http://answers.sikhnet.comSikh Community Question and Answer forum covering all topics related to Sikhism.enSun, 27 May 2012 13:12:39 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/172/searching-ultimate-soul-mate-and-to-have-aI am 27 years old girl, I have been in a relationship twice but none of them worked out as a result I have been through a lot of depression, I feel I have lost everything in life. I want if there is any path which can help me have a very nice and capable husband who could be my soul mate and can take good care of me and my family . I want happiness in my married life in future. To have a good husband and inlaw family so that peace of mind prevails. please help. I feel my life has just stopped.gursikhSun, 27 May 2012 13:12:39 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/172/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/168/52-hukam-of-guru-gobind-singh-ji-maharaj-jiHave been reading about the 52 Hukam Of Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj Ji! i dont quite understand the below one. maybe its not translated correctly? can you please explain this further?> **45) Putari da dhan bikh jananaa - Recognize the property of a daughter as poison?** thanking you in advance taj kaurThu, 24 May 2012 07:10:20 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/168/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/167/sikhism-exclusivity-and-reincarnationHi, Please provide a perspective on this thought of mine that has been been swirling in my mind. We believe in reincarnation - it's central to providing perspective on why we are here and the circumstances we find ourselves within. Our karma - good and bad - are the coordinates that have plotted our place in this world. Our behaviour in terms of good and bad deeds together with our devotion to God alongside God's mercy decides how we progress while on Earth. We don't believe in exclusivity of religion - many pathways (religions) lead to the Universal Creator. Islam and Christianity do not believe in reincarnation - I'm having trouble reconciling this in how we should process this. Do we simply make do with saying, it is irrelevant whether they believe in reincarnation or not, it remains a pathway to God and that is all that matters? I suppose it means that a Muslim or a Christian doesn't look at karma of past lives to help them account for this circumstance of life. We share entirely different perspectives and live according to what our faith dictates in understanding why we are present in the form of life that we are in. We don't believe in exclusivity but we instead preach tolerance of differing standpoints even though they are completely at odds with our teaching from the SGGS which we consider to be the true word of God.... A verbose response would be appreciated :)thesentry01Wed, 23 May 2012 09:52:38 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/167/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/162/will-sikh-survivenow days i have noticed a big new trend in our sikh society , our educated boys are not getting match for there marriage , as every single sikh girl prefer clean shaven over a sikh supporting beard and turbone , now these particular cases are high where the parents and the brothers of these girls are maintaing tere hairs properly , and about sikh girls in whose family ppl don't support the idea of sikh maryada of supporting beard and turbone for them we don't need to raise such a question , thing here i am not discussing about the girls going stray , what i want to bring to the notice of my sikh ppl is that "end of sikh" will be by own "kaurs" or say daughters , we cannot force them to like our sikh boys , but then what sikh will do to run his race , and let me tell u my frnz , just ask our own daughters at our home whom they want to marry if given a choice , she will be happy to go with a clean shave , then all my dear parents and my brothers who support the views of Guru Gobind Singh Jee , will have no good educated match to get there kid or them self settled respectively j j singhSat, 19 May 2012 02:50:32 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/162/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/159/aliens-and-reincarnation1)I know it sounds silly, but since we believe in a limitless universe i assume that aliens are a possibility so how can we know we won't come back as some alien species on another planet instead of the 8.4 million or so here on earth. 2)also i posted a question about gender and reincarnation and I got a response saying that we are born into the gender in which we can best pay our karmas, so does that mean we have no control over gender or *ARE WE MAYBE MORE LIKELY TO BE BORN AS THE SAME GENDER OR ONE PARTICULAR GENDER OVER THE OTHER?*GSinghThu, 17 May 2012 02:32:04 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/159/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/145/achieving-liberation1)Can we reach god by doing seva and simrim as well as our daily prayers without any readings of bani or reading the Sri Guru Granth Sahab. 