Balanced Energy, Balanced Life

2013-10-08T13:11:00.002-04:00

AGE-PROOF YOU SKIN WITH THESE....

2013-08-22T15:39:00.000-04:00

Look-younger foods!
You've heard the old adage "You are what you eat." And now science is proving it's actually true, especially when it comes to your looks! So you can stop spending money on pricey skin creams-finding the Fountain of Youth is as easy as indulging in these delicious summer foods!

Cherries
make you bikini-beautiful!
Are you one of the 24 million Americans with varicose veins? Try some cherries or blueberries! "Varicose veins occur when the veins weaken and lose elasticity, causing blood to pool," explains Luis Navarro, M.D., of the Vein Treatment Center in New York City. But dark-colored berries contain anthocyanins and proanthocyanins, two compounds that strengthen vein walls and boost blood circulation. In one study, these nutrients improved varicose veins within just 60 minutes, and the effect was still prominent four hours later!

Avocados
wipe out wrinkles!
Want to turn back the clock and say goodbye to wrinkles? Eat an avocado! Israeli research found its compounds-including fatty acids and vitamins E, C and K-boost collagen in the skin, decreasing wrinkling and sagging, and plumping up fine lines. Avocados are also one of the few food sources of sterolins, proven to reduce age spots, heal scars and encourage cell turnover! Just eat a few each week to get the benefit from the inside out, or mash one up and apply topically as a facial mask.

Dark chocolate
reduces roughness!
In a German study, women given a chocolate drink each morning for three months had better skin texture, less roughness and 25% less redness when exposed to UV light than those who weren't, thanks to its wallop of anti-aging flavonoids! To get the same benefit, indulge in a few ounces a day of dark chocolate that contains at least 70% cacao, like Hershey's Special Dark, since it has the most flavonoids.

Peaches
give you a peachy glow!
You really can get a "peaches and cream" complexion just by eating them, promises Maoshing Ni, Ph.D., author of Second Spring. Research at the University of California at Davis found peaches-as well as nectarines and plums-are packed with specific phytochemicals that protect skin cells and counteract damage from UV rays and aging, leading to more elastic, smoother, and younger skin! "They also give a nice, rosy glow to your complexion, which makes you look radiant," he says.

Pistachios
keep off pounds!
Worried about looking good at the beach? Just have some pistachios! The fatty acids in these nuts stimulate production of cholecystokinin, a hormone that sends an "I'm full" signal to the brain. They're also packed with calming magnesium and B vitamins that increase GABA levels, an amino acid that eases anxiety and balances brain chemicals-so you're less likely to want to snack!

Sugar snap peas
keep skin moist!
These crunchy summer staples are loaded with two potent phytonutrients-lutein and zeaxanthin-that strengthen skin cells so they can lock in moisture. An Italian study found these two nutrients-also found in Kale, spinach and broccoli-make skin 20% more elastic and a full 60% more hydrated in just 60 days! Sugar snaps are also rich in vitamin A, which scientists at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem in Israel found clears complexions and reduces pores in as little as two weeks.

Walnuts
erase dark circles!
Didn't get enough sleep? Snack on some walnuts! They're packed with the amino acid arginine, which relaxes blood vessels and improves circulation throughout the body. Walnuts also contain skin-smoothing vitamin E, and they're one of the few non-fish food sources of omega-fatty acids, which fight the inflammation that causes undereye circles and puffiness.

Next Page: A HAPPIER YOU!----->

Created by Sindy Williams

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's Day Magazine August 2009

A HAPPIER YOU!

2013-08-20T13:43:00.000-04:00

Women are twice as likely as men to feel blue, even downright depressed! But not you-not once you know the new science that reveals simple ways to make every day sunnier! So go ahead...enjoy every day more by. . .

Shooing away the a.m. blahs with cereal!
In a study at Britain's Cardiff University, volunteers who ate a high-fiber breakfast cereal (one with at least 6 grams of fiber) reported feeling more upbeat, less stressed and more eager to face the day than those who ate a typical high-protein egg-and-bacon meal!
Here's why: Fiber helps steady blood sugar, eliminating the highs and lows that can leave you blue, and according to study author Andrew Smith, Ph.D., it also "flushes away chemicals and other polutants that build up in your system and affect your mood and brain function!"

Turning on inspiring tunes to turn up bliss!
Sure, listening to your favorite music makes you feel good, and listening to emotionally charged songs-the ones that send shivers down your spine, such as Susan Boyle's rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" on Britain's Got Talent-ratchets up feelings of bliss the most, say Canadian researchers, who used state-of-the-art brain scans to measure music's effects on emotions.Here's why: Researchers say that uplifting music activates the same pleasure centers in the brain that narcotic drugs activate, giving you, literally, an all-natural "high"!

"Beautiful Day" by U2
YouTube.com/watch?v=mSZv9KKf0g0
"Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & The Waves
YouTube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U
"I Feel Good" by James Brown
YouTube.com/watch?v=U5TqIdff_DQ

Erasing PMS moodiness with a siesta!
If you hate the emotional ups and downs that come a week before your period, grab your pillow! In a University of Ottawa study, women who took a 30-minute midday snooze every day during that week had fewer premenstrual mood swings than women who simply relaxed for the same amount of time.
Here's why: Changing estrogen levels the week before menstruation make nighttime sleep less restful, leaving you irritable in the a.m., says study coauthor John De Koninck, Ph.D. Luckily, a nap is all you need to feel refreshed again!

Reducing anxiety by reading a magazine!
Just be sure not to skip the health articles! A new University of Alabama study uncovered a link between how easily women can access and understand health information and their happiness! In vact, those with the least medical know-how were more than twice as likely to be unhappy-regardless of whether they actually had any current health problems!
Here's why: Being up-to-date on the best self-care strategies makes you feel more in control of your life, which study after study links to higher happiness scores, explains Erik Angner, Ph.D.

Gossiping to dodge depression!
A surprising Swedish study found that folks with no close office pals are much more likely to take leaves for stress-related illnesses than folks with co-workers they can confide in. And a study from the University of Michigan shows that dishing with others helped boost subjects' well-being and slash anxiety levels-making chitchatting a super-effective, all-natural alternative to antidepressant medications!
Here's why: Sharing with others boosts your body's production of two feel-good brain chemicals, serotonin and dopamine. Plus, telling someone about situations that you find upsetting triggers a drop in cortisol, a stress hormone that invites negativity and fatigue.

Speeding up to feel more energized!
It's hard to be peppy when you're down-but moving at a snails pace is a sure-fire way to fuel an unhappy mood, according to a joint Princeton-Harvard study. Volunteers who agreed to whisk through various chores experienced a surge in elation and creativity, while those who did them at the regular speed felt far less positive and more sluggish.
Here's why: Moving at a fast pace stimulates electrical activity in areas of the brain responsible for alertness, which has a beneficial effect on mood and energy!

