Simply Max

Immigrant's dilema

2017-12-03T07:58:00.000-09:30

In today's world, immigration has become such a heated topic, that I feel compelled to share my thoughts about it.

I am not going to proudly display a flag of the country where I was born, the country that made us feel so unwelcomed that my parents had to travel to the other side of the world in hopes of providing me with a better life.   However, I am eternally grateful to my family for the childhood experiences I was so lucky to have!   Those made me who I am today. Not a day passes by that I don't remember them.

I also remember the hiss of the racist slurs behind my back.   I will never forget the feeling of always being ready to fight with anybody who was willing to say those slurs to my face.   I hope I will never forget that.

Having those memories and experiences made me the person that I am today.

American Jews are very quick to tell me that I am not a Jew. Because I don't go to synagogue, because I don't observe kosher. NO!   I am a Jew because of my blood, because of my culture!   I grew up with a constant reminder that I am a part of the most persecuted and hated group of people in the world!     A group of people that not only survived, but excelled in the face of immense obstacles!

As a Soviet Jew, assimilation into the surrounding population has always been the survival option. However, to me, to assimilate, to let go of my cultural identity and heritage was always akin to betrayal.    Betrayal of the people before me who were faced with much tougher circumstances and stayed true to who they were. There is a very thin and tricky line between staying true to your heritage and assimilating into the surrounding population, one has to walk...a perfect balance of give and take.

As an immigrant, I find myself again on the same cross-roads. Everyday I am trying to find a balance between assimilation and staying true to my heritage.

America is my home, my country, the place where my loyalty lies. This part is simple! However, my cultural background, is what makes me a better American. It seems that, sadly, my cultural background provides me with a better appreciation of this country's uniqueness, of all the things that set America apart from the rest of the world.

Too many immigrants who come to America and try to change this country into their homeland, or simply refuse to assimilate.

To sum up my rambling, I think each immigrant should find that elusive perfect balance between assimilation and staying true to your cultural heritage.

What my kids have taught me

2016-08-09T01:04:00.000-09:30

We teach our kids how to be better people, how to avoid mistakes we made, how to stay safe, what to do to make their life easier, and so many other things. Once in a while they teach us few things as well.

I want to share a short list of things my kids taught me:

1. Schedules are just not nice!
2. It is never bad to push your luck.
3. Never let purple sun touch zombies.
4. Don’t over-complicate things. Got to watch TV? Great! Went to the zoo? Awesome!
5. No need to be shy when you can just talk to anyone!
6. Be passionate! Go all in!
7. Ice cream makes anything better!
8. It's OK to scream silly things and be yourself!

I am sure this list is much bigger than that. These are just few things that cane to mind now.

Are you lucky?

2016-07-25T14:35:00.000-09:30

Today, a woman asked me how she can track her daughters cell phone. See, the daughter suffers from seizures. Last time the daughter had an episode, she collapsed on the side of the road and was found by a stranger. At that time the parents were not contacted until the daughter came to, and identified herself.

As a mother, I was brought to tears at the thought of terrible feeling of not only having a sick child, but not knowing were your child is.

Hug your children extra tight! Hold them a little longer! Soak in every moment, every smile, every word! Lets count the blessings in our life! Lets do everything in our power to help the ones who are not as lucky as we are! There are no guarantees in life, and we need to protect the delicate balance of good luck and will!

Elie Wiesel, the prominent Holocaust survivor passes away.

2016-07-04T08:01:00.000-09:30

Reading about the passing of Elie Wiesel http://nyti.ms/29pctJ1 made me very sad.

As the survivors and witnesses of the greatest atrocities in the world die, it is becoming increasingly important for us to remember what happened. For if we remember, we will not let it happen again.

The world that has become a perverted version of Alise in Wonderland "where everything that should not be, is" . It is up to us to make sure that our children won't have to pay for our mistakes!

Asthma

2015-12-20T11:03:00.001-09:30

It was cold outside yesterday and my asthma immediately got angry! I am a strong and independent woman. So, being limited in the things I can do by this stupid condition is just so frustrating! Here I am surrounded by my family, but feeling absolutely useless. I want my health back!

