Silver Screening

Wilt

2013-08-25T21:59:00.001+05:30

Sometimes words are all you need to hurt her, wilting like a flower she reaches for you; yet you trample her will further,the hope that she held in her heart is torn apart with no mercy. Lord, bless them both, for they know not what they say or do. Wipe her tears, and tell her she will have someone again that will let her live again...today just be strong, for today it isn't her day...

Shayaris

2013-07-26T01:56:00.001+05:30

Woh hausle hi kya jinke peeche ek dard na ho, manzile hi kya jinko tumhari pehchaan na ho

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Ek adhoori se raat hai, ek adhoora sa sapna; Mud ke na dekha woh tha kabhi jo apna...

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Kabhi koi puchche humse, ki jage ho yuh humare liye, ya soye hi nahi ki itna bikhar gaye..

By Akansha Pradhan

Waqt ne di nahi ijaazat (Poem)

2013-07-23T15:24:00.001+05:30

Waqt ne di nahi ijazat ki hairan main ruka raha,
Waqt ne di nahi ijazat ki hairan main ruka raha,
Un lamhon ko samete hue
Koi aor door main nikalta gaya

Na gila, na shikva koi,
Bas ek akelepan sa saathi
Daudte hue zindagi se puchcha,
Kya koi iraade hain?

Woh bhi khil khila ke yeh boli,
Yun to main zyaada nahin bolti,
Magar tum aage chalte rehna,
Pichche ghaana badal hai,
Par tum mat darna..

Ji kar dekho zara,
Ehsas karke dekho zara,
Khudh hee khud muskaan ki kirane tumhe kheechi chale aayengi..

Raat thi kaali, badal bhi the,
Par waqt ne di nahi ijaazat,
Ki hairan main ruka raha

By Akansha Pradhan

Poem - Goodbye, why? (Separation)

2013-05-27T08:54:00.001+05:30

It is time for me to say goodbye,
It is time for me to know the reasons why.

Why face the world alone, I ask,
This journey, you answer, was always your task.

Be happy dear one, you push me away,
And with tears, fear and anguish I find reasons to stay.

Push me away, yet you find the strength for,
To love me clearly required much more.

Memories will still bring me warmth and smiles,
Once in a while maybe my number, subconsciously, you shall dial.

I ask you again, is this all worth your while?
And yet I know as the winter sets in and in my darkest hour I will still look for you in the aisle.

Die we must, each day, little by little;
Yet the illusion of a life we create gives us hope to survive, clearly essential.

It is time for me to say goodbye,
It is time to accept I will never know the reasons why.

Movie Review: Tron Legacy

2010-12-22T15:49:00.000+05:30

So, I saw Tron Legacy a while back. It turned out to be pretty cool movie with nice special effects. I guess the special effects were what kept the audiences glued to their seat.

Now I haven’t seen the 1982 original Tron, so I won’t be able to tell you how the two movies syncs in, but based on my research it is not necessary to know the first movie’s plot to enjoy the sequel.

The Tron Legacy is about this kid, Sam Flynn, his dad, Kevin Flynn and The Grid.

The movie starts with Kevin explaining the mystical powers of The Grid to his son, Sam. He promises to take Sam to visit this “digital frontier” the next day. However, Kevin disappears. People search for him in vain, but he is nowhere to be found. Twenty years pass. Sam is now a young man who is now a total rebel.

One night, Kevin’s partner is paged on his number. It is Kevin Flynn’s number. The partner informs Sam and implores him to find out about his Dad. Sam is unconvinced. Yet through a fortunate series of circumstances he discovers his Dad’s work.

Kevin Flynn was on top of his game, he was into astrophysics, digital software and all such cool sounding next gen technologies. One day, he went too far. Kevin, who was originally a video game arcade owner, discovered a system where people could take digital avatars and enter the video game a.k.a The Grid.

The Grid, is something like Second Life, only this is a system where once you take a digital avatar here, you do not remain physically present in the real world. How? Well, the avatar is actually is the real video game user only his/her body has been converted from atoms and molecules to bits and bytes.

This may sound all weird and very Star Trek, but hey that’s the basic concept of the movie.

Anyway, then you see what the director hopes is an epic battle between the human mind and the ignobility of the search for perfection through better technology.

There are nice bikes, loads of LED lights, neon suits…and tech life forms. Interestingly, tech life forms are no better than humans in their desires, design or devious plans. The ending is eventful and surely leaves plenty scope for the third installment.

I would give it 3.5/5. The 3D graphics really stand out in this one, so that makes it a definite watch.

Stars: ***1/2

Genre: Science Fiction

Director: Joseph Kosinski

Stars:Jeff Bridges, Garrett Hedlund and Olivia Wilde

Comic Strip: Archbishop gets talking to Santa Claus

2010-12-17T19:14:00.002+05:30

Recently, in Buenos Aires, Argentina, an Archbishop called Santa Claus “a "fat, red man" who had no business in the Christmas celebrations of Christianity.

