.Simply.the.Best.Lucky.Loser.

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Dwight Eubanks had penile implant

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:52:00 +0000

I am not one to knock a brotha down when he is already down, but that whole ordeal about his penile implant on the reunion sure got laughs out of me. I really dislike people like Dwight, who think highly of themselves and think that they deserve the best because they think they are the best! (keyword: think) Honestly, Kim should have never really said anything about that but she just wanted the focus to get off her for a second and totally shocked everyone with the Dwight had a penile implant comment! Can you say Karma, Only because Dwight wanted more drama to come off the reunion show, as he entered the building he made comments about all the girls and compared their behavior as going to church. So, Dwight surely got what he deserved.

I am not saying that penile implants are a horrible thing and that you should hide the fact that you got one, but in Dwight's case he went on comparing his procedure to breast implants. Which clearly is in the wrong field in comparison. Breast implants are for cosmetic surgery where as Penile implants are for more serious medical problems. If the brotha had a hard time getting a stiffy than cool, I would do the same if I could not get my pretty penis up too. To compare it to breast implants tho' was the wrong move and he should be ashamed of that, for the people that actually get penile implants for medical purposes. YOU don't get penile implants to make it bigger, you get them because you need to get hard! Dwight sure has a class to him, but I think he is hood and needs to admit that the implant was and is for his sexual pleasure, not because he wanted to enlarge it, but because his aging penis wanted to be as pretty as he thinks he is!

Penile Implants:

Penile implants are devices implanted inside the penis that allow men with erectile dysfunction (ED) to get an erection. Penile implants are also sometimes used to treat Peyronie's disease, a disorder that causes pain or bending of the penis during erections.

Penile implants require an involved surgery. There's a risk of infection and a risk that the device will malfunction. But, since they were first introduced, new materials, designs and surgical procedures have greatly improved outcomes for penile implants. Most men with penile implants and their partners say they're satisfied with the results.

Hopefully the drama next season sticks with the girls and does not involve Dwight's "who cares" feedback. I surely did love Nene in the beginning, but her attitude sure has changed...I am Team Kandi and Lisa!! you go girls. More fights and drama over bottles of Cristal, please!

The 80's are back

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:04:00 +0000

WOWZA, i love your style

The 80's are back or was it back along time ago? It seems that fashion trends from the 80's are coming back with a bang and have been since the late 90's. Introductions of the new fashion and well as dances, have always featured bits and pieces of the past to make it to the present, wish people were like that CHANGE is good!

Sarah Jessica Parker, sporting a Madonna-esque wardrobe for her upcoming film "Sex and the City 2. This caught my eye as I was strolling over to JustJared.com and I must say besides the headband this style is pretty cool and wouldn't mind seeing this on the sidewalks of Kihei. It seems everyone is vying to be different that their outfits seems to clash or just becomes one huge ass FAIL! no you shouldn't match head to toe with the same color and fabric, no you shouldn't wear outfits that seem to make you look fatter, unless you can pull it off, no you shouldn't get all dressed up and wear $1.99 flip flops with you dress pants. Okay I am no fashion mogule, but I surely do know what looks good and what doesn't.

Common-sense right, everyone should invest in a full body mirror and take a look at themselves before they step out. Being confident and looking good, deserves an A++++ =)

two more shots below and I must say that they truly captured the essence of these characters through clothes, great job wardrobe department. Now only if we can convince people to dress like this, the world would be easier! =) pictures provided by JustJared.com:

sense of humor: blogger direction not needed

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:05:00 +0000

Recently I sent in a resume for blogger job, knowing that I might not get it, but wanted to see if they might just like me. Unfortunately they wanted to go in another direction, which I knew, of course! The blogger job I was applying for was for a magazine company that focused on tourist things around Maui and they were based here, as you can tell my blog is way beyond Maui attractions and tourist destinations. I just wanted to put myself out there and really have been sending my resumes left right, I guess you can say that I have been doing that nonchalantly. With the crisis that everyone is going through, either being laid off or fighting for a position, it seems that countless people are just putting in their resumes hoping that someone will bite.

I must say though, sending my resume to the magazine, I sort of giggled as I pressed the send button. I pictured a clad lady of about 40 years old, clicking my link to my site. Of course, there is nothing in my blog name that indicated that this site leans more towards the gay agenda. I imagined her stepping into the office with her usual latte, sitting at her desk sorting through her emails and out pops my site. Big eye and all, she doesn't even scroll down to read the articles, but instead emails me quickly in a very professional way saying that they want to go in another direction, when actually they don't want my type writing for a magazine that caters to the upper middle class tourist. As she scrambles to recompose herself sitting there in awe, she can't believe that I would even try to send apply for the position. Secretly, she favorites my link and decides to take a look at it on her personal time, making sure no one else is in the office, the content might be offensive to others, but her curiosity prevails and she reads every single article. I am guilty pleasure, that's what I wanted. I won. I.<3.my sense of humor.

I was debating whether or not to change the layout of my page and PC my blog up, but decided that this started of as a personal fun thing to do and I shouldn't it. Offensive or not, this keeps me sane and I love it. yay for blogging.

Fat people shouldn't....

