Silly Runner Girl

Long after the Boston Marathon...

2012-06-02T13:51:00.002-04:00

So it's been a long long while since posting. I've since run/walked the Boston Marathon in over 85 degree weather (I even had the huge blisters to prove it). I finished in 7:00:15 but at least I crossed the finish line before they shut the clock off!! It was hard and definitely made me realize with the New York Marathon coming up in November I need to work on my Marathon Training (and cross my fingers that it's below 50 degrees!!) I must say the one person who go me through and helped me to know I could do it was David, he was my biggest cheerleader and I couldn't have crossed the finish line without him. My favorite moment of the entire race was getting to see his face before crossing the finish line!! After all is said and done I'm trying to move forward and while disappointed Dave didn't get picked in the NYM lottery with me I know he'll be there for me while I train and when I cross the finish line!! Now on to trying to eat healthier, I tried to "eat to live" and that was an epic fail. I was only reminded how hard it is for me to eat salad and considering on that diet the salad is the meal made it worse. I'm learning that maybe I just need to take out the sugar and add more veggies! If I can do that hopefully I won't "crave" certain foods anymore and will enjoy what I eat more. We'll see how that goes! But, I'm just happy that I have the man of my dreams to share all trials and tribulations with, he probably doesn't feel all that lucky though when I whine a lot but he's good about it!!! That's all I can ask for! :)

My absolute favorite picture from the Boston Marathon!

By the way we're trying to transition to the whole minimalist thingy!! I'll let you know how it goes later on!

Been a bit busy...

2011-10-30T11:53:00.002-04:00

So whilst trying to get back in the swing of my whole working out routine, I managed to gain like 10lbs then loose the 10lbs all the course of just a few weeks. Which always makes me ask, why in the world can take months to loose like 5lbs but like weeks to gain 10lbs grrrrrrrr it just lets frustration settle in. But, I do have to admit, the gain probably had a lot to do with this:

This was my burger with a yummy Chocolate shake, soooo bad lol

Here's my boyfriends yummy burger with a Mountain Dew!!

But, you at least have to try a psuedo man (and WOman) vs. food challenge once right!

At least we didn't almost do this...

That of course was with the help of these!!

In the long 3 weeks since my last post; I've been working with a trainer and running lots. Also, I got to spend some time with that hot guy pictured above! I am still trying to get my eating back on track it can be really hard to remember to eat sometimes and to just eat enough and one of the reason I didn't run yesterday. I knew I hadn't eaten enough the day before and would have probably only made myself sick if I tried to run the 6 miles I had planned. Then, it snowed last night and made October feel like the middle of January which iced up the streets and gave me a good excuse to stay in and play video games. But, I am proud to say I have been cooking and eating wayyyyy healthier since my total indulgence of the 1lb burger. Every once in a while you do have indulge whether it be an awesome burger or whatever you crave. You do only live once!! It just can't be an every day thing or even every week thing.

This weekend, I cooked up a storm and made a healthy yummy tuna noodle casserole from scratch and after it came out of the oven I now remembered how much I hate low-fat cheese. Why do they even make that stuff, I think next time I'll either skip the cheese or just go light with the real thing. A peanut butter corn chowder, that is way yummier than it sounds. Chicken nuggets with homemade whole wheat bread crumbs that I can use during the week for lunches as additions to maybe a salad or some potatoes and a veggie! Today I will be making an awesome healthy whole wheat banana bread (this recipe i'll post later with pics), this banana bread gets the work stamp of approval and I'm always asked how it comes out soooo moist!

Now off to be just a little lazy and rest and play video games!! I'll definitely be running (gotta get that base building back in for my marathon training) and working out extra hard to tomorrow with my trainer! YAY!

What do you think of healthy baked goods? Any Favorites?

Getting back into action...

2011-10-06T14:28:00.000-04:00

So I've been away from writing and the gym for about a month and half.

