make all the difference in your life.

Embrace Happiness: Tough times don't require you to be tough on yourself. Find the courage to embrace happiness.

You Are Great: Things don't have to be good for you to be great.

Credit: Noah benShea

Beauty in Imperfections

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 07:29:00 +0000

Last week Friday, a seemingly harmless ‘boys’ gossip’ prompted me to reflect on the diversity in our choices as humans and the drivers of those choices. It drives home the fact that one man’s meat may well be another man’s poison. However, it is important to bear in mind how important it is to respect people’s opinions and choices. I can only offer advice irrespective of what I think about my brother’s choice(s) in life but he is absolutely responsible for his actions, consequent upon his choices.

It’s been a while since I spoke with Ted although we both live in the same country. I needed his expert advice on a technology I’d been fiddling with. So, I gave him a ring.

After giving his advice on what he thinks I needed to do to resolve the problem I had with my gadget, I asked if he’d be attending the wedding of a mutual friend, coming up in a few weeks’ time as the venue is not too far from where I live. I asked if he’d be coming on the day of the event or a day before and he replied that he’d prefer to come a day before, depending on whether he’s able to get approval from his place of work.

Typically, he asked if Margaret would be coming (from abroad) for the wedding and I said I don’t know, as I’ve not heard from her in a while. Then he asked if I was also buying a grey suit for the occasion. I said I wasn’t told there was a dress code and nothing in the IV I received suggested I needed a special colour of attire for the day. Surprisingly, I found myself telling Ted how Dennis is keen about me coming to spend some times with him and his fiancée before the wedding date and even more surprisingly, I found myself telling how nice the bride to be appeared to be from my impression of her the few times I’d met her. Before I could finish, Ted cut in; “oh, you’ve met the babe? “ I said ‘yes’ and his next question put question marks on a whole lot of things: “Is the babe fine?” Trying to read through his mind, I found myself stammering, ‘errrr…. Yeah, she’s not bad at all! She matches Dennis’ height pretty well and their children will definitely make it in the Celtics. My attempt to parry the question was a disaster. “Your ‘she’s not bad at all’, doesn’t sound convincing” Anyway, the popular saying, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” helped me kill the conversation and we went on to talk about something else eventually.

As I spoke with Ted, my mind ran through what may have prompted his question about our friend’s choice of a partner. I later ruminated on my age-long held belief that our values influence our thinking which in turn influences our words and actions. Interestingly, Ted’s comment was on the delicate issue of relationships; Relationship between two different individuals, which is about to transpire into a lifetime contract in the next few weeks. I have seen scores of relationships in life, many of which are enviable successes and a lot of which are disasters, and the rhetorical question “what is the key to a successful relationship” or to be more direct, “what do people look out for in a relationship?” welled up.

You’d agree this is a rather difficult question but the answer can save a whole world of pains and heartbreak if the individuals are being honest and pragmatic (By the way, I had to answer this question just this Saturday! :-D). Your perception of relationships and marriage as an institution and hence your vision will be your driving force. I’ve been caught in situations where people have questioned my motivation in a relationship. Often times, their opinions are influenced by their own outlook to life, which does not necessarily translate into the way I personally see and take life. Because I do not conform to their stereotype, my decisions on certain issues of life might look like a pending disaster in their eyes.

I said to Ted on Friday and later on Saturday when he rang after seeing the lady’s photo on Facebook, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. I love physical beauty and if you know me well enough you’d find that it reflects in my choice of everything including gadgets. However, I’ve come to realise that in the delicate topic of relationships, especially when it graduates into our choice of a life partner, I find myself in the general school of thought that a person’s innate beauty surpasses their extrinsic charm when ticking the boxes. While I will not substitute one for the other, I am of the opinion that the bedrock of a marital relationship should be the quest for both parties to sow and reap lasting joy and happiness in a lifetime shared until death do them part. Once this is in place, every other thing (which automatically becomes secondary) falls into place and if my friend Dennis has found a fertile ground to sow the joy of a lifetime, I daresay no man has the right to scorn him for being bold about it. Afterall, if you love me, that overrides what everyone else (including me) says about me. Beyond the façade of ‘what makes me tic about my partner’ is an inexplicable love in my heart that stems from what others would ordinarily think should make me “untic” – the beauty in our imperfections.

Commitment precedes vision

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Mon, 25 May 2009 10:14:00 +0000

In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them.

To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person's vision may not be that of another.

To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled.

The spiritual side of life knows everyone's heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out.

The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.

- High Eagle

Get off Facebook and get a life!

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:08:00 +0000

Recently, during my 35 minutes or so drive to work, I followed an opinion on radio about the impact of social networking websites such as Facebook (FB) on people, especially young ones in today's world. The speaker was of the opinion that because young people (and older ones) spend so much time on the internet nowadays, they do not have real contacts and relationships with friends and as such do not socialise in the real sense of it. Later in the eveningon that same day, I went for a meeting and quite a number of us were early for the meeting. While we were waiting for the meeting to start, a debate about this same topic ensued among some of my friends. I joined in the conversation and it was amazing to see how people view things from different perspectives. Today, as I signed out of my e-mail box, I noticed a news headline on my homepage that reads; “Get off Facebook and get a life”

The opinion of “experts” is that, contrary to the objectives of their founders, social networking via internet technology has greatly reduced physical networking among youngsters . At the moment, there's so much debate going on, on this subject to the extent that some experts are beginning to link some diseases with the amount of time that individuals spend on social networking websites (Please follow this link to read and listen to ITN story/interview on psychologist, Dr Aric Sigman)

I am of the opinion that social networking websites are good and have met the objectives of their founders although we cannot rule out instances of abuse by a handful of individuals. When I say abuse, I’m taking about people who use these sites to pry into the affairs of unsuspecting users and possibly use these sites for vices such as identify fraud. I’m also talking about individuals who have allowed these sites to take control of their life. It’s amazing sometimes when I browse through people’s pages and see that they’ve practically been on FB all day! I think people like that need to get a life as suggested by Dr Aric. While these networking platforms are good media to make contacts and catch up with “lost” contacts, I think it is foolhardy when individuals waste productive time very busy doing things that do not add any value to them directly or indirectly. Sometimes I wonder how people cope with what their conscience tells them when they burn their employers’ time facebooking at work. As a consequence, these individuals sacrifice their time with their family when they have to leave the office late because they have work catching ups to do when everyone else has gone home, just because they’ve been irresponsible enough to be facebooking all day.