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:22:00 +0000

...major FAIL! poor thing!

funny comedians....I.<3.them!!!>

New faces of Quick Trim

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:12:00 +0000

JLO..

no wait its the manly looking Kardashian sisters! Khloe (why do I have to be under Kim's shadow) and Kim (im losing my image, everyone compares me to her anyway...so I will just be her...look at my ass and ROAR! ) =) Khloe went for the sophisticated Ad look while Kim went for the myspace mirror picture look! hmmmm..which is better..chances you heterosexual horn dogs will go for the JLO look alike...I think I will stay safe and say neither...wait didn't Anna Nicole Smith promote Quick Trim before she pass...BTW...if you take these pills will you then loose weight and shoot directly to fame and fortune by simply being someone with no talent whatsoever...or would you have to make a sex tape first..just asking!

I'm Downe. Are you?

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:53:00 +0000

I'm downe. Are you?

taken from UrbanDictionary:

DOWNE
Derived from the definition of "downlow" which was taken from the African-American Community. Brought in by the Filipino/Asian-American Male & Female LGBT community. Reinvented into the word "DownE" with a capital "E" expressed during the hype of the raving/exstacy scene which began to popularize in the early 90's. Giving those who are on the "downlow" a more open environment (i.e. E-parties.) Those using the term "DownE" also used it to seperate themselves from society's stereotype of a Gay Asian Male, as well as Gay Asian Female. As a means of communication. The internet played a major role in the growth in popularity for the word "Downe." With websites such as Downelink.com, the definition of "downe" is constantly changing. A good thing or a bad thing, take it as you will. From my opinion, the definition can't be found on any dictionary. Define it for yourself. Whether it be just another term for being Gay, Lesbian, Etc. or make it mean more to you than just a label.

GLEE

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:37:00 +0000

The much anticipated new show GLEE, on Fox, is going to finally hit airwaves next week and I am super-excited and have already Tivo'd it! Viewers got a chance to watch a director's cut this evening and of course I had to watch it. I really did not know what to accept, just that there was singing and great names on the show. My over-all reaction was...I LOVED IT! I laughed a few times and was so enthralled by the singing voices of the students at Mckinley High School's Glee Club. It has everything from "teen/chick flicks" that you could ask for, the jock with a heart, the popluar girl you love to hate, the nerd, the homosexual, diversity and a love story amongst the teachers. Ahhhh new favorite show, something funny to add with my collection on dramas and hospitals this is a nice change. If you haven't watched it yet, I suggest that on the 9th you put down what your doing and take an hour of your night to watch this show. loves it!

taken from FOX.com:

The series follows an optimistic teacher, WILL SCHUESTER (Matthew Morrison), who - against all odds and a malicious cheerleading coach - attempts to save McKinley High's Glee Club from obscurity, while helping a group of aspiring underdogs realize their true star potential. It's a tall order when the brightest stars of the group include KURT (Chris Colfer), a soprano who hits a high note in fashion; MERCEDES (Amber Riley), a larger-than-life diva with a voice to match; ARTIE (Kevin McHale), a geeky guitarist who rocks and rolls; and TINA (Jenna Ushkowitz), a punk rocker who hides behind her stutter and blue hair extensions.

Will is determined to do whatever it takes to make Glee great again.

Will's only hope lies with two true talents: RACHEL BERRY (Lea Michele), a self-proclaimed star who is convinced that MySpace and show choir and are her tickets to fame; and FINN HUDSON (Cory Monteith), the popular high school quarterback with movie star looks who must protect his reputation from his holier-than-thou girlfriend and "Cheerios" head cheerleader, QUINN (Dianna Agron), and his arrogant football teammate, PUCK (Mark Salling).

Everyone else around him thinks he's nuts. He's out to prove them all wrong.

Will is determined to do whatever it takes to make Glee great again, but his only ally is fellow teacher and germaphobe EMMA PILLSBURY (Jayma Mays). Everyone else around him thinks he's nuts - from his tough-as-nails wife TERRI SCHUESTER (Jessalyn Gilsig) to McKinley's scheming cheerleading coach SUE SYLVESTER (Jane Lynch) - but he's out to prove them wrong.

Featuring a soundtrack of hit songs from past and present, GLEE is produced by Ryan Murphy Television in association with 20th Century Fox Television. Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Ian Brennan are co-creators of the series. Murphy, Falchuk and Dante Di Loreto serve as executive producers, while Ian Brennan serves as co-executive producer. Murphy directed the pilot.

"sexual abuse is a learned behavior"

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:38:00 +0000

While watching the documentary, I love documentaries BTW, I could not help but find something to blame. Is it sane to always look for someone to blame, when problem happen? I could not help myself but think when different cultures arise in our society, there always has to be starting point. Now where does it start? My psychological mind weighs out all the options and of course I begin with nature vs. nurture? Does "rape culture" begin at home or do we learn it from our peers or the media.

To me the media is the easiest answer, the gold mind, the starting point! Although, the media respectably has a huge role in our behavioral process, we can not just blame them. Yes, I know sex sells and (yes) we do find ourselves getting enthralled by all the hype. Our parents and peers could be the blame, as adolescents kick in we are taught to think a certain way(usually stuff that fits our gender..and then the gender role debate begins). From birth we either wear blue or pink (sometimes green), our parents give us toys base soley on our gender, we are taught "big boys don't cry" and "girls should not play in mud, brush your hair a 100 times instead." Mentally we grasp what being a boy means and what being a girl means, but whnt does sexual abuse come to play.

Does it happen, because boys are taught to be aggressive and girls are taught to be submissive? We can equally blame both nurture and nature for these types of behavior, we can say it starts from home or its because there is so much sexual promiscuity happening on TV! Is that even a fair accusation to make, is that even fair for both the media and the parents.