I took an awesome trip to Ecuador for 2 weeks with my Sweetie and his family! I got to meet his extended family and had a great time. The music and dancing was really fun and the food was phenomenal!! Then due to Hurricane Irene that hit New England our flight was canceled (it took dealing with LAN airlines who I must say had some of the worst customer service when it came to helping us get new flights) and we were in Ecuador an extra week. It was truly an awesome trip to a beautiful country along the coast line. It was awesome being by the water everyday reminded me a lot of home.

So coming home and getting back in to my everyday routine took some time, I was so getting used to the idea of dancing being a good work out lol! So a week after I got back I booked 3 weeks with my awesome personal trainer Jackie, 2 sessions a week 30 mins. each. Also, group sessions w/ a gym buddy for 45 mins. one day a week with said trainer (who likes to torture us with doing lots of stuff on one leg).

We all know trainers can really such a big expense taking as many deals as you can is key when using a personal trainer, unless your loaded how can you afford over $500 for just a few hours. Awesome enough I came home to a $59 deal for 3 hrs of one on one training and $100 for 4hrs of group training. This is on top of starting up my gym schedule of boot camp classes and spin has put my butt back in gear and my legs and arms and abs, oh my all are feeling it!

Now I just need to throw running back in there!! I'm still crossing my fingers that even with being number 18 on the wait list for my employers charity team, I might have a chance to run Boston Marathon next April!

How do you get back into working out after a long vacation?

Is a personal trainer for you...

2011-08-08T19:57:00.001-04:00

At first I was hesitant to pay for a personal trainer, after all I am already paying a gym membership fee. Why should I fork over another $375 for one on one training? After all this only included 2 half hour sessions a week for 5 weeks.

Well, for me the decision was more about focusing on my lack of strength training. Cardio I do plenty of, with all the running and spin classes. But, strength training I was completely lost as to what to do and to do it on my own without a class or dvd to tell me what to do can be boring. I often find my mind wandering and thinking about the workout being over if I don't have someone constantly telling me which exercise is next. But, after my sessions with the trainer I find it easier to focus on which exercises I want to do and do them properly.

If you go enter into personal training with a goal in mind a personal trainer is a great way to go if you can spare the extra cash. You'll get the someone to advise you on exercises specific to you. Which for me is awesome, I do tons of leg stuff to keep my legs strong and to help with getting them toned. Having the experience of working with a trainer definitely makes me think more about how I do certain exercises, especially when weight training and making sure I'm lifting properly. I've gone lifting 8lbs to 15lbs and can't wait until I'm using those 20lb weights. I definitely started to see more definition in my arms after working with my trainer and a few more inches off my waist. Just to give you an idea of where I started from about 4 years I was a size 24, I am now between a size 12/10. Getting down to a size 8 is my goal!

Here is a great guide I was given (the exercises are totally up to you); I usually run at least 3 miles before going through this routine (which makes for an hour long work out) and pick one or two of the variations for each body part:

Start with a chest exercise, back, legs, abs in that order 1st; then arms, shoulders, legs abs again.

Ex. of Chest Exercises:
Pushups (always my favorite)
Push up position - tap shoulders
Starfish

Ex. of Back Exercises:
Back rows: there are lots of variations of this exercise. You can always add reverse lunges to it as well (sometimes I add squats because those are my favorite) or do this is stork position.

Ex. of core/abs workouts:
Planks!!!! (you really can never do enough planks, there are tons of different versions as well)
Russian twists
Catapillars :)
Extended V Sit ups
Scissors
Bicycles (frontwards and backwards)

Ex. of Leg Exercises:
Walking lunges (do these with weights by your side or do an over head press for added difficulty)
Wall sits (these are much more fun when you march in place while wall sitting)
Side lunges (definintely hold weights while doing this too, even add in a curl or press as you come up)
curtsie squats

Ex. of Arm Exercises:
Curls with lunges or squats are great - you can also do them while wall sitting
Dips
Tricep Kickbacks (one of my favorites, especially in stork position meaning your only standing on one leg while performing the exercise. This can also be used when doing the rows)
Side raises/front raises
Shoulder press - you can add that to curtsey squats or lunges as well...

