Simple life matters

Lie to me

2017-12-26T05:14:00.000-08:00

I just listened to a song which has this line: " lie to me, if the truth is gonna hurt" and I often times hear the guys say: "ladies don't like to be told the truth, they want the lies because if you say the truth they will get mad" and I even hear the ladies be like: " I want to hear the truth" but right inside they are scared of how much the truth will hurt, hear the children saying: " dad can't find out the truth, we have to lie so he won't beat us up, and the parents too in an attempt to keep things secret will end up lying to the children.

Then when the lies have all been told and maybe kept long.... For over years... And one day the truth leaks out..... Boom!! There's the bomb.

Biblically, looking back to the old testament, the ten commandments where basically divided into two which are:
a.Love the Lord thy God
b. Love your neighbours
And to do these, if you say you love your neighbours, if you love God and you really love them, trust me you won't lie to them. Opps!! Don't forget, Jesus really said: " I am the way, THE TRUTH and the life, no man cometh to the father except by me. And if you go through the bible, you see these words.... Verily verily( truly, truly) , the words of truth etc. Thus leaving a yardstick for truth. What if this Supreme God should ever lie, would your trust still remain in him??.
Relationship is defined as:
a. The way in which two people, group or countries behave towards each other or deal with each other.
b. A loving and/or sexual relationship between two people.
c. The way in which two or more things are connected
d. The way in which a person is related to somebody else in a family.
From all these definition, we can all agreed that relationship cut across everyone, family members, friends, besties, couples, countries, etc.
We live in a world where lies is the order of the day, if we are not lying to cover an offence, we lie to get a grant, or lie to keep someone, or lie so you won't hurt someone's feelings or worst of all lie to protect your selfish interest.
I've listened to some young minds or even older ones talk, especially between a ladies and her man, when the ladies says.... He has been lying to me all these while, or a lady's man says: she has been lying to me all these while... Then I hear curses erupt, some form of argument....then hearts are broken and regrets just feels the room till it get too stuffy for them so the part ways..... Too late. I've listened to a conversation between a father ad his son/ daughter and the son lies to him about everything in order to escape from his father's wrath,.... Lolz. Like my father will always say: sin begats sin. Example: Lucas asks his father for money, telling him that the money is to be used for his school fees, but having an intention to use it for something else which he did; two months later he really needed money to pay his fees and couldn't ask his father so he stole from him instead: remember..... Sin begats sin. His father finds out about the missing money and asked him.... He bluntly said he doesn't even know his dad got money around. Wow!! Lucus has successfully put himself into much trouble, now my question is: what stopped him from stating his real mission in the first place??.
Hear me folks, you could be so successful in lying, you could even get an award for being able to sustain your relationship with your parents, friends or spouse for a very long time but lemme ask you this: do you know what trust is all about??.
Trust according to my dictionary is the belief that somebody/ something is good, sincere and honest and will not try to harm or trick you...... I'm smiling... It's as though the dictionary just decided to favour me because its mine, maybe you should check your dictionary if it actually support your lies.
Now tell me, how could you ever say these..... Can my dad just trust me for once?, could my wife just trust me and stop suspecting my every moves?, can my fiance or fiancee just trust me?... Hahhaahhahhahaahhaha how is that possible when you've been lying to him/ her, lying to mum and dad, how will you even trust yourself, you might even start disbelieving yourself and just have a feeling the other person doesn't trust you.
You might be tempted to ask me at this point..... If I tell him/her/ them the truth won't they be mad at me? Won't they loss their trust in me?, won't it make me feel weak?, now my answer as a typical African who answer questions with questions is...... If he/ she/ they finds out the truth after much covering of lies with other lies, won't it hurt then more?, won't it make the degree of anger greater? Won't questions like... Why didn't you tell me the truth be asked? And then you will start hearing .... If you had told me, I would have forgiven you, I should have given you the money, you didn't have to lie for it, and worst of all is when you hear, you have ruined everything, I've lost my trust in you. There you see marriages broken, friendship broken, family relationship and love shattered.
I'm speaking as a young lady, I prefer you hurt me with the truth, than cook up some lies to keep me calm and under your charm.
Another aspect is addressed to parents, parents who try to hide things from their children ( especially useful information), sometimes the children hear about those things from others and when they ask, you gather the guts to still lie to them about it...... I'm sorry to say this, I know it hurts you so badly but trust me..... The more you hide it, the farther we are from believing it, the more upset we tend to get and the more we loss our trust for you. All what I'm trying to say is the truth will save us all.
Now let me give you some tips, that moment where the lie is almost slipping from your lips,just think about how sweet it seems to taste, how quick it seem to come out and also try to figure out how happy, fulfilled, peaceful and relieved you will be after saying the truth even if it's going to involve the use of the words I'M SORRY.
The best is abstinence, abstain from actions that will get you into lying, if going out at odd hours or staying out would make you lie, then don't go out. If cheating is gonna make you lie, then don't cheat, if greed is gonna make you lie... Don't be covetous by doing these you save yourself the stress of lying and losing the trust you so crave to gain.
Just remember that everyone wants the truth from you and sometimes accept your lies because they feel they trust you to be sincere and honest.... Please don't break their trust with those lies.
Be truthful to me!!