(You can read more at: http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/archbishop-calls-santa-claus-a-fat-red-man-72720?cp)

Obviously, it has outraged many people across the world. So Santa thought he needed to clear the air.

Here is a conversation between the Archbishop and Santa Claus at Batman’s secret lair.

Disclaimer: This is meant to be taken as a joke. So, don't shoot me yet!

Visit to the nuclear factory...

2010-12-17T04:19:00.001+05:30

These are statements you wouldn't want to hear at a nuclear facility when you are around...

"OOOOoooops!"

"Ooooo.... What does this button do?"

"Ahhh, I think I might have put in too much of that stuff in that reactor thingy..."
"Whoopsie daisy... That was close!"

"So when do we get to blow up some stuff, man???"

"It would be great if we could have a live specimen to test after effects."

"What the HELL DID YOU DO?!?!!?!"

"I really hate this job, I just want to kill this whole friggin' world."

"Clean & Clear with Nuclear - doesn't that sound better than our Foreign Policy on Nuclear Arms Proliferation?"

"I haven't done ANYTHING, it was always bubbling like that!!!"

"No, don't worry...this radiation causing mutation thing is just too over-rated anyway."

An interview with Santa Claus

2010-12-16T19:32:00.002+05:30

I have way too much time on my hands...;)

So, what is your present occupation?
A. Sneezing into muffins, wanna help?
B. Really? Are you always this ignorant?
C. Bringing world peace and playing Snake
D. Breaking the Tetris world record

So where are you from?
A. Dad says it's Earth, but I have a hunch he was thinking Venus.
B. I think Twitterverse would be more appropriate
C. Come on, enough of the Barack Obama references
D. Would I get a cookie if I say the Playboy mansion?

What's your background like?
A. I kinda like blue mountain theme on Gmail, but I am going for Hello Kitty on my blog next.
B. Star wars Yoda; yeah, he's my grand dad.
C. I'll just go to the back and check
D. Would you believe it, even if I told you so?

And, what are your religious beliefs?
A. I think Nemo did a better job playing a fish than Shrek did playing a Shrek!
B. God is one. So, please take an appointment before you contact me again.
C. I see stars at night. Holy cow!
D. Jedi

Ok, what's up with you man?
A. I think it's the Pickle jar. Can you help?
B. Pants? Why?
C. Haven't checked the attic in a while.
D. Hahaha. Yeah, I am a goat, you prick.

Facebook updates you shouldn’t post

2010-12-15T18:41:00.003+05:30

1. I have a rash. I need a doc. Puhleeease LIKE

2. This is such a beautiful day with cows grazing and cars honking in the fields

3. Yeah traffic is killing me. I just got run over by a truck!

4. Ooooo baby, baby, baby…ooooooo..

5. I danced naked with a monkey in the Saturday night party. See YouTube video!

6. Hey guys, wanna see what I stole from Spencers?

7. Do you think Dad will notice that dent in his car? Dammit! He is on my friend list!!

8. Don’t you love it when you sitting on pile of shit and posting status updates?

9. Yup, finally the constipation drugs started working. Pooooop!!

10. You still haven’t figured out that I am a big, smelly, hairy man posing as a babe!

Movies that should NOT be made

2010-12-15T13:47:00.000+05:30

1. I Know Who You Did Last Summer

2. Sheila Ka Budhapa

3. Honey you stomped my kids

4. Dirty Harry meets The Flintstones

5. Good, Bad and the Ugly Betty

6. The Magnificent Seven Pigs

7. Three Idiots and Still Counting

8. Armageddon after Tare Girey Zameen Par

9. The Anaconda Wears Prada

10. Chitty Chitty Gang Bang

11. i Robot, u Fool

12. Men in Black Bikinis

13. The Planet of Snails

14. Willy Wonka and the Cocaine Factory

15. The Golden Compass, Protractor and Geometry set

Top 10 lines to annoy the credit card telecaller

2010-12-14T17:00:00.008+05:30

We all have received annoying phone calls asking us to sign up for a new credit card, and they don’t take no so well so I present…

Top 10 lines to annoy the credit card telecaller:

1. Hey, do you deliver pizza?

2. This is Suresh Kalmadi; and yes I would love to defraud you.

3. I think you sound beautiful, why don’t you audition for horror nights.

4. Is that you Justin Bieber?

5. No matter what I cannot satiate your desire, can I? You need some spanking naughty thing, you...

6. You have reached the office of George W. Bush.

7. Mother, I think I hear voices in my head

8. I know you trying to talk, but all I hear is blah, blah, blaaaah…

9. Will you be my mommy?

10. I hate all types of cards - even greeting cards.

MISSED CALL...eeeks!