Go through strength exercises 2x each 10-12x

What are some of your favorite exercises?

The long journey to a mile...

2011-08-05T20:36:00.000-04:00

My very first pair of running sneakers!

I did my walk test found out I was a neutral runner with a weird shaped foot! Yay for weird feet lol I purchased my fancy and might I add expensive running sneakers, Saucony Echelons (they are good for neutral heavy runners) who ever tells you running is a cheap sport is lieing or is not using the proper footwear. These cost me just around $100 and that's only because I'm lucky enough to get an employee discount as Marathon Sports!! Maybe those barefoot runners have it right and definitely keep running cheap, personally I need the cushion and support of a sneaker and the whole minimalist craze is just not for me as a newbie anyway.

I downloaded my 4 weeks to a mile running program to my iTouch from Personal Running Trainer and thought I was on my way. What I didn't count was how freaking hard running truly is. There is the whole getting the breathing down and aside from that with all the weight I was carrying my knees where not so happy I decided to take up this whole running thing. After my first week out of only walking and running my knees decided it was about time I experienced runner's knee. If you've ever experieneced this it's so not fun, it hurts to walk down stairs and iceing your knee at work and keeping it elevated proves a difficult task when you work at a desk all day. By the way sitting the majority of the day doesn't help either. But, I tried to listen to everyone and just let it heal and took the running easy. I would walk more and then try to run a little bit in between my multiple boughts with runner's knee. It would go from the right knee to the left and then back again.

Once I was all healed I then finished the program and ran my first mile without stopping, albeit a very slow mile BUT I didn't care I did it. I ran a mile! I was now hooked. I wanted to see how far I could run, so every week I would tell myself to turn around at the sign or run to that car and then you can turn around. I'd use objects around me as my mile markers and would just go. By the end of doing this I could run over 3 miles without stopping! I got so excited that I could actually do this and I started to see more pounds falling off. I went from a size 16 to a 14 and jumped for joy! After two half marathons and a 10k, I keep telling myself I can't believe this is me doing this. The same me who when I was much heavier would tell people "I don't run." Simply put I would not run unless something was chasing me or there was danger. I couldn't believe that running was something I could fall in love with and adapt my body to doing on a consistent basis!

Finishing that first mile opened my eyes and that I think was the day I realized I could accomplish anything. All it takes is persistence, hard work and patience. That was also the day I decided a Marathon was now on my list of life goals! This November I can't wait to register for the Boston Marathon and see my goal completed! Goal number two will be to run the New York Marathon with my Sweetie! We were denied this year, but will keep trying every year until we either get picked or finally get automatic entry!

Just remember we are only limited by the limitations we put on ourselves.

If your a runner how did you feel when you ran your first mile or first race?!

Some of the little things that make me smile!

2011-08-03T18:53:00.002-04:00

Gaming with my Sweetie, considering gaming is how we met it will never get old to kills things in a co-op game!! I soooo can't wait to start chainsawing locusts again Sept. 20!!!! YAY for GOW 3!!!! :D (that gets a super smile)!


Can't wait to play as a girl character, FINALLY!

Playing Hide and Seek with my baby girl Lulu! (she's a wicked smart kitty)!

She thought I was in the kitchen, but I was behind here! She found me though!

Taking a spin class! Love my Tuesday and Friday early morning classes with Fitcorp Copley, when I can get my butt out of bed!

Love my cute spin shoes!! My ankles and feet thank me!!

An Episode of True Blood!!! Yes, I totally talk to the T.V. during these episodes and text my friend my disgust with just how dumb Sookie can be sometimes!

Yay for Eric being good this season!!