The nature in which we are brought up, is the result in what we become (right?) Our home-life and surroundings play a huge role on how we view life and there is not simple answers on how to raise the perfect child. Sexual abuse happens in all classes in society. It does not matter if you were dirt poor or fed with a silver spoon.

I believe that sexual abuse is a learned behavior as with lying. There are things that we can do as a society that teach kids how to act within certain groups. It's not as easy as it sounds, but if we continue to teach our kids that men are only this way and women are only that way (yes, its still happens) then this battle of sexual abuse will never end. We can start by taking our "heads out of the sand," pretending that if we just don't think about it, than it will go away. Later acting like we are "deers caught in headlights," when happens close to home. We need to educate kids on social things and be more open about stuff, talking about sex and different sexualities will not unleash the cat from the bag (they will not turn gay or go whoring around, I promise you!)

Sexual Abuse, is a horrible thing, and I do not wish this on my worst enemy, but if we do not do something to stop it and if we keep trying to find someone to blame than cultures like this one will never end. We can blame Kid Rock, we can blame the media, we can blame parents...all these things are not helping the situation, we are just blaming!. Kids are so vulnerable...we should not restrict them from learning and educating themselves with knowledge other than school!. We should teach them about gender roles, what is right and what is wrong. We can allow them to have relationships with different classes and different genders. We can teach them that sexual abuse (in all its forms) is wrong, no matter what people tell you! If we listen to kids and our peers, than we can find and learn things from each other. I know it seems like all this has been said before, but if we open up conversation and let kids/peers speak about what their thinking than maybe we have a chance to teach them or praise them! COMMUNICATION and LISTENING is the key, well it should be the key, to raising wonderful children! We want (demand) so much from kids that no wonder they sometimes fall off the path and venture on to crazier and badder things. We can not lock up our kids or let them go, hoping for the best!

"Rape Culture" in the U.S. is apparent and it is not a new thing people, it has been happening since the dark ages! Sexual Abuse is manipulative, gross and disgusting. The power-struggle between male vs. female is ever so prominent now. Now that women are in power, now that men can be feminine...our society is in shambles and we cannot think that this will just blow over. People need to go with the flow and stop meddling with the Idea, " I am man, I have power...I am woman, I have babies".

some comments, taken from The Frisky.com:

"YES, the US is more of a rape culture than ever before. Everything has become sexualized. young girls are ostracized if they don’t give head to some young boy….yes, it IS about power.

There exists a train of thought that men are SO AFRAID of women and our personal power that they have to assert themselves in the lowest, basest form of manipulation to make themselves feel better about who they are.

Can you put the blame on parents? Not wholly, as peer pressure and the media are powerful tools of manipulation.

We CAN and SHOULD combat this thinking so we women can empower ourselves so that our whole being is accepted as equal partners and equal human beings in this and every society on the planet." -Ksdancer
"Rape cultures have existed for centuries. The Vikings raped the women in the villages they attacked because it was an attempt to breed out the enemy. Was it right? No. Was it about sex? No. Was it about power? Yes.

Rape is an effective power tool. It has been utilized in warfare since man first started having wars.

I think everyone is missing the point of what a few people were saying in the video—rape isn’t about sex, it is about power. That’s why there exists a rape culture in the Middle East and Africa—not because women are overly sexualized, but because the men are on a power trip.

Sex is out in front here in the US, and I do think that has desensitized us to it. But I don’t think that is the reason why we have “rape culture” it is because there is a power struggle." -writergirl
"I’ve actually discussed this very topic in multiple classes in college. I don’t think that we necessarily live in a rape culture; comparing our sex-culture to that of middle eastern countries where the concept of marital rape is nonexistent is… well… a little silly.

I think the issue at hand is that America, culturally, has a history of sublimating sex into violence. The number of films with frontal nudity in them is tiny in comparison to the number of films with graphic violence. You can’t see a naked breast on network TV, but you can certainly see a fight, or a mugging, or any number of violent acts.

On European television, contrariwise, you see nudity all the time. Commercials are full of it. In France, after 10 pm, anything goes. You can show pornography on TV and it’s perfectly legal. But European television has drastically less violence and gore.

We have problems with rape in a large part, I believe, because we’ve been taught so long to translate our sexual urges into violent urges. Violence is “natural” and “only to be expected” and “predictable,” while sex is “dirty” and “animal” and “shameful.”

We need to grow up as a culture and learn that, to paraphrase Heinlein, the naked body is sometimes pleasant, often disappointing, and never really important per se." -lareinedeslames

"Down the Rabbit Hole"

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:23:00 +0000

I.heart Justin Monroe and he is coming out with a new book called "Down the Rabbit Hole," in which he captures "celebrities" in raunchy, sexy fairy-tale themed images! yay coming out in November. names such as, Jessica Rabbit, Amanda Lepore, and Eric Rhodes are a few that worked with him for his upcoming book! =)

"Am I losing weight to eventually better my health?"

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 04:40:00 +0000

ahhh. media, media how I hate to love you.

Yes, this is true the media has changed the way society lives. Society has and will always shift with the underlying concepts that the media potrays and the biggest thus far aside from wealth is health. Every where you turn, you are confronted with the ideas of what looks hot and what look bombs. Isn't enough that the media fails to cover how the economy is changing the lives of the people, rather they focus on which next star is over-dosing or wearing the next best thing (that nowadays no one can seem to buy). Don't we hate the fact that the media can make or break someone! Why do we let ourselves get involved in such debauchry of the human spirit! We live to live, right! Lately it seems that we live to be like others, to be like the celebrities and reality stars that we see on TV! We hate them so much that we want to be like them!