You think you got a choice??

2017-11-27T01:54:00.000-08:00

I know I got you thinking...... Like: what is she really going to talk about??. Earnestly, this has really been an issue across all ages (young, middle age and old), all works of life and definitely across all continents and nations of the world.
Everyone has decision problems.... Ouucchh!! Might hurt, but I just said that!!, and I know it's true but it's all based on the actions we take when face with this problem of decision.
A student in high school is faced with the choices of what to go for( science, art, or the commercials) and there we go again, after high school, decision sets in, what tertiary institution do I apply for?, what course do I study?,etc.
Hahhahahahha...... I really had to laugh out loud, you done with school and the next is where do I work??, who should I marry??, how many kids do I need??, what kind of cars and so on...
Well!! Let me say....... I've been there, at least I've made several choices, some where good and some so wrong, but not to worry, there are several steps out of indecision.
The problem of indecision is most common with the young minds, which leads them to crisis, frustration, regret, guilt and as many others. Let's take a scenario; a high graduate with the intention of been a medical student, ends up going for medicine and surgery.... Hahhaha I laugh at such scenes.... Sometimes the youngster might just be following peers, other times might just be poor orientation and worst of all, not knowing what he/she really wants.
I really need to strike a point here; to make a decision you must have several options on your desk, not just one and you definitely need to pick the right one, to do this, you need proper orientation on all the various options you have on that desk.
Permit me to give a loud laugh on this one, let's work this out together;....... In a developing country where money is what everyone is struggling for; A fresh graduate with his degree certificate happens to submit his Cv to several companies, he pops up his email one day and finds to successful entries, one paying #150000 and the other #200000, which of these will he definitely run for??, that question is kind of rhetorical, he will go for the #200000 job, not minding his passion or whatever. In this case I would say this person is suffering from indecision.
The funny truth is, he won't even sit for a minute to check the disadvantages over the advantages of this job, neither will he look up other important facts... Trust me, he goes for the money an because there is no passion he might not work effectively.
For the young mind thinking of medicine as the only medical course, or thinking of accounting as the only commercial course, or you thinking of law is the only art course, I got great news for you... You're choosing these because you don't have proper orientation to different opportunities in different fields, you've given yourself one option and therefore you can't choose. Rem: I said you can only choose when you have several options on your desk. And for the young man with the two job offers, trust me.... You might be making a lifetime mistake.
Going through my few days on earth, I've come to learn few steps to making choices:
First step: Get information
Let's get back to the young student, he won't be choosing most of these courses if he had gotten information about other related courses(art, sciences, or commercial). I almost feel victim of indecision but it I'm so glad I had people who put me through, I came to find out that 8 out of every 10 young persons make the same mistake( not knowing any other related courses except the major ones). Same thing goes to every aspect of life, we are like: he towed this line of job or business and succeeded, so our mind get attached to exactly the same kind of job not minding to find out if there are better opportunities in other related aspect of that job. Or we say; He married a blond, beautiful, caring lady or she said yes to a tall, dark and handsome man so these are the criteria to look out for. We set out standards from the normal trend, we give ourselves limits by what seems to be the highest attained course of study, the most prominent jobs, or even the most promising marriages.
Hey people!! Break standards, leave the benchmark, move higher by knowing other related areas and make a difference by making the right choice.
Second step: Reasons
After knowing what options are before you, give yourself reason why you should or should not pick a particular option. Funny enough, i was speaking to a freshman in the medical school, the only question I asked was: "why medicine? " he was confused and couldn't give me an answer to the seemingly simple question. This scene is where I go the inspiration to write this piece. You must have a reason for everything you do, every serious decision you are about to take, there must be reasons. My church experience could help, anytime I go to church without a reason, I don't seem to get the enthusiasm of being in church and I end up getting nothing or even leaving with -10% of what I came in with. Same goes if you don't have reasons for decisions or choices you make.
Third step: Weigh
This step would be quite short, weigh the disadvantages over the advantages, if the disadvantages outweighs the advantages please back out.
Last step: Know what you want and go for it
After taking the three steps, this last step becomes simple, just pick out what you really want, have a reason why you want it and go for it. This is because if you don't know what you want, you can be easily won over by the other cheap options which are not the best for you dear one.
Choice Activities

Involve the only supreme being (God)
Don't rush
See beyond the seen
Analyse
Don't allow side talks hinder decisions you know are right and at the same time;
Be flexible
Go for the best

I got your back guys!! Go get the best, you deserve it..!!.