I actually love Super Bowl Parties.  Not only for the party itself – but also because I can be “in the know” about what got served up on TV.  It’s a good conversation starter with students, too.

But here’s another advantage of workong with middle schoolers!  They won’t care that I missed the game – even the ones who were glued to the screen the whole time.  In fact, some of them may be glad I didn’t see it!  Because it gives THEM an opportunity to “fill me in” on what I missed.

I find that junior highers love to give me their perspective on anything I don’t know about.  Especially since I’m always teaching them things – they love the chance to “teach me back”.  So don’t worry if you haven’t read the Hunger Games, or heard Selena’s most recent song…Or seen the funniest Super Bowl commercials.  Just ask a student to give you their expert opinion.  It’ll make them feel valued, it’ll remind them that you care — and it’ll save you time by knowing which commercials to look up on YouTube and which ones to skip. 

Oh, and congrats to whichever team won,  Luckily for me, my Cincinnati Bengals never play in the Super Bowl, so I don’t have to worry so much about missing it.

This is the 5th in a little series about some of the things that have helped me last for almost 25 years. There is no silver bullet here, just a little insight about things that have seemed to make a difference in my journey as a youth worker.

BLEED IT, BUT DON’T BLEED TO DEATH!

Every now and then, a young youth worker will say something like this, “Youth ministry is my life!”. To which I always reply internally, and upon occasion even blurt out, “Really? That’s too bad.”

I think youth ministry, or any ministry endeavor for that matter, deserves some extra effort. Youth ministry isn’t for folks who are clock-watchers, who only want to do the minimum job requirements. I actually think it deserves to be led by men and women who aren’t afraid to “bleed” it a little bit. But we should NEVER bleed to death!

- When you consistently sacrifice your family for the sake of your youth ministry…you are bleeding to death.
- When your friendships suffer because you spend too much time at youth ministry events…you are bleeding to death.
- When you have no outside hobbies because you spend your free time with teenagers or planning events for teenagers…you are bleeding to death.
- When you fail to take your day off, or you skimp on vacation time due to the demands of youth ministry…you are bleeding to death.
- When you spend time in the word out of the need to prepare lessons rather than out of a love for the Father…you are bleeding to death.

I like to think I bleed junior high ministry. But because it isn’t my life, and because I want to last for the long haul I refuse to let it bleed me to death.

I once heard an respected Christian leader joke, “I’d love being a Pastor, if it wasn’t for all the people!” Pretty funny joke, actually.

Yet in the often fast-paced, performance-driven, growth-oriented, program-dominated ministries many youth workers find themselves in it can be very difficult to find the time to, or even the value of, keeping people as the primary focus of our energy. I feel like I could write an entire book on the importance of keeping people the priority in youth ministry…but I actually couldn’t because it hasn’t been one of my strengths. While I’m not qualified to write an entire book on the subject, I can share a few things I’ve managed to get right over the years; things that have helped me stick around.

PEOPLE ARE MESSY: It’s tempting to avoid building true community with people in the congregation because people are messy! Ministry is stressful enough without purposely diving into any messes our jobs don’t already require. But here’s something I’ve learned: Nothing builds trust and loyalty in people like their leader’s willingness to share life….the good, the bad and the ugly.

PEOPLE TAKE TIME: It really is easier to do something yourself than to empower and equip somebody else to do it. It’s easier, but it isn’t better! I’ve met youth workers who are genuinely afraid to equip the body for kingdom work because they fear the old “working yourself out of a job” cliche will come true. And it might! But what a way to go! Lone Ranger talent hoarders who insist on being the most talented youth worker in the room are typically a flash in the pan.

PEOPLE ARE WORTH IT: You know, I know it, we ALL know it…so let’s minister like it. Sometimes this little reminder can make a big difference.

If you are a youth worker whose sole responsibility at your church is youth ministry, you are a rare breed! But today, I’m speaking to you. My entire youth ministry career has been spent serving at churches large enough to afford the luxury of a full-time junior high pastor. And because hiring a full-time junior high pastor is usually the last thing on a church’s mind, this means they have also had paid staff for just about every other ministry imaginable. And while this type of atmosphere has the potential for wonderful teamwork to emerge, the reality is that it almost always has the opposite effect…silos exist, individual “kingdoms” get built, and competition, rather than a spirit of unity, typically becomes the norm.

