So it’s up to me to decide how to proceed. Do I pay a downpayment and finance same-as-cash for three months? Or do I put down nothing and finance same-as-cash for six months? Going the six-month route puts me back in the window of time where Noah will be back on the daily scene of our family life. But his recommendation the last time we spoke was to finance as little as possible. Hrm.

This aspect of the decision is a mere distraction, though. I think what’s bothering me more than anything is having to actually choose. By myself. People do this kind of thing every day: single adults, divorced persons, other military spouses. But this time it’s me! A champion waffler! Who was married in my early 20s and thus never had the opportunity to make big financial decisions on my own!

I have a hunch this is a major overreaction. Yet maybe it’s justified. Maybe it’s like when I bought my first car (from an acquaintance, who inherited it from his little old grandmother, no joke) and I felt empowered and liberated. Yes, that’s how I’ll choose to feel. Not worried or apprehensive, but smart and savvy.

Here’s the plan:

1. I will ask as many questions as I need to.
2. I will go over the numbers one hundred times if necessary.
3. I will go for it.

Fortunately, the Navy will now temporarily relocate Ethan and me so we can be with Noah while he trains in Florida (winter on the beach, anyone?!). We’re thrilled to be together, but now we’re scrambling to make arrangements. All of a sudden we now have to consider:

• 5 months of housing in Florida
• housesitter for our home in North Carolina
• what to do with our dogs—take them with us, or find someone to care for them here?
• two sets of bills: NC and FL
• temporary forbearance or reduction of some of our NC bills
• furniture in Florida
• change over of health benefits from city benefits to military
• change over of Noah’s income from city paycheck to Navy paycheck
• holiday schedule

Ok, so my introduction connecting fall fashion to new and lasting autumn memories may not resonate with many SimpliFiers. Most of us have our eyes on retirement.  But I bet there are alot of us out there who, while maintaining one eye on retirement, have the other on the here and now. Whether your understanding of what’s trendy is a byproduct of your teenager’s desires or you happen to glance over the magazine covers in the grocery store line, you’ve gotta wear clothes and you’re gonna be faced with what’s hot and what’s not.  Like many fellow SimpliFiers, I like to watch my pocketbook.  So, let’s take one trend here and see if we can find a SimpliFied version.  Exhibit A: spicy fall color.

Coral was everywhere this past spring and summer and more muted versions of orange and coral will stick around through the cold months.  We’ll see it in luxurious drapey satins and woolly knits.  Here’s a dress at Lanvin that probably costs more than your mortgage:

Lanvin Dress from Fall 2011 Ready to Wear collection: photo from nymag.com

Say you need to pay your mortgage instead?   H&M offers a similar look for $34.95:

H&M Satin Party Dress

Here’s to fall! Cheers!

However, I refuse to deprive myself of certain foods.  I’ve consumed many cheesecakes, brownies, and other yummy goods and still lost weight, even over the holidays.  I eat chocolate every morning for breakfast (with other breakfast items, of course).  The difference is that I might eat a one inch squared brownie whereas the normal portion is two or three times larger.  The decision to go pescetarian was a personal one.  Aside from that, if you count your calories, you are not likely to spend them all on french fries.

But I have one weakness.  Biscuits.  Flaky, doughy, sweet or savory: any way you can make a biscuit, I will cherish it.  We frequent a breakfast place that makes amazing biscuits.  In the fall they have pumpkin biscuits; moist, cloud-like, and brimming with warm autumnal spices.  Of all biscuits, Pumpkin is my siren, and she calls only one or two months a year.  Pumpkin or not, I indulge every weekend, but sacrifice other starches: no grits, no hashbrowns.  The focus is on the prize: le biscuit. Remember, carbs are not bad – you need them.  But this mega biscuit put me over my count for the day. After breakfast, we take a brisk meander through some nearby trails. It burns enough calories for me to earn that biscuit.

What does that have to do with money?  Very little.  But I have recently decided that I need to take that same discipline and apply it to my shopping habits.  I have more shopping than food weaknesses, so it will be a challenge.  I’m an ice woman when it comes to food choices.  But shoes? dresses?  Putty in their soles and threads.

In other words, I’ve got some financial biscuits to earn too.

This means though, that I get chihuahua themed greeting cards and gifts (which I love!), and they usually paint a prim picture of the breed.  This year for my birthday, I got two different cards with a very tiny, confident chihuahua on each.   The word “pampered” graced both cards as did various arrangements of tulle.  My friends are keenly aware of my affinity for beauty products. So, tis fitting.  But while obsessed with skincare and makeup, I’m less willing to pay certain costs for maintenance.   No regular facials, massages, body treatments, or manis and pedis.  I do my own.  Well, except for the massages. That would be weird.

A good facial could cost anywhere from $75 to well over $120 depending on where you go.  Massages are generally more.  Throw on some hot stones and you can increase your bill significantly.  Regular manicures and pedicures add up.  Let’s say you go to a day spa for a mani/pedi.  It might cost you $65.  Add in 20% tip and now you’re up to $78.  Do that twice a month and you’re looking at $1872 per year.  It’s less expensive to go to a nail salon, but it’s still a luxury to me.  I’m so hard on my hands.   I literally chip away at my investment with each passing minute.

Then there is hair color. You have to keep that up every 6 weeks or so.  The average cost of a haircut is around $45.  From the price lists I’ve seen, you can add an extra $50 to $80 for highlights or all-over color.  I’m not even willing to entertain the idea of Botox yet.  And when a friend recently asked what I thought about cellulite treatments, I declared sincere admiration for my cellulite.  Those things are a few more birthdays down the road, if ever.

The way I see it, if I can avoid the highlights, manicures, and pedicures, that leaves me with at least an extra $2,300 per year that I can spend on high quality at-home treatments.  Pampered, indeed!

One is to have it during the day. People drink less and expect a lighter meal.  There’s the issue of the venue.  For the ceremony, we either had to pay a hefty fee (up to $2,500), or take classes and join the church (up to 13 weeks of our lives).  Our ceremony was MAYBE 30 minutes.  Finally, we found a humble chapel at a university. My dressing room was in the religious studies department which was located right beyond the chapel’s back door.  Having majored in religious studies and after feeling the judgment or rejection of every other venue, it felt right. And the price was right too: $150.00.   We transported the flowers from the ceremony to the reception, including bridesmaid bouquets which were dropped in vases. It’s smart to get flowers in season or to ask for cheaper substitutes (ranunculus is a beautiful sub for rose). You can also save by opting for heavy hors d’oeuvres vs. a sit down dinner.

The reception was at an English Hunt style mansion turned nonprofit art museum (partial tax deduction!).  We had a champagne toast, local craft beer, and a cake that was tastier than it was pretty.  I bought a simple, beautiful gown online but splurged on a tiara and letterpress invitations. However, we omitted the lined envelope, the stamped RSVP card and envelope, and opted for an email RSVP on a one-sided invitation.  The cost was less than many modern invitations with all the trimmings.  Overall, our cost was much less per person than the national average.

The best thing is that it wasn’t too stressful.  Brides (and grooms), it really is your day, so make it about you. But don’t forget: it is a DAY.  So if your wedding budget is high relative to your overall budget or what your life plan may indicate, or if you are just feeling pressure to have a bigger bash than makes you comfortable, my advice is to remember the meaning behind the day.  You are  celebrating the commitment to spend the rest of your life with one other person.  That is a big deal.  Marriage was invented when people lived to be, like, 40. So, if you’re going to stress out about something, that should be it.  Not your wedding day.  Congratulations!