Finding a new recipe for healthier treats and snacks! If you've never stumbled upon This blog it's a must visit even if your not a vegan! Also, This blog! Flourless chocolate cookies are the bomb!

I love baking yummy treats and it always makes me smile more when they healthy treats! And no one in my office can ever tell the difference between something bad for you when the food is free!! Because I can't keep those healthy treats in my house I'd eat them all, unless I use the freezer! But, somethings are better shared!

What's something that makes you smile??

I am an emotional eater, there I said it.

2011-08-02T21:09:00.000-04:00

When to eat and what to eat, used to be two questions I always had on my mind. I would see a Godiva shop and splurge on a box of 16 truffles and eat them all in one sitting. I would order a large pizza and eat the whole large pie over the course of a few hours. If we went to taco bell or McDonalds I would order food for 5 people, only it would all end up being eaten by me. A half gallon of ice cream, yup I’ve eaten that too.

I used to be able to eat this entire sundae alone, now I share it with my Sweetie as a treat!

Did I do this because I was hungry? No, I did it because I was lonely, sad, bored and would often become disgusted with myself afterwards. I needed something I could control and I ate to fill the void of everything missing in my life. I felt if I was never going to change anyway why not just eat, at least I'll enjoy it for a little while. I didn’t own a scale and didn’t want to. I didn’t want to know how much I weighed, the thought scared me. I avoided having my picture taken at all costs, because I didn’t want to see the result of what years of overeating did to me. If it was fried, chocolaty, and sugary or full of cheese it would be on my plate.

An entire sandwich from Katz's Deli was something I probably could have finished, but I was stuffed after just half!

I would often just sit in front of the tv and eat. I craved ice cream, chocolate, cheeseburgers and pizza. Everything that was bad for you and I didn't just eat these foods rarely, I ate them daily. Often I would eat these foods in copious amounts, because I never felt full or satisfied with my meal. Even though after eating I would feel guilty putting all that food in my body, but the self loathing would only make me feel worse and want to eat more. I knew it was wrong to eat so much, but I couldn’t stop. Honestly, I didn't want to. If I felt sad or stressed I ate. I’d get comments about having a pretty face, if only I lost the weight. I could only shop at plus size shops, I often dreamed of walking into a Gap and buying something off the rack. When I saw myself fitting in a size 24 that was my breaking point, I didn’t want to do this to myself anymore.

But, how could I stop? How could I begin to get healthy? The first step was wanting to do it. I first started slowly integrating exercise in my daily routine. I bought dvd’s and would walk. Getting my eating habits under control was still very hard. When I would overeat I would stop working out because it seemed like it was a never ending cycle. When I first started I expected quick results, I wanted to be healthy and fit. I wanted there to be some miracle for what I had done to my body. For someone to come and wiggle their nose and make all the fat go away.

I soon learned there is no miracle, no magical genie with 3 wishes. There is only hard work and patience. Overtime I saw the weight coming off and I would get excited, but then I’d fall back into my old pattern of eating too much. I would convince myself that it was okay, I was working out right so I could eat more. I decided to purchase a scale and keep track of my weight loss. This began my battle with the scale. I would get discouraged when the numbers jumped and excited with then fell. It was a roller coaster relationship that would often drive me back to my ice cream when the numbers weren't where I felt they should be. It wasn’t until I started running that I realized I needed to make sure I eating the proper foods and not just eating to fill a void. I needed to figure out what hunger was.

Here's a tip or two I learned along the way. If begin to crave a food; STOP and think about and I mean really think about it. Are you craving the food because your hungry or because your feel you need to have it to make you feel better or maybe your bored. First you need to start distinguishing between your wanting foods because they make you feel better and needing food because your hungry. If your not hungry get a glass of water and drink, maybe your cravings are you just being thirsty. Sure it's not that fudgy brownie or those few scoops of ice cream, but are you really hungry for those things? I've also stopped and written down how I was feeling when I began to think of cookies, brownies and ice cream. BUT, do not and I repeat do not deny yourself of these foods, that will more often than not lead you down the same road of just feeding your emotions. Learning moderation is key. Fitting foods into two groups will help a lot. You should have your everyday foods (whole grains, proteins, veggies and fruits; keeping the processed food to an absolute minimum) and your occasional foods (like ice cream, candy, cookies and brownies).