So I’ve learned that when a youth worker is willing to be a team player, he or she becomes a rare, highly valuable commodity on a church staff. And, it really isn’t all that hard. Here are three very simple things you can do to be perceived as a team player:

1) GIVE A RIP. It starts here. If you don’t really care about what God is up to in other departments of your church, why would you desire to partner/team up with them? Selfish, silo-driven, protective youth workers don’t have passion for any area of the church that doesn’t include, enhance or politically position the youth department in some fashion. Ask God to give you a heart for the entire church, and you’ll be surprised at how much more natural the idea of being a team player becomes.

2) SHOW INTEREST. Ask questions, reply to staff-wide emails, pop into another team’s meeting to say hello.

3) CHIP IN. Look for ways to pitch in whenever it is obvious another team has a big project or event. Volunteer your junior high department to serve at the senior adult pot-luck. Raise your hand in the staff meeting when the Senior Pastor is asking somebody to lead the month-long “special committee” that NOBODY wants to lead.

I’m sure you’re busy. I imagine you barely have time to do all the stuff your youth worker role requires. My hunch is that there isn’t a culture of teamwork at your church. Therefore it’s really natural to hunker down and focus only on the job you have been asked to do. But just because it’s natural, easy or cultural acceptable doesn’t mean it’s the best way. Take a chance…be a team player; I think you’ll be glad you did!

Over the years, whenever I find myself feeling unsettled, uneasy, unfulfilled or unsatisfied I check my internal “contentment meter”. And when I do, more often than not, I find that personal discontentment is the disease and the stuff I’m feeling in the moment are the symptoms.

Another key to lasting for the long haul in youth ministry (especially junior high ministry) is to practice the art of contentment. I say “practice the art” very intentionally because contentment doesn’t come naturally for most; it takes practice and because it is truly more of an art than a science; I don’t think there are formulas one can follow that guarantees contentment. When feeling discontent, there are typically layers and layers of possible causes, and trying to simplify something that can oftentimes be quite complex isn’t an easy thing to do. However, practicing the art of contentment does seem to start at a fairly easy-to-identify place: Our attitude. Simply put, contentment is a state of mind that one chooses to live in. We see this in Paul’s classic statement in Philippians 4:13 written from a prison cell!

In my pursuit of contentment, I have found three roadblocks that seem to get in my path…three areas that, when I give them too much attention, chip away at my ability to be content; they drain my personal “contentment meter”

1) FINANCES: Very few things cause youth workers more stress than their personal finances! None of us got into this gig hoping to get rich, but we certainly hoped to be able to figure out a way to do youth ministry without being condemned to the poor house! I have to think about money…I have a family counting on my ability to earn a living. But when I think about it too much….when I focus on how much more money I could make in another line of work, or even in another department of our church, I hurt my ability to be content.

2) COMPARING: Why does the church down the street have a youth room? How come I don’t get as much vacation time as the music pastor? Why do I have to juggle two jobs while the guy at the mega church youth ministry seems like he has tons of free time? All of those are actual questions I have been asked by fellow junior high youth workers; and I’ve similar ones myself from time to time. Do yourself a favor: Don’t play the comparison game…it’s a losing proposition! The parable of the vineyard workers teaches us the danger of comparing our “deal” with the deal somebody else has.

3) ENTITLEMENT: This attitude typically follows closely on the heals of comparison. When we compare, we quickly begin to feel entitled. A sense of entitlement, determining we deserve the stuff we’ve decided we deserve, will ALWAYS devour your ability to be content.

I’m not proposing you have to accept the status quo, squelch any desire for advancement and financial gain or stick up for yourself, your family and your future when appropriate. But, I am saying that if you allow yourself to be consumed by such things contentment will elude you….and likely so will a long career in youth ministry.

A couple of weeks ago I was speaking to a group of college students at Grace College. My final hour was spent talking about some of the lessons I’ve learned, and strategies I’ve implemented over the course of my youth ministry career that I believe have helped me hang around for almost 25 years. I thought I’d share them with you in a series of posts. I’ve asked my buddy, and co-contributor to this blog, Scott Rubin to write his thoughts about my tips as well as add a few of his own. So he’ll chime in from time to time as well. No silver bullets, here…just some stuff that has worked for me.

1. TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
I once heard this saying: “God loves you, and people have a wonderful plan for your life!”
I’ve learned that just about everybody has an opinion about what’s best for me. I should “move up” to a more legitimate ministry position, I should travel and speak more, I should travel and speak less, I should leave the comfort of big church ministry to start something new and daring, I should NEVER leave big church ministry. You name it, and somebody has suggested it to me.

