Silas Scarborough Galactic Peace Tour

Combining Cemeteries and Golf Courses

2012-02-02T11:05:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has ever worked in a corporation already knows that golfers are the most boring living people on the planet. The dead still hold the title for the most boring non-living people. This gives a clue to what happens in Heaven: golf.

Here at the Galactic Peace Tour and Ministry of the Internet headquarters, we have been casting about for a product that would perform a public service (i.e. gouge Americans), help me with taxes (i.e. put me in the 1% so I don't have to pay them), and give me a healthy dose of arrogance as we saw with Romney yesterday, "I'm not concerned with the very poor."

(Here's a tip to Romney: we already knew that, honey. We wouldn't have expected anything else from you.)

We believe that product we really need is the PGA Golf Tour / Cemetery package. What happens in a cemetery? Nothing, right. What happens in a game of golf? Right. Also nothing. So all you need to combine the two is put a few sand traps into the cemetery and, whammo, Spring Grove is on the PGA Golf Tour, baybeee!

"Don't Bury Your Dead" - The Rot

2012-02-01T13:05:00.003-05:00

Almost nothing of the lyrics remain but the sentiment is the same as, like golf is a waste of a good walk, a cemetery is a waste of a good park! I've never understood why humans like to save up dead people. We've collected so damn many of them that you'd think we have enough by now but we keep doing it!

They keep wondering how to protect nature preserves. Geez, make 'em feckin' cemeteries and people won't go anywhere near 'em. That's yer answer.

It just amused me to think back on the song all those years back as my thoughts on the matter haven't changed by even one atomic particle in all that time! (laughs)

Don't bury your dead
Just throw them by the road
Just put pennies on their eyes

de dum de dum or something

I know the Cadillac Man was there but I'm taking a wild guess that he was hammered too so I'm seriously doubting anyone has a clear memory of those lyrics.

Crazy night!

Update: This song may need to, erm, come back to life. The chords don't matter as any will do. Whatever best seems to represent dead people, I suppose!

The original lyrics are bugging the hell out of me, tho. It seems if I just thought about it and gave it time to search, they'd be in there somewhere. It's like naming Rachel Ticotin movies. She's so hot that you know what they are but don't remember the title and then it comes to you at two in the morning. (Hint: one of them was "Total Recall" and she was ferociously bad-ass in "Falling Down.")

So maybe "Don't Bury Your Dead" will come back that way. Dunno. May screw around with it a little bit and see if there's any thought transfer with cosmic wonderfulness as maybe it remembers it even if I don't. You never can tell when you're dealing with cosmic wonderfulness.

I want it to be funny but it's still got to be dark enough to be interesting. We shall see.

What About the Tour

2012-02-01T12:53:00.001-05:00

The Tour never stopped but it's sure danced around some bullshit curve balls. It won't stop now as I'll try USTREAM and see how it goes. It was pretty much immune to social network crap so it could be fun. If it ain't fun then I keep doing the stuff I've been doing which is getting hammered and playing the guitar. I just change the setup so I only turn on a camera if I feel like it.

That stuff is all cool to me. If there's interest in what I do, I'll broadcast and if not then I'll play for myself anyway. I don't have a problem with that but I have a huge problem on wasting time on things that don't matter when there's relatively little time to waste.

My gear is safe here and I haven't the faintest doubt that I could walk out the door and around the planet and when I came back in the door the stuff would all be right where it is now. Same trust as with Lotho's family. It's safe.

Donika doesn't care if I bunk out on the couch indefinitely as she likes the company and she doesn't think it's strange that I like to sleep with my equipment (laughs).

Most people think that's a little unusual.

COPD doesn't get better. I'm sorry for you all that I did this to myself but so it goes. The only part that's a problem for me is being told that Marcus Welby can make it all better. You know it's not true and it just wastes time.

The thinking is to junk anything that doesn't add to making the music happen and then keep the jam going for as long as my lame ass can stand up to do it.

Here's a bit of morbidity for you! If I vapor lock, it's most likely either waking up ... or playing a gig. Without telling you more than need to know about my personal life, there's no chance it's going to happen any other way (laughs).