I have two very good friends whom I don’t think I would have ever met in life if there weren’t social networking sites. About six years ago, I received “add friends” invitations from people that I hadn’t met before, to add them in my Hi-5 friends list. Each time that I receive such requests, I “screen” (If they’re people that I don’t know directly) the requests before adding the individual. Often, I add some and ignore some of them. It turned out that communication progressed between me and two of these my new friends. With time, we exchanged phone numbers; phone calls led to visits and we’ve since been very good friends! I remember the first time I visited one of them who happens to be a lady; I was a bit amused at the way I was treated when I got to their house at Ikotun, Lagos, Nigeria. Someone somewhere may have thought I was a “new boyfriend” or something. Everyone around “cleared” off and gave us “the privacy we deserved” throughout my four hours visit. Guess what, the same thing happened when she returned the visit! I've seen a few couples who met on social networking websites and have since been very happily married. I have seen good business relationships established through online networking contacts

If you’ve been following my line of thought, you may agree with me in this regard or say ‘well, that was just a one-off’ (or is it two-offs now?) I’d agree with you that the ‘good’ online experience may be a one-off because I have also met some funny individuals whom I didn’t need an Einstein to explain to me that they were scavengers looking for innocent people to prey on. I told some of them off straight away while in some cases (when I’m in a good mood) I played along with the individuals until they got tired of me and got off my page. Good online experience is not about making friends online alone. You can make legitimate and very good income online especially during this period of global economic hardship, using the same tools that others are wasting away – your computer, your eyes, your fingers and your head!

My take from the foregoing is that everyman has a motive and motivation for doing everything they do. So, when you find yourself addicted to facebook and think you need a break, take a break and probe yourself about your motive for staying glued to that/those pages. You may want to take a pause as well and ask if you’re adding any value to yourself or people around you by staying on your computer all day checking "your friends’" photos and reading their walls. You may actually even get more involved by exchanging mundane messages for eight hours or more on the internet in the name of social networking! While you were at it, others would have made many multiples of eight of whatever currency that they’re familiar with in those eight hours (minimum) that YOU have spent incurring electricity bills and causing potential harm to your eyes by inflicting them with radiations from your computer screen.

RELATIONSHIPS

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:57:00 +0000

If you allow circumstances to shape your vision, then there’s no need to being born – Victor Ogedegbe

Perhaps the above quote bears no relevance to this post; I think it’s too relevant to be ignored. By the way, I heard those words direct from the horses’ mouth last night in a telephone conversation and I immediately felt it might encourage/challenge someone out there.

Today marks another cycle in my existence in this realm and I will like to wish myself a Happy New Year, like I say to people on their birthday. The thought of birthdays I reckon symbolises our recognition, as humans, of our “date of manufacture”. Although, one may argue that a man’s date of manufacture is the day s/he was conceived, I doubt if the brightest of scientists can determine this date accurately – the reason why an expectant parent would only be given “expected date of delivery” which is only a guess.

Until a few years ago when a group of guys from my fellowship on campus paid me a surprise birthday visit, I hardly remembered my birthday! Until my birthday in 1999, I only remembered my birthday when I had to fill forms. Hopefully, this would offer an explanation to some friends who have held it against me that I didn’t remember their birthday pre-1999.

It’s overwhelming sometimes when on your birthday you receive a barrage of e-mails, phone calls, text messages and cards from well wishers wishing you a Happy Birthday. Sometimes, your phone can’t even handle the traffic of text messages which are competing to be the first to register on your phone on your birthday. People stay awake and hold their fingers on their phones with their eyes on the clock waiting to press the “send” button at the click of 12 midnight just to wish you a Happy Birthday. I’m no exempt from this practise.

I marvel at the commitment of keeping someone in your thoughts so much that you stay awake to let them know how much they are in your thoughts on a day which you singled out. With modern technology, I realise that you don’t need to have someone in your thoughts to remember their birthday. You could program your phone, computer or PDA to remind you EVERY YEAR when it’s Ted’s birthday. That sort of diluted the “wow” feel when birthday messages are received these days. I will however be careful not to discount the commitments of people who genuinely keep you in their thoughts, not just on your birthday or a few weeks/days before your birthday but all year long.

Today, actually, starting from yesterday, I’ve received texts and e-mails from friends from across various geographical locations. I’ve also received quite a number of routine birthday messages and “look forward” to hearing form the individuals who sent them again, next year – yes next year; at least they obey their computers/Facebook prompts to communicate every 8th of March.

That raises the question about our motivation as individuals in our relationship with other people especially those that we call friends. Several years ago, circumstances of life compelled me to be at the mercy of a relative. Seven out of ten times when I showed up at his door, he put something in my pocket. Five years later on, I needed something more. As a growing boy, when I longed for someone to talk to; someone to share my worries, anxieties and concerns about life with, there was no one. The money in my pocket couldn’t meet this need. I felt a void which material things could not fill.

In spite of his “generosity”, I got to a point when I realised how vain money and material things can be in the whole scheme of things in life.

Someone gave me a card today which she suspected I may not like. But she was quick to add that “it’s the thought that counts” And I agree totally. I do not see the colour of the card or the funny cartoon at the back. I see the thoughts behind the card and that is what I appreciate. A group of work colleagues gave me a card with wordings which a number of them suspected may not go down well with my religious persuasion. But the card didn’t matter. I saw the handwritten words and the warm thoughts behind the words. That was all that mattered.

I have today been overwhelmed with Birthday wishes from friends and people that I call “pseudo friends”. However, I do not feel the birthday excitement that most people feel. The excitement that I felt 2, 3, 4, 5 years ago is not there. Rather, I am sober and I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on what relationship means to me. Is it all about remembering people’s birthdays and sending them a text message or e-mail once in a year? Is it about that once-in-a-year phone call? How do I initiate, establish, nourish and keep relationships with people? How do I make my presence in the life others count? How do I make myself more than a ninja figure in people’s life?

A genuine relationship should not be a “take and give” affair. I think if we can stay committed to our friends everyday with the same commitment that we remember their birthdays, it would go a long way. We might actually be the ones to benefit more from it! With relationships comes commitment, compromise and sacrifice

A few years ago, a random “I’ve called just to say hi” phone call saved a friend from what would have turned out to be loads of trouble. If we're surrounded by the right people, life can be so beautiful.

In 2006, a preacher called Dr. Albert Odulele visited my church during our annual convention. It is usually a three-day event. During one of the sessions, the man made a call to people who were thinking of caving in to the pressures of life or people who had at any point contemplated suicide to come out so that he would pray for them. I could not believe my eyes! The army of men that came out was unbelievable. One of the guys on the keyboard played with so much vigour and skill you would think he was on loan from heaven. I could not believe that a man with so much “anointing” could contemplate suicide! One of the tenor guys was so good ladies were asking for autographs. He was out as well. He needed help too! And I thought wait a minute, he’s got friends! He sings so well. So what is his problem? I was out too, wondering how I got to that stage. But then I realise that perhaps it is not enough to minister to only the physical needs of our friends. Material things will fade away and cease but relationships are enduring. Dr Albert could identify with these folks because he had been there himself. As a pastor, he had at a point in his life contemplated taking his own life!

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making my day such a special one today. But then, beyond the euphoria of the season, I’d like to leave you with the message that it is friends that could cover your “nakedness” the way no fabric will ever do.