Next Page: GUT INSTINCTS------->;

Created by Sindy Williams

The above information was taken from an article written by Gabrielle Lichterman in Woman's Day Magazine August 2009

WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE?

2013-08-15T08:41:00.001-04:00

Next Page: KISS ANXIETY GOODBYE----->

Created by Sindy Williams

The above information was taken from an article written by Meghan Rabbitt in Prevention Magazine August 2007

SOME IDEAS

2013-08-12T14:43:00.000-04:00

Next Page: HOLISTIC HEALING----->

Created by Sindy Williams

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's World Magazine August 2009

HOLISTIC HEALING!

2013-08-10T11:38:00.000-04:00

Worried about the side effects of medicine you might take to ease pain? Try some "common scents" first! The latest research shows pleasant smells don't just make you feel good; they also have the power to relieve even chronic pain, says Susan Shields, R.N., director of the cancer program at Harris Methodist Fort Worth Hospital, where patients receive aromatherapy to supplement traditional medical treatment! Curious about what aromatherapy can do for what's ailing you?

Next Page: YOUR HOME IS YOUR HAVEN----->

Created by Sindy Williams
The above information was taken from an article written by Jeffry O'Brien in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

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YOUR HOME IS YOUR HAVEN

2013-08-07T15:57:00.001-04:00

Fill your home with decorator

Forget what you've heard about color! The new theory? You can use your favorite hue to enhance any room - if you pick the right shade, says Barbara Richardson of AkzoNobel paints!

Got a shady north-facing room? Choose colors in full-bodied vibrant tones to brighten up the space!

Grab the sun!

Yellow is a color that reflects light, so it can appear even brighter than white. Rich buttery yellows bring a cozy warmth to a room and look good with reds, blues and greens.

Tip: Use yellow in window treatments, rugs, and accents if you can't commit to painting a whole wall.

Pretty playful!

Vibrant rose enlivens a space and evokes a mood that's playful and comforting. Tip: Studies show that bright pinks increase enthusiasm and confidence!

Crisp, cool and calm!

Leafy and apple greens feel fresh and calming, so they're a good choice for rooms where the family gathers.

Juicy fruit hue! Rich apricot tones are stimulating - without being overwhelming - and punch up neutral furnishings and wood tones.

Next Page: ENERGIZE YOUR SUMMER---->

Created by Sindy Williams

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

SOME IDEAS

2013-08-06T06:57:00.000-04:00

Next Page: FEELING LUCKY?---->

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

FEELING LUCKY?

2013-07-31T14:46:00.000-04:00

Know someone who always seems to get what she wants? Scientists have studied lucky people to find out what makes them so fortunate. The surprising news, reveals Marc Myers, author of How to Make Luck: It has nothing to do with chance, and everything to do with your mind-set! So what do lucky people do right - and how can you benefit?

Next Page: NEWS YOU SHOULD KNOW---->;

The above information was taken from an article written by Amy Capetta in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

NEWS YOU SHOULD KNOW!

2013-07-30T11:43:00.000-04:00

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC)

Next Page: STAY IN THE KNOW---->

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

STAY IN THE KNOW!

2013-07-26T11:45:00.001-04:00

Sleep problems? Try this!
Tired? Snoring so loud your partner complains? You could have sleep apnea, a condition that makes breathing difficult during slumber. Luckily, researchers have pinpointed an easy solution: Tone up saggy throat muscles by exercising your tongue! Sleep apnea patients who did that - by brushing their tongue with a toothbrush; or by putting the tip of their tongue on the soft palate, sliding it backward and pronouncing vowels - 30 minutes a day for three months, reduced the severity of their apnea by 39%, snored less and slept more soundly, according to researchers.

Heat-proof your kids!
If your kids love to play in the sun, listen up: Youngsters are at a higher risk than adults for dehydration, heat exhaustion and heatstroke. They sweat less and are more prone to absorbing heat, explains Matthew Beekley, Ph.D., coordinator of the Exercise Science Program at the University of Indianapolis. To keep them safe, he advises.....

* Practicing "pre"-hydration! Children need to drink four to eight ounces of fluids prior to playing sports or exerting themselves; that way, they have enough liquid to sweat out form the very start! And during play, they should drink about four ounces every 15 to 20 minutes, if at all possible.

* Keeping a close eye on husky kids! Overweight kids should be watched more closely for signs of heat-related illness; excess fat acts as insulation, trapping heat in the body.

Pay 25% less at the grocery store!
You know that switching from name-brand to store-brand cereal, canned fruit, frozen veggies, paper towels and other foods and products can cut your grocery bill by about 25%....but you don't want to skimp on quality, right? Not to worry: A new survey reveals that seven out of 10 shoppers who try them are "highly satisfied" with their store-brand purchases!

Boost your brainpower!
Stepping back - literally! - from a problem can help your brain find a solution. In a study, adults answered questions on a test faster and more accurately after they took a step backward than when they took a step forward or to the side. Turns out, stepping backward signals your brain that there's a problem, making it go on high alert, which helps you think faster and more clearly.

MedTipster.com

Next Page: 5 TIPS TO MAKE YOU HEALTHIER--->;

The above information was taken from an article written in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

5 TIPS TO MAKE YOU HEALTHIER!

2013-07-18T12:36:00.000-04:00

1Beating the blues helps dodge sniffles!
Even a bout of mild depression can throw your immune system out of whack and leave you vulnerable to illnesses like summer colds, reports the Archives of General Psychiatry. If the doldrums last longer than two weeks, ask your doctor for help alleviating them.

2Pregnant? Don't take ginseng!
Although it's sometimes recommended as a treatment for morning
sickness, researchers at the Chinese University of Hong Kong found
that a chemical in the herb (ginsenoside) may harm a developing fetus.

3Sidestepping smoke helps keep you sharp
Regularly inhaling tobacco fumes increases your risk of dementia and other cognitive problems by 44%, according to the British Medical Journal.

4Aspirin lowers diabetes risk
Taking any dose of aspirin daily cuts your risk of diabetes by 14%, according to a new Japanese study of more than 22,000 people. (Check with your doctor before popping the painkiller regularly.)

5Are energy drinks good for you?
Not if you have high blood pressure or heart disease, say doctors from Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. Their new study found that downing two cans of the drinks - which contain caffeine, sugars, vitamins and other nutritional supplements - raises blood pressure 7% and heart rate as much as 11%.

The above information was taken from an article in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

6 IDEAS TO HELP YOU LOOK GREAT THIS SUMMER!

2013-07-18T11:40:00.001-04:00

1Age-proof your hands!

Studies show that just slipping on a gemstone ring (real or faux) makes people perceive your hands as years younger, because the facets reflect light and brighten your skin!

2Make your flip-flops more comfortable!