So that's kind of a drag for you. I vapor lock in front of the camera and poor Donika and Thor are stuck with coming up to the cam and saying, "Man, there's no doctor in the house!" (laughs)

If you can hack it, I can. I'm not afraid of that. I just don't want to rot! (laughs)

My first band was The Rot. It rotted in, oh, six or eight hours but it was a band for those glorious hours and resulted in my first no chance of being a hit song "Don't Bury Your Dead." There are many who would give a lot for that tune but there were searches and no-one has ever been able to find a tape. Martin York singing lead and I was too hammered to remember what Lotho was doing. It was an All-Star cast, man! Whoa, Laughing Gecko might have been part of this! Not sure.

So I don't want my last band to be The Rot! I saw that stuff with the gall bladder. Fuck that! Don't make me all sick and horrible. If you're going to kill me, fuckin' stab my ass! (laughs)

Like the cat said when he opened his radio show in London every night during the Battle of Britain, "You've got to larf!"

Yeah, man. You do!

To Sell the Truck

2012-02-01T11:24:00.000-05:00

This may seem sacrificial but it's not. There's no chance of getting a job doing anything and I've known for quite a while that doing the Tour I had planned is impossible. Therefore, keeping that monster doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The reason is that it gives me breathing room. It'd pull ten to twelve grand and that'd keep me going until 62 when I can get a bit of jingle from Social Security.

Stay cool, kids. This ain't about drama. It's about livin' and dyin'. The drama queens can play their stuff elsewhere. This stuff is for real.

This is NOT a request for money. There's no way anyone can support me until November. I appreciate the thought but that won't solve the problem.

I've been trying to unload some spare loopers but Boss came out with a new product line so the value of that stuff has dropped. In order, the Blonde Lady is next on the list and the truck after that. It seems like a reasonable way to proceed as I hardly ever drive it and there's no fuel in it anyway (laughs).

Donika thinks it's a bad idea but she's getting emotional about the vehicle. I love the ol' truck too but that doesn't make it practical to keep it.

Promise there's no depression. I'm just broke and I need to deal with it some kind of way. The truck is not yet listed but I'm not coming up with many reasons to keep it other than it's cool to have it.

Outrage Over Apple Changes to EPUB Format

2012-01-31T14:09:00.000-05:00

Many are infuriated that Apple has introduced the iBooks format of ebook as it's not at all compatible with the format in use for countless books at Amazon and other sites.

There's a complicated answer to everything but really it goes like this: if you don't want the cool features of iBooks then, honey, don't use them. Stay with Pages or Word to generate your EPUBs and everything will be just as it is today. You can sell them on the iBookstore or Amazon just as you can today.

If you want the cool stuff then you need iBooks Author. It looks like there's almost no chance of selling anything that way unless you deal with parasitic gatekeepers to get your book into the iBookstore. Hence the rage from so many people.

However, it's ok to give the book away. Understand your purpose going into it and choose the medium most appropriate. If you want to sell it and don't already have an iTunes Connect account with Apple, you're probably not going to sell anything. Understand that going into it and you won't have a problem.

I know that giving up "Lunagrams" for public download means it's effectively releasing it to the public domain, copyright notwithstanding. There is no DRM in the iBook so people can copy it as they like. That's fine as I knew that when I did it. Perhaps that's not what you want so think it through.

"Lunagrams" #Poetry #iBooks for #iPad - FREE DOWNLOAD! #ebook #apple

2012-01-31T11:20:00.000-05:00

"Lunagrams" is one of the first in a new kind of ebook that permits photography, video and many other types of extensions to the basic idea of an ebook which hasn't changed much since it was first implemented.

"Lunagrams" will grandstand an iPad like you won't believe. Or maybe it doesn't impress you that a book can have a movie in it. I've been working with computers for a very long time and it sure surprised me!

The "Lunagrams" iBook is available for free download at My Duck Soup. Due the Apple licensing for iBooks, it is illegal to sell the book privately. This iBook really is free and it really will stay that way until it is accepted into Apple's iBookstore. There is no bait and switch. There is no Donate button. Free is free!