Someone asked me how I spent my day today. Well, it’s been an unusually quiet one and I’ve been reflecting on the journey up till this spot and the journey ahead. I have taken stock and have been reassessing my life’s “business case” for the New Year. I’ve been reflecting on my many “narrow escapes” I’ve been reflecting on the journeys through the valleys of the shadow of ‘death’ I’ve been reflecting on those boys and girls in Darfur, in Iraq, Afghanistan. I think about those boys who wake up and sleep to the deafening and shattering sounds of rockets and machine guns. I think about those guys who go for their birthday shopping and never came back home. And down on my knees, I realised it could have been me…

Happy Buffday Oluwafemi

TO MAMA WITH LOVE

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 18:52:00 +0000

Although it's my birthday, I realise without her there would have been no me. I could have been flushed away. I could have been dumped by the roadside. I could have been stopped from 'staying'. When I caused so much trouble and cried for food, I could have been fed to death. This is for you mama...

In your arms you held me tenderly
Through the pains you gave me warmth and care
Hunger bites, I cried hopelessly
Your instincts and love answered my tears
Mama you knew what I needed and when

In your heart you guard me jealously
No, you’ll never see me whine
Strayed I from your teachings carelessly
Your wisdom corrects, you never mind
Mama, your love I can never buy

In your mouth you chewed me tenderly
My cross is your cross I never knew
When I burned my fingers awfully
You showed the way to start again anew
Mama you won’t sleep all for my sake

In your eyes you keep me carefully
I thought tis all for nine month’s sake
Mama it’s more than that I can’t reason it!
Esoteric is your love it adds no pain
You did it all that I might have a name

Mama you’re my treasure
My sunshine, my all…
My mama...

(c)Femi Olatunji, 2009

WHO LOOKS AFTER THE SPARROWS?

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 18:44:00 +0000

He cares about the sparrows...

Myriad of thoughts, not of today
Lined my mind in gaily array
Uncertainties of days afore
In this piece (of flesh), finds a store
Not so much of a thought
Are the armies I daily fought
Come to think of it, if I may ask
Who is it that cares for the sparrows?
This thought clears all fears of the morrow…

AMERICA'S DAY IN HISTORY

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 21:46:00 +0000

(Please click on the photo to listen to the inaugural speech)

Yesterday evening I went for a religious meeting. At the end of the meeting, which lasted nearly two hours (It was actually a gathering of a few to pray) after the benediction, as people were beginning to exchange pleasantries before departing for their respective houses, from the blues, the voice of one of the leaders rang in the background; “tomorrow is world changing day”. What is he talking about? I quickly ran though my calendar in my head in an attempt to remind myself of any special global event for the 20th of January which I may have forgotten. Nothing came to mind. As I joggled through my memory, he announced that Barack Obama is being inaugurated tomorrow (today) as the first black president of the United States and we should pray for him. As a typical African, the prayer would not commence without a prologue – a presentation of logical reasons why prayers for this man of history was crucial.

While in the car on our way back home, my lift was also all about this son of a Kenyan immigrant who has risen above all odds to become the most powerful man in today’s world. I was quick to remind her that Obama, will be sworn in not as president of Kenya, Nigeria or Ghana, but as president of the United States of America – the nation to which he primarily owes his total allegiance and loyalty.

As it often turns out when I speak with (most) Africans since the Obama race began, a subtle debate ensued and I thought in my mind, the world is missing the point. And if care is not taken, the world, the smae way they stood by Obama to victory may drive him to an embarrassing state of being sorry.

I hope someone would not get me wrong here. And I am careful not to create the impression that I do not wish the new US president well; my point is that I am really afraid for him. His rhetoric (like British journalists would say) and skin colour seem to be clouding people’s judgement of the real man whom I have no doubt has got what it takes to deliver.

In the media, almost every report on Barack Hussain Obama begins with or make reference to his "black" heritage - "the first US BLACK president”. It was only on BBC Radio 1 that I heard a slightly more modest description of him as “the first mixed race American president” Obama, just like any American sought the highest office in the US, he campaigned just like any other person had or would, he fought really hard and won a very well deserved victory. But I wonder why no one would speak of him and his historic feat without reference to his skin colour. It worries me that most Obama supporters, especially those of african descent do so because of racial and religious sentiments. The guy is good, full stop! Africa has not moved beyond where it is today because africans have allowed religious sentiments and tribalism to delude them for so long. It's time somebody woke up and see life beyond their doorsteps!

The above drives me to a conclusion; the world is still far from winning the war against racism. Until we get to a point where a man’s colour or gender do not bear any relevance to what we think of them in light of public service; when this has no basis in influencing our opinion about them, we still have a long way to go. Don't be deluded, as long as colour or race still matter in the way we see people, the world at large still remains to me, a haven of racism.

As I drove home from work today, I listened to the president's speech on radio. When I got home, I went online to check the transcript of the speech and lo, there's an avalanche of interesting comments about the speech. Below are selected comments from diverse fora on the speech. It took 27 years old Jon Favreau the last two months, working at about 16 hours a day to put this powerful speech together.

SELECTED INTERNET COMMENTS ON OBAMA'S SPEECH:

“The speech was inspiring and has challenged us all to unite in a comon cause - making America the country our forefathers faught for. Let's not let them down” Posted by:Linda Agnes

“Not as good as his audacity speech but clearly he doesn't have the expereince necessary to be truly great---three years as a Senator--perhaps his next speech will be better--when he learns what' he's doing. Maybe by that time, he'll start being called the President rather than the black President.” Posted by:Speak English

“He isn't any less experienced than President Clinton, or better yet more experiecned than Gov. Palin. If he were white would you feel different "Speak English" because your title alone bares your opinions. It is so much more than his being black that makes this a magnanamous event; Like President Obama said in his eloquent speech "That less than 60 years ago a black man could not walk into a resturant and not be served and now his son stands before you." Are one of the cynics that he spoke to? This was a powerful speech the President told the story from all points of view. God Bless you and yours and maybe one day your memory will extend pass the past.” Posted by:Sabrina_Palmer

“I loved President Obama's speech.....he spoke to everyone, not just one race or group of Americans. I did not vote for our newest President, but I am an optimist. With his election to the highest office in the land, I believe that this may be the final step to ending racism, oppression, affirmative action, etc., in our United States. This man is Anglo-American/African-American; a Christian with a Muslim background. Barrack Obama is, without a doubt, a 'melting pot' who will lead us, using the many facets of his own existence. Godspeed Mr. President!” Posted by:analisa41

“It was amazing. I felt so touched and I cried. My favorite: "To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." It opened my eyes and hopefully those all around the world to work and be there for one another, to not hold hatred within ourselves or within each other. Obama's speech enlightened the dark ways and lifted the spirits of the world for HOPE and CHANGE that anyone can fulfill the dreams for humanity. God Bless Obama, 44th and first African-American President of the United States. May our country and the other third-world support our Change. “ Posted by:BlissfulMirage

"I think Obama's speech contained truth and hope. He has a message for everyone including our enemies. I am proud this day and have great hope for a new future. I look forward to see how our nation responds and look forward to how I as a person can contribute to this great nation under God." Posted by:Darchamois

