Simply VIP Blogs - Relationships

Making friends with the kids in your life

2007-12-05T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

Whether you are a babysitter, a sister, a brother, an auntie or a granddad there’s no escaping the fact that you will have kids relying on you at some point in your life. If your partner is anything like mine it will sometimes appear that you are, in fact, ‘primary care giver’ to a five year old, so you should be well equipped to deal with the finer points of looking after kids.

With kids I find that there’s a threshold of tolerance that’s as absolute and resolute as black and white. In my life I have three kids under 7 that I’m fairly involved with, my nieces and nephews, two boys and a girl. I love them to bits but there comes a point when they seem like aliens to me. They are sweet and cute and adorable but then they do something that is so off the wall naughty that suddenly the age gap widens at warp speed. I’m sure it’s different if they are your own, it certainly seems to be that behaviour that would drive me up the wall, like snot on a favourite jumper or paint everywhere but on the paper, leaves Mum unfazed. I guess it’s that love/hate relationship that you can only have with your family. My not-so-little brother was unlucky enough to be born 6 years after me and my sister. The age gap spawned a vastly superior knowledge that kids acquire when they are significantly older than their sibling, more adept in the art of bargaining, sharing, arguing and the art of ‘parent management’ – basic family politics. My little brother quickly earned the nickname of ‘golden boy’ and his bad boy behaviour was rewarded by him being kitted out in the contents of our dressing up box in the manner of Danny Le Rue. He retaliated by chopping all the hair off our Barbie collection. We have the pictures to prove it and although we now enjoy a more mature relationship we still take a sick delight in juvenile pranks. But he is not to be felt sorry for as he still has an arsenal of childhood stories, pics of fashion (and boyfriend) disasters and is still capable of winning a seriously mean playfight.

Fast forward to today and I see the same behaviour mirrored in my nieces and nephews. Again, three children filling the classic roles of oldest sensitive one, middle confident one and youngest doted upon one and although it all seems so familiar it’s fitting into this scenario as an adult that’s the tricky bit. I know the rules but I am no longer a child, so how do I fit in? Do I take over the mother role? The funky Aunt role? The strict teacher role? I want to be their friend but still have the credibility to tick them off when they’re misbehaving.

They reach for my hand when crossing the road assuming that I’ll get them to the other side safely yet question every pearl of wisdom I generously impart as if I was trying to trick them. They look to me adoringly for fun yet push me further than their parents. They are so innocent yet tell bare faced lies to get their own way and don’t even get me started on when they are over tired. So how do we go forward? I guess the same way parents do, trial and error.

Living together: how to make a smooth move

2007-07-11T10:34:01.0000000+00:00

Fed up of lugging an overnight bag with you every day? Tired of playing house at your partner’s flat, then returning to yours to find your plants are dead and the milk’s gone off? There comes a time when living together suddenly makes sense. But how can you be sure that cohabiting is the best move for you? Follow our tips to living in harmony…

Have ‘The Talk’
If you and your partner are considering moving in together, it’s vital that you talk it over. You must ask questions like, “Where are we going? What does living together mean? Is it a way of saving money or a prelude to marriage? Or is it an opportunity to practise playing house before we decide if we have a long-term future? Sounding out your partner helps you see if you share the same vision and gives you a chance to measure each other’s expectations.

Lay the ground rules
If you’ve been dating a while, you know the issues that could cause conflict once you live together. Maybe he’s messy and you’re anal about tidiness; you’re a social butterfly and he’s a homeboy; or he loves his kip and you’re an insomniac. Whatever your quirks, decide how to compromise. Perhaps you could agree to have one mates’ night out a week, divide housework between the two of you, or read in another room if you’re unable to sleep.

Love him; love his junk
When moving day comes around, you’ll be combining two households, each with their share of junk and treasure. Unfortunately, your junk may be your partner’s treasure and vice versa. It’s hard to be diplomatic about what stays and what goes but do your best not to be pushy. If it works out, you can gently wheedle out any offending furniture and ornaments over time.

Exercise diplomacy
Chances are you’ve been wearing rose tinted specs when you’ve been a guest in your partner’s home. But when you’re a co-resident, you suddenly see the faults of your new abode and your partner’s lifestyle. If you've never complained about leftover pizza boxes, furry fridge dwellers and questionable bathroom hygiene, your partner might be offended when you begin. Tread carefully with tactful suggestions rather than laying down the law.

