Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool

Several months ago I asked Simple Homeschool readers to tell me their main homeschooling concern. I received hundreds of replies, but was stunned to find that over 75% of them were more or less the same:

• “I just wish I knew I was doing enough.” 
• “I feel like I’m not doing enough.”
• “How do I know if I’m doing enough?”

Prefer to listen instead?

All of us have different families and different children, but the same insecurities. I know, because they sometimes keep me up at night, too.

And so I thought that at the beginning of a new homeschool year, we should take a peek at this word, how it haunts us, and what we can do to break free.

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

How to Know If You’re Doing Enough

1. Enough has a set point.

Think about the other area in which we use this word: MONEY. Most people never feel as though they have quite enough of this commodity. Whatever our income, we tend to hope for just a bit more.

But studies have found that increased money only leads to increased happiness up to a threshold of around $75,000 (basic needs/desires met). Beyond that, MORE cash does not equal MORE joy. What does this teach us?

Enough has a set point. If you’re below it, you feel the lack. However, if you just continue to add more (whether money or, in our case, tasks/assignments) it doesn’t do much for you. It’s this magical set point we’re after for our homeschool.

2. An external solution can never fix an internal problem.

Remember this the next time you have planners or spreadsheets open on your desk. The perfect schedule will never be enough if you don’t believe that you already are.

No magic checklist will ever make us feel more worthy. Our homeschool plans and achievements don’t define us or determine our value.

3. The system has the same issues.

A dear friend of mine teaches in our local public schools. One day I asked her, “Do you ever feel like you’re not doing enough?”

“All the time, yes!” she replied. She went on to say that if there’s a child who is struggling in some way, she does her best but always wonders if she could have done more.

Teachers who care, whether at home or school, wrestle with this. I find that a comfort.

Also remember that the system isn’t some efficient machine that runs nonstop from 9am-3pm each day. I was recently reminded of this when my niece came home from her first day of 11th grade. Looking through her paperwork, I came to her AP Psychology syllabus. It explained what they’d be learning, and on the back? Was a list of over a dozen movies they’d be watching, in class, as part of their curriculum. 

You guys? This is High School AP Psychology! A dozen movies, in one semester, including Groundhog Day and What About Bob! And here you were berating yourself for watching that history documentary this week.

My point isn’t to heckle, but to point out that we often hold ourselves to a crazy ideal of productivity that doesn’t exist anywhere.

4. ENOUGH on a practical level.

Instead of trying to duplicate a struggling system, let’s capitalize on the huge advantage we have that schools never can: HOME.

Don’t turn yours into an institution! Just set “enough” based on what your unique kids need in this unique moment – whatever their age. If you feel fairly confident that you’ll be homeschooling long-term or for several years, release those artificially-made grade levels and live outside the box. You’re free! Embrace whatever methods suit you and yours.

If there’s a chance you might need to put your kids back into school, however, then use slow and steady, incremental progress to ease your “enough” fears.

To do so, just incorporate a tiny bit of the 3R’s (reading instruction, writing, & arithmetic) into your homeschool days.

Here’s one way this could look in the early years: Order a Brain Quest workbook for your child’s current level. Have them do one language arts page, one handwriting page, and one math page each homeschool day. These workbooks have around 300 pages, which means that in 100 days you’ll have finished. So do two a day, MWF, or skip bad days!

If your child can read and write already, ask them when they want to do their pages. Independently upon waking? With you at the table? My kids like it when I rip pages out of a workbook—that way they are not seeing ALL the empty ones still to come. They see a few and think: “Oh, I can do this.”

After everyone’s pages are done for the day, celebrate with hot chocolate, a high five, the bean jar, a video everyone likes, etc. Do not turn this into a dreaded chore (if it becomes one, make a change). And do not worry about this “reward” spoiling them. 

I used to give my kids a cookie each time they used the toilet, but guess what? They never ask for one now! All you’re doing is setting a positive habit, and quelling those fears/voices that scream at you, asking if you’re doing enough.

I’m not saying to do the above and ignore your kids for the rest of the day. I’m suggesting you do a bare minimum, then fill the rest of your day with the power of home:

Read-alouds and discussions, cozy blankets, baking and cooking, dealing with squabbles (this is real life, after all), chores, Lego villages, documentaries and educational videos, board games, copywork, snap circuits, ice cream and audiobooks, passion-driven classes and co-ops, online learning and fun apps – whatever helps you and yours love learning and each other.

Welcome to enough. Welcome to life. WELCOME HOME.

Do your best to enjoy yours! And let your kids enjoy theirs, too. 

What have you learned about “enough” during your years of homeschooling?

Interest-Led Learning When Your Child Only Likes Video Games ~
Written by Shawna Wingert of Different by Design Learning

I was on the phone with another homeschooling mom last week.

She was trying to work through how to best teach her twelve-year-old son without the resistance that was a daily struggle last year. “Have you tried an interest-led approach to learning?” I gently asked.

Frustrated and discouraged, she replied, “How can I take an interest-led approach when his only interest is video games?”

I understand her concern.

We tend to view video games as a sort of enemy of education and learning, especially in the homeschool community. I used to feel the same way.

But over the course of the past few years, as my boys have matured into teens and I have had to find new ways to connect with them, I have come to see video games not as a threat, but a tool that we can use to help our kids learn.