2010-12-14T13:41:00.001+05:30

you can run, but you cannot hide..HAHAHA

This is a story about a time when mobile tariff plans were sufficiently expensive….in fact, most of us were still figuring out how to squeeze in the longest message in one single SMS.

So this friend of mine, in fact this cute boy friend, figured out something sweet; well at first it was sweet…and then I realized I had given bait to a monster! This was the MISSED CALL.

The missed call now could have many connotations for people. However, Mr.BF said it meant quite literally, “I missed you…” and of course, it went on further, “I was thinking of you…”, “You are always in my thoughts…”etc etc.

At first, I thought, awww now isn’t that cute. It was indeed flattering to be missed. What an affectionate young man.

Then slowly the ugly MISSED CALL monster reared its head.

I could get 5 missed calls in the space of 15 mins, AND the intensity would viciously increase if I did not return it with my own “missed call”.

If I tried putting it on silent it would buzzzzzzzz the hell out of me. I couldn’t switch it off, and he knew that, because as a journo I had to be reachable.

Urggh!

Now those ‘sweet’ MISSED CALLs meant:

“I missed you…AND therefore, I believe it is my right to hound you like a maniac, even though you just told me that you are in an all important meeting and will not like to be interrupted”

“I was thinking of you…. HOWEVER, you must realize that I am too broke to actually call you. Are you SERIOUSLY still dating me?”

“You are always in my thoughts… BUT I am too idiotic to make real conversation, and you should seriously revaluate your options here!”

Oh yes, the MISSED CALL gnawed at my sensibilities. You could see the grey cells imploding.

Obviously (at least to me) there couldn’t be a happy ending, as all reasoning and logic failed. I was doomed to either listen to the vehement buzzing in my ears OR to break up.

We went our separate ways, until caller tunes happened. Yes. He would call just to listen to “cool music, yaar”.

Today, I want to thank telecom companies for having affordable tariff plans and having call block options :)

My request – can I get spam SMS block now, pleeeeeease!

Paul - the octopus - new Wallstreet analyst!

2010-07-08T12:33:00.000+05:30

So Paul got it right, again! Paul you can now become the next Bajan Daruwala or better still, the next Investments Head of Goldman Sachs! Think of the perks – your own private pool with other little octopuses, rubber duckies, and some genuine seaweed thrown in for enhanced aroma. Maybe a new tentacle loving girlfriend to hang out with!

In case your head was stuck under BPs oil spill, you’d know that Paul is the German octopus (no kidding!) who apart from being a water baby is a real psychic. This two-year-old has with surprising accuracy predicted the winning teams in the present FIFA World Cup.

Of course, many Argentineans have been circulating delicious octopus recipes post their incredible defeat and subsequent exit from WC 2010.

In fact, there is news that now punters are trying to be on the right side of Paul; some of them sustained heavy losses when they bet against his pick of the day.

Somehow it reminds me of the movie - Groundhog Day. Only I think Paul would prefer a part in James Bond’s Octopussy.

Think of a new 007 movie - Daniel Craig communicates with psychic Paul and uses his psychic powers to track down his new Bond girl and yes, the monstrous villain. The villain, while Bond was wooing his girls, has captured all octopuses, and now tries to control their minds. He deviously attempts to (surprise, surprise) gain total world domination. HAHAHAHA…

Paul sends a psychic message to Bond to get on with it, and they travel into the depths of the ocean. Paul zaps the villain’s brain and the new Bond girl falls head over heels for the sea creature. Paul becomes a big success and signs a new movie with X-MEN as Professor!!

Mr. Octopus – you a star. Enjoy your share of the limelight!

Khap Panchayats dictate your choice of life partner. Beware!

2010-06-25T13:42:00.000+05:30

Are you married? Or are you planning to marry? Did you know your girlfriend just might be your sister?! Yes, if the Khap Panchayats are to be believed then an astonishing number of married couples have figured in their list of an unnatural marriage between a brother and sister.

Background

A little background, before we get into it: The Khap Panchayats were formed in ancient times as an administration system. To simplify things villages around one geographical area became one Khap. It was like a democratic electorate that tried to resolve problems and provide constructive ideas for the development of their people.

In today’s times however things have deteriorated. The Khap Panchayat is now a self-proclaimed justice system, with a set of ‘rules’ and ‘acceptable behavioural norms’ based on certain people’s perception/ interpretation of tradition and the morally just. It now decides who can be given their personal version of a ‘fatwa’ and killed in the name of religion and morals.

What’s Gotra?

The main issue is the ‘gotra’ – which is essentially lineage defined usually by tracing the male line of descent.

One interpretation on the web, which talks of the gotra as part of the Vedic period is: “In general, gotra denotes all persons who trace descent in an unbroken male line from a common male ancestor. Panini defines gotra for grammatical purposes as ' apatyam pautraprabhrti gotram' (IV. 1. 162), which means 'the word gotra denotes the progeny beginning with the son's son. When a person says ' I am Kashypasa-gotra' he means that he traces his descent from the ancient sage Kashyapa by unbroken male descent.” Source: http://www.vedah.net/manasanskriti/Brahmins.html.