I have recently been on a journey of trying to lose weight, but I was losing it for the wrong reasons and found myself defending my diet regimine and then going against. I was not happy with the way I perceived myself and caved in and wanted to be like a STAR, then a month later I hated that I could not eat whatever I wanted and stopped it.

SKINNY is the new key to success, fame and fortune. We never see anyone bigger than a size 3 get media air time, the stars who are curvy get media attention for losing weight and than there are those special ones who are nothing but a size 6 and then called "FAT".

Why do we allow ourselves to be taken by this and try to change who are...FAT people want to skinny, skinny people want to be FAT! its a loose loose situation. arrgh! I hate it!

I am afraid that I am going to be one of those fat people that preaches that I love my body and then loose weight and preach that I look better now than before, its a constant battle! It seems that no one will ever win.

Am I losing weight to eventually better my health? hopefully, one day I find the strength to finally admit that fact rather than believing if I loose weight than I will be successful!

why do I constantly feel the need to change the way I look, as If that is going to change who I am?

I have a loving boyfriend who loves who I am. David looked past the fat and saw me for me, why can't I do the same?

rant!

AM I BLAMING THE MEDIA FOR MY ROLLER COASTER DIET?

Island Life....

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 15:46:00 +0000

....in motion, just before we reached makawao. Camera went of as I was holding it and this is what it captured I like it....looks like its moving!

The Beautiful Life...naked!

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:44:00 +0000

Ashton Kutcher is invading our television sets again, no its not another version of PUNK'D and no we wont be seeing him on screen. Kutcher has produced a new series out Sept. 10 on CW, which looks into the lives of models, the not so glamorous life. After cameras and lights are put away the real person, aside from the facade they show, hits reality until there next big gig.

from the CW website:

The life of a high-fashion model appears glamorous and sexy, but as every new model quickly learns, behind the beautiful façade is a world of insecurity and cut-throat competition. Two teenage models who are about to discover this world for themselves are Raina Marinelli (Sara Paxton, "Last House on the Left"), a stunning beauty with a secret past, and Chris Andrews (Benjamin Hollingsworth, "The Line"), a strikingly handsome Iowa farm boy.

When Raina makes an unforgettable impression at a show introducing the new line from designer Zac Posen (appearing in a cameo role), she steals the spotlight from her friend Sonja Stone (Mischa Barton, "The O.C."). Sonja has been out of the country for mysterious reasons and is now desperate to reclaim her standing as the reigning supermodel. While Raina and Sonja live at the top of the fashion food chain, Chris is starting at the bottom, having just been discovered by an agent at the Covet Modeling Agency, which is owned by former supermodel Claudia Foster (Elle Macpherson, "Friends").

At his first photo shoot, Chris' inexperience almost derails his career until Raina comes to his rescue, showing him how to relax and work the camera. That afternoon, Raina brings Chris to the "models' residence" where she lives along with other young hopefuls, including Marissa Delfina (Ashley Madekwe, "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"), Isaac Taylor (Corbin Bleu, "High School Musical 2") and the current alpha-male-model known as Cole Shepherd (Nico Tortorella, "Twelve").

At an exclusive industry party that night, Chris is again impressed by Raina's generosity when she steps aside to make sure Sonja lands a job that will resurrect her career. However, after an ugly scene with an agent, Chris is left to question whether he can survive in this world of dangerous excess and fleeting fame.

I am not sure if I should go right now and start TIVO'ing this show, it seems far fetched and is so whats not it. ALL these damn teenagers and wannabe heiress only want to see the good life and not the bad one. pretending to be built on cash...umm these people are fake! I think I will end up watching the first episode and decide from there on if I want to watch more of it! Sounds interesting, seems like a mixture of 90210, models inc and Melrose place all put togehter! YES, ladies and gents I fit in that geneartion (early 90s)...what caught my eye tho' was all that promo photos! hot-ness..I mean come on, who is not going to watch a show with an ad like that...yes people SEX SELLS! people will watch it, regardless the story line!

"I feel like a virgin, when I put on my putiry lipstick!"

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:24:00 +0000

my new favorite YOU-TUBER is : GLORIA "GLOWPINKSTAH"

I stumbled across her page from some random website and fell in love with her satire-ish humor! I LOVE IT! I have not seen all the videos, but the ones that I have seen are freakin hillarious. The first time that I watched her, I was like is she for real! Then I saw her other videos and realized this B*tch be teasing them peoples! (my attempt to speak ghetto-ish, really bad FAIL!) I need to find more info on her all I have right now is that she is half mexican/half filipino and lives in CA (I think). Well girl keep bring them videos and we sure will be watching. She actually has a pretty big fan base, arrgh why haven't I heard of her before! .... you go girl. She is like the biggest "fruitfly" out there. Well not the biggest, but the ultimate..I.heart her and her little friends too. She and her friends have undoubtedly inspired me to make videos again, so expect more. I have no idea what happen to my other videos on youtube!!! hmm MYSTERY! but here is my youtube page.."youtube.com/andepascua"

FANGBANGERS!