2)Also is it okay to do our prayers in englishGSinghWed, 09 May 2012 01:10:10 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/145/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/44/relationshipWJKWJF I am a 25 year old girl, I was in a relationship since last 9 years. My boyfriend was just a family now after being together for so many years. We shared great respect, comfort and true commitment all these years. Now that it was the time to justify our relation and commitment, I don't know what happened to him. He asked his mom for her permission for our marriage and her being old fashioned and orthodox, she refused. Now he is telling me to forget it. I don't understand how is this even happening. I love him so much that when it comes to him nothing else matters and he loves me a lot too but for some reason this thought has settled in his mind that since we cannot pay back our parents for making our life so perfect by sacrificing their own, he wants to pay her mom back by sacrificing our relation. I respect his mom even when she dislikes me to the extent that she hates me. I still tell him that I will prove myself to be total opposite of what she is afraid about but he does not want to take one step against the will of his mother. Because to him, his mother has made so many sacrifices over the years and he does not want to go ahead and marry me which will hurt her for rest of her life. After discussing this and trying to convince him for months now I am broken and torn apart. Every night I prayed to God Almighty to help me, to do some miracle that she agrees herself. But no answers. Then I thought I'll leave it on time and whatever is in my sanjog I'll get. I am in dilemma, isnt it like God help those who help themselves? Should I give up knowing he loves me as much as I love and accept this irrational reason of giving up? Although he clearly told me that he cannot marry me, he does not want to break up and neither it seems to be feasible from my side. We decide one day that fine we won't contact each othr from now and on. But we are so used to each other that it doesn't work. He messages me next morning and no matter how hard I try to resist it I end up replying back and then the cycle begins of initially talking and then discussing marriage, then he refuses, then I get hurt and disappointed, I pray, I cease the contact, and then he messages/ calls, then I try to resist, then I reply and so on. I feel I am stuck in this cycle and don't know what to do. Can you suggest me what should I do? This is really ruining my life. abcdMon, 27 Feb 2012 11:00:54 -0600http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/44/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/151/amritbeautyWJKKWJF, I am a sikh girl that chose not to remove my hair more than 6 years ago; I love anything to do with fashion (yes 'fashion' - sometimes seen as a forbidden word!) and still want to look good / presentable - I have created a new Twitter account - it would be great to provide support to girls that share my outlook... You can search for me under @AmritBeauty... once I have a sufficient number of followers I can start tweeting :) God bless...@AmritBeautyFri, 11 May 2012 06:13:55 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/151/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/135/need-a-directionwaheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ke fateh I am a 23 year old girl. I read my banis regularly and visit gurudwara daily. But somehow i feel that mind has become stagnant, it is not progressing further. Doing path has become just an activity. i donot feel connected. It is like i do path for the sake of doing it. When i started reading banis as a child. i used to feel exremely blessed and happy. It was pure joy. I wish to have the same feeling now. plz guide.satnamWed, 02 May 2012 22:54:59 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/135/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/144/reincarnation-and-genderWe as Sikhs believe in reincarnation into both animal and human lives, but do we remain the same gender through all of our births, if not then what determines the gender we will be given?GSinghWed, 09 May 2012 01:06:48 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/144/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/149/maya-and-soulsIn the Satguru Granth Sahib it says that the universe is destroyed and recreated many times, so what happens to those who have not become gurmukh and reunited with god, and when the universe is destroyed and recreated are new souls formed or are the same souls recycled? also if no new souls are created then what happens when eventually every soul becomes reunited and no souls are left because once your reunited with god you cannot go back into maya can you?GSinghWed, 09 May 2012 23:31:19 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/149/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/141/i-is-it-bad-if-i-stop-talking-to-my-brotherWell I'm 16 and my older brother is 20 and hes been doing drugs and all my family and some relatives have been really upset and annoyed by it. My parents were thinking about kicking him out but they're not going to. So my grandma was like don't you want to call him your brother anymore and I said no because I don't think he will change he also went to the Gurdwara and said he won't do them again but he did. So is it really bad if I don't talk to him.. will people think bad of me especially ones who want a brother?MKSun, 06 May 2012 09:42:39 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/141/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/114/in-sri-guru-granth-sahebji-In Sri Guru Granth Sahebji we find the Banis, Description of all the religious scholar,holy scriptures , eg; RAM , RAHIM, Allah, Kabir, Ravan, Sita..... etc........ but we never / don't see/ find anything about Christianity / Jesus christ....please explain....Why?balbirSat, 21 Apr 2012 04:39:55 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/114/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/48/in-guru-granth-sahib-ji-somewhere-its-mentionIn Guru Granth Sahib Ji somewhere its mention about "the four ages" what does it mean ? SecretWed, 29 Feb 2012 12:30:57 -0600http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/48/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/115/angry-husband-2Sat siri akal I am the same one who asked for your advice under a title " Angry Husband " on 13/10/2011 My sistuation has gone worse. I am in a joint family and nobody likes me. My husband can not support me because of the financial loss and his mother making every member of family against me and does drama in front of family that my presence in family making her ill and ill.My husband's brothers are forcing my husband to divorce me. They just dont say negative things about me but also for my two yrs old daughter. Thats makes me very very angry and i answer them back straightway and whenever i open my mouth situation doesn't go in my favour and they start asking me to leave the house. I don' understand how to control my temper? I am very frustrated and i am trying to find a job so that i can spend less time in this house but job market is not good. I have lost my faith in Waheguru even God has given me two beautiful kids but what their life would be after my divorce. My own family is not in same country and this is second marriage of my husband and mine. I am in a hell and dont know how to bring peace in my life. I have totally forgotten the feeling of happiness. Please tell me how to control my temper and frustration, not for my happiness but for good future of my kids. Please do tell me something. Sat siri akalsatinderSat, 21 Apr 2012 10:28:41 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/115/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/120/sarcasm-ironyIf a sikh uses irony and later says he/she was just joking Is he/she being untruthful? I have actually sometimes difficulty understanding irony. when some people say something and mean another thing. using irony and sarcasm goes it against a truthful speaking and living according to sikhism? i apologize for my bad english i'm not english speaking.SecretTue, 24 Apr 2012 14:40:20 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/120/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/126/resh-hermonHi I am a christian who is inspired by sikhism and its teachings . I would like to convert and would like to know the procedure for that in India/ Amritsar. My only things is I have taken myself for 3-4 months to give time and take a right decision to follow this please guide reshj1reshmaSat, 28 Apr 2012 07:01:16 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/126/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/128/cod-liver-oilHi Everyone , Doctor has recommended me cod liver oil capsules as I have Vitamin D deficiency, due to which my bones are getting weaker and having skin problem . I am asking this coz I am a vegetarian & have doubt in mind, pls give me your inputs, thanks.GuriTue, 01 May 2012 20:48:41 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/128/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/124/unkind-brother-in-lawMy brother in law has been unkind to me for over ten years, I know I was not nice to him when was being mean to me, I have apologized extensively and gone out of my way to be nice to him for years now. He is married with a young son, him and his wife don't let me hold their son, they always take him from and say he has to be fed or diaper has to be changed, but they don't do it, instead they hold him, put him down or give him to my husband who is his brother. My brother in law has repeatedly chosen his wife over everyone, which I credit him because she is his family, but he tends to make my husband choose between me and him, for example only inviting him over to visit, only calling him, emailing him pics of our nephew even though I am the one who asks for pictures. When they moved out they never told is they had bought a house until friends told us and we asked them, even than my husband looks past that. In the last 4 to 5 years I have sent them endless invites to come visit, for us to visit them, for dinner for going out for Christmas, either my brother in law doesn't answer me or respond back or says he didn't any of my messages... Yet he always messages my husband after not inviting him over for almost 4 years, again my husband looks past that, they haven't said happy birthday to me in 5 years, he has shouted at me and ignores me at times and wants only my husband to visit him and his family, yet he is close to his wife and I know he would not let anyone be mean to her, it hurts me so bad that I can't function sometime, and the worst of it for me is that my husband admits he knows his brother is playing games but he doesn't say anything, I do understand that a lot of the time is not in front of him but things like not saying happy bday, pretending he doesn't get my calls, shouldn't my husband confront him? I tell myself that the reason he spent push it is cuz his bro will deny it, but on the meantime I am becoming broken... I feel like he choosing his bro over his own wife? Any advise? His brother also gives no help in helping with his parents and hardly comes to visit but they still prefer my sister in law over me, is it okay for my husband to keep in touch with his bro, as everything is normal for the sake of peace or should not be always engaging in messaging him back every time he calls, and of so I can I handle so if doesn't make me cry all the time am feel alone thank youRubyWed, 25 Apr 2012 12:04:06 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/124/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/129/tattoos-and-converting-to-sikhismI am a 28 year old man and throughout my life I've acquired almost 35 tattoos all over my body. They are on my hands,knuckles, neck, tops of my