Thoughts of an alien

2015-12-20T06:37:00.000-09:30

20 years ago, my family and I got on a plane and came to America. Twenty years is a lifetime. I can't help but reflect back on what my life was before that day, what the assimilation was, and what is my life now.

Growing up in Europe, everything was different...everything. It was very difficult to assimilate to the American culture. At times my surroundings seemed like a dream...and I just had to wake up.

I remember people making fun of my accent, and of the way I behaved. But somewhere in this struggle something happened. I became an American. I got citizenship and this country became mine.

As I write this , I am surrounded by my family and realize that I wouldn't change any of it!!

Effects of Paris

2015-11-21T07:04:00.000-09:30

When un-imaginable evil hit Paris a lot of had to come to grips with the reality that terrorist appear to be winning. I grew up a minority woman in a culture that hated people like me - just because. So I consiously would never think about about another group of people from the view point of generalized stereotypes. I teach my kids to respect other people, and look actions of other people instead of any external characteristics.

With that in mind, even I (for the first time) got seriously concerned when a Middleterrenian-looking man entered the store I was in. There I was disgusted at that thought, but still immediately evaluating my exit options....just in case.

They succeeded in making us look twice, think twice, and just be extra cautious about our life.

Showing our human side to people who only want us dead, is not going to fix this globally spreading problem!

We are only going to win when we approach this fight from the position of power. We should also encourage and support the good people to speak up against this evil.

WEAK IS BAD

2014-04-26T09:10:00.001-09:30

Why is Tori Spelling putting her difficult life on the show for the whole country to see? I watched a little bit and it was uncomfortable. Kids are being kids, Tori is stressed and holding back tears, while looking incredibly skinny. Then she mulls over her husband infidelity and how bad her life is.

Yes, she is a single mother and that by itself is hard.   BUT, she does not work, she lives in a great house, she is able to have some adult time with her friend without kids running around.....
If we concentrate on the BAD in our life, the GOOD in our life shrinks.

Tori is putting her weakness on the show instead of showing her kids that mom is strong. What would that teach her kids? No question Tori was dealt a tough hand and she probably was not equipped to handle that. But as a mother she has to make sure that her kids will have easier lives or, at least, would be able to handle what life throws at them.

On a personal note, I have very limited sympathy to weak adults.    As parents it is our job to make sure that our kids are strong enough to handle the life.

The fall of CNN

2014-04-24T10:11:00.002-09:30

I think it is very sad to watch what has happened to CNN. They used to be the authority on news. And no ....."Breaking now....the plane is still not found." They mull over and over the same lack of information without real news.

While the mystery of the missing Flight 370 is absolutely mind-boggling, CNN's approach does not foster interest in it. On the contrary, after listening to CNN for about 5 min, I realize that the plane is still not found and I move to other news stations to find out what else has happened in the world.

The food we eat

2014-04-24T09:56:00.001-09:30

Recently, I wanted to show my kids how important it is to drink water.   Since we just came home from a grocery store, I took an apple out of the bag and left it out on windowsill, with full confidence that in couple of days the apple will be shriveled and wrinkled.    This happened about 4 weeks ago and the apple still looks great!     There are no wrinkles and it is still firm!

This made me think about how deeply altered is the food that we are eating.    What kind of chemicals are in this Red Delicious apple that made it keep for 4 weeks without refrigeration?!    This is the food that we eat!

Sometime ago a pediatrician told me that she noticed tremendous increase in patients with food allergies.     Looking at this apple, I understand why!

2014-04-24T09:41:00.000-09:30

With Mother's Day approaching a lot of us are on the hunt for a great gift.    I found a wonderful company called Heart On Your Wrist.     They sell stamped and engraved jewelry.   Their products have solid quality that elevates them above their competition.   http://bit.ly/1hqm4xh
The online ordering is very easy and the customer service phone representatives treat you as if they are from your neighborhood store.    Your order will arrive in a nice pouch ready for giving.

I know where I am shopping for this Mother's Day!   Do you?

My School Rant

2013-11-17T05:41:00.000-09:30

I have recently been exposed to school system and just have couple of thoughts I would like to share.