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:21:00 +0000

Yes for all you twilight, true-blood, vampire fanatics who have wanted to experience the "FANGBANGING" experience then this item should be hidden in your top drawer or if your nasty enough than on top of your book-shelf! Tantus, maker of toys for the sexually proud and curious bystander, has brought back their sparkling dildo named "The Vamp" and why shouldn't they. Vampire lust is not only for the tweens nowadays but for every single girl that has landed their hands on the books or have seen them on TV have day dreamed or even dreamed about Vampires and I mean sexually of course, the fascination of Edward Cullen, Bill and Eric are of course sexually based and that is why they are so popular. These sex toy makers know what sells and they are good at that! =) "The Vamp" can be used hot or cold, but of course you females and males will be refrigerating your piece to get the "real" experience. I mean who wouldn't want to feel the coldness and stiffness of a Vampire in you...

but if me speaking about it isn't enough, click the link for a picture. OMG, I want...umm YEAH RIGHT! hmmm I wonder if any of my over indulgent, over whelming, vampire fanatics that I call friends already have one.. I WONDER!
*just think about a cold member entering you, as you close your eyes an imagine a vampire whispering sweet nothings to you...now all you need is someone to bite you and draw a little blood. Now wouldn't that be an experience. lol!

via dlisted

if your reading this...then you are sooo NAUGHTY!!

Im bad at getting back at people...

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 02:07:00 +0000

Yes I am a procrastinator when it comes to everything and I have yet to realize the consequences of my actions..=) I am trying my best to be on top of everything, oh I can only hear the jokes now..(I guess that was an easy one). I took a much need hiatus from blogging and realized that I was blogging for the masses rather than writing things that matter to me, common now as much of a multi-tasker as I am its hard to satisfy the hunger of you bloggers and supress the ideas of my mind, let alone write them all down in a way that we all can understand.

Because of the hiatus, I have not gotten back to all the comments that you guys have left and I am making way back into my post to assure that I comment each and everyone of you. If you have not noticed I changed my commenting box to satisfy my needs, all my comments come in as emails and I am able to see them all at one rather than individually. The site that I am using for this is called, "DISQUS" and it has had many rave reviews on it and was recommend by fellow bloggers. So there you have it, a little update on me and things that I have changed. Expect more juicy posts and more of me getting personal with it.

ahnday =)

my neices...

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Kristi and Reanne =)

World these are my neices...All the Barney, Elmo, BaBa action gets pretty crazy..but in all I love it! Yes, I love watching these two grow up. I love seeing how much they progress from not speaking to speaking, crawling to walking, crying to laughing. i love it! I love that they have different personalities, although being sisters they are recognizable by how they act and what they do!

How long must I be silent

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:09:00 +0000

Kayla and Kupono Addiction Contemporary SYTYCD - The most amazing videos are a click away

* I apologize in advance for the things said in here, but what can I say? I write what I feel...I feel what I write! =) lol...no seriously though, this was meant to be a rant a sort of release...a piece to calm my nerves and my ever so aching, analytical mind* Im addicted to my family and the drama they bring!

How long must I be silent about the things that have happened in my life? (cue the violinist, please!!) I
just saw an episode of the Real World Cancun and as much as I oppose to watching shows like this (thats a lie, hahahahaha) I can not help but watch it for the dramatics. Even though shows like this one might not be real, whatsoever, I can not help but find some truth in situations that occur on the show, in particular the episode that I just watched!

The anger that stems inside of me is caused by the people that I love the most "my family"...how far is to far and how close is to close? Granted that not all members of my family have affected me one bit and I am actually glad that I am having the chance to actually spend more time with the madre side and I am grateful for the connections on my padre side! =)

As I move forward into the future, I can not help but think about the past ( i know, i know that is the worst possible thing that anyone could do is focus on the past). As much as people do not want to admit it, WORDS HURT! They are like time bombs waiting to explode, at first they don't hurt you, but as time goes by it explodes and you get one of those ANGRY/HURT moments that seem to last a lifetime. And for this reason I have been running away all my life, pretending that things will be fine and believing that statement "out of sight, out of mind!" When will I stop running away? Have I really forgiven the people in life? This is not meant to put anyone on blast, but I have been thinking about this for quite sometime and it seems that posting on FBOOK (personally, I hate involving my personal life on here..well the major ones) but as I type this I find some sort of release, some sort of freedom, some sort of ease off my shoulders!

To watch people HATE, without thinking about the consequences or the hurt that they cause among people is disturbing to me. I for one do not like how FAMILY can be "too busy"...how FAMILY can say one thing, than mean the other and take side as if we are friends. (I can only hear now, DRAMA QUEEN...LIAR...) I laugh and I joke and I have this facade about me that always seems to portray that I am fine, but people don't realize that I hurt, I cry, I bleed! Yes, I can take a joke and I have been known not to let things get to me and just go along for the ride, but sometimes my walls fall.

I remember, out of nowhere, I was at a college get together with a few people I knew and a few that I did not know and a girl comes to me and says, "HEY, how are you? I noticed that your always smiling, but there is something more to that. I can tell by looking into your eyes that your hurting." I was shocked and of course overwhelmed with it. How did this girl see it? Who is this B*tch, telling me how I feel? But then I sat with her and we talked, about my life and about what I have been threw. This was the beginning of my revelation, my Epiphany...the begging of not being silent!

Usually when I speak about my life, people tend to pity me or they just don't understand how I can be so HAPPY/ CALM/ RELAXED/ FUN with the things that have happened to me as a child! I admit I was happy all through High School and College, despite all the events that happened to me (losing my brother when he was 9, having the man that raised me die on Christmas, etc.) through all that though I kept a smile on my face and dealt with it later because that's what I knew what to do, from a young age I learned to keep silent and just SMILE..SMILE through the pain, make everyone else feel wanted, make them feel special! Run Away from what you feel, to make others happy! This particular night though I felt the urge to do something, to STOP running away (or have I? ). Face the parade that was coming towards me in full force and CRY..this was the one of the first times that I have cried, the actual cry, the cry to relieve the stress, the cry that you get when you hurt, they cry that seems to never stop and can continue on for decades to come. I finally cried about the pain that has been harboring in me, the loss of my brother, the lost of my grandpa, the hurt of my childhood.

