It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They [...]]]>

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They believe the “natural man” is good-hearted, kind, generous, honest person who may slip often but will do good as often as possible without the need for guilt, self-aggrandizement, or selfish purpose. Watch the news every day. There isn’t much proof that these people exist.

But they do, even though their acts and lives aren’t always “newsworthy.” And they really are everywhere if we’ll just look up from our own lives now and then to see the good that others are often up to.

In the middle of a really crappy, self-absorbed day a few weeks ago, I asked you all over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook page what the nicest thing was you’d ever seen a stranger do for someone else.

These were your {beautiful} replies. They really flipped my bad day right-side up again

Continue reading: Because. People Really Are Good. Part II.

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They [...]]]>

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They believe the “natural man” is good-hearted, kind, generous, honest person who may slip often but will do good as often as possible without the need for guilt, self-aggrandizement, or selfish purpose. Watch the news every day. There isn’t much proof that these people exist.

But they do, even though their acts and lives aren’t always “newsworthy.” And they really are everywhere if we’ll just look up from our own lives now and then to see the good that others are often up to.

In the middle of a really crappy, self-absorbed day last week, I asked you all over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook page what the nicest thing was you’d ever seen a stranger do for someone else.

These were your {beautiful} replies. They really flipped my bad day right-side up again

Continue reading: Because. People Really Are Good.

It’s been a really good chair. I’ve had it for at least seven years. Maybe eight.

It’s done its job like a good chair should and it has never complained, even when I wasn’t the best companion to it (such as yesterday when I had a particularly potent bean burrito for lunch). It hasn’t squeaked. It hasn’t wobbled. It has definitely served its purpose.

And then, about two months ago, [...]]]> Meet… my chair.

It’s been a really good chair. I’ve had it for at least seven years. Maybe eight.

It’s done its job like a good chair should and it has never complained, even when I wasn’t the best companion to it (such as yesterday when I had a particularly potent bean burrito for lunch). It hasn’t squeaked. It hasn’t wobbled. It has definitely served its purpose.

And then, about two months ago, its upholstery just started flaking off as if it had contracted some strange flesh eating bacteria. A little at first, and then in big chunks. Within days the arms started flaking, the seat started flaking, the head rest started flaking. At first it didn’t bother me, but eventually there were gaping wounds all over the chair and black pieces of vinyl all over the floor.

It was time to get a new one.

Now, that desk you see in the photo above? That’s a big wrap-around workstation desk. It goes for another three feet or so to the right.

When I ordered my new computer, I promised Noah he could have my old one. I think it’s important for young kids to learn computers, especially in this day and age. We talked for weeks before my computer got here about all the things he could do on it. We were going to put it in his bedroom on his own desk. The more we talked about it the more excited he got.

Then, the big day came when my new computer arrived. Noah stood over my shoulder as I unpacked it and he waited with baited breath while I transferred all the data over. Eventually I was ready to swap them out, and I asked him if he was ready.

“YES!” he screamed with so much enthusiasm, and then suddenly he went quiet. His face drooped ever so slightly as some new thought wiggled its way into his thinking.

“What’s the matter?” I asked

Continue reading: Way More than Just a Chair

“What other people think about you is none of your business.” One of my readers wrote that [...]]]> It’s the second to last day of repost week while I knock out a good chunk of my upcoming book. This week I’m sharing my favorite posts from before most of you were ever around. Thanks, Dan

“What other people think about you is none of your business.” One of my readers wrote that in the comments one day and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Is it really none of my business what other people think about me? The answer is, absolutely, 100%, without a doubt yes. And it is none of your business what anybody else thinks about you, either. And I mean anybody.

There are a few big reasons, to me, why this statement is true.

First, no matter how hard we try, it is nearly impossible to keep the negative voices of others from affecting us in some way. No matter how thick of shells we put on, no matter how strong we think we are, and no matter how impervious to the negativity of others we believe ourselves to be, the negative or hurtful voices of others will find ways to creep in. As we strengthen ourselves and learn to keep what others think out, those voices and opinions have a way of occasionally blindsiding us. I don’t believe any of us are ever completely immune to it.