Learning to use substitutes like honey, agave syrup or even maple syrup in place of sugar is also a good habit to start. I personally do not like artificial sweeteners and feel they aren't exactly the best for your body either, others feel the opposite and use these quite regularly in place of sugar. But whatever you choose, learning to make healthier choices should be thought number one when picking a meal. You have to start to really look and think about what your eating and not just shoveling the food in your face. Once you do this, your on your way to stop feeding your emotions and start feeding your hunger.

It’s not easy and it never will be. You have to want to do make the right choices and you have to want this for yourself. You have to want to put in the hard work the long hard road to healthy takes. The world is full of trigger foods. I know what mine are and do my best to avoid them. Learn what your trigger foods are and keep a list. Treat yourself at least once a month (more or less depending on how active you are or how much self control you have). I treat myself so that I don't feel deprived, but this is maybe a once a month thing for me. Sometimes I'll have a treat one day on the weekend. I try my best to keep the treats to a minimum (it's not always easy). The foods I listed above are not my everyday foods as they once were. Often I am asked what diet I am on, and I always reply I am not on a diet I just changed my eating habits to eat healthier options. I cook more and eat more whole foods and less processed. Meaning my oven actually gets turned on more than a few times a month and the microwave is no longer used for heating a frozen meal.

I have noticed a difference not only in the way I feel, but also in my energy levels. I am still ever changing my relationship with food and I take it one day at a time. But, it is no longer this guilt ridden bowl of ice cream I eat alone. It’s a plate of veggies with brown rice and chicken or bowl of whole wheat pasta with veggies and sauce the night before a long run. Food is still something I still have control over, only now I choose the best options available within my budget and the best options for my body. Overcoming Emotional Eating will be a journey I will always be on, but one I am happy to take to be the healthiest me I can be!

I know longer miss the ice cream! I make frozen banana nice cream instead w/ a teaspoon of honey and peanut butter so freaking YUMMY!!!!

What are some of your trigger foods?

10 Songs to keep you running!

2011-08-01T21:31:00.001-04:00

Along with the summer comes the great weather to get out there and hit the pavement! What better way to keep those feet moving than with a motivational and upbeat playlist!

Love my little pink shuffle, if you haven't gotten one yet this is a must for every runner girl!

Here are some of favorites tunes currently keeping me going on my ever changing playlist:

Party Rock Anthem (LMFAO)
Sunny Side Up (Martina McBride)
Miss Independent (Ne-Yo)
Dirty Dancer (Enrique Iglesias ft. Usher)
Starstrukk (3OH3 ft Katy Perry)
Pretty Girl Rock (Keri Hilson)
Till I Collapse (Eminem feat. Nate Dogg)
Where Them Girls At (David Guetta feat Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj)
End Of Time (Beyonce)
Keep Your Head Up (Andy Grammer)

For me it always motivates me to get out there and run when I add some new music to my playlist! The more awesome music I have to keep me going, the longer I run and don't realize when I've hit mile 10! I've heard of runners who run without music and I just don't know how they do it. I've had my ipod die on me around mile 3 of a 6 mile run and I just couldn't wait for it to end. I was bored to tears and so tempted to stop and just walk home.

What's your favorite running song and if you don't listen to music what keeps you going when your out there?

Turning 30

2011-07-31T21:32:00.007-04:00

At the Royal Rumble (yes I still watch wrestling, don't tell anyone lol)!

