Simple Childhood

A Life Changing Revelation Leads Back to a Simpler Life and the Re-Launch of the Blog

2017-10-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hello parents and friends! It is time for a re-launching of this blog and I am thrilled to be back writing. It has been about 6 years since I last posted! Since that time, the pediatric therapy practice that I started with my mother expanded and demanded more of my time, which kept me from continuing to write and develop this blog. So much has changed since then, but I am happy that it has lead me back to this spot. In these last 6 years I have grown exponentially as a parent, a professional and as a human being; and I'm still growing and learning every day! I hope that what I have learned can be of use to you in your journey as a parent and as a person. And I hope that you will share along with me, so we can teach and support each other, because this journey of learning and growing never really ends, nor should it. The beauty in life is that we can always continue to learn, to improve, through trials and troubles find happiness and balance, and share our wisdom and joy with others. So sit with me a moment while I fill you in on the events that have lead me back to this blog; they are nothing short of life changing and I mean that in a literal sense. Some of you may read my story and think I'm nuts, while some of you may find that my words resonate a profound truth in you. Maybe you have experienced this same life altering revelation or maybe you have been silently whispering it for a long time, afraid to speak it out loud, like I had for so long. This is a story of mapping your life, following it, and achieving your dreams only to not recognize where you are (or who you are) when you get there. This short history will set the stage for the re-launching of this blog in its new form because one should never go back, but always move forward. I would also like to add that sharing stories about parenting and personal growth requires a certain level of vulnerability and trust. Without allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and learn from the experience, it's hard to truly grow. So I will dare to be vulnerable and grow from this as I share with you my story and promise to provide you with a safe space to share your stories without judgement so that you can also grow from the experience. And away we go.....

I am the eldest daughter of an occupational therapist and a businessman. Both my parents have had successful careers, each eventually owning their own profitable businesses. Theirs was my model for success: work hard, be your own boss, and make good money. Let's skip ahead and just say that I followed in my mother's professional footsteps, but tried to put my individual spin on it by majoring in child development and education first, intentionally spending a couple of years as a third grade teacher before going on to graduate school to become an occupational therapist. Child development felt second nature to me because of my upbringing with a woman who excelled in her specialization as a sensory-based therapist. There was an element of familiarity and comfort as I followed this path to one day be a pediatric OT and possibly run my own practice, like my mother. It seemed like the right thing to do, despite my early reluctance and encouragement from my mother. Fast forward to 2009 when we actually opened our own therapy practice together (along with my father) and grew and expanded and became a well respected practice. Initially I highly enjoyed this new adventure and threw ample amounts of energy and passion into making the practice as outstanding as possible as well as cultivating my own professional skills. At the same time, I had two young children born 18 months apart. Life was a balance of stay at home parenting and part time work. At first I worked only while my children went to local Mother's Morning Out and preschool programs, increasing my work hours as I was able to add childcare coverage by my wonderful mother in law. It didn't feel especially easy at the time, but looking back now it was the most balanced between mothering and working that it would ever be. Through a blend of professional growth, practice expansion (and demands) and my children entering ages of multi-day preschool and then elementary school, my time in the office multiplied exponentially. I took on more and more duties until I was eventually managing all of the employees and ultimately became my mother's boss. The pressure was starting to set in. I had some late days each week where I was at the office until 7pm and some early mornings where I started treating as early as 7:00 or 8:00am. I managed it though. I still volunteered at my children's school and found time to run. But even that level of balance couldn't be maintained.

Exactly two years ago my father retired from managing the practice and I bought out his ownership, ultimately becoming the practice manager, employee manager/supervisor, and I continued to treat a caseload of children as a practicing OT. At the same time my children were developing lives that included after school activities and homework. My husband was working more and all of a sudden buying groceries, making meals, doing laundry and cleaning the house became impossible tasks for us (and my husband does a lot around the house to help); there just weren't enough hours in the day to accomplish it all (sound familiar?). We ate out all the time, everyone was stressed and emotions ran high, no one kept tabs on our youngest child's homework, least of all him, and his behavior was challenging. When I was home with the kids, I was physically present, but my mind was always on work, or I was responding to a phone call, a text or an email for work. Keeping up with paperwork was a challenge, but worst of all was the weight of the pressure of responsibility for the lives of 10 employees, the finances and future of the business, the quality of care of more than a hundred families, not to mention the responsibility of my own family, their physical/emotional/social/cognitive needs, their play dates, school work, birthday parties, doctor appointments etc etc; being everything to everyone at every moment became crushing. I was tired, I had stomach issues, I was moody, I was anxious, my memory was alarmingly terrible, I dreaded getting out of bed in the morning, I found I was becoming more egocentric just out of pure survival. I prayed to catch a stomach bug just to have to stay home in bed for a day to rest, then instantly rescinded that prayer for the amount of piled up work it would likely cause. Worst of all, I just didn't feel like I had enough at the end of the day to really give my children my all; to be present in every sense of the word. I wanted to not only give them my undivided and engaged attention when needed but to actually find joy in those moments with them and make memories, to enjoy this short childhood of theirs.
The idea of success being a business owner who "made good money" was beginning to lose its luster because it meant making the business a priority and sacrificing my time with my children for the sake of the business. But I kept on, afraid to admit that owning and running the practice wasn't what I wanted anymore, afraid to admit it as if it were admitting failure. I was supposed to buy out my mother and take over the business completely so that my parents could retire. I was supposed to do what my mother did and run a successful therapy practice. The words "I don't want this" began bouncing around in my head, a small seed with a tiny voice. I swept it away and told myself this was just growing pains and it would get better. It only ever got more complicated and my time for my family slowly diminished. This seed took root and decided to grow. So many times I wanted to say those words out loud, but couldn't get them to my mouth.

Then, one day it happened. We were on our usual two week vacation in Maine (where I grew up). This annual trip has been cancelled and interrupted many a time due to work issues with my practice. This summer, though, it was perfect. I shut down out of work mode completely. I went running, I did yoga, I played with my children as if I had nothing else to do, I read, I reflected, I connected with my husband, I spent real time with family, and I laughed, I got silly, I allowed myself to shed the weight of the world and relax. My family couldn't believe who this person was; the real me came out to play. I sat on the beach, watching my children playing with their cousins and just marveled at the beauty of these moments I had been collecting. The beautiful simplicity. No emails, not texts, no demands for my time, no stress, no weight, no crushing anxieties, no stomach problems. Just perfect peace in the most simple of moments. And then the fruit of this growing thought, now a desire, was there more present than ever and with little room to remain contained. One small push, a phone call concerning a minor issue at work, was all it took. The words came spilling forth and they were finally spoken. I couldn't believe what I was hearing myself say. "I don't want this anymore." Once they were out, it was done and I couldn't drag myself back to the world I had only previously lived in. I wanted to be free of this complicated, chaotic life where I was only a spectator of my children's childhood. So much soul searching followed. I cannot even begin to tell you of the identity crisis that ensued, all completely self-inflicted of course. We'll save that for another post. But through it all my husband supported me; in an almost relieved sense, I think. I'll skip the gory details of getting to the point at which I find myself today, a current part-time employee of the practice that I helped to build and recently owned. My parents were understanding, if not reluctantly so (I had, of course, just completely altered their retirement plans), and my father stepped back in to resume duties as practice manager. I have worked through layers and layers of guilt about how my decision would affect others (mostly my parents and our employees), but overall, the gift that I would be giving my family by making this change got me through all of that emotional torment I was putting myself through as part of the transition process. The gift of my time and my full presence without the weight of the stress I was carrying was the greatest gift that I could give them. Having time to go grocery shopping and make them dinner, pick my kids up from school and get them to their afternoon activities without engaging multiple family members and friends to assist in the process, having enough me-time to keep my batteries charged in order to be fully present for my family - this was the greatest and most important gift that I could give. My career path no longer felt important and the success of owning a business no longer felt worth it if I was going to plod along through the next 10 years, half-awake to my children's childhood, only to look up in a decade and realize that I had missed it. My greatest regret would be not being fully present in the lives of my children.

So there you have it. At 38 years old I have had my mid-life crisis a little early, but I am so thankful for the prematurity of it because it saved me. It allowed me to become conscious of what was most important to me while I still had time to make the change to put it front and center. This has been an incredibly challenging time in my life, to switch away from the path I carved out for myself almost 20 years ago; to find myself in the midst of accomplishing my dreams, only to discover it wasn't what I wanted was more than unsettling. The self imposed chains of responsibility and guilt were tough to cut through, but I am working my way out day by day and finally getting to create the family focused life of balance that I really want. I work far fewer hours and the mental load of owning and running a company has lifted and cleared a space for greater awareness, more presence, and hallelujah, a working memory! Not only can I get grocery shopping and laundry done but I can do them without stress or resentment. I have found that I have more patience in situations with my children which would have resulted in immediate frustration and yelling. When my children need me, I find it's more automatic to sit and be with them because I'm not thinking of a thousand other things that I need to get done. I practice gratitude for the small moments of pure unexpected joy with them, like impromptu wrestling and laughing with my son when he was supposed to be getting ready for bed or making pancakes with my daughter and turning it into a math activity. I am so grateful for what feels like such a profound change in my life and my ability to parent my children the way I originally intended to and the way that I know they need me to.

When I started this blog in 2010 the intent was to provide parents with information and tips for a simple childhood for children so that they could grow and develop as nature intended, experiencing a full and meaningful childhood, developing the necessary skills to help them excel in childhood, adolescence and adulthood. This blog was meant to help parents find joy and meaning in raising their children and supporting their development using a back to basics approach. I, unfortunately, allowed a busy life and advancing career to get in the way of continuing to live by this philosophy of a simple life for myself and my own family and felt the full unnerving effects of it. Throughout this experience I have learned a tremendous amount and so I am back to writing this blog for you, with a renewed sense of just how important a simple childhood and a simple life really are.

I am here to support your journey as a parent, wherever you are in that journey. I will continue to write blog posts that cover different developmental and parenting topics, pulling in my personal and professional experience and knowledge as well as research and content form other professional sources. But I view this blog as more of an opportunity for growth for myself and all parents who choose to join in; a journey to being the parents we once dreamed of being and the parents that our children need us to be. As I post, my own beliefs and possible biases make weave their way in, but I will do my best to make a disclaimer that just because it is my belief or my reality that I respect that not everyone shares those same beliefs or that same reality. I look forward to your comments and input as we grow together and I promise not to judge, for your comments are your truth and your reality. I ask that everyone reading this blog have the same respect for others' comments. Through our vulnerability as parents and people and our ability to process the information here and reflect on how it resonates with our own life situations we will be able to change and grow in a positive way. Some topics may be uncomfortable for some people and not for others, but suspending judgement for ourselves and others will allow us to move through the discomfort to new insights and hopefully a happier, healthier, more balanced life focusing on strong family connections and a fulfilling childhood that supports optimal growth and development.

If you have made it all the way to the end of this lengthy personal story of mine, I thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to hear me out completely. I hope that my story offers comfort, inspiration or even a new perspective, but whatever you got out of it, I hope it was positive for you and I hope that you will join me again to tackle future parenting and child development topics.

With gratitude,
Kirsten

New School Year - Time For a New Routine

2011-08-11T08:03:00.001-07:00

As the beginning of the school year draws near, so end the lazy, unstructured days of summer. Relaxed bed times and spontaneous outings are soon to be replaced with early morning alarms, carpool, and homework. The transition from summer to school is never an easy one and putting the reins on a child so used to the freedom of summer can be a daunting task, but every year, like clockwork, it must happen.

Ironically, the one thing we have avoided all summer can be the most helpful during this challenging time: a routine.

As much as it would appear otherwise, children thrive on routine and predictability. When they know what to expect in their daily life, they can relax (at least subconsciously). They don’t have to be at the ready, waiting to handle the next surprise or questioning you incessantly to find out what's happening next. The predictability of a consistent daily routine provides them with comfort and stability. When they don’t have to be on constant alert and can relax, they often exhibit more balanced behaviors and less melting down or acting out. A typical trait of most children is a difficulty to handle change initially. Not having a routine provides ample opportunity for children to come up with their own game plan only to become upset (insert undesirable behavioral outburst) when it’s not what they are allowed to do. To avoid this mismatch of expectations between parent and child, provide your child with a clear guideline ahead of time and then be consistent.

Additional benefits of a routine:

Sleep: A regular bedtime provides children with sufficient sleep to help them perform well in school and it can improve how children are able to control their emotions and behaviors. A consistent, calming bedtime routine can help “down shift” energy levels and get kids into bed on time.

Mornings: A morning routine for getting dressed, breakfast, packing bags, chores, etc. is helpful for the whole family. When the expectations are clear and consistent, kids know what to do and there is less rushing (and shouting). Practice this routine before the school year starts to get everyone acclimated; the longer you stay consistent with it, the more automatic it becomes.

Homework: Having a daily homework routine sets up the work and reward expectations, especially when they are kept consistent, which potentially decreases melt down behaviors. Providing children with 30-45 minutes of down time after school (i.e. snack and non-tech free playing) gives them a chance to relax and clear their heads before working. Setting a timer can help with the transition from play to homework. Providing a nutritious snack can give them the energy boost they need to stay alert for homework. Designating a homework area in the house, free from distractions (the TV should be off) but in proximity to a parent, can assist with attention and focus which in turn can increase success with homework and time spent working. TV, computer, or video games should be reserved as a reward when homework is complete and correct (check correctness to prevent rushing through the work). If kids go straight to “plugging in” as soon as they get home, the transition back into homework can be a struggle for parents and the quality of the work then produced by kids can be less if they have already “zoned out.” Limiting TV, personal computer time, and video games to 1-2 hours a day combined can have a positive effect on increasing behavior and attention.

Extracurricular Activities: After school activities can play such a positive role in the development of children. Attending after school sports or clubs can provide more structure and also teach children important time management skills, as they have less time in the afternoon and evening to get homework done than their peers who go home after school. Be careful not to over-do it though; too many activities within a week can become overwhelming and stressful for a child. In this case, less is more.

As an occupational therapist, I often work with children who require more than a standard routine to help them function well in their daily life. If you recognize that your child is more disorganized than his peers or has a lot of difficulty with transitions, despite putting routines in place, there may be some underlying issues preventing your child from reaching his/her potential. An occupational therapist can be helpful in determining what the underlying issues are and assisting parents and teachers with organizational strategies for the child. If you would like more information, you can contact my occupational therapy practice for assistance: www.pdc-atlanta.com.

Great Expectations - Part I: Does Your Child Measure Up?

2011-06-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a new series of posts that focus on the expectations that we, as parents and teachers, have for our children. Our expectations of our children determine whether or not we view them as being successful in any given situation. It is important to have expectations that are age, skill, and situation appropriate so that we do not judge their behaviors and actions unfairly. Expectations that are too high leave us feeling disappointed, frustrated and our kids feel like failures when they don't live up to them. Having expectations that are too low often leads to children behaving inappropriately for their age (which can cause problems at school and with peers) and learned behavior patterns of dependency.

Consider the following scenarios of two girls who are both four years old and essentially equal in development, each with parents who have different expectations in the same situation of a morning routine:
Child A: To get her daughter ready in the morning, a mother gives her child a choice between two outfits, then gives her child instructions to take her pajamas off and put on the clothes that she picked out by herself before coming out to the kitchen for breakfast. Mom already knows she may need to come back in to give a reminder and possibly a countdown to get her daughter motivated if she gets off track (she is only 4, after all). After a few minutes Mom checks back in to find that her daughter managed to get her clothes off, but got distracted by toys before getting her new clothes on. She praises her daughter for getting her pajamas off and then kindly, but firmly, reminds her of the task she is supposed to be doing and gives her a countdown, "10, 9, 8...." as her daughter recognizes what this signal means (based on consistency in the past) she starts getting her clothes on and mom goes back to the kitchen. The little girl soon follows all dressed and ready for breakfast. Mom and daughter are both happy.

Child B: To get her daughter ready in the morning, a mother comes into her daughters room and tells her to get dressed because breakfast is almost ready. She leaves to go finish cooking. After a few minutes she yells from the kitchen, "come on, hurry up and get dressed; breakfast is ready!" When there is no response, she goes to her daughter's bedroom to find her daughter, still in pajamas, playing with toys. Exasperated, the mother says, "I told you to get dressed. Why do I always have to ask more than once?!" She then chooses an outfit and quickly puts it on her child who is pouting and resisting. As they both go down to the kitchen the mother is frustrated and wondering why her daughter can't dress herself. The daughter is sulking because she feels her mother's disappointment.

Neither one of these mothers is a bad mom, but they both approached the same situation differently; one more successfully than the other. The first mother understood that in order for her 4 year old to dress herself, she had to set her up for success, be patient, and give reminders until she was successful. Because the task of getting dressed was completed within her expectations, it was successful for both mom and child. The second mother wanted her daughter to dress herself as well (which is age appropriate for a 4 year old), but the expectation for it to be done independently from start to finish with only 1 request and no assistance was not realistic. When her daughter didn't meet her expectations she was frustrated and the little girl didn't feel successful.

Why did both of these moms have different expectations of their child in the same situation? Those expectations have to come from somewhere....

The Origin of Expectations
Where do our expectations of our children stem from? As a pediatric occupational therapist, my knowledge and understanding come from literature and experience with a lot of kids besides my own; but most parents don't have a professional background on child development, so where do they get the information that they base their expectations on?
- parenting books (and there are some really great ones out there too), but in my experience, this area of information is vastly underutilized by parents, for whatever reason
- the internet, where you can get a quick answer and there is some good info, but no quality control
- pediatricians offer a source wisdom, although doctor visits are often infrequent and rushed so doctors don't always have time to get the full story before they make comments on behavior issues
- past experience seems to be one of the two most common sources of expectations for behavior. We think back to when we were kids and base our expectations of our kids from that. This can be good and bad: good, if you had a solid upbringing and your expectations are age appropriate; bad, if expectations of you as a child were unreasonable and age inappropriate. For parents of multiple children, using past experience with earlier children is often helpful in creating expectations of subsequent children, but every child is different and sometimes expectations need to be adjusted for each individual child to be successful.
- word of mouth is the other most popular means of gaining information to form expectations; this is most commonly through friends and family members. Again, this can be good and bad, depending on who you are taking advice from. If the person you are getting your info from has a good understanding of child development and what is and isn't age appropriate, then chances are you are getting good advice. When comparing our children to others, we sometimes can get a picture of what other typically developing kids of the same age should be able to do, but we can also get into trouble and develop skewed expectations that may not be appropriate for our own children if the comparison isn't equal.

The Breakdown - Unrealistic Expectations
Despite having multiple sources of information to pull from, I find that when it comes to having expectations of children, parents most often tend to have expectations based on how they want their children to behave in a given situation based on what's easiest for the parent and not what is most realistic for the child. For example, expecting a two year old to sit through a 90 minute dinner without becoming restless is convenient for a parent and unrealistic for a two year old. Or, expecting a four year old to pick up all of their toys on the first request. The problem with this is, having expectations that do not meet the abilities of a child set everyone up for failure and frustration. In turn, punishing (age appropriate) behavior that didn't live up to unrealistically high expectations leads to increased negative behaviors and low self esteem in children. This problematic situation is further complicated when parents do not maintain consistent expectations of their children. If the same type of behavior is ignored in one circumstance and then punished in another similar circumstance, how is a child supposed to know which one is correct.

Technology and Society Negatively Affecting Expectations
As our society runs full speed ahead with newer, faster technology to make our lives easier we are becoming lazier as people and parents. I know that sounds like a harsh statement, but I see and feel the effects both personally and professionally. Through the use of high speed technology adults, and children, have become conditioned to require little effort, control, immediate responses, and instant gratification in our lives. We no longer have the patience to wait, work hard, work together with others, or problem solve. And in our own virtual realities, where we can always find someone else to back up our opinions, we are always right. What we, as parents, don't always recognize is how all of this is impacting our expectations of our children's behavior. We no longer have the patience to tell to our children to do something more than once, to wait for them try repeatedly until successful, to teach them new things, to model good behavior and correct their behaviors appropriately..... Our expectations of them to behave perfectly and perform perfectly without any effort on our part to teach them how to behave is completely unrealistic. The most important part of being a parent, besides loving your children unconditionally, is TEACHING THEM! (More on you as your child's most important teacher in a future post).
The other negative influence of technology is on the actual behavior of children. Even if you are the model parent when it comes to having appropriate expectations of your children, overuse of technology (computer, video games, TV, iphone) will undoubtedly cause unwanted behaviors whenever they are forced to turn off their source of entertainment, and frustration, impatience, and decreased attention once their little brains are conditioned to expect instant gratification in all aspects of life. You can avoid this by limiting their daily exposure to entertainment technology to age appropriate limits and use it as a reward to be earned for good behavior instead of an automatic right.