Realistically, it's not likely that it will ever be accepted into the Apple iBookstore and this is why many people are screaming about the Apple license. That stuff has already been written so read it somewhere else if you want! (laughs)

This morning it was showing that 93.6% of download activity on My Duck Soup is for the book so apparently someone wants to see what's in it! My server will support 35 GB of transfer per month and the book is about .3 GB. I really didn't think anyone would download it so I'm pleasantly surprised and the server should be able to handle it.

(The reason for the # characters in the title is that it will send the title to Twitter and those will turn into hashtags which are like New English in Twitter world. In short, it means I don't have to do anything.)

"There's Going to Be a Gunfight" #poetry #ows #protest

2012-01-30T13:42:00.003-05:00

There's going to be a gunfight,
you know it's coming soon.
The cops dress like they're Army
and they've been acting just like goons.

They haven't helped the people,
they see but they don't try.
There's going to be a gunfight
and someone's going to die.

It didn't have to be this way
but there's lust in political greed.
The people don't want sailboats,
we just want enough to eat.

We just want to see a doctor,
to feel safe when we walk the streets,
But Washington just sends guns
when there's not enough to eat.

They didn't try to listen,
they just give that satanic stare.
We're in it for the money
and we don't fuckin' care.

There's going to be a gunfight
and their money won't buy life.
They'll have to face the people
and someone's going to die.

Note: I have no explanation. This stuff appears out of nowhere and I have to write it down. I don't think about writing poems. They write themselves. I'm really just the typist and it's only for about ten minutes. I have no explanation for why this should happen or even why it should interest me.

I know you all don't like the dark stuff but I promise I'm not driving an agenda. It's just the vibe I pick up from watching things. This isn't a disclaimer for the FBI as they can blow me. When was the last time you heard about a big heroin bust? If they've got time to screw with me, you know they're nancies.

Apple iBooks Author License Policy Means No More iBooks

2012-01-30T13:11:00.000-05:00

While it's tempting to write a Reverend Sasquatch book, I'd know going into it that there is no chance of getting it into the iBookstore without paying a gatekeeper such as Lulu, etc. Apple has created the environment that permits these parasites to exist and I will not deal with them. Therefore, I will not write another one.

The way it works is that Apple takes 30% of whatever price you've listed for your iBook. Fine. It's their shop. However, to get your iBook into the iBookstore, the only apparent way to do it is to go through Lulu, etc and those places can get you online in a week but they'll charge 10%-20% of proceeds from Apple (i.e. 10% to 20% of the 70% Apple gave up) to do it. From that we conclude that Apple has the capability to put you online in a week ... they just won't. No chance I'm paying a premium for that attitude.

"Lunagrams" fulfills the destiny foreseen by my ol' Dad and it's an honest job of it. He would understand why I won't do it again. He wouldn't have put up with this kind of crap either.

I promise you I'm not angry. Rather, I'm frustrated by human greed. I refuse to believe it's an innate property. We aren't greedy so who are the greedy ones and how did they get that way. Better yet, don't tell me (laughs).

"Something About Marigolds"

2012-01-30T12:03:00.000-05:00

A Marigold isn't a very attractive flower but they stink and gardeners like that as they may deter nibblers from entering the garden. It's somewhat like the way the Republican Party prevents science and civilization from entering the United States. (That one was for Santorum as I really, really hope Occupy Wall Street barbecues him and eats him!)

Actually I hope just about anything will barbecue and eat Santorum but this doesn't substantially differentiate him from any other politician. If I'm breaking out the Tar and Feather Kit, there isn't a politician, banker, or insurance company executive in the country who won't spend the rest of his or her days looking like Big Bird!

So that's kind of the vibe for "Something About Marigolds" in stuff you like even though it stinks!

However, the song stinks. Well, the song doesn't really stink but the recording did. This would be a classic example of the fact that drugs will get you high, they will not make you a better musician. I did do the edits on the video / audio so I didn't just dismiss it. It was after giving it a fair review that I decided all that really could be done with it is the torture of Federal prisoners or, on a larger scale, the inhibition of weed plant growth in the median for Interstate highways.

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it, tho, so I'll take another whack at it, maybe tonight.

What's the poetry book doing?

Um, nothin', honey. It's a poetry book. What's it supposed to do! (laughs)

"Lunagrams - Poems of the Galactic Peace Tour" - Available for Free Download for iPad

2012-01-30T00:36:00.001-05:00

"Lunagrams - Poems of the Galactic Peace Tour" has been released and forty minutes ahead of time so I note that even gin-soaked poets can meet a project schedule.