Interest-Led Learning When Your Child Only Likes Video Games

The more I have learned about my sons’ interest in gaming, the more convinced I have become that we are missing real edcuational opportunities with our kids.  Here’s why –

Not All Games Are Created Equal

I think the fear is that our children will be locked up inside a dark room all day playing violent, degrading games. While some of those types of games exist, there are many more that actually provide very real educational learning opportunities for our children.

For example, Minecraft has been a mainstay in our homeschool since I learned that signs can be created throughout the game. We use these signs to practice sight words with my struggling reader.

Another example in our home is Battlefield One. In this war game, my son has learned more about WWI than any textbook was ever able to teach him.

Video Games Provide Opportunities To connect With Our Children On Their Level

Just as our kids love to show us their latest art project or trick on the skateboard, they also enjoy showing us their skills in a virtual world. Knowing what they are playing, asking why they enjoy it, and providing positive reinforcement creates an environment of mutual respect. This respect is the foundation of interest-led learning.

We respect our kids’ interests and allow them to drive our approach to their education. Video games can absolutely be as valuable in interest-led learning as my youngest son’s interest in animals. We just have to take the time to learn about them, with our child as the guide.

Video Games Can Help Lead To Strength Based Learning

I have shared before how passionate I am about using our children’s strengths to drive their learning.

What has surprised me is how video games have actually revealed some of my boys’ natural gifts and strengths. For example, my youngest is a wizard at three dimensional thinking and building. It serves him well in video games, but I am also learning ways to incorporate this strength into our learning away from the screen.

The relationship between interests and strengths is quite significant. In fact, the combination of the two is what allows me to create strength based learning plans for my sons and for other families.

I have created a worksheet to help parents get started with this type of approach. It is available for free to Simple Homeschool readers HERE.

How To Use Video Games In Interest Led Learning

I want to leave you with some practical examples of how to incorporate video games into your homeschool.

Get Involved

My first recommendation is to participate in as much conversation and game play as possible. I don’t ever actually play games, but I do sit with my boys while they play. I ask them why they enjoy it and have them show me all their skills.

Use As A Starting point For Lessons

Last week, my son mentioned Russia was a location in the game he was playing. We got the map out and found it. We did a google search together to learn more about it. And then, we went back to the game and compared what we learned to what we saw on the screen. Was it an accurate depiction? Why not?

Another example in our homeschool is how we use mobile games. There is a Harry Potter mobile game that my son loves to play. He wanders the neighborhood, looking for magical creatures in the game. He gets a little exercise and fresh air and then we come home and practice reading aloud using the Harry Potter book series.

Use As A Check For Understanding

Some of the more creative video games, like Minecraft, easily serve as a kind of quiz to see how your child is retaining the information he’s learning. For example, my son created a Medieval Village in Minecraft to reflect what he had learned as part of our Medieval History unit study. It worked beautifully, almost like an online version of our old shoe box dioramas.

Overall, I have found video games to be a very useful part of our learning. The more I learn about the games my children play, the easier it is to find ways to incorporate this interest into our homeschool.

* Find more of Shawna’s inspiring posts on Simple Homeschool!

Do your kids play video games? Have you used them as part of your homeschool?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your type needs most!

Written by Jamie C. Martin, editor of Simple Homeschool

“There, there, Marilla, you can have your own way,” said Matthew reassuringly. “Only be as good and kind to her as you can without spoiling her. I kind of think she’s one of the sort you can do anything with if you only get her to love you.”

As a 12-year-old I spent hours under the influence of a red-headed orphan. We had plenty of exciting adventures together, and she taught me plenty of lessons. Basically she changed me. And perhaps Anne (with an “e,” of course) planted seeds in my life that later grew into a pretty full harvest–seeds of adoption, of love for books, of writing, and of being an unapologetic starry-eyed dreamer.

I owe a lot to her.

Would you rather listen to this post?

I read the entire Anne of Green Gables series a few times as a teen and young adult. I also read pretty much anything else I could get my hands on by L.M. Montgomery. Her writing spoke to me.

Years later as a newly married woman, I found my life profoundly impacted when I read all five volumes of L.M. Montgomery’s journals. (If you are a serious Anne fan, you must read these!)

Once again, this author’s words altered my life. This time it wasn’t quite so starry-eyed, however. These were grown-up entries of joy mixed with deep sorrow, happiness side-by-side with heartbreak. I wasn’t sure I could ever look at Anne in the same light again.

But it turned out Anne had a few more lessons up her (puffed) sleeves for me.

Photo by Sullivan Movies

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive–it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

I once read that when you read a book, especially a classic that has impacted others for generations, you should go to it with a question – a specific question in mind relating to your life.

As I read Anne of Green Gables, this time as a parent of three, I asked myself: What can I learn about parenting from this book? And the surprising answer is something I’ve tried to implement ever since:

Loosen up and let maturity do its work.

Photo by Sullivan Movies

As a tween and early teen, Anne is constantly getting into mischief of some sort: making up lies (“stories”), dying her hair green, falling off the ridgepole of a roof, accidentally getting her best friend drunk…to name a few.

Have any constantly mischievous children of your own?

Anne has a fierce temper as well, which shows itself in full fury when she breaks her slate over Gilbert’s head after he teases her about her red hair. Though he apologizes, Anne also has a tendency to hold a grudge:

“Gilbert took from his desk a little pink candy heart with a gold motto on it, “You are sweet,” and slipped it under the curve of Anne’s arm. Whereupon Anne arose, took the pink heart gingerly between the tips of her fingers, dropped it on the floor, ground it to powder beneath her heel, and resumed her position without deigning to bestow a glance on Gilbert.”