Crying never felt so good to me, I don't cry because I do not want to believe that I am weak! I don't cry, because I feel like they win and I don't! I cry now, because I still let my family affect me!!!! (there are going to be things said that will hurt people or what not and I do care but I have never felt such a thrill writing this piece right now!) Although I do not want to say everything about me for the FBOOK ohana to read...I am going to say this though...I remember going to college and seeing my friends have the support they needed from their family and having me not having any at that time, I remember laughing and enjoying my new college life and being jealous that moms and dads call their kids to check up on them! I remember getting mad at those who took their parents for granted, not relaizing that some of us don't have that. I will never forget the time I heard, "Well since you guys have no family and we do then we should just hang out separately" Feelings that I have ran away from hit me at 17 years old, living on OAHU and the only thing I knew to do was laugh, SMILE, have fun and occasionally defend me or was it defend others! ...you can always deal with things later and just have good time and create wonderful memories!( I have many..) It worked, it lasted till I was about 20 years old..I had to find a way to keep my feelings secret, no one could know what I was thinking, why I was hurting...so I turned to writing. In English class, in psychology I would write papers like diary entries to reveal my inner thoughts to let go of what I was feeling,things that never seemed to have escaped as much as I tried to run away from it, storing them in the back of my head for later use! ..although, I did trick myself into thinking that it did work, lonely night and being in your head too long brings back EVERYTHING pain and all.

I remember writing a paper in English titled, "why?" which talked about a boy asking his mother since he was 5 up until she took him in at 13, "Mom, can I live with you?" and always being shut down..."Your not part of this family, you don't mix well with us, I am not going to have a son who looks like that" continuously every single birthday, the only wish he had when he blew his candles out was for his mother to LOVE him! I wrote another paper for my psychology class, "Confused" sexual identity is a bitch and knowing that people will STOP loving you because you swing one way is pretty scary and threw this class I WON the courage to accept LOVE for what LOVE is ( my mentality was LOVE is with WHOMEVER makes you happy, because many of us trained that boy should date girl and that all) and I LOST a few people, that mattered to me! ( I even have an uncle, according to his daughter that he wants to kick my ass because I am gay, oh that's his only reason!) I wrote another paper, "Its all about the money," in which a boy is tormented by his father to choose him, if the judge asks CHOOSE me! Going to his house and being forced to choose him!!! why? never understood it, never will! The one thing that did come out of it was, yes it was a relief, I did learn to count my blessings and at age 20 I forgave, I conjured up a list and forgave the people that hurt me, I forgave the misguided, manipulative actions that people had! the hurt they cause I forgave...but i NEVER will FORGET!

As much as I would like to say that my life now is all freakin pixie dust and unicorns shitting rainbows, its not! It never seems to phase me that WORDS will hurt forever and its the way I overcome them that will! I have distance myself for reason from people and have realized that things are not permanent. I am constantly on a battlefield with some of my ever so lovely **** (guess it, and if you think its you than maybe it is) about something new about my life or theirs. Maybe I brought it upon myself, maybe I intimidate you, maybe just maybe?

Referring back to the show...situations that you put yourself in can bring out the worst in you and for now I would like to take myself out and hope for the better. Sorry, for being blunt, but I am not going to continue to allow myself to be bamboozled by silly-ness and immaturity! I have never agreed, well at-least now, talking behind someones back and then being nice to their face, secrets, and blowing this out of proportion just to get a story our of it and continuing the drama regardless the many attempts to mellow everything out. I am over it! I got too many things going for me right now and I just realized that I went threw shit and do not need shit to be brought back!

Many people do not agree with the way I do things, but I have always said that being truthful and just saying what you feel is the key, but not when what you say can be changed to what they hear! I have always taken shit talking with a grain of salt, but when its family (oh boy.....) I overcame many things in my life and learned many things, I am going to always love my family because they just are my family, but sometimes its too painful to see the ones you WANT to love, not LOVE you back. I can only hear it now, the many quotes (drama queen, liar, center of attention, worthless, whatever, im too busy for this, your so gay) that slipped their lips into my ear, that was meant to be a joke, but in return caused tears and anger to combine and now all I got to say is Fuck it!

My silence is over...My mind continuously thinks about the meaning of family, the meaning of friendship, the meaning of loyalty. MY heart melts that it might not ever happen...but I will continue to walk this earth. the only way I know how! WITH MY CHIN UP!

I am grateful for all the people that I have met in my life and I cam grateful for the blessings that I have, I will always be the one with the mouth, the analytical one, the funny one, the shy one (sometimes)! I will continue to empathize with those around me and I will continue to spread my love to those who want to GET TO KNOW ME!

*granted that I wrote this after the show and that I should have been sleeping, this post was a much needed one and I guess expect more...HAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! HA! usually this would go in my BLOG, but since I dont have one at the moment..its in my notes for later use!