Just to clarify, the concept of gotra does not apply only to Brahmins; this meaning is for your understanding of the concept of gotra / lineage.

So, the issue is?

So, now if you have a couple that can trace back their lineage to same fore-father, then by that concept the Khap Panchayat makes you siblings. Marriage, they say, will be a violation of societal norms. And, if you go against them, they will have your life taken! These are “socially justifiable” ‘Honour Killings’. (for god knows whose honour!)

Now the issue is, the gotra started in the Rig Veda era, which means a gazzilion years ago, and to be honest we are all descendents of a few humans who started life on the Earth. The Bible calls them Adam and Eve. So yeah, by that standard we are all related! Of course, we do not know, or care. If we did, one we wouldn’t have multiplied at this amazing rate and second, we pretty much wouldn’t be warring and bombing our own siblings. Ok, digressing here. But you get the picture.

What logic, boss!

The concept of now murdering innocent loved ones is stupid. And what is worse is that many a time, the parents, brothers and other family members are involved in the actual act of violence! Then they come on the news at nine and proudly say, “Poor us, we had to kill them. We cannot expose our future generation to such morally vicious acts committed in the name of love.” Yes guys, but telling your kids that murder is ok in the name of religion, is perfectly fine. Yes, yes, sir such amazing logic! Why did we not think of this earlier? Bush Junior could have used that excuse, instead of lying about invisible WMDs (weapons of mass destruction)!

The fact is that the Khap Panchayat has disrespected even the Supreme Court’s recent guilty verdict on the murder of a young couple ordered by these ‘vigilantes’. They say the Constitution needs to change to accommodate their views: Change the Hindu Marriage Act, and add the gotra bit to make a million marriages impossble. Kill love. Yahoo!

It is shocking their logic has influenced people in a modern city like Delhi, India, to commit such crimes. What has happened to the law? We can’t seem to give justice to anyone. Not to the Bhopalis, not to the 26/11 victims, not to the innocent couples…. GOI needs to declare the organisation illegal and not only arrest, but punish the offenders. Enough of this buffoonery.

Further reading

Just for further reading this is National Human Rights Commission’s take on the subject from their website http://nhrc.nic.in/dispArchive.asp?fno=2064:

NHRC's statement on the alleged diktats of Khap Panchayats

New Delhi, May 13th, 2010

The National Human Rights Commission has taken note of media reports alleging that the Khap (Caste) Panchayats in Haryana are indulging in acts of violence against the Hindu couples marrying in the same gotra. It has also taken note of their alleged demand of an amendment in the Hindu Marriage Act, banning the marriages in the same gotra on the ground that such marriages will amount to marriage between a brother and a sister unacceptable among Hindus as per tradition.

The Commission is of the view that no one has the right to take law in his hand by violating an individual's right to life in the name of tradition.

The Commission has issued notices to the public authorities wherein complaints or media reports have alleged violence against the couples married in the same gotra or inter-caste in parts of Haryana and Western Uttar Pradesh, and has asked them to take action against those responsible for such acts violating the human rights of the people.

It has also asked the concerned State Authorities in Uttar Pradesh in a particular case of this nature to inform the Commission about the steps taken by them to deal with such issues for preventing interference by the Khap Panchayat in the Criminal Justice System (Case No. 16755/24/2005-06-WC).

The issue of amendment to the Hindu Marriage Act, banning same gotra marriages is a subject matter of wider debate keeping in view the national perspective on the social, cultural and traditional aspects, as well as an individual's right to liberty as enshrined in the Constitution.

Movie Review: Raavan

2010-06-23T16:20:00.000+05:30

This was a South-Indian movie remade for the Hindi-speaking audience. The great director, Mr. Mani Ratnam fielded this one to the public.

The story is about this confused and angry man, Beera. He has many shades to his character – 10 shades actually, representing symbolically the 10 heads of Raavan. He kidnaps ‘Sita’ of this Ramyana, which is played by Aishwarya Rai to bring the ‘Ram’ of the film to him. Ram/ or Dev (Lord) as he is called is angry and beside himself. He will bring Beera to justice. However, his character departs from Ram now. Dev is now a regular mean policeman, who can go to any length to bring back his wife.

Beera is shown as a good man who due to his circumstances of life has gone bad. His isolation from reality, makes him act weird and make odd noises. He wants to strike fear in everyone’s heart. But the jungles and the people in the village are his family. It is now very Veerapan style khichdi. The village people want to protect their saviour, who protects them, feeds them and in general is a hero to the local village folk.

