I’ve made plenty of dumb decisions in my life.  But last week, I think I did the dumbest thing…ever.  Ok, maybe not the dumbEST, but it was pretty high up there.  Wanna know what I did?  Good, ’cause I was gonna tell you anyway.  But you can’t tell noooooo-body!  I have a reputation to uphold, ya know. LOL  See, what had happened was…the story is guaranteed to be good if it starts like that. LOL

I bought a dining coupon from restaurant.com last November and it was scheduled to expire this month.  I bought it during one of those 90% off deals.  You know the one when you get a $25 coupon for about $2?  Yea, that one.

Man, those coupons are loaded with restrictions!  Some are lunch only, dinner only, party of 2 or more, minimum order of $40, 18% gratuity before coupon applied, scratch your butt, rub your head, yada yada.  I think I read one that said “must use on rainy day when sun sets at 5:32pm.”  No, I’m just kidding! LOL  But a ton of restrictions are written in the fine print!

So anyway, I had this coupon and I wanted to use it before it expired.  I reviewed all of its restrictions – dinner only, party of 2 or more, minimum order of $35, 18% gratuity – cool.  When BabyGirl came home, I drove clear across town, sat in 40 minutes of traffic, and suppressed my road rage with thoughts of mouth watering prime rib.  After we were seated, a quick glance at the menu made me feel so smart for having a $25 off coupon.

Before placing my order, I showed the waiter my coupon to make sure they would accept it.  “No problem” he assured me.  I ordered the prime rib and BabyGirl ordered a burger or something simple.  I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into that red meat!  And it was going to be practically FREE!  Yea baby, bring it on!

But a few minutes later, a different gentleman came over to our table and burst my little bubble.  He explained that I had to order TWO meals, valued at $35 EACH, in order to use my $25 off coupon.  WTF!!  He pointed to a line on the coupon that I had apparently misinterpreted. Then waited patiently for a response…

My mind raced.  Do I leave or do I stay?  I heard their prime rib was good here. You’re hungry.  No, you’re starving.  And you drove 40 minutes – IN TRAFFIC!  But wait, who the heck wants to pay $70 for a meal with their kid?  Even if it is $25 off!  Had I known this, I would have come with a friend so we could split the meal 50/50.  Do I leave or do I stay?  Is that prime rib I smell over there?  Aww shoot, I’m staying!

I kept my prime rib order and BabyGirl upgraded to a ribeye.  I told her to get it medium well, but she insisted on well done.  Fine.  The waiter was attentive, the display and delivery of our food was entertaining,  but the flavor was blah.  With a dash of salt, my prime rib was somewhat edible.  But BabyGirl said her steak was dry and tough.  Not only were we disappointed with the meat, but we quickly realized that our $35+ “meals” didn’t come with any sides!  WTF!

I ordered a side dish for us to share because I wanted a veggie.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, so I played it safe and ordered the broccoli.  A $15 side of broccoli?  Jesus wept.  The presentation of the brocoli could have come out of a magazine.  But upon closer inspection, it appeared to be the same raw bushel from the produce section in the grocery store!  I didn’t even want to taste it.  Just eww!  BabyGirl played with it for a few minutes.  I was highly disappointed.  Little did I know, things were about to get worse.

*sigh*

Lawdhavemercygetjesusonthemainline!  When the waiter brought me the final bill, I wanted to scream. It was $76.23! *blink blink blink blink*

I thought I was reading the number backwards. Eighty bucks for bland prime rib, rubber steak, raw vegetables, and water?  Not to mention, $80 for an ordinary meal on an ordinary day…with my kid!  Man, I was fit to be tied!

The lights were low, the piano was playing, and the atmosphere was soothing.  Perfect…if I were on a date.  As I looked around the room, I noticed all the other patrons appeared to be satisfied with their meals.  Then I thought to myself  “this is some bullshuckas!”

The waiter began to ask me what was wrong, if I wanted him to package my food to go, if I wanted to order something else, if I wanted to speak with the manager, if there was anything he could do to make me happy.  As I said before, he was very attentive, the service was excellent, but the food was ter-ri-blah.

I was hawt and I just wanted to get out of there, so I quickly paid the bill.  All the way home, I cursed myself for spending $80 at a restaurant just because I didn’t want to lose out on a $25 coupon that cost me $2.  I’m a certified genius!

We often talk about work/life balance in terms of having a successful career, as well as quality time with loved ones to enjoy the fruits of our labor.  Many people think if you focus on your career, then you have to work all the time with no personal life.  Or conversely, if family is your number one priority, then you’ll never get ahead in your career.  The either/or mentality makes it difficult to find a happy median.