feet, arms and legs. I am currently receiving treatment to have the tattoos on my hands and knuckles removed because they are the most visible but cannot afford to get all removed. Some of these tattoos are of a subject matter not consistent with Sikh life. For example, I have a couple of tattoos that are of skulls and one of a dagger with a banner around it that reads "Revenge" while the rest of my tattoos are less "evil". I've come a long way in life and want nothing more than peace and love and a deep connection with the divine. I am looking very seriously into Sikhism and I believe that that is where I belong and foresee a conversion in the near future for me. That being said, I am worried about being accepted as a Sikh when i have mutilated my body in such a way. In my area there is a Sikh center and I very much want to become a part of it and do all I can for the Sikh community but I find myself afraid to make that first step into this religion because of my tattoos and the fear of rejection. Is there any advice you can give me regarding preexisting tattoos and what I should expect? Bless you and thank you for your time. -ChrisCCapicottoWed, 02 May 2012 08:44:36 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/129/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/125/i-failed-a-course-i-am-so-stressed-waheguru-jiI am an interantional student, studying in canada's college, I failed a course in my first semester, i feel so ashamed, i am feeling like i should kill myself, my parents are suffering so much troubles in arranging money for my tution fees, i just tell them the day and they send me money right away, its hard for them to pay for my expenses but they never say me NO, they never tell me they bear hardships and i ruined everything, i failed a course, i ruined all their money, God please let me die, I seriously dont want to be alive anymore, but then i think of my parents, they love me so much, what will happen to them if i die, and i die after wasting their so much money, I believe in Waheguru ji so much that i think there will be a way out for sure, Waheguru ji always helped me, waheguru ji can't let me and my family down this time, I just need few more points to pass, please help me out, I wish a miracle happens and everything goes well, I can never tell my parents I failed a course, please somebody help me, my soul is dying, I am losing my hopes, Waheguru ji is my only hope!!! Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh!!mandeepWed, 25 Apr 2012 20:39:23 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/125/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/116/a-response-to-this-articlehttp://gurmukhyoga.com/forum/index.php?id=301 ^^ I found this rather...revealing and odd article online, on a forum. I've seen this question arise many times, and at first, was repulsed that someone would make claims that might not be rooted in truth. But after examining this article and some others like it, and taking out the initial bias, I'm not sure what to think anymore. I do believe in symbolism, and the power of it, but there are probably some instances mentioned in this article that might be pushing it too far. Personally, to me this isn't evidence of a limitless imagination, but rather a confusion of beliefs. I am a total believer in the positive effects of social freedom, expression and human connection, but there doesn't seem to be any "defense" or "counter-evidence" to claims made in arguments like the one in the link above. (Sorry for posting a link rather than a summary, as the article is very large). SO...does anyone have, for a lack of a better term, an explanation for the points mentioned in the peculiar article? I know a lot of "outraged" people want "answers" to this kind of thing, but I ask kindly for maybe an explanation, rather than a fiery defense. I think this sort of topic must be discussed, not argued over, as so many accusers fail to do. Thank you so much, and please do not attach a link/tell me to read a book. I wouldn't mind listening to (reading) a long and intriguing lecture. :) God bless!lolcheeseSun, 22 Apr 2012 15:49:20 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/116/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/113/moving-on-letting-goHello Everyone, I read some of the questions/answers here and found them really insightful. I thought I would share my dilemma with you too and hopefully get the answer I need to hear. I know this is going to sound like the repetitive "girl likes boy" story and the truth is, it is but just try to hear me out! I listened to Guruka Singh's talk on relationships a few years ago and it really spoke to me. I loved the message and it made so much sense to me. I tried to live by it. I focused on getting to know myself by meditation and reflection(by writing in my journal). It was wonderful. I was getting to know myself - my spiritual self, my intellectual self and just my overall being but then I lost track. One of my friends started to show a romantic interest in me. He was very kind and it seemed like his caring was genuine. I fell for it and started to really like him. There were the initial "sparks" and everything seemed perfect when we were around each other. We didn't start dating because of our values but we did grow an emotional attachment. As soon as we got over our "smitten" phase, the reality hit. We are both of different backgrounds (culture, religion, etc) and it would never work out. We decided we had to move on. The problem is he has moved on but I haven't been able to. I keep thinking about the past and it is so difficult for me to forget the feelings. What will help? I try to keep reminding myself