When and why did the school system become so powerful? In some cases even more powerful than parents? When did following rules took priority over human compassion and understanding? When did being teacher became equivalent of searching out negatives, instead of stressing the positives? Did we forget that smiling children is a good thing? Schools write schedule with complete disregard to schedules of working parents. But who pays the school tuition? It’s the working parents! This does not make sense to me!

Some of the homework that my kindergardener brings home is directed more for me than for him. Are the teachers making sure that the parents get accustomed to following school rules? I find that my child is not taught to READ, but rather to remember what the words look like. That’s not reading! Is the point of this to make sure that child will rely on spell check when he grows up?!

However, if we (the parents) pay the money for the school, does not that make me a customer in a sense and the school administration has to provide me with a service, i.e. education of my children? If that’s the case, why do I feel like the school is doing me a favor?

I guess it is pretty clear and I am not very happy with my kids’ current school. The principal of the current school told me that next year, my oldest one will get an after school detention should we be late for school. She said that fully knowing that we live about 50 miles away from the school and the morning commute does not always allow you to be punctual. She said that knowing that punishment like that will make my child’s life harder…..as if we live within walking distance and he is old enough to be responsible for himself. Needless to say, I took a very strong exception to this!

I AM going to find a school where fostering child’s positive development, human compassion and understanding are not forgotten values!

Lessons of motherhood

2013-05-23T19:25:00.001-09:30

I write this blog to share a few AHA! moments I recently had involving motherhood.

1. I cannot and should not fight my kids battles.

I am one of those over-protective mothers. Be it an unkind glance of a stranger or a mean kid in school, my instinct is to shelter and protect my children from everything and everybody. I am realizing that my job is not to fight their battles, but teach them to navigate the rough waters of life.    This is not always easy. However, seeing the amazing people my kids are becoming, makes this effort is undoubtedly worth it.

2. To be a good mother, I must take care of myself.

Women must realize that it is not selfish to take care of yourself. This is even more true when your kids looking up to you. Whether it is working out, or buying a new outfit, getting those sexy heels or buying that piece of jewelry you have been eyeing....   We should do this for ourselves. Once we feel better about ourselves, we get a little happier, which helps us fight the stress and, not importantly, this helps us be better mothers.     At the end of the day, it is our children that benefit from this. They are worth the effort.

It is getting late and I am going to stop. Stay tuned!   I have a feeling there will be more on the subject.

Lessons of Newtown

2012-12-23T03:54:00.000-09:30

The Newtown tragedy ripped through our hearts in a way similar to the September 11, 2001, did. Both horrific events robbed us of the innocence and sense of security.   Both reinforced in us a simple truth that unimaginable evil exists, and sometimes walks the same streets that we do. The truth that another day with our loved ones is not a guarantee, but a gift to be treasured.   Too often we overlook this gift, bogged down by inconsequential, little everyday problems.
A very important question arises out of the horror tragedies like these bring: How do we react?   I believe that we must take off the rose glasses and look at this new, emerging, and sometimes horrifying look. The NRA spokesperson, when reacting to the Newtown horrific shooting said something to the effect of "The best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." I have to agree!      If there was an armed guard at the Newtown school things might have been different.   Of course that is not the only way to protect our most precious gifts: our children.    There is a myriad of other improvements to schools that can be done. The point that they must be done. We can no longer afford to do nothing.    However banning this particular monster's choice of weapons is not the answer.    I heard the comment that our forefathers did not have the semi-automatic weapons. This argument is silly because the society is not stationary. The progress is a constant and our forefathers, being innovators themselves would have expected anything else from us. After all, we are not moving back to 1776.
Also, when the kids nowadays growing up not being able too deal with reality, problems are bound to happen.   When I was in school we would get into fights, but there rules, and there was no viciousness the news tell us way too often about. There was a clear line that nobody crossed. There was a clear difference between human life and movies.
I was surprised to hear that the video game favored by the Newtown monster went dark for some time.   It was not their fault! They did not destroy those bright kids!
Without getting too political, there is something else we can all do everyday. Let us value every moment with our loved ones.   Let us teach our children and ourself the value of human life. Let's appreciate effect of our actions on others. Let's take responsibility for your actions and teach our children to do that!

May peace and love be in your hearts!