Most of these suggestions come from people who like me, believe in me, and want to see me succeed in ministry. But here’s the problem: I sincerely doubt any of them have spent as much time praying about my life as I have. They’re well-intentioned, but wrong. Here are three things that may help you remain true to yourself, and not give undue attention to the plans other folks might have for your life:

A) Be Secure In Your Sense of Calling. Remember, God has you where he wants you. It might be for only a year, or it might be for a decade…but he put you in your current “place” and nobody but him should convince you there is something bigger, better, more fulfilling, more rewarding or more significant elsewhere.

B) Be Confident In Your Unique Giftedness. Sometimes people assume you should be doing something different, because they would want to do something different if they were in your shoes. One of my best friends can’t grasp the fact that I’m in youth ministry, and has often urged me to move on to something else. The reason: He doesn’t really enjoy teenagers, and can’t fathom somebody our age still choosing to be around them! Not everybody is gifted for young teen ministry…but you are!

C) Be Unapologetic For Your Passions. This ties into being confident in your giftedness. Just because others aren’t passionate about junior high ministry doesn’t mean it isn’t worth being passionate about. In fact, because so few people give a rip about young teens, those of us with a passion for making a difference in this age group need to be loud and proud!

Over the years, I’ve wondered if it’s time to get out of the game. After all, what junior high kid wants to hang out with a short, bald guy who is older than their dad and tells horrible jokes? And every time I start to wonder, I ask myself if I still feel called to it, If I’m still confident that I’m gifted for it and if I’m still passionate about my calling. Twenty five years into this gig, the answer is still a resounding yes…and because of that, I’m gonna hang around a little while longer.

Something I liked: I really liked the interview with Jake Kircher called “We love our youth worker.” The idea that there our churches out there committing to seven promises in their relationship with their youth workers is totally awesome.

???: Rick Lawrence article “Depression is an Inside/Outside thing” has a quote by Stephen Ilardi who said, “the more ‘modern’ a society’s way of life, the higher its rate of depression.” Wished there was more clarity to what “modern” meant.

Key Statement: Darren Sutton had this great thought “The spiritual gift of most junior highers is knowing which buttons to push, and when.” Love it!

Creative Idea: I picked up the T3 challenge kit from group at the last SYMC and have used it to challenge the kids to do something with $50 that we gave them. One of the “in the news” articles Stephanie Martin shared about was on Liquid Church and how it handed out money to its worshipers to use as they needed it or use it to make a difference – loved that idea and doing that with my kids.

* I am super excited about my newest book, 99 Thoughts About Junior High Ministry, that is set to release in March.  BUT you can pre-order your Kindle version and it will be delivered to your Kindle, iPad or other device on February 15.  What a great gift to get yourself the day after Valentine’s day! When released in physical form, it will be a fantastic and affordable book to purchase for everybody on your junior high ministry team!

* It’s not too late to join 3,000 other youth workers at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference coming up in March.  This year promises to be the best yet!  And…there is a ton of stuff specifically designed for those of you who work in junior high ministry.

* Do you subscribe to the (somewhat)daily youth ministry newsletter I write with Josh Griffin?  The Simply Youth Ministry Today newsletter includes weekly articles by the two of us as well as a response to each week’s content by somebody in the Youth Worker Nation.

* Almost 20,000 youth workers can’t be wrong.  Okay, I guess they could be but chances are they are onto something! Each week, almost 20,000 people watch The Simply Youth Ministry Show.  It’s a 30-minute youth ministry extravaganza hosted by me and my good friend, Jake Rutenbar.  Each episode revolves around a specific topic and typically includes a special guest who corrects our utterly ridiculous proclamations about said topic!  Need a sample?  Below is our most recent episode.

If I were asked to share three teaching tips, these would be my top three:

- Plan Ahead! Create a 6-month teaching calendar that has some sort of strategic thinking behind it! Our strategy is pretty simple, but it’s effective. We try to balance our teaching in three categories: 1) Bible education/doctrine 2) Junior High Life Skills and 3) Felt need.

- Pray It Up! Pray about what to teach, pray as you create your lesson, and pray while you are in the midst of it.

- Keep It Short And Simple! The only people who like long sermons are preachers. I have been teaching JH students for a long time, and I have NEVER heard a complaint that the lesson was too short. A short, easy-to-apply lesson is my goal every time I teach.

Obviously, some important aspects of teaching junior highers are missing in my list. How about you….what would make your “top 3 teaching tips”? Share them with the rest of us!