Tense and stern Marilla, who (with her brother Matthew) adopts Anne, gradually softens in spite of Anne’s behavior. In the incident with the broken slate, she allows Anne to stay home from school (i.e. homeschool!) until she decides she wants to go back:

“Marilla took Mrs. Rachel’s advice and not another word was said to Anne about going back to school. She learned her lessons at home, did her chores and played with Diana in the chilly purple autumn twilights…”

In spite of Anne’s mischief and misbehavior, there was genius inside: imagination, creativity, intelligence, character. It just needed a little more time to find its way to expression.

At the right season, it blossomed into brilliance.

Photo by Tourism PEI

Considering Anne’s maturing process brought to mind another quote I read recently in Unschooling Rules: 55 Ways to Unlearn What We Know About School and Rediscover Education:

“The truth here is that maturation is magic. Irrational teenagers do become rational. Calmness and focus return. All of childhood is filled with times of equilibrium and disequilibrium.

Children’s bodies do each have their own clock. Each clock just may not match the expectations of the structures around the children.”
~ Chapter 40, Maturing solves a lot of problems

Has homeschooling made you a little too tense–a little too stern? What would it mean if you allowed maturity to do its work?

Maybe if we trusted the process, we could relax a little bit more, laugh a little in the midst of the mischief, and allow ourselves to enjoy the journey.

“… a little “appreciation” sometimes does quite as much good as all the conscientious “bringing up” in the world.”

Do you need to loosen up? Do you have a story to share about watching maturity do its work? Any other Anne fans out there?

Written by Kris Bales of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers.

A few years ago, it was very popular for mom bloggers to write about being the “yes mom.” There were blog posts, Facebook status updates, and Instagram photos capturing those yes mom moments.

I know because I wrote and snapped many of them myself.

Maybe it’s still a thing; I don’t know. In case it isn’t, the gist of it was don’t tell your kids no when you could just as easily say yes.

Yes, we can have ice cream before dinner tonight. Yes, you can jump in the mud puddle. Yes, we can play a board game.

It was a fabulous concept – one whose implementation resulted in some amazing memories with my kids.

However, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to say no, too.

Moms are especially guilty of trying to say yes to all the things, resulting in exhausted, overwhelmed, burned-out women. We’re not just moms. We’re human, too.

We need rest, hobbies, downtime, and white space. If you happen to be an introvert on top of being a mom and a homeschooling parent, you really need that downtime and white space.

So, moms (and dads), it’s okay to say no.

It’s okay to say no to volunteering.

There is a lot of talk in homeschooling circles about volunteer opportunities. Volunteering can be a phenomenal opportunity to give back to your community and teach your children the joys of serving others.

It can also be exhausting and overwhelming when the opportunities aren’t chosen judiciously. And, the opportunities can be countless when the people offering them assume that you have an abundance of free time because you’re home all day.

When my kids were babies, I worked in the church nursery on Sunday mornings because, other than the one older lady who was there every week, no one except the moms with babies volunteered for nursery duties. Back then I would have loved for someone to snuggle my babies while I recharged for an hour.

Later, it was assumed that because I homeschooled, I would also be the perfect fit to lead children’s church on Sunday mornings. Y’all, after teaching my kids all week, I really had no desire to teach others on Sunday morning, but I didn’t know how to say no back then.

These days, I’ve learned to graciously, but firmly say no to serving in areas that are stress-inducing for me.

(And, now that my kids are grown, I regularly serve in the church nursery because I know those moms of littles appreciate being able to go to church and know that their babies are safe and well-cared-for.)

It’s okay to say no to co-op.

We homeschooled for over 14 years. My kids have never attended an organized co-op. We did have an informal nature study co-op with one family for a few months when the kids were younger, and we’re currently doing a government co-op with two other teens.

But we’ve never done an honest-to-goodness, organized co-op. A friend invited us to join hers the first year we homeschooled, but I declined, saying that I wanted to just spend the first year at home, finding our footing.

We talked about other co-ops a time or two, but none of the kids were ever interested. They seem pretty well-adjusted despite our co-op-less existence.

If joining a co-op meets your family’s needs for social opportunities, learning in a group setting, or tackling academic or elective courses that aren’t feasible at home, go for it! But, don’t join a co-op based on outside pressures or unfounded guilt over something you think your kids are missing.

In my opinion, kids are much better off at home with a stress-free mom than a traveling to a guilt-induced co-op class with a stressed-out, overextended one.

It’s okay to say no to fun outings.

Last Saturday, my daughter asked if I’d take her shopping so she could spend her birthday money. Without the slightest twinge of guilt anywhere in my psyche, I told her no.

You see, Wednesday was spent chauffeuring her to the DMV to take the test to get her learner’s permit (She passed!), running an errand for her older sister, dropping her off for her photography class, picking her up from the class, and running through a drive-thru to get her some food before dropping her off at church for worship team practice.

Thursday was spent accompanying my oldest to a doctor’s appointment (that, incidentally, took forever) before coming home to clean house and make cookies for the birthday party that we hosted that evening. In between the cleaning/baking and birthday party hosting, was a trip to a local indoor trampoline park for birthday party fun.

Just for kicks, we also got to sit in stand-still traffic on the way that made us and the majority of the party-goers half an hour late.