"His speech seems more to be directed at the rest of the world, rather than to americans themselves. The example set forth by the US in times past, and in the worst of times, seems to be the object of his statements. To recall that the best is in all of us and guidance is what is needed; guidance set by example instead of oppression, leadership delivered by action instead of force. The hopes of a better world once again are placed at America's feet by us all; let's hope if was deservedly done so" Posted by:Fabrizziov

“Enlightening speech for a Dark Age in humanity. May the United States and third world countries support the 44th President Barack Obama, the first African-American President in our times of new Hope and Change. The speech was so heartfelt and reflected every human being. Congratulations to the first step of change. Peace & Love to our President and country!” Posted by:BlissfulMirage

“To answer the question regarding 44 Americans having taken the oath of President. Grover Cleveland was the 22 and 24 president. Looks like President Barry Obama needs to do better research. It may be a mere detail to you but wouldn't it be nice to have the facts correct. After all he is going to fix all that is wrong with America. You want him to fix it correctly the first time don't you?” (I edited this comment. The original version contained some offensive language) Posted by:Nmbr1stlrsfn

“There have only been 43 unique presidents since Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms as the 22nd and 24th president.” Posted by:Maustin31

Cashflow 101

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:20:00 +0000

Recently, a friend, in an analytical tone asked me what I thought about the year 2008. I answered; “2008…That was one year too many” I believe most people would share my sentiment in this respect going by the myriad of record-breaking and history-making events that we witnessed.

America elected her first afro-American president in a landslide election victory. Indeed that was a “Change” in America even if the anticipated change does not manifest eventually. The turn out at the election that secured the ticket for America’s first black president into the white house was unprecedented in history.

Zimbabwe’s controversial election and her 85 year old leader’s obsession with power certainly cannot be shoved aside by political observers. I was stunned to the bones when I watched Robert Mugabe declare to the whole world on CNN that Zimbabwe belongs to him! Well, you may say "what fallacy!" Another fascinating event in 2008 was a confirmation of the truism that “falsehood may run for years, certainly the truth will catch up with it one day”: John Darwin, the canoe man who faked his own death and orchestrated his incarceration after years of lies to the world and his two sons cannot but make this saying more true.

2008 was a roller-coaster year I’d add. There were so many surprises here and there. The rate at which events unfolded was unbelievable! Finally, a curtain was drawn over the princess Diana death inquiry even though Harrods’ owner, Mohammed Al-Fayed differed with the jury’s verdict.

It started as a rumour, and then it gained more attention. This is arguably one of the most shocking events of our time; the event that shook the world economic powers right to their foundations. And the world is still counting the casualties of this event which has earned itself a name that causes even financial doyens to bow -“The Credit Crunch”. That is a phrase that sends shivers down the spine of even the most astute financial managers of our time. What some may have initially thought was “the business/problems of the Americans” turned out to be the problem of the whole world. I guess many until now still grapple with the fact that when America sneezes, the whole world would catch cold. In spite of governments’ desperate moves to contain the situation, it was still gloom and doom in the news almost on an hour-by-hour basis for the better part of 2008.

The effects of Credit Crunch, I bet will remain indelible in many families globally. Even the “Credit Crunch-immune” Nigerian economy (as initially boasted by her Central Bank governor, Prof. Charles Soludo) felt and still feels the pinch. Stock markets are crashing. House prices are falling. Redundancies are on the rise - jobs are being lost. People lived and still live in fear of the unknown with increased sense of insecurity in their jobs. The giants are indeed fallen and are still falling.

Thanks to Israel’s last minute invasion of Gaza which in the past week or so has dominated the news, Credit Crunch seems to have receded to the background in the news. But earlier forecasts for 2009 before the curtain was pulled over 2008 were not the least encouraging. We have heard carious analysts predict that the worst is yet to come. It therefore becomes important for everyone to guard their wallets with all diligence and ensure that measures are put in place to prevent their fountain of wealth from drying in 2009.

At the moment, short term measures are needed to contain the situation and to survive it. However, these short term measures would enable individuals and corporate bodies to take more enduring steps to hedge against future economic shockers such as this. The good news is that tough times do not last; Infact, history has proved that it is tough people that do. Economists propound that economic events are cyclical which means that this time won’t last forever. However, while the situation continues, not everyone would survive the crunch. In the short term, what really matters is survival. And what would you do to survive? Here’s a tip:

9 to 5 or 8 to 4 may not be the answer at this crucial time in human history. I said in one of my postings last year that in the light of the current economic situation, it is not the hard workers that’d stand out (I’m not against hard work by the way, it has its own purpose and advantages), but the smart workers. One way to demonstrate smart-working is by creating alternative source(s) of income at this crucial time. That would not only help beat the crunch, it can become en during financial lifeline for you.

The day after Boxing Day, I played a game (the first time I heard about and played this particular game) called “the game of life” with my friends whom I visited and it blew my mind. Although I had read the book (Rich Dad Poor Dad) authored by the designer of the game (Cashflow 101), the reality of the wealth of knowledge in the book didn’t hit me as clearly as when I played Cashflow 101. That was when I realised that your profession or how much you physically have in your bank account does not actually determine whether you are or would be rich. Your attitude and the decisions you make in life hold the key to where you belong on the wealth ladder. To enter the league of the rich, two things are very crucial; (1) Your Cashflow and (2) Your Passive Income. You generate “passive income” when through your attitude and investment decisions, you get your money working for you and not the other way round.

I learned in this game that delayed gratification is one of the keys to getting rich. You may belong to the class of people who work hard to earn so much and wait several years to save money for your dream holiday or to buy your dream car. You save for this “luxury” so that you won’t incur any debt – fair enough, good thinking. What if you wait for say one or two more years and get this money to pay for the so-called luxury! It’s like eating your cake and still having it isn’t it? There’s no better time to grab opportunities as when there’s anxiety in the market and people are cautious about taking risks, if you can take calculated risks. I also learned that calculated risks means knowing when to hold on, when to fold up, when to walk away from a deal and when to cash in on an opportunity. It is also very crucial to keep up to date with happenings in the market and on the global scene.

Unless your monthly passive income exceeds your expenses, you are still in the Rat Race my friend.

What is the implication of getting out of the Rat Race? It means that your monthly passive income exceeds your monthly expenses, which in turn means that you do not have to work at all! Your money is doing all the work for you and your assets are actually paying for your expenses and liabilities.

Take your destiny in your hands. You will wait forever if you wait for the government to change your world. You can choose to stay in your comfort zone or dare t stand out. The choice is yours.

I wish you a fear-free 2009, friends.

A Birthday poem for Daddy...