Make your mark… subtly
A spot of redecoration can be refreshing, marking a new start for both of you when you decide to share a home. Try to reach joint decisions on the style of décor you’d like to go for and any furniture you need. Being able to reach an agreement on the look and feel of your home bodes well for the future.

Take time out
One of the biggest challenges of living with someone is that they see you 24/7 – including first thing in the morning when most of us resemble barely evolved primates. To maintain a little mystery and keep romance alive, it’s important to give each other space and privacy. Time to do the things that are best kept out of your partner’s eye line: Tweezing, flossing, nail clipping, bottom scratching, nose blowing and ear cleaning to name a few.

Continue to date
As tempting as it is to spend all your time together either in bed or slobbing around watching DVDs, it’s important to make an effort to date your partner. Don’t deny yourselves the excitement of putting on your glamorous togs and going out together, which is crucial when it comes to keeping the spark of sexual attraction well and truly ignited. Try to come up with imaginative ideas of things you can do together, other than lounging around the house.

Keep things spicy
Believe it or not, making a habit of wandering around the house in your birthday suit will not be a turn on for your partner. In fact, nothing is more likely to burst the bubble of sexual desire than a loved one who puts it ‘in your face’ every moment you’re together. Whether you’re at your most comfortable when nude, or your lack of clothing is an offer of sex on tap, seeing you regularly starkers won’t do much for your sizzle factor.

Helpful sites:
http://www.handbag.com
http://www.ivillage.co.uk
http://www.bbc.co.uk
http://uk.askmen.com
http://money.guardian.co.uk

When two become one

2007-07-11T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

You hate his boxers on the floor. He hates your toiletries clogging up the bathroom. When your stuff fights for space under one roof, it’s love or war.

If you can laugh off your differences, it might be time to bite the bullet and move in permanently – albeit with a few ground rules. But if your partner’s quirks are like nails dragging on a chalkboard, it could be game over.

Living together isn’t easy, but while the numbers of people marrying is in decline, cohabiting is gaining popularity. One in ten men and women are giving it a shot, uniting chick-lit and cushions with X-Box and beers.

So what are their motives? Is living together a halfway house to marriage, or a ‘non-marriage of convenience’, which saves time, money and imagination once invested in dating – and offers perks like sex on tap.

There’s also the question of maths. With property priced out of many single first time buyers’ league, joining forces makes financial sense. And, with weddings costing around £17k, many couples prefer to live together without marrying rather than spend a truckload of cash on a Big Day.

The downside is that, on average, couples that live together only last two years and a measly four per cent of them reach the ten-year mark. The odds are stacked against living together developing into a lifelong commitment.

So, who has got it right? Is it better to live a safe and independent life in your own home; live ‘in sin’ with your partner; or hold off from moving in with your special someone until you have a ring on your finger?

Staying in touch

2007-06-13T09:43:18.0000000+00:00

With Fathers Day almost here, lots of grown-up kids will be thinking about getting in touch with a dad that has become distant after they flew the family nest. Today it seems all too easy to let relationships with parents, siblings, school friends and old work mates dwindle. But there are ways to wedge yourself back into their lives and re-build lost intimacy. Here’s a few ideas…

1. It’s good to talk!
Staying in touch with family and friends isn’t rocket science, but it does involve a little time and effort. Now this isn’t an advert for a well-known phone company, but the best way to maintain closeness is to pick up the phone and call whenever you can. Don’t think you need to set aside oodles of time – just a quick 5-minute call can get you caught up with a pal and let her know you are thinking of her. Leaving it too long can create barriers, which become a permanent obstacle to intimacy and friendship. And being on the other side of the world is no longer a barrier, as you can talk for free by using Skype.

2. Don’t forget snail mail
Every so often, surprise a distant loved one with a letter. It's fun to get mail and letters can be a great way to let people know what's going on in your life. You can also say things that are harder to say on the phone – like how much you love or miss them. You can send CDs of photographs or DVDs of film footage from events they’ve missed – they’ll love a chance to see, rather than just hear about, what you’ve been up to.

3. An email a day…
While it’s less personal than a phone call and not as touching as a letter, email gives everyone – from cyber-savvy kids to silver-surfer grandparents – an easy way to stay in daily contact. And for those that want a real-time chat, there’s instant messaging, which allows you to have a text-based conversation with anyone on your contact list who’s online when you are. For parents who have to leave for work before their kids are up and don’t return until they’re in bed, it’s a great way to keep in touch. And you can send cards by email too – for free. Try www.hallmark.com where they have a range of free e-cards.