"Lunagrams" is an iBook available exclusively for iPad as other tablets don't have the capabilities to deliver this type of book. With the background in music and video, it was important to me to integrate them as each of these things sustains the others so the book wouldn't really be complete otherwise.

This is the 'Patron of the Tour' version with embedded video for maximum coolness but that also makes for a big download. The file is 377 MB but likely this book of poetry is unlike any you have ever seen. The new iBooks Author software permits creation of books more dynamic and interactive than anything previous. As a result, for some of the poems the book will not only show you how they read but also what they look like.

Download "Lunagrams" for Free! The book will remain free and available for public download until accepted into the iBookstore.

Playing into the Night

2012-01-29T12:31:00.000-05:00

It went way late last night and I didn't do any edits but I did record and film it. However, it went fourteen minutes and that ain't economical.

In fact, it went so late that it may be tomorrow before we see any Texans!

Dunno what it was and it was simple but it had a good beat and the bass drives it. Of course, I neglected to write it to memory in the looper so it disappeared when I turned off the gear (laughs).

It doesn't matter when songs evaporate as many times I play them from scratch anyway. I would do all of them that way except that it takes some time to build up the loop with multiple instruments and you've got to be a pretty hardcore fan (i.e. no life at all, prob'ly someone who watches political debates and keeps hamsters) to watch that.

Today I'll finish up the packaging for "Lunagrams" and will put it online on My Duck Soup tomorrow. It'll be very good to get that completed but the music has already started again anyway. Yahoo!

"People Get Ready" The Impressions (video)

2012-01-28T22:49:00.000-05:00

This is the original from about 1965 and it was written by Curtis Mayfield. Historical note is that Curtis Mayfield was playing lead for the song. The gospel vibe to it is done so beautifully that it's all the more reason to give the song respect.

I can roll with these trips because it doesn't say anything about the Lord except that thanks wouldn't be a bad idea. I don't ever want to get specific about my religion as it can't be specific. I'm a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, prob'ly not cool enough to be a Buddhist, and don't want to be a Mormon. These divisions mean nothing to me in a greater sense of spirituality. How one thanks the Lord isn't my business and, frankly, I don't want to hear about how other people do it.

I was an atheist for quite some time but it's too simple and worse, it's too smug. I know the origin of the Universe. I believe it. That settles it.

Yeah, buddy.

There are so many more colors to existence and so many more spirits within it. People want so much to believe this is true but many times I feel they don't but, as with Lotho's backyard, there's really nothing required to believe, only to feel. And with that, I'll go back to the 'stage' here and see how well I can feel "People Get Ready" as I do thank the Lord.

That may seem stupid in my circumstance but I'm more thankful to powers greater than myself than I ever have been and this has nothing to do with an obvious perception of mortality but rather the luxury of the time to listen to the silence and to feel what's in it. This isn't meditation or any formal type of communion but rather the simple act of listening. Try it.

We're really good at talking but we really suck at listening. Take the time and listen, to discern what every little sound might be, what the story might be behind it. Approach it as an exercise in finding peace as it will work for that in clearing your mind but, much more than that, you will find things in the silence that you didn't know were there. This is not about drugs. It's about listening. How you do it best is up to you. Hendrix summed it up real quick, "Different strokes."

I realize I'm a little defensive about engaging the topic and that's absurd. You all know I've been a preacher all my life. I didn't know it but I'm pretty sure you all did (laughs). One thing I know as preacher is that it's the same as music. I'm not going to tell you what it means as you already know. Some of you aren't sure whether to believe it. I'll see what I can record toward that. Donika is on the phone with Thor right now but he's sick. I told her to tell him to get his sick ass out of bed and come on over but he wouldn't buy it. I said if he can talk on the telephone, he can feckin' sing so roll out!

OK, that's enough lollygagging about. This will be the third time back for some jams today. This is not rebounding from having my heart crashed over the book as it isn't crushed. I just want to play and this has been one hell of a fine day for it. Started early enough to get everything dialed and all I have to do is walk back over and pick her up. The Galaxy Guitar, my lady. To this day, it stuns me that an instrument of such striking beauty lives with me and accepts that. Every time it sparkles, I see the Mystery Lady smile.