Take, for example, dating. I am generally very confident when it comes to dating. I believe that I’m attractive and sexy, I believe that I’m worthy, I believe that I’m a good guy, I believe that I’m intelligent, I believe that I am ambitious enough, I believe I am a great catch. This confidence usually helps in that I don’t believe any woman is out of my league, I don’t believe any woman is too good for me, and I don’t believe there is a reason for any woman I take out not to like me. This is not to say that I’m cocky or arrogant, in fact I’m very much the opposite. It’s just to say that I am confident and that that confidence really tends to help me get and have some great dates.

A little while back, I was visiting my brother and his family in England. I have always been close to him and his wife. They are people I love and respect.

Before making the trip, I called my brother and told him we should all go on a double date while I was out there and asked him if there were any women he could set me up with. He mentioned the name of a drop-dead gorgeous girl that I had met some years previously and he said he would arrange it. I told him to go for it

Continue reading: What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

I swam an entire mile in a lake that wasn’t even 60 degrees.

And all for a stupid patch.

Well, a patch and the glory and honor of doing it along with all the other much more fit boys at Scout camp that year.

For years I’d watched the other boys in my troop [...]]]> When I was 12 years old, I did one of the hardest things I’ve still ever done to this day.

I swam an entire mile in a lake that wasn’t even 60 degrees.

And all for a stupid patch.

Well, a patch and the glory and honor of doing it along with all the other much more fit boys at Scout camp that year.

For years I’d watched the other boys in my troop do everything awesome without me, both in and out of Scouting. As a portly and often friendless boy, I’d sat benched in the dugout at baseball games and sidelined at soccer games. I’d stood outside the group at recess as they kickballed and buttballed and freeze tagged. I had watched them all earning trophies in their various activities and sports over the years. Medals. Badges. Pins. Certificates. Pats on the back. Life was very rewarding for the other boys.

And I guess you could say life was sometimes rewarding for me, too. I mean, I remember about that same time of my life I went to visit my grandpa. I moseyed out of the car. He held his hands out as if to hug me and instead of embracing me, he grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “you’re turning into quite a fat boy.” Then he swatted me on the butt and sent me in the house. I guess that was kind of rewarding. I mean, at least he noticed me.

Haha. Was that facetious and pity-invoking enough?

And so, back to Scout camp, when the opportunity arose to strip down almost naked and jump into a freezing lake to earn a patch that said I’d done something awesome and almost impossible, I made sure I scribbled my name onto the sign-up sheet that was being passed around

Continue reading: Swimming the Mile

LOL. I can barely follow it myself.

Anyway, chellylauren posted the image and said, “In a girls’ bathroom stall at my university, girls [...]]]> Yesterday, Marcey, one of my readers, shared a link to a Yahoo News post, which shared an image that Reddit user chellylauren posted on her page five days ago, and which I’m now going to share with all of you. Did you follow all that?

LOL. I can barely follow it myself.

Anyway, chellylauren posted the image and said, “In a girls’ bathroom stall at my university, girls have written about some of their most horrifying life experiences. This week, somebody replied.”

Continue reading: Bathroom Stall Angel

Big thanks to reader ddk who shared this link with me after I posted the last seriously amazing video.

How they got this in one take is amazing. So beautiful. So incredible. Such a dang powerful message. I gotz me the goosebumps for sure.

Enjoy.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Haha. I’ve admittedly watched it at least eight times now, and even though it was stitched together with lots of clips from various sources, it was so well done.

“If you get a little love, you can give a little love of your own.”

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Last night I asked you all to anonymously share one secret that no one else knows. There were no rules. No guidelines. No expectations. I called it “The Truth Box.” The form had two sections only. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “What actually is true.”

As you all know, a couple weeks ago I shared a secret that I had been carrying around for 21 years. It was a secret [...]]]>

Last night I asked you all to anonymously share one secret that no one else knows. There were no rules. No guidelines. No expectations. I called it “The Truth Box.” The form had two sections only. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “What actually is true.”