The Bottom Line
When our expectations of our children are higher than what they are capable of no one wins. Instead of ignoring the problem or assuming the behaviors are due to some sort of diagnosis, it is important to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are your expectations of your child appropriate and realistic or would they be more appropriate for a child years older? Clear, consistent, age appropriate expectations are crucial for success. And children also need parents to model and encourage appropriate behaviors first. Help your child be successful!

This first post in a series is food for thought. After reading this, think about your own expectations of your children. How often do they meet those expectations or are you constantly scolding or getting frustrated with their behavior?
Stay tuned for Part 2 when I discuss how to manage expectations of children to make them realistic.

Reading Early Part 2: Book Selection for Infants & Toddlers

2011-06-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

Writing a children’s book is no easy task. In the publishing world, children’s literature is considered the hardest in which to succeed. Your audience, while small and sweet, can be a harsh critic. When they do not like a book, they don’t hesitate to slide off your lap and go play elsewhere or emphatically toss the book aside with a definite “no!” So for those of us without an education background or lots of experience around small children, how do you choose a good book?

Which Books?

Books come in countless forms these days. Even the same title will be offered in various presentations, including:

-board (small or mini-sized, sturdy cardboard)

-oversized board (great for reading aloud to more than one child; great gifts for a preschool or child care class)

-cloth

-softback

-traditional hardback

-”collections”

-books on tape/CD

-books on DVD

-electronic form such as “Leapster”

-bath

I intentionally have listed “bath” books last to emphasize my recommendation against these books. Bath books are generally constructed with PVC/vinyl, with foam inside the pages to allow for buoyancy. PVC/vinyl has been found to contain phalates and other chemicals that are harmful to children. Young children will quickly put these books in his or her mouth, and even older children can be exposed from simply touching them or soaking in the bath with them. Best to avoid these books altogether until a safe form of plastic book is created for this purpose. Alternatively, reading during bathtime can be very enjoyable, so grab a favorite book and read aloud tubside.

Now that we have an idea about the different types of books that are out there, we can discuss which books are best for children of different ages and stages.

Baby’s First Library

So you want to start your baby’s library! I would recommend hands down board books to be the bulk of your baby’s books until your child approaches her second birthday. Board books are sturdy and well-constructed, ready to be chewed, dropped in the bathtub (by accident of course!), sprinkled with crushed cheerios in the back of the car, and read over and over again. By the time my second boy came along, the only board books that needed to be replaced were those with flaps or pop-ups.

If you have not been around children’s books in a long time, you will probably have sticker shock when you start looking to begin or add to your baby’s collection. Board books are small and compact, but they are expensive. Their average price is around $6, ranging in price from about $4 to as much as $12! (Eric Carle books are wonderful, but notoriously pricey) Needless to say the bill can run up quickly when you are picking out these cute little books. A good reason to have a book registry (local bookstore or Amazon)! When my husband and I were expecting our first, we agreed to pick out 1 or 2 titles each time we were at the bookstore.

The number of titles that are now available in board book format has grown tremendously in recent years. Titles now include the “classics” such as Goodnight Moon (Brown) and The Carrot Seed (Krauss) allowing you to share books that were most likely a part of your own childhood. Books that I would call “modern classics” comprise a large number of the titles that you will see at Barnes and Noble, such as Jamberry (Degas), Hippos Go Beserk (Boynton), and Freight Train (Crews). These books have been reprinted in board book format, and you will be hard-pressed not to find most popular titles from the last 20 years as a board book. More recently, new titles that are only printed as board books have emerged. The popular “My First Board Book” series (DK publishers) and the “Little” finger puppet books series (Chronicle Books) are two noteworthy examples. (*Note: Just because a book is a “board book” does not mean it is the right match for an infant or young toddler. There are many preschool level books that have been published in board book format that are not really appropriate for infants or toddlers. If the book has a large amount of text on each page (in story format) it is probably too advanced and will bore your child. Examples include Owl Babies (Waddell) and The Runaway Bunny (Brown). Best to purchase these worthy titles in softback for an older toddler and beyond.)

So which titles to get?

Reading to your child is the most important thing. It is wonderful if you are able to create a diverse and plentiful library--but not necessary if this is not feasible. Babies under a year old will delight in just a few titles that can be read again and again. Remember that these books will no doubt make it to your child’s mouth, so be prepared for a little drool while you read aloud.

Babies less than 6 months of age are still developing their eyesight. Babies 4 months and younger have yet to develop full color vision and are still near-sighted. So at least a few of your early selections should include books that are printed in high contrast black and white with larger images. More specifically, books that include patterns and faces will be of particular interest to your baby. It is also important to pick a book that you enjoy reading. Whether it be the illustrations that draw you in, or the easy to read rhyming pattern, if you are enthusiastic and enjoy reading, than your child will enjoy listening to you. Generally speaking, the books that you select for a young baby (under age 1) should have only 1 line per page, or perhaps no words at all. Don’t expect to always be able to finish a book with a young child. Talking about what you see during your shared experience is all you need sometimes. Once he or she is able to help turn the pages, you will be lucky to read 2 pages in their entirety! Learning to turn pages is an important step in book knowledge and reading schema. A few choices might include: The Begin Smart books (Stages 1&2), Peek-a-Who? (Laden), The “Little” Finger Puppet books, Peekaboo! books (DK), and My Animals (Deneux).

Toddlers will become increasingly sophisticated in their interest and attention span for books soon after they start walking. This is no coincidence. Walking is such a huge developmental milestone for a child physically, it is hard for him to focus on much of anything else until he has reached his goal of mobility. Once reached, the brain is “freed up” to begin some cognitive leaps that you can sometimes see on a daily basis. A toddler is not just a passive listener to your reading sessions. She is becoming an active participant, excited to be making connections between the illustrations she sees and the words she hears with the rest of her world that is growing everyday. Look for books that have objects, settings, and routines that are a part of your child’s world. Labeled books are fun for your child as he begins to talk. You can make your reading time together interactive by asking your child to point things out in the book or in the room, rereading a special book two or more times, emphasizing the patterns and rhymes that are in the book, singing along to a book that follows a song, taking a themed book along on a family field trip, and making books part of a bedtime ritual. Titles to look for include Jamberry (Degas), School Bus (Crews), Touch and Feel books (DK), Big Red Barn (Brown), Sheep in a Jeep (Shaw), Dog/Cat (Van Fleet), Tip Tip, Dig Dig (Garcia), Dear Zoo (Campbell) and Time for Bed (Fox).

As your child reaches the age of two, he will have developed an attention span sufficient to allow him to sit through longer board book stories (Dig Dig Digging by Mayo or The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Carle). You can “test” this growth by trying longer softback/hardback books, such as a Curious George or Llama, Llama, Red Pajama (Dewdney). Don’t be surprised or concerned if your child loses interest after a few pages. The longer format, smaller words, and more complex story may appear overwhelming at first. Try again a few days later. Before you know it, she will be ready and excited to explore these “big kid” books.

Upcoming Part 3: A Well-Rounded Book Diet!

The Picky Eater vs The Problem Eater: Understanding your child's eating habits

2011-06-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

I have often been told that my children are great eaters, but one scenario always sticks out in my mind. When my kids were around 3 years and 18 months we were eating at a local mexican restaurant and the mother of a family sitting nearby remarked at how well my children ate. Both of my kids were eating chicken tacos, diced tomatoes, beans and rice. To us, this was normal and definitely not some of the more interesting foods that they eat, but here was this woman's 6 year old son eating nothing but Teddy Grahams for dinner. She laughed it off in comparison to my 1 year old, but I could still sense how frustrating it was for her to have a child who wouldn't eat normal food.

There seems to be a common misconception about what normal eating habits are for babies, toddlers, and school aged kids. In the US, chicken fingers, french fries, hot dogs, and plain pasta have become labeled as "typical" kid food with many kids not expanding their food choices far beyond that. Restaurants and schools subscribe to this "kid food" myth too; they all serve the same four kids meals: chicken fingers, hamburger, mac n cheese, and grilled cheese, all with a side of fries. But where's the nutrition in those meals? I wonder what happened to fresh apples, berries, tomatoes, broccoli, grilled chicken, lasagna - why aren't these considered typical kid food? Somehow common knowledge about childhood eating habits has become skewed. The normal assumptions seem to be:
- if a baby doesn't like a certain food on the first try then they never will
- toddlers snack throughout the day instead of eating meals
- toddlers are naturally picky eaters
- there is 'kid food' and then there is 'adult food'
- kids of all ages need to be entertained by the TV to eat a meal
In actuality, many babies and even toddlers need to have a new food introduced up to 10 times before they may eat it. And by 10 times, I don't mean once a month for 10 months; instead, you should offer it every day or every couple of days and eventually they will try it and begin to like it. Age 6 months - 18 months is the best time to introduce your child to as wide a variety of foods as possible because they are more open to trying at this age than later on. I even served my children food that I hated, like beets, olives, and mushrooms. Aside from mushrooms, they both like a greater variety of food than I do as an adult. You may also notice that toddlers begin to get more selective in their foods than they were as babies and this is developmentally normal as they are just practicing their independence. Continue to offer the same variety of foods and eventually they will start eating them again.

Toddlers do tend to eat smaller portions and snack more because their busy brains and bodies have a hard time focusing on eating, but it doesn't mean that you should deviate from a normal eating schedule of: breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner. If you give too many snacks they won't be hungry for a meal. To improve mealtime success, give smaller portions; your child will ask for more if they are hungry and by adjusting your expectation of your child everyone will be happier when they meet your new, more appropriate expectations. Toddlers may need to move during their meal (this is normal); we allow our toddler son to get down from the table and move around, but we do not feed him on the run or allow him to walk around with food. If we don't try to impose food on him, he will get back in his chair on his own and finish his meal. Again, adjusting the expectation that children of all ages should sit still until their meal is finished to a more age appropriate expectation can make the experience more successful for everyone. Just avoid trying to force feed your toddler child. It's also good to keep in mind that toddlers fluctuate in the amount of food they eat, tending to go in cycles. Some people notice that their toddlers eat more at certain meals and less at others; some people notice that their toddlers go through phases of eating more for a few days and then less for a few days. Either way, it's pretty typical and your child will not starve, so do not force feed. However, if there is an underlying medical issue or disorder or your child is losing weight, then seek professional advice.

Other than pureed food for babies who cannot yet chew, there is no difference between what adults eat and what children should eat. When we categorize food like this we automatically limit our children. What you feed your children from an early age is what they are going to want to eat when they are older. So, if it's pizza, chicken fingers, fries, gogurts, and pudding now without fresh fruits and veggies and other types of food, then they are not going to miraculously start eating these new foods when they hit a certain age. A good rule of thumb is, whatever you're eating for dinner, your kids can eat too. If you're making barbecued chicken, corn on the cob, and baked beans then serve that to your children; you don't have to play short order cook and make them a separate meal too. If you're making salmon, green beans, and rice for dinner, give that to your kids! If you can start this habit between 9 and 12 months (when your baby starts eating table food), then you'll be way ahead of the game.

Babies, toddlers, and children do NOT need to be entertained by TV or a movie to eat. This is another bad habit to get in to! Appropriate mealtime behavior starts with a good model of behavior (that's you, parents) and conversation is a great form of entertainment that actually makes your kids smarter (TV will do the opposite). And if a child is watching TV while they are eating they are not paying attention to the food or the meal experience: they won't develop a love of food, they won't taste what they are eating, they won't know how to pace themselves, and they will actually eat more than they need. The family meal is a powerful thing and has positive impacts on your relationships with your kids, communication with your kids, your children's grades, etc. (I will get more into this in a future post on the importance of family meal time). So, if it is your expectation that your children should behave appropriately at the dinner table whether you're at home or in a restaurant, remember that you have to teach it to them first and modeling a behavior is the best form of teaching it. Playing a DVD while they eat is keeping them quiet (only while it's on), but it is not teaching them anything and it will be harder to teach them correct behaviors once you have already started the DVD/TV habit.

The truth is that most children are born with the ability to eat and like a wide variety of foods, like: tomatoes, beets, broccoli, strawberries, blueberries, beans, grilled chicken, fish, hummus, avocado, etc. It's all about understanding how to introduce food, reading your child correctly, having appropriate expectations and using some strategies to make eating more successful.

When it comes to why children are picky eaters, it seems to be a bit of a chicken or the egg scenario. It's hard to tell if any given child came hard wired to reject most food or if his parents set him up for it by automatically introducing the "typical" kid diet because that's what they thought was the norm, thus never giving their child the opportunity to develop a liking of a good variety of tastes and textures. Children who have a medical or congenital condition that affects their ability to eat or tolerate certain foods, such as a cleft palate, low oral muscle tone, severe reflux, sensory processing disorder, or autism legitimately have atypical eating habits and we classify these eaters as "problem eaters." Other children without an underlying cause of their restrictive diets can be classified as "picky eaters." There are several reasons why children become picky eaters, but this post is focused more on explaining the difference between picky and problem eaters. At the bottom, there are also strategies to use with picky eaters and helpful hints for avoiding picky eating habits.

The Picky Eater

· The picky eater will refuse certain foods and may show a preference for certain types of food, but over time with repeated exposure will eventually add new foods and textures to their diet

· The picky eater typically does not have any major underlying problems that require intervention; but can benefit from a few helpful hints to use at home to make mealtime and eating more successful

· It is typical for children to be picky eaters up through the toddler years; if they have an extremely limited diet, exhibit problem behaviors associated with eating, or the pickiness extends beyond the toddler years it may be indicative of some underlying issues and the child could benefit from a feeding evaluation

Common Traits of the Picky Eater:

- Spits out new food, but after up to 10 attempts at introducing the same food will eventually begin to eat it

- Avoids foods with a certain taste or texture, but with repeated exposure eventually begins to add new foods to diet

- Will take more risks eating new foods when with peers or relatives, but are more controlling in their eating preferences with parents

- Changes preferences for food over time; i.e. begins to refuse foods that previously enjoyed but also begins to eat foods that previous wouldn’t eat

- More likely to try new foods or eat if using new colorful dishes, utensils, games, or music during mealtime

- May tend to graze as opposed to eating scheduled meals and snacks

The Problem Eater

· The problem eater has a very limited diet and exhibits behaviors associated with food and feeding time; this is most often due to an underlying sensory and/or motor problem

· The problem eater typically requires a feeding evaluation done by an occupational therapist or speech therapist with a background in oral sensory and motor development to determine the underlying problems; this child will greatly benefit from therapy to address these issues

· The traits and behaviors of a problem eater listed below are indicative of a problem more serious than just picky eating; they can be observed as early as 6 months and persist throughout the lifespan if not corrected

Common Traits of the Problem Eater:

- Spits out food or refuses food repeatedly, even after more than 10 attempts at introducing it

- Has developed behaviors associated with certain foods or mealtime in general: head turning, pushing food away, crying, screaming, throwing food, gagging, throwing up, etc.

- The young child may only eat pureed foods; the older child may develop a preference for a certain taste or texture and will only eat foods in that category

- Will only eat what they are familiar with, including only specific brands of food

- Refuses to touch or pick up some or most food; also delayed in self-feeding

- Mealtimes are extremely stressful for the child and parent

- May show delays in speech development

- Difficulty moving food around in the mouth with the tongue

- May have avoided putting objects in mouth as an infant or may have mouthed objects excessively

- Avoids/dislikes tooth brushing

- May have a strong gag reflex; or may overstuff mouth with food and then choke or spit food out

- May continue with thumb sucking, pacifiers, bottles, or sippy cups longer than typical

- Child tends to be very controlling, at mealtimes and in general

- May also avoid certain clothing, textures, and playing with messy or gooey substances

Helpful hints to avoid picky eating:

- Introduce new foods to babies 6 months to 12 months as directed by pediatrician, increasing the complexity of taste as they get older; children are most receptive to new foods before the age of 1 year

- Introduce new and thicker textures to babies 6 months to 12 months as they show mastery over simpler textures; babies who have mastered thick textures should be introduced to table food around 9 months and eating only table food at 12 months

o A baby is ready to be introduced to new, thicker textures when they no longer gag, tongue thrust, or spit out the stage food they are currently eating

o A baby is ready to start on small, simple table food when they have mastered thick textures and can chew easily broken down food, such as cheerios or Gerber Puffs; look for the ability to move food side to side in the mouth

- Children are products of their environment and will respond to food and eating based on the parents’ approach:

o Exposing babies to a wide variety of foods before the age of 1 year will help them eat a larger variety of foods as an older child

o Self feeding promotes independence; start encouraging self feeding with hands around 7 or 8 months and with utensils before 12 months

o Make eating an enjoyable and social experience by always eating with or sitting with your child while they eat

- Keep open communication with daycare about what your child is eating; if necessary, send in the food you would like your child to eat

Helpful hints to use at home with the picky eater:

- Make mealtime fun: use brightly colored utensils and dishes (especially with pictures at the bottom); play games and/or music; eat with your child

- A new food may need to be introduced up to 10 consecutive times before a child will try even it

- Introduce new foods one at a time and wait until child becomes comfortable with it before adding another new food

- Start with what the child is familiar with, even if this is pureed foods, and gradually add small amounts of texture (such as cooked oatmeal, mushy fruits/vegetables, cooked couscous or rice, alphabet pasta, tiny pieces of cooked carrots, peas, or other soft vegetable starting with an amount 1/8” in size and moving to 1/4” in size)

- At mealtime, introduce a new food before offering foods the child prefers

- Go slowly! Allow the child to touch, smell, lick, or bite new foods, spitting out if necessary (continue to introduce the food several times like this); place the new food 18 inches from the child and gradually move it closer to the plate as he/she becomes more comfortable and praise all efforts at interacting with or trying the new food

- Once the child has become familiar with the new food then present a very small amount of food that he/she is expected to eat; as the child’s comfort with the food increases, gradually increase the serving size offered and begin to add the food in with the regular meal

- If the child won’t eat mixed textures, separate out the foods using a divided plate

- Finger foods may be more enjoyable if the child has trouble using utensils; but offer low-stress opportunities to practice with utensils

- Allow the child to “dip” food into ketchup, sauces, syrup, apple sauce, jam, yogurt, or salad dressing

- Get creative with food presentation by using cookie cutters, food coloring, referring to food by fun names

- Avoid serving food in the container that it comes in, as children will start to notice and only eat specific brands

- Involve your child in meal preparation

- Change the location of the meal if necessary; use a booster seat at the table if the child doesn’t like the highchair, eat at a children’s table, etc.

- Try to avoid power struggles over food and eating; make eating enjoyable and stress free by having a playful attitude; if a child gags, throws up, or exhibits any other behaviors in response to eating, calmly end the meal, clean up, and let child know that you’ll “try again later”

- Keep open communication with daycare providers or teachers about food and eating so all experiences are successful

- If eating problems persist your child may benefit from a feeding evaluation done by an occupational therapist or a speech therapist with a background in oral sensory and motor development

The take home message here is that you do not have to just accept that your child is a picky eater. You can take steps to try and improve the range of foods your child will eat and their eating habits because it is important that all children get the necessary nutrients from food for their brain and physical development. A processed carb-heavy diet does not have the same benefits as a balanced diet with fresh fruits and vegetables, dairy, unprocessed whole grains and protein.

If you are concerned with your child's diet and eating habits you can seek help from a pediatric occupational therapist who will determine if there is an underlying cause. If present, the underlying issue needs to be worked on first before the eating can be expected to improve. In any case, an occupational therapist can work with you and your child to come up with strategies to improve their eating.