Friday was spent grocery shopping and running home to put the groceries away before rushing off to get the kids to our government not-a-co-op. From there, we ran a forgotten item to one of the previous day’s party-goers on the way to take the kids to another birthday party.

(My daughter and her BFF share a birthday, but they have separate parties.)

There were even a couple of my own errands to be run after dropping the kids off.

So, you know what? I didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about telling my daughter that nothing short of a disaster could convince me to leave the house on Saturday.

(In case you wondered, there were no disasters, and I didn’t leave the house.)

I could give dozens of examples of situations in which it’s okay to say no, but I bet you get the point.

You don’t have to do all of the things. It’s great to be a yes mom, but not to the point that it leaves you stressed-out, burned-out, and unable to care for yourself and your family.

Being a yes mom to saying no – as in, “Yes, I said no to that obligation” – can lead to memory-making family moments, too. Because you can’t make memories when you’re spending all your time doing all the things.

It’s okay to say no.

Is there something you need to say no to this week?

How to Homeschool a Kid Who Hates to Write ~
Written by Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy

For whatever reason, some kids hate to write.

I don’t mean they dislike it, or they’d rather not today, thank you. No, I’m talking about those kids for whom writing “The cat sat on the mat,” requires the physical effort and mental stamina of climbing Pike’s Peak (but probably with a lot more fussing, whining, crying and arguing).

These kids aren’t faking: writing is genuinely difficult for them. (Especially when they’re young, and especially for boys.)

Your challenge as a teacher, a parent, and an academic coach is to keep their disdain for handwriting from turning into a hatred of school, which happens all too often because the thing they hate most (handwriting) permeates every subject.

Thankfully, most writing haters get over it–without intervention–by 4th or 5th grade.

But until then, these tips will help you — and your child — cope.

9 Tips: How to Homeschool a Kid who Hates to Write

1. As far as you can, eliminate the writing in every subject but writing. 

The goal is simply to master the material.

2. Do the work out loud.

Instead of written worksheets, try oral drills for math facts, phonics, translations, fill-in-the-blanks, paragraph summaries, etc. Or, do the worksheet but do it out loud.

3. Use stickers.

If your child is completing a worksheet, try writing the answers on small stickers in advance. Your student can then place the correct sticker in the appropriate spot for his answer. (This has the advantage of feeling like a game.)

4. Make it a matching game.

With a little advance work on your part, your child can match up Spanish nouns with their meanings, coins with their names, states with their capitals, dates with historical facts, and anything else you can think of.

5. Play “secretary” for your student.

They dictate, you record. This lets your creative child get their stories, summaries, or science observations out of their head and onto paper.

6. Get creative with spelling word practice.

To practice “writing” spelling words, let your child “spell” the words with his finger in a shallow container of rice, sand, beans, or water. No paper or pencil required.

7. Consider starting typing early.

We started our pencil-hating kids on a typing program at age seven (at their request!), but kids as young as five can begin typing lessons.

8. When your kid must write, equip them with coping strategies to help them handle it better, or let them find their own.

My writing-haters self-soothed by swinging, spinning and sprinting down the driveway, preferably before and after handwriting time.

9. Make the writing easier:

• Switch to markers or smoothly gliding pens.
• Ditch the paper for a dry erase board.

These tips and tricks require a little extra work on your part to implement.

But if your writing hater still loves school (well, except for handwriting class) I hope you’ll agree with me: it’s worth it.

Do you have (or have you had) a student who hates to write? We need your tips, tricks and coping strategies!

Homeschooling with Trauma: My Story ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool

Five years ago my inner world began to collapse, and it felt like my outer world might too. It started so innocently. During COVID, when all of our worlds were toppling, my husband decided to start therapy.

When he told me this, it was as much of a surprise as if he had said, “I’ve decided to get plastic surgery.”

In other words, a wildly out-of-the-blue move for my British “Keep calm and carry on” husband. I had never done therapy either, but after six months of observing his process, I decided to try it too.

“Maybe therapy will help me navigate the stress of homeschooling and raising three teens?” I thought.

I had no idea it would first shatter, then painfully rebuild, my entire life and worldview.

Looking back, I can almost laugh at my naivety. Almost, but not quite.

Early on my therapist asked me to share one of my earliest memories. I shared what, to me, had always been a typical and slightly humorous story.

After listening she said, “This is curious and unusual. It’s not the way a typical preschooler would think or behave. It points to something deeper that you may want to explore with a trauma specialist.”

Homeschooling with Trauma: My Story

During the same season in my Introverted Moms book club community, I’d chosen The Powerful Purpose of Introverts by Holley Gerth for us to read and discuss. She had a section in one chapter about “high functioning depression,” a term I’d never heard before.

When I read the characteristics, it floored me to resonate with the majority.

But I couldn’t be depressed! I got out of bed every morning, I homeschooled three kids (two with special needs), I wrote books and blogs and led an online community of women! Sure, sometimes I experienced deep lows in which my entire body ached, I couldn’t sleep, I felt unworthy of existence and like death on the inside, but I held my sh** together!

God, in grace and kindness, brought a truth to the surface that refused to remain buried any longer.

The past five years have been a grief-filled arc of death and resurrection. Of course when you’re in the midst of death, you never know if resurrection awaits.

All the inner parts of myself that had protected me for so long deserved to have their voices and pain finally heard. I thought this phase would never end. It’s impossible to honor those years in a few sentences.

