SimpliC☺

Looking For An Unusual Haircut?

2013-09-10T14:39:00.000+01:00

Here are some stylists that can make your hair stand up, literally.

Eyes Closed Zen & Hoover Haircut

The Fire Haircut

The Underwater Haircut

The Clawz Haircut

The Giant Comb & Garden Scissors Haircut

Job Hunting DOs & DON'Ts

2013-08-17T15:47:00.000+01:00

So you got inspired by our previous post and decided to quit your job.

Great! Congratulations you are now free.

But cash is running low

and you are finding it hard to get a new job.

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you out.

DO have a creative CV

In any shape or form

but DON'T hand write it

DO advertise yourself

We know you have qualifications

so DO show them off

but DON'T list the ones that are not relevant.

even if they are the Shit

And DON'T "invent" new ones

DON'T write in a way that only you (and your bros) understand

and DON'T use Google to translate your CV if your English isn't great

DON'T add crazy pictures!

especially if it's not a picture of you

and preferably DON'T include any drug dealing experiences

And most importantly DON'T scare the shit out of your future boss before you have signed the contract

Good Luck job hunting and remember

Quit Your Job - The Cool Way

2013-08-10T21:09:00.000+01:00

So you are fed up taking orders from others and

You have the the same schedule day in and day out...

Going to work every morning is a struggle

and leaving feels like the carnival in Rio

The work load never ends?

You hate your job, you don't get paid enough, your manager is the face of all evil and your boss is the idiot with lots of money that drives you nuts?

(Buy here)

And you definitely don't want to end up like this guy!

Looks like it's fuck this shit o'clock!

Here are some ideas to help you quit with style.

Make a cake.

Even better - make 2.

Or maybe some cupcakes

Write your feelings down

on a note

on a card

as a daily reminder

on a receipt (if you have too much testicular velocity)

or maybe on a board

or simply leave a message

Add some music

some dance

and some mates

and leave like a boss

Simply quit all the jobs!

because

Get That Dog!

2012-06-02T19:07:00.000+01:00

Angry Monkey

2012-04-28T15:47:00.000+01:00

Fuck The Recession

2012-04-02T20:00:00.000+01:00

I'm spending.

"Too many people spend money they

haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."

Will Smith

£8 million = the average household income of an American family for 160 years

$785 millions can pay the salaries of 36250 people for a year in Russia

$21.8 million can build aprox. 2500 schools in third world countries

$311 million - the GDP(PPP) of Sao Tome and Principe

$46 million can pay for the education of 230 doctors in USA

$1 billion can build 33 hospitals in India

$106.5 million = 21 300 000 mosquito nets

$1.1 billion can feed aprox. 3 million starving children for a year

$26 million = 130 average homes in USA

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris!

2012-03-10T11:14:00.003+00:00

Here at SimpliC☺ we haven't posted anything for quite some time, but there is one day we can't miss - 10th March.

The birthday of a legend.

The birthday of Chuck Norris.

Caution!

So we have put together a small compilation of images to mark this very special day.

In the beginning

Chuck Norris' home

In his free time he reads

and wins Super Mario

Angry Birds

and Pacman

Ever wonder why Justin Bieber is still alive?

It's because he is a friend of Chuck Norris.

He is everywhere

and knows everything

He has Macedonian ID,

Alaska Driver's License

and a Hello Kitty Portuguese Bank Card,

which he doesn't actually need

Everyone likes Chuck Norris

even more than boobs

You never miss a call from Chuck Norris

You don't look for him

And you never joke about him...

because

And only he will survive 2012

Long live Chuck Norris!!!

And only he can cut the cake!

2012 Bring It On

2011-12-31T12:59:00.000+00:00

OMG! It's Xmas

2011-12-25T10:51:00.000+00:00

Merry Christmas!

Quick, Fast And In A Hurry - China

2011-11-28T18:11:00.000+00:00

1. 15-story hotel build in 6 days - The Ark Project

Level 9 earthquake resistant
6 times less materials
5 times more energy efficient
20 times cleaner air indoors
1% construction waste
Sound-proof
Thermally insulated

2. The fast & furious CRH380

The world's fastest bullet train CRH380 runs at an average speed of 220mph and can cover 126 miles in 45 minutes. It's maximum speed can reach up to 262mph.

3. Think fast

The Tainhe-1A is the world fastest computer and (you guessed it) it's Made In China. It scored 2.507 petaflops as measured by the LINPACK benchmark. It is powered by 7,168 Nvidia tesla M2050 GPUS and 14,336 Intel Xeon CPUs.

4. Cheap and best, China is the best

The Chinese economy is the fastest growing economy among all the developing economies.