Beach Activities That Work on Developmental Skills

2011-05-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's beach season!!! And seeing as I am currently at the beach with my kids, I thought that this was an appropriate time to write a post on beach activities. The beach is a great place to play and work on dvelopmental skills at the same time, as well as a wonderful sensory experience. Children really have the opportunity to run wild, explore, be creative, and have fun at the beach because, other than obvious safety restrictions, there really are few limits to what their little bodies and minds can do there. Another great thing about the beach - kids are so entertained by all the sights, sounds, and opportunities to play and explore that they forget about the TV and computer for a while.
So here's a list of beach activities to get your kids moving and having fun, with a quick explanation of some of the developmental skills that they work on. Most of these activities can be done by kids of all ages, toddlers to tweens, just adapt the activity to make it age/skill appropriate for your child/children. I'll bet that you already do many of these activities with your kids without even realizing the developmental benefits! Also, at the bottom there are some other activities that are more appropriate for older kids only.

* Carrying buckets sand and water - it's hilarious how interesting this is to kids; they will fill buckets and carry them to different places, dumping and filling over and over just for fun. This builds strength and endurance, works on balance and even coordination.

       * Shoveling sand, turning over and dumping buckets works on grading movement as kids figure out how much force they have to use and how fast to move in order to dump out the right amount.

* Building a sand castle is fun for everyone and parents usually like to get involved with this one too. All the parts of creating a sand castle work on important skills, like planning how the castle will look before beginning, sequencing the steps to build it, shoveling and carrying buckets of sand to build it, and creativity when it comes time to decorate it.

* Finding shells is fun and exciting for kids as they locate new shells they've never seen before or find whole shells instead of just pieces. Looking for shells works on visual scanning and several visual perceptual skills that are important for other things, like reading. It's also a great opportunity to teach your kids about shapes, colors, textures, and even correct names of shells for the older kids.
      * Sorting shells - for an extended activity, have your kids sort shapes into groups by different characteristics, like color, size, shape, texture, name, etc
* Shell sequence - line up 4 or more shells in a specific sequence, let your child see it for 5 to 10 seconds, then cover it up, mix up the shells, and have your child repeat the sequence of shells correctly. Try different sequences and add shells to increase the challenge. This works on sequential memory skills.

* Grab Bag: Fill a bucket or small bag with items found on the beach (shells, rocks, coral, small stick, feather, etc.) and have your child try to correctly identify the items in the bag without looking. Sometimes showing the items and letting your child hold them first, before putting them in the bag, helps to improve their success at picking them out of the bag correctly. Another variation of this game is to have matching pairs of items, like 2 rocks, 2 clam shells, 2 pieces of coral, 2 welch shells, etc, placing 1 set in the bag and leaving 1 set where your child can see them as he/she searches in the bag for the matching pairs. This activity works on visual perceptual skills, memory, and tactile perception.

* Buried in the sand - burying kids in the sand (but not too far) is a fun sensory experience, you may even notice them trying to bury their own legs and feet. By burying their legs or even torsos (when lying on their back) and arms as well (and only if they want to of course) they work on strength when they move to get out from under the sand. Kids also love to bury their parents! Come on, just let them; it's fun! And they have to do a lot of shoveling, digging, and carrying which works to strengthen their muscles and tires them out. Just as a safety note - do not bury kids in holes and do not put too much sand on top of their bellies; they still need to breathe!

* Drawing/writing sand or playing tic-tac-toe: Grab a rake, a stick, or a shell and get creative in the sand. The resistance of writing or drawing in the sand is good for building strength in the hands and upper body. Drawing gets the creative juices flowing and writing or playing tic-tact-toe works on cognitive skills. If your kids are working on spelling their name or writing in cursive, this is a fun sensory-filled way to practice. The more senses involved in a learning experience, the more areas of the brain get involved and you can get a lot more retention of information and carry-over.

* Maze in sand: Draw a maze in the sand for your children to follow; a kid's shovel or a rake works well to draw it. This sounds silly, but they love it! You can even have them repeat it doing it in different ways: crab walking, bunny hopping, frog jumping, twirling, running, etc. For older kids, do timed races. The great thing about this activity is that it works on visual-perceptual skills, motor skills, coordination and motor planning, and attention and focus. To increase the challenge and to work on balance, draw a course with only 1 line that your kids have to follow and keep their feet on. You can also have your kids walk through the maze or on the line balancing a ball or big shell on a sand shovel or something else.

* Relay Races: Kids love to run and at the beach where there are wide open spaces it's that much more fun! Take this energy and enthusiasm for running and set up some relay races; and it really gets hilarious when the adults get involved too. You can do relay races made up of just one activity, or you can combine several activities within one race. Here are some examples: filling buckets with water or sand, carrying buckets of water or sand, running, hopping, cartwheeling, wheelbarrow walking (wheelbarrowing walking and pushing a ball along with your hand), balancing a ball/shell/water on a sand shovel, etc. Relay races work on skills like strength, endurance, motor skills, motor planning and coordination, and social skills.
* Sponge and water relay:  This is another fun relay that you may have played before. You place a bucket filled with water at one end and an empty bucket at the other. Starting at the empty bucket end, you run with a sponge to fill it from the water bucket, run back to the empty bucket to ring it out, then pass the sponge to a teammate who then does the same thing. This process gets repeated until the empty bucket has been filled to a marked line. The first team to hit the line wins.

* Obstacle Courses: If your kids are getting bored of playing in the water and in the sand, then create an obstacle course (or better yet, have them create one), using beach chairs, towels, buckets, sand piles, balls, etc. Do timed trials for older kids. Even young kids can do an obstacle course that is created on their level. This fun activity works on strength, endurance, motor skills, motor planning, and coordination.

* Jumping waves: To get your kids working on movement, balance, and coordination, try jumping the waves. For the youngest kids, or kids who are unsure of the waves at first, start by jumping at the edge of the water. Pre-walkers can get involved with this activity if you hold them and jump them over the waves; you may even need to hold the hands of toddlers in order for them to be successful at jumping. Travel into a few inches of water to jump with kids who are capable of it; the resistance of the water and the greater height they have to jump will be a bigger challenge for them. For older kids who can swim, going farther out into the water and jumping the bigger waves is really fun! Safety note: watch your kids carefully when they are playing in the water; go in with them, but never allow anyone to go in if there is an undertow.

* Dad's little acrobats: I know it is every mother's instinct to freak out when she see her husband tossing their toddler in the air, but relax mom's, it really is ok. Dad's are actually providing their small children with some important movement that is very good for the development of the sense of movement. Most kids love being tossed in the air, turned upside down, or flipped over, although they may be hesitant initially. Obviously Dad's should use smaller movement for babies than toddlers and preschoolers. Side Note on Movement: Some kids are over-sensitive to movement and will be scared being tossed off the ground. If you notice this in your child, instead of avoiding the movement, get them used to it by holding them close to your body and jumping up and down, tipping side to side, and spinning in circles. Gradually (as in over time, not just in one day), hold your child farther away from your body to do these movements. Then introduce small tosses or dips and bring your child back to your chest for a strong hug before doing it again. This will help a baby or toddler with movement sensitivity become more comfortable with this type of movement so that they can benefit from it developmentally. On the other hand, there are kids with under-sensitvities to movement and these kids will be begging to be tossed over and over or higher and higher. Their bodies need the extra movement for it to make an impact on their brain and sensory system. These type of kids can also benefit from lots of gross motor activity every day, and this will have a positive impact on behavior and attention.

* Pulling on towels and swinging in towel: Another fun movement activity is to give your kids rides on a beach towel. Have your child sit or lay on the end of a towel as you quickly pull them across the sand. Two adults hold on to each end of a towel can also swing a child in the towel back and forth. These activities are fun for kids and also works on developing their sense of movement.

* Walk/run: Take a walk or a run on the beach with your kids. Walk or run a distance that is appropriate for your child and it will work on endurance and strength. Walking through the water will provide resistance and work on strength and balance too.

* Play catch: Playing with balls, tossing and catching, kicking, football, frisbee, etc are all fun activities that work on motor skills, coordination, strength and endurance.

* Crab Soccer: Playing soccer the traditional way is fun at the beach, but so is playing like crabs! Get in the crab position, that's on hands and feet with bottom lifted just about the ground, then make your way across the sand trying to dribble, kick, and score with your feet without falling over. This works on motor skills, motor planning and coordination, and helps to improve strength and endurance.

* Little Helper: Have your kids help you carry stuff to the beach, like a towel, a bucket, or even a backpack. Even if it is something small and light, like their own water bottle, it still teaches them responsibility, cooperation, works on strength and endurance, and helps you out a little.

* Scavenger hunt: Give your kids a bucket along with a picture list or a written list of things to search for and collect on the beach. You can also do an alphabetical scavenger hunt by searching for things that begin with each letter of the alphabet. If collecting items proves to be too much, take a walk and have your child point out items on the list without actually picking them up. This activity is good for visual perceptual skills, visual scanning, sequencing, following directions, attention and focus, and other cognitive skills.

Older Kids
Older kids can do a lot of the activities listed above if you adapt them to meet the skill level of your older child. But these activities below are specifically for older kids above the age of 10.

* Boogie boarding, surfing, body surfing: Your child may need you, or an expert, to teach them these activities, but once they've got the skills to do one or all of them, they work on strength, endurance, motor skills and motor planning.

* Riding bike on beach: Lots of beaches or beach destinations rent bikes and even weird, fun beach contraptions to ride on the sand and in the water. But going for a bike ride is a fun family experience that works on strength, endurance, balance, motor skills, motor planning and coordination.

* Fly a kite: A fun activity, that I don't see people do all that often anymore, is flying a kite. This is a great beach activity because there's often a breeze at the beach. Flying a kite works on coordination, motor skills and motor planning, as well as visual perceptual skills.

* Picking up trash: If you're looking for your adolescent or teen to gain some civic responsibility, then go on a family walk to pick up trash on the beach.

* Beach boot camp: If you have an adolescent or teen that is interested in sports (or a technology addict that needs to get out and get moving) then coordinate an early morning family boot camp session on the beach (or look for a resort sponsored one). Even if just for 30 minutes, a 1 mile run, some push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and other exercises will be enough to benefit your child's strength, endurance, coordination, and focus/attention.

Best Toys for Babies 9 months - 2 years

2011-05-19T06:06:00.000-07:00

First time parents often wonder just what toys they should buy for their baby once they get to the stage where they are mobile and can really interact with toys. This should be a helpful guideline to get you started, or help weed out some toys you don't need if you already have too many. Remember that in the case of toys for babies, less is more, you don't want to overwhelm or overstimulate them; you want to focus on increasing their attention span with one toy as opposed to decreasing their attention span with many toys. If you have a lot of toys, they don't all need to be out at the same time or in the same place. Choose quality over quantity. And most importantly, choose age appropriate toys that support developmental skills. To help with this, for each toy or category of toy that I list I will also add a quick highlight of some of the areas of development that are addressed by that toy.

A note before we get started: I have focused on an age range of 9 months to 2 years, which actually covers a broad range of skills, but during this time a baby can play with the same toy in different ways, always working on some type of skill (as long as it is a developmentally appropriate toy). A 9 month old baby needs more assistance and supervision with toys than a 2 year old, but that doesn't mean that they can't play with many of the same toys. Although, when choosing a toy use your own discretion based on your child's skills and safety level. Remember that children put things in their mouth and this is age appropriate, so please never give a young child an object that could be a choking hazard!

TOYS

Blocks - big blocks (3"-4"), little blocks (1"-2"), blocks of different shapes, colors, textures. Blocks are great for working on grasp, fine motor control and coordination, motor planning to stack blocks, etc.

Stacking and nesting toys - cups, cubes, cones, rings, nesting dolls (just remove the small choking hazard size pieces). Stack and nesting works on fine motor control and planning, as well as visual perceptual skills, and early cognitive concepts and problem solving. Examples: Rainbow Stacker, Cone Sorting, Nesting Dolls, Nesting Blocks, Nesting Cups

Shape sorter - Shape sorting buckets and blocks help toddlers with shapes, colors, matching and other cognitive concepts as well as problem solving. These are toys that children typically need a lot of assistance with and modeling for a while before they become independent with it, but they are great toys that bring up a lot of teaching opportunities! Melissa and Doug Shape Sorter, Bucket Sorter, Barn Sorter, Animal Sorter

Musical instruments - Musical instruments offer opportunities for learning cause and effect, to practice and improve motor skills, and sensory experiences. Instruments that involve blowing to make noise, like harmonicas, kazoos, or whistles, work on oral motor skills. Plus, babies love things they can shake and bang on! Examples: Beginner Band Set, Bells, Instrument Set, Drum, Piano, Tambourine, etc.

Water table and sand box - I have to say that I'm more of a fan of sand boxes than tables because in the box kids sit, kneel, and get on their hands and knees to play, which works on more foundations of developmental skills (strength and postural control) than when standing to play. Water play can be done in a water table, in the bathtub or sink, or in a baby pool. Step 2 Water table, Sand Box, Sand Table I like sand boxes over sand tables because it gets kids sitting in the sand which is a really great sensory experience!

Puzzles - Basic puzzles for babies have large knobs and only 3-4 chunky puzzle pieces and then progress in challenge and skill level to small knobs on puzzle pieces with matching pictures on the pieces and on the board, to puzzles with interlocking pieces; then increasing the challenge to puzzles without matching pictures, increased number of pieces, and then jigsaw style from 12 pieces and up. Other types of puzzles involve sound, magnetic poles to pick up puzzle pieces, magnetic sticks to move pieces within the puzzle, dressing puzzles, locks and latches, and parquetry puzzles (I like the magnetic versions the best to hold the designs in place). Check out Melissa and Doug for a wide selection of quality puzzles.

Cause and Effect toys - Cause and effect toys teach children just that: when I do an action, I get a result and different actions have different results. It's an important concept to work on because it is so essential for a lot of other cognitive, social, and communication skills. Some basic cause and effect toys are:
Pop up toys (see a list on amazon)
Banging/pounding toys like the Plan Toys Drop and Punch and a Melissa and Doug version
For 18 month to 2 year olds, look for toys that involve sounds and movement when a button is pressed or something else is done. For example, check out the iplay fun tractor.

Push toys - Heavy push toys, like the Radio Flyer push wagon ensures that a baby on the verge of walking won't go over backwards when they put all their weight on this, and thus allows them to work on balance, stability, and strengthening the core muscles and leg muscles needed to walk in an upright position. For walkers who are more stable, lighter weight push toys such as Little Tikes Lawn mower, shopping carts, Melissa and Doug push toy, and others like these, are more fun and easier to use.

Books, books, and more books - Providing a child with a literature rich environment from infancy and making reading time together a daily occurrence has far reaching effects on brain development as well as a life long love of reading. For more information read the post on Early Literacy. Babies enjoy board books that are durable enough for them to turn pages and even chew on; they like simple, repetitive, and rhyming phrases as well as interesting and uncomplicated pictures. As babies get older their attention span for books increases and their understanding of story lines increases so that they can enjoy longer books. Sticking with books that are age appropriate and paying attention to your child's interests and attention span can make reading from an early age a fun experience.

Pretend play toys - Baby dolls, stuffed animals, dinosaurs, trucks, play food, dress up outfits, etc are all ways that toddlers can begin to practice being older. They mimic their parents, stories, and other scenarios in their life through these toys as well as begin to come up with their own imaginative play using these toys too. Giving your child real objects of yours, like cooking utensils, a baseball hat, an old purse, an old key chain, etc are also ways to encourage pretend play. A baby sitting on the floor of the kitchen banging on pots and pans with a wooden spoon is the first example of this.

Active play toys - Tunnels, tents, tent/tunnel combo, short slide/climber combos (I like the Little Tikes models), basketball hoop, T-ball, ball pit, trampoline, swings, etc. Active play toys get babies and toddlers moving, which in turn furthers the development of motor skills, balance, coordination, and strength. Developing these skills appropriately and on a normal timeline set the foundations for developing more advanced skills later on, such as running, skipping, playing sports, handwriting, supporting good desk posture for writing tasks in school.......

Balls - A very simple toy, balls are a great (and inexpensive) developmentally appropriate toy for all ages. A baby who can sit and crawl can begin to work on rolling a ball back and forth to a parent or push the ball through a tunnel, a walking baby can carry a ball and work on balance in a new way, a toddler can work on tossing and catching and putting a ball in a toddler-sized basketball hoop, a toddler can also kick a ball. Sensory balls with different textures, lights, or noises can offer a fun sensory experience.

Objects Around the House - Babies and toddlers are active explorers and quite curious by nature. They also like to mimic mom and day by doing things like, trying on dad's work shoes or mom's high heels, pretending to shave, playing with cooking utensils, etc. Observe the types of objects around the house that interest your child and set aside a cupboard or basket filled with old home items that are safe and appropriate for your child to play with. And when you see your child trying to experiment with objects or furniture around the house, if you feel it is safe, use that object or piece of furniture to play with your curious child in a way that you feel is appropriate. Maybe it's a cardboard box turned boat, maybe it's pots and pans turned into a drum set, or maybe it's old plastic flower pots turned into a stacking or bowling game. There is all kinds of fun to be had when you play along with your young child's curiosities. And by modeling and teaching them proactively how to play with home objects safely, you decrease the risk of them playing with them unsafely when you're not looking.

Bottom Line: Babies and toddlers don't need toys that entertain them and they definitely do not need TV (at all)! Babies and toddlers have an innate drive to explore their environment - this is what builds all those connections in the brain to make them smart. So, the more they explore and play, the more they learn, and the greater their potential to be an intelligent individual. When they watch TV or interact with toys that do all the entertaining for them their brains are not working to make those important connections and in fact all of that rapid visual and auditory stimulation can be detrimental to brain development.
- Keep it simple when buying toys for your baby and toddler and only bring out a couple of toys at a time so as not to overwhelm your young child; this also improves focus and attention when they are not distracted by too many other toys
- Choose toys that work on developmental skills, like the ones listed above
- Look for durable toys made out of quality materials
- Play with your child!!!!! And then give them the opportunity to play independently (see my previous post on independent play for more info on this)
- It's ok for babies and toddlers to play with the same toy or do the same active play activity over and over - they are practicing until they are successful, which is part of the learning process (learn more about why children do this)
- Have fun!

Community Model in the Fight Against Fat - Making simple, positive nutrition changes

2011-05-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

My name is Jenny (I am the little sister of the creator of this blog) and I currently work as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner in Georgia. I have been in practice since 2006 and have observed the effects of obesity on the lives of young children across the country. As with many medical professionals, I share a great passion for childhood obesity and am very active in the prevention. I hope that I can give some helpful isnight and tips through these blogs and my many experiences I have on a day to day basis dealing with parents and children.

As we all know, obesity has become an epidemic. 1/3 of all children are overweight! Many households, school systems and even states are taking a stand and trying their best in attempts to fight back. I have been most impressed by recent attmepts in my home state, Maine, with their 5-2-1-0 program. This simple model preaches the key elements to living healthy. : 5 fruits and vegetables a day - less than 2 hours of videogames/computer/tv - 1 hour of exercise - and 0 sugar sweetened drinks (chocolate/strawberry milk/, Kool Aid, sports drinks, energy drinks, even most fruit juices). 5-2-1-0 make this become your new mantra.

It is not only families battling weight issues who can benefit from making positive changes when it comes to food choices, because everyone's brain, organs, and body needs healthy food in order to thrive. Every family should take a look their daily diet and decide where they can replace poor nutrition habits with good nutrition habits.

So now the question is, how do we make the change? Every day at my practice parents and children acknowledge their dietary problems and can even tell me the solution, but they just can't make the change. My answer, start small and be realistic. Baby steps will get you much further than leaps and bounds in the end. Make one goal, for example eating more fruits and vegetables (fruit cups, canned fruit and fruit snacks don't count). A good way to incorporate more fruits and veggies into your diet is by making all of your snack choices be a fruit or a veg or by just adding them to all of your favorite snacks and meals. What you'll find is that once you incorporate more fruits and veggies into your diet, you will automatically, without thinking, be cutting down on all of the sugar and starch filled items such as chips, candy, cookies, breads etc.