In the world of personal finance, there’s a similar challenge – goal/life balance.  Many people associate financial goals with giving up something of pleasure to reduce expenses – no more eating out, shopping, video games, books, electronics, etc.  Or conversely, if you enjoy life, it is assumed that you spend frivolously and incur debt.  Again, the either/or mentality makes it difficult to find a happy median.

But you know what?  Single Ma wants it all!  Work/Life balance and Goal/Life balance.  I’ll admit, both are difficult to achieve, but they are not impossible if you have realistic expectations, set boundaries, and exercise discipline.  I’ll give you an example of how I try to manage them all:

THE GOAL

Back in April, I mentioned that I wanted to save $50,000 in cash.  At the time, I only had $36,600, but I wondered if I could reach $50,000 by the end of the year.  In May, I decided that I didn’t want to be too restrictive with my finances because I had a lot of expenses planned for the year.  As a compromise, I settled on a target date for next summer.  Since then, I hadn’t thought much about the $50,000 personal challenge.  I didn’t give up or lose sight of it.  I just figured next summer was a more realistic target and continued saving as usual.

WORK

I’m a single parent and I work a full time (40 50+ hr) job.  When I’m at work, I give 110% and I’d like to think that I’m pretty good at what I do, but my child always comes first.  When work demands conflict with my #1 job,  there is no debate – I’m gone.  Not only do I leave work when there’s a problem or she’s sick, I take vacations to spend time with family, I attend her school functions and P/T conferences, and I work a flex schedule that allows me to volunteer at her school on Fridays.  The BB may be buzzing the whole time and I do work from home occasionally, but my boss is aware of my boundaries.  I may never run a company while I still have a minor at home, but I am happy with my career progression to date.

LIFE

While I was working hard and saving hard, I also enjoyed a normal life.  I went on an extended weekend beach trip with my family and a cruise to the Bahamas with my girlfriends.  I also participated in Spa Week (pampered myself with luxurious warm stone goodness) and Free Night of Theater (saw Of Mice and Men performed on stage).  I did a little shopping and some volunteering, attended Shecky’s Girl’s Night Out, saw a few movies, ate out a lot, suffered 16 weeks of abuse by my personal trainer, maintained our monthly Mother/Daughter Day, and paid for BabyGirl to attend an overnight writing camp for 2 weeks, professional driving lessons, an 8 week SAT test prep course, and numerous senior year expenses.  Sheesh! $$$$$$!

BALANCE

Although I have strong boundaries at work, my dedication has paid off with a recent promotion and higher salary.  This, in turn, makes it possible to achieve my financial goals and enjoy a full life.  However, more money doesn’t automatically make everything easy nor does the progress happen on its own.  Balance, of any kind, requires discipline.  When I earn a promotion, I do not immediately begin to spend more money just because I have more money.  I may indulge on a few things after I’ve planned for it, but for the most part, I want to avoid lifestyle creep.  So I took the salary difference and increased my savings.

Now guess what?

After reviewing my expense spreadsheet, I noticed that I’m only $2,965 away from my $50,000 personal challenge.  With four paychecks left in the year and another month of accrued interest, it looks like I will reach $50,000 by December after all. Woo-hoo!

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I donate money in support of various causes throughout the year, which equates to about 10% of my income.  But lately, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I wasn’t giving enough.  My life has been abundantly blessed in so many different ways, I felt as if my menial contributions were disappointing God.  To whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48).  I thought of writing a bigger check, but that would have been too easy…and in vain.  I wanted to do more, but I didn’t know what.  So I prayed about it.  I prayed for God to use me at his will.  After weeks of soul searching, I stumbled upon several opportunities that spoke to my heart.

I registered for a Young Mothers Assistance program to help teenage mothers transition to a life of self sufficiency.  I am happy about this opportunity for several reasons: 1) I can personally relate to these girls and sympathize with their situations, 2) I have so much to offer them by way of skills, encouragement, and life experience, and 3) there are mutual benefits because I’d be overjoyed if I can make a difference in at least one of their lives.  I have to be interviewed, pass a drug test and clear the background investigation, so it may be January before I can start.

Naturally, any changes in my life also influence my child.  BabyGirl decided to volunteer for an Aging Adult Pet Therapy program where she and Precious will visit elderly people who love animals.  I hesitated at first because she already has a full schedule with her AP workload and extracurricular activities, but it worked out because she only has to commit to 4 hours per month.  BabyGirl loves to listen to little old ladies talk about life “back in their day” and I’m sure my dog will love the extra attention and belly rubs.