As you all know, a couple weeks ago I shared a secret that I had been carrying around for 21 years. It was a secret that was so secret, I couldn’t even admit it to myself until a few months ago.

Since then, so many beautiful, sexy, incredible, awesome, normal people that I know and love (and even more that I have never met) have come to me in confidence and told me some amazing things they’ve never told anyone.

As it turns out, I was far from alone in my secret, which is why I wanted to do this. After reading this, I’ll bet you’ll find that you are from from alone in your secrets, too.

In the first two hours of asking for them, I received more than 500 of your truths, and they are still coming in. If you haven’t shared yours yet, I would be honoroed if you’d go to the last page of this post and submit yours. I’ll share a post every week until they’ve all been shared.

Thank you for your truths.

Kennedy, Gandhi, Roosevelt, Winfrey, Hitler, Lincoln, Jobs, King, Christ, Regan, Angelou, Churchill.

I could easily list a hundred others with my eyes closed. These are just a few of the people that have greatly inspired me, along with millions (and sometimes billions) of others.

A lot of bloggers write to me and ask if I have any tips for “inspiring the masses” through writing. I suppose that because I’ve had a [...]]]>

Kennedy, Gandhi, Roosevelt, Winfrey, Hitler, Lincoln, Jobs, King, Christ, Regan, Angelou, Churchill.

I could easily list a hundred others with my eyes closed. These are just a few of the people that have greatly inspired me, along with millions (and sometimes billions) of others.

A lot of bloggers write to me and ask if I have any tips for “inspiring the masses” through writing. I suppose that because I’ve had a few viral blog posts, people think I have a trick up my sleeve for doing it. A formula for hitting big groups of people, maybe. I don’t know.

But I have thought about it a lot over the past couple years.

How did Obama inspire so many Americans with his speeches during the last presidential election? How did Churchill give the free world such renewed faith in democracy once again? How did Lincoln inspire a nearly defeated group of people to stand up and claim their victory? How did Martin Luther King, Jr. pull two hateful sides together in ways that others hadn’t before him? How did one man make his business such a world powerhouse? How did one woman push millions of people to be better human beings? How does one writer, or singer, or actor inspire millions by writing, singing, or acting the same messages that many others already have, albeit unnoticed?

I believe, with all of my heart, that the people who inspire the masses are the people who understand that the masses cannot actually be inspired.

Never in the history of mankind has anyone ever inspired the masses.

The greatest figures of all time inspired only the individual.

And this, in turn, led to the inspiration of the masses.

Take Barack Obama, for example; our current commander in chief. At a time when America was beginning to fall apart financially, and the heart of war was still pumping loudly, and life for a lot of people just seemed bleak… a relatively unknown and unseasoned politician began telling everyday people that he would bring change for them.

His opponent, a man who was probably much more qualified for the job, played his game the way most politicians do. He said what he probably felt the masses wanted to hear. He pitched his own accomplishments, qualifications, and abilities. The words he chose to use were meant to give the entire country less fear about the future. They didn’t.

Obama, on the other hand, went straight to the heart of the individual. The country was almost an afterthought as he dove into the very real fears that individuals were experiencing. Fear of not personally having a job or money. Fear of not having social programs to help us in the future.  Fear of not having medical help. Fear of losing loved ones in the war.

In the end, enough individuals were inspired by his words and he became the president.

He didn’t necessarily become the president because he was better. He became the president because he made so many of us feel like he understood us as individuals and that he was going to fight for us as individuals at any cost. And at that point in time, it’s what we really seemed to need.

Oprah Winfrey is another great example. She built an empire not by sitting down each day and thinking, “what can I say that will sit right with millions of people?” No, she built an empire by reaching out and touching people on individual levels. She constantly aimed her questions and responses to each individual who was watching or reading. She knew how to reach out from the television and make every person ask the same questions, face the same struggles, and be able to try on the shoes of those she brought onto her show.

A man named Adolph Hitler also did it in his rise to power. He inspired the individuals around him to believe in their superiority. He inspired them to believe in their rights, as twisted as they were. He inspired them to be able to rationalize horrific deeds. The man did not get up before anyone knew him and say, “let’s kill millions of people.” He would have been shot or ridden out of town. Instead, he began inspiring individuals. It’s what worked, has always worked, and will always work.