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 21:49:00 +0000

I haven’t done rhymes in a while
But thoughts of you strikes a chord
I can’t suppress it though I try
Memories, they rush on like a flood
Not again! My heart says to my eyes

I’ll sing you a song from my heart
A chorister I know I never was
My inspiration, my song, you are
You gave me what I’ll never lose
An identity; the faith to go on

One, two, three years; I count up to eighteen
That little boy is now a man
You’d be so proud to see this thing
Though far away, you linger near
This day, long ago you were born
To my best friend, Happy Birthday

No doubt, you find your sleep restful
We hurry not; we shall see you once again
My love for you, it’s so deep
Happy Birthday dad…
To you, my ode

The Colours of Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 12:02:00 +0000

It’s six days before Christmas today. As a little boy, I used to think that grown-ups don’t get excited about Christmas, especially parents because that (I believed in my childish mind) was the time of the year when they parted with most money from their accounts buying presents for people and stocking the house. Our neighbour, papa Gladys (Not real name) further confirmed my theory because I believed Christmas was his worst time of the year. He beat his children more and quarrelled more with his wife and neighbours during Christmas.

Although everyday was like Christmas in our home, as a child, I remember my sisters and I still looked forward to that special day because Christmas day just felt “different”. This later changed, as Christmas became more of an event in our home unlike before, when it was more of our family lifestyle. It became a one-day “special” event in the year. Ironically, that sort of made it more special because we looked forward to it in more anticipation. Our parents obviously felt the change but we just carried on with life even as we had more gaps to be filled as days passed by. Christmas then became the time of the year when we got our new shoes and clothes for the year. It became the only time when you didn’t have to share meat with your siblings; It became about the only day when we ate in different plates and you could ask for more, more than once.

Looking back, Christmas has evolved quite dramatically in my eyes. I’ve been through a phase when it didn’t really mean much to me anymore. Some of these times, I slept for the whole day without much interest in what becomes of me the next hour. It was just too much to take that it didn’t matter anymore. Afterall, life is not fair. I remember seven years ago, in my final year at the University when I was doing my project. I woke up on Christmas day; it was a cold harmattan Tuesday morning. The previous night had not been any better and all I had to my name was a miserable One naira coin covered in dust on my windowsill. After a traumatic night, with all my roommates gone on holiday, the only thing that came to my mind was the nightmare I had and my father – my father, because it was his birthday and I was still thinking about the poem I was going to write for him in my head.

Hot tears stung and gently flowed through the corners of my eyes – freely. There was no reason to hold back – I was the only one in the room. I felt all alone not because I was the only one in the room and I guess the entire hall of residence - there were probably a handful of others whom I can’t recall ever meeting on the walkway throughout my Christmas “retreat” that year but it was more of a deeper loneliness. No one seemed to know where I was or what was happening to me and I doubt if it bothered any of my kins. Much more, I would have loved to be with them or at least have an idea of how they were spending the day. I ransacked my cupboard and there was not even a grain of garri to start the day. I was lucky in my first year; my first Christmas at the university to have garri and K-K to start my Christmas morning and that took me for the rest of the day. Subsequent years were a lot “better” until this one.

Thank goodness, I still had soap and body lotion and the university water supply was running. I took a bath amidst pungent ammonia fumes – the bathroom cleaners were on holiday; I dressed up, picked my project file and made for my project lab. I had a stock of sugar and zobo leaves (my research materials). I made a hot pot of zobo. The hunger was biting so much I couldn’t wait for the drink to cool before drinking. I sipped the drink, fanning through my tongue and teeth and before I knew it, I had downed a pot of zobo. If you’re wondering how a drink (zobo of all drinks) could quench hunger, then I’d tell you that my life depended on it at that moment. My brain, needed sugar desperately. Somehow, I saw that my fate lay in what I made out of that phase that I was going through. The zobo could only sustain me for a few hours before I became weak again. My body needed nourishment. I needed FOOD. I was starving on Christmas day. The only company I had was the sounds of birds and other strange creatures in the forest that housed my university campus. Fat rats and heavy lizards merried around. You could tell they were in great mood for the season and I could only wish that I’d hear a voice that would say to me “Son of man, take and eat” – like it happened to one of bible heroes.

Later in the evening, an angel visited me - all the way from a town call Fate (pronounced far-tey) in Ilorin. She brought me a flask of very rich Christmas rice with chicken. Although I acted up as if it was “normal”, I knew in my heart that this angel had indeed strengthened a feeble knee. Where the next meal would come from was not enough a thought. I needed to take care of the now and think about the later, later.

That was seven years ago.

December 2004 (three years later), I gave a family 50kg of rice, a gallon of vegetable oil and a live chicken as Christmas gift – they are not even my relatives. Yesterday I began a nearly 1000 miles drive across five different cities to spend time with friends over the Christmas. I can look back and say truly something has happened, I have moved on and the past is nothing but the past. It’s gone and gone forever.

Three days ago, like I do every year, I gave colleagues in my office Christmas cards and in each person’s card, I wrote a few words as inspired. They all appreciated the gesture as most of them told me that it was actually the first Christmas card they’d received in the year. Everyone displayed their cards on their desks. A visitor from another department walked in and picked one of the cards on the desk she was visiting. She saw my name at the bottom and looked at me in surprise. What is the matter? “Femi, your handwriting is too neat – for a man!”

I’ve never considered my handwriting to be one of the neatest – though my cousin once teased me a few years ago when I was writing job applications that if applicants’ handwriting was a criterion for being considered for a job, I would get a job before anyone else in the “labour market”. Without being a sexist, Jane did not expect men to have neat handwritings. That was her opinion about men.

I’ve found that in life, our opinions are shaped, among other reasons, by our experience. This in turn drives the way we see and relate with people and sometimes ourselves. In fact, the way we see others is a reflection of the way we see ourselves. I’ve also found that more often than not, as humans we have the tendency to allow people’s opinions shape our lives and our belief. Our beliefs shape our morals; our morals shape our attitudes; our attitude shapes our actions and our actions shapes our destiny.

I remember the story of a young man who had 78 percentile in his SAT exam. He was one of the brightest in his college. But after his first semester at the university, his performance went rock bottom. He had an awful mixture of Ds and Es. The second semester was not any better as his performance got worse. His puzzled tutor then arranged a review session with him in order to find out what the problem was. Going by his SAT result, Tom ought to be among the top 5 in his class as a freshman but he was in the bottom 5 instead. Trying to justify his failure, Tom explained to his tutor that he couldn’t perform better because he only had 78% IQ (Intelligence quotient) while the course he was doing required him to have 85% IQ. Someone had wrongly informed him. He had been told that his SAT result was a measure of his IQ. His confounded tutor then explained to him that his SAT result meant that he had performed better than 78% of the pupils who took the test at the same time as him. The results after this counselling session? Your guess is good as mine. Our friend rose from the bottom to the top where he rightfully belonged.

The moral of this story is that he allowed what he heard to determine his fate – in either situation. Sometimes, it is not just what we hear; the things that we see and pay attention to also influence our destiny. This is why the media is a very powerful tool. Business executives utilise the power of the media to create a social culture and drive the market in the direction they want. Sometimes, the information being presented could not be farther from the real truth behind a product or service. They influence our perception and therefore, our reaction to help them achieve their business goals.