Thinking about Newtown

2012-12-15T20:49:00.000-09:30

Tonight I hugged my kids for the 100th time, realizing more than ever how fragile this blessing is. There are too many parents who will never be able to do this! I am crying just writing about this...
However, I cannot help but wonder if this could have been prevented. The level of disregard to human life, lack of empathy, selfishness, and pure evil that was brought to life in Newtown, CT exceeds all words. There must have been some kind of signs he demonstrated before that day. There is so much that must be wrong with a person for him to execute innocent children! I don't believe that he was such a great actor that he masterfully covered up the pure evil that he was.
I don't think that gun laws have anything to do with this. What is to blame is that we have gotten so self-absorbed that we became detached from reality. There is such push to protect our children from ANY disappointments that kids are growing up not being able to deal with them. When everybody wins in a competition, when we sanction a specific language because it might offend somebody, we end up with kids who are self-entitled, not able to deal with disappointments or with somebody not liking them. The number of communities where this is true is growing.
I cannot imagine the pain the Newtown families are going through! My heart goes out to them! I hope that they will eventually be able move on with their life and regain some degree of normalcy. Only some degree because their lives will never be the same.
I wish I was able to somehow absorb my kids in me to keep them safe from the evil that's out there!
So, let's all pay more attention to each other, and be sure teach our kids right!

Merry Christmas! Yeah, that's right!

2012-12-03T18:04:00.002-09:30

Why all if a sudden word "Christmas" became so offensive? Why is it wrong to celebrate one religious holiday and not another? I am not a Christian but see absolutely nothing offensive about a Christmas tree a display of the Nativity Scene, or a "Merry Christmas" greeting. This is a free country after all! That means everybody, Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, and even atheists can practice their beliefs freely and peacefully. However no one group should be allowed to affect rights of others. How can belief in Jesus Christ be offensive? What gives one group right to dictate what the other can do? Are we no longer capable of respecting other opinions and beliefs even when they are different from ours? Opinions and beliefs of minorities should be respected and protected. That should not lead to the majority being deprived of the same rights minorities are enjoying.

My Happy!

2012-11-10T04:13:00.000-09:30

Waking up and seeing your kids' happy smiles is the best way to wake up! This is happiness! This is the life! My oldest told me that he is a super-hero and that he will save me! He has no idea how close is his pretend play to reality. I really feel that my kids are angels. One look at their happy faces and all the troubles in the world melt away! My biggest wish in life that they would be happy and healthy! I hope they feel how much I love them!

Are you happy?

2012-10-15T07:51:00.001-09:30

What is happiness?   Is it buying something you wanted for a long time? Is it hearing "I love you!" from that special someone? Is it your child's hug? Is it getting a promotion?    Happiness can be defined by so many thing by different people!

A lot of times we get too involved into regretting things we don't have, instead if enjoying things we do have.

We all have some pre-conceived idea of how our life should have turned out, how things should have happened.   That is why it is so easy to fall into self-defeating thinking, and even depression when something does not happen the way it should have.    It is very difficult in those moments of disappointments and set backs to step back and realize that life isn't that bad, to hold on to that good that you do have.

I have been trying to utilize this approach for quite some time now. Sometime I fail miserably, but the times when I succeed have helped me remain strong and to support my family when they need me.
Let us make our happiness!

Sweet potato fries

2012-09-29T13:29:00.001-09:30

http://m.instructables.com/i-Sweet-Potato-Fries/?ALLSTEPS
I discovered this easy recepie and absolutely love it. How often does healthy food taste so good?! This is a new staple in my house!

Win or loose

2012-09-29T12:54:00.001-09:30

The other day my oldest son came home telling me about a game that they played in school. He proceeded to tell me that there was one winner but that everybody else were winners too. I was shocked. If that's what the school is teaching them than what is the incentive to win? How does this approach make sense? Are we preparing our kids to be wimps? When they grow up are they going to expect to win regardless of effort they put in? Would they be able to deal with having their feelings hurt?
I was very happy that he shared that little tidbit, and that I was able to explain to him that there is only one winner. I told him that sometimes he will win. That will feel amazing. I also told him that sometimes he will loose. That will feel really bad. I also explained that he should be graceful, no matter what side is he on. Hopefully he will remember.