Steve jobs did it. We daily see the impact of the ability he had to inspire individuals. John F. Kennedy did it. We still quote him and think of him as one of America’s most important figures. Jesus did it. What started with a handful of individuals, is now more than a billion people strong.

Whether it was entirely purposeful or not, all of these figures knew how to reach out to individuals. They knew how to play leapfrog with fears, emotions, gratitude, sentimentality, and hope. They understood how to reach into large crowds and pick each spectator up by the collar. They never looked at a crowd and saw a crowd at all. They looked at a crowd and saw only one person at a time.

Each of these people were people just like you or me. They had two arms to raise, two hands with which they could gesture, two lips with which they formed words, and a heart that pumped blood throughout their extremities… just like you and I have.

But, they also had three things that most people don’t have.

First, they had complete conviction of their cause.

Second, they were willing to use their voice to make their causes happen, no matter the personal cost.

And third, they understood the secret that tells us, win the individual and you will win the crowd.

I assure you that no person ever could truly and continually inspire millions without complete conviction in their message or their product. People aren’t stupid. Where millions are involved, lack of true conviction will always be exposed. At the same time, it rarely actually needs to be exposed as the burden of duplicity eventually becomes too great for any person who lacks that complete conviction while standing in the limelight.

Of course, this world is not short-staffed of people who do have real conviction. You or I will never hear about most of the greatest crusaders and world changers that surround us. There are millions of people in this world who labor diligently, inspiring individuals and changing the lives of many every single day. They will never stand in front of large crowds or television cameras. They will live and die almost as quietly as the people they help.

In 2003, my wife and I purchased a brand new townhome with all the trimmings. It was about 1250 square feet. I made six figures that year as an animal artist and soon we decided that our home was too small. In 2004 I jumped back into the business world and we built a brand-new home (a little more than twice the size). In 2006 [...]]]>

In 2003, my wife and I purchased a brand new townhome with all the trimmings. It was about 1250 square feet. I made six figures that year as an animal artist and soon we decided that our home was too small. In 2004 I jumped back into the business world and we built a brand-new home (a little more than twice the size). In 2006 we wanted something more, so we sold that home and bought an even nicer one in Alpine. It was one of the smaller houses in the area at just under 5000 square feet. It also appraised at well over half a million dollars. My monthly mortgage payment was $3800. I was 26 years old.

I more or less skipped college. For some reason, from a young age making money was easy for me. I found accomplishment almost everywhere I applied myself. I didn’t need college to make a good living.

My wife and I went on fantastic trips to different parts of the world. We had money to spend on all sorts of things. Gadgets. Décor. Furniture. Clothes. Cars.

And in the middle of it all, I became extremely entitled. I believed that the world owed me something because… well… I was awesome. What I didn’t know was that when you become entitled and you think you’re awesome, you always end up losing more than you’d ever imagine.

Sigh.

Believe me when I tell you that I lost a lot.

I wish I could go back in time, take that younger Dan Pearce by the shoulders, shake the hell out of him, and scream a few things to him about it all.

“Don’t worry about money now,” I’d tell him. “You’ll have your entire life to worry about money.”

He’d look at me like I was crazy. But that wouldn’t stop me.

“You will forever regret not going to school, no matter how successful you become. You’ve gotta believe me because right now you can’t see it.” I’m sure he’d snort at that. After all, he knew that he would never regret it. Not when he was making the kind of money he was. School was just a waste of time for him. “Please listen to me,” I’d continue. “School isn’t just about money. It’s about opportunity, options, and advantages in the future.”

At this point he’d probably tell me to get lost. The young Dan Pearce didn’t care much for anyone telling him he could do things better. After all. He was… awesome.

But how often do you get to go back in time and try to tell yourself important things? Not very often, so I’d keep going.

It’s now day three of my four-day physical fitness rant. I promise after tomorrow’s post I’ll stop spewing my excitement for physical fitness all over those cute little bunny slippers of yours and get on to the mountaintop rescue story.