of the reality and that usually helps, but every once in a while the feeling comes back and leaves me feeling so empty and sad inside. I just want to let go completely. What can I do? I tried to meditate but I have lost all focus. My mind keeps wandering everywhere like never before. It's pathetic. anonymouslifeFri, 20 Apr 2012 23:26:54 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/113/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/94/lost-soul-and-need-some-guidancewaheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh..mein thodi guidance chahidi hai..i have done a lot of bad things in my life...i am a 22 year old sikh girl..i was send to u.s.a to study hard and my family was in india...i somehow went into a relationship with a sikh guy...my intention was not bad ever..i trully loved him but i had some physical relation with him...he left me after some time..i begged him not to leave me and marry me..but he did'nt care..i can't tell my family of what i did...i am struggling..i am failing my school and sick all the time..i have huge depression..should i die?..what should i do ?anoymousTue, 03 Apr 2012 21:23:22 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/94/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/107/relationshipsIn Sikhism is it aright to have a girlfriend ?SinghSoorma1313Tue, 17 Apr 2012 22:22:26 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/107/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/102/a-free-careerI was hoping you could help me. I am 20 years old, british born and amritdhari. I don't think I have many needs or desires... I would love to just devote my life to spirituality. So much so that I would literally have loved to have become a full time sevadar, such as a granthi, but there are certain issues with that which I won't go into. I would love to have some sort of career that gives me 'freedom' so to speak, as opposed to the conventional 9 to 5 world most people live in. I detest that way of living. Do you have any suggestions for 'lifestyle careers'? I can't explain any more than simply, 'I want to be free', in India would be a bonus. One thing I think I would love to do is teach, and will be enrolling on a teacher training course here in the UK at some point in the near future. But I'm open to other options too. One of the problems with teaching in the UK is that its extremely target driven and much pressure comes from these targets. That's why I thought of India. Teaching in a spirituality based school such as Miri Piri Academy I can imagine would be just amazing. I would really love to hear your suggestions. letmeoutofmycageTue, 17 Apr 2012 08:00:58 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/102/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/85/the-feeling-of-hopelessnessVaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fathe! I'm a senior high school student and when it comes to Exams I really freak out. I have high ambitions and I when I get a terrible mark i feel like I am worthless because other people did better than me. I just sat my maths exam and I felt really pathetic and hopeless I have no idea whether I even passed rather than scored a good grade! I'm terrified. I don't know what to do but I do believe that God will help me, I really put my trust in God but I'm still very doubtful and I hate that. I just want it to stop. I want to just get rid of these thoughts I HATE IT! I start to cry and cry but I know that it doesn't help but I just can't seem to see the light at the end of my dark tunnel. I just want to be with my Guru. That is all I want! I hate stress I HATE IT! Has anybody else ever felt this way and how am i supposed to control my felling of hopelessness????? Please help... Thanks for reading. Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fathe!Karuageouswarrior1699Wed, 28 Mar 2012 02:00:05 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/85/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/70/why-the-name-kaurVaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fathe! Can anyone please tell me why Guru Gobind Singh Ji gave Sikh girls the name Kaur which means princess???? I guess I was wrong it is not prince but princess. I get really confused because in people say it means prince and others say it means princess. Sorry, but what do you suppose Guru Gobind Singh Ji was trying to say by giving us the name Kaur???? Thankyou :) Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fathe!Karuageouswarrior1699Mon, 19 Mar 2012 05:17:50 -0500http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/70/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/38/naam-japna-aur-mann-vich-tanav-honaWaheguru G Ka Khalsa Waheguru G Ki Fateh Please help me. Mai ajj kal bahut tension vich ha. Par mera Naam Japan nu bahut dil karda hai, par is chinta karke mai japp nai paanda. Mai ki kara. Mera sawal hai "Ki tension aur tanaav vich v Naam Japeya ja sakda hai ?"Harjinder SinghWed, 08 Feb 2012 23:54:46 -0600http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/38/http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/40/what-is-this-punjabi-wordI am trying to figure out a friends's middle name. The clues she gave me are as follows: 1) The name starts with a B 2) First word on one of the pages from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib 3) Sounds like a piece of attire common to urban/hip hop style 4) Not a typical name, the average person may not have heard of it 5) Most important clue - the translation means pray It is not Bhajan, Bhagti, Benti, Bani, Beed, Bavaknsodhi420Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:37:53 -0600http://answers.sikhnet.com/question/40/