We’ve also decided on a different approach for our holiday gift donations this year.  Instead of adopting a family, BabyGirl chose a local program that provides shelter and group therapy for at risk teens that have been removed from their homes.  If she only knew – she almost became one of them about two years ago.  LOL!  Lord, I thank you for carrying us through!  Anyhoo, she wants to adopt a teenager so s/he will know that someone is thinking of them.  To be honest, I’d rather adopt a family with small kids, but I’m gonna roll with her suggestion this time.

We also registered to assemble food baskets and deliver Meals on Wheels during the week before Thanksgiving.  They don’t know it yet, but we passed on the names of our closest friends.  Hey, if we can shop and party together, we can volunteer together too!  LOL!

In what ways do you give back to your community?

- Despite their screw up, I managed to save and invest ~$6,000 last month, in addition to my 401k.  No, I’m not a saving fanatic.  Ok, yes I am.  But most of it came from an extra paycheck in October.

- I received a $10 tax bill for my dog. *scooby doo look*  Why is the county imposing a tax on my pet?  Can I claim my pet on my taxes now?  Better yet, can I claim this tax as a deduction on my state or federal taxes?

- I submitted a $350 dental claim to my “PPO” insurance company.  But get this, because my dentist is “out of network,” I will only be reimbursed $83.50.  This means I have to pay $266.50 out of pocket for an annual exam, cleaning, and routine xrays. Ouch!  I love our dentist and we’ll keep seeing him, but I may have to negotiate some of his fees.

- Research says indoor allergens are more harmful than outdoor allergens.  BabyGirl’s asthma has been acting up lately, so I paid $260 to have my furniture upholstery and carpets cleaned throughout my entire apartment.  This could be all in my mind, but I swear, it feels like even I can breathe better.  Now I understand why people prefer all hardwood floors.

- Once you go Nordstrom, you can’t go back.  My feet are not fond of cheap shoes anymore.

- My mortgage is increasing $32 to beef up the escrow account.  This annoys me because for the past three years, my mortgage company has given me an escrow refund.  The first year, my mortgage went down because they said I overpaid in the escrow account.  The second year, my mortgage went up (with a refund) because they said I didn’t  have enough in the escrow account.  The third year, my mortgage went back down again.  And now the fourth year, it’s up.  All of this paperwork, monitoring and adjustments to balance a freaking escrow account.  Umm, how about this?  I can pay my own dern taxes and insurance!

- I’ve decided that I’m having a Game Night/Holiday Party for my birthday  – friends, games, food, and mixed drinks.  This is a milestone birthday year and I can’t wait for my “season” to begin!

- I’ve been in a writing mood and have several posts scheduled to publish over the next week.  Shocked? LOL

- My weight has been going in the wrong direction.  I prayed for God to help me lose weight.  I asked for understanding.  I need to understand what causes me to lose sight of my weight loss goal so I can overcome it.  I asked for motivation.  No one does exactly what they’re supposed to do every single day, but I need motivation to get back on the horse when I fall off.  Why did a personal trainer move into my apartment community?  Guess where?  Right next door!  How do I know?  Because he put up flyers to offer his services (exercise and nutrition advice) in our neighborhood fitness facility.  God is funny!

Have a fabulous weekend!

At first, I was more curious than upset.  So I began digging around to investigate the problem.  It appeared that the HSBC transfer was going to post twice…hmm.  I logged into HSBC to make sure I had not fat fingered my transfer request.  Nope, just one request.  In my checking account, both transfers were pending, so I assumed it was a computer glitch that would work itself out.  But nooo!  The next day, I receive this email from HSBC:

SUBJECT: Important Update About Your HSBC Account

Dear SINGLE MA

On Friday Oct 30, 2009, there was an error in our processing of transfers that resulted in your account being debited twice. I apologize for this inconvenience. We are correcting this problem and the balance of your account will be up-to-date by Wednesday Nov 4, 2009.

If you incurred any third-party fees due to our error, we will reimburse you. Please log-in to your account and send us a bankmail with your request for reimbursement detailing the fees charged. Any HSBC fees that may have occurred will be reversed automatically. In addition, any interest owed on an HSBC interest-bearing account will be credited to your account accordingly.

I again apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. We have put in place processes to prevent this from occurring again.

Sincerely,
xxx,
EVP Personal Financial Services, HSBC Bank USA

Ok, no problem.  Banks make mistakes too. They said they’ll reverse the debit made in error and refund any fees. Cool.