Christmas, I believe is a period to recap the year and more importantly, to celebrate. But can you imagine if we lived everyday as if it was Christmas. Enjoy life, have fun to the max but live today as if it is your last. Make maximum impact and never miss the lessons of yesterday’s mistakes. Above all, remember, you are the master of your own fate, the captain of your own life. If at any point in life, you’re fortunate to be corrected for a mistake you made, take it positively, make the necessary corrections and move on. If you’re being congratulated, take it as a challenge to improve. And if you feel like nothing is happening the way you’d have loved it to happen, look into the big picture and take a gaze into the future. Imagine what would happen if you quit and also what would happen if you carried on. I would rather die trying than die a quitter.

I wish you a Merry Christmas my friends. May the year ahead bring us all good tidings.

Cherio!

HIV?.....Nah!.......Gimme HI's with no V's!

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:28:00 +0000

6:10 p.m...

It's a Wednesday and I just returned from work. As usual, I turned on my computer and opened my electronic mail box, eagerly looking out for a particular mail. Then I saw this Facebook notification of a message from a very good friend - D'Gbnoj. D'Gbonj and I have been good friends since our 100L days. I still remember the first time we spoke - it was in the famous LT3 at the University dubbed "better by far" - She was wearing a fanciful wristwatch, I called it wrist-clock. I guess she was surprised, she asked where I'm from.

I've always known D'Gbonj as a doctor and a showbiz enthusiast; you can tell by her nickname (She's on the intern by the way...). Apart from her love for psychiatric medicine and showbiz, I didn't realise her writing prowess until yesterday. When she hit the face of Facebook with yet another inspiring write-up today, I couldn't help asking for her permission to publish her notes in my blog. I would like to share this piece with you all and hopefully the one she wrote on people with disability in the next few days.

"Unlike everyone else that had stepped into the ER that day,he looked really different.Calm,calculated,unaided,distant,yet interested.Accompanied by his mom,probably the only one that still cared.He was only 17,but old enough to communicate with me.I asked for his name and documented it.I asked for his religion and he told me he was both (christian and moslem!)A double dose,i can only just imagine.This was of course a glimpse of what was yet in store.His problem?he was beginning to show symptoms and signs of an ADC(AIDS dementia complex).Just 17,not just HIV, but AIDS.I couldn't help but wonder.It all started when he was 12,had taken ill and was taken to a hospital where he was unfortunately transfused with HIV-infected blood.PLS! don't put the blame on me.And since then,that had been his cross.He had been stable on ARV's(antiretrovirals)then stopped just because he felt like it.But then i encouraged him to use his meds,because i needed that bright young man alive and well too!We have been friends since then.He could have contacted it via any other means;Unprotected sexual intercourse,sharing of infected needles,.........But this was how.We probably have all been exposed in one or more ways.Its December 1st, another world AIDS day.This year's theme is :Leadership.......Stop AIDS,keep the promise!The best you can do is to know your status today.Let's abstain,Lets play safe,Let's show love and support to people living with HIV and AIDS (PLWHA),Let's educate,Let's reduce the stigma associated with the condition.Let's dedicate our profile picture to the red ribbon(pls copy from my page.i did same from Wobo!)As for me,i'm getting HI'S with no V'S!and m urging you to give and take same.I am repping the day all the way!I am doing all i can to reduce the incidence and the scourge associated with the condition.I will even dress up in red(nah) more like wear my red hand band...wait a minute,where is it?............Hey black boi.......hand back my hand band!"

Credit: Dr. Gbonjubola Babalola (a.k.a D'Gbonj)

The Significance of Obama’s Election to Nigeria (II)

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:21:00 +0000

Indeed, no drama, in consonance with Obama’s supplemented theme for his campaign of Change and Hope. One can only best quote Robin Renee Sanders, (black) Ambassador of the US to Nigeria, when in a November 4 press release, she wrote in Abuja that:

QUOTE: Democracy works for the people. A democratic system ensures our governments serve us. Democracy educates our children, cares for our sick, and ensures the common wealth and security of our nations. Democracy works because it gives ordinary citizens control over their government through the power of their vote. As a citizen, casting your vote serves as your voice on issues and policies important to you. American’s democracy reflects our own unique history and traditions, as it does in other democracies around the world. In Nigeria too, democracy should respect the traditions of the Nigerian people, while honoring and reflecting the will of the Nigerian people through free, fair, transparent and orderly elections which allow for the peaceful transition from one elected government to the next. All democracies, however, should rest on key fundamental principles which most notably are freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and freedom of assembly.

Well functioning democracies share common characteristics: free and fair elections, respect for the rule of law, open and transparent institutions of government, and effective measures to combat public and private corruption and illicit enrichment by any member of government. Those in the past who have done so should face the rule of law. Strong democracies meet the needs of their people. They invest in their people through education and health care; they ensure economic opportunity for all; and they create an environment of peace and security in which each individual can thrive. UNQUOTE

Enough said.

THE ETHNIC DIMENSION
There are four ethnic groups in America’s social fabric – White, Black, Hispanic/Latino and All Others (which include Asian and Native American populations). According to the Census Bureau, in 2000 (the last census), Whites constitute 69.1%, Blacks 12.1%, Hispanic/Latino 12.5% and All Others 6.3%. The percentage of the White Majority, particularly of the voting electorate, has been decreasing over the years. Obama’s winning coalition therefore had to cut across all ethnic groups, and particularly the young White folks many of who were voting for the first time, and do not have the ethnic inhibitions of their older generation. The Obama-Biden team was so vastly superior to the McCain-Palin team that the United States would have earned global opprobrium if Obama had lost, for it would have been assigned to simple racism.

While at one level, there are as many as 378 ethno-linguistic groupings in Nigeria, there are also four ethnic groupings – Hausa-Fulani (29%) , Yoruba (21%), Igbo (18%), and Ethnic Minorities (32%, comprised of Ijaw, Kanuri, Ibibio, Tiv, etc ). The absence of an outrightly dominating ethnic group, the sheer size of the so-called ethnic minorities, and the geographical, cultural and religious identifications of the various groups, the lack of political-party ideologies - as well as historical and colonial legacies - clearly complicate Nigeria’s political life more than that of the USA. Nevertheless, the emergence of an ethnic minority such as Obama in a truly federal system such as the United States is a good harbinger for Nigeria and many countries in Africa – such as his own native Kenya where a winning Luo was recently denied the presidency through a stolen election - if the proper lessons can be learnt.

WHAT OBAMA’S ELECTION IS NOT TO NIGERIA AND AFRICA
Finally, Obama as president of the United States of America beginning January 20, 2008, will become arguably the most POWERFUL Black Man ever in the history of the world, as Prof. Ali Mazrui succinctly put it in a recent interview, atop the most powerful country economically and defense-wise. However, he will still just be president of the US, not of Nigeria, not of Africa, and not of the world, and his primary constituency will still be those who voted for him. Nevertheless, while there are members of the Nigerian and African Diaspora who are tax-paying citizens of the US and daily contribute to its ecumene, it will remain incumbent upon us to ensure that American foreign policy towards Africa in trade, aid, immigration and other matters becomes more enlightened and mutually beneficial, and that Obama use his good offices to be a bully pulpit to the political leaders of the continent of his father to stop their rapacious attitudes and tend more to the developmental needs of their people. So it is not yet Uhuru, but we may be closer with the election of Obama.