I'm feeling good. Despite the disappointment on marketing the book, I feel wonderful about having written it. I'll release it on schedule but that doesn't need anything from me now so that means, it's Saturday night, crank it!

I've got another tune that isn't really a cranker but Donika gets off on it. Lots happening, lots fun, and it'll take a few days for Thor to get better but he's in the game as soon as he can get over here. In fact, he said he's doing a Snoopy dance and he's ready to jam as soon as he can get his sick ass moving.

Time to crank. Man, I do love it so. The stuff you've said about the book and other stuff in has been very encouraging and it helps more than you know. Life is so surreal that it can be extremely difficult to discern significance and I thank you all again for sharing some of your time to validate what I've done.

"People Get Ready" Jeff Beck / Rod Stewart (video)

2012-01-28T10:49:00.000-05:00

This may be more coolness than you can handle at this particular moment:

It looks like Beck really didn't know that Stewart was going to show up that night. If you like go back and check out the version they released, oh, thirty+ years ago.

Meanwhile Back in the Studio

2012-01-28T02:00:00.002-05:00

The last couple of nights I've been tangling with "People Get Ready" and I love the song, always have. It's cool in that it ain't going to suffer a whole lot of lead guitar playing. It ain't about the guitar, it's about the train. Check out Jeff Beck for some very restrained styling on it. Very cool.

It's cool but there's not a whole lot of point in covering the song unless I'm going to screw with it. However, I'm open to the screwing with it part being in the vocal and I don't mean in terms of using tricks or technology but rather

with a sudden flash of lightning and a great roar of thunder

there was Thor!

I'm pretty damn sure he could make you cry in singing this one. I know without even talking to him that he feels it and I also know he can rip it. In fact, he's got power like the Mystery Lady in they have to pull it back they've got so much. Sure as hell, if the Mystery Lady sang it, you'd head down to the train station right this minute. I'm ready, Brother Silas. I'm ready!

Yep, I think Thor could have you heading for the train station in his own kind of way. It's cool for that as the tune really isn't all that exciting to play except insofar as the feel. It has to be exquisitely controlled but without sounding like it's exquisitely controlled (laughs). This is Use the Force kind of stuff. Doesn't matter what's on the paper, just play it! Crank it just hard enough that Thor doesn't run too far ahead of it and we could have a whole lot of coolness.

If you love the song, don't worry about it. Definitely the song is getting the respect it deserves. This is why I dumped "My Guitar Gently Weeps." After hearing the version Santana did, there's just no reason to ever record that song again! It may just be the most beautiful electric tune I ever heard. Sorry to say I can't remember the singer's name but she is SO damn good.

So, yeah, we don't have time for crushed over the book. People Get Ready!

Reviewing Pages vs iBooks Author for Ebooks

2012-01-28T01:32:00.001-05:00

Pages has the capability to generate an ePub document and this is what you need to have the freedom to send your ebook anywhere. However, that level of ePub is so primitive that it won't even support double columns.

iBooks Author has incredible power but it's not likely that the book will ever go up for sale as it can only go to the iBookstore. You cannot create an ePub file with iBooks Author as it will only create a folder which is subsequently input for iTunes Producer ... which you can't get without Apple's approval.

Therefore, I conclude go with the iBooks Author. I'd rather write a smart book for nothing than a dumb book for money. Hoot if you like as converting it for Pages is possible but it's taking my beautiful thing and it's like turning her out for tricks. Nope, won't do it.

Update:

"Lunagrams - Poems of the Galactic Peace Tour" is available for free download at My Duck Soup. It's a big download but it will show you what an iBook can do. There are no hidden charges. The iBooks Author license forbids selling iBooks from a personal Web site.

You Gotta Know When to Fold 'em

2012-01-27T23:55:00.004-05:00

The license for Apple's iBooks Author says specifically that books written with that software can only be marketed through the iBookstore. The only way to load it to the iBookstore is with Apple's software and you can't get it without approval. After reading about the Web, it doesn't seem likely that approval will come. Therefore, I'm boxed.