Some of my Favorite Examples of Easy Food Switchovers:

What we Love to eat (that's bad for us) and What we should eat (and will learn to love) instead:

* Bowl of Fruit Loops (or other sugary cereal) - instead try Honey Nut Cheerios or oatmeal with sliced berries or bananas

* Ice cream - instead eat yogurt and/or cottage cheese with berries

* Chips/crackers - instead eat Celery/Carrott sticks with PB, low fat cheese, or light dressing

* Cake/cookies - instead try Organic or Sugar-free pudding with berries

* Spaghetti with meatballs - try Whole wheat pasta with spinach and/or broccoli, peppers, and ground white meat of chicken/turk mixed in to the sauce (p.s. the smaller you cut up the veggies, the less the kids notice they are there; even try pureeing the veggies in a blender or food processor and then adding them to the tomato sauce)

* Bake potato with butter and cheese - instead eat a sweet potato, or just a salad

* Chicken nuggets - instead eat Morning star or Applegate Famrs meatless nuggets or make your own baked chicken fingers by cutting up strips of raw chicken, dipping them in flour, then egg whites, then Panko or low fat bread crumbs, bake on 350 for 20 min (flipping sides after 10 min), or until they are fully cooked; they freeze and reheat well too.

* French fries or tater tots - if you must eat french fries, buy frozen natural potato wedges and bake them (do NOT fry), or make your own baked fries out of sweet potatoes

* Lunchables (which are deceiving because they appear nutritious, but really are packed with chemicals and preservatives, sodium, fat, and sugar that children don't need) - instead pack a homemade lunch of a deli meat sandwich on wholewheat bread, carrot sticks, pretzels, and a cup of applesauce. If your kids love the crackers, cheese, and meat Lunchables, then pack your own crackers, cut up cheese, and cubes of fresh deli meat.

* White bread - instead buy whole wheat bread; whole wheat is actually sweeter than white bread, is packed with nutrients and has less refined sugar and carbs than white bread (that means less weight that's added to the tummy)

Fruits & Veggies
Fruits and vegetables are not just an important part of a balanced diet - they are essential!! Our bodies require the vitamins and minerals found in fruits and vegetables EVERY DAY in order to grow, support healthy organ function, stay alert, and to prevent disease and illness. Our bodies cannot maintain a healthy state living only on processed foods (that's all those foods in boxes and bags). 5 servings of fruits and vegetables should be a part of meals and snacks every day - and fruit flavored food and drinks do not count as a source of fruit either. Fresh fruit and vegetables have much higher amounts of nutrients than those that come from a can. If fresh produce is not available, then frozen is better than canned. Serving sizes for children are obviously smaller than an adult: a few cooked baby carrot sticks, half an apple cut into thin slices, or 1/4 cup of broccoli is a serving size for a child. When you think about it that way and serve at least 1 fruit or veggie at every meal and snack, you'll be getting in 5 servings easily. And replacing desserts with fresh fruit, even fruit topped with a dab of whipped cream, cuts down on a whole lot of added sugar without giving up the sweetness. Now, what to do about all that juice that kids drink....

No Juice! What do I give my child now? Water!!!! I really believe that water and milk are really all you need. After the age of 1 it is recommend that toddlers consume 16-24 oz of 2% and whole milk daily to help their developing brains and bones. I encourage parents to introduce water in a sippy cup as early as 6 months. At 6 months they are not consuming water as a means of hydration, but just playing with the sippy cup and getting the hang of it. By 9 months, I hope that children will have started to master the use of the sippy cup, or a cup with a lid and a straw, and are drinking water with each meal. Children will of course continue to obtain a larger portion of calories and fat from breastmilk and formula in between their meals. After the age of 1, it is recommended that toddlers consume 16-24 oz of 2% or whole milk in order to help their developing brains and bones. Just because they are 1 does not now mean they need juice. Fruit juice is not a substitute for eating fruits because you miss out on the natural fibers in the fruit and are usually consuming mass amounts of additional added sugars. Most importantly, if your child is drinking juice then they likely are no longer going to want to drink water.

Problem: "My child refuses to drink water." Simple solution - slowly thin the juice with water over many days to weeks. Kids are smart, they will pick up on it if you do this too quickly. For the really stubborn bigger kids, Crystal Light and Organic variations are also good options instead of juice and soda. I also can't stress enough the importance of discontinuing the use of sports drinks. A well trained marathon runner does not even need to rehydrate with Gatorade. The only necessary time for rehydration with a sports drink would be within 30 min to 1 hour after strenuous exercise for teenaged kids. I recommend cutting the sports drink in half with water. And NO soda! Truly, the amount of sugar in one can or 16 oz bottle of soda is all the added sugar one adult needs per day! The sugar, chemicals, and carbonation in the soda contribute to obesity, poor health, low energy (after the sugar crash of course), and poor bone growth/bone density.

Problem: "My child would rather drink juice/milk than eat." It is easy to fill up on fluids before a meal. Either do not allow your child anything to drink, other than water, until they have consumed 1/2 of their meal/snack, or offer only water with their meal and offer milk during snack times instead.

Strategies for Starting Good Eating Habits in Kids

Make it a family change: The best way to eating and living a healthy lifestyle is keeping it simple, manageble and family centered. Changing eating habits is not just for kids. Parents - you are your children's role model...your children are a product of their environment, therefore you have to make the changes for yourself before you can make them for your child.

Get the kids involved: Take your children grocery shopping and involve them in the process. It's a great way to teach them about new foods, to compare nutrition information labels, and to get them to try new things. Involve your children in planning weekly meals and even cooking. When children take part in cooking, they are more apt to try eating what they have made. Check out a previous post on cooking with your child.

Eat together: Sit down and have a family meal. Research has shown that there are major benefits to having at least one family meal a day. It's a great time to talk, laugh, enjoy each other's company, and to enjoy the food. Remember to turn the TV off though; it's hard to really pay attention to each other when there is other entertainment on. A family meal should be a time when everyone ignores the technology that disconnects us from each other during the rest of the day; so turn off the phones and the computer too and if you need a little help getting the conversation going, you can always play a game! My favorite meal time games are Two Truths and a Lie and an old drinking game turned dinner game, Never Have I Ever. In Two Truths and a Lie your children must tell you three things that happened during their day, two must be truths and one a lie; it is up to everyone else to figure out which is the lie. In Never Have I Ever, everyone takes turns stating something that they have never eaten or done and anyone else who has takes a bite of their food; for example: Never have I ever eaten brussel sprouts or never have I ever colored a picture with my toes.

The important take home message here is to make eating habit changes to include more fresh food in your family's diet, taking out added fat and sugar, in order to improve weight, health, attention, life, and self image. Make the changes together and find sources of support to make the changes permanent. Your kids rely on you to give them the tools to have the healthiest life possible, since they don't yet have the knowledge or ability to do it themselves. They learn from you and your actions, so the changes must start with you!

Helpful Resources:
* ilunchbox.com - Child portion sizes and other important nutrition information
* Food Guide Pyramid - info on how many servings of each food group a child or an adult should have
* Kid's Health.org - great information on health, nutrition, exercise, feelings, illnesses, etc with specific pages for parents, kids, and teens

Try and Try Again - Why children repeat the same motor skill over and over (and over)

2011-05-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched your child do the same activity over and over again and thought, 'what is he doing'? Up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs, again and again. You think, 'ok, enough already, let's do something else.' On the playground has your daughter insisted on playing on the same piece of equipment for 10 minutes, even though you are ready to see her do something else? And every parent has heard the dreaded, 'read it again!' as their child begs for their favorite book to be read for the hundredth time. As annoying as it is to parents to witness or even have to participate in these repetitive actions of their children (especially toddlers), there is a developmental explanation for why they behave this way; and don't worry, it's actually a good thing.

In the Beginning
Babies truly are born a blank slate. They come hard wired with protective reflexes, but they have to learn how to do every action from scanning a room to look for mom to running and skipping. These skills do not develop without the opportunities to try; which is why tummy time is so important from very early on! As babies build strength in their neck, torso, arms, and legs they are able to move around, slowly increasing their movement skills as they get older. But babies hardly ever experience beginners luck; their skill acquisition comes through experimentation and hard work. Take crawling for example, as a baby gains strength and balance, she challenges her abilities to get on her hands and knees, then lunge forward. She will collapse the first few times she tries; she may even give up for a couple of days, but as she revisits this new motor skill and tries over and over she will start to get the hang of it. Then one day, you look up to notice she is crawling across the floor, headed for her toys. She continues to perfect her crawling abilities, a nd so begins the transition to the next motor milestone of pulling up to stand. You will see this same pattern of experimenting with new abilities and the repitition with practicing until a baby has mastered a new skill.

The Drive to Master
The inner drive to master a new skill is an innate quality that everyone is born with. Toddlers are the perfect example as they are constantly engrossed in figuring out how to do one thing or another on their own. I'm sure you've heard "me do it!!" on a daily basis if you have or have had a two year old. Coupled with a new realization that they exist apart from mom, this drive to master new skills makes toddlers fiercely independent. This new independence also brings out brand new behaviors and therefore a whole new bag of tricks needed to deal with these behaviors. See the previous post on handling toddler behavior for help. The drive to master new skills is actually a really important developmental trait, as it motivates young children to keep trying in order to get better at something. At an age where every skill is a building block to new and more complex skills, this "try and try again" attitude is essential.

The 'Just-Right Fit'
Because of this drive to master new skills and challenges in their environment (i.e toys, games, sports, playground equipment, etc) children young and old are motivated to stick with trying a new activity until they figure it out, but only if the level of challenge is just right. It can't be too hard or too easy. If the new activity is too difficulty and they do not have any small successes as they adjust their approach, then they will give up. If an activity is too easy, they will do it quickly and skillfully and then move on to find something else with a little more challenge. This is why babies don't play with Legos and older kids don't play with stacking rings. If you find your child trying to do an activity or play with a toy that is age appropriate, but she is getting frustrated and defeated, then step in and provide small amount of assistance that allow your child to complete the activity successfully, but with as little help as possible. Sometimes even modeling how to do it a couple of times can be helpful. Then the next time she tries it, provide even less help. With each repeated effort she will improve her skills and knowledge to be able to do it on her own. Prodiving the smallest amount of assistance necessary to help a child do an activity that is just outside of their abilities to do independently is called 'scaffolding;' this strategy helps them learn how to do an activity or skill independently. This theory also applies to other areas of learning.
When a child finds an activity or skill that is within this 'just right fit' range they will repeatedly try until they finally master it. When an activity that has required scaffolding finally starts to fall within the 'just right fit' category a child will begin to work harder to get it right on their own. This drive causes children to engage in the same activity over and over again until they are finally successful, then the success is fun for a while until they need another new challenge.

Bottom Line: In order to learn new skills and to become more independent children need to repeat activities over and over until they master them. Ever time they make a new attempt their brain and body are making small adjustments to improve their abilities and therefore their success. It is entirely normal and necessary for kids to do things over and over until they feel successful. Interrupting these attempts at mastery can backfire and decrease a child's confidence in their own skills. Reading books over and over is also important as with each repitition a child is making new connections, learning more about language and reading, and taking in new knowledge. When your child can actually recite a favorite book or finish the sentences, you will understand how powerful reading books over and over can be. So let your kids try and try and then try and try some more, encouraging them and offering assistance only when needed.
And the disclaimer here is that you should obviously discourage your child from trying to engage in any activity or behavior that is harmful or developmentally inappropriate.

When Repetitive Behaviors Are Not Normal
Some types of repetitive behaviors are not normal and can be a sign of an Autism Spectrum Disorder or other disorder, such as OCD or even a severe sensory processing disorder. Repetitive behaviors that seem to have no purspose and happen on a daily basis for long durations, such as open/closing cupboards without getting into what's inside, lining objects up into straight lines or categories, or wandering without a destination goal are all examples of behaviors that are not developmentally appropriate and serve no purpose in acquiring new skills or knowledge. Repetitive behaviors that appear to be for sensory purposes, such as hand flapping, head banging, rocking, and pushing or crashing into objects and people can be indications of a developmental disorder, especially if they occur along with other non-purposeful repetitive behaviors, such as the ones previously described. If you have any concerns about your child, it is important to speak to your pediatrician without waiting too long. For children with a developmental disorder, such as Autism, early intervention is crucial and makes a huge difference in the potential progress of that child.

Easter Activities!

2011-04-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter (or Happy Spring if you're not celebrating Easter)! Any holiday is a great excuse to do some fun activities that are out of the everyday norm. And these activities are not only fun, but also actually work on lots of developmental skills. Some of them might even be family traditions that you already do and didn't even know were secretly good for your kids development!

Easter Egg Hunt
Did you know that easter egg hunts are great for working on so many developmental skills? To name a few: visual scanning and other visual/perceptual skills, reasoning skills, and some gross motor skills, like running.
- If you want to up the challenge for your kids, hide the eggs in some hard to reach places to work on other gross motor skills, like climbing and balance. Also, opening up the eggs and putting the two halves back together works on bilateral coordination (using the two sides of the body together) - a very important skill.
- To add an academic challenge, label the eggs with a letter on each that spell a word when put together correctly; if using multiple colors, have a word for each color and if you have more than 1 kid searching for eggs they will have to work together to combine their eggs to spell the words. For younger children label eggs with letters or shapes to work on those early learning concepts (craft stores have fun foam stickers in letters, numbers, and shapes which would be fun to put on the eggs).
- To cut down on sugar overload, fill eggs with non-candy items like, coins (then have older kids do some math with the money they collect), stickers, fortunes, silly bands, etc.
- To increase the cognitive challenge for older kids, turn the egg hunt into a scavenger hunt with clues in each egg leading to the easter basket at the end.
- If you have adolescents who are "too old" for an easter egg hunt, include them in the task of setting up a hunt for younger kids in the family or the neighborhood.

Easter Relay Race
Get the whole family involved in an easter themed relay race! Each family member performs actions like, bunny hop, skip, hop backwards, or walk like a duck from point A to point B to see which team wins. Doing these actions works on motor planning, gross motor skills, coordination, and all the movement is good for kids too! Plus, it's really fun, especially if you have a lot of family members involved - including the adults!

Decorating Eggs
However you want to do it, decorating easter eggs is a great opportunity to work on fine motor skills, creativity, sequencing and planning. For some boys (and even girls) who are typically "too fast" and "too rough" with their movements, handling a delicate egg is a good way to help slow them down and work on being gentle with their movements. But make sure to give these types of kids lots of preparation ahead of time on being slow and gentle, lots of cues during the activity if you notice them ramping up, and lots of praise for doing well throughout the task.

Outside Toys and Games
Easter is a great time to start pulling out the outside toys and games (or give new ones in the easter basket) because nice spring weather is usually ramping up and it's a great time to be outside. Sidewalk chalk, jump ropes, kickballs, bubbles, velcro toss and catch, kites, etc. are examples of inexpensive outside toys that can be found anywhere from local drug stores to Target to amazon.com. So, bring some toys out in the backyard, play with them for a while, then sit back with your significant other and enjoy a nice adult drink while you smile at your children playing in the yard on a beautiful spring afternoon, knowing that they are having fun, doing great things for their little brains and bodies, and going to sleep well that night!

Easter Dinner Helpers
Involve your children in helping to prepare for easter dinner by cooking with you (see the earlier post Little Chef for tips on how to include children in cooking), setting the table, playing waitress/waiter with appetizer trays, and making decorations for the dinner table. All of these activities work on a variety of skills and are fun for kids to do!

Grow Your Easter Decorations
If planting some spring flowers to use as decorations this Easter sounds appealing to you, then involve your children. Picking out the flowers and materials together at the store gives them some ownership of the activity, increases motivation to stay involved, and makes them feel proud of the final product. Helping to carry the materials works on muscle strength and endurance. Following instructions step by step works on sequencing and planning. Getting their hands in the soil is a great sensory experience. Manipulating the tools and plants also works on fine motor skills. And the end products are beautiful spring flowers in pots or your garden to celebrate the holiday.

These are just a sampling of activities to do with your family! I'm sure your kids can come up with even more ideas if you ask them! Now, get outside and have fun!

The Art of Playing Independently

2011-04-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

On a daily basis I'm sure all parents can be heard telling their children to go play with their toys. But how many children actually oblige and happily entertain themselves with their toys, puzzles, books, coloring....? The answer should be ALL, but sadly it's not. A great majority of children today do not know how to play by themselves. It can be blamed on any number of things, but watching too much TV, especially from a young age, is right up there at the top of the list with inhibiting a child's ability to play independently.

As a parent, you may experience that your requests for your children to go play are met with whining, tantrums, and begging for TV or other entertainment. Children respond with "I don't like my toys," "there's nothing to play with," "it's boring, " "I don't know what to do." And as busy parents trying to deal with meal preparation, household chores, emailing, facebooking and surfing the internet, we give in to the resistance too easily and turn the TV on to stop the whining. We all do it, but there are good reasons for making sure that as parents we take an active role in helping our children learn to play independently instead of taking the easy way out and letting the TV do the entertaining.
**Play is important because it helps to develop fine motor and gross motor skills, it reinforces learning and develops cognitive skills, and it promotes problem solving and creativity, as well as social and emotional growth.  Independent play encourages a child to be imaginative and helps to increase self-confidence as children have opportunities to be successful on their own. Read the bottom of the post for some facts on why play is important and how the ability to play independently is negatively impacted by too much television.

How do you define independent play? Your expectation of your child's ability to play on their own certainly affects how successful you consider your child to be in this skill.  Independent play (or solitary play) is when a child engages in play with toys on their own.  I consider a child playing on their own with toys that have been set up by an adult to be independent play as well, as most young children have difficulty accessing, moving, or setting up certain toys that they are capable of playing with. In many cases of successful independent play, parents do need to get the toys out for their young child or show them how to play with it first before their child can play on their own.  If your idea of independent play is that your 24 month old go to his room, pick out toys and play without any direction or assistance from you, that may not be realistic; but helping him choose toys to play with, getting him set up to play with them, and then telling him you have to fold laundry for a little while (or whatever else you need to do) may be the key to setting him up for success. By the time a child is at least 4 years old (younger in some cases), I would expect that they could be independent in choosing, getting out, and starting to play with most age appropriate toys that they have easy access to in the house (minus craft activities and complicated toys/games).
Also, when my kids play together without needing me, I consider this independent play as well. And - when my kids are playing independently they will often ask me questions, ask for help with something, or need me to mediate a sibling disagreement and then go right back to playing on their own - to me this is fine and still successful independent play.
Watching TV is NOT  independent play!

Realistic Expectations: The average 2 year old should be able to play on his/her own for at least 15 minutes at a time and do this several times a day. As a child's age increases, so should the amount of time spent in independent play; for example, my 3 1/2 year old daughter can play uninterrupted for 45 min (although during that time she may ask me a question or want to show me something).  Prior to 2 years of age, the time spent playing with toys independently varies and of course involves more adult supervision than older children. But a child around 18 months can feasibly play on their own for at least 10 minutes while a parent is busy doing something close by.