Today I want to talk about something I’ve needed to learn so many times in the past, and still struggle to learn in the present…

The damage we [...]]]> It’s now day three of my four-day physical fitness rant. I promise after tomorrow’s post I’ll stop spewing my excitement for physical fitness all over those cute little bunny slippers of yours and get on to the mountaintop rescue story. Today I want to talk about something I’ve needed to learn so many times in…

“What other people think about you is none of your business.” One of my readers wrote that in the comments one day and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Is it really none of my business what other people think about me? The answer is, absolutely, 100%, without a doubt yes. And it is none of your business what anybody else thinks about you, either. And I mean [...]]]>

“What other people think about you is none of your business.” One of my readers wrote that in the comments one day and I’ve thought about it a lot since then. Is it really none of my business what other people think about me? The answer is, absolutely, 100%, without a doubt yes. And it is none of your business what anybody else thinks about you, either. And I mean anybody.

There are a few big reasons, to me, why this statement is true.

First, no matter how hard we try, it is nearly impossible to keep the negative voices of others from affecting us in some way. No matter how thick of shells we put on, no matter how strong we think we are, and no matter how impervious to the negativity of others we believe ourselves to be, the negative or hurtful voices of others will find ways to creep in. As we strengthen ourselves and learn to keep what others think out, those voices and opinions have a way of occasionally blindsiding us. I don’t believe any of us are ever completely immune to it.

Take, for example, dating. I am generally very confident when it comes to dating. I believe that I’m attractive and sexy, I believe that I’m worthy, I believe that I’m a good guy, I believe that I’m intelligent, I believe that I am ambitious enough, I believe I am a great catch. This confidence usually helps in that I don’t believe any woman is out of my league, I don’t believe any woman is too good for me, and I don’t believe there is a reason for any woman I take out not to like me. This is not to say that I’m cocky or arrogant, in fact I’m very much the opposite. It’s just to say that I am confident and that that confidence really tends to help me get and have some great dates.

A little while back, I was visiting my brother and his family in England. I have always been close to him and his wife. They are people I love and respect.

Before making the trip, I called my brother and told him we should all go on a double date while I was out there and asked him if there were any women he could set me up with. He mentioned the name of a drop-dead gorgeous girl that I had met some years previously and he said he would arrange it. I told him to go for it

Continue reading: What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

I took Noah to the park today, and was able to snag this little beauty with my camera phone. What to even say about it? I guess sometimes nothing [...]]]> Have you ever heard it said that you should “assume the best, and doubt the worst about others?” It’s a mantra I try to live by, yet one that I often find so difficult. A while back, I posted this on my blog:

I took Noah to the park today, and was able to snag this little beauty with my camera phone. What to even say about it? I guess sometimes nothing can be said because the picture says it all.

PS. Just FYI, this photo has been slightly edited for color and added effect.

As I explained later in the comments, I posted this image, as well as the editing confession as a catalyst for making people wonder how real it was, the things I might have done to make it worse than it was, etc. Basically, I wanted to paint a picture that at first glance would ruffle some feathers, but on further contemplation would allow for others to stop and assume the best and doubt the worst about the driver and his parking job

Continue reading: Assume the Best and Doubt the Worst

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2012/05/assuming-the-best-and-doubting-the-worst.html/feed 165 http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/in-honor-of-carissa-2.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/in-honor-of-carissa-2.html#comments Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:00:32 +0000 Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com/?p=16345 Today is the four-year anniversary of my little sister’s death. Her name was Carissa, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve known. In honor of my sister, I think it’s appropriate to repost the Saturday’s Heroes post I wrote about her.

Carissa is and always will be my greatest inspiration and number one hero. I had the privilege of giving the eulogy at her funeral. Some of those words have [...]]]> Today is the four-year anniversary of my little sister’s death. Her name was Carissa, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve known. In honor of my sister, I think it’s appropriate to repost the Saturday’s Heroes post I wrote about her.

Carissa is and always will be my greatest inspiration and number one hero. I had the privilege of giving the eulogy at her funeral. Some of those words have been intermingled here.