"What shall I offer O' lord, for all that you have done for me"

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:08:00 +0000

"What shall I offer O' lord, for all that you have done for me"

My cousin wrote this on her Face book status and it got me thinking, I am by far not a religious kind of person so there might be things said that will offend you Christians. The story about my faith and what I believe begins like this, I was baptize a christian, raised catholic, went to a a bible study for Jehovah, became atheist and now an agnostic. So yeah I guess you can say that I have made a come around from what I believe in and what I hole true to thy self. As a kid growing up, I was part of the "Sunshine company," where kids from all over the island get together and have a version of Church. This was the better part of my finding God scenario, the free gifts and the teachings of the lord was fun and exciting. Then I went from there to Catholic and I was bored out of my mind and also dipped my feet with the whole Jehovah thing. My experience in both of these things were not bad at all, I actually found peace and comfort with things that they were saying, well versions of the bible that they would interpret seemed to fit my life back then. To make a long story short, a situation occurred and no one gave me a real and direct answer, it was a bunch of run rounds and circles, which to me was unacceptable. By that time I was 15 an not really looking or searching for GOD, I had the superiority complex (normal for people my age) and Church and GOD was not on my list of things that I liked. So imagine me a boy at 15, trying to find where he belonged in a long list of things that I could have turned out to be, questioning my sexuality and having that damn question in my mind, "Why does God take people we love away from us and keep horrible people?" mind you that my brother died when he was 9, due to a misdiagnoses from a doctors! arrgh! I have not gotten over that and I am not sure I will get over it! The sisters at church kept saying, "it was his time to go" and in my head I was like why, why him and not me! The priest had nothing too add but, "Your brother is in a safe place now," safe really away from his family as we grieve our loss! Remember I was 15 at that time and did not understand, nor will I ever understand, the word of the lord. No one was real with me, yes I was 15, but I did not need generic answers, I wanted a truthful answer and never got one. I for one have invested many years trying to search for an answer to calm mind that is filled with many thoughts. Granted I have not truly accepted his death, I still have unanswered questions, but the way I feel about it now is different from what I felt before. I have more of an understanding of God, but yet the people that preach his words get under my skin! The word of the lord, according to "Maragaret Cho" (which by the way, I think the same) is that the lord does not want assholes in the world! As simple as it sounds, it makes sense, the stories and songs ask for forgiveness and help and the context that people use it say other wise. The ability for prechers and followers to praise many different beliefs of the Bible makes me sick and I can not believe that people WILL GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HURT ONE ANOTHER and use the word of the lord! The man that scarificed for his people, would have understood the changing times and look at "his" people and praise love for one another. Instead of having prophets teach LOVE and FORGIVENESS they in return teach HATE and MISUNDERSTANDING! so for now I am agnostic and I believe in HIM, but will not follow any commericlized religion.

So to get with the quote (I know that was a long explanation before the post, huh?)

I appreciate the things that "HE" does for people and the belief system that he instills in peoples lives, but I don't think he wants you to offer him anything. God is like Super Super Hero of any story and usually they do what they do because it benefits people. For me, all I can say is "HE" has taught me too think for myself and apperciate my life for what ever it is worth. The Forgiveness and Love that I share with others, shows in my way life. "HE" has given me the ability to look forward and not things really affect me. Being that I have been around major religions, I appreciate that the motivation people get from there "motivational speakers" are uplifitng and in sense helps them. I for one just appreciate in knowing that there is someone there and love that I get to lay my BS problems and let my mind rest at the end of night. So thank you for the courage that is instilled in me and the fact that, I know you want people to LOVE and not HATE! OH BTW, ummm really guys using the word of the lord do defend your opinion is the same as using the lords name in VAIN!

So you think you can dance top 14 perform!

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:48:00 +0000

Yay, I love Wednesdays and I hate Thursdays...The babes and I watched the top 14 last night and fell in love with most of the performances, I have been saying this for the past few weeks, "this has to be the best season yet, so much potential and great dancers on the show." Although, the performances were good the bottom three will be a hard one to pick it out and I must add that this show is more of popularity contest rather than a dance competition! Well again, this Americas (teenie girls) favorite dancer! I actually like the technique part rather than who is the cutest or hottest! As much as my partner, I love Sonya Tayeh and her creative mind and I also loved loved loved the story behind Karla and Vitolio's dance.. It was just an awesome night and oh BTW I teared when Brandon was crying...lol...so here are some videos for you guys! just two of them... Kayla and Kupono and Karla and Vitolio's piece. Another performance that I liked because I am weird were Caitlyn and Jason's performace. Brian Friedman has an out of this world mind and I love it. hahahahaha.. okay well enjoy the videos!

Rick and Steve

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:49:00 +0000

This is by far the sexiest of all the men and the way hottest. =) We have been watching this show on Logo and it has to be the funniest show ever. Will with this kind of stop motion animation, I really love that they incorporated a Filipino character and even make fun of it! Like how we all do with the big fork and spoon thing...awww you have to watch it to believe it...Other than they are sexy right? lol

Boyce Avenue

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:26:00 +0000

I remember stumbling on these guys when I was searching youtube for singers online. I have this fascination about talented people and love it when they actually have some skills, on youtube you find so many people that try so hard to dance, sing and whatever and they usually miss the mark. So I was super excited about this group and had to tell all my friends about them, I have forgotten about them for a couple of months until today when I searched youtube and found them again...so now I am going to be sharing them with you guys, my faithful readers and followers. =)