Then of course, I get an email notice from my other bank to inform me that I have insufficient funds in my checking account.  No surprise.  However, not only have I incurred one insufficient funds fee, I’ve incurred THREE at $35 a pop!  Here’s THAT lovely email:

SUBJECT: Account Has Insufficient Funds

To:	SINGLE MA
Account:	Account Nickname Ending in xxxx
Date:	11/02/2009
Transaction Number:	1
Insufficient funds amount:	$83.99
Transaction Paid:	Yes
Fee Assessed:	$35.00
Date:	11/02/2009
Transaction Number:	2
Insufficient funds amount:	$100.00
Transaction Paid:	Yes
Fee Assessed:	$35.00
Date:	11/02/2009
Transaction Number:	3
Insufficient funds amount:	$1,400.00
Transaction Paid:	Yes
Fee Assessed:	$35.00

Whoa!  I was VERY surprised by the amount of fees.  I haven’t incurred any of those in a LONG TIME!  Obviously banks are hurting and they’ll try to collect fees whenever and as often as they can.  Here’s a prime example, look at the email again.  Why are the transaction values listed in ascending order of 1, 2, and 3?  If they had gone through in that exact order, my checking account balance after 1 and 2 cleared would have been $745.54.  Then, only the last transaction (#3 with the extra $1,400 pulled in error) would have incurred an insufficient funds fee – one $35 fee instead of three $35 fees.  But noooo, they had to process #3 first, followed by the smaller transactions, to collect a fee on each one of them.  Hmph, I’m going to deal with them sneaky bastards too.  But for now, I’m focused on HSBC.

So I follow the instructions in HSBC’s email to “[p]lease log-in to your account and send us a bankmail with your request for reimbursement detailing the fees charged.”  To make sure my request was crystal clear, I copied and pasted both emails for reference purposes.  When I clicked send, the confirmation page said a customer service rep would be in touch within 12 hours.  Hmm…shorter than usual for a bank’s online messaging service, but I wanted this fixed PRONTO!  Not wasting another minute, I called them up…and this is when I got annoyed.

I explained the problem to the customer service rep and politely requested a refund of the fees.  I even offered to forward him a copy of the emails from both banks.  Why did this dude tell me I needed to 1) download a form, 2) complete the form to describe the problem and my request, 3) sign and get the form notarized, and 4) fax it to some special refund request department?

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH*  Umm…how about NO!

Single Ma: This was an HSBC error and I am not going to do extra work because YOU caused a problem with my account.

HSBC Customer Service: Ma’am I understand, but these are our procedures to refund fees.  I need to be able to verify the fees you were charged by the other bank.

SM: I really don’t care about your “procedures” right now.  HSBC caused a problem and HSBC needs to fix it.

HSBC CS: How much were the fees charged by the other bank?

SM: $105

HSBC CS: $105 for an overdraft fee?!?!?!

SM: *sigh* Tell me about it. But no, it was not an overdraft fee, as in overdraft protection.  It was an insufficient funds fee – $35 on three separate transactions – because HSBC took $1,400 MORE THAN I AUTHORIZED!

HSBC CS: *accusatory tone* Ma’am, I will need some verification of that fee?

SM: You have my name, the bank’s name, and the account number that you took the money from. YOU do the work and figure it out.

HSBC CS: May I place you on hold for a few minutes?

SM: Sure. [on hold for 7 minutes - yes, I was counting]

HSBC CS: Ma’am, I just need to verify a few things on the account you have with us and I will forward your request to my supervisor. [run off a list of questions]

SM: [answer his BS questions to verify my identity and ownership of account] How long will it be before I see the refund in my account?

HSBC CS: I will forward your request to my supervisor.  If she has any additional questions, she will contact you.

SM: I don’t think you understood my question.  How long should I wait to receive my money or call your corporate office?

HSBC CS: May I place you on hold again?

SM: [getting very annoyed] Mm hmm…[on hold for 5 more minutes - yes, I was still counting]

HSBC CS: Ma’am, you should see a credit for $105 in your HSBC account by the end of this week.

SM: That is not acceptable.  I want to see a reversal of the unauthorized debit and a refund of the $105 fee within 24 hours.

HSBC CS: [pause] Umm… [pause] …I will note your account and try to get your request expedited.

SM: Thank you.

I am so annoyed with HSBC right now. If they don’t fix this problem – a problem THEY caused – within 24 hours, I’m pulling my money out.  All $46,880 of it.  I’ve already stopped the $1,000 bi-weekly allotment and I will take my business somewhere else.

The mistake, I can forgive.  Fix it and we’re good.

Giving me the run around to fix YOUR mistake?  Unacceptable!