Books can also be submitted through what are known as aggregators, third-party houses that take another percentage of the profit but they can get your book online. This is parasitism that approaches RIAA levels so I say screw 'em. You'll be lucky to get fifty percent of the proceeds. I don't grudge Apple taking its piece as they built the house. However, I'm not doing business with people who would otherwise be offering bail bonds outside jails. Have you got it now on why ebooks cost so much.

I've put way, way too much work into this to throw the book away so the only move left is to give the book away from my Web site as that is legal. I'm mixed on doing that as, in effect, it advertises the iBooks Author software on Apple's behalf and I get nothing for it. Perhaps, it'd be ok if I put the admonition on the page to people not to write with this software or they'll end up giving their stuff away too.

Here's the one-liner: If you want to sell your ebook, the best way to make sure that never happens is to use iBooks Author to write it.

That's kind of mean but, wtf, I'm kind of pissed (laughs).

It's ok as I'm proud of what I made. I believe Apple is seriously trying to be conservative about managing the iBookstore so the next time I look at iPhone apps, I'll just ignore the fart applications. What we learn from that is had I written a book on farting I'd be in like Flint.

Actually, giving it away is so perfectly futile that what could be more poetic! (laughs)

Beware the Agapanthus

2012-01-27T14:16:00.001-05:00

"Beware the Agapanthus" was a sign posted on an English lady's gate to deter criminals or whomever else might disturb an English lady.

She felt quite safe in the knowledge that criminals and thieves are unlikely to know that the Agapanthus was just a plant in her garden.

So the "Lunagrams" is just a book of poetry and it's pretty cool to do it but I don't think anyone's going to call out the Rockettes over it! Beware the Anti-Climax, he said with a look of Spartan readiness!

Even tho I know it's futile, that kind of makes it cooler as if poetry is supposed to be futile or why do it (laughs). Gimme some more gin, barkeep. Hell no, don't take the bottle away!

"Lunagrams" Web Site Online

2012-01-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

Waiting for Apple is annoying so I have two choices: write endless blog entries to bitch or create a Web site on which I can market the book myself. Lunagrams at My Duck Soup does just that. As soon as I get word back from the testers, I'll put tabs on the page to make the book available for purchase. The page is fully built, save the purchase buttons, and you might like to take a look.

The key to doing anything yourself is you must have your own ISBN. If you let a distributor obtain it for you then you'll be tied exclusively to that distributor. If you get it yourself, you're not tied exclusively to anyplace and can send the book to one or all, as you like. The other part of the decision on ISBN is the price. If sign up exclusively with a distributor, you'll get the ISBN for free. If you get it yourself, you'll pay between $55 and $125 US.

Book Status - Waiting, Waiting

2012-01-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

No sign of approval from Apple as yet and no word back from those with copies of the book for their iPads. The second part isn't surprising as they only got them yesterday and I know for sure that one won't have time to look at it until the week-end. Displaying a surprising awareness of calendars, I notice that the week-end is tomorrow so hopefully news on that soon.

I went through everything last night, line by line. I'm satisfied the book is really, really finished so I'll release it as soon as I get word back from the Special Cherubs.

If there are any Special Cherubs out there with an iPad who would like to check out the book for free, please let me know via email and I'll send one to you. In return, I request a note on any problems you may have in loading it. Note! This is not a program so it can't hurt your system. I just need validation that you can drop the book into iTunes and then the book successfully loads into your iPad. It works fine like that on mine, I just need to know it's the same for everyone. It doesn't matter if you run Apple or Windows as I need validation on both.

Cadillac Man said it reads well and that's pretty cool as he has the PDF version which is a horror to read relative to the tablet version so he had to work to go through it. Thank you!

He was surprised at how many poems are in it and that's pretty cool as he's known me for a very long time. It suddenly struck me just now, tho: holy cow, I've even known the Cadillac Man longer than the Mystery Lady! I don't know when in life it crosses over from friends to blood brothers but I think we're there, bro!

I'm not expecting anyone to read all the stuff and review the content. I wanted to show you that what I've been doing sure sounds like stoner fantasy but it ain't! It would be stoner fantasy to believe anyone will buy it but I don't have that fantasy anyway (laughs).