Here is a little background on them: (taken from there official site boyceavenue.com)
Boyce Avenue, a Florida-based band popular for its strong acoustic roots and melodic rock sound, consists of the three brothers Alejandro, Fabian, and Daniel Manzano. The band first came together in 2000, when Alejandro (lead vocals, guitar, piano) and Fabian (guitar, vocals), then 14 and 16 years old, respectively, started playing guitar. Within 3 months, Alejandro and Fabian took to the stage with their older brother Daniel (bass, percussion, vocals), then 20 years old, to perform before an audience of over 350 at a Pine View High School show. This would be the first of many public performances for the band at the school where its members had all been students together throughout their childhoods.
I am so happy that they are slowly getting bigger and better and I must say that they are not bad looking either! These are the stars to watch, I remember falling in love with "Cute is What we Aim for" and "Ryan Huston" before they got big, so hopefully these boys will follow all these other bands and make it big.

here is an official video of them:

Ben Affleck

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 00:44:00 +0000

So the babes and I was watched "Bounce" last night and OMG, Ben Affleck was hot in that video! awww I love it when he cried he was so cute in it and for that my Sexy Saturday choice for this week is Ben Affleck! yay !

Im fucking Ben Affleck

#SYTYCD top 18 results show

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 23:52:00 +0000

I know that I am little bit late on this, but I figured that I would shed my OPINION on this weeks results show! Lets first start things off with the group performance that was choreographed by Mia Micheals. I for one thought that it was ca clever idea to mix in , Maori in it! I love the sticking out of the tongues and the hard-hitting footsteps of dancers! The more I watch it though, the more I dislike Phillip. Watching him dance with the group, he stood out the most, not because he was great or anything, but he was a distraction because he was was too smooth and not so hard. I am a huge Phillip fan and it is sad to say, but the only thing he is good in is his one genre (or as Lil C would say it gen RAHS!). The others were great though and thought that the girls were in character and hitting it hard. ( says the person without any dance experience!! lol)

Before I move on with the results OMG wasn't the guest dancer AH-MAZ-ing, I was so intrigued by her movement that I stopped eating and lost my appetite! She kept going and going, I thought she was not going to stop! WOW! that is all I have to say is WOW! in the video she is towards the end of the clip! =)

Now with the results after a nauseating lip sync performance by "what's her name?" I thought that solos were great and felt that Kayla was not that good, she seemed a little rushed or tried to put so much in such little time. For the Guys, I think that Kupono and Max, struggled with their solos...Kupono for some reason kept sticking his ass out and the build up for Max was not that great! It really wasn't! Oh no I can only imagine all the hater comments, bring it!

there is all this hoop-lah now about sending MAX home...seriously guys. Because of the popularity of the teenie boppers on the show, it seems that looks are a great deal rather than style of dance. Max/Kayla as much of pair they are it seemed that Kayla was the leader in both numbers and Max was just lucky to even be paired with her! Well thats my opinion and I think that the judges made the right choice! This is Americas Favorite (not Best ) dancer and the judges are letting room for dancers to grow and sorry to say but Kupono is versatile and will grow! So stop haters and just enjoy the show doe what it is and BTW Lacey I like that you have opinion, but do not knock down the show that gave you your popularity! YOU are OFFICIALLY not so FIERCE, I still like that filipino girl on DWTS!

Carmen, Miley and LC...are you serious?

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:46:00 +0000

The more I look at Miley, LC and Carmen.. I can not help but think that they have the same stylist! They all look the same! I am not sure if it is just me, I know they have different features, but there overall look seems to match. Carmen the mother, LC the sister and Miley the daughter of Carmen...LOL! This is a Random posts so bare with it, but I wanted to know what you think?

#SYTYCD: Max's bulge, Karla and Jon best of the night and LOVING SONYAH TAYEH!

andepascua@hotmail.com (Ande."ahnday".Pascua) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:14:00 +0000

The Top 18 performed, all dancers are good, but the performances were a disappointment! From all 9 couples only three stood out to me, of course the weird ones stood out Thank you Sonyah Tayeh and Brain Friedman for letting the world in your head and showing off your masterpiece. I am usually up for Hip Hop, but Shane Sparks totally blows and found NO connection with his dancers, a true choreographer works with his dancers! If the dancers do not dance well to your work, than it automatically puts you at the bottom. Granted that the dancers who dance never had done hip-hop, it is the choreographer jobs to work with them, because they are the ones who are representing your work to the public, NO! sorry went on a little rant! Other than that you would think that the normal genres of dance would suffice to the public, but it seems that only one of the couples who dance "contemporary" made a peiece that was beautiful. Incomparable to Mia Micheals pieces, but Tookey did a great Job and truly brought out emotion in both Karla and Jon! I was really surprised in them both and hope that none of my three favorites make it to the top. I want the hip hop routines to go down in flames, Shane Sparks you sort of sucked last night..sorry! Lyrical Hip Hop is starting to grow on me! =)
I have an ish about people and their voting, it seems that people are not fond of Karla Garcia and I don't get it. It seems that people are basing it on her looks and not her technique, but then again this show is Americas Favorite Dancer and not Americas Best Dancer! Hopefully people grow up and see that Caitlin and Asuka are not versatile dancers and their quite sloppy and that Kupono and Vitolio do not have the charisma to make it in the dance world! ..hmm another rant, this has to be a record.

Please Vote on their performance and techniques...and do not to BOTOX! I love expression! really!

No for Videos. by ranking:

#1 Karla and Jon- "contemporary" by Stacey Tookey.

#2 Max and Kayla - "Pop Jazz" by Brian Friedman
Did you see his bulge through his clothes..LOL! I was cracking up!

#3 Ade and Melissa -"Jazz" by Sonyah Tayeh