4. Create your own community
To take even more advantage of the Internet, how about signing up as a member of a community website like Facebook and encouraging people you know to do the same? You can upload photos to your page, as well as sharing links and videos. So, if a mate can’t make a get-together, there’s no reason for them to miss the gossip. Alternatively, set up an email group – with Google or Yahoo – for you and your friends or family. Use it to catch up on events, send out birthday reminders and plan holidays.

5. Throw a party
Don’t wait for a wedding or a funeral to bring people together; organize a reunion of your family or a group of school friends – or persuade one of them to do it for you! You can find old friends through sites like Friends Reunited. As far as the party goes, do it as cheaply or as lavishly as you like. But if you can agree on a budget and split the cost, a hired venue and caterers help reduce the stress factor. If you’re nervous about people mingling, plan some party games to break the ice. Go to www.partygames.com for a few ideas. And don’t forget to play a starring role in the snaps you take.

We would love to hear from you about great ways to bring friends and families together.

Helpful sites:
www.facebook.com
www.groups.google.com
www.groups.yahoo.com
www.family-reunion.com
www.friendsreunited.com

Day of the dad

2007-06-13T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

As Fathers Day looms, the shops are full of “classic dad” merchandise – ties, aftershave, gadgets and golf novelties – as shop owners try and drum up support for this relatively new gifting occasion.

But research by Mintel shows that Fathers Day is still not on everyone’s radar: While Mothers Day is the third biggest gift buying event after birthdays and Christmas, with 49% of adults splashing out on mum, only 22% buy something for dad on Father’s Day.

For many, scrawling our name on a dad-bashing card and handing over a bottle of Old Spice is all the effort we can muster. So why do dads get such a raw deal? Do we find it hard to express our emotions to them? Or are we sceptical about the commercial flavour of the day?

While Mothers Day clings to dignity through its link with a religious day – Mothering Sunday – and its ownership of soppy symbols like hearts and flowers, Fathers Day is a less sentimental 20th century invention. For instance, this year kids might “say it with Xbox 360 Forza Motorsport 2”.

But if we’re lucky enough to have a dad who’s our “rock” – lending us a hanky for tears and a strong arm for cuddles – doesn’t he deserve to hear the words “Thank you” and “I love you” just as much as mum?

It strikes me that we could do a lot to help Fathers Day shake off its image as the poor relation to Mothers Day. If we don’t want to feed the moneymaking machine, perhaps we could use the day to say something from the heart, or simply spend some quality time with dad? How do you make your dad feel special?

SimplyCity Tip: If you have forgotten the last post you can send cards by email too – for free. Try www.hallmark.com where they have a range of free e-cards.

Flirting master class

2007-05-09T08:11:16.0000000+00:00

Flirting is fun! And not just for singles either. If you’re flirting to attract a new lover or to keep an existing relationship sizzling, the rules are much the same. Start with some sexy eye contact, hook ’m and reel ’m in! And while you’re staring into your amour’s eyes, you can find out if the feeling of attraction is mutual. If they desire you, their pupils will dilate.

You may think you’re not a natural flirt but somewhere inside you is a passionate creature with an irresistible allure. Here are some tips on how to unleash those powers of seduction. Roarrr!

1. Repeat after me: I am a goddess!
The first step to successful flirting is to work on your self-esteem. To be a world class flirt you need bags of confidence. You must believe that you can bewitch anyone you desire and make them want to get to know you.

2. Anchor your confidence
If you’re naturally self-effacing, being confident takes work. The ‘anchor exercise’ may help. Start by remembering a moment when you oozed confidence. Now picture a situation where you'd like to be ballsy and focus on letting confidence grow and flow through your body. Then think of a physical 'anchor' like pinching your thigh and, just as you feel you’re bursting with confidence, do it. With practise, you’ll be able to trigger confidence at any time with a simple pinch!

3. Stop, look and listen
No, I’m not talking about getting a grip on your green cross code. I’m referring to the basic rules of attraction. In any flirting situation, you must be alert. Stop to single out a target or to decide on the best time to make your approach. Then, use your first artillery – your eyes – to fire them an irresistible smouldering look. Tease with follow-up glances that leave him/her in no doubt as to your interest. Listen to your heart and instinct. The last thing your confidence needs is a knock-back, so make sure that your lingering looks are returned before making a move.

4. Smile, smile, smile
So you’ve made the first eye contact, which says: “I like the look of you!” The next step is to employ the universal language of flirting: the smile. Wherever you are, if someone catches your eye, flash a megawatt smile. You never know what might happen! But a smile should not be reserved for new love interests. If you have a partner, wipe off your look of preoccupation and replace it with your best seductive smile to remind them how lucky they are!

5. Think naughty thoughts
After the smile it’s time to decide whether or not to go the extra mile. To overcome nerves, think playful thoughts as you’re gearing up to take your flirt to the next level. Think about how you’d like to approach a new lover, or reinvent yourself for your partner. Work out role-plays that you’d love to act out if you had no inhibitions. This will get you in the mood for risk taking and you’ll be as ready as ever to “go in for the kill”.

6. Be a smooth operator
There’s no avoiding it, you’ll have to open your mouth at some point and utter your first make-or-break sentence. Unless you are a gifted comedian, a stand-up routine is not necessary. And steer clear of cheesy one-liners or humour that rests on sarcasm. Instead, focus on being warm and friendly. Show some interest in them by asking questions. And make sure you compliment their clothes, eyes, smile or sense of humour.

7. Let your body talk
All the while you’re chatting, keep your body language open and inviting. Make eye contact, lightly touch the person's hand or arm when telling a story and toss your head back when you laugh. Relax your body and make sure that you don’t create a barrier by crossing your arms.

8. Give a little
While mystery is always good, especially in a new relationship, it’s important to tantalise the object of your affection with a little bit of information about yourself. Beware of sounding self-obsessed – it’s not all about “Me, me, me!” – but open up about yourself just enough to give them a reason to like you and want to learn more about you.

9. Read the signs
In the midst of a good flirt, it’s important to step back and analyse how it’s going. Gauge the person's interest carefully and, if you sense a flashing red light, make your exit graciously, without wasting any further time.

10. Boldly go…
If you decide that everything is going just peachy, keep on flirting, paying attention to their cues. And, when you feel certain you’ve established a sensual or sexual connection, it’s time to close the deal. Make a bold move and ask for a date.

Helpful sites
http://www.bbc.co.uk
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships
http://www.tiscali.co.uk
http://uk.askmen.com
http://www.sirc.org
http://www.cilip.org.uk

Is it luv actually?

2007-05-09T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

Are you a cyber-flirt, addicted to sending steamy texts to your other half? Or do you practise a subtler art of seduction, starting with coquettish eye contact, moving on to conversation and more?

While text has a role to play in spicing up a relationship and setting up a volley of linguistic foreplay, it’s a worrying thought that it may be replacing good old fashioned romance and flirting.

A survey last week said that millions of women talk to their partner for only ten minutes a day. Text is the most popular form of communication, followed by post-it notes and emails. And four in ten women said that lack of one-to-one contact puts a strain on their relationships.

I should cocoa! It’s difficult to show the “look of love” by post-it, or murmur “sweet nothings” by text, so how do we expect to love and feel loved without talking – whether through words, eye-contact or body-language? It’s not easy but they don’t call them conquests for nothing!

Throughout history, romance thrived on chance encounters, furtive glances and flirty conversation. But, with text as the main form of communication, wouldn’t the greatest love stories of all time be shorter by a few chapters?

Imagine if Napoleon Bonaparte’s love letters to Josephine were written by text? Sentences like “Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire,” might have made way for “C u soon hot stuff. Can’t w8!! Luv N X”.

So how can we use technology alongside tried and tested love tactics – so that it complements rather than replaces them? Can we make the time and put in the effort to have a healthy love life, as well as an active text life?

Show some love

2007-04-11T08:55:02.0000000+00:00

Nothing gives a relationship more of a boost than a spontaneous show of affection. Whether you treat your partner to a surprise gift or an un-conditional massage, they’ll be touched and amazed by your generosity. And you’ll get to bask in the glow from your halo, enjoying the feel-good vibe of doing something nice with no strings attached.

So, if your relationship’s stuck in a rut, why not treat your partner to a trip to Cloud Nine? Here are a few tips on how to tickle their fancy…

1. Feed your love
One route to your partner’s heart is through their stomach. If you can’t afford to wine and dine them, a home cooked meal will show them you care. Choose simple dishes that you can pull off and pay attention to detail. Crisp linen, candles and flowers on the table will make your dining experience as polished as you’ll find in any Michelin-starred restaurant. Or, if you’re too flustered to play chef, fish & chips and a bottle of champagne will be a lovely romantic surprise.

2. Make something
It’s not just homemade tucker that will impress your other half but any other creation by your own fair hands. The best cards and presents are those that are made with love. So, if you’re naturally crafty, make cards from scratch and put some well-chosen words inside. Or, if you’re deft at woodwork, knitting, sewing or painting – a handmade gift will say much more than something shop-bought.

3. Break the mould
If you are going to splash the cash on a pressie, don’t follow the herd and save your offerings for a birthday or Valentine’s Day. Instead, take the initiative and buy surprise gifts on very un-special days throughout the year. Your partner’s favourite magazine, a cheeky bottle of red, or a DVD of a movie they love, are sure-fire ways to see their face brighten with a jaw-breaking smile.

4. Organise a date
Romance is not all about gifts. Remember dating? If you’re in a relationship, you can forget the thrill of being asked out, getting dolled up and the anticipation of meeting up with someone. If you want to rediscover the excitement, take time out to think of fun things to do with your partner, then ask them on a date. Say you’ve got something planned, where to meet, what to wear and then hit them with your master plan when they arrive. They’ll love the mystery!

5. Think of their heart’s desire
The last thing to remember is that everything in your partner’s life shouldn’t focus on you. If you really want to show your love, acknowledge this by giving them time to indulge pleasures that don’t involve you. If going to the races or a footy match with their mates was something they enjoyed in their singledom, buy them a ticket and send them packing. When they come back like a little bubble of excitement bursting to tell their tales, they really will love you forever!

Helpful sites:
Jamie’s Dinners: A Romantic meal for two
Hobbycraft: Cardmaking and scrapbooking
BBC.co.uk: 70 romantic ways to have fun
Buyagift.co.uk
Craftzine.com – crafty projects that make great gifts

Romance rocks both ways

2007-04-11T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

Research from insurer Hiscox shows that nearly two thirds of married men spent three months' salary on an engagement ring for their bride – and a further 11 per cent spent more.

Based on the average monthly wage in the UK, which in 2006 was almost £2,000, lots of amorous chaps are kissing goodbye to £6,000. That’s got to hurt! But, as all men know, there’s no gain without pain. And, where romance is concerned, it’s often a stabbing sensation in the wallet.

“The rock” is part of a stream of love tokens expected during a relationship. Flowers, jewellery, cuddly toys – there are umpteen ways men can show that they care.

But what do the blokes get: Bling to make their heart sing; a candlelit meal for two; an all-expenses paid mini-break? Not likely to cost £6000 though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I reckon women tend to say thanks with a kiss and a cuddle.

Is this concept of romance a relic from the medieval age, when men were knights and women were fair ladies to be treated with respect? Holding a door open for a lady, or putting her coat on, may be as dead as a dodo, but lavish gifts are one way that men have continued to show their reverence. And our consumerist society is happy to encourage this tradition to prosper.

But is it time we tiptoed one step further towards equality and dared to admit that romance is not only for us ladies? Is chivalry in the noughties not just for the knights of this realm?

Good neighbours, good friends?

2007-04-02T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

I’m flabbergasted that nearly 90 per cent of people in the UK say they have a good relationship with their next-door neighbours.

Research by the National Association of Estate Agents paints a rosy picture, which jars with stories about “neighbours from hell”. Only last year, during Noise Action Week, half a million people said they had moved home in the last 12 months because of noisy neighbours.

So, have things really improved that much? Apparently they have: Just five per cent of people reckon their relationship with their neighbours is ‘not good’ and only six per cent don’t know their neighbours at all.

If this is true, I must be hard done by. I’ve barely had a ‘hello’, let alone a cup of sugar, from people living nearby. Instead, I’ve received little presents like cockroaches crawling up from the flat below and fridges dumped in my front garden…but then, have I done my part, I ask?

That’s cities for you. Communities are more like Albert Square than Ramsay Street and there’s a distinct absence of people popping round with a casserole when you’re sick! Perhaps country living brings more of a sense of belonging?

So, if you’re feeling unloved by your neighbours, what can you do to improve relations? The National Association of Estate Agents recommends starting with a nice gesture like inviting neighbours round for dinner.

Is this wise? Neighbour or not, these people are nearby strangers, so is it a good idea to invite them into your home? But, here’s the dilemma. Trust is the cornerstone of friendship – without it; can neighbours ever become good friends?

Valentine veterans

2007-03-29T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

Forget watching re-runs of Sex And the City; if you want to learn the secret of lasting love, take a look at the golden oldies. What a great example they can be to all of us either looking for or currently in love.

For instance, take my friend’s grandparents, their simple ‘love potion’ was to make time for a little romance every day. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But it’s that easy if you make the time for the things that matter most. Little things such as always showing one another courtesy, remembering to hold hands and resolving any misunderstandings before bedtime. Her grandparents were friends from aged ten, married for 63-years and even when they passed away had their ashes scattered together on Valentine’s day! That’s love.

So before you dash out for edible underwear, chocolates and cards to express your innermost feelings, ask yourself whether you’ve got the basics right. Could we learn something from the old-timers?

Trust me, it’s good for your health

2007-03-26T00:00:00.0000000+00:00

Ever been in a relationship with someone you can’t trust? If you have, did you suffer from more stomach bugs, coughs and sniffles than normal?

A new study claims that feeling insecure in a relationship takes its toll on the immune system. Blood taken from women who struggled to trust in relationships showed less active ‘natural killer’ cells that fight viruses.

But we don’t need science to point out the obvious. Who hasn’t got the collywobbles when a boyfriend called to say he’s working late? And who hasn’t felt sick when he didn’t call for days?

When you know you’re in a wonky relationship, you ooze stress. And it affects everything – your sleep, eating habits (bring on the donuts!) and lifestyle (why should I go to the gym if he doesn’t even care?).

But what I’d like to know is: are there really women who are programmed to ‘not trust’? Or are there are just a lot of cads out there?

Internet dating

2007-03-01T18:03:50.0000000+00:00

If you’ve kissed your share of frogs and haven’t found your Prince, you might be interested in taking your search online. Internet dating allows you to chat by email before committing to a date, meet people for harmless flirtation, or get enough dates in your diary to have a free meal every night. But there are pitfalls – like candidates for dates who are creative with the truth about their age, occupation or appearance (thanks to an airbrush!). Here’s how to navigate the minefield:

1. Choose the right website
The first step is to shop around for a website that will attract the right people. Match.com (www.match.com) has over 15 million members and claims responsibility for 250,000 marriages a year. Mysinglefriend.com (www.mysinglefriend.com) is ideal if you’re rubbish at blowing your own trumpet – you can ask a friend to write your profile.

2. Create an honest profile
When you’ve found a site that’s populated with like-minded people, you’ll need to register and write a profile about you. There’s no point in saying you’re a pert blonde with a pneumatic bosom unless you are. When you pitch up for your date looking like a booby prize, you’ll be vetoed. Honesty is the best policy, so make your profile punchy but truthful.

3. Screen potential dates
Once your profile attracts some interest, don’t rush in to any dates. Banter costs nothing, so get to know your date by email before committing to a date. You’ll soon sniff out a humour bypass, commitment phobia, or disinterest in earning a crust. Don’t be afraid to sever contact the minute you get a whiff of rat-like tendencies.

4. Exchange recent photos
Whoever said looks don’t matter, they’re wrong. It’s important that you exchange pictures with anyone that asks for a date. And resist the temptation to send a freakishly flattering snap from the summer of ’89! You’ll be none too pleased if your date does the same – and you find yourself having dinner with a pensioner!

5. Protect your privacy
So you’ve got someone interested in you and the great news is they look like Brad Pitt and write with the wit of Stephen Fry. Don’t get too excited – even psychos can be charming. Keep your guard up and make sure you can disappear if communications go sour. Set up a separate email for dating repartee and never give out your home or work number.

6. Play it safe on the first date
With all the groundwork done, you’re ready to get yourself out there! So get dolled up and head off on a date. But remember, safety comes first. Meet in a public place and make sure someone knows where you are and who you’re with. Never leave your drink unattended and, no matter how well it goes, make your own way home. Don’t let them come with you!

Now you’ve made it this far, let you’re natural charm take over. We don’t want to be preaching to you how to act on your date, we just hope we have helped snag one you will enjoy! Good Luck!

Further reading:
1. BBC news story
2. BBC news story
3. Guardian news story
4. Urbansocial.com profile writing tips
5. Online Dating for Dummies