And through it all, I continued my final years of homeschooling, continued writing and leading a team of contributors here at Simple Homeschool and sharing heartfelt content with my online community of introverted moms. But it came at a cost.

At the end of one year I told a friend, “It feels like everything I’ve created this year has wounded me.”

One of my most painful steps of obedience included pausing a book idea. I sobbed through the Zoom call with my agent (ugly cry, ya’ll.) It felt like everything important to me, all I thought I knew, was falling to pieces. Because it was.

I’ve built my online platform around emotional authenticity, so a part of me deeply wanted to share in more detail. But I had no idea how to start.

“Hi I’m Jamie. I may be having a nervous breakdown?”

I had plenty of words; I never would have survived if it hadn’t been for my journals. Yet for the first time in a long time those words were just for me.

I had to rewrite my life story – the most important story I’ve ever written, even if only I ever read it.

When I thought I couldn’t take any more, I glimpsed the tiniest sliver of light underneath a closed and locked door. Very, very slowly, the door began to open.

As I finally processed and cleared away repressed negative emotions, I began to know myself anew. My transformation started on the inside and spread all the way out; I often hear how different I look from those who have known me a long time.

I shine and sparkle with an inner confidence that I thought only others could feel.

To be clear, my pain hasn’t completely vanished. But now I know what it is and why I carry it. I know it isn’t my fault, isn’t anyone’s fault. I know that I am finally safe.

I can feel sad without being swallowed by sadness – can teach my kids how to deal with big emotions because I’ve learned how myself. They aren’t a terrifying threat anymore.

Five years after resonating with Holley Gerth’s characteristics of high functioning depression, I returned to her checklist to discover that I now resonate with zero of them. Zero!

On the eve of my 50th birthday, I wanted to mark my transformation in a concrete way. So I did:

It’s still a challenge to put all this into words. But I had to start somewhere, and it couldn’t be with a post called “5 ways to survive homeschooling with trauma.” No bite-sized bullet points can sum up this process!

This is my story to tell, and I’ve waited to tell it. I want to honor it, and it’s finally time to share.

May it offer a glimmer of hope to those of you in the midst of dark inner or outer circumstances that also feel impossible for words.

Those in the grief and death phase, without any promise of life or resurrection yet.

You’re out there, showing up, attempting to make it through another day. Homeschooling with trauma in the midst of it all.

The only thing you feel sure of is that you’re constantly coming up short.

But when treading water is all you can do, it isn’t failure. It’s courage. It’s survival.

I see you, and I know how much strength it takes just to stay afloat. xo

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

5 (surprising) things you need to know about homeschooling high school ~
Written by Shawna Wingert of Different by Design Learning

For seven years now, I have been sharing our homeschool journey here on Simple Homeschool.

My oldest was eleven at the time. My youngest was eight.

It’s been a wonderful, crazy, joyful, stressful, sometimes devastating, sometimes rewarding, always worthwhile seven years.

Today, I find myself helping one child graduate high school, and the other prepare to begin it. My oldest only has six weeks left in his educational journey with me. My youngest has six weeks plus the next four high school years.

Prefer to listen instead?

I think because my oldest is preparing for life after high school homeschool, I find myself reflecting on what I know now about the high school years (that I never would’ve thought possible back when we started).

The truth is, most of the past four years feel like blur. They went by so much faster than his younger years homeschooling. They went by faster, but they were also, frankly, so much more fun.

Our days have became equally interesting for all of us. Because they are older, their interests more closely resemble my own. Our discussions about current events, history, and art are far more engaging than I thought possible.

It’s hard to think about it coming to an end, at least with one of them.

With this in mind, I wanted to share the things I wish I’d known about homeschooling high school before we were actually homeschooling high school. If I could go back in time to the mom I was seven years ago, this is what I would tell her.

5 Things You Need To Know About Homeschooling High School

1. Homeschooling High School Doesn’t Have To Be Totally Different From The Younger Years.

When we were preparing for my oldest to begin his freshman year, I thought it would be totally different.

I mean, this is high school right? Doesn’t it need to be more rigorous and less, well, fun?

Turns out, my son’s high school years looked a lot like every other year: interest-led, hands-on, project based learning.

At the end of his senior year, I can honestly say that it worked. We had already figured out how he learns best. I am so glad we didn’t change that to fit some idea of how high school is supposed to be!

2. Don’t Be Afraid Of High School Transcripts and Course Credits.

I was terrified of the transcript at first. It felt formal and threatening.

Turns out, it wasn’t really that hard. In fact, after I figured out how I wanted to do it, I actually looked forward to completing his transcript each semester. It felt like an observable measure of progress (something that can be really hard to come by as a homeschool mom!).

This post by Kara, really helped me relax about my son’s transcript.

3. Your Role Will Change Over The Four Years (and that’s OK).

I was a little taken aback by how quickly my role began to change as my son progressed through the high school years.

I went from being the one in charge of all of things to the one who needs to buy all the things and drive him to all the things. It was a little disconcerting at first, but it was exactly what needed to happen. My son developed a sense of engagement in his learning and independence that we had never seen before.

It’s worth being the accountant and the driver, instead of the teacher sometimes.

4. Your Child Will Have More Opinions (and that’s OK).

Of course it’s okay, right?

I know this to be true in my heart, but I can tell you that when my son had a very strong opinion about applying to four year colleges (he wanted to, I thought it was not a great fit for him) – I missed the years of him pretty much learning the way I thought he should learn.