Anyway, so Madam is now trying to escape and act all bold, but she is slowly seeing the other side of the picture. She learns why she was kidnapped and is horrified. The circumstances change and predictably we have our Raavan falling hard for our damsel in distress.

The ending shows how deceitful the modern day Ram / Dev is, and how he uses his suspicion for his wife to his advantage.

Raavan as a film that looks good. It has beautiful shots of the jungle, a beautiful Aishwarya Rai, and breathtaking shots of steep cliffs. The unfortunate part is that it is a bit disjointed. It seems like a lot of reel was edited to make it slick. The effect was a film with abrupt scenes, and one too many songs for no apparent reason.

If there is one good thing to watch for is for Govinda. Yes, he is in the film!

Raavan movie cast and crew details

Star cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai, Govinda, Vikram, Bipasha Basu, Ravi Kissan, Suhasini and Tejaswini Kolhapure

Director and Story: Mani Ratnam

Banner: Big Pictures

Producer: Sharda

Music: A.R. Rehman

Lyricist: Gulzar

Presented by: Madras Talkies

Raavan movie Release date: 18th June 2010

Star: *** (that was one extra star just for the cinematography)

Bhopal - This isn't over yet

2010-06-21T16:40:00.002+05:30

Bhopal – a city in Madhya Pradesh, India. Also, a city that has been scarred both physically and emotionally.

In Dec, 1984, something inside the Union Carbide malfunctioned. It led to the release of a lethal gas – a mixture of MIC, when mixed with water.

This lethal chemical was being produced and stored by the plant in the heart of the city with thousands of people living in close quarters. People who were not aware that elsewhere in the world such close proximity would not have been permitted legally.

It was a failure of the company, crew, municipal authorities and more. Cost cutting measures had been started by the parent company sitting outside India. Maintenance workers had been cut down to half, despite various incidents reports coming much before the 1984 tragedy. Faulty equipment was not replaced, safety processes were lax and the motive was purely capitalistic.

The tragedy is that it killed thousands of people then – and it STILL kills and harms people today. There are ill formed children born each day. Some have tumours for eyes, some have twisted limbs, many have ‘broken’ smiles… And no one really cares.

There were court orders; in fact criminal proceedings have been on since the last 25 years. It hasn’t helped – nor did the paltry sums that were initially given by Union Carbide as compensation. In fact, much of it hasn’t been released even now!

In fact TOI story states, “The compensation amount — Rs 713 crore, paid by Union Carbide — was meant for about 1 lakh persons but has been distributed among nearly 6 lakh people. Of the Rs 713 crores, Rs 113 crores was for loss of livestock and property. The balance Rs 600 crore distributed among 5.74 lakh persons works out to about Rs 12,410 per victim on average. In contrast, in the Uphaar tragedy in Delhi, families of those who died got between Rs 15 lakh to Rs 18 lakh each, while injured persons got Rs 1 lakh each. In addition, they got interest at the rate of 9% per annum for the roughly six years that the legal proceedings took.” Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Bhopal-Gas-Tragedy-Endless-nightmare/articleshow/5294330.cms

What do we want – simple, justice. Two years isn’t exactly the type of jail term that can be handed out for killing, even on a highly conservative estimate, 10,000 people in 1984 and the thousands more born with defects since then. Our liability laws need to know how to deal with such tragedies and how to penalize companies that operate within the Indian territory. Look at BP’s penalty case…what would have happened if the oil spill was in the Indian Ocean. (Read: http://www.business-standard.com/india/news/bhopal%5Cs-ongoing-tragedy/397369/)

Life is to be valued and respected. You cannot ever completely compensate, but there needs to be a sincere attempt. Today the tanks still leak toxins, the water table is contaminated, even breast milk now is toxic and so many people still struggle to receive access to basic amenities.

Just because they are poor, does not mean they have no friends and can be forgotten. As long as we care, they will not be forgotten – not in 10 years, 25 years or 100 years.

Pledge your support on amnesty.org

Experience Air… AAAAH!

2010-02-19T16:01:00.003+05:30

This happened a couple years ago.... in an airline I'll call Experience Air.. It's a true experience which I had written about, but I don't want to name the airline here...

On March 25 I flew down to Delhi – my first on a low cost airline. And for Christ sake was it shaky!