Today's Silas T-Shirt Suggestion: Poets don't get rich, they just get drunk

If You've Been Thinking About Using Facebook

2012-01-27T10:20:00.000-05:00

The FBI announced plans to implement software that will scan Twitter, Facebook, and other social network feeds. (BBC: FBI plans social network map alert mash-up application)

They've been doing this stuff for a while so it's not clear why they're announcing it now. It does amuse me that there's nothing on CNN about it. I discovered this one reading the BBC.

Just as many were accused of pedophilia for sending naked pictures of their own babies to CVS or similar, the FBI will have the same power regarding anything you say in a social network. This in combination with NDAA creates the potential for a police state that Hitler would have traded Eva Braun and all his dogs to get.

I'm not angry and I can't say I even care. At this stage in life, if people want to screw up the country, let 'em. I'll take pictures (laughs). However, it's yet another reason to stay the hell off any social networks.

"Lunagrams" - Marketing the Book

2012-01-26T17:45:00.000-05:00

Waiting for approval from Apple to upload to the iBookstore is all part of it but then it dawned that I don't have to wait for anything. I've sent a couple of copies of the actual book to some friends to try it on their iPads. Assuming they have no trouble loading it, I can offer the book for sale immediately on Duck Soup. In fact, the Lunagrams page is already set up and I'll put PayPal buttons on it as soon as I get validation back on the test copies.

Another twist on this is that it gives me the freedom to offer the 'Patron' version as it's going to cost more because I'll embed video and do more grandstanding of what the iPad can do. That makes the book too large for the iBookstore but it's fine as an option on my own.

Two more twists in descending probability: the PDF version you got is rough, it's just an unpolished conversion from the iBook. However, I can pretty that up and offer that as a product for full-size computers. Next idea after that is to print a physical stack at Kinkos. However, I've learned from carrying bags of t-shirts around that doing such a thing is prob'ly not a good idea.

So, two things pending: I'm waiting for the approval from Apple and I'm also waiting for validation from the testers. It's all quite good!

Draft Copies of "Lunagrams" in the Mail

2012-01-26T11:21:00.000-05:00

Some draft copies of "Lunagrams" are being distributed and I'd like to emphasize that I'm not asking for reviews. In PDF format, you can't really get how it feels on a tablet but it gives a taste of what it might be like. If you have an iPad, I'll be happy to send a copy of the actual book but this offer only applies to the Inner Cyrkle, Special Cherubs Division! (laughs)

I'm on-hold with the application to Apple for permission to upload to the iBookstore. Nothing much to add to that. None of us tolerate standing in lines very well.

What was resolved from the chaos of the last forty-eight hours is that there is no chance my book can be uploaded to any other platform (i.e. Amazon, etc.) without significant re-formatting of the content and I'm willing to do that. However, I'll see how it does on the iBookstore to determine the value in doing it. The actual process is to re-do it in Microsoft Word which wouldn't exactly be sweaty labor, it's just Microsoft and that's always smelly.

Makes note: Consider getting it printed at Kinko's and duplicated for some physical copies. Perhaps the expense isn't as bad as you imagine.

Since no chance of movement on book while I wait, this was time to turn the knobs to ten and make a godawful noise.

What really happened is that I got a thing going that I thought it'd be cool to do "People Get Ready" and it was just a rough cut but I was thinking dayum! It still lives and I might even release it. How you cross the Rainbow Bridge doesn't matter. It only matters that you do it.

People get ready,
there's a train a'comin'

However, apparently the Lord didn't appreciate my rendition too much as he killed the red laser. That kind of pissed me off as it's not that old and was much too young for that. There's no question of death. I evaluated every combination of dip switch settings and the best it could do was a feeble little beam. Son, that dog ain't comin' home.

I've got two more purples on stand-by but we've already determined they're sissies. I'll give one more a chance as the purple I've been using has troubles as well. The greens are the oldest and they're doing fine so it's not age but rather dumb luck that's killed these others. You've got to expect casualties with lasers as they operate by spinning a mirror in front of the laser beam. Any mechanism that delicate is not going to take a punch very well.

Publishing with Apple iBooks Author

2012-01-25T18:13:00.000-05:00

The most crucial aspect of publishing your book such that it retains its formatting is to export it in TMSP format such that it can subsequently be imported into iTunes Producer for submission to the iBookstore.