Homeschooling high school is also just parenting a high schooler. It includes letting go when it’s time (cue tears).

5. The Memories Are Irreplaceable.

Oh my goodness, this one also makes me tear up a little, but it’s true.

The memories we have created together, especially as my son has become more and more of an adult, are precious to me in a way that is quite different from the younger years.

I am not sure I can put it all into words, but this is what I know – these high school years are when homeschooling and being with my kids all the time really started to get good.

I wouldn’t trade the memories we’ve made these past four years for anything.

There is so much more I could share.

I could tell you how impressed I was with my son’s college essays. I could tell you how worried I am about the giant step he is taking in heading off to college in the fall.

But I won’t. What I want to tell you is this – homeschooling high school has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and I am so grateful to be able to do it all over again with my youngest.

Maybe check back in four years. I will let you know how it goes.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

A few weeks ago an issue with one of my children kept me up late into the night. You know, one of those little things that you can’t quite figure out.

After pondering, praying, and a bit of crying, I eventually reached out to a friend and homeschooling mentor.

In just a sentence or two I outlined the problem and asked if she had any advice. And in one sentence she solved it for me:

“What’s your child’s love language?” 

Hmmmm. Love languages? I had that filed back in my brain somewhere as it relates to marriage, but I had never paid it much attention when it comes to my children.

Would you rather listen to this post?

And after some research into my child’s love language and a little attention in that area, this so-called “issue” pretty much vanished. Vanished, I tell you!

So what is a love language and how can I determine my child’s?

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell articulated the five love languages years ago. They write: “Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles.”

We want to express unconditional love in each of these ways, of course.

But just like each child has a different personality, they also have a unique love language. Figuring it out can make a huge difference in the health of your homeschool.

I found this online quiz (recommended for ages 9+) invaluable to figuring out my kids’ love language preference–Trishna, Jonathan, and Elijah enjoyed it, too!

Here is an overview of the 5 love languages of children and ways we can apply them to our homeschool lives.

The 5 love languages of homeschooling

Physical Touch

A child who best receives love through physical touch desperately needs hugs, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. Not having enough can leave them feeling that they’ve done something wrong and that you are not pleased with them.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• let them sit on your lap for lessons or stories
• give them a back massage break for five minutes if they reach a challenge in their work
• for older kids or teens, give high fives and pats on the shoulder
• make sure to reconnect with physical touch after disciplining or difficult moments
• sit close while watching television or a movie
• roughhouse (tickles, wrestling, chasing) with littles who enjoy it

Words of Affirmation

Our culture has lost the art of giving affirmation. Words spoken well do not damage our kids, but fill them with confidence.

They powerfully communicate love, and even more so to a child (or adult) whose main love language is words of affirmation. (Hand raised here–it’s mine!) 

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• take many opportunities throughout the day to encourage. “I love watching you work hard on your ….” or “I could see you being a great doctor” (or whatever career aspiration they’re into)
• leave a surprise note for a child to find under their pillow or in unexpected places (like when they open their math book)
• create a special loving phrase that is unique to you and this child
• in (or after) a difficult moment, share what you love about him or her
• speak out something positive about this child in front of others (spouse, neighbors, etc)

Receiving Gifts

Reading the chapter on gifts in The Five Love Languages for Children book gave me a broader concept behind the definition of a “gift.” It doesn’t mean shopping at the mall or spending tons of money. Instead, it suggested framing even the “essentials” I provide in a more special way.

For example, I usually buy new clothes for the kids in the fall. Instead of just bringing them out of the shopping bag when I got home, this year I placed each child’s new clothes inside a pillowcase and stuck a bow on the top with a quick note. Then I put the pillowcases in their rooms after they were asleep, so they woke in the morning to new clothes.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• pick up a rock, shell, or cool object from a nature walk–then place it in a surprising location for them to find with a note from you
• don’t just buy “homeschool supplies” – take a minute to wrap them up and present the gift in a fun way
• bring home a small treat once in a while when you’re out grocery shopping–something that shows you were thinking of your child
• make their favorite meal and let them know you did it to bless them
• involve your child in the purchases you need to make for them: “We need to buy you a pair of winter boots – let’s pick them out together!”

Quality Time

Two of my three children’s primary love language is quality time, meaning I have my work cut out for me in spreading myself around! I feel like I’m with my kids all the time as a homeschooling mother, but that doesn’t mean it comes across to my quality time needing kids.

If I’m busy or distracted, it doesn’t register in their emotional bank accounts. We don’t need to do anything special, but even making dinner together while chatting goes a long way to keeping those love tanks filled.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• make eye contact
• put away screens and other distractions when with them
• include them in your errands – this child will enjoy what other kids might find boring
• sit together and look at family photo albums
• don’t send them to work on all their assignments independently, even as they get older
• hang out without any agenda

Acts of Service

Acts of service doesn’t mean doing everything for a child and never having him take responsibility.

Instead it means recognizing that through your service this child receives your love. When you know this is a child’s main love language, you can put more effort in blessing them with the duties they struggle with most.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• don’t send your child off to work alone on their most difficult subject. Tackle it together.
• surprise your kid with a special breakfast on a regular weekday
• when your child is sick, show your love to them by the extra attention you offer
• try to respond quickly when this child asks for help
• every once in a while take over a child’s normal responsibilities (folding the laundry, cleaning his room, etc.)

Want to speak your child’s language?