What disrupts being able to play indpendently:
* Watching TV! TV does all the thinking for those watching, so when an avid TV-watching child is expected to think creatively on their own, that skill just isn't there, but the desire to be entertained is! These kids just don't know how to play with toys the way that kids who watch TV infrequently do.
* Missing play skills. Kids, especially young ones, often need instruction on how to play with their toys that are new or difficult. Play with the toys with your child first before expecting him/her to play with them without you.
* Toys are inaccessible. Make sure that your kids can get to their toys easily, or at least the ones that you want them to get to.
* Toys are not age appropriate. When toys are too difficult to play with or too easy kids won't have enough interest to stay engaged with them. Before expecting your child to play independently, make sure the toys they have access to are appropriate for them to play with and on their skill level. They will need supervision and assistance toplay with toys that are above their skill level. Some children with advanced skill levels need toys that are beyond their age limit to keep them challenged enough to be interested. It's all about finding that "just right" fit when it comes to toys - challenging enough to be motivating to master and not so hard that they can't do it on their own.
* Separation anxiety. Very young children going through separation anxiety and may have a hard time playing on their own. Young children who spend a lot of time in daycare may also not want to play without mom and dad when they are home. Starting off playing with your child and then removing yourself to do something else nearby can help to ease your child into playing independently.
* Siblings. Don't be discouraged if your kids have a hard time playing together or side by side without it eventually turning into a battle. Set clear guidelines for how to play together, consequences for not following those rules, and then be consistent with it. For example, if my 2 year old hits his sister, he gets a time out; if they are fighting over a toy, even after a warning from me, they lose the toy for a while and have to find something else to play with; I have intervened and given them the tools to resolve conflicts so many times that every once in a while I will say to my 3.5 and 2 year olds to "work it out themselves" (mostly because I've reached the end of my patience with helping them) and incredibly enough, sometimes it actually works!
Playing together is a great opportunity for working on social skills, turn taking, and conflict resolution, even with toddlers. It can be exhausting, but just remember that they are internalizing everything (even if it doesn't seem like it), so make everything you do and say to them count if you want to see positive results in the future!
* A disability. Children with developmental disabilities that involve delayed skills, problems with attention and focus, or require more supervision may have more difficulty engaging in independent play. That doesn't mean that as a parent you have the green light to keep the TV on. Instead, look for strategies to help your child play more indpendently. Offer toys that are on your child's developmental level and not their age level. Choose activities that play to your child's strengths, not weaknesses, when you want him or her to play independently. For example, if your child has difficulty with gross motor skills and coordination, but is excellent at fine motor and visual perceptual skills, then get out the puzzles and legos instead of sending him out to play on the swing set. Also, start by playing with your child and once they are having success, leave briefly (even if it's in the same room and you "appear" to be busy) and come back right before they begin to get discouraged or upset. Engage in play with your child again, then leave for longer the next time. Continue this pattern of playing and leaving, gradually increasing the amount of time away from your child until they feel more confident playing alone. This does not just happen in one play session; use this method every time you play together and over time you will see progress.
If your child struggles with attention and focus, let them be in control of choosing activities as they will be more motivated to do them that way. However, if your child spends a lot of time on the computer or watching TV, limit this (as it increases poor attention skills) and instead guide your child to choosing non-technology based toys; even provide a few options to choose from if need be. Activities that are well matched to their ability level can help increase time spent attending to the activity, and especially if there is a motivating end result to the activity, such as making an end product, winning a game, finishing a puzzle, etc. Set up play in a location that has limited distractions (no TV, music, extra people, etc). Even provide a visual timer and explain that they must play on their own until the timer goes off.

Remember that it's important to give kids opportunities to learn how to play creatively and independently every day because it really is a skill that needs to be developed!

Disclaimer: I know it goes without saying, but I just need to reiterate that independent play does not mean that children play unsupervised! Even if your child is playing independently in the next room, checking in on her occasionally is a good idea; and babies and toddlers should not be left alone.
Facts to Support the Importance of Independent and Creative Play:
* Creative play, free of all types of media entertainment, promote developmental skills, cognitive skills, social and emotional growth, and creativity. The TV actually hinders all of those things, preventing our children from developing any of those necessary skills. TV does all of the thinking for children; they are just passive observers, which inhibits their ability to initiate play on their own because they are used to being entertained.

* Playing independently improves attention span, whereas TV contributes to a decreased attention span. "Each hour of TV watched daily between the ages of 0 and 7 years equated to a 10% chance of attention problems by age seven years (Christakis D 2004)."

* Viewing TV and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood (Swing, 2010).

* Exposure to “green space” results in a significant reduction in ADHD, in both areas of impulse control and attention ability. Nature not only has attention restorative benefits, but also activates all the senses to enhance multi-sensory learning ability (Faber-Taylor A 2001, Kuo F 2004).

*"Overuse of TV and video games may result in children lacking essential connection with themselves, others and nature. Children now fear nature, limiting outdoor play which is essential for achieving sensory and motor development (Louv R 2005)."

* Playing with other children and role playing with dolls or other toys is essential for social and emotional development. "The ability of the 21st century child to socialize with both adults and peers is deteriorating at a rapid pace. Sally Ward, a professor of speech and language pathology reported in her book “Baby Talk “ that one in five toddlers demonstrate speech and language delays (Ward S 2004)."

Cited articles are from the Fact Sheet by Cris Rowan, http://www.zonein.ca/index.html.

Weekend Activity with an Egg Carton

2011-04-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Wait! Don't recycle that egg carton just yet! That cardboard container has endless possibilities to challenge your child's developmental skills and creativity, no matter how old they are. And participating in any of these activities gets the mind and body moving without using TV, video games, or the computer. Read on for activity suggestions and a summary of the developmental skills they work on.

Painting - Use the egg carton as a palette to separate paint colors. Or paint the whole carton itself. Painting it turns it from an old egg carton into a treasure box or a jewelry box. Painting works on fine motor skills, coordination, motor planning, creativity, and it is a great sensory experience. And a toddler up to an adolescent could enjoy this activity based on their own skill level; obviously the younger the child, the more supervision and assistance they need.

Sorting box - Turn the egg carton into a place to sort objects (like buttons, or small toys by size, color, texture, or any other characteristic. This is a great activity for toddlers and preschoolers to work on fine motor skills, cognitive skills, and academic concepts. Older kids can sort coins to work on money and math concepts. Note: Do not give babies choking hazards and supervise toddlers with small objects!

Goggles - Add some "super goggles" to the dress up wardrobe! Cut out two of the egg "cups" so you have two individual ones. Poke a hole in the bottom of each cup, use pipe cleaners or other objects to connect the two cups and make a band to go around the head or behind the ears to hold the goggles up. Voila - fun goggles to add to dress up costumes! The work that goes into making these goggles works on fine motor skills, sequencing, motor planning, and creativity, especially if your child paints or decorates the goggles before wearing.

Math games - Use a 12 or 18 count container to work on basic math concepts. 1. One example is labeling each egg "cup" with a number. Give your preschool or early elementary age child a pile of small objects (beans, dried pasta, buttons...) and have your child count out the correct number of objects for the corresponding number in each cup. To increase the challenge to work on number recognition and reading, cut up small pieces of paper that are labeled with numbers or number words. Have your child choose pieces of paper, count out the correct number of objects, and place them in the corresponding "cup" of the carton. There are many variations of this game based on a child's skill level.
2. Another example for working on basic addition and subtraction, is to place a cotton ball or small pom pom in each cup of the carton and add or subtract based on simple math equations on a card, using the "math carton" to solve the problem. For example: 4 + 2 = Place 4 cotton balls, 1 in each of 4 cups of the carton, then add 2 more and count the total. Reverse the process for subtraction problems.
This obviously works on academic concepts and cognitive skills. Adding in tongs, chopsticks, or spoons to move the objects increases the challenge for improving fine motor skills.

Musical instruments - Cut out egg cups in sets of two (keeping them attached). Fill them with rice, beans, dried pasta, coins, etc., fold and tape around the edges to keep the contents inside. Decorate with paint, markers, stickers, or glitter to make them fancy. Turn on some music and incorporate your new shakers into a dance!
Separate the top of the container from the bottom, wrap a bunch of elastic bands around the top and you have yourself a little guitar. Now get the shakers and guitar and you've got the makings of a cardboard band! This works on fine motor skills, motor planning (especially if you get your kids trying to make up or copy dance moves), coordination, movement, and creativity.

Planting - Use an egg carton to start a mini planting experiment. Fill the cups with potting soil, plant a see in each, and water. Keep the carton outside so that the water can drain and get some sun. When the seeds start to germinate and require more growing space, transfer the seedlings to larger pots or your garden. This activity is a great sensory experience, good for working on motor skills, coordination, sequencing, and cognitive skills. For older kids, academic concepts can be added in like, keeping an observation journal, writing and/or drawing pictures to describe the process of planting and plant growth, measuring the plant growth with a ruler and graphing it, etc.

Make some Easter eggs - If your egg carton is still full of eggs and you want to make a few easter decorations, use the eggs and carton to make easter eggs. Fill the cups with glue, glitter, dye, and other materials to dip the eggs into to decorate them. Cut out empty cups to display individual eggs as decorations.

These are just some examples of activities to do with an empty egg carton. If given the opportunity and support, I'm sure your kids can come up with even more creative things to turn the egg cartons into. And just think of all the fun things other unused items in your house are waiting to turn in to! If you have a baby (about 9 months and up), just give him or her the empty carton and let the exploration begin. Add in some pots and pans, measuring cups and spoons, and spatulas for a little more fun!
If you have a suggestion for another fun activity, post it below in the comments to share with other parents!

Parenting Tip: Handling Toddler Behavior Problems

2011-04-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Parenting Tip of the Day: When dealing with undesirable behavior from your toddler, keep your cool and rely on your two best friends: Distraction and Redirection. DISTRACTION to stop the behavior from going farther and REDIRECTION to get your child to do a different desirable behavior that they are motivated to do. Don't even attempt negotiating with a toddler or trying to make them do anything by asking or telling, they're just not old enough for those behavior strategies yet.

Here's a recent scenario from my house: My 24 month old son threw his lunch plate on the floor, a common occurrence, and after firmly reminding him that we do not throw plates (as if he was actually listening to that) I asked him to pick it up. He told me "no," which was my cue to use distraction and redirection. In this case the distraction was that I nicely got him down from his chair and with a completely different (positive) tone, I excitedly suggested that "we" put the plate in the dishwasher (something he likes to do), which was the redirection to more appropriate behavior. He immediately changed his attitude from defiant to happy and compliant. He put the plate in the dishwasher by himself, I praised him, he was proud of himself, and we moved on to playing with toys. Will he throw his plate again? Of course. This is a stage he will get over eventually. What I did here was to stop a bad behavior, manipulate the situation to get a good behavior while still allowing him to feel independent, and keep my sanity by avoiding a silly battle with a 2 year old.

Teaching good behavior is much more effective when it's done positively and done using age appropriate strategies. As a parent, it's hard to not lose it sometimes, but taking a second to take a breath and rethink your strategy before reacting negatively can make a huge difference in the response you get from your young child.

The Little Chef - Cooking with your child

2011-04-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

The thought of letting your child be your sous chef in the kitchen may cause you to shudder, but it's less of a big deal than you think. Actually, it can really be quite fun, for you and your child. It just takes setting up the right situation and having the patience to move a little slower and get a little messier.
Not convinced yet? Read on. And if you are all-for cooking with your child or better yet, already do, keep reading to find out all the benefits this fun activity actually has for your child.

The joy of including children in cooking is more about the process than the finished product, so adjusting your expectations a little can make it a more successful experience for your child and for you. It often takes a little release of control (on your part) and allowing for some margin of error. For example, take making cookies from a mix with a 4 year old. If you allow him the opportunity to really participate (not just watch you, because let's face it, that's just no fun for him), then you might end up with a few egg shell shards in the mix and part of the batter on the counter. That's ok. Repeat that to yourself if you need to; "That's OK!" Just take a look at him as he cracks his first egg and feels the squishy yolk, stirs the batter cautiously at first and then with increased speed and control, slightly improves his pouring abilities within the span of making a batch of cookies, and marvels at his finished product. Think of what you have helped him to gain in those few minutes: confidence in succeeding at something new, better pouring skills, a little increased strength from all that stirring, new respect for you for letting him cook, and some quality time with you. Isn't that worth a few egg shells in the cookies and a little batter on the counter that will take you an extra 30 seconds to clean up?

Here's where letting your kids help cook actually works in your favor - The older the child, the more they can do, and the bigger help they actually are in the kitchen. Think about that - they can actually HELP you! So start working on the pouring, measuring, stirring, and chopping skills when they're young so that they've got the experience to do it more independently in a few years. Can you picture your middle schooler making you breakfast in bed or your teenager cooking dinner for the family one night a week? I'm telling you, if this sounds good to you, then start cooking with your kids now!

Cooking with a toddler can also be accomplished while avoiding a disaster in the kitchen. Cooking with two toddlers is also possible - that's right, I said possible, not impossible . Here's an example from my own kitchen; this actually happened this evening: We had stir fry on the menu for dinner tonight and I included my 3 1/2 year old daughter and my son, who just turned 2, in the prep work. I washed the vegetables myself (although my daughter could have easily helped with this), and cut only the green pepper into long, thin slices. I set each of my kids up with a cutting board, a bowl for the cut up veggies, small portions of vegetables at a time (green peppers, green beans, and mushrooms), and a crinkle cutter that they use to chop (a dull vegetable cutter; see the picture at the bottom of the post). My daughter got right to work once I gave her instructions and a quick demo on how to chop each type of vegetable - she's been using the crinkle cutter since she was 2 and knew what to do. My son needed some hand over hand assistance to control the crinkle cutter and the vegetable at the same time when he chopped, but I slowly let him take control until he was doing it all by himself successfully - (did I mention he just turned two, like a couple of weeks ago, and he doesn;t have any special skills; in fact, using the cutter is fairly new for him. So see, a typical toddler can help). They chopped everything but the carrots and were incredibly proud of themselves. Instead of cutting the veggies myself, my efforts were spent helping them do it and I think it probably took about the same amount of time, if not less since there were two of them working. And instead of playing with their typical toys while I cooked, they practiced some new skills that will be very beneficial to them in the future. Of course my son cut the veggies in pieces that were too long or too short and he started to mess around with the scraps before I had a chance to clear them out of his way, but I expected these things to happen, so for me the whole thing was a success. Their assistance ended at the conclusion of the prep work, even though they asked to do more. My husband finished this meal as planned, but the take home message here is that kids can be involved in any part of the making of a meal, it doesn't have to be the whole thing, especially if they are young like my kids.

Suggestions for Cooking with Kids
1. Choose age appropriate tasks - young children do well with short, simple tasks like stirring and dumping ingredients, with an adult's assistance. As children get older and have improved coordination, allow them the opportunity to practice things like pouring, measuring, cracking eggs, etc.
2. Keep it simple - Your child doesn't have to make the entire meal or recipe with you for it to be a successful experience. Choose parts of the recipe or meal that your child can most easily help with or choose something simple to start with if you want your child to help with the whole thing.
3. Have realistic expectations - Plan on getting messy. Plan on it taking extra time. There's the potential that you might even have to start over, although I have yet to need to do that. The finished product may not resemble your best work, but that's not what really matters.
4. Have patience - Keep your child's abilities and attention span in mind when choosing tasks for them to be involved in. But do allow them to get involved, not matter how much harder you think it's going to make cooking, you just might be surprised how much fun you have.
5. Choose the right time - If week nights are chaotic for you and a mad dash to get dinner on the table before bed time, then choosing the weekends to cook with your kids is probably the best situation. Allowing children to participate in cooking does not have to happen every day for them to enjoy it and learn new things, but by doing it on a somewhat regular basis provides them with the opportunity to improve their skills.
6. Use kid-friendly cooking utensils - They really do make these and sell them at stores and online. Look for small whisks, spatulas, crinkle cutters (for kids to chop with - they have a dull edge), even a kid size apron makes them feel like the real deal (and keeps the food off the clothes).
7. Remember that cooking with kids is about teaching them and having fun.

The Benefits for Children
The opportunities for children to participate in cooking tasks provides many benefits that affect a number of different areas of development that carry over to other things and future, more complex abilities (such as writing; interesting how cooking as a young child can have a far-reaching affect like that).
- Strength: Stirring, lifting, and carrying improves upper body strength which is needed for motor skills, such as handwriting and sports.
- Coordination and control: Dumping ingredients, chopping, stirring, cracking eggs, measuring, and pouring, etc. work on coordination skills and refining the amount of pressure or speed they use to improve control (coordination and control are important for just about everything!)
- Sequencing: Following directions in order improves sequencing abilities (not to mention memory), which is important for lots of daily tasks and also for writing and school tasks
- Reading: If your child is old enough to read, following recipes works on reading skills, comprehension, and new vocabulary; if your child is learning to read, looking for words they know or sounding out new words on ingredient containers helps to improve reading skills; and if your child is not yet a reader, looking for familiar letters or numbers on containers and learning new vocabulary is also important for future reading
- Sensory experience: Feeling the variety of textures involved with cooking is important, especially for young children who are still developing their understanding of the objects in the world around them; feeling food textures and becoming comfortable with them can also help young children and picky eaters expand their food interests
- Math and Science: Older kids can work on addition, subtraction, and fractions in real life situations, which helps to improve their retention of these skills; simple arithmetic, counting, and concepts such as more/less can be taught to younger children through cooking; and science concepts can be introduced to kids of all ages through cooking, such as temperature, how different ingredients affect the outcome of the recipe (chemistry), etc.
- Confidence: Helping, creating a final product, and learning new skills are all confidence boosters for children. Cooking builds confidence in a postive way that watching TV or playing video games cannot. Confidence affects many aspects of a child's life and is incredibly important as they get older and become more independent.
- Values: Spending time with family while cooking, cooperating, and enjoing the final product together or sharing it with someone else teaches and reinforces values that cannot be taught by watching TV, even if the show was about values. Being part of the process and having good role models is what is so important. Taking the time to cook with your kids shows them how much you love them and how much you care.

Crinkle cutter photo - the handles are small and the blades are dull; perfect for young children to use:

PLAY! Get creative with play at home

2011-03-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's easy to work on developmental skills at home when you look at the toys and other items in your home in a new way! Turn the TV off and turn some unassuming home items into a fun family activity.

Here is a video of my kids at home. My husband, who has apparently become inadvertently affected by my profession as a pediatric OT, made up a great game with the kids and I caught it on camera so that I could share it with all of you. He used some SquashBlox construction cushions, inflatable dinosaurs from my son's birthday party, and a musical card to create a fun activity for our kids.

They did this over and over and over again! It was hilarious! What my husband didn't realize was how many developmental skills this game actually worked on:
* Color recognition
* Listening skills (auditory processing)
* Coordination
* Balance
* It provided movement and proprioception/heavy work pattern (important sensory components)
* Social skills/cooperation/following instructions (my daughter had been instructed to help her brother who is still learning his colors and to make sure they both went in the same direction)

My kids also recently assisted in starting a garden in our back yard. Being 3 1/2 and 24 months, there wasn't a whole lot they could do, but we all found lots of ways for them to be involved. They helped to carry items to and from our barn. They got to go for rides in the wheelbarrow. My son climbed the bags of compost. My daughter used a small shovel to carry top soil to the wheelbarrow. They both dug with trowels in the dirt and pulled up weeds. My daughter helped to pull the hose all the way to the back yard and they both took turns holding and figuring out how to work the soaker wand to water our plants.

These activities, although not typical play, worked on the following developmental skills and foundations:
* Strength
* Endurance
* Gross motor skills
* Coordination
* Exploration
* Social skills: cooperation and turn taking
* Sequencing
* New vocabulary and nature concepts
* Confidence in accomplishing new tasks

An ingenious friend of mine recently posted a picture on facebook of her son playing hopscotch in the family room using painters tape to mark out the hopscotch path. That's a great way to use random things at home to have fun and work on developmental skills through creative play.

To come up with exciting new creative play at home, look at things around the house and think about how to turn them into fun games or activities for your kids. Try to incorporate any of the following:
* Gross motor skills: running, jumping, skipping, twirling, climbing, somersaults......
* Fine motor skills: grasp, writing/coloring, using scissors, using tongs/chopsticks, play dough.....
* Coordination and motor planning: dancing, cartwheels, jumping rope, ball play, sports.......
* Strength and endurance: wheelbarrow walking, running, climbing, pushing/carrying weighted objects.......
* Cognitive skills: educational concepts, problem solving, new vocabulary, imagination/creativity........
* Sensory components: movement, proprioception (heavy work patterns/jumping), listening skills, visual skills, exploring textures

Unplug the TV, turn the video games off, get creative and have fun! Share your inventive home activities in the comments! We can all learn new ideas from each other!

Fine Motor Skills and age appropriate activities to improve skills

2011-02-28T19:33:00.000-08:00

• I’m preparing you now – this is a long one, but with lots of good information, so if you don’t have the time (or attention span) to read the whole thing, then scan the headings for what is important to you or at least check out the activities at the bottom.