Carissa had Down’s Syndrome, but she never once let that define her. In fact, the only word that could ever define her is love. Her funeral offered indisputable evidence of just how far her love for others had spread.The room in which we held her services seated 750 or so. Many had to stand along the walls or listen from the hallways because there simply weren’t enough seats for everyone.

I have been to many funerals. I have never seen one with that kind of turn-out.

I remember struggling to put her life into words that could accurately express who she was and what she was about. Truth be told, Carissa’s shining life and example really couldn’t be expressed over a podium. It had to be felt, experienced, and witnessed, as so many people there in attendance knew.

You see, Carissa understood love probably more than I or most of us will ever be able. She could feel inside a person’s soul and somehow, could even feel the pains of a person’s heart. If that person’s heart was hurting more than usual, she could sense it, and she would do what she did best, which was to help start the healing. It usually started with a question of concern, then a big smile, then one of her big Carissa Bear Hugs.

Then, the verbal praises would start and not let up until she sensed that your heart was at peace again, even if it took weeks or months. She would laugh, and tell you repeatedly over the course of days, “You’re my favorite.” “I love you this much.” “Hello my beautiful.” “Hello my handsome.” And other wonderful things. Then, when you would leave, she’d get out a notebook and her big bag of colorful  pens, and write you a letter or two, telling you how much she loved you, how much she loved God, and how much He loved you.

You see, Carissa believed in God’s love for us, and she never hesitated to share it.

Carissa was not bound by pride, ego, time, or selfishness, a few of the struggles that many of us so naturally have. She was never too busy to visit or care for the sick. She never received an assignment in her church, school, or community that she didn’t complete with 100% vigor. She never thought herself better than another human being, ever.

Think about that for a moment…

She never thought herself better than another human being.

How many of us can say that?

She never hid her talents from the world.

She never withheld her praise from anyone. She never compromised her values. She never believed that there was a reason to not show her love to others, and certainly never believed there was a reason for others not to love her.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/in-honor-of-carissa-2.html/feed 2 http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/a-teens-brave-response.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/a-teens-brave-response.html#comments Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:00:37 +0000 Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com/?p=16099

I received the following email today in response to my post I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay. I had decided a couple months ago that it was time to let the whole thing rest, but this response was so powerful, I couldn’t not share it with you all. It was from a woman who simply called herself, “One proud mom.”

Hello Mr. Pearce,

I am the Christian [...]]]>

I received the following email today in response to my post I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay. I had decided a couple months ago that it was time to let the whole thing rest, but this response was so powerful, I couldn’t not share it with you all. It was from a woman who simply called herself, “One proud mom.”

Hello Mr. Pearce,

I am the Christian mother of a 15 year old teenage boy and about a month ago he came home from school with a copy of your article “I’m Christian, unless you’re gay”. The teacher gave his class a homework assignment to read it and write a 500 word essay about “what it meant to them”.

He came home and showed me your article and asked me what I thought about it. I read just the title and became furious at his teacher and at you (even though I know you had nothing to do with her handing out the assignment). Anyway, I confiscated it from him and told him he wasn’t to do anything with it till I had a chance to read it first.

And then I got madder and madder as I read it as I felt like it was a direct attack against our beliefs and our Christian religion and that it was promoting homosexuality, a practice that around here is a huge “sin”.

I gave my son an earful about homosexuality and God and told him that he could tell his teacher that he would not be participating and if she had a problem, she could come talk to me and then I threw the article in the trash. My son didn’t say anything just walked into his room and shut the door.

This content is for members of Single Dad Laughing only. Visit the site and log in/register to read.

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/a-teens-brave-response.html/feed 26 http://www.danoah.com/2012/03/my-new-journey-begins.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/03/my-new-journey-begins.html#comments Thu, 29 Mar 2012 22:00:41 +0000 Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com/?p=15944

About four months ago, I received a call from a big name casting company who was looking for somebody to star in a new reality show on one of the big networks. Due to privacy clauses of a contract I had to sign, that’s about as much as I can tell you.