Prevent the "toe posts" on your flip-flops and thong sandals from chafing between your toes with clear gel cushions, which also pad the balls of your feet! Find them at Solutions.com for $7.98 right now if you buy 2 you can get a $1 off each or FootwearEtc.com for $9.99.

3Wear your tunic to work!

Wish you could wear your breezy cotton tunics to the office? You can - just layer on a bold necklace in a color that matches the fabric or picks up the pattern. Large beads or chain links have the most polished effect!

4Get yourself a multi-season purse!

Searching for a handbag that will look trendy for the rest of the summer and into the fall? Pick navy! It pops against white and denim for a warm-weather nautical look, but also looks amazing with fall's rich browns and burgundies!

5Tame your towel!

Bring along a long piece of ribbon to secure your towel to your beach chair so it won't fly away, or pick up beach towel anchors at BeachTimeProducts.com for $14.99!

6Look amazing in photos!

If you're having your photo taken indoors or at night, always pose near the closest light source, such as a lamp or window. The more ambient light surrounding your face, the more radiant and awake you'll appear!

The above information was taken from an article in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

COOL OFF AND DE-STRESS

2013-07-17T16:52:00.001-04:00

1Be cool as a cucumber - for real!
Cucumbers are mostly water, so eating them helps prevent the fatigue and stress linked to dehydration. Plus, cucumber seeds contain the amino acid cucurbitin, which has anti-inflammatory, moisture-regulating, soothing properties!

2 Refresh with a long, hot soak!
A hot bath not only relaxes you, it cools you off by pulling heat out of your body and into the water. Bonus: When you step out of the hot water, the air around you feels nippy!

3 Take the edge off with a bit of blue!
Because we associate blue with positive images, such as blue skies and blue water, seeing it makes you feel calmer and more upbeat, studies show. And wearing the hue helps protect you from the sun: New York University research shows blue blocks UV light, boosting your sun protection by up to 500%!

4 Beat the heat with peppermint gum!
Chewing gum releases tension by relaxing tight jaw and facial muscles, while the icy, fresh scent of peppermint helps calm your nervous system; it's potent enough to quiet cravings, quell nausea and ease headaches, too!

5 Subdue stess with a cold soda can!
Soothe aching overheated feet by rolling them over an icy cold water bottle. Or hold the bottle against your neck. It will cool a main artery, helping you feel 10 to 15 degrees cooler instantly!

The above information was taken from an article in Woman's World Magazine July 2009

Power of the Master

2013-06-09T15:00:00.002-04:00

Balanced Energy, Balanced Life

2012-03-06T06:25:00.001-05:00

When we think about energy we usually think about the energy we use to power our car, or our house, or even our body, but, the energy that I am talking about is the energy that powers our life. We use this energy everyday without even being aware of it. This kind of energy is the energy we feel when we walk into a room where two people have been fighting, and even though they may not be speaking, there is an energy in the room. Most people will even say, “the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife”. This is the same energy that surrounds two people who are madly in love, then, we might hear the phrase, “Love is in the air”. There is no denying that this energy exist, we feel it all the time, but, it’s just not something that is acknowledged all the time.

In our life, this is the energy that drives us to take action. This energy is what gives us the desire to fulfill our basic needs for, food, clothing and shelter, which also includes the need to connect to humanity and the environment. This energy is what pushes us to be a creative and powerful force, using our sexuality and creativity together with our power and sensitivity to accomplish our goals in life. Its what gives us our desire to love and be loved, while also giving us the ability to communicate with others openly and freely, to listen and be heard. This energy also gives us our more spiritual desires like, insight and knowledge, together with, fulfillment and contentment. When all these areas of our life are in harmony and flowing freely, we have balanced energy and a balanced life. We are healthy and strong and we are able to live a life that fulfills all our desires.

We should understand that this energy is a system in our body and in this system there are certain points of concentrated energy. I have written a book that explains how each of these energy points are associated with a certain area of our body. It starts at the root energy and works up through the body to the crown energy. That doesn’t necessarily mean that each of these points are an entity in and of themselves. When our energy system is opened and balanced each point flows into another, working together, to create peace, harmony and contentment in our life. I believe that each day carries it’s own energy. So, as we will go through each day, we can connect a certain energy point with a certain day. The reason why I use one day to focus on one energy point is to help us become aware of each energy point and see how it works in our life as a whole. So, once we have accomplished our goal of recognizing our energy points, we will find that there are certain triggers throughout each day that will remind us of a certain energy point, no matter what day it is.

I have written this book to help each of us learn how to integrate our energy system and be aware of how it works, in our day to day life. In each chapter I explain, why we are connecting an energy point to a certain day, what the benefits can be for focusing on that energy point and the areas of the body that energy point affects. We will go through some of the exercises that are beneficial in getting a certain energy flowing and I will explain how, even what we eat and how we eat it, carries an energy with it. We will find out how, what we wear affects us and those around us, how what we focus on throughout the day makes us aware of a certain energy point and even add in some “me” time at the end of our day to help us unwind. By using each day to focus on one energy, we will, then, become so familiar with that energy, that when we see, hear, touch, taste or know certain triggers on any given day, we will recognize them, and associate them with the appropriate energy point. Then, we will begin to notice, that our energy is moving and flowing freely and how it is affecting our life.

There are many energy points in our body, but in the book, we focus on the seven major ones. We have a root energy point that grounds and connects us, we have a sexual energy point that connects us to our creativity, there’s our core energy point that connects us to our power, our heart energy connects us to love, our throat energy connects us to our communication, our brow energy point connects us to our intuition and our crown energy point connects us to our spirituality. Getting these energies integrated into a free flowing, balanced, opened and aligned system is what we are aiming for by focusing on the different areas of our life. By taking control of our own life and not waiting for someone to come along a get us out of our situations, we will look, feel and move differently in the world. It is up to each individual person to do what they can to make their life better.

The reason why it is important for each individual to pursue a healthy life is because it affects society as a whole. If we look at ourselves as being a vehicle for energy, then, as we move through our day, we are the only ones who can be responsible for the energy we bring with us. That energy doesn’t just stay with us, it radiates out from us and into the world, that’s why we can feel tension or love in the air. If we are not happy, satisfied, content or healthy, then we have to ask ourselves, “What kind of energy am I putting out into the world?” And then, if we look at that energy collectively, we can see that it makes a difference in how our whole world operates. If we had more happy, satisfied, content and healthy people in the world, then, our world would be a happy, content, satisfying and healthy place to live.