Ok, so we arrive at the tarmac to board the plane. My father travelling with me mulls over...trying to decide whether one tyre really has lesser air than the other, or is it his flight of imagination. I blissfully unaware climb on board, only to discover I am stuck with a young mother with a wailing baby in her arms. Ah, I decide, there goes my sleep. Thankfully soon after the child seems amused by a plastic giraffe his mother offers Bunny – that is what the lady keeps calling him.
The plane starts…thuk thuk, dichik dichik, thuk thuk….vroooom vrroooooooooooooooom. I am not used to so much of noise and certainly not the amount of jolts during the run up that are usual of train travel. My father and I look at each other…we are still more amused than afraid. The airplane noses up into the air and the engine seems to be struggling under the pressure. It reminds me of my 10 year old Maruti when it got stuck in a 1-foot deep 'pot-hole' last monsoon.
.
Finally we are in the air; Bunny is quickly losing interest in the yellow and purple polka dotted giraffe and is tugging at his mother's T-shirt for something more intellectually stimulating. Sadly, mum dear only takes the giraffe and tries to make it jump around on the now open table in front. Really, do giraffes jump… it seems that is what my rabbit named co-passenger is thinking as he gawks and tries to catch his plastic buddy in action.
I quickly put on my ear-plugs, turn on the Sony Walkman that my boyfriend loaned me as my cell phone conked off sometime back and relax. The familiar strains of Bryan Adams, Richard Marx and Westlife soothe my soul.
The air hostess – Garima – soon comes along vending vegetable croissants combos and some sandwich. I buy the croissant combo – it tastes horrible…but then all airplane food does. The fruit cake though is very scrumptious. Poor dad tries eating some of the ice cold croissant with similar success or should I say displeasure!
All the while the plane seems to be a bit too turbulent. And I am qualified to make that statement – frankly if I did not know for sure that I was born in a hospital, I would swear I made my big entry on an airplane.
Now, I am sleepy, but Bunny's mum wants to make small talk.
So, which class are you in?
Urgh, I am tired of convincing people that I am definitely an adult and working.
Oh, so you are a journalist…when are you getting married?
Now, why is that my being an adult mean I necessarily need to be married, anyway I grumble on, amiably of course, saying yes I will some day. Unsatisfied, she goes on: Oh, so you are looking for a suitor? Ok, what is this? FBI for interrogating eligible spinsters. Or is this like a matrimony.com on air. Oh, and who is travelling with you, she starts off again.
Thankfully I decide to play with baby Bunny and in turn distract my interrogator. The journey is quickly ending; I smile at the prospect of seeing my mum and brother again. Dichik, thuk thuk, dichik dichik, thuk thuk…no, not the jolts again! The funny sounding pilot announces we are soon to arrive at the Indira Gandhi airport. The plane seems so shaky, my father and I are saying our prayers. It seems to be wobbling. And then it hits the tarmac with a loud thud! And it shudders as I hold on to my seat…the air hostess had announced we could rip out the seat cushions to use as "floatation devices" if we land at sea.. huh, talk about low cost! Look ma, no life jacket just seat cushions.
Anyway, we land. And when we get off we notice that the airplane hatch door is covered with black soot or fungus, as it seems from afar. The side view glass for the co-pilot is also covered in muck or perhaps something is peeling off it… God, help us!
I have arrived safely, but shall be making the flight back on Saturday. I have already paid up and now I really can't change. May the lord be with us, and I get another stab at writing my experiences. Amen!

An online brain, anyone?

2010-02-01T12:38:00.001+05:30

An online brain, anyone?

As a child I wished, prayed and begged the Almighty to insert a microchip in my brain. Why? Well then I would just once read a text book and voila, I would remember it forever. Exams would be a piece of cake! No unnecessary formulas and equations to crowd my mind…. Paradise.

Today, having a digital record of everything is a reality. Record on your cell phone, computer, Twitter, Orkut, Facebook, YouTube etc etc etc. Am I still praying for the chip? No!

Privacy is something I learnt to care for. I also discovered that finding your old friends, could also bring back memories of feeling like a complete oaf during a certain Art class. Remembering everything means remembering every single heartache, stomach infection and TV re-run!

No, I am pretty glad I have a brain to edit out the details. I am happy that it wasn’t reduced to sloth! Ok, so I had to really study hard and remember all types of algorithms and trigonometry junk, which I don’t recall too well. But hey, the rest of the stuff helped! The basics are important; god help the kids who now use only the calculator.

OOps!

2010-01-13T17:59:00.000+05:30

He looked into the mirror and he knew something was wrong. His tie had an ink stain, hair looked ruffled and his cheeks had pillow creases. Yet, that wasn’t worrying him, it was the mirror…it wasn’t reflecting his room…
Where am I? Did I get drunk? Is this a friend’s place?

“Hi daaaarlling…” a voice called out from the living room, “Did poochies have a good nap..”

Poochies!! Yuck. This is not going well

“You’ve in there for ages…come and play sweets,” the voice cooed.

Ok, I got to be brave... Don’t panic. I obviously was drugged or was dead drunk and am with some nutcase.

“I’m coming!!” I yelled.. Ok brave face..brave face..

“Hi sleepy head!! Want to grab some cornflakes?”

“But you’re.. you’re… why?” I was started and confused. This was my dog’s vet.

“Why? God look at your face… ”

I still can’t comprehend a thing…did a doc just abuse ME. I mean, yeah she is hot as hell but, why the f88k can’t I remember?