I’ve seen the show they would be directly competing with, and to be more than 100% honest, I would never consider myself [...]]]>

About four months ago, I received a call from a big name casting company who was looking for somebody to star in a new reality show on one of the big networks. Due to privacy clauses of a contract I had to sign, that’s about as much as I can tell you.

I’ve seen the show they would be directly competing with, and to be more than 100% honest, I would never consider myself to be a candidate for such a show. And, when the casting producer first called me, my response was exactly that. “Have you seen pictures of me? I’m a little chubby. I’m not ripped and toned. Oh, and I’m covered in hair.” Her response was that they wouldn’t be shooting the show until summer and that they wanted somebody who was “real” anyway. They weren’t looking to mimic the other show that way.

I wish I could divulge more details about it because it would make this post more meaningful, but it suffices me to say that the entire thing threw me for a serious loop. At first I turned her down. Flat. I didn’t even think about it. Then she started selling me on the idea that I would be able to share my message and my true voice on the show, and that it could be a great opportunity to do some good. A couple days later I told her I’d go through the screening process and see what happened.

From there it was a flurry of activity. They asked for information, contracts, background, and a bazillion essay questions from me. They did interviews with me. “We’re moving fast on this,” the casting producer kept telling me every time she asked for something new. And for some reason every time I sent something, they replied that they loved it and needed whatever was next in the process. Eventually they wanted a video of a day in my life that they could give to the show’s executive producer.

I started panicking somewhere in the middle of it all. Why would they want me on this show? Why me? Memories of being shoved against lockers, pummeled on the playground, and picked last in dodge ball all taunted me with wild abandon. I definitely wasn’t that kind of guy. Not one that millions of people would want to watch and hopefully fall in love with

Continue reading: My New Journey Begins…

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2012/03/my-new-journey-begins.html/feed 1 http://www.danoah.com/2012/02/whose-life-is-it-anyway.html http://www.danoah.com/2012/02/whose-life-is-it-anyway.html#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 01:10:35 +0000 Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com/?p=14692

“I want out of my marriage,” my friend recently told me. “But I can’t. Nobody will let me. I feel so much guilt even thinking about it.” I didn’t respond. I’ve learned it’s just best to let people keep talking sometimes. “I’ve wanted out since the beginning. We knew it wasn’t right when we got married and it’s never been right since, no matter how hard we both try or how much we both [...]]]>

“I want out of my marriage,” my friend recently told me. “But I can’t. Nobody will let me. I feel so much guilt even thinking about it.” I didn’t respond. I’ve learned it’s just best to let people keep talking sometimes. “I’ve wanted out since the beginning. We knew it wasn’t right when we got married and it’s never been right since, no matter how hard we both try or how much we both give. The whole world thinks we have this perfect marriage and we don’t.”

I knew exactly how he felt.

And then he said something that haunts me still. “Why isn’t it my life to do what I want with?”

“There’s no way,” a different friend said to me so matter of factly one day. “My mom and dad would never forgive me. My brother would freak out on me. They’d all hate me.” She was talking about her desire to leave her church behind in search for a truth that she deep down felt existed elsewhere.

Somebody else I am friends with confessed to me the secret life she lives. The life that makes her truly happy. The life she hides from everybody she loves. Because those who love her would never accept her if they knew.

“I hate this job. I can’t stand coming to work every day. I wish I could start over and pick a different path,” my colleague once lamented during a business lunch. “How did I end up here?”

“I got married when I was 19,” another friend once said. “I was a kid. Why should I have to be stuck in a life that I don’t want based on a decision I once made when I was so young and naïve? I didn’t know anything about the world back then. I didn’t know what I really wanted. And now I’m stuck. And I’m married to someone who feels the same way.”

I could go on. For pages. But you get the gist.

Over the past two years, I’ve learned that there are a lot of unhappy people in this world who feel completely stuck in their current situations. They feel trapped by the guilt that comes from those who surround them. They feel chained down by the expectations of others. They feel so small as all of the “perfect” people around them tell them exactly what life should be, how they should think, and how they should behave.

And most of us don’t even know it.

Most of us don’t see the people around us for what they’re really feeling. For who they really are. For who they really long to be.