This energy system is working in our life right now, without us even recognizing it. If we focus our attention on certain aspects of our life and become aware of how this energy system operates, then, by changing certain things we do, we can tap into it and use it to change our life. Awareness is the key, focusing on each moment and staying in the present is what helps us balance our energy and our life. This is not a process that happens overnight or within the week. We will not get through the book, come to the end of the week and say, “O.K., my life is completely changed and I am balanced, healthy and happy”. That’s not how it works, it is different for everybody. One person may get to the end of the week and see a difference, another person may get to the end of the week and see no change at all. It depends a lot on how much effort and time we put into changing and how seriously we take what we are doing. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a book that is going to be a physical boot camp. It is more like boot camp for the soul, it is fun and happy, but also, hard and emotional. But, if we really want to see change in our life we have to go through some challenges, but, it is those challenges that give us a sense of accomplishment, which is how we change our life.

I do not expect that as we go through each day we will be able to accomplish everything in that day. Like I said it is a process that has to be integrated slowly into our lives. It may take days, months or even years, depending on how much we desire to change. I know that this book may not be for everyone, you may be a person who does not believe what I am saying or you may be a person who doesn’t really want to change, or you may even believe that it does work, but don’t want to put the time and effort into it right now. That’s O.K., because everyone is on their own path, with their own timing and living their own truth. That is what life is all about anyway, living your own truth and learning your own lessons. I am not trying to convince anyone they should do anything. I am not trying to start my own cult or religious movement. I look at this book as if I am planting a seed, sometimes the seed falls on rocky ground, which means it may take some time for it to sink in and take root or it doesn’t take root at all; it may fall into weeds, which means that there may be too much clutter and confusion in ones life right now for this information to be useful and then, it may fall onto fertile ground, where it is the right thing at the right time, but, whatever ground it falls on it will still take time to grow. I have learned in the past twenty years or so about this energy that moves through us and I am using it to change my life and I just want to share this information with you.

Another thing I would like to touch on is, just because we are balancing our energy and our life doesn’t mean that nothing challenging will ever again happen in our life. We will still get angry, sad, hurt, depressed at times, and even have a moment or two of guilt, rage or regret. We have been told that these are negative or bad emotions. We have been taught to suppress these emotions. We read self-help books, take medication, meditate and pray trying to get rid of these emotions. What I would like to do is give a different perspective. What if we were to embrace these emotions? What if to look at these emotions as tools to help us get to know ourselves better. For centuries we have been looking for ways to get rid of them, pushing them down by not acknowledging them. I don’t believe that is working, because I don’t believe we are supposed to be doing that. I believe we are supposed to be using them for our benefit and the benefit of others.

Here’s what I mean. Suppose we get mad at someone for something they have done to us. We feel justified in our anger so we tell people how a certain someone made us angry and how we are justified in our anger and then those people tell someone and on and on. So now we have created these negative energy trails. Now, lets look at the same scenario differently, instead of telling people about our negative experience, what if we say to ourselves, “What is it about me that made me so angry at that person or situation?”. WHAT!, you might say, ME?, I didn’t do anything, why should I blame myself? Here’s the thing, its not about blame, its about opening up to who we really are and finding out what it is that makes us tick. If we ask ourselves a question about being angry, sad, frustrated or whatever, we might find that it is our belief’s about how we should be treated or what someone else should or shouldn’t be doing or saying. It is about us, not them. They have just triggered something inside us that has opened up an old emotional wound or are even mirroring what we don’t like about ourselves. By asking ourselves questions about our negative emotions we can use them to heal us, which will start to make us think differently about things. We can do this with any emotion we ever have, if we want to find out why we are the way we are, all we have to do is ask our self, “Why am I having this emotion”, good or bad, and we can’t just ask, we have to answer.

I’m sure we have all heard the saying, “Life is a roller coaster”, but what I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Yes, we still have emotions, but, those emotions do not have to run our life. We don’t have to give into the impulse to act on our emotions. We can look at everything through the same lens of love, love for others and love for ourselves. We can use our emotions as learning tools, not for what we learn about other people, but, what we learn about ourselves. We will no longer need to place blame or guilt, we will no longer have to hold grudges and get revenge, because the more we know about ourselves the more compassion we will have for others, knowing that none of us are faultless, we all deserve forgiveness and should be forgiving.

There is a quote I love about forgiveness that says, “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be any different”, I love this because it means that we do not have to forgive for the other person, we forgive for our self, so that we don’t have to carry so much emotional baggage, which makes it easier for us to move on. The only time in our life that is real is the present. We can not change the past and we do not know what the future holds. The only part of our life that is real and holds the truth is right now, in each moment.

So, I hope you enjoy the book, I pray that each day brings you closer to being the person you truly want to be. Even if this book isn’t for you, whatever it is that you believe and hold true is what is good for you. This is what makes our world such a wonderful place to be in. We can hold our own truths inside of us and never let them go. No matter what is happening around us, no one can touch what is inside of us. We hold the key to the answers of our life, we know instinctively what is good for us. We just have to listen to our inside for answers, instead of looking to the outside. We don’t have to be so quick to place blame on others for our situations, our emotions and our actions, we don’t have to be so unhappy, feeling like we have to work ourselves to death to feel like we are successful. We can realize the important things in life are, having relationships, caring about our environment and enjoying our life; we don’t have to hate our jobs, hoard our money or worship our things. Life can be easy if we just learn to let go of control and trust that things work out the way they are supposed to, whether we are striving against the current or going with the flow. If we allow ourselves the freedom to let go of everything, then we are attached to nothing, and then fear cannot control us any longer.

This book is available on:
Kindle – “Balanced Energy, Balanced Life”, By Sindy Williams
Smashwords – Most other devices
“Balanced Energy, Balanced Life”, By Sindy Williams

Coming soon:
hard copy through Amazon
Direct download on all other devices

Reality TV, Changing Our Perception

2012-01-19T15:02:00.000-05:00

There is so much going on in the world right now that it hard to keep up. We are seeing old ways of government crumble, old ways of thinking are being changed and old ideas about how people should live being turned upside down. Could this mean that people might become more accepting of one another? With social media we are being more exposed to different lifestyles and therefore seeing people differently, for sure. But what about reality TV? Some may say that reality TV is horrible, stupid, unbelievable or just plain ridiculous, but I think that some of it gives us a glimpse into the lives of people that we wouldn't ordinarily get to see. We can go from seeing the life of a guy who lives in the swamp and wrestles alligators for a living, to seeing housewives living large in Beverly Hills. We can see how dangerous it is to crab fish in Alaska or the party life in New Jersey. Even if we do not approve of any one persons way of living, maybe by watching these people's lives being portrayed on TV we can start to become more aware and accepting of the different lifestyles people live. Maybe we can look at the lives of other people and see it from the perspective of it being their life, not ours. Maybe we can start to understand, people are people and live differently depending on where they are raised. I would say that is a gift, not ridiculous.