What are fine motor skills?
Fine motor skills are actions accomplished with the fingers and hands (such as cutting with scissors). They are more complicated and intricate than gross motor skills, which are large movements accomplished with larger muscle groups of parts of the body (such as kicking a ball) or even the whole body (such as running). The development of fine motor skills begins at birth when a baby grasps its parent’s finger - a reflex at first, but that movement eventually becomes controlled enough for them to open and close their hand to play with toys. The development of fine motor skills also follows a predictable sequence throughout infancy and the toddler years, each skill building upon itself to become more controlled and refined in order to accomplish more complex tasks as the child gets older. One of the major ‘building blocks’ of these fine motor skills is strength! The skills cannot be mastered correctly if there is a lack of strength in the muscles controlling the fingers and in the hands, arms, shoulders, and torso. If a certain fine motor skill in the sequence is not mastered correctly, it can have an impact on the future development of more complex fine motor skills and the activities that require the use of those skills. One very big and important example is handwriting!

The importance of fine motor skills
Yes, they really are important! Without the use of fine motor skills we wouldn’t be able to care for ourselves or others, engage in occupational activities or favorite hobbies, or even interact with our environment. Fine motor skills are required for almost every activity that we engage in on a daily basis from about the age of 6 months throughout the rest of our life. There are many activities that can be accomplished with fair to poor fine motor skills and some without hands at all, as you may have witnessed from people with amputations or injuries, but there are also many activities that require our fine motor skills to be well mastered and many school tasks and occupations that couldn’t be accomplished without them.

In the world of pediatric occupational therapy, my mother (an OT for 33 years and also co-owner of our OT clinic in Atlanta) has seen a decline in the handwriting and fine motor skills of school age children over the last decade. In most cases of poor fine motor skills (where there is not a birth defect or an obvious developmental explanation for poor fine motor skills) it is often due to a lack of strength in the upper body; the other explanation is a problem with motor planning, but that would usually also be evident in other areas of development, like gross motor skills. Ever since the AAP recommended that babies should be put to sleep on their backs and since a vast amount of contraptions to hold babies have become easily available, infants are missing out on the important developmental opportunities that sleeping on the stomach and playing on their tummies provides. A mere 10 minutes of “tummy time” a day just isn’t enough to build the necessary strength and endurance in the muscles needed for future fine motor and gross motor skills.

How does it all start in infancy?
Babies are born lacking strength in their muscles to support their own weight, which is why babies don’t particularly like tummy time at first (but they do like sleeping on their tummies because of the comfort and proximity to the thumb that it provides). Think back to when you’ve been out of shape and attempting to work out again – it’s hard right? You feel the burn almost immediately and begin to think of reasons why stopping would be a good idea. It’s the same for babies. Holding their heavy heads up against gravity with never before used little, tiny neck muscles and pushing up on their little forearms is difficult and uncomfortable and so they would prefer to stop and be cuddled. But, just like going to the gym a few times, with each session spent on the belly, every baby gains strength and over time builds enough strength to stay in and enjoy this position. (If a baby was born with low muscle tone it is even harder for them to be on their tummy and build strength – if you suspect your baby has low muscle tone, consider consulting with a pediatric occupational therapist to help your child overcome this limitation).

Being on the tummy not only builds strength in the neck, but also the back, chest, shoulders, arms, and hands (all parts of the body needed for fine motor skills). “Tummy time” is important for a great many things that affect development, which I won’t get into now, but as far as motor skills, it is the precursor to things like, rolling and crawling, and the strength built up in this position also improves a baby’s ability to bring her hands together to play with a toy, hold a bottle, clap, etc., not to mention building the strength to be able to sit up in order to bring the hands together to play. In the interest of time and space for typing, I won’t get into all the developmental details; all you have to know is that it is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT for babies to spend LOTS OF TIME on their tummies from day 1, especially for those babies who sleep on their backs. And by this I mean, when a baby is not being held, asleep, or in the car/stroller, then he should be playing on a blanket on the floor, on a parent’s chest or lap, or even playing on his belly in the crib or pack n play. Parents can even hold their baby in their arms with the baby on her tummy (like an airplane or football hold).

The Development Continues
Providing lots of experiences to interact with toys, textures, and gross motor play as children develop is very important for the continued development of fine motor skills. Overall upper body and arm strength is the vital foundation for fine motor skills and crawling is a very important first step. If your child skipped crawling, then even more gross motor play that involves the arms and upper body is important, such as wheelbarrow walking and climbing. Strength: Having adequate upper body, arm strength, and hand strength are important for stability and proper posture when engaging in fine motor activities. With that strength and stability children are able to develop fine motor skills naturally and along a predictable sequence.
Grasp: Typically the progression of grasp goes from raking up small items with the whole hand into the palm to picking up small items with the finger tips and then to picking items up with a tripod grasp (two fingers and thumb; also the best pencil grasp) to then using a refined pincer grasp (thumb and index finger). Through normal every day play opportunities, such as those listed below, babies will go through this sequence naturally. Coloring with crayons comes before writing and for coloring children typically begin with a whole fist grasp, thumb side up and progress to a whole fist grasp that's rotated so the thumb is down. The best grasp for handwriting is with the crayon or pencil tip between the thumb and two or three fingers with the thumb on the writing utensil and not wrapped around the fingers. The space between the thumb and first finger should also be open and not closed. Children often need assistance with using the right grasp. To encourage a tripod pencil grasp try giving your young child crayons that are snapped in half to color with. If your child is close to 2 years old and still coloring with a whole fist grasp, then switch the crayon into a tripod grasp in their hands.
To continue to develop fine motor skills use the age appropriate activities listed below and more complex skills will develop naturally.

Activities to support the development of fine motor skills (skip to the section that corresponds with your child’s age):

Babies:
1. LOTS of time spent on the tummy!!! I really can’t stress this enough!

2. Even before a baby can reach for and pick up his own toy, he can hold something in his hand, so around 3 months of age, start placing small baby toys in your baby’s hand for him to explore (thin, cylindrical or thin plush toys are easiest for their little hands to grasp).

3. Play hand games. Even if your baby can’t bring her hands together yet, play clapping and peek a boo games with her by modeling it for her and then moving her hands. Over time she will gain the skills to do it on her own. Being able to bring the hands together to clap then opens up the ability to bring the hands together to hold a toy (this is also when thumb sucking becomes a lot easier for babies and easier for parents who get tired of dealing with the pacifier).

4. Encourage crawling on hands and knees!!! I know that some pediatricians don’t think that crawling on hands and knees (also known as creeping) is necessary for walking, and it’s not, but it is extremely important for a lot of other developmental skills – like building strength and endurance in the muscles of the neck, shoulders, torso and hands needed for fine motor skills (especially handwriting) and gross motor skills; it also plays an important role in brain development called ‘lateralization of the two hemispheres’ which is important for a great number of things (including reading and writing), but I’ll save that for another post. If you see your child not lifting their belly off the ground to crawl on hands and knees, combat crawling in a strange way, combat crawling past 9 or 10 months, or trying to skip crawling on hands and knees and go to walking – then intervening to get your child up on hands and knees would be really beneficial to their development. Consulting with a pediatric occupational therapist can be helpful if you have any concerns.

5. Encourage self feeding as soon as you introduce cheerios, Gerber Puffs, or other small finger foods. Babies will initially rake the food with the whole hand to pick it up, but over time and with plenty of practice, they refine this skill to using a tripod (thumb and first two fingers) and then a pincer grasp (the thumb and index finger) which are important for later skills like writing, tying shoes, etc.

Toddlers:
1. Playing in textures: finger paint, sand, water play (in the sink, bathtub, large bucket, kiddy pool- use squeezy toys and squirt bottles for finger and palm strength), dried beans (hide small objects in the beans for your child to pick out), play dough (roll snakes and balls, pinch of pieces, hide things in the dough, etc), and the list goes on. Get creative and please don’t shy away from these activities because they are messy – kids need to get messy. Lay down newspaper, beach towels, or a tarp; do activities in the bathtub; take it outside and hose down when done – whatever you have to do to let your kids partake in fun, messy, activities.

2. Crayons, stamps, and paint: most children will follow a typical grasp pattern when using writing tools (and please start with crayons instead of markers); they will go from grasping the whole thing in their hand, thumb side up to grasping with the whole hand and thumb down to (hopefully) a tripod or quadrupod (three or four finger) grasp with the thumb down and not wrapped around the fingers, which is the optimal grasp for writing. Anything deviating from a tripod or quadrupod grasp involves writing with the hand and/or arm instead of the fingers and will cause the writer more work and fatigue. Getting the grasp right early on is vital because changing a bad grasp on a school age child is difficult; having good upper body strength to begin with is key.

To encourage the development of a correct handwriting grasp, give toddlers fat crayons or regular crayons that have been broken in half or knob crayons to color with. Model how to color and draw for your child – they are not born knowing how to do this and need your help – plus it’s a fun thing to do together. Small knob stamps are fun to play with and get the fingers in a tripod position. Painting on an easel is also fun and requires big arm movements which help to build or maintain the strength in the arms and shoulders.

3. Puzzles: Start with knob puzzles and graduate to peg puzzles and cut out puzzles as your child is ready. Moving in this order follows the natural pattern of grasp development. Puzzles (and shape sorters) are also great for working on visual processing skills.

4. Piggy bank: This requires adult supervision as it involves a choking hazard, but picking up coins and putting them in a piggy bank is something that little kids love to do and is great for improving their pincer grasp, fine motor control, and visual processing skills.

5. Use an empty food container with a plastic lid (like cool-whip or oatmeal) to create a toy. Cut different size holes in the lid. Cut different size pieces of foam and have your child push the foam through the holes. Also use materials such as cotton balls, pom poms, washcloth, etc. to push through the holes.

Pre-school and School-age:
1. Play dough, modeling clay, silly putty and other types of play materials with some type of resistance. Use cookie cutters, rolling pins, scissors, and other objects to play with the materials; hide pennies, beans, buttons, etc in it and have your child pick them out with their finger tips. To strengthen muscles for handwriting and pencil grasp, have your child tuck the fourth and fifth fingers of their dominant hand into their palm and use only their first three fingers (including thumb) to form a ball of clay, play dough, or silly putty into a cube, continuing to turn it around and push on the sides until a perfect cube is formed.

2. Use a block of Styrofoam and push 10-20 golf tees into the styrofoam (push all the way to heads of the tees until they’re firmly in) for your child to pull out. This works on strengthening the fingers and palm for handwriting and proper pencil grasp.

3. Cooking: let your child assist with cooking tasks, such as stirring and mixing, opening packages or screw top containers, measuring and pouring. This works on fine motor skills and bilateral coordination.

4. Play with Legos. Legos are tiny and involve a lot of fine motor coordination and strength to pull apart and put together. Many you g children have difficulty playing with Legos on their own at first. The process of thinking of something to build and then planning out how to build it is difficult. Spend time with your child playing with Legos and teaching him or her how to build with them; plus it’s a great way to spend quality time together.

5. Look for games that involve small parts and pieces that need to be manipulated by fingers or hands. Examples: Connect 4, Checkers, Mancala, Tricky Fingers, Fishing game, Monkeys in a Barrel, etc.

6. Crafts: Use scissors, glue, glue sticks, folding paper, coloring, painting, and other materials to create fun art projects. Cut pictures and words out of magazines to create collages. Look up art projects on the internet to do with your child. Remember that children need to be taught how to color, cut, use glue, etc and it is important to teach them how to use them appropriately from the beginning. Color in coloring books and do color by number.

7. Mazes and connect the dots: You can buy books with age appropriate mazes for your child to do, or you can draw some. Mazes and connect the dot games are useful for developing more controlled line drawing, which is important for handwriting and drawing.

8. Gross motor games that work on fine motor strength: Wheelbarrow walking, crab walking, crawling, monkey bars, zip line, climbing on rock climbing walls, etc all help to build strength in the muscles that are also necessary for fine motor skills, arm strength, and upper body strength for handwriting and good desk posture. To make it fun, have wheelbarrow walking or crab walking races, wheelbarrow walk to pick up pieces of candy laid out in a trail or pick up and place scattered puzzle pieces. Play crab soccer. Play on the playground.

9. Puzzles and parquetry: Play with simple to complex age appropriate jigsaw puzzles and parquetry designs.

10. Switch things up during mealtimes and use toothpicks, chopsticks (they do make chopsticks for kids), or tongs to eat food. All of these utensils work on grasp, hand strength, coordination, and control.

This is just a start. Be creative and look for other games and activities to build strength and coordination. Have fun!

Homemade

2011-01-25T18:29:00.000-08:00

Taking a back to basics approach to raising children, or life in general, can involve many different things. One of these things that I haven’t discussed on this blog yet is making things by hand at home: food, clothes, crafts, gardens, maybe even carpentry for the more skillful. Whatever it is, the basic premise behind it is taking care of basic needs by making the end product instead of buying it. As little as several decades ago in our own country (and currently in other cultures around the world) making things by hand was a necessity instead of a hobby. Today we have the luxury of stores and the internet to meet all of our material demands and so the passing down of skills to make products by hand has started to die out along with the value that homemade goods once had.

I feel like these days the word “homemade” sometimes gets a bad rap. It brings to mind art projects made by small children serving as Christmas gifts, ugly baby booties crocheted by an elderly relative, and gifted baked items that you think twice about before eating. There’s a sort of mentality attached that being homemade is somehow inferior to something that has been mass produced and store bought. For others, like me, the mention of the word ‘homemade’ conjures up a whole different set of images that are more associated with comfort, quality, and great care taken by those doing the making. I was raised by a mother who was (and still is) skilled at many crafts. When I was young she knit sweaters, hats, and mittens for my sister and me (which my children now have the benefit of wearing); she sewed clothes for us and smaller versions so that we could coordinate with our dolls; she was also known to weave baskets, stencil, and needle point back then. She also made many of our common food staples from scratch on a regular basis: bread, soups, jams and other canned items, snacks, desserts, and of course all of our meals. I have aunts and a great aunt who are also very talented at these and other skills. They are all wonderful role models of what homemade really means. And I am so jealous of the talents they possess and so I am in the process of slowly trying to increase my own abilities in these areas.

I know, taking a more ‘homemade’ approach sounds silly, right? Why would anyone in this modern era with malls and Amazon at their immediate disposal want to take the time to make something they didn’t have to? Well, it’s certainly not for everyone, but there are several reasons why being a little more ‘homemade’ has its benefits.

For one, as a modern industrialized society we are quickly losing the basic skills of survival and creativity that our culture was built on. How many women in their thirties and younger know how to knit and sew or bake from scratch? How many men in the same age group know how to do any type of carpentry or fix their own car? How many people know how to grow a vegetable garden? To the younger generations, these skills seem like a tradition lost to the ages and unnecessary since we can buy everything we need. But, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment, of being self-sufficient, that comes with being able to create something with one’s own two hands; a feeling that can’t be recreated by watching TV or playing a video game. Our kids and teens these days won’t develop an appreciation for making things by hand and they can’t learn these age old skills to do it themselves unless someone takes the time to teach them. The passing down of this knowledge now falls on the responsibility of family members as programs like home economics and shop class are being deleted from schools at a rapid rate. My mother took a lot of pride in the things she made for us and to this day I treasure the items I still have. My daughter is now benefitting from the adorable wool sweaters and doll clothes that I once used. Although my mother taught me many of these skills along the way, I didn’t have much use for them before and now I find myself with a renewed interest, not only so that I can make things for my family, but also so that I can pass these skills on to my own children some day. It also feels really good to create a finished product with my own two hands that can be enjoyed by others, whether that be homemade bread, soup from scratch, homegrown vegetables, or clothes for my kids.

I think that as a modern culture our country has lost its value for things made by hand because of the disconnect between the product and the creator. We want everything cheap and quickly and don’t think twice about where it is made or who makes it – I am guilty of this as well! Another benefit of teaching kids the skills to create on their own is that it provides children with an understanding of how things are made and where they come from. When they do it themselves or a part of the process they learn to value the product for the time and hard work that went into making it. This sense of value then projects to things that other’s have made by hand. It also translates the old adage of “a job worth doing is worth doing well” in real terms when the product being made is for oneself or a gift for someone else, and ultimately promotes a good work ethic.

Learning a new skill or craft is also good for the old attention span without the distraction of entertainment technology - something that kids today could do with a little more of. When the project being worked on has an end product with some meaning (food to eat, a gift, pride for one’s accomplishment, anything….) then there is motivation to complete the task. When there is motivation to stick with something to get the end product then the time spent focusing one’s attention is increased. Kids today have attention spans far shorter than those of their parents when they were kids, and this has a lot to do with the high-speed technology that kids today spend so much time engaged with. But turning the TV or the computer off and engaging in activities that sustain active brain power on one thing for a while helps to improve the attention span – but only if this happens on a regular basis! If the activity also involves physical action (like gardening or building) then it’s a great way to get the body moving; even baking bread and kneading dough involves more movement than lying on the couch watching TV (and actually is a good activity for young kids to do because it builds strength in the hands and arms, which is needed for handwriting, and gives them a good sensory experience).

Engaging in the process of making or fixing something also requires and promotes the development of creative problem solving – a skill that does not get the chance to develop when kids spend too much of their time involved with entertainment technology that does all the thinking for them. Creative problem solving is really a very important skill, not only for excelling in academics and occupations, but also for everyday life.

And another great thing about teaching your children how to make things by hand is that it gets the whole family involved in homemade projects and promotes time spent together, talking, laughing, and making memories without the TV on. It forces you to slow down and enjoy each other’s company. And in the end you have something to show for your efforts and to be proud of!

Well, there you have it – a few reasons to get creative at home and involve the kids.

Reflections on my own attempts at balancing technology

2011-01-10T19:10:00.000-08:00

Looking back, I think I have always approached raising my children in a low-tech manner, trying to re-create the comfort of how I was raised, even since the birth of my first born in 2007. It’s just that this past year I actually put a name to it when I realized that my philosophy isn’t exactly in sync with the rest of the modern culture. It wasn’t entirely obvious at first because many of my friends feel the same way and automatically raise their children based on this simple philosophy. But the more encounters I have with the rest of the population, the more daycare and educational programs I come across, and the more I read about the current state of our youth growing up addicted to high-speed technology, the more I see that the masses have given in to convenience, excess, and instant gratification and unfortunately it has become the rule, not the exception. Apparently my philosophies are the exception and I find myself giving explanations, excuses even, for why my children watch very little TV (in fact no TV at all up until recently, but more on that later) because it seems like such a shock to many parents.

Really, my main agenda, when it comes to how technology is used by my children, is creating a balance where it is used in moderation so as to give them experience without it ruling their lives. So far, I feel like I have found a good balance. Up until recently we had the TV off when the kids were awake, mostly because my son was too young to watch it and my daughter had shown some very undesirable behavior problems when the TV had been a regular habit. Having the TV off actually worked incredibly well for us and, after a brief transition, my children didn’t even miss it. We even downgraded our cable package because we weren’t using most channels. We added DVR, which has been very useful because my husband and I can watch our own programs when it’s convenient for us and we can now control what our daughter watches during her screen time and not just have to play what is on at that time. Which leads me to the recent changes we have made in our screen time policy.

This November my three year old daughter dropped her nap and ever since has been watching an hour of TV a day in the afternoon while my 21 month old son is napping (he only sneaks in a few minutes of TV if he wakes up and my daughter is just finishing her show). I have to admit that part of the decision to put the TV back on for my daughter was based on me being able to have some time to get things done without her underfoot all afternoon, but I also didn’t think it necessary to continue to completely deprive her of screen time. The routine, so far, is that for the first hour while her brother is sleeping we read for a little while and then she plays alone or hangs out with me while I do some things around the house. In the second hour she may watch an hour of sesame street (which I DVR – a piece of technology that certainly has come in handy) or something else I’ve deemed appropriate for her, but ONLY if she has had good behavior during the day. She has to EARN her one hour of screen time. But it is one hour only and then she may has her afternoon snack when the show is over. She is not allowed to eat while watching the show and my reasons for that have to do with the fact that she would want more food once the show was over anyway (the eating thing is a whole other story). There has been some behavior associated with bringing the TV back into her life. She has her moments where she whines for more, but as time goes on and I stick to this rule of only 1 hour of TV I get less and less of the whining. It’s only when I have allowed her to watch more (like when I thought I was giving her a special treat of watching short children’s Christmas movies back to back over the holidays) that she starts all over again with her attempts to keep the TV going. I can see how the addiction starts so easily! But this reorganization of TV use seems to be going fine for everyone, as long as I stick to the 1 hour rule, and it is actually a really great tool for motivating my daughter to have good behavior!