“Dammit I am a doc, I did nothing to you…… Hey idiot.. Look here, you came in with him,” and pointed to my pet dog, “for his health check. However, you just dozed off right in my waiting room. I had the guard outside shift you to the patient room, because you were scaring the others…”

“Just a minute… ok yes I remember being tired, and I think I had closed my eyes for a nap…but that still doesn’t explain poochies”

“Poochies.. hey that’s what I called your dog. She also napped near your bed while you were sleeping… I was calling out to her.. .”

Ok, I am now totally embarrassed! I had been taking my dog to her for a year now; I thought she fancied me... But now I had dozed off at my doc’s place…a real hot doc, mind you…and I ask her if she molested me and effectively killed all my chances of ever dating her… Wow, what a day of realizations!

Hello Temptation ;-)

2009-10-15T15:36:00.003+05:30

A 24-year-old who loves to listen to hip hop music on his iPod and plays war video games to soothe his nerves. This is the revered Karmapa Lama, Trinley Dorje - a Buddhist monk who can be true to his beliefs, and yet enjoy the perks of the 21st century.

We often think of salvation as giving up of worldly desires. A trip to the mountains, where lies no temptation. There was a very interesting question asked years ago at a Miss India beauty pageant. The question was, “Adam and Eve were warned with dire consequences against eating the apple. Yet the snake in the park was persuasive, he tempted them into eating the forbidden apple. Now you are the police; whom would you arrest for this act?”

The ladies were clear, “Of course, the snake. He tempted them, and he knew it was wrong. God had forbidden it.”

You know what they missed? Adam and Eve. Temptations are presented to you in life to test your courage, ethics and faith. You trip, and you fail! You cannot banish all the snakes (temptations), but you must learn to control your desires. Simple example, you are on a diet and your friend sends you a box of Belgian pralines. What do you do? Live with it! Let your family enjoy it, but don’t break your diet because, hey, this is Belgian pralines duh…!

I think living in the real world, with your desires is far more difficult then retiring away in the hills with basic necessities. A holiday is welcome, but a lifetime…hmm, too early to decide!

Annals of the Ladies Washroom

2009-10-09T15:40:00.004+05:30

We have common rooms, cafeterias, malls, lounge areas, but yet I have seen scores of ladies chattering happily inside the washroom. Bedroom stories are swapped, new fashion trends and make tips are freely exchanged, plus a lot of not-so-nice things are spoken about some colleagues, bosses and even the neighbour’s wife. I have seen a maid once sitting in the corner of a large washroom at a mall, and painting!

Tell me is such banter restricted to us, or does the men’s washroom pretty much follow the same routine?

In fact, to think of it, some people take enormous pleasure in locking themselves in their ‘glamour rooms’ at home and preening themselves. SRK is supposed to have got a lot work done on his laptop, check mails etc during his alone time in the washroom. My husband, and I think a thousand others, like reading the morning newspaper inside the toilet!

Why?!

The toilet industry is a billion dollar one. People spend millions purchasing the perfect Jacuzzi, showers, basins, mirror etc. Supposedly half your life is spent on the pot! Makes sense then to spend, right? (Check this for how much thought some people have given to turn a bathroom, into a work of art: http://adelto.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/luxury_contemporary_modern_bathroom_bath_agape_bonatti_ponsi_scoop_minimal.jpg)

There is a home near London that supposedly devotes 1000 sq ft of space just to the bathing area (that’s the size of a 2 bed apartment, in most places!). Italian marble and precious stones find their way here; and so do interior decorators.

In fact, have you heard of the toilet rolls that can be customized for your needs – colour, fragrances, paper quality, all of them to suit your bum’s delicate needs. Of course, for a pretty hefty price. And yes the all gold toilet seat is a reality; a jeweler’s glamorous idea obviously.

See, now you can work on a new business model. A commercial toilet with gold leaves and diamonds with a sign – shit, but for a fee. I am kidding; or am I ;-)

40th Anniversary of the Moonwalk... Where are the aliens?

2009-07-21T13:25:00.000+05:30

It has been 40 years since we had our little stroll on the moon. It was giant step for mankind, remember. Space tourism, they say, will soon be on the menu. You will replace the term globe trotters to universe trotters…

Yet what we await is sign of intelligent life out there. Personally even an alien goldfish swimming around out there in a space bowl sounds good enough. Have you ever taken a leap of faith and believed in something no one ever did?

If you had to imagine aliens, how would they be? Maybe they have pink skin like ours, three small eyes, but no lips. They can read minds and send signals, but they cannot express themselves like us. We have emotions that make us vulnerable and well, human! And this facet attracts them…

Maybe they listen to our radio and television broadcasts and wonder why Joey and Chandler laugh apparently for no reason. Maybe they want Angelina Jolie to adopt a few space kids and are reviewing her profile. Yet again they might love Mozart, but have planned to hit Prince with a meteorite.