Special economic Zones - Certain area is specially reserved for industries to undertake the productions of goods and services. Those who set up the industry in these areas are given tax benefit or cheaper electricity and many other thing to encourage industrialization.
Stock Exchange - All the money invested at the Chinese stock exchange is not allowed to flow outside the country.
Casinos - The people of China are not allowed to play at casinos.

Source: Marketing91.com

5. In the making

China is reportedly developing a high-speed train that will travel at up to 1,000kph or aprox. 621mph through Maglev lines in airless tubes underground.

Source: Smart Planet

6. Up & down we go

Upon completion in 2014, The Shanghai Tower will be the tallest building in China and will have the world's fastest elevators, travelling up and down at 1,080 meters per minute.

Source: Japan Realtime

7. "Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid of standing still." - Chinese poverb

Six of the world's fastest growing cities are in China - Nantong, Jiangmen, Putian, Shantou, Huizhou, Foshan and Naypyitaw.

Source: CNN

8. One strike

Despite having 150% more soldiers than America, China has developed a "kill weapon" to target and destroy U.S. aircraft carriers in one strike. It is estimated that the missile can travel at mach 10 and reach its maximum range of 2000km in less than 12 minutes.

Source: Business Insider

9. Fast death

China executes 3 times as many people as the rest of the world combined, according to Amnesty International. And they even use mobile execution vans for efficiency.

Source: The Guardian

10. Amen

China is on the fast track to become the largest center of Christianity in the world. There are now an estimated 54 million Christians.

How Are Babies Made

2011-11-20T15:42:00.001+00:00

The tool

The Result

First Thoughts

2011-11-20T15:34:00.001+00:00

The Married Man

2011-11-13T13:16:00.000+00:00

Selling this...

...to buy this

To Have Or Not To Have?

2011-11-12T19:56:00.000+00:00

Siri In The Future

2011-11-07T22:25:00.000+00:00

Remember the post about Siri?

Well, soon after someone has come up with this.

Smart = mean. Evolution...

Who Let The Dog Out ...

2011-11-06T10:12:00.000+00:00

On The Football Pitch

LOL

I Want To Play

2011-11-02T15:23:00.000+00:00

...but I got you a present:

Happy Halloween

2011-10-29T18:53:00.000+01:00

Check out more funny Halloween photos at http://photofights.blogspot.com/

The iPhone Siri - Smart & Funny

2011-10-23T12:43:00.000+01:00

Here's a large collection of some of the funniest & smartest Siri's responses.

Unfortunately, for now, Siri will make you laugh only if you live in the USA.

Sources: Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4, Link 5, Link 6, Link 7

Real Life Angry Birds

2011-10-16T19:30:00.000+01:00

Attacking by land & air

How Cool Is That!

2011-10-15T16:02:00.000+01:00

Fast Forward

2011-10-13T21:21:00.000+01:00

Funny?

Fast forward...

And with a friend

I need more hair!

Most Important Words - F**k vs Sh*t

2011-10-09T22:37:00.000+01:00

1. Aggression:
Fuck you! – Eat shit!

2. Agreement:
You’re fucking right.– Shit happens.

3. Apathy:
Who gives a fuck? - Who gives a shit?

4. Annoyance:
Don’t fuck with me. – Don’t give me that shit.

5. Benevolence:
Don’t do me any fucking favours. – I don’t need your shit.

6. Confusion:
What the fuck? – What the shit?

7. Disbelieve:
No fucking way! – No shit, Sherlock!

8. Despair:
Fucked again. – In deep shit.

9. Displeasure:
What the fuck is going on here? – What’s that shit?
10. Difficulty:
I can't understand this fucking job. – That’s bullshit.

11. Dismay:
Oh! Fuck it. – Holy shit!

12. Enjoyment:
I had a fucking good time. – That was some wicked shit.

13. Identification:
Who the fuck are u? – Whose shit is this?

14. Ignorance:
Fucked if I know. – I don’t give a shit.

15. Innovation:
Get a bigger fucking hammer. – Big shit poppin…

16. Incompetence:
He is a fuck-off. – He is a shit head.

17. Hostility:
I'm going to knock your fucking head off! - I’m gonna kick the shit out of you!

18. Philosophical:
Who gives a fuck? – I don’t give a shit.

19. Request:
Get the fuck out of here! – Go eat shit!
20. Trouble:
I am fucked. – The shit hit the fan.

"You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!"

Source: Barry Schulman

So Sh*t happens - just the depth varies!

And there's no-one better explaining the importance of F**k than Osho.

It's f**king hilarious.

The winner is up to you.

In 21st Century

2011-10-08T16:57:00.001+01:00

Telecommunications develop faster than cars.

Viewing Your Ex's Profile

2011-10-05T09:18:00.000+01:00

One of the exes should get this message:

The other - this:

Then both should do this: