SimplyLove Tambayan

Radio ni Cast

2010-11-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

Online dating: Finally meeting in person

2010-11-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

You met online, and now you are ready to meet in person. Try these tips to make your first date successful.

First date preparation

Tony DeRosso of OnlineDatingMatches.com offers the following tips:

Dress to impress.

If you haven’t dated in a while, buy yourself some new clothes before you go out on your first date. Your confidence level will rise accordingly.

Leave something to talk about.

When talking to someone you meet online, don’t spend hours upon hours talking on the phone or via instant messaging. Save some discovery for the actual first date, lest you run out of new things to talk about.

Flattery might get you somewhere.

Compliments are nice; too many compliments is pandering.

You should be nervous.

First-date jitters are completely normal -- don’t take it as a bad thing. If you have fifth-date jitters, though, something might be amiss.

Don’t string him along.

If you go out on a blind date or meet someone on the Internet and it just isn’t working for you, do the honorable thing and tell him or her as soon as possible.

Want to be special? Make him special!

2010-11-18T08:34:00.000-08:00

How To Make Him Feel Special

If you want to be special to him -- and if you want your relationship to be special -- then treat him just like you want to be treated. Read on for a few easy tips to making him feel loved, wanted and appreciated.

How do you make him feel?

You breeze into the living room, where your husband sits, waiting. He says, "You look beautiful." You smile.
On the drive to the restaurant where you're meeting friends, you fix your lipstick, adjust a curl, think about the evening ahead. Your husband is quiet.
At the restaurant, your husband starts to tell the story of something that happened at work. When he takes a breath, you jump in to tell the rest of the story. After all, you're a much better storyteller than he is.
On the way home, you say of your friend, "The way she glows whenever he says something -- you'd think he was brilliant. He's just an accountant, for Heaven's sake." Your husband mutters, "I wouldn't mind a little glow." You frown, "What's that supposed to mean?" "Nothing" he replies.

Don't take him for granted

"Nothing" is unfortunately exactly what he means. You are treating your guy like nothing. You take his "You look beautiful" for granted, as your due. You give him a "Yes, I know I'm beautiful" smile instead of giving him your thanks, maybe even an "I love looking nice for you" or perhaps a compliment to him in return.
The drive over is private time for the two of you. Time to share something, be it "Oh, what a lovely night. Look at all the stars!" or "Tell me more about what happened with that fussy client today." You can squeeze lipstick fixing in the middle of a mini-conversation, no problem.
Telling the end of his story for him? What is he, three years old? It's his story! Take a cue from your friend, and listen with admiration, respect, or how about plain old interest? Just because you've heard the story five times already doesn't make it something you can ignore. It's meaningful to him, so let it be meaningful to you.
If you want to be special to him, if you want your relationship to be special, wonderful, fireworks-in-the-sky, then make him special. You both deserve it.

Killing him not-so-softly with your silence

2010-11-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

Say No To The
Silent Treatment

The Silent Treatment. Does it work for you? Could there be a better way to deal with conflicts in your relationship? Read on...

Deadly silent

Oh, we gals think we are so clever, so smart! So morally superior, as we respond to something our honey does with The Silent Treatment.
Not for us the yelling and screaming of dysfunctional relationships! Not that. No calling him names. No trashing his family origins or his manhood. Nuh-uh, never. That would be way beneath us. Instead, we zip our impeccably glossed lips. And wait.
Because we know, through our highly developed female senses, and with eons of female wisdom backing us up, that eventually he'll come around. Eventually he'll beg and plead "What did I do?!" "I don't know what I did, but whatever I did, I'm sorry!" which puts us in the catbird seat. We get to lord it over him as we tell him how awful he was to us, and here's how it can make it up.
Which all works very nicely until he's fed up with it, and either becomes inured to our Silent Treatment and amuses himself otherwise until we get over it, or... leaves.

Why the silent treatment doesn't work

Yes, that's right, ladies -- leaves. Maybe not leaves as in "divorce," but certainly "leaves" as in doesn't share his feelings or thoughts with us anymore, spends more time apart from us than with us, doesn't go out of his way to please us.
Why? Because he doesn't feel safe with us anymore. He doesn't know when he might get frozen out without notice. So he stops reaching out. And a warm intimate part of your marriage dies.

The solution?

Easy! Quit pulling the Silent Treatment! Better to say "That hurt!" or "I'm not comfortable when you…" or "I'm confused. What do you mean by…?" Learn good communication skills. And use them. You'll both benefit.

Chatrooms

2010-10-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

Be my Guest

2010-10-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

What Went Wrong? Learning From Your Past Relationships

2010-10-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

by Jennifer Good

You may be broken-hearted and crooning out latest versions of the feel-good girl anthems, but deep down you know there's a silver lining to this relationship ending. In fact if you dig a little deeper, you'll realize that all of your past relationships hold a secret key to finding your true perfect someone.

The road to love, like many things, is a path paved with good intentions. However, if you don't know where you're going or why you're trying to get there, you will probably end up somewhere you don't want to be. (Read: Crying your eyes out over a pint of Ben & Jerry's.) Sometimes a quick check in the rear view mirror can yield insights on what new destinations will be perfect for you. Below is a post-breakup checklist to help you do just that. Use it to aid you in figuring what you really want when it comes to your future relationships.

Go over the details of why your most recent relationship ended. Being honest with yourself, were there habits or patterns of behavior you could have changed that would have made a difference? If there were, write them down in a list of things you need to work on. Now focus on your past partner. Were there things they could have changed that would have made a difference? Write them down in a list under traits to avoid in a future partner or traits to have in a future partner.
List any other contributing factors that may have held your relationship hostage. These could range from money or family issues to school or work factors. These are important to note, because at certain points in your life you may not be equipped mentally to deal with these AND a relationship. It doesn't mean your relationship wasn't strong enough, just the emotionally maturity between the two of you wasn't high enough at that stage in your relationship to cope with the added pressures.
Make it a point to remember all the good times in your relationship -- even if it ended badly. This exercise is important because it helps you put your focus back to the positives of what you want in a new relationship. It also allows you to potentially bridge the gap from lovers to friends.

Now it's time to focus on ALL of your past relationships. Using the above questions, go through each previous relationship and fill in as many details as you can remember. Once you've finished that, simplify it with the additional list below.

Make a list of all the people you have dated or been in a relationship with.
Starting with your most recent relationship, write a list of all the traits, habits or things you disliked about each person.
Now, starting with your most recent relationship, write a list of all the traits, habits or things you liked about each person.
At this point, some type of pattern should be emerging that gives you a more detailed insight into your dream relationship.
From your "likes" list, put together an a description or scene of your ideal relationship and partner. You should have two descriptions, one for the relationship and one for your partner. Sometimes the two traits will blend, but there are still enough distinctions between the two to call for separate descriptions.
Combine your information from the above checklist with the lists you've compiled. Read over everything you've written and discovered. From here, you should feel more self-empowered about finding your future perfect mate. You have all the tools necessary to map out a road plan for love. Anytime you feel that something isn't right or that you aren't where you wanted to be, go back and look at your responses to these questions and see where you may have taken an unknown detour.

by Jennifer Good

Go over the details of why your most recent relationship ended. Being honest with yourself, were there habits or patterns of behavior you could have changed that would have made a difference? If there were, write them down in a list of things you need to work on. Now focus on your past partner. Were there things they could have changed that would have made a difference? Write them down in a list under traits to avoid in a future partner or traits to have in a future partner.
List any other contributing factors that may have held your relationship hostage. These could range from money or family issues to school or work factors. These are important to note, because at certain points in your life you may not be equipped mentally to deal with these AND a relationship. It doesn't mean your relationship wasn't strong enough, just the emotionally maturity between the two of you wasn't high enough at that stage in your relationship to cope with the added pressures.
Make it a point to remember all the good times in your relationship -- even if it ended badly. This exercise is important because it helps you put your focus back to the positives of what you want in a new relationship. It also allows you to potentially bridge the gap from lovers to friends.

Make a list of all the people you have dated or been in a relationship with.
Starting with your most recent relationship, write a list of all the traits, habits or things you disliked about each person.
Now, starting with your most recent relationship, write a list of all the traits, habits or things you liked about each person.
At this point, some type of pattern should be emerging that gives you a more detailed insight into your dream relationship.
From your "likes" list, put together an a description or scene of your ideal relationship and partner. You should have two descriptions, one for the relationship and one for your partner. Sometimes the two traits will blend, but there are still enough distinctions between the two to call for separate descriptions.
Combine your information from the above checklist with the lists you've compiled. Read over everything you've written and discovered. From here, you should feel more self-empowered about finding your future perfect mate. You have all the tools necessary to map out a road plan for love. Anytime you feel that something isn't right or that you aren't where you wanted to be, go back and look at your responses to these questions and see where you may have taken an unknown detour.

It's Not You, It's Me(15 Ways to Regain Your Confidence after Being Dumped)

2010-10-05T03:26:00.000-07:00

You just got out of a relationship, and you're not feeling too good about yourself. Well, this isn't the time to mope around and wallow in self-pity! It’s time to turn over a new leaf and rediscover your self-confidence. With our helpful tips and ideas, you’ll be back on your feet in no time. Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to fit all of our ideas into one day, but don’t be lazy about it either. Breaking up is hard to do, and regaining your confidence after being dumped requires some work on your part. Get on your feet and take one step at a time toward the new and improved you!

Make of List of Things You Love About Yourself
Make a list of 30 (or 31, one for each day of the month) things you love about yourself and post it on your bathroom mirror for a month. Each day, choose one of those things and repeat it to yourself as a positive affirmation throughout the day. Make yourself sticky notes and post them in your car, at your desk, in your wallet, on the fridge, whatever it takes to make you think positive thoughts about yourself. Even if you feel silly doing it, give it a try for a few days so you can see the effects of positive affirmations for yourself.

Exercise
It may be the last thing you feel like doing, but it’s an unarguable fact that exercise releases endorphins in your body that make you happy! If that isn’t enough for you, imagine the glee you will feel walking around with a bangin’ new bod! There’s nothing quite like that feeling you get when you look in the dressing room mirror and feel like a million bucks. You will sleep better at night, reduce the level of cortisol (the female stress hormone), and increase blood flow to your brain – and you're going to need all the brain power you can get to kick start your recovery.

Learn Something New
Try something you have always wanted to do. You will feel energized and excited, two things that aren’t easy to achieve when you are heartbroken. It could be taking a writing class, going bungie jumping, or attending a cake decorating workshop, whatever floats your boat.

Lean on Your Girlfriends
That’s what they are there for. Even if you lost touch during the relationship you had with your ex, which can sometimes happen with unhealthy relationships. Don’t isolate yourself. Let your friends know that you are hurting. Let them drag you out on the town as much as they want. Let them be there for you. If you want someone to spend the night so you don’t cry yourself to sleep or call your ex, then reach out and ask your friends.

Take Care of Yourself
Eat healthy food in between the junk food binging, drink lots of water even if you'd rather have vodka, and rehydrate your swollen eyes with damp chamomile tea bags before looking in the mirror. Pamper yourself with a day at the spa or get a really good massage. Take bubble baths, stretch before you go to bed, give yourself a deep conditioning treatment, and get into a really good book.

Journal
Breaking up is one of the best times to start journaling. That way, when you have a lapse of judgment during a crying fit and can’t remember why you split, you have your own words to remind you. The other advantage is that putting your thoughts down on paper actually allows you to “teach” yourself the lessons to be learned from this experience. Don’t get hung up on what you could’ve done or what you wish you would’ve done differently. Stick to the positives. What have you gained from this relationship and the break-up that you didn’t have before? How have you grown as a person? What relationship skills do you have now that you will be able to use in future relationships?

Do Something Productive with Your Agony
Repaint your apartment, or take out a wall if you want to. Plant a garden, start a “single again” blog, or pick some other project that is sure to get your creative juices flowing and keep you busy.

Make a Getting Over Him Playlist and Listen to it Every Day
Here’s a list to get you started:

Apologize by One Republic and Timbaland
Cares by Travis Tritt
I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
Down to My Last Teardrop by Tanya Tucker
I Didn’t Know My Own Strength by Lorrie Morgan
Through With You by Maroon 5
One Way Ticket by LeAnn Rimes
Better Things to Do by Terri Clark
Big Mistake by Natalie Imbruglia
Party Down by Julie Reeves
RESPECT by Aretha Franklin
I Will Love Again by Lara Favian
Shake it Off by Mariah Carey
Let It Rain by Keri Noble
Over You by Daughtry
Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

Buy Something New
Buy a great outfit that you feel totally sexy in and wear it out. Trade in your car for something really hot if you can afford it. Get a new pet! There’s nothing like a puppy to occupy your time and affection.

Have Physical Contact
One of the things you are sure to miss the most is the physical contact. It’s normal and natural to crave it, so don’t try and cut off the desire, just fill it up another way. Bring your kids or your pets onto the couch to cuddle with you. Call your sibling or your mom over to snuggle with. It may sound silly, but getting a massage can help. Scientists agree that skin to skin contact is very healthy and helps people to feel safe, secure and centered.

Bask in the Sunshine
If at all possible, you should find yourself a great spot to soak up the sun. The vitamin D will help combat any signs of depression. In addition to the health benefits, there is something very nurturing to a woman’s soul about sunbathing. Maybe it’s the gossip magazines and the scent of coconut tanning oil, but whatever it is, it’s good for a broken heart.

Laugh A Lot
It is true that laughter is the best medicine, so surround yourself with witty, entertaining people, watch funny movies, read an Ellen DeGeneres book, or get a comedy CD to listen to while you do things around the house.

Hang Out with Some Guy Friends
Don’t go swearing off men just because one of them broke your heart. Men make good friends, and they are very good at making a woman feel beautiful and sexy, even if you have no interest in each other beyond friendship. They give a good balance to your support network, so keep them around.

Make Yourself an Online Profile
You probably shouldn’t start dating right away, but it’s a fun thing to do anyway. You’ll have to talk about yourself, which is a good way to get in touch with your real self again. You’ll get the attention of other guys, which is a good boost to the ego, and you’ll have something to do when you have trouble sleeping.

What not to do:
Get drunk and call you ex.
Think you can be best friends right after you break up.
Think you can still be “friends” with benefits.
Stalk your ex.

7 Signs It’s Time to End Your Relationship

2010-09-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

by Melissa Chapman

You love him - but maybe more like a brother than a lover. The relationship is comfortable, but it’s also stale and stifling. You start thinking: If I’m going to lonely, wouldn’t it be better to actually be alone? If any of this sounds familiar, it might be time to take action and end your relationship. Here’s some advice.

We’ve all done it, haven’t we?

We’ve languished in a dead-end relationship because, sometimes, status quo is easier than mustering the courage to end it and start fresh.

Breaking up is, as they say, hard to do, especially once you’ve so much invested time and energy into the relationship. Perhaps you enjoy the security that comes along with it, even while knowing deep in your soul that you are not cut out to make it as a couple and that breaking up would be best thing for you.

So what do you do?

According to Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka “Dr. Romance”), psychotherapist and author of The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart, whether you’re married or dating if your relationship feels detrimental to your mental, emotional or physical well-being then it may be time for a change.

“Sometimes all efforts to keep a relationship going [will] fail and the only possible means of achieving happiness is to split up,” says Dr. Tessina. “When is it necessary to take this step? While no one can really answer that question except you and your partner, there are certain indicators that let you know a major change of some kind must be made.”

Dr. Tessina’s 7 warning signs it’s time to end your relationship

1. Your spouse is in denial, makes excuses, blames you and/or is angry at you rather than taking responsibility.
2. You have had it, and no longer feel connected. Be sure this isn’t just temporary anger.
3. You are prepared to be on your own.
4. You either have no children, they’re grown, or you’re certain a divorce will be better for them than what’s going on.
5. He or she doesn’t keep appointments to talk.
6. There are some indications there’s someone else.
7. You fight when you talk.

Weigh your options

If you have one or more of these warning signs but are still on the fence about ending your relationship, Dr. Tessina suggests it might be a good idea to list your reasons to stay versus your reasons to go. This will help you decide if you’re getting enough from the relationship to keep it going. If your reasons to stay are all about guilt, not wanting to hurt the other person, or fear of being alone, you may want to talk to a therapist about them.

If you are finally ready to end your relationship, Dr. Tessina notes that the benefits of breaking up, and getting out of a bad relationship as opposed to letting it drag on, are many and include the two very important effects:

* You both have a new opportunity to create a relationship with someone more compatible
* Be merciful: The other person may be hurt, but letting the relationship languish just hurts them more

The bottom line: If you gave it your best shot and you know it’s over (or if it never really got started), don’t waste time in resentment and anger. Learn to let go.

Natalie 17

2010-09-12T01:19:00.001-07:00

Samantala sa bahay nila colline ay dumating ang hindi inaasahang bisita.Dumating ang ina ni natalie na si mrs. charlotte kasama ang ama ni colline na si mr. baronman.hindi alam ni colline kung paano at ano ang sasabihin sa ginang dahil hindi rin nito alam ang buong ng yari kay natalie. maya maya lamang ay dumating na rin si josephine kasama si roel, dahil sinundo pa nito ang asawa mula sa airport. Halos ng karaon ng reunion sa bahay nila colline ng mga sandaling iyon, pinatuloy muna nito ang ina ni natalie sa master bedroom upang makapag pahinga. samantala ang ama nito ay nag paalam na aalis muna sandali upang mag tungo sa tanggapan ng pulisya upang malaman kung mayrong bagong balita mula sa imbistigasyon sa pag kawala ni natalie. samantala si roel naman ay laki ng galit kay mylene ng mga sandaling iyon, ito na nga ang sinasabing kinakatakutang pag babanta ni mylene. hindi nito lubos maisip na sa haba ng panahong lumipas ay tinuloy parin nito ang masamang balak kay natalie at henry.pinakalma naman ni josephine ang asawa at sinabing walang magagawa ang galit nila bagkos ay ipagdasal na lamang nila ang kaligtasan ng mga kaibigan sa kamay ni mylene. nag balik naman si colline sa sala upang dalhan ng meryenda ang mag asawa, inalok nito ng maiinom ang dalawa at sabay na rin naupo sa katapat na sofa,sinabi nito na sa bahay nalang maghapunan ang dalawa kasalo si mrs, charlotte at mr baronman, pumayag naman ang mag asawa sa nais ni colline.
Kinagiban habang nag sasalo salo ang lahat sa hapunan ng bigla na lamang tumunog ang telepono...nag katinginan ang mga ito at sinabi ni colline na wala siyang inaasahang tawag sa mga oras na iyon, dali daling tumayo si colline at sinagot ang nasabing telepono. habang nag kinakausap naman ni colline ang nasa kabilang linya ay biglang tumayo si josephine at lumapit sa kaibigan dahil nakita nito na mukhang seryoso ang kausap at ng hanap pa ng papel at lapis ang dalaga dahil may kung anung sinulat ito na maaring dinikta mula sa kabilang linya.hmmmmmmm sino kaya ang nasa likod ng misteryosong tawag na iyon?

"Well!! well! well!" habang papalapit si mylene sa kinaroroonan ni natalie at henry."akala nyo ba ganun ako kadali takasan ha! at woww dumating pala ang knight and shining armor mo"sabay tingin nito kay henry."ano bang binabalak mo mylene? ako naman ang kailangan mo diba! pakawalan mo si natalie handa akong sumama saiyo, mag sama tayo lalayo tayo dito, kakalimutan ko lahat ng ginawa mo, pakawalan mo lang si natalie, parang awa mo na." nag mamakaawang sabi ni henry kay mylene habang lumalapit sa dalaga at hawak ang kamay nito."Tse,, ano ako papa loko sa iyo henry ha, see hanggang ngaun kaligtasan pa rin ng impaktang iyan ang nasa isip mo," pag tataray nito sa binata at sabay tulak nito. mag sasalita din sana si natalie sa mga oras na iyon ngunit hinawakan siya ni henry sa kamay, senyales na huwag ng umimik dahil baka saktan siya ng dalaga. tumahimik nalang si natalie dahil sa kagustuhan ni henry, at maya maya ay inutusan ni mylene ang mga tauhan na ibalik sa bodega ang dalawa at tiyakin na hindi na ito makakatakas pa dahil pag nag kataon ay malilintikan talaga sila. pag kapasok sa bodega ay ginapos ng mga armadong kalalakihan ang dalawa, pinaupo sa upuan habang mag katalikod at ginapos ang mga kamay at paa nito. nanlulumo naman si natalie at pakiramdam niya na hindi na matatapos ang kanyang paghihirap sa mga kamay ng nasabing karibal, ito siya kasama ang pinakamamahal na lalake ngunit hindi naman sila malaya,para silang mga bilanggo na oras oras ay binabantayan. mula sa loob ng bodega ay nakabibingi ang katahimikan, katahimikang walang gustong bumasag ng mga sandaling iyon, nais man nilang mag salita ngunit walang namumutawi sa kanilang mga labi..dahil sa sobrang pagod at takot ay nakatulog si natalie at henry.

"hello mylene c xyd to, are you free tonight?"mula sa kabilang linya,"Abah! anung masamang hanging ang nag tulak sayo para tawagan ako? yap hindi ako busy mamayang gabi bakit mo naitanong?"sarkastikong sagot ng dalaga sa kausap."magkita tayo sa coffe shop doon sa dati nating pinupuntahan, mamayang alas otso ng gabi" sagot ni xyd." bigyan mo ako ng magandang dahilan para makipag kita sa iyo matapos mong tumanggi at umayaw sa mga plano ko?" saad naman ni mylene na tumataas na ang kilay sa kausap sa telepono.nag bigay naman ng dahilan si xydric dahilan kung bakit napapayag nito ang dalaga na muling makipag kita sa kanya.

My Blog Contents

2010-09-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

Comparing men to pieces of bread when out in broad daylight

2010-09-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

Men Are Toast
Brie Gatchalian

I recently went out with a group of girlfriends for a girls night out. We started off the evening with dinner, then to be followed by drinks. What resulted: Mayhem. Regardless of the disastrous night (of girls arguing over who said what), one good thing came out of it: The realization that men can be compared to toast. We started the night off at a bar. We surveyed the crowd. What if men in social settings can be broken up into four different types of personas. Instead of using adjectives and calling them as we see it, wouldn't it be more fun to refer to them as, well, pieces of bread? Not sure what we mean? Read on for how we match the man to the bread...

Dry Toast
"What's dry toast doing here?" one of the girls asked. She was referring to the man at the corner who was neither the life of the party or even someone to talk to. He stands off to the side -- he's either shy or plain old rude. Girls don't dare try to make a conversation with this man for he is a lazy socializer. You'll have to carry the conversation and soon enough you'll feel as if you were talking to yourself. It's too much effort for someone you barely know, let alone a man who's not worth an ounce of trouble. He's as "dry" as his personality. Get it?

Burnt Toast
Burnt toast, on the other hand, is the man who tries really hard -- too hard, actually. He's as "burnt" as his jokes, one-liners and punch lines. You stick around enough for a conversation with him or two just enough to figure out where you lie on the coolness level (which is high), while "burnt toast" is below you though he may think otherwise. Don't be fooled by his appearance -- he's working off of years of ego that has long since dried up and disintegrated.

Toaster Crumbs
We just feel bad for toaster crumbs. This man has what we call what's reminiscent to a self esteem he once had. It's long gone -- it left along with the last relationship he had. That last ex of his burned him to a crisp. He has nothing left to give. He's a sad handful of crumbs at the bottom of the toaster. No one wants to eat that. It just sits there hopeless and depressed. No need to watch out for this one, his bread identity is so obvious, everyone stays away at all costs.

Buttered Toast
Now buttered toast -- that's bread we can get behind. Everyone loves eating buttered toast whether it's good or bad for them. It looks good, tastes good, and replenishes us for later. It's equivalent of a breath of fresh air after you've met all the other variations of bad toasts out there -- burnt, dry and crumbs. It's not too dry, it's nowhere near burnt and it's a hundred times better than crumbs. It's just right. Some say buttered toast is hard to come by. Sadly they may be right, but it's worth the wait.

OMG! My mom is dating

2010-09-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

Help, My Mom Is A Player!
Jessica Solloway

The terms 'parents' and 'dating' usually conjure images of stern papas standing at the window with the light on till the wee hours of the night. But this writer's the one doing the waiting. And it's not for her daughter -- it's for her mother. How does one tactfully and gracefully deal when Mom is dating? Find out here.

Maybe this is payback for all the times I came home past curfew in high school. Because now I'm pacing across my living room, willing the phone to ring, so I'll know that my mother arrived home safely from her evening out with "The Podiatrist". Luckily, before I'm completely convinced this alleged "podiatrist" is actually an ex-con with a foot fetish, my cell lights up. She's home! They had a great time. He has two kids that live in Chicago. Spicy food gives him acid reflux. He does yoga three mornings a week. She's going to the movies with him Saturday. I don't even know The Podiatrist's name, but now I've been briefed on everything else, including his gastrointestinal issues.

My parents got divorced a couple of years ago. And now that the dust from the "d-bomb" has settled, my mom has slowly entered the singles scene. From teaching her how to text to screening potential suitors online, it can be challenging to be a daughter and a dating coach. Here are five tips for dealing when your mom is looking for a second chance at love.

Tip #1: Show her the Ropes
If your mom hasn't been on the market since plaid bell-bottoms were in style and being in a relationship was called "going together", she needs a crash course in Dating 101 ASAP! And who better to clue her in than you? Your experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) will come in handy when mom needs to craft a witty email to a crush, or an in-depth explanation for why he didn't call. (Back in her day, the only "games" people played involved dice or a deck of cards. Clearly things have changed…)

Tip #2: Tell her to Spare Some Details
You're all for making mom's transition through unchartered territory smoother, but you don't have to always be her personal Carrie Bradshaw. Remind her that some details are better off dished to her friends, not her daughter. Although you've accepted that your parents are building new lives apart, sometimes the reality of how much things have changed can be difficult and sad, no matter how well adjusted you are in your current family situation. While you're delighted she went rollerskating with a man named Alfonso, it's okay to tell her you want to skip the play-by-play of the date.

Tip #3: Teach her How to Crop Her Own Photos
One of the most frustrating experiences you will ever go through is helping your mom set up an online dating profile. This requires the patience of a Buddhist monk or a very, very stiff drink. Be prepared to spend hours helping her compose a winning "About Me" paragraph and cropping images until the perfect profile picture is posted. To avoid being on 24-hour "tech support", walk her through how to upload, edit, crop and "wink" back at someone without your assistance.

Tip #4: Have a Support System
Ring, ring
My brother: "Hello?"
Me: "Who is this Jim character?"
My brother: "He's the skier."
Me: "The skier? Does he have a real job? This guy sounds like a serial killer."
My brother: "Jess, get a grip. I gotta go."
Me: "But mom doesn't even know how to ski! She --"
Click.

Keeping tabs on Miss Social Butterfly can be time consuming and make you a bit delusional. So, having a sibling, friend or spouse to share your "dating coach" duties and ease crazy concerns is key.

Tip #5: Don't Act like Her Mother
Remember, your mom is a smart, successful, level-headed adult who knows how to make good decisions. Her judgment may get clouded every now and then (like when she had coffee with a man that may have been stalking her in a parking lot), but you don't have to play the role of "strict parent". She already had two of those back in the day.

All she has to do is follow your "text me when you get home" policy, and it will be smooth sailing.

On-again, off-again relationships

2010-09-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

Yo-Yo Relationships: Not Always Bad

You've been here before: You've recently broken up with your partner, but you're not sure it's over. You try being friends, but it always leads back to dating. Each time you get back together, you try to make it work and you still have feelings for your partner, but you wonder if a better relationship out there for you. Here are a few things that my research team and I have found about on-again/off-again relationships that may help you decide whether to keep trying or whether it's time to move on -- permanently.

When to stay "on" and when to get "off"
Trying to be friends after breakups

Some partners try to be friends after breaking up. Some may be friends because they hope for a renewal; others may be leery to completely close the door on the relationship in case they can't find better partners. Many of those who try to be friends after breakups find it difficult to define the new relationship, though. A lot of uncertainties go along with this. For example, some partners wonder how much they should see each other, whether they are allowed to date other people, and what activities are off-limits now that they are no longer dating. Although losing the friendship as well as the romantic relationship is difficult, trying to be friends after the breakup may complicate the breakup process.

The more renewals, the less satisfying the relationship
Those who have experienced more breakups and renewals report less satisfaction, more conflict, more uncertainty about the relationship and less support for the relationship from friends and family. The on-off partners who do report more satisfaction say that the on-off nature of the relationship helped improve the relationship; the breakups and renewals gave them a chance to work on themselves or the relationship. These partners also report fewer renewals. Hence, these couples resolved their problems earlier in the relationship and stopped the cycle of breaking up and renewing. So if you've tried to make it work but the relationship seems to take a step backward each time you renew (or at least not improve), chances are the relationship probably won't get better.

Making the relationship more stable
Even if your relationship has gone through several renewals, the lessons from those who have stopped the cycle of breaking up and renewing may still apply. Change something about the relationship. Discuss new rules and norms. Talk about how to resolve issues that led to the breakups or how to improve the relationship. Don't just hope that the relationship will be better the next time around.

Ending the relationship… permanently
If you've decided that you want to move on:

•Explicitly discuss terminating the relationship with your partner. Don't leave the status of the relationship ambiguous or hint at a potential reconciliation.
•Find closure. Renewals are less likely to occur if both partners initiate the breakup -- in other words, if both partners want the relationship to end.
•Date other people. Renewals are less likely if partners date other people after breaking up with their on-off partners.
•Stop contact if possible. Sometimes, you have to remain in contact with your ex-partner -- for example, if you work together or you are in the same group of friends. Minimizing this contact, however, may help with all of the above.
In sum, our research suggests that on-off relationships are not always unhealthy. For many couples, the cycling pattern turns into a downward spiral. But for some, the breakups and renewals offer opportunities to improve the relationship. Still, if this doesn't occur within the first couple of breakups/renewals, getting the relationship on a more positive, and stable, track may prove difficult -- and ultimately, impossible.

Are you falling for someone?

2010-09-05T04:54:00.000-07:00

Love's
Danger Zones
Tonja Evetts Weimer

Are you falling in love... or just falling? Sometimes it's hard to tell during the blissful infatuation stage. Here's some straight talk to help you figure it out!

Be careful how you fall
If you're falling for someone, as in falling in love, you are probably in a delirious state. You may be so euphoric, you feel like you're falling off a cliff — and not sure whether you will hit the ground hard, or sprout wings to help you float. In the love department, there are other ways of "falling" that you want to be alerted to. Though love is an indescribable, immense high, you don't want to fall into some of the following danger zones:

1. Falling for the picture
When you first meet someone, you are falling for the best version of who he is. He is giving you his best presentation. You may be crazy about his sense of humor and sharp mind, but who knows whether you will be crazy in love months down the road — or, just plain crazy from the nutty things he does. Falling for the picture is often a projection of who you think he is and what you want him to be. If he doesn't live up to that picture, you will think he's letting you down. You might be tempted to coach, nudge, or guilt him into being the picture you have in mind. Pictures are laden with your expectations and can't always be trusted. You have to get to know the r guy before you jump to conclusions.

2. Falling into bed
There are so many reasons you don't want to do this before you know if you even have a relationship. And if you do have one, is it exclusive, monogamous and committed? If you become intimate on a first or second date, chances are, your date will not trust that you are a sincere person, capable of making good choices, and mature enough to have a lasting relationship. The question of values, reliable judgment and promiscuity arise. Before you ever reach this state, you need to know terribly important matters, like:

•His relationship history.
•His health record.
•What your agreements are with each other, such as exclusivity.
•A background check to know his character, work record, legal responsibilities, or even criminal history.
Do not just follow your emotions here. Falling into bed has serious repercussions. Be wise.

3. Falling for someone who's taken
Is your new love interest currently seeing someone else? Is he engaged? Or is he married? Falling for someone who is committed to someone else can happen, of course, but your job is to protect yourself. Unless you are seeking drama, heartache, fear, doubt, or distrust, back away. You could waste precious years, waiting for someone who may never be yours. And if he should commit to you—can you count on it? What you can count on is this: behavior patterns are known to repeat themselves. Why choose someone who would start a romance with you when they are in a committed relationship with someone else? It's called cheating.

4. Falling for the myth, "True love will find you if it's meant to happen."
Toss this myth out the window—fast! Getting what you want in life takes focus, intention, preparation, and action. Did your career "just find you?" Probably not. You worked for it. You learned the skills, did the work to become prepared, and went out there to find the job. If you want to meet someone, you will increase your chances by doing the following:

•Fall in love with your life. When you are proud of your accomplishments and can take care of yourself financially, you will be discerning about whom you choose to date.
•Work through the issues that have gotten in the way in your past relationships. When your baggage is unpacked, you are unburdened. You are able to see who you're meeting and talking to.
•Get your social skills tuned up. If you're going to the same places, seeing the same people, week after week, you are stuck in a rut. New actions are required. You need a new dating plan, such as: Tell 10 people this week that you'd like to meet someone special; join a paid internet dating site; and go out socially to a new place or event as often as you can.
5. Falling for anything
Are you one of those people who "falls for anything" potential dates might say to you that is flattering? Are you dying for compliments or attention? Are you so lonely or vulnerable, you'll believe anything a date says? If you answered yes to any of these questions, or if your friends would categorize you in this way, then get the help you need to build yourself up from the inside out.

If you're falling for someone, think about the above. Your life is precious and you deserve to treat it that way. Fall in love with yourself first.

Pickup lines that work on him

2010-09-05T04:51:00.000-07:00

Make The First Move
Tristan Coopersmith

Want to set a guy on fire from head to toe? Instead of playing the wallflower and waiting for him to approach you, try making the first move yourself with these foolproof pickup lines. Don't be shy -- guys are pretty easy to snag because, no matter what you say, they are just delighted not to have to be the aggressor for once. Be fun and flirty!

“Hi.”
Sounds sort of obvious and perhaps a bit generic, but it works! "The point is, be honest and direct," says The Frisky.com. "Fake little lies and cheesy lines don't work on women and they don't work on men." Guys just aren't used to girls approaching them, and your confident friendliness will be refreshing to him. Besides, who doesn't return a hello greeting? Certainly not a worthy guy...

“Can you help me?”
Maybe you've noticed your new crush has a cool new gadget for which you just so happen to be in the market, so ask his opinion on it. Or maybe you are reading a book and need a definition for a word that he may know. Guys like to feel smart and useful, so giving him the opportunity to help you will make him feel special, and therefore, interested in you.

“I like your (fill in what you genuinely like on him: shirt, accessory, smile).”
Find something you like about him, such as an article of clothing. Don't just let him know you like it; include a question about it to keep the conversation going. Girls are lucky -- we get complimented all of the time, but guys rarely do.

“Want a bite?”
Say you are sitting in a cafe, eating a piece of decadent chocolate cake. Offer the cutie at the table next to you a must-try bite. Not only is eating dessert a sensual experience, but also you will appear generous and open. Chances are, he will take you up on your offer, giving you the opportunity to engage in conversation. Plus, we could all use one bite less of cake, right?

“Oh, I'm sorry...”
As you reach for the sugar at Starbucks or maneuver your way in a not-so crowded bar, gently but still noticeably brush by a man you've spotted. Follow it with a coy, "Oh, excuse me,” to signal that you are interested and to bounce the ball into his court.

"You're cute, and I got sick of waiting for you to come over and talk to me.”
There is nothing wrong with going up to a guy and just saying what you're thinking. "The point is, be honest and direct," says The Frisky.com. "Fake little lies and cheesy lines don't work on women and they don't work on men."Although you become more vulnerable to rejection with this one (who knows, maybe he is waiting for his girlfriend), you will never wonder, "What if?” If nothing else, you'll just get more practice talking to guys. On the other hand, if he isn't waiting for his girlfriend, this undoubtedly will get him smiling, and chances are he will engage in conversation.

A few lines that don't work on us, but do work on him
•"I saved this seat for you" is a great direct invitation.
•"Will you go home with me?" The pure shock value alone is guaranteed to get his attention.
•"You look just like [fill in hot celebrity here]." It's a bit cheesy, but the instant ego boost is sure to light up his face.
•"Will you watch my stuff for a minute?" It's a subtle way of letting him know he is the chosen one.

5 Things guys hate to hear

2010-09-05T04:47:00.000-07:00

What They Don't Want You To Say
Brie Gatchalian

We asked a group of men what they hate to hear from the ladies they're dating. From ex-talks to fat-questions, men agreed across the board on the things that women say that irk them.

“My Ex used to...”
Whether you’re a boy or a girl, straight or gay, this gets old. When it comes to the person you’re dating, they don’t need to hear about your exes. It’s one thing to mention one or two things, but don’t make it a habit of saying, “my ex used to...” “I ended things with a girl who was notorious for [this],” says Jeremy, a 30-year-old single man. “If he had nothing to do with me, why bring him up all the time? Your focus should be on me now.”

“Do I look fat?”
Or anything that solicits a similar reaction, for that matter. Ladies, don’t ask your man, “Do I look fat?” if you’re going to hate a particular answer. “My girlfriend asks me if she looks fat in almost everything she puts on before we go to a big party or something, and it always ends up starting a fight,” says Alex, who’s been with his girlfriend for two years now. “It’s not like I call her fat, but the question gets old after awhile, so when she asks, I just don’t answer anymore.” The silent treatment Alex gives his girlfriend infuriates her and they end up arguing before every big party or event they have to go to. “It’s not fun,” he says.

“My mom, my sisters and my girlfriends used to all do this,” says Jim, who’s now happily married. “They’d knock themselves down or talk down their accomplishments. For awhile I didn’t understand what it was all about, then I realized they just want me to tell them how great they are.” Jim says this annoyed him more than anything -- he prefers a woman who’s not passive-aggressive and tells it like it is. “My wife is a straight shooter -- she tells me what she wants to hear, so there’s no fishing involved,” he adds. “It’s heaven.”

“Hi, brother”
As it turns out, gay or straight, this one bodes for everyone. Mike, a gay man, was in a car with three other gays and a straight man when we asked him “what guys hate to hear.” His committee of friends answered as a collective: “Guys hate to hear ‘you’re like a brother to me.’ It means [you’re not getting any] booty,” they say. “If you’re on ‘brother status,’ it’s time to move on.” So ladies, if you really like the guy you’re dating, don’t compare or liken him to your brother. That’s relationship suicide in guy world -- gay or straight.

Silence and secrets
For Purnell, who’s currently on a girl hiatus, it’s not so much about what girls say. It’s about what they’ve left out. “It's usually what you don't hear that ends up complicating things, right?” Purnell points out. “Once I dated a girl who, after we stopped dating, revealed that she had been on anti-depressants throughout our short-lived relationship.” For Purnell, this information would’ve been significant and useful when they were dating. “The patterns I noticed -- lethargy, passivity -- that eventually turned me off may have been induced by [medication] and may not have reflected her true character,” he realizes. “I'll never know.”

10 Man mysteries decoded

2010-09-05T04:41:00.000-07:00

Understanding
The Dude

Guys can do the most puzzling things. Those things that make you go "WTF?!", lose sleep over, and ultimately call in your troop of girls to figure out. From phone phobias to in-your-face flirting and post sex snoozing, we uncovered ten of the most common man mysteries to give you the dish on why guys do the idiotic things they do.

He texts ALL the time, but never calls.
MYSTERY SOLVED: Sure, his texts brighten your day and you'd miss them if they disappeared, but it would be nice to get a call every once in a while, too. Doesn't seem like much to ask for, does it? Well, there are two reasons your man is a phone-a-phobe. Most likely – he just hates the phone. Unlike women, men generally dislike communication, which stems from physical differences in the makeup of the male and female brain (and there's science to prove it!). You'd be hard-pressed to find a guy who wants to chat about your day's drama – your awful co-workers, your BFF's sad breakup and so on. He'd rather spend his time working, sleeping, drinking or playing Mario Kart with his friends. The other explanation for his text-obsessive behavior is that there is someone in his life that he doesn't want listening in on your convo. Could be a boss, a roomie, a nosy mom or worse, a current girlfriend. In either circumstance, texting gets the job done (engages you enough and allows for logistical planning), and if you aren't putting your foot down about it, he has no incentive to change his behavior.

He acts distant with you around his friends
MYSTERY SOLVED: When it is the two of you, your man is a living, breathing Valentine card – pure mush. But as soon as you two walk into guys' turf, he barely acts like he knows you – at best you get a high five. Guys innately want to be one of the pack, and oftentimes girlfriends ruin that. Sure, in theory the guy with the girlfriend is the luckiest because he's the one who isn't cold and lonely at night, but having a smoochy girlfriend hanging on him at the sports bar significantly decreases his macho cred. It simply is not cool for his friends to see him stroke your hair, whisper sweet nothings and Eskimo kiss you – rest assured, if he does, he is going to get razzed pretty badly.

he never stays through the night.
MYSTERY SOLVED: Not much beats waking up to a warm, cuddly guy, but yours keeps bolting like a thief in the night. Unless your bed is supremely uncomfortable, you snore like a freight train or he has some other reasonable excuse for vanishing (and no, "I like to floss in my own bathroom" doesn't cut it), chances are he might have intimacy and/or commitment issues. Either that or you have been relegated to booty call status. This is a guy who doesn't want to deal with tomorrow. He wants to be in his own bed. He wants freedom. He doesn't want to spoon, go out to brunch in the morning or potentially be pressured into spending the whole next day with you. Those are all things women crave, but men, not so much. Unless, of course, he really likes you.

He said, "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you."
MYSTERY SOLVED: Hearing these words stings and confuses the heart like no other sentiment. Sugarcoating aside, any way you cut it, this statement translates to "You are completely amazing, but you are not the girl for me." It could be coming from a guy who used to be in love with you but isn't any longer, or it could be from a guy who has put you permanently in the friend zone.

The less interest you show in him, the more he wants to be with you.
MYSTERY SOLVED: It feels like you are reliving third grade all over again. You pay attention to him – he ignores you. You don't, and he can't get enough! This is a classic case of immature game playing coming from a guy who enjoys the chase of dating more than the idea of an actual relationship, which offers little opportunity to win or to lose. Baked into this type of guy's being is the thrill of the pursuit. It gives him a high, and if you play into it, you are playing his game. Show him zero interest, though, and eventually he will find another opponent. A little hard-to-get is a good thing. Just don't go overboard!

He flirts with other women… IN FRONT OF YOU!
MYSTERY SOLVED: His ace flirting skills may be just the thing that scored your interest but seeing him perform in front of you on other women has you steaming mad… and rightfully so! This man mystery can occur for a few reasons, depending on the guy and his intent. First, he could be a disrespectful pig who's just not that into you and scouting alternatives. If that's not the case, he may possibly be trying to make you jealous. He wants you to know that you aren't his only option – that you need to stay on your toes. Further, this could be his subversive way of showing you that you aren't paying him enough attention. Finally, he might not be flirting at all and maybe you are just being paranoid. He could just be a friendly guy, and just because you are dating him, doesn't mean he has to stop being friendly.

He won't stop for directions.
MYSTERY SOLVED: You've been lost for an hour but your man swears he knows where he is going. Despite your bubbling aggravation, he refuses to stop for directions. This one universally applies to men, because universally, men don't like to be one-upped by other men, especially around their lady. If he pulls over to ask someone else for directions, you might see the other guy as smarter. Caveman-like indeed, but you can't really blame him for wanting to impress you – his heart is in the right place, even if his ego isn't.

He doesn't know what to do/say when you are upset.
MYSTERY SOLVED: There they are – your guts all over the floor. As you reach for a tissue to wipe away your runny mascara and glean some words of comfort or advice from your man, you receive a blank stare in return. Did he hear a word of what you just said? It isn't that he wasn't listening, doesn't have anything to say or doesn't care. He is likely afraid of saying the wrong thing and you, as a result, getting you more upset. Most guys aren't as confident in expressing feelings or offering advice as women are but rather solve problems logically. The last thing he wants to do when you are vulnerable is disappoint you by offering the wrong words.

he supposedly likes you but never asks you out.
MYSTERY SOLVED: All signals point to him liking you – he pays you compliments, makes an effort to be where you are, all your friends swear he is into you, but he seems to be stuck at a yellow light when it comes to making his move. If you've ruled out him being married or otherwise committed to someone else, chances are this guy is just a wuss. He simply can't get up the nerve to ask you out. He might be inexperienced with women, shy, intimidated by you, or misinformed as to your single status.

He falls asleep after sex.
MYSTERY SOLVED: So you want to snuggle, talk, go for round two – do anything but pass out, but your guy always falls asleep! Well simply, when man was made, he was made flawed in this respect. Due to a variety of biochemical and evolutionary reasons – both direct and indirect – a guy actually can't control his level of sleepiness post-sex, so it's nothing to take personally. Just be happy he doesn't fall asleep during sex. In a recent study 48 percent of men admitted doing so at least once before!

How to be happily single when your friends are taken

2010-09-05T04:38:00.000-07:00

Your single gal pal is now totally taken - what do you do?

When two friends navigate single life together, flying solo can be fun. But the fun subsides once a new beau enters the picture. When your best friend finds love, you might feel left out, but remember: Just because your friend's single status has changed, your relationship with her doesn't have to.

Beat the blues
You may find that you have more time to yourself these days. Don't consider this to be loneliness. Instead, forget the labels and channel your energy into exploring ways to make your own life more exciting.

•Challenge yourself to a new physical activity, such as a co-ed sport (where single, athletic men sweat and guzzle Gatorade...)
•Start a blog. It's trendier than writing in a journal, and you stand a far better chance of someone special finding your words of wisdom.
•Plan a getaway to visit a long-distance friend, preferably a friend who lives near the beach.
•Sign up for yoga classes. Now you'll have a reason to buy those stylish work-out clothes!
•Become a Starbucks regular. Try all the drink variations, crush on the cute barista, make reading the newspaper a habit -- and, most of all, be friendly. Who knows who you could meet?

Keep your friendship alive
Don't forget the thrill of falling in love. Your friend probably feels as if she’s the happiest girl in the world. Meanwhile, as the single friend, you might be experiencing thoughts of jealousy or self-pity. Keep this negativity at bay, as it will only end up hurting both you and your friendship.

•Don't bash the new guy.
•Don't make your friend feel guilty or whine about your single-ness. This will just push her further away from you.
•Do be inspired by Cindy Guidry, the famously happy single who wrote the book, "The Last Single Woman in America."
•Do seek out more time with your friend once she gets beyond the butterflies. Set up lunch dates or a girls-only night during the weekend.
•Do think of her new boyfriend as your own new friend. You can get a guy's perspective on dating and maybe even meet his friends. Consider this networking!

4 Signs to tell if your boyfriend is a loser

2010-09-05T04:37:00.000-07:00

Hopeless Loser Boyfriends

The difference between dating a cute, underemployed artist/actor/musician type and a cute, underemployed freeloader can be hard to distinguish. Is your man in a permanent slump? Here are four signs to watch out for and how to take control of the situation.

Sign #1: He’s Always Broke
Deadbeat boyfriends are notorious for having a million excuses about why they are constantly broke. The economy is bad, his former boss was a jerk, he’s waiting for the check to come in, etc. What they don’t have, however, is a plan to turn their financial situation around.

Sign #2: He’s Lazy
Do you leave the house in the morning while he’s still under the covers and come home to find him parked on the couch? If he’s always on Facebook, playing video games, or even if it’s just a small thing like not replacing the empty toilet paper roll when it’s out, laziness and a supreme lack of motivation are definite signs of deadbeat behavior.

Sign #3: He’s Erratic
You may love that he is a nonconformist, but if the guy you’re dating continually demonstrates shady tendencies, like disappearing for days, binge drinking, or staying out all night and refusing to tell you where he’s been, consider yourself warned.

Sign #4: He Lets You Support Him
No matter how affectionate he is, do not allow your boyfriend to live with you and not pay at least half of the rent and shared expenses. Likewise, no self-respecting man would let his girlfriend always take him out to dinner without ever reciprocating. If your boyfriend allows you to support him or needs your help to accomplish even the most mundane of tasks, he might be classic DBB.

So what do you do?
First, stop spending money on him and doing anything that he would otherwise have to pay someone to do. You may think that you’re helping, but, in the long run, by allowing him to mooch off of you (both financially and emotionally), you are simply enabling his behavior and giving him no reason to change. Instead, talk to him about how you feel and be firm that you are uncomfortable dating (or living with) someone that is unemployed (or broke or lazy.) Hopefully, if he has any sense, this should be enough to motivate him. However, if not, put him to work around the house and let him work off his share of responsibilities by playing a role that women have played for decades, that of the housewife. If you don’t decide to break-up, at the very least, you will have someone to cook you dinner and sign for your Ebay packages!

Natalie 16

2010-09-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

“hoy! Larry anung ginagawa mo dito diba dapat nasa labas ka nagbabantay, kaya pala may nakapasok dito aanga anga ka na naman diyan.”sabay baling nito ng tingin kay natalie na nakaupo at nakagapos, ang hindi nila alam ay anytime ay pwede maka takas si natalie.”ha! sino ang naka pasok? Nahuli ba?”buong inosenteng tanong ni larry. “oo, nahuli ni baldo, isang magbobote ayon nakita na maraming bote ng alak sa harapan, diba binilin ko sa iyo na itapon mo iyon”sabi nito sabay batok kay larry. Humingi nalang ng pasensya si larry dahil ang totoo ay sinadya nya ikalat ang mga bote upang ng sa ganun pg dumating ang mag bobote ay madistrak ang atensyon nila at makapasok si henry sa loob ng bodega. Matapos ang usapang iyon ay nag paalam na ang malaking mama na lalabas muna at kakain at sinabing bantayan mabuti ni larry si natalie at huwag hayaan na makatakas.
Nang makalabas na ang nasabing lalake ay lumabas naman si henry sa pagkakatago sa loob ng maliit na cabinet, sa sobrang takot na baka sila ay mahuli ng mga ito hindi na lang namalayan ni henry na napag kasya niya ang sarili sa nasabing pinag taguan. Samantala si natalie naman ay tumayo at buong higpit na niyakap si henry dahil sabik siyang Makita ang pinaka mamahal na lalake, si larry naman ay sumilip sa bintana at tiningnan kung dumating naba si mylene, dali daling nilisan ng tatlo ang nasabing kwarto na pinag taguan kay natalie, dahan dahan binuksan ni larry ang pinto at siya ang nauna lumabas upang siguraduhin na walang makakakita sa kanila sa gagawing pagtakas sa lugar na iyon. Nakita naman ni larry na kumakain ang dalawang kasamahan habang nanunuod ng tv, sinenyasan nito sina henry at natalie na pumunta sa gawing kanan upang doon dumaan palabas sa nasabing bodega.. sa di inaasahan ay may nasagi naman si natalie na nakakalat na bode sa sahig, sa takot ay napayakap si natalie kay henry samantala tinakpan naman ni henry ang bibig ni natalie dahil muntik na itong mapasigaw. Dahil sa narinig na ingay ay tumayo ang isang maskuladong lalake at tiningnan ang pinag galingan ng ingay na iyon, “anak ka talaga ng teteng larry, anung ginagawa mo diyan diba pinapabantayan ko sa iyo iyong babae.”galit na tanong nito at sabay batok kay larry. “eh. Bo bosing kukuha lang naman ako ng inumin eh nauuhaw na kasi ako” paliwanag nito at sabay dampot nito sa bote na kanina ay nasipa ni natalie sabay himas sa kanyang batok at hingi ng pasensya dahil sa nagawang ingay. “oh, siya bilisan mo kumuha ng tubig at bumalik ka dun sa pinapabantayan ko sa iyo, ikuha mo na rin kami ng yelo, ubos na pala ang yelo naming, bilis huwag kang babagal bagal diyan.”sabay tulak nito kay larry na halos madapa. Pag kasabing iyon ay bumalik na ang lalake sa upang ituloy ang naudlot na pag kain at panunuod ng tv samantala ng tanong naman ang kasamahan nito na bakit maingay at sinabi nitong kagagawan ni larry, dahil sa narinig ay tumawa nalang ang dalawa at sinabing kahit kailan daw talaga ay aanga anga ang larry na iyon.
Samantala, humingi ng paumanhin si natalie kay larry dahil sa kanya ay nasaktan pa ito ng mga kasamahan., sinabi naman ni larry na walang dapat ipag alala sa bagay na iyon ang mahalaga ay hindi sila nabuko na tatakas.
Narrating nilang tatlo ang pintuan sa bandang likuran, akmang lalabas na silang tatlo ng bigla nalang silang may makasalubong na isang lalake, iyon ay isa rin sa inupahan ni mylene para magbantay kay natalie, biglang sinita nito si larry kung saan pupunta at sino ang kasama nitong isa pang lalake na hindi nito kilala, tinutukan nito ng baril ang tatlo upang pabalikin sa loob ng bodega ngunit nanlaban sa larry at sinabing tumakbo na ang dalawa upang tumakas, ayaw naman iwan ni natalie si larry sa eksenang iyon dahil baka mapano ito ngunit hinila siya ni henry upang tumakas. Ng makalayo sila sa lugar na iyon ay may narinig silang isang putok, putok galing sa bodegang ganilang pinag mulan, napatili naman si natalie at nag iiyak na yumakap kay henry, inisip ni natalie na napatay ng armadong lalake ang isang kaibigan na tumulong sa kanila upang makatakas sa lugar na iyon, hinimas himas naman ni henry ang buhok ni natalie at sinabing tumahan na ito, wala na silang magagawa sa mga oras na iyon kundi ang tumakbo ng tumakbo at magtago para hindi mahanap ng mga taong dumukot kay natalie. Takbo ng takbo ang dalawa sa kagubatan ng hindi mawari kung saan ba sila patungo, masyadong madilim ang paligid at wala man lang ilaw,pasalamat nalang sila at napaka liwanag ng buwan at iyong ang nagsilbing liwanag nila sa gabing iyon, matapos ang isang oras na pagtakbo ay napansin nila na narating nila ang isang kalsada, kalsada na kung saan patungo ay hindi nila alam sa mga oras na iyon, naupo ang dalawa at hingal na hingal, samantala si natalie naman ay hindi makapaniwala na nakalayo na sa bodegang iyon at kasama pa ang pina ka mamahal na lalake. Magkayakap ang dalawa habang ng aantay kung may sasakyan mang dadaan sa mga oras na iyon. Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay may napansin silang liwanag na paparating, pinara nila iyon ngunit hindi man sila binigyan ng pagkakataon na makasakay man lang. hindi pa rin sila tumigil sa pag aabang ng masasakyan ng may bigla nalang huminto sa kanilang tapat at pinasakay sila. Laking tuwa naman ni natalie ng may nag magandang loob. Tinanong ni henry ang lalake kung saan ito patungo ngunit hindi ito sumagot ,tiningnan lang siya nito at sabay dial sa kanyang telepono, at sinabing hawak na ulit nila ang nakatakas na dalaga kasama ang isang lalake. Dahil sa narinig ay parang pinag sakluban naman ng langit at lupa si natalie, buong akala niya ay makakatakas na sila ngunit ito sila pabalik kung saan siya tinago ni mylene. Nais naman pumalag ni henry ngunit wala ito magawa ng mga oras na iyon dahil may nakatutok na baril sa kanilang dalawa. Napayakap nalang si natalie kay henry ng mga oras na iyon.

Natalie 15

2010-09-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

“mr henry?, alam ko po kung asan ang kinaroroonan ng kaibigan nyo.” Sabi ng caller kay henry laking gulat naman ng binata sa narinig.”hah, asan si natalie, anung lugar? Kamusta siya?”daming tanong ni henry sa caller at di na nito naitanong ang pangalan ng tumawag. Sinabi ng caller na puntahan agad ang dalaga sa nasabing address at magkita sila doon, pagkatapos sabihin ng caller ang impormasyon ng lugar ay binaba na nito ang telepono. Laking pasalamat naman ni henry dahil ngayon alam na niya kung saan tinago ni mylene ang dalaga. Pag katapos ay tinawagan agad ni henry ang mga kaibigan upang ipag bigay alam sa mga ito.
“pare hanggang kailan ba natin babantayan iyong pina dukot ni boss?”tanong ng isang maskuladong lalake sa kasamahan nito habang umiinom ng alak.”hindi ko rin alam wala pang sinasabi si boss kung ano ba talaga ang balak niyang gawin ang pag kakaalam ko lang eh pakakawalan din iyong babae pag katapos ni boss makuha ang gusto niya.”sagot nito,”hoy larry san ka pupunta?”biglang lingon ng dalawa sa bandang likuran dahil narinig nito na may nag bukas ng pinto.”dito lang sa labas mag papahangin sandali, babalik din ako agad.” Sabi nito.”sige bilisan mo lang at parating na si boss,”bilin nito, sumang ayon naman ang lalake sa sinabi ng kasamahan nito at sinabing babalik din agad.
“pare may naka pasok sa boundery natin.”sabi ng lalake na hinihingal pa dahil sa ginawang pagtakbo papasok sa loob ng building na tinataguan.”ha? ano? Paano nangyari iyon diba may nakabantay naman sa labas ng building na ito, mga inutil sige huwag hayaan na makapasok iyan ditto sa loob malilintikan tayo kay boss niyan.”utos nito at sabay punta sa pinagtataguan nito ng mga baril.
Samantala sa bahay ng baronman ay hindi naman mapakali si colline dahil hindi nito makontak ang telepono ng kaibigan,lubos na nag aalala kung ano na nga ba ang nangyari sa kaibigang lalake.”colline dear what happen to you? You look terrible something happen that I need to know?”Buong pag aalala na tanong ni mr baronman.”oh!daddy thanks God that you came,,nag aalala lang kasi ako kay henry,di ko alam kung na saan na ba siya, nakausap ko ang maid niya ang sabi after ng phone habang nag hahapunan si henry ay bigla nalang ito umalis.”mahabang kwento ni colline sa kanyang ama.sinabi rin ni colline ang nangyari kay natalie at nabigla naman ang matanda dahil sa nalaman, kaya ito nagbalik upang alamin ang kung totoo nga ang nabalitaan tungkol sa pagkawala ng dalaga. Sinabi naman ni colline na naireport na rin nila sa mga pulis ang buong nangyari at sinabing gagawin ang lahat upang mahanap ang nasabing kaibigan. Ang pinag tataka lang ng mga pulis ay kung dinukot ang babae ay dapat makalipas ang ilang araw ay tatawag na ang mga ito upang humingi man lang ng ransom pero wala natanggap ang mga ito ng anumang tawag mula sa kidnapers.
“natalie gising, shhhhh!!! Huwag kang maingay itatakas kita ditto.” Habang inaalis ng lalaki ang mga tali na nakapalibot kay natalie..laking gulat naman ng dalaga dahil sa nakita”h- henry?”tanging nasambit ng dalaga dahil sa pag kabigla, dami gusto itanong ng dalaga sa lalake kung paano ito nakapasok sa loob ng pina taguan sa kanya, samantala habang nasa ganoon silang eksena ay bigla nalang nag bukas ang pinto na ikinagulat nila. Biglang tumayo si natalie at iniharang ang katawan kay henry dahil sa takot na saktan ito ng lalaking pumasok sa loob ng bodega. “natalie huminahon ka kakampi natin siya, siya ang tumawag sa akin at sinabing andito ka nga”sabay tayo ni henry at pumunta sa pintuan upang sumilip kung may taong paparating at inilock nito ang pintuan. “pasensya na po kayo miss natalie, hindi lang kasi ako pabor sa mga ginagawa nila sana mapatawad mo ako”sabay yukong pag hingi ng paumanhin ng binata. Sinabi naman ni natalie na wala siya dapat ihingi ng patawad sa halip ay nagpasalamat pa si natalie sa lalake dahil sa pag tulong nito. Maya maya lamang ay may narinig silang mga yabag papunta sa kinaroroonan nila.