Who knows we might one day have a new MySpace social network, where your profile page would ask for your home planet, and current planet. We’d have travel sites where you could choose a freezing stint in former planet, Pluto or a hot bath at Venus. Maybe a 2 night, 3 days package on the Saturn rings, before you start another interstellar operation…

I would ask them to just tell me how to make all fatty calorie rich food into zero calorie deserts. Dreamy, ain’t it?

Aliens if you reading this, please pay us a visit sometime before we trigger-happy earthlings blow all of us up or melt all the polar caps and be one with the fishes…

Courageous or sheer stupidity?

2009-05-21T17:11:00.000+05:30

I have got an interesting question – what is courage?

Bill Maher, a talk show host, said that it took “courage” for the terrorists to sit in an airplane, bang into the WTC and well, commit suicide. Of course, he received serious flak for his comments.

However, I would like to debate this. Is courage an attribute of the morally just? Or can it be seen as morally neutral, even though you may not agree with the outcome of the ‘courageous’ act?

Suicide is cowardice – accepted.

Yet is being courageous also stupidity? Is it safe to assume that only in hindsight can we really label an action as courageous or one of sheer stupidity….

Perplexing, isn’t it?

Let’s take an example of war. Country A invades Country B. Country B soldier knows that the only way to warn his fellow soldiers is by running across bunkers to where the only satellite phone is kept. If he runs, he may be shot. If he stays put, he can run out towards the night, when the ‘enemies’ have moved ahead. However, it means the others are not warned, and there would be heavy causalities... Country B soldier decides to risk his life, and warn the others. He runs… He gets shot.

Was he silly, stupid, brave, courageous?

Some may say he was being stupid – the odds were against him, he could have saved himself and others, if he had waited. Some may honour him with a medal, and say the risk was worth taking and he put his country, before himself.

Courage is such a deep, personal thing that defining it would be difficult. It depends on perspectives.

Life guards day-in and day-out put themselves in danger – is that stupid or courageous? A fire fighter runs inside a burning building, when every one else is running out, to save another…he may be the single bread winner, and has a large family support – smart idea or bad choice?

What is your opinion…think…debate..share..

Power plays and relationships

2009-04-29T15:52:00.000+05:30

There is a certain Russian philosopher who described friendship akin to slavery. Now, I think the man was a bit too harsh. Friendship is a beautiful gift…
I think what he meant was the concept of power play. In every relationship there is an element of power play, no matter how subtle. Even in friendship or a marriage.

There is always one who adjusts slightly more than the other. You might not have noticed it, but when you go out for say dinner with your friends, the few minutes spent debating on the choice of cuisine, will pretty much determine the power-play relations. One will relent and go in for what the group wants, and there still might be one who imposes his/her wish – no one orders any mushroom dish today; please guys not Chinese! Someone will accede. Subtle choices, but the dominant player is established.

Many married couples and families’ power structure is determined based on who controls the remote. Is the bully elder brother adamant about forcing everyone to watch TNA Wrestling or is the youngest daughter controlling enough that each dinner must be had with Bob The Builder playing in the background.

Every relation is a two-way street. However how big your lane is, is decided by how you adjust to the power structure.

Are we born with a moral compass?

2009-04-28T13:51:00.000+05:30

Heard a simple question – do innate ethics exist? Are we really born with a moral compass, or is that we are conditioned to believe in a value system that your parents, culture, tribe or nation impose on you.

The answer I believe cannot be in absolutes. A child when born is innocent and unaware of ‘realities’. However, when he sees another smiling or laughing he responds with a smile or chuckle of his own. He tries to understand what caused the other to smile, was it a good gesture, a joke, a rose… Again when he sees a bully’s angry face go try push another child, he immediately assesses the reaction of the child at the receiving end.

Such interactions ultimately lead up to a value system.

I’ll give an example; my brother was a few months old. He was in my mother’s arms and was trying to reach for a piece of bread in my plate placed nearby. Ma picked it up and gave it to him…as he put in his mouth to chew on, I clumsily banged my foot in the sofa while trying to reach his cute cheeks. Tears sprang from my eyes. Seeing this, immediately my baby brother offered the bread to me. He simply assumed I might have wanted it… I actually started laughing, and was startled by his warm gesture.

Therefore, the deduction would be ethics or ethical behaviour is learnt only in context to others.

It may differ from one person to another simply by virtue of the environment, culture, tribe or nation you grew up in. What was right some years ago is acceptable today. Some years ago same sex marriages were considered unnatural, today some states have decided to amend their law on morality and have accepted the concept of sexual orientations. Is it not an ethical debate?

Stem cells research and cloning are again matters of debate. A scientist may find it ethical to abort a child with congenital defects that would, if born, would have lived in a vegetative state. A priest may find the idea of aborting a life abhorrent.

Ethics define our actions, and they are determined by and for the society you live in.