This post barely scratches the surface on this topic, and if you’d like to go deeper make sure you check out The Five Love Languages of Children.

Reading this book showed me yet another reason why I’m thankful to be a homeschooling parent–the extra hours we spend together each day give me even more time to get to know my children deeply, and be able to demonstrate my unconditional love in the ways that speak volumes to them.

And an unexpected upside? By loving our children well, we also teach them how to love – a gift that keeps giving for generations.

“Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.”
~ Isabel Allende

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission from some of the links on this page.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

Instead of focusing on giving our children a complete education, or a perfect education (neither of which are necessary or possible), let us strive to awaken in them a love of learning. If we can help them to develop an attitude of lifelong learning, we will have done enough.” ~ Suzie Andres, Homeschooling with Gentleness

There’s a homeschooling mom who lives in my head, and she is simply THE best.

She does all the things and does them well. As a result, her kids progress in a straight, forward-moving line. She is organized, unfazed by emotion, doubt, outward circumstance, or moody children.

She is my hero, though I also despise her.

I am not that woman. Oh every once in a while, I come close. The stars align and the inspiration flows…for a few hours, maybe a day or two. But inevitably real life signals to me from the sidelines: “Remember me?!”, and here we go again…back into the realm of imperfections and inadequacies.

Yet incredibly, even then I’m still on track.

When real life comes along with tough times, it’s not THE best I give to my children, but it’s MY best all the same.

Are you crossing a field or climbing a wall?

Photo by Nicholas_T

My friend Lisa Grace Byrne once described this distinction in a way I could beautifully visualize. She explained that in certain seasons of life it’s like we’re walking through a flat, grassy field. We cover a lot of ground that way, making measurable progress one step at a time.

In other seasons, we reach the borders of the field to find a steep, rock wall towering before us. Turning back isn’t an option, and the only way to continue moving forward is to climb–one slow, shaky grip and foothold after another.

It’s still progress, of course, but it looks nothing like the grassy field.

The best we can offer our families in the meadows of life varies drastically to the best we bring when we’re scaling walls.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been climbing, and I know I’m not the only one.

Your personal best

Photo by Adam Kubalica

God hasn’t called us to be successful, just faithful.” ~ Mother Teresa

Your personal best looks different every day, every hour.

It looks different if you’re facing a chronic health condition or recently had a newborn, if you just started homeschooling and you’re still finding your way, if you have a child with special needs or a teen with an attitude, or if you’re dealing with the loss of someone you love.

We’re not called to give up when things get hard, but we do have to play the cards we’ve been dealt – whatever that looks like in our unique circumstances.

You know inside that what you’re offering really is the best you have to give, however inadequate it may seem. If it is, what else can you do? Why not fall into the arms of grace and rest?

What’s your other choice?

What to remember

When you worry about tomorrow, you are, in effect, saying that today is not worth enjoying. That is not a message I want to send to my children.”
~ Sally Clarkson, Seasons of a Mother’s Heart

In rock wall-climbing seasons, I return to my favorite homeschooling books. I look through where I’ve underlined or written “Wow” in the margins. I feast on truth instead of self-doubt. I’ve scattered a few of those quotes throughout this post, to pay the inspiration forward.

It also helps me to remember, in times like these, that all conscientious parents feel a weight of insecurity and responsibility – no matter where their kids go to school.

One time I wrote out my deepest fears for each of my kid’s educations. Then I wrote out what my fears would likely be if my children were in traditional school. I found it incredibly freeing to realize that doubts and fears would still exist, though the specifics might differ.

Take a moment to remind yourself of all that your personal best, as limited as it is, has already offered to your kids. What are you giving them by homeschooling or by being their parent, that they wouldn’t have without you? 

Perhaps you began homeschooling because of bullying, and now your son is safe from daily torments. Perhaps the classroom was overstimulating for your sensitive daughter, now she’s slowly returning to the happy child you remember.

It doesn’t have to be that dramatic, though. Your personal best also includes your natural strengths, the things you’re so good at you no longer count because they seem “normal.”

But normal for you isn’t normal for everyone – don’t disregard those gifts. Instead build your homeschool around them when you can, letting your best stamp personality across your home:

To become peaceful and happy, you’ve got to figure out what’s true about you. What creates an environment in which you can thrive? How can you work with your own innate strengths and weaknesses so that your homeschool will be happy and humming, even if you never construct a sugar cube pyramid or help your kids put together a single diorama?”
~ Sarah Mackenzie, Teaching from Rest

THE best homeschooling writer (who also lives in my head – it’s so crowded in there at times!!) would offer you these words in a few well-organized bullet points, complete with a lovely, colorful printable that she designed herself.

But MY personal best, today, is to send out these scribbles with a prayer for each person who reads them.

When we really consider it, isn’t that what we need most? Not an expert who knows it all, but someone to walk alongside us, to say “it is hard sometimes, you’re right.”

Someone to encourage us to keep right on climbing.

Come to think of it, isn’t that the type of teacher our kids need, too?

And if that’s the case, miraculously our broken best might just be THE best after all.

Then it dawned on me. It wasn’t the meager five loaves and two fish that fed the crowds, but their offering combined with the blessing of Jesus. And Jesus was telling me to give him my five loaves and two fish, my insignificant efforts, and he would bless them, and the needs of my family would be met.”
~ Holly Pierlot, A Mother’s Rule of Life

A Little House Virtual Field Trip ~

As I’ve written before, the Little House books have influenced my life since I first read them as a little girl. I’ve read the entire series several times and have always had a dream – a dream that this year is going to come true!