Jan. 30th 2011 I entered my 30's in the best shape of my life and with the love of my life. It couldn't have been a better day or a better month. Got an e-mail from ticket master showing what events were happening in my town and I was like omg I've always wanted to go to the Royal Rumble and it's on my birthday! I forwarded the e-mail to Dave and we made plans to go he got the tickets, we invited our brothers to come along and had a blast!

It's was fun!! Those were taken before all the fun started in the ring anyway!!

I got to blow out my candles and turned 30. Everyone always said turning 30 would be scary, because I'll be old and being 30 means you have be all adult like and what not. Well for me turning 30 was AWESOME! It was the best birthday I've ever had in my life. Turning 30 for me was full of happiness and joy and will be some of best memories ever! I am having the time of my life and those times have only just begun.

I've come to the realization that there is this big 'ol world out there and I have only yet to see maybe even a quarter of it. I want to see all there is to see and then some. Sometimes it feels like I finally awoke from a really long sleep. As if I were only half living my life and when I did, life became this place of wonder and full of entirely new experiences. I am doing things I never thought I would be able. Running a single mile was something 4 years ago that never crossed my mind. Setting my goals on running a marathon was something I never in my entire life thought was something I could accomplish, but I will. There are so many opportunities I have opened myself up to, so many things I used to think if only I could loose the weight maybe just maybe I would be able to do that.

You never really understand how hard of time and how many things are closed off to you when all you think about is the weight. Is someone going to say something or make some snide comment, am I too heavy for that ride, will I be able to walk that long and will I be able to fit in that seat. There are so many things that you close yourself off too and in turn you isolate yourself. When I finally realized I wanted to be free of the prison I had enclosed myself in I opened up a whole new world. I can truly say I have never been happier (most of that goes to having the best guy any gal could ever ask for) but the rest goes to the choices I've made to change myself. Not only the changes in how I look, but how I think and feel about myself. Turning 30 couldn't have been any better and turning 31 will just be the bestest. I can't wait to experience the rest of what life has to offer!!

Theme song for my 30's: She's a Butterfly, By Martina McBride

Our first time...

2011-07-30T18:55:00.020-04:00

Our first time running a half marathon that is...

I thought we were ready run and finish, clearly Dave (that's my Sweetie!) had other ideas.

It all began, when I realized I could run further and further and I wanted to run as far as I could and then thought what next. Well a race of course, what else could we do. I had been reading a Boston Marathon training guide among others, and had heard about the Hyannis Half Marathon. I set my sights on my goal and asked Dave if he would join me on this scenic jog HA! He agreed, but who knew this winter would be ridiculous and training would be pretty non-existant. Oh yeah the Hyannis Half Marathon is in Feb, the 27th to be exact. So training was during the winter, well I love the winter and absolutely love running in the cold so all the more reason to pick a winter half marathon.

We tried to train as much as we could, I had joined a gym by this point so would get in treadmill runs alongside my cross training. I must admit though treamill running will NEVER compare to running outside with the scenery passing you by, the whir of the machines and the smack of sneakers not really the same (plus you don't smell all the sweatiness as much when the wind blows it away). I kept thinking even if we didn't train as much we would be okay, what was 13.1 miles; that's NOTHING. So my longest run put in was around 9 miles and by this point Dave's longest run was around 5 miles. Yes, we both know this is not so good when you should have at least run 12 miles two weeks before the half marathon. We still knew we were going to run, there was no changing my mind and I kept the motivation alive!

We soaked up as much as we could on running a half marathon and I'd get questions like, ummm why aren't we doing a 10k or a 5k first. Well I just figured why not grab the bull by horns do the long run first and then we do the 10k's and the 5k's they will seem like a breeze. I liked my logic, it made lots of sense to me. Tons of people thought I was crazy, especially since this was our first race ever. We read so much on how to train, what to eat and you what we ended up with BEING TOTALLY CONFUSED. There is wayyyyyy to much information on this stuff and everyone has different thoughts on what to eat, how many miles to run and how to do this properly. We pretty much picked and choosed amongst all the information what worked for us.