So many of us have become masters of disguise. We’ve learned to pretend to believe, to act, and to be the very things we doubt, dislike, or even despise. And we do it for two reasons

Continue reading: Whose Life is it Anyway?

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2012/02/whose-life-is-it-anyway.html/feed 2 http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/powerful-responses-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay-blog.html http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/powerful-responses-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay-blog.html#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:32:46 +0000 Dan Pearce http://www.danoah.com/?p=11972

Six days ago, I posted I’m Christian, unless you’re gay. The response has been overwhelming (to say the least). Nearly half a million people have already read it. Nearly 2,000 comments have come in. It’s seen the greatest first-week traffic of any post I’ve ever shared here on SDL.

As I hit the “publish” button last Monday evening, I honestly feared it would be the end of Single [...]]]>

Six days ago, I posted I’m Christian, unless you’re gay. The response has been overwhelming (to say the least). Nearly half a million people have already read it. Nearly 2,000 comments have come in. It’s seen the greatest first-week traffic of any post I’ve ever shared here on SDL.

As I hit the “publish” button last Monday evening, I honestly feared it would be the end of Single Dad Laughing. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just really scary to attempt to write something that, if done incorrectly, could anger not just one part of the population but nearly every part of the population. That post covers some very hot ground. I think you’d agree.

But I also said in the beginning of that post that, in order to finally write it and publish it, I had to care more about the message than I did about any potential backlash. That was more of a pep talk I was giving myself in order to keep from hitting the “trash” link on yet another draft of it.

Anyway, I’ve read just about every single comment that has come through and I won’t lie… I was brought to tears several times by some of the things that were shared. I don’t think anybody could read through the comments without being at least somewhat changed. But what you all didn’t get to see were the hundreds of personal emails that I received in the wake of the post

Some were horrific. They testified of the need for the message beyond anything that I ever read in the comments. A couple were threatening and attacking. Others guaranteed that my passage to hell was assured. Thankfully, the vast majority were kind and encouraging and full of hope.

There have also been a handful that have been so powerful that they momentarily flipped my world upside down. There have been a handful that have melted me down into a puddle of emotion, unable to speak for fear I’d lose whatever was causing my heart to pound. Some of these were powerful in their beauty. Others in their ugliness.

I tried to read some of these aloud to the woman I’ve recently started dating. I couldn’t finish most of them. I couldn’t even start others.

I’ll be sharing a couple of less than beautiful responses first, and I only do so because I believe they will make the others that much more powerful. It’s the beautiful responses that are most important, and I want to share with you those responses that meant more than the world to me when I received them. To some degree, they’ve changed the very definition of who I am. They made me realize that no matter how anybody responds to this post, it’s already been worth it. I’ve shared two of these on the Facebook wall with you already, so forgive me for those that some of you might have seen already.

Each response on this post will be on its own page, mostly so that you can share links to individual responses on Facebook and Twitter if you like. The first two are among the responses I received that I feel prove the need for this message. The last five prove the power of living the message. The power of giving. And, the power of love even when we disagree with one another.

At the end of this post I have a challenge for you. I seriously hope you take me up on it.

I also hope you’ll share this post. I hope you’ll encourage everybody you know to come read it. These responses are a hundred times more powerful than anything I could ever write, I promise you that. You see, my original post was made of words and ideas. Hope. Encouragement. Love. What you will read today are all real-life examples of those words and ideas.

I realize that a lot of you received your own dose of backlash on the links you posted to the original post. Reposting it took serious guts for many of you. I hope the small amount of backlash you saw didn’t scare you from sharing the message but instead enforced the need for you to share the message all the more. That’s what it’s done for me, at least.

More than anything, I hope that these messages serve as all the proof you need that sometimes posting a link does a whole lot more than just putting text in front of a person’s face. Sometimes leaving a comment does a whole lot more than just saying what you want to say. Sometimes lives are changed. Sometimes families are changed. Sometimes communities are changed. And ultimately, sometimes, the world

Continue reading: Powerful Responses to ‘I’m Christian, unless you’re gay.’

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