So, although the balance for my children is under control, my biggest problem in this technology tug of war is myself! I do not reject technology for everyone (mostly just for my kids at this point in their lives) and I even use many forms of technology everyday myself. The problem is that lately I have not been applying the same principles of moderation to myself when it comes to my phone and my computer. I have to find a way to ‘unplug’ more often; I think it will help me to feel more balanced in my own life and possibly give me more time in my day. My iphone is most frequently the culprit. It is just too easy to pick up and check my email, facebook, the weather report, a website…. Far too often I find myself telling my kids “just a minute, I have to finish this email first” when they are requesting my attention (which makes me feel horrible, yet I still finish the email). Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I try to do most of my computer work at night or when my daughter is watching her 1 hour of TV and my son is sleeping, but somehow I never get everything accomplished because EVERYTHING seems to require a computer these days: communication with friends and colleagues, shopping, paying bills, getting information/directions, organizing photos, and not to mention paperwork for my job. Many of these computer tasks are unavoidable, and like I said, can be accomplished when my kids are asleep. It’s the iphone dependency that is unnecessary and which I really need to break. I even find myself wanting to check it while sitting at stop lights (which, by the way, is now illegal in Georgia). It’s like my brain constantly needs entertainment. I can’t just be alone with my thoughts or enjoy the radio – I need multiple forms of stimuli feeding my brain in order to feel fulfilled. If I have evolved into an iphone addict so easily, then it worries me that my children could very easily get sucked into the obsessive world of technology too, before they’ve had a chance to fully develop all of their developmental and intellectual skills naturally. And, of course I am my children’s most influential role model at this point, so I know that I need to set a good example for them. If I don't teach them how to use technology in a responsible way and in moderation, then who will?

It’s not going to be easy, but I am officially going to try to break my iphone addiction by checking it less frequently, keeping it zipped up in my purse while driving, and keeping it out of close proximity so as not to be tempted to use it when I am engaged with my children – in fact, it will probably promote more quality interactions with my children because I won’t be so distracted. I’ll keep you posted on how this new transition progresses!

It's a New Year - Back to the blog!

2011-01-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! If you’ve read my blog before, then welcome back and I apologize for the lack of posts over the last couple of months. Over the holidays updating the blog fell down to the lower part of my priority list right along with painting my toe nails (and I still haven’t had time to get to that). But I’m back with a renewed motivation for posting (and also a 4 hour car ride back to Atlanta). So I’m starting this year off with a couple of posts that are a little more personalized; more my thoughts and reflections than information sharing. If you are new to this blog (or need a refresher), then here’s a summary on what it’s about (or you can just read the first entry from 2010). The title of the blog says a lot, it’s about raising children with a back to basics philosophy: playing outside, getting dirty, using all of the body’s senses (not just the ones required for watching TV), cooking, helping with chores, making forts, having tea parties….. and all in the most authentic, organic sense, not in a virtual reality. This blog is for parents who have a vested interest in the type of quality experiences that their children have on a daily basis, knowing that these are formative years and what happens in childhood sets the tone for future skills, acquired intelligence, relationships, morals and values.

I do not claim to be an expert on anything; instead I am one of these parents who is holding fast to my cherished memories from my childhood spent playing in the woods and in tide pools, playing dolls and restaurant, riding bikes and making up games, and wanting so badly for my children to take pleasure in the same without whining for TV and video games instead. But I am also a professional in the field of child development and a former teacher, so it is important for me to make sure that not only are my children engaging in activities that enhance their development (not hinder it), but that I share the same beneficial knowledge of child development that I live and work by with the children and families I work with and other interested parents. This blog aims to help other parents balance the ever expanding selection of technology-based toys and entertainment with good, old fashioned creative play (no batteries or directions allowed) in order to provide our children with a well-rounded childhood that encourages the development of:
motor skills (for coordination, playing sports and instruments or basically just not ending up like Gumby)
cognitive skills (for learning to read, write, and acquiring the knowledge to succeed in school and oh, I don’t know, life I guess)
creative thinking skills (for, well let’s face it, being able to be an original person with original ideas, to problem solve, to create, to have an imagination, to be innovative, to “think outside the box” – a handy skill if one wants to excel at their chosen profession, no matter what the field)
social skills (for having successful and rewarding relationships with people – not computers or phones; for understanding social cues, problem solving, being able to feel empathy and sympathy, developing good character traits….the list goes on and cannot be taught by TV or the computer, but certainly can be negatively influenced by them)
language skills (for speaking, writing, and conversing without the use of abbreviations and acronyms – OMG lol)
and last, but not least attention span (for being able to keep one’s brain actively zoned into an activity long enough to complete it or get something out of it, oh like homework maybe)

However, in no way are these blog posts only limited to topics concerned with technology (or trying to avoid it). I’m interested in the bigger picture. Future posts will involve topics that relate to a variety of aspects of life that have an impact on child development and the development of the culture that we create called family (nutrition, teaching values, family traditions, etc).

The balancing act of blending modern culture with an old school philosophy is certainly a lifestyle choice that is far from all or nothing. My blog is meant to be a resource to help parents make some of these lifestyle choices that are right for their families; and in the process, hopefully finding an equilibrium they feel content with. I usually present research-based information in my posts that support this ideology of a back to basic approach to raising kids, offer some points for reflection, and end with ideas for ways to make it happen (ie. activities to do at home). I also try to use my life experiences to show the reality of this as I am in the throes of working parenthood with two toddlers, two dogs, and a husband all buckled in for this interesting ride (sorry for the car metaphor, but it’s what came to mind as I’m still in one, only about half way home now).
I appreciate comments because I like to learn from other parents too (and I don’t like being the only one doing all the talking), but if you’re just reading these posts, taking from them what you like and using that to help you, then I have done my job.

That’s about it. If you enjoy what I have to say, please share my blog with others!

Active Play

2010-11-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

"Throughout most of human history child engagement in rough and tumble outdoor play and imaginary games resulted in the achievement of adequate sensory, motor and attachment development required for attention and learning (Ayres J 1972, Pelligrini A 2005, Tannock M 2008)." ALL children (young children and adolescents) need 3 to 4 hours a day of active play and movement to achieve enough stimulation to the vestibular, proprioceptive and tactile sensory systems (National Association for Sport and Physical Education 2002) in order to develop their posture, bilateral coordination and optimal arousal states necessary for things such as, handwriting and reading literacy (Schaff R 2007, Braswell J 2006, Rine R, 2004), as well as motor skills, attention span, social skills, etc.

What Is Active Play?
Active play can look like many things, but basically it is any type of play activity where the body is moving and the mind is engaged in the activity. Playing on the playground, playing sports, running, jumping, gymnastics, music class, dance, taking a walk, playing an outside game with friends, playing make believe, etc. Active play can also include sensory activities, such as sand or water play, bath tub play, finger painting, art activities, play dough, etc.

Why Is Active Play Important?
Active play uses the whole body, the mind, and the senses together. "The most critical factors for optimal child development are movement, touch and connection to other humans (Insel R 2001, Korkman M 2001)." Moving the body through running, jumping, swinging, crawling, lifting, pushing, etc. builds strength and endurance in the muscles needed for engaging in playground and athletic activities with peers, maintaining good desk posture and pencil grasp for school work, developing good handwriting, and so on.

The repetition involved in doing these movements helps to enhance motor skill development. Children become more skilled at using playground equipment, playing sports, performing dance and gymnastics moves, playing instruments, etc, the more they do it. For younger children, engaging in age appropriate movement activities helps them to gain the motor skills such as, running, climbing, and jumping with 2 feet, which are building blocks for the more complex motor skills they will develop when they are older.

The movement involved in running, jumping, swinging, climbing, and heavy work (i.e. pushing/pulling objects or lifting one's own body weight) is important for regulating and organizing the body's nervous system, especially for children with sensory processing disorders or ADHD. Regulating and organizing the nervous system means getting the body to a normalized energy level where the brain and body can most efficiently process information and perform or behave at its best. Think of the body as a car; when the engine is going too fast it's hard to keep the car in control, the driver is going too fast and may miss important things or make mistakes. If the car engine is too slow, the car is sluggish and it takes a long time to get where it needs to go, making it difficult to get things accomplished. When the car engine is going at a just right speed it is performing at its best. Through activities that involve movement and strength we can get a child's body and nervous system to a "just right" speed, which will help them to have better behavior and attention to perform classwork and home activities and can also improve their performance in these activities because a brain working at a just right speed can process information more efficiently.

Getting appropriate amounts of active play plays an important role in attention and behavior. "For every 1 hour of TV watched each day between the ages of 0 and 7, the risk of attention problems by the age of 7 increases by 10% (Christakis, D., 2004)." Studies have shown that access to “green space” for 20 minutes per day significantly reduced ADHD symptoms, yet drug use continues to climb. Inner city children suffer from ADHD at three times the rate of children in rural areas (Kuo F 2004). Getting energy out during active play also helps to improve a child or adolescent's behavior and attention for other sedentary tasks (such as school and homework assignments). For children who are typically low energy, engaging in active play can, converesely, help to increase their energy levels to improve their attention span for classroom activities as well. Getting appropriate amounts of active play in at home or in organized sports programs is especially important now that schools have significantly reduced or eliminated outside recess time and PE from their daily schedules.

Active play is also important because the mind is engaged in the activity. When the brain is active it is learning things, improving its efficiency and improving motor skills/language skills/social skills/sensory processing skills. In other words, it is getting smarter, faster, and better.
Engaging the mind in activity also encourages creative thinking. Children playing together, whether inside or on the playground, often create a storyline to guide their play. This storyline is sometimes imaginary or some scenario from their own life that they want to practice or play out. Using the imagination in play is incredibly important for developing creativity, practicing roles and social skills, as well as developing the ability to play a "movie in the mind" for book reading, story telling or internal organization of information.
Children playing together, and boys especially, often create games and make up rules for their new games. This is an important creative skill that also involves practicing social skills.

Active play involves using the body's sensory systems. This is very important for learning because we process information from our environment though our senses to learn new things. Everyone processes sensory information differently, some better than others. Everyone knows someone who gags at the touch of slimy textures, refuses to wear shirts with tags, is a picky eater, is clumsy, or is easily overwhelmed in noisy or crowded situations. These are a few examples of problems with sensory processing and it is all due to the hard wiring of our brain and nervous system. But the good news is that it can be improved, especially in childhood when our brains are most easily "re-wired." And engaging in movement and sensory activities on a daily basis is one of the best ways to improve sensory processing skills. "In primitive times, human beings engaged in physical labor, and sensory stimulation was natural and simple. Rapid advances in technology and transportation have resulted in a physically sedentary society with high frequency, duration and intensity of sensory stimuli (Nelson M 2006)."

Creating Opportunities for Active Play for Your Child
Besides playing on the playground or letting your child run around the backyard, here are some other ways to engage your child in active play (starting with toddlers and progressing to adolescents):
* Make forts in your living room out of couch cushions, pillows, blankets, and other items, for your child to climb under, over, through or play inside - you can also buy tent and tunnel sets for around $30 and up
* Use pillows, cushions, stools and other houseold objects to create an obstacle course in your house for your child to go through; add in things like somersaulting, jumping, log rolling, etc and don't forget to demonstrate!
* Sand play, water play (in the sink, tub, or a bucket/baby pool outside), play dough, painting, etc. There are even recipes online for homemade play dough, slime, gak, moon sand, etc.
* Cooking: even toddlers can be involved in cooking by letting them pour/dump ingredients and stir; give them their own cooking bowls and utensils to immitate mom or dad. Older kids can also chop food with blunt knives (while supervised of course). Involve kids in making food for meals, which will build self esteem and for picky eaters it often motivates them to try what they have made.
* Classes and playgroups: music class, movement classes (like Gymboree and Little Gym), tumbling or gymnastics, ballet/tap/other dance classes, art class, open gym or playgroups at playcenters (Monkey Joe's Kangazoom, and Play are a few Atlanta-based play centers), and local playgroups with neighbors or through mom clubs.
* Sports/Games: pee wee sports for young kids and organized sport teams for older kids. Encourage kids to play sports at home too by having balls, bats, tricycles, jump rope, and other kid-sized equipment on hand and use them with your kids. Teach your kids fun outside games to play with friends: tag, Red Rover, Mother May I, Red Light/Green Light, etc. Look for inside games that involve movement: cherades for kids, twister, etc.
* Play clothes and objects for imaginative play: costumes, consignment items, or even your old clothes can be kept in a suitcase or drawer for your child to pretend play alone or with friends. It's not all princesses and dolls, even young boys enjoy dressing up and pretending; so include costumes and clothes that your son and his friends are interested in too. Child size kitchens are also fun for toddlers on up to pretend with.
* Outdoor fun: walks, hikes, bike rides with family and friends. Scavenger hunts while on these walks and hikes are fun for older kids.

This is just a sampling of ideas for active play activities. Be creative, but also let your child be your guide and then add in new challenges. If you have a mobile baby or toddler, then really any activity that gets your young child moving (climbing, rolling, lap games, walking, running, movement games, water play, carrying toys ,,,,,) count as active play. And it's easy with babies and toddlers - most will just engage in active play naturally.

Props to the Playground Parents

2010-10-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

Taking your kids to the playground can be challenging. My children are 18 months apart in age and I have to admit that once my second child was born I didn't frequent the local playgrounds and parks too often, until recently. Now that my kids are 3 years old and 18 months I find it easier and more rewarding to visit the playgrounds because finally, they both can engage in the many motor challenges offered. We started going to the parks more because we don't have the necessary equipment in our backyard to continue challenging my kids' motor skills. I needed to give them new and more opportunities to build on the skills that they already have by climbing, swinging, jumping, sliding, twirling,and running in environments other than our backyard. Children need 3-4 hours a day of active play in order for proper development of their motor and sensory skills, not to mention building social skills and self confidence, and also getting their energy out. Venturing out to plagrounds is a great way to give kids variety in where and how they play, making it more fun and motivating for them.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, taking children to the playground can be challenging, but so rewarding once you make it a habit! My husband and I have started a new Saturday morning routine of running up to our local Great Harvest bakery, pushing the kids in the double jogging stroller, having breakfast, and then stopping off at a nearby playground for a while before running home. This gets us outside as a family, keeps us in shape, provides a weekend tradition that we now look forward to, and gets the kids over to a playground that they enjoy. Becoming a "regular" at the bakery and the park, has even brought its own benefits and a renewed connection to our community, which in today's society and especially living in a city, seems to be ocurring less and less.
Since starting this weekend ritual I have realized that we are seeing the same people at this park each weekend - other families, regulars, with their own, similar weekend rituals. I have also started to notice some of these same families at other parks in our area on different days. I never noticed this before because I never frequented the parks on a regular basis - but there are all these families who make it a regular habit of taking their kids to the parks and I have to give them huge props for making this consistent effort to get their kids out of the house, load them into the car or strollers, and get them over to the playgrounds to play so frequently. I know it can't be easy - it certainly isn't always easy for me to do it - but it is so important for children to get this regular opportunity to challenge their skills on playground equipment and to socialize with other children their age.

As parents, we don't take kids to the park for our own benefit (other than maybe to wear the kids out so they sleep well). Much of going to the park entails a lot of work on our end and then involves keeping an intense vigil to prevent injuries. But it is comforting to see familiar faces in the other regular families, fun to make connections with other parents, and exciting to watch your children excel at using their bodies in new and increasingly challenging ways and making their own new friends too. And it is so worth the effort when we can understand and recognize how this regular opportunity for active play is benefitting our children: Children who master motor skills, like climbing, jumping, swinging, skipping, riding a bike, etc, build confidence in themselves and use those skills to engage in other new and more challenging experiences; children who regularly interact and play with their peers develop better social skills and have an easier time making friends; and children who spend time engaged in active play each day exhibit fewer attention problems.
To recognize the effects of frequent playground time, watch your child as he/she makes new advances over time: building the confidence and skills to go from sliding on their stomach to on their bottom without any help, to cliding down the tall, twisty slide; being afraid to climb the rock wall, to trying just a few holds, to climbing all the way to the top with a huge smile and sense of accomplishment; from needing a push to swing to pumping their legs independently; from quietly watching other kids play to approaching other kids and playing with them. These developmental progressions won't occur by staying at home and watching TV; kids have to have repetetive experiences to build these skills and make these accomplishments and playing on the playground regulary is a fun and easy way for them to develop their skills naturally.

Do all of these regulars I see bring their kids to the park to play so frequently because they know the importance of it for the reasons listed above or because they just know their kids love it? Whatever the reason that they make the effort, I applaud these playground parents for putting their children's developmental needs and enjoyment first!

Reading Early! Part 1: Infancy

2010-09-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

Can you really read to an infant?

Some people think it somewhat ridiculous to read books to a small baby. This never occurred to me, as I’ve always thought of someone reading aloud to be so calming and intimate, and therefore most appropriate for children of all ages. I still remember reading a few books to my then 5 month old son. He sat in my lap and calmly listened to my voice as a flipped through some pages of board books. He was relaxed, but not really focusing on the books that I was reading--until we started the last one. This book was actually an accordian style book: a series of different photographs of baby faces, some in black and white. He was entranced. And amazingly, when we looked at the picture of a baby smiling, he started grinning himself. Could he understand my comments about the photos? Could he answer me when I asked him if the baby was sleeping? Of course not. But he was sharing a special moment with me, and the book was what linked us in that moment. Though young, infants can appreciate and enjoy being read to and exposed to books. And most importantly, the comfort and joy they are experiencing will continue to grow as they develop into life-long readers.

When to read to your baby!

By about 6 months, reading should be incorporated into your child’s daily schedule. Most parents enjoy sharing books before bedtime, when baby is just bathed, warm and snuggled in your lap. Naturally this is an ideal time to wind down their day. However, this is not the only time available for reading. Young babies especially (less than 4 months) should be read to during “quiet alert” times. This is that lovely time of day when your child is 1) awake 2) calm 3) interested. If baby is kicking up a storm or begins fussing, s/he might be overstimulated, bored, or getting tired. It is most important to pick times of the day that are relaxing and convenient, so you can really enjoy the experience, rather than having to glance at the clock, or stop halfway through because the kitchen timer just went off.

I say “times” plural because as your baby grows older and approaches toddlerhood, I think it is important to read multiple times a day. Reading can be a wonderful transition between times of the day, and frequent reading sessions sends an important message to your child: we read because we enjoy it, not just because it is bedtime. Busy families who work and have children in childcare need not shake their heads at this idea. Imagine, reading aloud a board book over cheerios in the morning or sharing a book during bath time. I loved reading a book to my son when I picked him up for childcare in the afternoons. Rather than whisking him away immediately, I sat down in his space with his friends and teachers, and read a book, usually gaining a large audience of his peers. Of course this isn’t done everyday, and it doesn’t need to be. But the more you show your child that reading is a part of your day, throughout the day, the sooner they will seek out books on their own, for quiet and independent time.

(Upcoming) Part 2: Book Selection for Infants and Toddlers

What's Wrong With Getting Messy?