There is some ridiculous stuff on TV, don't get me wrong. But, its all about perception. When we read "ridiculous stuff" each one of us probably thinks something different. Its all in how we perceive "ridiculous". Each person has there own way of defining it. The diversity of us is what makes our world. We can't say one way of living is right and one way of living is wrong, because, it just is. It has more to do with where we are raised and what we are taught, than it has to do with right and wrong. My prayer is that we would stop labeling people and stop putting people in boxes. My prayer is that we would realize that we have 99% more in common with each other than we do different from each other. The 1% difference in us, is our perceptions. That's it, perception. And with our perceptions we can hurt people when we use them to put a negative label on others. And then, consequently those hurt people, hurt people. Then we end up with over crowded prisons, because we have taught our children to look at, "that way of living", as wrong, or to look at, "those people", as different, so they are wrong. That's the thinking that causes separation and violence. Which creates negative energy, which creates a different kind of world than what the 99% of what we all have in common, really wants. Because all any of us want, and that means everybody, is to be noticed, heard, respected for our opinion and to make the best life for us and our family. That's it, and there is nothing negative about any of that. Its when we try to put our perceptions on other people that we create negative energy, which translates to separation and chaos.

So, listen, I am not here to be this big advocate for reality TV, because I don't have to be, their ratings speak for themselves. All I am saying is that it shows something about our nature when we see that these reality TV shows are so popular. It shows that we really do want to know what other people are doing. We really do want to see into the lives of people who live differently than us, to get a sense of who they are. There is something deep within us that wants to connect with other people in some profound way. There is a reason for everything. There is no good or bad, there just is. I pray that we would embrace the concept of perception, because it is moving us in a direction of unity. It makes us realize that our ideas and belief's; our judgments and prejudices are just a result of how and where we were raised.. The evolution of us as humans is to realize that we are all connected. What happens in the inner cities affects our nation, what happens in the bayous of our swamps affects our nation, what happens in our suburbs, towns and communities affects our nation. How we live our individual lives and what we teach our children affects our community, our state, and our nation as a whole. If when we and/or our children are watching these reality TV shows, we should try to look at them in a different way, using them as a teaching tool for our children and ourselves to see that we are all different, and that, is not necessarily a bad thing.

2011-11-29T07:08:00.001-05:00

Looks play a very important role in our society. How we look can affect the way we define ourselves. If we have been told all our lives how pretty we are, then what happens to us as we age? If we are only defined by our looks, then aging can be a very traumatic ordeal. There are some of us who can be very critical about the way we view ourselves, because the way we describe ourselves is often based on the way we feel other people view us. We tend to focus on the negative physical attributes about ourselves, and not on the more positive non-physical descriptions of ourselves. If we have always been told how pretty we are, then, we will probably define ourselves as being pretty. But what is real beauty? How will we define ourselves as we age?

How we define ourselves should have less to do with how other people see us, and more to do with who we really are. We should not be judging ourselves according to how we think others see us. All through our lives people say things to us that stick with us and then we use those principles as guidelines for our self image. But we need to take the time to weed through what is true about us and what we have fabricated in our minds based on the ideas of others. We need to find the value in ourselves that is not based on looks. Because our society places a high value on looking younger, there is an age limit that that is held as acceptable and anything over that is disregarded. But there are beautiful women who are still vibrant, beautiful and older than that arbitrary number.

People have been lying about their age for years, especially women. It is as if lying will turn back the hands of time and give us back the youth we long for. Having the experience of walking into a room and seeing people's eyes go to the younger looking person is usually the turning point in people's lives. But if we can learn to cultivate our inner attraction, then the external changes will be less difficult to accept. Our inner life is our real life and if we don't do the inner work, aging will be difficult. Cultivating our inner self helps to not be attached to external things that fade away with time.

So, what can we do to cultivate our inner selves? We can start living life for ourselves and stop living it for other people. Aging should be about giving ourselves the freedom to be who we were really meant to be. As we age we can start to see that there are things about us that are better than they have ever been before. We can also start to appreciate that there are things that have happened to us that we are glad that we will never have to experience again. Since we don't have to depend so much on our looks, we can start to enjoy the freedom that comes with maturity and self awareness.

The cosmetics and anti-aging industries are making a fortune off of us because we are doing things to simply appear younger. We are devoting so much time, money and effort into looking younger, instead of focusing that energy on other areas of our lives that have a deeper meaning. We aren't even aware that people are more attracted to our inner beauty than our outer beauty. We are so afraid that getting older means being less attractive, losing our looks, or just fundamentally not mattering in the world, that we have lost sight of the fact that there are reasons we do matter no matter how old we get. As we get older we accumulate more knowledge, we have more love to give, we have more of an appreciation for life, we have more compassion for others and we are more forgiving of ourselves. These are the qualities of life that are priceless and time cannot take away.

EVERYBODY HAS A CALLING

2011-11-20T06:35:00.001-05:00

Our calling, our passion, our dream, this is the part of our lives that gets overlooked because we are too busy with the daily grind. There is so much going on in our lives that we have forgotten about the things we used to do that made us forget about time. Who has the time to get lost in an activity that makes us forget about time?

Remember when we were kids and there was one thing that would hold our attention, one thing that we loved to do that was not structured into our time? Remember when we would have so much fun playing for hours? A time, when time was lost. Whatever that was, whatever we were doing, that was our passion. As children we had the luxury of having the time to do what it was we loved to do. But is there a way to recapture that? Is there a way of remembering what it was we were called to do?

Maybe with everything that is going on in our lives we have forgotten that we even have a passion or a calling. Maybe as we grew up we forgot what it was that we loved to do. The problem may be that we have gotten so wrapped up in something that is not fulfilling. The problem may be that we are doing something just because that is what we have to do, or that is what we paid thousands of dollars to go to college for, and now we are sorry we did, or even doing something that started out to be the thing we were passion about, but now we have lost our excitement for it. If any of this sounds familiar, then its time to reevaluate our lives. By looking back over our lives we can find the one thing that we persist in doing year after year. There is something that we make time for or think about often, no matter how busy life gets. This is our calling.

If we can take the time to listen to the "still, quiet place" inside of ourselves, then we will hear "the calling" of what we were meant to do. But, we have to take the time to get to that place. We have to carve out some time for ourselves that doesn't revolve around anyone else but us. Probably the hardest thing to do is find quiet time in the midst of chaos. But, there is chaos because we allow chaos. We all need quiet time, and its up to us to teach our children about quiet time, so that when they grow up, they won't have the same issues that we do. If we make quiet time a part of our family routine, then everyone can have some time to think about what it is they are called to do.

When it comes to our children we should be teaching them a sense of purpose, of being needed by those in the larger world who have no advocate. This can be a way for families to come together to pursue a family calling. As a family we can think about whose pain we want to ease. Coming together as a family and planning a way to make the world a better place can only bring peace, harmony and joy to the world and to our families. As a parent or as parents, we have the responsibility to be role models when it comes to following our passion and finding our calling in life.