Without going into detail, understand that there are three wobbling standards for EPUB and that which is used by Apple pushes beyond any of them. Therefore, any EPUB conversion utility will turn your iBooks Author PDF file into a smoking pile of rubbish. I've tried multiple times with calibre and, believe me, it won't work.

I will be able to advise on the efficacy of using iTunes Producer to upload the book to the iBookstore as soon as my account is approved.

I was really starting to think that the book might be lost unless I did some major re-formatting in Microsoft Word and subsequently sent that into EPUB conversion. That would be work but it'd be like using Facebook to design a nuclear power plant. Something's goin' to blow.

So I'm still pretty annoyed but loss of sleep over this is part of it so do believe Silas is one cranky bastard today but what that tells me is walk away from it for now and either crank up some jams or just crash (laughs).

In fact, sometimes peace comes in front of big ol' nasty pot of mac&cheese&peas, a delicacy I invented and which I freely admit has saved me from starvation multiple times. It's got all your vital nutrients: yer veggies, yer cheese, and yer pasta. That's a meal, man!

So, yeah, feeling somewhat better.

Apple iBooks Author Does Not Support EPUB

2012-01-25T05:52:00.004-05:00

There's no point in writing an editorial on the matter as the reason is obvious. Keeping things proprietary has been one of the most destructive forces in the industry.

The project is absolutely not abandoned as this is not the only way to market an ebook. It will take some research to review what it will take to convert what I have but I'll leave it to cool for now. I'm quite smoking mad about it. I knew that iTunes requires EPUB format for its commercial books and I made the mistaken assumption that iBooks Author would create the file but that does not appear to be true.

I'll research further. At worst this will slow me down.

Updated: Not pleased. The calibre program produced an EPUB document that was hopelessly-trashed. I don't have a good answer just now. I've applied to Apple for what is, in effect, a partnership program but its only purpose is to get permission to upload books. That still won't solve the formatting problem but it's another required step that must be completed.

Updated again: The missing piece is that one must export from iBooks Author to create a TMSP file that can in turn be imported into iTunes Producer for submission to the iBookstore. This is good in that the book is not lost but it's bad in that it can't work on anything but an iPad. Write your own editorial on that one.

I knew that the book would only work on an iPad but I didn't realize the chaos of the EPUB ebook format.

Final update: After much review, the only way to get anything into the Apple iBookstore is to pay a gatekeeper such as Lulu, etc as they can get you in ... for another cut of the profit. Apple takes 30% off the top. It's their shop, go for it. However, I am double damned if I'm going to pay some gatekeeper just to get my book out there. I'll give it away for free before I'll pay a leech and that's exactly what I'm doing. Free download at My Duck Soup!

Quick Update on the Book

2012-01-24T23:01:00.002-05:00

Everything has now been covered for a commercial release of "Lunagrams" to the iTunes Store to sell for $4.99. I'm doing the final proofing of it as I'm satisfied all the content I want for it is in there. Other poems exist but I didn't consider them candidates. That doesn't mean they'll pop up in a sequel but rather I'm making up my mind if they suck.

"The Death of Cynthia" is something I did not include and it was ok that people got mad with me for it but not that it made them mad with each other. That doesn't serve galactic peace in any kind of way so it was dropped. Maybe that's being wimpy but I believe it's a valid cut.

It wound up at 40+ poems at 70+ pages divided into eight chapters with the first being just the introduction. There is very little verbiage as it's not my intention to tell you what a poem meant to me as I don't consider it relevant to what it meant to you. Conversely, what it meant to you is relevant to me as it helps me understand my own words better and sometimes even my own thoughts.

This looks like it was effortless but really it took forty years to think them up, five or six years to write them down, and a couple of days to cut and paste them into a book. Nothing to it!

This is not losing focus as the lyrics have been part of it all along. I wanted them out and visible so now they will be. At the same time, I was adjusting the red and blue lasers so they're now ready for programmed control. Nah, no loss of focus here. I was willing to give a certain amount of time to the book and I'm most pleased that it didn't come close to taking that long.

So I like to make stuff and this is what I make and I feel pretty perky about it! (laughs)