The Significance of Obama’s Election to Nigeria and its diaspora

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:01:00 +0000

INTRODUCTION

On November 4, 2008, a remarkable event occurred in the United States of America: a Kenyan-African-American named Barack Hussein Obama, aged 47, Federal Senator from the State of Illinois, was elected to be the 44th President of the USA in its 56th presidential election since George Washington was first elected in 1789. He is the first African-American so honored, and the second Illinois legislator ever to be elected president [after Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865)].

This was a keenly-fought contest against white Senator John McCain from Arizona, war hero with a military family pedigree. Needing only 270 Electoral Votes to clinch the position, the result was a big national mandate for Obama: 64,975,682 million popular votes (or 53%) and 364 Electoral Votes for Obama to 57,118,380 million (46%) popular votes and 174 Electoral Votes for McCain. The Democratic candidate Obama won the highest votes EVER recorded by ANY president of the United States, winning in states like Virginia, North Carolina, Indiana, Colorado and Nevada that were considered too Republican for a generation now to attempt a win. He competed well in many other states even where he lost the popular vote, winning almost every demographic imaginable. To this writer, a Nigerian immigrant with five children all born in the United State, who has lived in the United States continuously since December 1978, who has now witnessed the last eight US presidential contests, who voted in last four of them, who actively participated in some little way in this year’s contest, and teaches in a historically black college (Howard University) right in the heart of the nation’s capital where one almost sees the Capitol and the White House on a daily basis, the outcome is of immense socio-cultural and political implications, both to Nigerian/African immigrants as well as to Nigeria/Africa.

OUR CHILDREN CAN ASPIRE WITHOUT NAME AMPUTATION OR ABANDONMENT...

Raised by his white mother and grandparents, and for a time living with an Asian step-father, Barack’s life trajectory is a remarkable one. His Black father may not have been with him all his life, but he (Obama Junior) knew where his father was from (Kenya), even his ethnic group (Luo) and visited with his extended family in Kenya. Yet he was American enough to love his country of birth, participate fully as a citizen and now attain its presidency WITHOUT changing his name to fit the majority White-Anglo-Saxon orthodoxy. Although he went by “Barry” for a while, a cultural epiphany made him to change back to his original “Barack” (for “thunder” in Hebrew but “blessed one” in Arabic/Swahili) – not “That One” as he recently joked in backhand reference to .

Obama joked throughout his campaign that whoever gave him his names obviously never thought that he should aspire to become the president of the United States of America. But we can all look at him now, and tell our children born in the US that provided you live a clean life, go to the best schools that you possibly can, do the best in school that you possibly can, even possibly become a mere community organizer somewhere before beginning your political career ANYWHERE in the United States – and along the way possibly marry a beautiful or handsome African(-America) spouse and loving partner - you too can become a legislator (state or federal), a governor of a state – or the President of the United States of America, WITHOUT amputating your family-given first and/or last name out of recognition.

OUR COUNTRY CAN LEARN (ONCE AGAIN) FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS OF FREE, FAIR AND CREDIBLE ELECTIONS…

Participatory democracy is a desideratum for any country that wishes to develop socially and politically, and free, fair and periodic elections are a grund-norm for such a democracy. Although the United States unilaterally declared its Independence from Great Britain in July 1776, it did not become an operational (con)federal government with a ratified Constitution until March/April 1789, whereupon it elected its first president in George Washington who took office on April 30, 1789.

There have been periodic four-year terms for the presidents ever since each begun with an election - exactly fifty-six of them including Barak Obama’s. Ever since, no military coups, nothing…..unlike Nigeria where we have had more than dozen successful and failed coup attempts since Independence in 1960. One sincerely hopes that one has seen the last of military coups in Nigeria – the last successful one against an elected government was against President Shehu Shagari by Mohammed Buhari in December 1983, and the last successful one against a military regime was against Buhari himself by Ibrahim Babangida in August 1985. [Abacha’s coup of sorts of November 1993 was against a transition civilian government of Shonekan following the annulment of the June 12, 1993 election.] In Obama’s election, no election-related violence, nothing…in eighteen months of a tough primary contest within each of the two main parties (Democrats and Republicans), and about four months of the general contest between Obama and McCain, to the best of the knowledge of this author, no one was knifed or gunned to death specifically over the campaign. Even the hint of an assassination attempt against Obama by a deranged pair of Neo-Nazis was quickly squelched.

In Obama’s election, no rigging, nothing…..For the first time, as many as thirty-four states out of the fifty and the District of Columbia in the US permitted early voting (distinct from absentee voting) in this year’s presidential election, with 31.7 million people out of the total of 124 million people that voted. There were fifteen candidates by the way, not just Obama and McCain. The various states had various closing times since America has different time zones, with each STATE secretary being in charge of their elections – no central INEC, no Maurice Iwu. By 10 pm EST, on November 4 election day proper, the election had been called by the TV networks; within an hour, Senator John McCain had conceded and sent his congratulatory message; soon after Senator Barack Obama had given his victory speech; and to cap it off, President Bush also sent his congratulatory message and pledge to ensure a smooth transition between now and Inauguration Day January 20, 2009.

To be continued...

Author: Mobolaji E. Aluko, PhD

Money!

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:17:00 +0000

Money you are a bat
The pilot of all good and bad
To love you is evil, to hate you penury
Sure, man cannot avoid you
I pity him whom you drive
He who has no grip on you
His wife sure is another man’s
On his chicks, let him sign a waiver
Let him learn in society
To maintain the golden rule of silence
Because no good idea can ever
From a poverty-soaked mouth emanate
Let him not at all worry
His peers who for this bird called money
Have found a cage will unbiased decide
What daily of him becomes
And as far as he can gather enough strength
To cheerfully hail, “baba o!”
Why, the crumbs is sure.

(c)Femi Olatunji 2004

Note: Use of this work without permission from the original owner is a violation of copyright law

Yes YOU Can!

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:23:00 +0000

Success they say has many kinsmen. I daresay success is a relative word and apart from mere identifying with the electoral success of America's 44th president, the first African American to be nominated for President by a major U.S. political party, the first black occupier of the white house, I would like to dwell more on a very important issue which most black boys may be missing out. There's a leaf that needs to be borrowed from this man of history (I hope the leaf goes round. Lol!) I was just wondering if african boys and progressives saw the qualities, values and success nuggets which this great man has exuded - the result of which has re-written the history of America and world politics. I wonder if the brightest of prophets in Nyanza provice in far away Nyang'oma Kogelo ever dreamt that such a phenomenon could come out of their loins. I guess they never saw or imagined this star lingered in their sky.