I’ve always wanted to walk where Laura walked, see where she lived, and be inspired as a family along the way. Well, this summer it’s happening!

In June we’ll be heading west as a family – not in a covered wagon, but a minivan – to the Little House sites in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and South Dakota on a massive road trip.

I’m beyond thrilled to have the opportunity to do this as a family, but then I thought – why not take you guys along with me?

Of course, you won’t all fit in the minivan, but why not put together a virtual field trip so you can take your kids to Laura’s homes from your dining room or coffee table?

Ready? Let’s go!

A Little House virtual field trip

Stop 1. Pepin, Wisconsin

Books written about this site: Little House in the Big Woods

Head to Little House in the Big Woods on Google Earth

Laura was born in the Big Woods in 1867, and she describes this first childhood home in Little House in the Big Woods. The Ingalls lived here twice, and the memories Laura shares in the book actually take place after they returned from the Kansas prairie.

If you look at the satellite view, you’ll see that only a few trees remain, but there’s a replica cabin located at the site and a picnic area to hang out in.

Take a tour of Little House, Pepin:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about Pepin:

• About the site – Wikipedia
• Read the highway marker at the site.
• More photos of Laura’s birthplace
• Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum, Pepin

Stop 2. Independence, Kansas

Books written about this site: Little House on the Prairie

Head to Little House on the Prairie on Google Earth

Laura’s family moved here in 1869 and settled on land belonging to the Osage Indians, having received word that the land would soon be available for settlers. After a year of persevering through hardships and dealing with tensions between the Native Americans and settlers, the Ingalls were forced to leave Kansas.

Today a replica cabin sits on the site, furnished the way Laura described in the book. Pa’s hand dug well stands nearby as well.

Take a tour of the Laura’s little house as it looks today:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about the Kansas site:

• Read the marker at this site.
• More photos of the site near Independence.
• Kansas travel – Little House

Stop 3. Walnut Grove, Minnesota

Books written about this site: On the Banks of Plum Creek

Head to Walnut Grove on Google Earth (scroll up a little to see the original dugout site)

After leaving Kansas and spending a few years back in Wisconsin, the Ingalls moved to Minnesota in 1874 and lived in a sod house for the winter. Pa eventually built a house on the property (which Laura called “the wonderful house,” as it was the largest she had lived in at that point).

Both houses are gone, but Plum Creek–ah, that’s still there! I’m looking forward to taking off my shoes and wading in it, just like Laura did.

The site of the dugout has been marked, and Walnut Grove has a museum dedicated to Laura and the time period. The church bell that Pa donated his shoe money for hangs at a church in town as well.

Tour the site of plum creek and Laura’s home:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

And take a walk on the banks of plum creek:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about the Minnesota site:

• Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum, Walnut Grove

Stop 4. De Smet, South Dakota

Books written about this site: By the Shores of Silver Lake, The Long Winter, Little Town on the Prairie, These Happy Golden Years, The First Four Years

Head to Little House in De Smet on Google Earth

After suffering disappointments in both Minnesota and Iowa, where the Ingalls lived for a short time, the family decided to move further west so Pa could work for the railroad as it expanded through South Dakota. This ended up being their final move until Laura, Mary, Carrie, and Grace left home as adults.

De Smet is the site of the Long Winter, the site of Laura’s courtship with Almanzo Wilder, and the start of their married life together.

Tour the Little Town on the Prairie:

( Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Stop 5. Malone, New York

Books written about this site: Farmer Boy

Head to Almanzo’s childhood home on Google Earth

Almanzo was born on this farm in 1857, and Laura shares his childhood story beautifully in her book Farmer Boy. His family lived here for nearly two decades, until crop failures forced them to move west to Minnesota.

Almanzo’s original home still stands, and has been restored as much as possible to the time period in which the book was written.

Tour Almanzo’s farm:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Stop 6. Mansfield, Missouri

Head to Rocky Ridge Farm on Google Earth

All the Little House books were written from this location!

Laura, Almanzo, and Rose moved here in 1894 looking for a fresh start in farming. They transformed the rocky land they purchased bit by bit and spent nearly 20 years building the white farmhouse that is now a museum honoring the family’s legacy.

Years ago Steve and I had the chance to visit Rocky Ridge Farm on a road trip before having children, and I loved seeing Pa’s fiddle and Laura’s kitchen and parlor.

I’m standing at the site of the “Rock House,” which Rose (Laura/Almanzo’s daughter) built as a gift to her parents down the street from Rocky Ridge Farm. After living there a few years, they said it was “too fancy” for them and that they were homesick for the farm – so they moved back down the street!

Tour the Little House on Rocky Ridge Farm:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about Rocky Ridge farm:

• Laura Ingalls Wilder home and museum
• Laura Ingalls Wilder house
• Rocky Ridge Farm – Tripadvisor

I hope you enjoyed this Little House virtual field trip out west with Laura and me – a special thanks to Laura Ingalls Wilder, Frontier Girl for all of the wonderful video clips!

Head here to read all Jamie’s posts re: Little House – including the one after we returned from our trip!

“It has been years since I beat eggs with a fork or cleaned a kerosene lamp. Many things have changed since then, but the truths we learned from our parents and the principles they taught us are always true. They can never change.”~ Laura Ingalls Wilder, reflecting on her famous series

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!