Easy, healthy, tasty food

2012-09-18T16:35:00.002-09:30

Quick and easy meat dish.
You will need:
- a pack of your preferred meat;
- a big pot;
- water; and
- your favorite spices.
Put the meat in the pot, cover with water and break it up. Stir in your favorite spices and just let the water boil out. You will end up with very tasty and healthy meat. You can mix this meat with salads, potatoes, rice, pasts and anything else you can come up with.
I mix this with veggie pasta and pack it for my kids to take to daycare.

Working mother

2012-09-05T14:29:00.001-09:30

Being a working mother sucks! The constant internal war between love, guilt, obligation, fear, and so many other emotions is haunting. Often there is not enough time in a day to show your children just how much you love them!
I don't work because I love it. I work to pay my bills. Even though I have been with my company for a long time, I do not feel secure at my job because of office politics and backstabbing.   If I could I would stayed home with my kids! I would have loved to be able to do that!
Today I was told that my child should not go to school. That made me face the worst choice. The doctor asked me if I really have to go to work.   Yes, I have to! I absolutely hate that I have to, but it is a fact!     If my job is compromised, my ability to support my family is compromised!
There I was having to choose between what I really want to do, on the most primal level, and what I have to do in a realistic world.
The primal mother instinct commands to keep my little close, especially when they are not well. (There is no safer place for a child to be than next to mom.) The realist in me insisted that I have to work. Of course the primal instinct won.
I hope with every fiber of my being that my kids will never face that choice!

Women

2012-08-22T18:06:00.000-09:30

Women.    Too often women are disregarded, disrespected, and discarded as we are, somehow less important than men. Politicians try to dictate what we can do with our bodies (when we can carry children, the type of birth control we use), religious individuals have convinced the world that it is OK for women to walk behind men, to be covered from head to toe, to stand in a space separate from men who are sitting, to be some kind of kid-producing machines instead of people.
Women bring life to this world. Women have ability to nourish that life like no man ever would. Women should not be treated the same as men. Women should be treated as women.   Men should pull out chairs for us, let us go through a door first, let us sit while they stand, help us lift heavy things, and do all the little things to bring chivalry back.
The abortion debate terrifies me.   Once a woman cannot decide on her own what to do with her own body because some politicians or religious zealots (mostly men) don't approve, where do we draw the line? A society that does not respect women is bound to regress into the Dark Age.

Cross

2012-08-21T15:36:00.000-09:30

The atheist are one of the groups that divide our society. The ground zero cross is an artifact from the ground zero. It is respected and revered for that reason, not as a religious symbol. However, even if this cross is treated as Cristian religious symbol, so what? Christianity is religion of majority in our country. Displaying items of one religion should not be offensive to followers of another. Do these Plaintiffs get sick when the walk by a church?
http://m.cbsnews.com/fullstory.rbml?catid=57494930&feed_id=1&videofeed=null

Women matter

2012-08-20T16:45:00.001-09:30

I am going to add my 2 cents to the abortion debate which appears to have been reignited by the most recent remarks by Congressman Todd Akin.

It is terrifying that somebody voted for such an uneducated person!

The decision to abort belongs only to the woman, even where the conception was consensual. Mr. Akin thinks that there should be "some" punishment for rape, but that the rapist should be punished instead the baby.
What about the true victim of such a crime, the woman?! It sounds like Mr. Akin would punish the woman for being raped by forcing her to carry the product of rape. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, which would become a torture if a woman is forced to carry a child of her rapist.

I do not want to label myself as a feminist or a women rights activist, but I firmly believe that abortions should be allowed. In society where teenage mothers become TV celebrities, the time has come to realize that abortion at times is the humane option. If a woman is not ready to have a child, she should not be forced to do so... for her sake and for the sake of the child.
Who knows, maybe if we do this, there will be less child abuse and no babies found in dumpsters.

Women matter, and they should be respected. Such an intimate decision of whether to have a child or not rests only with the woman, and no one else.

As for Mr. Akin you can tell a lot about a man by the way by he treats women...

http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-rep-todd-akin-no-pregnancy-from-legitimate-rape-20120819,0,7447581.story