We Have The Right Love at the Wrong Time

2010-08-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

We have the right love at the wrong
time.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING. And that also
speaks the truth when it comes to
loving someone. It's not always the
case that a love relationship will
exist or can be worked out when love
is real, time element must also be
considered.

I guess I always knew inside, I
wouldn't have you for a long time.

While one can always love, hope, and
have faith, he must also count in a
sacrifice and accept the outcome no
matter what. Acceptance of a loss is
not merely a defeat itself; it is just
a process of gaining wisdom in life.

Those dreams of yours are shining on
distant shores and if they are calling
you away I don't have right to make
you stay.

They say that if you love someone, you
should learn to let him go. How ironic
it can get to a certain point of view.
How can you let go of someone you're
still so much in love with? I guess
great understanding and selflessness
is the key to such love - an
unconditional love. It's when you
finally learn to say, "I want you to
be happy." without considering your
own.

As what the song goes "But somewhere down the
road our roads are gonna cross again it doesn't
really matter when. Somewhere down the
road I know that heart of yours will
come to see that you belong with me."

Sometimes in life, the decision of
letting someone go actually doesn't
end up right there. It turns out to be
just a test of time. Sooner or later,
without further anticipation, your
paths will cross again. But what if it
doesn't? Then again, one could only
hope for it to happen or much better -
just have faith!

So, what's the difference between
hoping and having faith? When you are
hoping, it doesn't always necessarily
include faith. But when you are having
faith, you are actually hoping at the
same time. Faith is a strong belief of
the existence of an unforeseen object
or a person or the occurrence of an
unforeseen event.

Sometimes goodbyes are not forever. It
doesn't matter if you're gone. I'll
still believe in us together.

Sometimes having faith is just as hard
as letting go. Often, we get down and
lose hope. And instead of being
positive, we put our focus on the
pain. But if we could only realize and
see that what we have done could have
possibly planted a "seed of love" in
the other person's heart, having faith
wouldn't be too difficult. We can then
believe that love never really fails
after all.

I understand more then you think I
can. You have to go out on your own so
you can find your way back home.

True, love conquers all. It conquers
us. They say that if you were really
meant for each other you will end up
with each other. But little did we
know that it actually lies in a
mystery - we don't choose to love or
be loved, love chooses us. A little
time is all we need. The "seed of
love" that we have left wouldn't
suddenly sprang-up into a tree. It's
nurtured through time. And when the
right time comes, it will return to
you in a manner you wouldn't have
imagined.

Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so. We have the
right love at the wrong time. Maybe
we've only just begun. Maybe the best
is yet to come.

There was a saying that goes, "The
fastest way to receive love is to give
love. The fastest way to lose love is
to hold it too tightly. In addition to
these, the best way to keep love is to
give it wings." Letting go is not
always easy. In fact it can break you
and cause you a lot of pain. But
letting go is not really the end of
love; it is only the beginning of a
greater love. a love that time alone
can understand.

We cant beg someone to stay if they
want to leave and be with someone
else, we have to admit that love
doesnt give us the license to own a
person. THIS WHAT LOVE MEANS
SACRIFICE!!!

10 Ways to celebrate your anniversary

2010-08-30T08:07:00.000-07:00

by Melissa Chapman

You romantic! Obviously you’re here because you want to make this upcoming anniversary the most special one yet. You’re going to love these unique and romantic ways to celebrate your anniversary!
How can you celebrate this woman who has enriched your life in so many ways? Whitney Casey, relationship insider for Match.com offers these unique and out of the box ways to celebrate your anniversary in style. These anniversary ideas will help you prove your everlasting love to your significant other - without breaking the bank.

#1 Start a garden.

Pick a plant and fruit for each other, and plant them as a couple. Of course the idea is to take care of each other’s plant which is symbolic for how you will continue to nurture your relationship.

#2 Celebrate her interests

Bite the bullet and watch five of your love’s favorite movies…yes this includes chick flicks!

#3 Make an anniversary play list

Add a song with each consecutive anniversary which you can look back at year after year.

#4 Learn together

Take a cooking class together and then prepare the meal that you learned while in class as a team.

#5 Have a boudoir photo shoot

Take tasteful, yet sexy pictures anniversary pictures for your significant other (that are, of course, photoshopped).

#6 Plan ahead for your together time

Pay a babysitter for the year and depending on your budget, plan a regular weekly or monthly date night. This way you know the sitter is always going to be available at that particular time and it eliminates any excuse not to go out.

#7 Take it to a new extreme

Surprise her with an extreme adventure together like sky diving, mountain climbing. The endorphin high and the novelty will boost your libidos.

#8 Join the mile-high club

If you’ve got the funds jet to an exotic locale.

#9 Special meals

Hire a chef to prepare a few new meals for the two of you. Bonus: Exotic foods are considered an aphrodisiac!

#10 Jewelry is always special and unique…

And of course….you can always buy her some jewelry which will definitely score you brownie points!

Wishing For You

2010-08-24T17:59:00.000-07:00

Wishing For You

As I sit here,

wishing for you.

I am hoping,

that you are wishing for me too.

I dream about you,

day and night.

I love you through and through,

and that gives me a fright.

I have never been in love before,

especially with someone I just met.

I don't think I could love you more,

I am falling and you are my net.

As I sit here,

missing you.

I am hoping,

to see you soon.

I want to kiss your soft gentle lips,

I want to hold your sweet caring hands.

I want to hug your perfect body,

I want to look into your mysterious eyes.

So as I sit here,

dreaming of you.

All I want is for you,

to say to me "I love You".

Jennaveen

SimplyLove Tambayan

Radio ni Cast

Online dating: Finally meeting in person

First date preparation

Dress to impress.

Leave something to talk about.

Flattery might get you somewhere.

You should be nervous.

Don’t string him along.

Want to be special? Make him special!

How To Make Him Feel Special

If you want to be special to him -- and if you want your relationship to be special -- then treat him just like you want to be treated. Read on for a few easy tips to making him feel loved, wanted and appreciated.

How do you make him feel?

Don't take him for granted

Killing him not-so-softly with your silence

Say No To The Silent Treatment

Deadly silent

Why the silent treatment doesn't work

The solution?

Chatrooms

Be my Guest

What Went Wrong? Learning From Your Past Relationships

by Jennifer Good

by Jennifer Good

It's Not You, It's Me(15 Ways to Regain Your Confidence after Being Dumped)

7 Signs It’s Time to End Your Relationship

Natalie 17

My Blog Contents

Comparing men to pieces of bread when out in broad daylight

OMG! My mom is dating

On-again, off-again relationships

Are you falling for someone?

Pickup lines that work on him

5 Things guys hate to hear

10 Man mysteries decoded

How to be happily single when your friends are taken

4 Signs to tell if your boyfriend is a loser

Natalie 16

Natalie 15

We Have The Right Love at the Wrong Time

10 Ways to celebrate your anniversary

Wishing For You

Say No To The
Silent Treatment