Lets not confine ourselves to the expectations of others that can stand in the way of our calling. We should celebrate the things about ourselves that make us different. These differences are what point us to what we should be doing in our lives. Listen, if we are not happy with our lives and we wish things could be better, then who will make it better? What kinds of lessons are we teaching our children? Making sure that we do this for ourselves is important, but making sure our children do this for themselves can save their future, making it easier for all of us to find our calling.

Look, when we hear the question, "Who are you meant to be?" we seem to think that the answer has to be something huge. But, it doesn't have to be huge, we can start small, by doing something to make us feel better. Not perfect or different, just better. Taking a look at what is missing from our lives, can get us started. What is it that would complete us and make us feel whole again? There is always something we can do to make us feel like we are making a difference. Those that have children, can get them involved, those that don't, can use the people who are around them to get involved, or how about finding children that need to be mentored and use our passion as a teaching tool? What better way to use our calling?

Every day we are learning something about ourselves. Some of the things we learn are about the things we do want, but there are also those lessons that teach us what we don't want. Anything that we are doing out of obligation or because we "have to" should wake us up and show us what we need to change in our lives. By knowing what we don't want, then we know what to let go of to get the things we do want. All of the negative things that are in our lives are what teach and guide us to the positive things in our lives, if we take the time to evaluate them. Instead of being engulfed by self pity, we can stop and think, "How is this getting me closer to my calling?" If the answer is, "its not", then let go of it and don't dwell on it any longer. Its not your calling.

Each day gives us a chance to make choices and decisions that can allow us to look back on our lives and have no regrets. Every time we make a decision to do something we hate or something we love, we have made a choice for the direction of our life. Think about all the decisions leading up to where we are now and see if there are any regrets. If so, then we can start changing the way we make our decisions. Taking a good hard look at why we make the decisions we make and learning how to make choices that are better suited for us. That is how we can live our calling.

Our passion, our calling, our dreams are not always what we do to make a living. If we are only concerned about making money, then we are only concerned about our own lives. Living our passion, is what we do when we can't imagine ourselves doing anything else. Looking at our lives with purpose and passion brings in a whole new light and gives us unlimited joy, whether it is baking cupcakes or hanging drywall, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is answering the question, "Am I following my calling?"

FINDING JOY

2011-11-17T07:12:00.001-05:00

Joy can come from the simplest task we do on a daily bases, to the extreme joy of an unexpected surprise. When we take the time to recognize that there is joy in just being alive, we can then begin to see the joy in every aspect of our life. Joy is a conscious decision that we can make each moment of our lives. From the time we get out of bed, to the time we go to sleep. By changing our mindset and the way we look at things, being present and in the moment, will help us see the joy. We are told in the bible to "Count it all joy". That is because even when we are going through tough times, "Joy cometh in the morning", which means that whatever we are going through right now that doesn't seem joyful, we are learning something about life, which in turn will bring us joy.

If we allow ourselves to open up and start to see all the joy in our lives, we can then see the good in everything. We can start to see the good things that we have to share with others. Most of us are in a rush, rushing to get out the door in the morning, rushing to get through work, rushing to pick up the kids, rushing to get home, rushing to take the kids to this or that activity, rush, rush, rush...... But, what if, we were to take a moment to breath and realize the reason behind all the rushing? I mean there has to be a reason for it or we wouldn't be doing it, right? That is where joy is hiding. Joy is hiding in the meaning of all the rushing. But, if we don't take some time to see the reason, we miss the joy.

When was the last time you felt pure joy—with no guilt? If every time we feel joy, we feel guilty, then no wonder we don't want to see the joy in our life. How about if we were to understand that our life should be full of joy. Joy is the greatest expression of love. So, why don't we try experiencing true joy by bringing joy, first to ourselves and then to others? Truly being who and what we are, that is joy. Then we can pass it on to our kids, our spouse, our home, our careers, all can be considered joy.

How come we feel like our lives are a chore? Joy is expansive, the fullest outward expression of ourselves. Joy is being ourselves. So, why do we find it so hard to see the joy even in our most mundane routines? We should be remembering that we created the life we are living and if it is not joyful, then it is up to us to change it. If our kids, our spouse, our jobs or our activities are not bringing us joy, then we are the ones who have to change, not everyone or everything else. We have to start loving ourselves enough to know that when we are out of balance and our daily routines are not bringing us joy, then it is up to us to find some quiet time and rethink our priorities, and bring joy back into our lives.

There was a time when each aspect of our lives brought us joy or we wouldn't have brought it into our life to begin with. When we were looking for a job and found one there was and excitement about it, whether it was because we needed it to put food on the table, or we finally found the one we dreamed of. Our spouses brought us joy at one time or they wouldn't be our spouses. Our kids brought us joy or we wouldn't have even wanted or had them. Everything that is in our life right now is here because at one time we felt joy about it. It is time to recapture and realize the joy of the life we created.

"You don't have to be good. You don't have to walk on your knees for hundreds of miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." By Mary Oliver

The Truth Will Set Us Free

2011-11-14T08:24:00.001-05:00

We have all heard the saying, "The truth will set you free", but do we really understand what that means? When we have secrets that we've been hiding it impacts our life and our relationships. Our secrets separate us from people making us feel sad and lonely. Our secrets make us feel afraid, afraid that our secret might be revealed or afraid of how our secrets will affect other people. Keeping secrets in our lives ties us down and binds us to the past.

When we keep secrets, the thoughts that keep playing in our minds hold us back in our relationships because we are always wondering, "how would people feel about me if they knew the truth about me?", "would they still love me?". We are afraid of being rejected or that there may be other consequences, if we were to stop pretending to be someone we are not. There are many reasons we tell ourselves why we have to keep our secret like, "my family and friends won't love me", "I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me", "people would think different about me if they knew who I really am", "if I stopped pretending I would be rejected by society". All these reasons are based on one thing, FEAR.

So, what we need to do is take away the fear and start dealing with the truth. When we look at all the above reasons why we keep our secrets, what we are really asking are, "what if" questions, "what if, people don't love me?", "what if, they pitied me?", "what if, they thought differently about me?", but, don't just ask the question, answer it. Take it a step further to see what would happen if we were truly honest with ourselves and others. Once we answer the "what if" questions, we may find out that there isn't anything we can't handle.

By holding on to secrets that are affecting our lives in negative ways we are creating for ourselves an absolutely intolerable life. We create loneliness, struggle, feeling like we can't trust anyone and insecurity. We need to turn our thoughts around and think about what is missing from our lives that is absolutely necessary. We need to trust ourselves enough to open up and deal with whatever consequences come along, so that our secrets will not have a negative effect on the choices we make for our lives. Opening ourselves up to the truth of who we are so we can create a life of stability and close, trusting relationships.

Some of us have opened ourselves up and revealed a secret we were afraid to reveal and have reaped the consequences, and are now afraid to open ourselves up again. We are ashamed or guilty or just feel like we are not accepted. But what we need to realize is that everyone who tells their secret will benefit in the end. If we find that there are people who make us feel shame or guilt or do not accept us, then we shouldn't have those people in our life anyway. We should only accept people in our lives that uplift us and make us feel good about ourselves. If we feel like our secret would hurt too many people or someone close to us who we do not want to hurt, then we don't have to reveal it to everyone. Finding someone we can trust and confiding in them will give us the relief we need to live the truth of our lives.

I used to think what good could come from revealing a secret that could potentially hurt other people or even make me feel worse. But the truth is that by keeping secrets we are doing more damage to our ability to have healthy relationships. We are doing damage to ourselves, making ourselves feel like we are not worthy to live a happy, carefree, open, and truthful life. By opening up and sharing our secrets we shine a light in the dark place in our life. By opening up we can erasing the fear, shame and guilt that binds us to our past which allows us to really understand the meaning of, "The truth will set you free".

You Become What You Believe

2011-11-05T08:55:00.000-04:00

If you were to close your eyes and "fast forward" to a moment 5 years from now, when you are living your best life to its absolute fullest, what would it look like? Look at all the smallest details, where do you live, what does it look like and who is there with you? What are you doing, what is your routine, and who are you doing it with? I could write a book about my dream, the images are so vivid in my mind.

Now here's the thing, if we take our vision seriously enough and if we truly see it and believe it, we can achieve it. If we give ourselves the benefit to actually believe, set the vision, and don't give up on ourselves our dreams will come true. But we have to hold on to our belief in ourselves. There are so many people in this world who do not believe that their dreams can come true because of all the negative thoughts that come into their minds that tell them all the excuses why their dreams will never come true. But that can change right here and now. When I first started dreaming of what my future would look like I knew it would have something to do with food, but, there was this little voice in my head telling me all the reasons why my dream wouldn't work.

So, what do we do about it? The first thing that needs to happen is to stop thinking that our dreams are fantasy. It seems too easy to think that all we have to do is dream, and then believe, but that really is true. Once we truly believe that our dream can be reality, and is not just a fantasy, we will take our dreams more seriously and start to set our vision and our goals. We need to get out of our heads and into our hearts. I wrote my dream down. At first is was a brief little synopsis of what I wanted, because it was hard to think that my dream could actually be a reality. But once I started to feel what my life would be like once my dream started to come true, the more excited I got and the clearer my vision became.

If we think of something we wish we could make happen it can become a lot more real to us if we create a concrete symbol to represent that wish coming true (Mine is a vision board). There is a feeling we get in our body as we imagine this wish coming true. When we become tuned into this feeling we can shift and reshape our vision until it feels possible and peaceful. In fact, it's most likely to happen if it feels like a done deal—normal. It is very important to feel like we couldn't imagine ourselves doing anything else. When the negative thoughts come to mind, STOP! Don't think, feel.

We all have something we know we can do, with our eyes closed on our worst day. This is the thing that will lead not just to pleasant outcomes, but to huge success.Take some time to be still, listen, and let God speak. There is a reason why each one of us is here. Taking some time to write a description of our life situation - the people around us, our circumstances, and where our self-concept fails to align with the beauty of our real self will help us find our purpose. By doing this I have found that my biggest obstacle is myself. My limiting self concept keeps me from aligning with the beauty of my Real Self.

The sum of all our creations is our life. So, when we sell ourselves short, it is hard to have faith in ourselves to create the life we want. We need to hold onto the belief that with, "The faith of a mustard seed, I can move mountains". Always reminding ourselves that we are worthy of love, happiness and peace. Believe it! When I began to rethink the beliefs I had about myself, I would tell myself, "I am powerful, outgoing, courageous, successful, and nothing can stop me from living my best life. Life is easy!" These affirmations helped me to see myself differently and gave me the faith in myself to move forward.

We have all had times in our life when we have made offhanded remarks about ourselves - or heard someone else say something about us - that has turned out to be a sort of prophecy. That's because words are powerful and when spoken from the heart will manifest in our lives, good or bad. So let's make sure that we are speaking the right words in our lives. Affirmation plus action equals miracles. So when we say to ourselves things like, "Abundance flows into my life in surprising and amazing ways", or "life loves me", or "life is easy", we can change the coarse of our life, if we believe. Just sit wanting more.

The other thing that is very important when trying to birth our dreams is to not let other people's negative statements bring us down. When other people tell us or make us feel like we are "less than", making us think that our dreams are not feasible, that's when we need to call forth our inner strength and say, " No, these people are wrong! I am meant to succeed!" I have had people tell me that I can not make a decent living doing what I want to do, and I used to listen to them and get defeated. But, when I began to realize that my "Being" is enough, that's when I believed that just being present is enough to bring me success in whatever I chose to do. I AM ENOUGH!

Remembering that affirmation plus ACTION equals miracles, we need to make sure our actions are in alignment with what we say we want in life. Taking a good hard look at our life, and asking ourselves, "Am I staying in situations where other people are treating me badly?", waiting for them to change. Passivity in a situation of injustice creates a damaged life. If all we ever deal with in life are problems, then we have a problem life. We need to stop undermining ourselves by thinking, "I'll never...." or "That doesn't happen for someone like me." Instead, let's look for examples in our lives when our negative beliefs about ourselves was wrong. Let's focus on the areas of our lives that are going right and use that energy to thrust us forward into the life we were meant to live.

Because of all the self-defeating things I used to say to myself and all the negative energy that I put into my life, I wasn't living the life I wanted. And at first, when I started down the path of creating the life I wanted, it felt awkward and difficult, and usually that's where it would have ended for me. But, when I followed my heart and realized that I couldn't live without doing what I wanted to do, when I realized that just being present is enough and when I realized that even though I may stumble, I won't fall, things started to turn around for me. Determination, self-love and the power of belief are the fuel that kindled the fire in my heart. And I believe the same can happen for you. Here's to living our best life!

LETTING GO OF ANGER

2011-10-27T09:53:00.000-04:00

Some psychologists believe anger is a reaction that occurs to help us protect ourselves from the grief that may arise if we accept a loss or disappointment. If we look within ourselves and find anything from rage to annoyance, then we can ask ourselves, "What's the object of my anger?" By holding on to anger we are holding ourselves back from living the life we were meant to live. When we learn to release anger, we release the junk in our life that is causing us harm.

When we think about any anger we may be holding, even if it is just an annoyance from our past, we should then ask ourselves, "Is the underlying cause of the anger fear?" For example, are we afraid we are not good enough, are we afraid of rejection, are we afraid of not having enough, etc..... If we can find a fear, then we will usually find the cause of our anger.