Riding on my line of thought above, I refuse to subscribe to the sentiment of most people of colour who wanted Obama as America's president on the basis of his skin colour. Just like most people around the world, I was discussing and analysing Mr Obama's electoral success with a dear friend earlier today and as is characteristic of him, he made a comment which I think should be a food for thought for every young black guy (and anyone who aspires to achieve greatness in any area in life). The UK government statistics indicates that black boys are more ill-behaved and violent compared to their white counterparts in the UK. And that is because they lack role models.

According to my friend this afternoon, "...apart from the campaign strategies and politicking behind obama's victory as president-elect of the United States, the important lesson to learn from this experience is that this young man could only contemplate the highly exalted office because he discovered himself and (my own addition) did not limit his vision..." He got so much support from the people because he was clear about his vision and he communicated it very clearly to Americans and the whole world. Mr Obama had obvious limitations and more than enough reasons to stop him from even contemplating a senatorial seat in his Illinois not to talk os the US number one seat and arguably most difficult office in the world. But his ability to see beyond these barriers was what I believe, fuelled his passion, enthusiasm and resilience in the last 21 months and this same spirit I have no doubt, is able to see him through the most challenging experience of his life which he is about to embark on in the next 77 days.

To put Obama's clarity of vision in undertaking this mission in perspective, please read the transcript of his "Victory speech" delivered on Wednesday 05 November 2005, 05:24 GMT below;

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference. It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day. It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America. I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead. I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure. To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done. But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to – it belongs to you. I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington – it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there. There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand. What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers – in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope. For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow. This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old. She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can. At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can. When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can. When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can. She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can. A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Nuggets for financial wisdom (II)

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:33:00 +0000

4. There are more fools among buyers than sellers: This old French proverb is based on a simple imbalance of knowledge. The trading of money and goods may seem simple, but the seller of the goods usually knows pretty much all there is to know about the object or asset he is parting with. The buyer usually knows less.

Anyone who's ever sold a car or house (or a with-profits endowment policy for that matter) knows it's relatively easy to conceal a fault from the average buyer. But money, at least outside hyperinflationary economies like Zimbabwe, is of a known and certain worth.

Of course, there are exceptions. Those who sell profitable shares too soon, only to see the price race away, can certainly be called foolish. Yet there are probably fewer of them than those who bought a share just before a profit warning.

5. The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago...the second best time is now: A twig or sapling never looks very impressive in its first year or two and neither do most investments or savings accounts. However, look at a tree after 20 years and it's already impressive. If you don't plant your acorns now, you're never going to get that mighty oak.

6. Hollow vessels make the greatest sound: The contrarian investor will recognise this one. It brings to mind the much hyped revolutionary products that fail to turn a profit, the fanfared stock market debuts that turn to disaster, and the companies with sky-high price earnings ratios which are never off the news pages, but never make a dime. Which, then, are the real investment success stories? The unsung and often unloved companies in dull businesses.

Take a classic case: Associated British Ports was privatised on Valentine's Day 1983. Margaret Thatcher thought it a strike-ridden industrial backwater compared to supposedly exciting companies like British Airways. So ABP was almost given away. Yet by the time ABP was taken over in 2006, it had returned (with dividends reinvested) more than £100 for every £1 invested by buyers.

BA, by contrast, has returned about £3 for every one over a similar period - and that's without mentioning the Terminal 5 luggage disaster.

7. A rising tide buoys all boats: In strong stock markets even bad shares rise, while in weak ones, even the best may weaken. In short, you can't tell the good from the bad when the market is in an extreme mood. As legendary investor Warren Buffett said: "Price is what you pay, value is what you get."

8. If no-one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor: Neil Simon's witticism has many applications. However, the Byzantine complexity and risk structure of the credit markets look unlikely to have anything like the longevity of the renaissance masterpiece. So, don't look around 100 years from now for any monuments to the banking creativity we've seen in the last year or two.

Nuggets for financial wisdom

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 22:00:00 +0000

Keen observers of the international scenes in the world of finance would agree with me that these are not the best of times (if all we see, experience and hear in the news are anything to go by). Despite frantic efforts by leaders of leading economic nations to re-instate public confidence in the governments and hitherto dying financial institutions, the public seems more skeptic about government assurances now than ever. These are the days when you see stakeholders sweating in winter as they listened to the news and read their balance sheets. Even if you did not care about what happens in China in the past, you care so much now because it’s a global malady and nobody seems to be immune from it.

The news sometimes may have been exaggerated but the fact is that the main truths are real. In the midst of this financial crisis, I think one needs to learn some financial wisdom at least to keep afloat if you can’t swim. I find this article quite useful and I believe it would inspire you as well. It was written by Nick Louth on 02 April 2008.

There's plenty of folk wisdom knocking around about money, debt and savings. A lot of the advice is hundreds of years old, but is none the worse for that. After all, those sayings that have survived must have some kernel of truth.

Common sense though, is a commodity in short-supply right now, with a global banking industry that has tied itself in knots by loading up on complex securities, secured on the flimsy mortgage payment promises of America's worst credit risks.
Perhaps, then, we should turn to our forebears and some of history's greats for a little more insight into what really we should be doing with our money.

1. Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves:
You can't fault this one. The surprising thing is how quickly those savings add up, once you invest them. Just 10p a day, the cost of one text message, is worth £36.50 a year, even without any interest. Invested over the course of a lifetime, that 10p a day would be worth nearly £32,000 by the age of 60, based on typical stock market returns.

2. Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry:
In Shakespeare's time they knew as much about the problems of debt as we do today, but this phrase, given to Polonius in Hamlet is more nuanced. The obligations created by lending strain relationships in both directions, disrupting the equality of friendship.

The American radio firm Clear Channel Communications must know exactly what Shakespeare was saying. It went to court in Texas this week and won a ruling that the banks which had committed to funding its $19 billion buyout cannot now withdraw the funds just because the wider debt market is shaky. Presumably there won't be too many friendly handshakes now between the firm and its reluctant lenders.

3. A stitch in time saves nine: For cutting stock market losses, this is the perfect piece of wisdom. Act quickly and decisively when your investment is looking threadbare. Don't wait until the whole thing starts to fall apart.

To be continued...

HOW TO DEAL WITH BEREAVEMENT - CONCLUSION

noreply@blogger.com (Femfem!) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:07:00 +0000

MOVING ON
Moving on may be a bit difficult. Sometimes it seems impossible but with God (if you believe in Him), there’s actually no such word as impossible. The easiest way to get yourself moving on is when you build up your faith and have it at the back of your mind that there is no temptation that has befallen you that is not common to man. Also, remember God’s word at all times that all things work together for our good because we love God. Remember God as the father of all comfort. Always ask the Holy Spirit, the comforter to help you when memories of the deceased makes you feel low.

Get yourself active. Occupy yourself at home, school, church or work. Always count your blessings. Try to see the ways God has turned that experience into an advantage for you. Never feel disadvantaged because the support you once had is now gone. Take responsibility for your life and learn from people. Realise that it is important for you to move on because your own destiny lies in your hands and not in the hands of your parents! They can only offer guidance but you have to make it happen whether or not they offer this guidance...