2010-09-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

My Kids Get Messy
As a parent I often feel like I am constantly trying to prevent my kids from creating one distaster after another. I hear myself saying "you can't do that because it will make a mess" to my kids all the time. But I often feel bad for stopping what is only their curious exploration and it got me thinking - why not let them get messy? What's so wrong with it? Why was I really stopping them? Well, when I thought about it, the answer was that I was usually stopping them because I didn't want to clean up a mess; but I realized that most of the time they weren't actually going to ruin anything by getting a little messy. So, I decided that I would ease up on them a little; let them make a mess when it was perfectly safe and they weren't in danger of getting hurt or ruining something permanently. Of course I still want to teach my children to be responsible with our belongings, but letting them splash around in the bathroom sink, roll around in the yard stuffing rocks and acorns into their pockets, smearing mashed potatoes on their arms, and cutting a piece of paper into a hundred tiny pieces isn't going to encourage destructive behavior. I figured that allowing them to engage in their natural, developmentally appropriate interest in sensory exploration was way more important than the extra few minutes I would have saved by not having to clean up after them - plus, that's what soap, laundry detergent, and Mr Clean Magic Erasers are for!
My kids seem to really enjoy themselves when I don't stop them from getting messy. They don't act like it's a big reward that they get to sit in the dirt or transfer cupfulls of dog food into dog bowls spilling it everywhere - they just act normal and happy, like they're supposed to be doing these things. It's when I stop them that they get upset and frustrated that they don't get to carry out this natural curiosity. But the best thing is that I've seen some growth in my children as they have developed new skills from all this messy play that I don't interupt. My son has gotten more accurate at pouring as he dumps dog food from the bin into bowls. My son doesn't try to play with his food as much now since I have let him explore putting it on himself. He is also independent with using a fork and spoon after just letting go and allowing him to get food everywhere while trying to use the utensils. Both of my kids are getting better at cleaning up after themselves (with my instruction of course); through making messes I am teaching them about being responsible for their actions. For example, one day I allowed the hand washing at the bathroom sink to evolve into some serious water play. I kindly told my daughter what would happen if she got wet. Of course she got wet after she and her brother splashed a little too exuberantly and she cried because her clothes were wet. But I followed through with what I had said: that she had to clean up the mess before she changed her clothes. I also told her that she was still allowed to play in the sink when she asked for permission, but in the future, if she splashed that much and got wet that she would have to stay in her wet clothes. Now I know that might sound mean, but since then she has played in the sink with her brother many times, but has not let the splashing get to the point of getting her clothes wet again.

Why Messy Play Is Important - A developmental perspective

Infants and young children are hard wired to use their bodies to explore their environment. Everything is new to them and they need to take in all sensory components (sight, sounds, touch, taste, smell) in order to learn about new things. Babies use their mouths to explore new objects. Anyone who has taken a psychology class may remember that this is what Freud refers to as the 'oral phase.' And as parents of babies we spend countless hours a day trying to take things out of our baby's mouth. Although there is a very real risk of babies choking on small objects, they aren't necessarily putting these objects in their mouths to eat them. It's important to allow babies to use their mouths to explore because this is the way they learn about their environment at this age, but we also need to make sure that we're only allowing them to put safe items in their mouths.
As babies age and turn into toddlers they use their hands more to explore. They are learning about all the sensory stimulation in their environment by actively putting their hands on things, learning cause and effect when they try to use objects in their environment in different ways, discovering their own limits of tolerance for certain textures and tastes, and most importantly, they are developing and strengthening their own sensory processing skills (which occur on a neurological level) so that they can interact with their ever changing environment in a successful way. For example, when a child plays with his oatmeal he is learning about the lumpy, sticky texture, to pull his hand away if it's too hot, that it makes a splat sound and sticks to the table if he throws it (which he also learns that his mother doesn't like), it feels good to rub around the table top, it tastes sweet and feels mushy in his mouth, that he does/does not like the feeling of it in his hair, etc. If a parent only spoon fed this child, not allowing him to use his hands or a spoon to feed himself and not allowing him to explore during the mealtime, then he would never really learn what oatmeal really is - he would only know the word. (He also would not become indpendent with a spoon if he was not allowed experiences to use it.) The same goes for thousands of other objects and situations in our environment. We have to interact with objects to learn all that we need to know about them and how to use them.

Getting messy and dirty is natural for children - they don't think about trying to get stains out of their clothes or keeping their hands clean. They also don't understand why adults tell them not to interact with objects in their environment just because they're not clean. They see something interesting and want to explore what it feels like, smells like, maybe even what it tastes like, they want to see what they can do with it, they want to collect more, and so on. Stifling that curiosity just because your afraid this new found dirty object of theirs will get your child's hands dirty is depriving them of learning. Playing in the dirt and even eating a little now and then will not harm your children; in fact, it helps to build a healthy immune system. This over-protection from dirt and germs can also inadvertantly cause some unnecessary anxieties in children about getting dirty.

Beyond just allowing your kids to engage in activities that might make a mess, you can also create opportunities for your children to participate in messy play. Play dough, sand box, cooking, water play, painting and other art projects, fort building, stick drawing, bubbles, gardening, etc are all activities that are messy but great opportunities for exploring different senses, working on gross motor and fine motor skills, building knowledge, and having fun. See below for links to websites for more ideas.

Bottom Line: Not all potential messes are appropriate situations to let your kids get into; if there is the chance that your child could get hurt, learn how to do something you don't want them to do, or damage property then you should step in and encourage your child to do something else. But if the mess they want to get into is harmless, then try taking a step back once in a while and letting them have some fun (you may even have fun too if you join in). It won't hurt you to clean up after them; or heck, include them in the clean up, which they might enjoy as well and it teaches your kids to be responsibile for their actions.

Websites with Ideas for Messy Play:

Sensory activities
Clever Toddler Activities: Preschool science
Recipes for messy play
Messy Outdoor Fun For Kids

How Do You Make Fall Fun For Your Kids?

2010-08-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Summer is almost over and my favorite season is almost here.... Fall! I love all the fun seasonal activities that occuring during fall! I have really great memories of apple picking, pumpkin carving, making apple pies, raking the yard and jumping in leaf piles, trick or treating, playing soccer, and participating in holiday traditions as a kid. Fall is the perfect time to plan some fun indoor and outdoor activities for your family that encourage your kids to get away from the TV, use their bodies and their imagination, and make memories that your kids will cherish even as adults.
In the fall the weather starts to get cooler, and if you live in the south like me, that means more time to comfortably be outside. This is a good time to take advantage of the outdoors and do things like taking walks, hiking, camping, riding bikes, picking seasonal fruit, playing sports, picking and carving pumpkins, fishing, etc. Even on weekdays when it's a little more difficult to do some of those activities, try getting out in the yard or a nearby park and playing for a little while each day. Take walks around the neighborhood.

The holiday season also begins during the fall, and with that, lots of fun and creative activities and traditions. Creating traditions is exciting for children; it gives them fun activities or events that don't happen very often to expect and look forward to each year. Can you think of some traditions that your family had when you were a child and how much you enjoyed them? Children really get into holidays and enjoy the seasonal crafts that can be done during these times. If you're not naturally creative, there are tons of websites with free ideas and print outs for holiday crafts to do with children of all ages. Your older children may even enjoy helping you decorate the house or make food for holidays. The holidays are also a good opportunity to reinforce values in your children, such as being thankful, giving back to others, cherishing family time. Children learn best from parents who lead by example. My mom used to take my sister and me to buy and deliver toys to families in need around the holidays, which is something that was, and still is, very meaningful to me. But even something as simple as buying some canned goods and bringing them to a local food drive can teach children about giving.

My kids are still young (17 months and almost 3), so our fall activities may be a little more limited than families with older children, but I'm still very excited about all the things we will be able to do together this fall!
* Hiking - we live in the Atlanta metro area, but we're still able to get to local Chattahoochee parks or drive an hour or more to get to some mountain trails. At this point in our family we look for short, easy trails (that we can use our BOB stroller or kid pack on) with something fun for the kids, like a waterfall to hike to or a nature center to visit and learn about animals. Hopefully next year our kids will be old enough for us to get back to camping.
* Apple picking, pumpkin patches and visiting farms - there aren't as many local opportunities to pick apples down here in Georgia as there were in Maine, where I grew up, but after doing some internet searching I've found a number of family friendly orchards where we can pick or buy freshly picked apples. Many of these places also have hayrides, corn mazes, and pumpkin patches. We have also found some farms with livestock to look at and pet, as well as cow milking and farm tours.
* Playing outside - now that it's starting to get out of the 90s, we'll be able to spend more time in the yard playing with outside toys, in the sandbox, bubbles, chalk and paints, going on walks, and playing on the playground at local parks. My kids are fascinated by the rocks, leaves, and sticks they find in our yard - fall is a fun time to make leaf pressings or laminate leaves into bookmarks or other crafts; and sorting rocks can be a good cognitive skill for toddlers to practice. Invite your kids friends over to come play in the yard too - children often use their toys more or come up with creative games when they have peers to play with.
* Crafts and decorating - my daughter is really into arts and crafts already and this year she will have the fine motor skills to participate in some fun, simple holiday crafts. Like I said above, I use the internet to find ideas for crafts and I also shop at a local craft store for inexpensive projects. Last year she had fun putting holiday windwod stickers up, but this year she'll also be able to help me with decorating the house for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
* Reading - I love seasonal and holiday books and my daughter really got interested in them for the first last winter. We have a few of our own classic holiday books and will also be visiting the library frequently to check out new ones. We have also created some family traditions around holiday books, such as Elf on a Shelf and Twas The Night Before Christmas.
* Holiday videos - Pull out old family photos and videos from when your kids were younger or from when you were a child and share memories with your kids. My kids are still a little young for this, but for older children there are some great, classic holiday movies that are short, share good messages and don't have the violence and mature language that some modern movies do. Watch them together as a family! The Peanuts movies, the old animated Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Frosty's Winter Wonderland, Jim Henson's Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, etc.
* The smells, tastes, and sounds of fall - I love the hearty foods associated with fall and really enjoy making them. My kids already help me make homemade applesauce (my son peels the stickers off the apples and my daughter washes and dries apples, then chops them with her kid's crinkle knife). My daughter helps me chop vegetables for soup too. As they get older I will involve them in making more of my favorite fall foods, like chili, breads, apple pies, and soup. Teaching your children about sensory experiences (smells, tastes, sounds) helps them expand their language, gain better awareness of their environment, and helps them enjoy experiences more. Take the time to talk about the smells and tastes (spiced apples, pumpkins, apple cider, pine trees, etc) and about sounds (crackling fires, animal sounds, the weather, etc) as your kids experience them.
* Music - Play and sing seasonal and holiday songs with your kids. If they're young, teach them the words to simple songs, like 5 Little Pumpkins; if your kids are older and musical, try learning to play some seasonal music on instruments. Also, it has nothing to do with fall, but we've enrolled in a local music class once a week that my kids love!

These are just a few examples of activities to do with children in the fall that are simple, wholesome, encourage movement and thinking, and involve doing things together as a family. What are some fun fall activities that you do with your kids or remember doing as a child? Please share them with us by posting a comment!

Memories are created when there are stong sensory and emotional components to experiences; your children will fondly remember these experiences from their childhood and not the TV shows they watched or the video games they played. Their minds and bodies will also benefit from getting outside, playing, being creative and sharing experiences as a family. And you will cherish these memories as well when your children are grown and living on their own. Take the time now to enjoy the fall season with your family!

Too Much Technology?

2010-08-16T10:15:00.001-07:00

"In primitive times, human beings engaged in physical labor, and sensory stimulation was natural and simple. Rapid advances in technology and transportation have resulted in a physically sedentary society with high frequency, duration and intensity of sensory stimuli" (Nelson M 2006) - from the Zone'In Fact Sheet, Rowan, 2010.
It is apparent that technology now plays a major role in the daily lives of adults, adolescents, and young children. But how much is too much? Basically any technology entertainment below the age of 2 is too much, and even beyond that the TV and video games do nothing to improve a child's intellectual or physical development. Below are some statistics, taken from the Zone'In Fact Sheet by Cris Rowan, on the current overuse of technology concerning children and then below that are some facts on what children actually need for their developmental growth.

The current state of technology use by children:
* On average, children ages 0-2 years are watching 2.2 hours of TV per day, children ages 3-5 are watching 4.5 hours a day, and elementary aged kids are watching 6.5 hours a day (Christakis, D., 2007)
* Elementary aged kids are using a combination of technologies (TV, cell phone, internet, video games, ipod) for an average of 8 hours a day (Kaiser Foundation Report, 2010)
* Over 60% of children report their parents do not restrict their access to technology; 75% of these children have TV’s in their bedrooms (Kaiser Foundation Report, 2010).
* For every 1 hour of TV watched each day between the ages of 0 and 7, the risk of attention problems by the age of 7 increases by 10% (Christakis, D., 2004)
* A large body of research over the past 3 decades has linked the content and hours of technology use to the following: obesity, attention deficit disorders, drug and alcohol use, sexual behavior, and low academic achievement (Nunez-Smith M 2004, Zimmerman F 2007, Hancox R 2005, Murray J 2006), as well as violent behaviors, developmental delays, and attachment disorders
* 30 % of children entering kindergarten are developmentally delayed (Petersen, 2006)
* The incidence of obesity in children is on the rise and as of 2001 5% of boys ages and 10.8% of girls age 2-5 were considered obese (Harvey-Berino J 2001); the percentage today has most likely increased
* "These environmental changes are faster than human being’s ability to adapt and evolve. Children who immerse themselves in virtual reality may exhibit signs of sensory deprivation, as they become disconnected from the world of physical play and meaningful interactions" (Tannock M 2008).

What children need for development:
•The most critical factors for optimal child development are movement, touch and connection to other humans (Insel R 2001, Korkman M 2001)
* Children need 3-4 hours per day of active play and movement to achieve enough stimulation to the vestibular, proprioceptive and tactile sensory systems (National Association for Sport and Physical Education 2002) in order to develop their posture, bilateral coordination and optimal arousal states necessary for handwriting and reading literacy (Schaff R 2007, Braswell J 2006, Rine R, 2004)
* The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of 2 should not watch any TV and that all children over the age of 2 should be limited to no more than 1-2 hours of TV a day (Children, adolescents and television. Committee on Public Education, AAP 2001)

These statistics are from the Zone'In wbesite and I recommend that you look at the Fact Sheet page for more shocking facts on how overly-obsessed our children (and parents) have become with technology and entertainment and the impact that it's having on the development of our children's intelligence, literacy, motor skills, social skills, behavior, emotion/psychological healtth and physical health.

After reading those facts, you might be starting to worry that your children are watching too much TV or playing too many video games. Listen, it can happen to parents with the best of intentions. I'm an occupational therapist, therefore specializing in child development, and I should have known better, but TV managed to become a habit in our household and I had never really intended it to. After the birth of my son, my daughter (who was 18 months at the time) was introduced to TV and in a span of a few months went from watching an occasional PBS show to probably watching 1-2 hours of TV a day. By the age of 2 she was obsessed and was constantly asking for the TV at home and in the car. That's when I realized what a problem I had on my hands. My issue is that I was juggling a toddler and a new baby with working part time and all the other household duties.  I'm no different from any other mom - my struggles are not unique - and my fix in a situation where I needed to have my child entertained so that I could get something done was to turn the TV on for a little while; something, I know, that many other moms do. But after listening to a webinar by, occupational therapist, Cris Rowan (Zone'In Inc) on The Impact of Technology on the Developing Child, I recognized the terrible path of technology over-dependence my family was starting to go down and I became instantly invested in this topic both for the sake of my family and the families that I serve in my OT practice.

After already having cut back on TV when my toddler became a TV-fiend, I then cut out the TV altogether after listening to the Webinar. My son had just turned 1 and he didn't need to have it on around him anyway. For the first few days after the switch to no TV my 2 1/2 year old daughter begged for her shows constantly. Every time we were in the car she whined to watch something and every time I heard her desperate requests I calmly reminded her that we didn't watch TV anymore and she could earn it as part of her good behavior incentives (along with books and games). I would also follow up with a quick explanation of why we weren't watching TV (i.e. it wasn't good for our brains) and would offer her an alternative activity. If we were in the car I kept books and travel games handy as well as books on CD. But here's the best part..... after a few days she stopped asking for TV! She stopped telling me she was bored and she started playing with her toys independently, reading her books, playing with her brother, and asking to go outside. She's always been a creative child, but I really saw her creativity expand once we turned the TV off for good.  She can turn any object (toy or non-toy) into something to play with now all on her own. I feel good knowing that she is happily engaging in activities that are good for her development and not craving TV anymore.

Now, in our house TV is something to be earned on special occasions; my daughter watches about 1 show (or children's movie) a week, sometimes none. My 1 year old son does not watch any TV. My husband and I have made the decision to keep limiting the TV in this way, even though our daughter is of the age when the AAP says it is ok for her to watch an hour of TV a day. We feel that it's much better for her if she doesn't. When she's not watching TV she's using her brain and body to do other things and interacting with the rest of the family more and that's what we like to see. Plus, when she knows that TV is only a reward and for special occasions, she doesn't ask for it and I don't have to constantly deal with the negative behavior backlash that always occur with turning the TV off. This is a choice that I'm sure we'll stick with for a while and implement with our son when he gets older. It has also affected us in a positive way by naturally decreasing the amount of TV that my husband and I watch. In fact, we even downgraded our rediculous cable package and save about $50 a month now.

As adults and unresitricted TV watchers, we don't usually stop and think about the effect the TV or video games are having on our children's developing minds and bodies and therefore, may not think it is harmful. Or, we do know, but keep telling ourselves, "I just have to get through this busy day or busy week and then we'll cut back on TV/video games/computer when school starts" (or insert any number of justifications for continuing to watch TV). The problem is, that time never comes because we keep thinking of new reasons why it's too hard to make such a big transition in our lives. We know our kids will fight this change and it's hard to muster up the energy to deal with that, knowing that on the other end WE'RE going to be the ones to have to entertain the kids now. But guess what, it's only hard in the beginning and your kids will be SO MUCH better off because you restrict their TV, video game, and computer use!

When these forms of technology are no longer passively entertaining them, kids have to use their brains, their bodies, their social skills, their imagination. Here's what happens when kids aren't watching TV: they get creative; they learn new things through exploration and discovery (therefore, making them smarter); their reading comprehension improves; their athletic ability improves as they engage in physical activities more; their interests in new activities and topics expands to make them more well rounded and iteresting people; their social skills improve as they play more with other kids, which in turn makes them more successful with making friends and interacting with peers; the list goes on and on. The possibilities are limitless to what children can do when they get involved with activities that use their mind and bodies.
What happens when children watch TV: their brains shut down as they are passively entertained; they are not interacting with anything or anyone as they sit and watch TV; there are no opportunities to be creative, explore, discover, or use analytical thinking; their weight and body mass index are increasing as they eat while they sit and watch TV, thus contributing to obesity; their motor skills do not have a chance to improve; they are fine tuning their brains to use only certain parts when they spend so many hours playing video or computer games or watch TV -which means other important areas of the brain do not get the chance to develop and in neuroscience there is a saying about the brain, "Use It or Lose It!"

Bottom line: Everything in moderation - limit your children's use of technology as entertainment and replace most of that time with activities that get them moving and thinking. TV, video games, and the computer should be treated as a reward, much like sweets. They are not necessary activities for children and adolescents to grow and develop. In fact, there is a large amount of research out there linking time spent watching TV, video gaming, internet surfing, and using other forms of technology to a number of negative childhood problems that can have lasting effects.  Research has not found that this type of technology benefits children in any way - in fact, Disney has even recalled all of their Baby Einstein DVDs and France has banned the broadcasting of all TV shows aimed at kids under 3.

Parents should take an active role in controlling and limiting their children's exposure to these technologies and encourage more developmentally appropriate activities instead.  TV is not going to teach your child to talk, to engage socially, to move, to read, to think critically. Video games and the computer will not teach your child to be compassionate, athletic, explore and discover, and much as some might think, playing video games will not improve overall fine motor skills. It is the job of parents to take the time to engage with their children, teach them these things, and create opportunities for children to learn and experience more. Being a parent is a huge responsibility and an amazing gift, but we only get one chance to mold and shape our children into the best people they can possibly be. Children only get one childhood and it is our job to make it a wonderful experience for them. The best way to do this is to limit the technology and play with your kids, read to them, cook with them, take them places...... turn every day, ordinary moments into wonderful teaching opportunities and chances to grow closer as a family. You will never regret taking the time to do these things, but in the future you may regret not doing it.

For tips on cutting out TV and activities to do instead, read the next post: Simple Steps for Turning the TV Off (and what to do instead).