Now, if we gently go deep into the anger, will we see feelings of sorrow or loss? Is there something we have lost—or never had—that has created a wound or sorrow? If fear and sorrow were absent, there would be no anger. It takes an act of courage to help us defeat our fear, we have to experience our grief, to solve the underlying problems that keeps our anger burning. This is hard, because a lot of times our fears are serving a purpose for us, we use them as an excuse for the problems in our lives. By doing the work we need to do to release anger we allow beauty into our lives, by releasing the past we can live for the present.

Our past does not define us and once we deal with anger, we can move on to forgiveness. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Giving up the hope that things could have turned out other than they did and accepting that events occurred as they occurred.When we allow ourselves to forgive others AND ourselves, then we can live the life we were meant to live.

So now we say to ourselves, but this one event is unacceptable to me. Bad things have happened because it occurred. But, if we want to learn how to free ourselves from anger, we need to get ego out of the way and allow the hurt to reveal itself, then we can deal with it and move on to be who we truly are. Even in the most "unacceptable" events of our lives good things can happen. These events can help us find the beauty in life, help us to lose our fears or show us that nothing matters except love, peace and joy. As we begin to acknowledge the good that comes from our "unacceptable" past, we can find forgiveness arises. This is a way to "let go" of anger even if we feel that we are in a rage - that is, that we don't have anger so much as anger has us.

The False Power of Ego

2011-10-26T13:05:00.000-04:00

What I have learned about ego is that it is not always what we think it is. Our ego's are our attachment to our ideas and beliefs about ourselves that we project on to others. And, it is also our attachment to any form outside of ourselves. This gives us a misconception about life. Most of us identify ourselves with our looks, our jobs, our family, etc... But who would we be if that were to disappear?

When we get up in the morning, look at the person in the mirror and groom ourselves to go out in public, who are we doing it for? ourselves or others? What are the thoughts that run through our heads? Are they too positive (egotistical) or too negative (victim mentality)? Then as we go about our day how many of the choices we make are made to maintain the image we have of ourselves? Where does our ego's get in the way?

Just think of all the areas where we judge ourselves as either inferior to others or superior to them. This is our ego jockeying for position. If we can acknowledge that, then we can move beyond ego—simply by recognizing it. The ego cannot stand when we acknowledge it. When we know our true self, we can let go of our ego.

How do we find our true self? Well one thing I know is that we can not define ourselves through the way other people see us. We can not let other people define us. We have to find out for ourselves who we are apart from our ego. We have to truly believe that we alone are enough and no thing can define us, not a job, not our spouse, not our family, not even our looks. Ego is a false sense of self. A mental image of who we are.

When we are constantly feeling disrespected or that we are being treated badly, we have to ask ourselves why? It is not possible for people to hurt us, disrespect us, or even treat us badly, it is only our perception of the situation. We give it meaning, and we choose what that meaning is, they can only give us their observation or what their perception is of us. When we feel like we are being disrespected, criticized or treated badly we have to think to ourselves, "That is their perception of me, not mine", and then leave it at that. If we try to get approval from others, what we are really trying to do is get approval from ourselves.

Our choices that we make have to be genuine expressions of who we are and in alignment with what we want from life. Our choices, should not take us away from the person we really are, into an image fabricated by our mind or our society. The question we should be asking ourselves is, "What are the choices I am facing now?" and whether they are big or small, we need to explore which are the ego-driven and which represent those of our true self.

A lot of what we think of as ego is based on fear—of not being good enough, of not meeting others' expectations. How much of our relationships are based on what we think other people expect from us? Are we playing a role at home, at work and/or in the world? Are we assigning roles to others? Just think of what would happen if we became aware of these roles and made them less important. Then when we loved someone, we would love them for who they really are and not for who we thought they were, and other people would be able to love us for who we are and not who they thought we were. Our love should be enough and we should not expect anything in return.

If we could learn to acknowledge our ego when we see it come up and not place blame on others for not feeding our egos, then we would be able to just enjoy our journey through life and not try so hard to get to a destination.

Handling Conflict

2011-08-21T13:10:00.000-04:00

How often do we take the opportunity to tell someone how we feel when we think that they have done us wrong? Do we think it is our duty or our right to let a person who has scorned us know how we feel? And even so, when we confront that person, are we gentle and calm or do we feel the need to just let them have it? The reason why I ask these questions is because I think if we really want the world to change, we have to start by looking at the way we handle conflict. Proverbs 15: 1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger". Most of us go by how we feel first, before we think about what we are saying. But, in our evolving society, if we want to become wise people, we should think first, then speak.

Most of the time when we have gotten our feelings hurt, or we feel like we have not been treated fairly, it has something to do with us, not the other person. There is something inside us that we need to deal with, but it is easier to blame someone else rather than to look inside ourselves to see what needs to be addressed. The hardest thing in the world to do is sit back, not say anything at all or speak healing words that give life, when we think another person, or other people, are getting away with something that they have done wrong. But, "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life..." Proverbs 15:4.

It is a wise person who accepts correction. Not only the correction of others, but also the correction of ourselves. When we look inside ourselves and understand that it is our ideas and beliefs that make us feel upset when think we have been wronged, then, we will have the wisdom of knowing that there are deeper issues that are inside of us that have to be dealt with. It is hard to accept correction from others, but it is even harder to accept correction from ourselves, because then we have to admit to ourselves that there is something inside of us that has to change. But, once we deal with those issues and find Real Truth, that is wealth, that is prosperity, that is riches and gold, these are the treasures stored in the house of a good person that will not rust, decay, or spoil. Our words should spread knowledge and Truth, but before we can do that we have to be honest with ourselves, because Truth comes from honest people and Love from those who do what is right.

Our goal in life should be to bring happiness to others and make them smile, because, "A happy heart is like a continual feast", Proverbs 15:15. If we all lived with the philosophy that we would rather be poor and live with respect for others, than to be wealthy and live in turmoil, the world wouldn't be in the shape it is now. If we were all the kind of people who controlled our tempers and stopped our quarrels; if we were more honest with ourselves about our beliefs and ideas, then life would be more like a smooth highway than a bumpy road. If we could bring joy to our world, then our plans for the future would not fail. It is up to us to help each other, to give, as well as to receive.

I am desperately wanting people to understand that we are in perilous times, there is a fork in the road and it's up to us to chose the smooth highway, not the bumpy road. To come together and be good to one another, now, more than ever. Be the person who says the right word at the right time, be the person who brings kind words and does what is right. Let's bring good news wherever we go so that we will succeed, not only personally, but globally. Let's make others feel good about themselves by letting our happiness show in our eyes when we greet people. And when we feel like we have been wronged in one way or another, lets us look inside, instead of outside for correction to improve our lives and live among the wise. When we improve ourselves and have respect for others, we gain Wisdom and Understanding, which can change the world.

Sindy
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