So finally as Feb. 27th was fast approaching and Dave arrived, we did a short 3 miler in the rain as a pre-race run. Then we rested, ate and packed up for our overnight stay down on the cape. We went saturday picked up our bib numbers and I started to get really excited, scared not me. I couldn't wait to start running!!! I just kept telling Dave that we'd make it and we could just walk whenever we needed to for a rest but we would be fine and cross that finish line.

And so we ran!!!

The race itself was beautiful, it did snow a bit but the weather was perfect (at least to me). Unfortunately I realized my nervousness of running a race comes out by having to use every single bathroom stop available (TMI I know, but that really eats up time). So when I would stop to go, Dave got a rest break. We did walk for at least 2/3 miles of the entire race, and we finished around 3:15. We were just happy to finish our first half marathon!! It was an awesome experience and I was so happy to not do it alone. Having my Sweetie right there running with me made the experience 20 times better and helped so much just to have him grab my hand when I needed to walk for a rest and to just know he was there was worth the soreness and pain after we finished!

WE DID IT!!!

In the beginning there was food...

2011-07-30T13:41:00.004-04:00

It's been about 4 years since my journey began. When I saw these pictures from our family trip to TN I was shocked, I didn't see myself the way the camera did. This was my wake up call. I thought to myself, how could I let this happen? How did I let myself become this huge person? I was content with my life; I had a good job, my own apartment and I had food. What more did I need?

Food was both my best friend and my enemy. Food was the one thing in my life I could control or so I thought, more often than not it controlled me. I constantly thought about it and would at times not eat at all in hopes I could just ignore the thoughts of the chocolate mousse or truffles and they would go away. I would go out of my way to make sure no one knew just how much I ate, so more often than not I ate at home alone. I could eat an entire cake and a pint of ice cream, that would be my dinner. It made me feel better at least for a little while. It took me a long time to realize that I was not happy with how I looked and was not happy with my life. If I wasn't happy with myself then what could I do to fix it.

It took someone telling my I needed to treat myself and this started me on my way to see what I could do to make myself look better on the outside and try to stop placating the inside with food. I started by buying a couple products from Aveda (this addiction will definitely have to be another post love their products) as a treat and then I started a few work out dvd's (which I did off an on) and I replaced over eating with video games. I would work out at home and try to eat the best I could, but still over ate. I did loose weight over the course of a year and a half I lost about 70lbs and got stuck at around 225lbs. I just didn't know how to portion what I ate. But, whenever I would feel like I shouldn't eat and knew I wasn't hungry I would play a game. This helped a lot, when I found an awesome group of people to play with online using my xbox.

Once I started to feel better about the way I looked on the outside, it internalized when I would hear someone say "You look great!". I then had to learn how to accept the comments. That was hard at first, to just learn that it's okay to say thank you. I am still learning that, but after so many years of being the big girl and not getting complimented ever even now it can be hard sometimes to just say thank you and not make a joke about it.

But on to happiness; the gaming in turn helped me find the love of my life who has been my biggest supporter and will never know just how much he has helped me not only find happiness but figure out that there are no limitations in life and you can do just about anything you set your mind to. Around the time I plateaued at 225lbs was when I met my awesome man, and he mentioned in conversation that he and his mom went running (I don't think he realizes he was the one that sparked my interest in the sport). Well this made me think, huh running I wonder if I could do that.

One day when I couldn't find those reebok easytone sneakers at citysports in my size I figured you know what let me just try that whole running thing. I walked over to marathon sports got fitted for running sneakers and downloaded a 4 weeks to a mile program for my iPod and began. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, my first week out I realized that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was and my knees told me so. After so many years of carry lots of weight my knees were not happy with this whole running thing. They told me so, in many painful ways. Lets just say that little 4 week program to a mile turned into 6 mos. I finally ran my first mile without stopping August 2010 and haven't stopped since. Running has given me a whole knew way to look at life and the way I live it.