SingleGirlDating.com

Dating Scene for a Single Girl

2011-05-11T20:16:00.000-04:00

Okay so the dating scene is quite lame. I mean I have really tried to be open minded and try out a dating site at the advice of friends. However, my account is now closed because that's just not my style. What happened to the old fashioned way of meeting guys? Guys actually approaching a female and saying something nice enough to get your attention and then have a nice convo from there? Oh wait that must only be in the movies cause i don't think I've ever seen that scene played out. But on the real where are the available, drama free, non issue having, respectable, ready to commit, not get on your nerves too much and treat you like a queen men at? I mean is something wrong here. Are we experiencing a shortage of good men? And don't get me wrong there are some good men out there but it's just taking me awhile to find him I guess. And then i look at some of my friends and realize I'm not the only one singing this tune. But I tell you what it's getting old real quick and frankly so am I. Can't I just find a normal guy? Lol. Someone told me the other day to lower my standards but I'm thinking geez if I lower them anymore than I might as well pick up any ole thing and that Is so not me and I'm just not into settling. So I'm going to take a hiatus from men for a minute. Who knows that man I'm looking for just might pop up. I'll stay hopeful.

Broken Hearted Single Girl

2011-03-08T22:56:00.000-05:00

So what happens when you take yourself off the market after many years of being a single girl? You get your heart broken. That's what happened to me. I put myself and my heart out there only for it to be trampled on. So it starts to make me question myself. Am I not capable of a loving adult relationship? Will I forever be single? Will I ever find the one for me?
Initially I felt like a fool for even putting myself out there. For even trying something new and turning over a new leaf. For thinking that the person I was with could even potentially be the one for me. And although I am disappointed by the outcome I know that I'm not a fool. I took a chance on love. I experienced what it was like to love someone and to be loved. And although I gave a lot of myself and my time I don't regret it. It was a learning experience. As my girlfriend said this relationship was just preparation for the right person. I may not necessarily see it now but I know she's telling the truth.
These past few months made me realize that I am fully capable of having a loving adult relationship. I know that I can be that special someone for that special someone. So now its just a matter of waiting for that one for me until then I'll continue being the single girl I once was. Hopefully the wait won't be too long but either way it'll be worth the wait I'm sure.

Single Girl & The Taken Man

2010-08-22T22:56:00.001-04:00

I met this guy at a bar one night we had really good conversation, he was very nice, and was nice looking (which is rare here). We exchanged phone numbers and after a few conversations I decide to ask the question I should've asked back at the bar "Do you have a girlfriend? Are you involved with someone?" He hesitated and that said it all. I told him that he didn't even need to his respond, his lack of response gave me my answer. He then admitted that he was involved but quickly let me know how attracted he was to me and my whole vibe and I admit I was flattered. Flattery does get you everywhere however I wasn't buying it at the time. I let him know that I couldn't be THAT girl and I couldn't get involved with him. I didn't even want to entertain being his friend. So that was that... or so I thought. Clearly NOT. He continues to call me and plead his case and eventually I start to entertain him. (I know I'm wrong for that) I start thinking well maybe he is unhappy in his relationship, maybe I am who he needs in his life, maybe .... Man I think I'm just making excuses and justifications at this point.
So we go out to dinner and its really cool. I realize I like this guy but he's taken. I try to push that out of my head. We continue having conversations and then I think to myself what am I doing. This is not me. I gotta cut this dude off. And so I do. I let him know that he needs to holla back when he is SINGLE. Until then DEUCES. I go about my business. But this is one persistent guy. He is relentless and doesn't just quit. I'm like WOW. He continues to call and text- begging and pleading and asking for time. The more he talks the more I start to listen instead of ignoring him. So we go out again but this time I have my reservations. I have asked my girls about their advice on dating a TAKEN man. I even ask some of my male friends and from them I got the same thing- obviously you like him, he knows that, he has nothing to lose, he's going to try until you give in. And so with that knowledge I start asking him a million and one questions about his relationship, his plans, his intentions with me and when he starts stumbling I start looking at him side eye. This is exactly what I needed and now I'm really ready to cut it off. So at the end of the date we say our goodbyes and I call him as I'm driving home and let him know for real this time- THIS IS NOT ME. I am not that chick who's into dating other people's men. I'll admit I got caught up because it all sounded good but at the end of the day you are still involved with someone and I can't be apart of that. Well of course he tried to change my mind for at least a month but I guess he realized I was for real.
And so what is it with men who are taken that try to get at SINGLE girls like myself? I mean c'mon you are TAKEN. Is it the chase? Is it the challenge? Is it to see if you still got it? Are you that unhappy that home? Or are you just doing it because you can? Whatever the case it's not cool. And I'm not judging anyone because if that's what you do then do you but I will say it's not the single girl's ideal. I don't like being 2nd and when I get a man I want him to be ALL mine. And for those single girls like myself who seem to attract these taken men tell them to kick rocks. You aren't interested.

Single Girl Travels

2010-07-01T17:54:00.000-04:00

So initially when I came up with the plan to travel alone to Europe everyone thought I was crazy. I kept getting responses like “are you serious?”; “Omg. You’re going alone?”. I’m sure not the first and definitely not the last. Plus Wendy Williams has said before that every woman should take one trip by herself. And so I did. I was determined to experience Europe and whether I had friends going with me or not, it didn’t matter.

It’s one of the best decisions I have ever made. It also was one of the best trips I’ve ever taken and I have taken plenty. I was able to enjoy “me” time. I could do as I wanted, come and go as I please, and not care about anyone but me for once. I made new friends. The friends I made are great people whom I never would have met had I not gone on this solo journey. And when I got there I wasn’t the only single lady on the trip. Clearly, I’m not the only crazy one. LOL. I experienced new places and things that I wouldn’t have had.

So the benefit of this trip for a single girl like me was spending time with me. Really getting to know myself and to just absorb everything. I spent time writing my thoughts and each detail of my trip in my journal. I took lots of pictures to never forget this experience. And also came back with so many stories and memories to last a lifetime. I definitely recommend each woman take a single trip. Not a trip with your girls, or your man, or your family, just you by yourself. And it doesn’t have to be Europe, it can be a cute local bed and breakfast, it can be a spa retreat (every girl could use that), or it could even be an exotic destination just take the time to do you. You will thank yourself for it.

Wendy Williams confirmed for me that I should take this trip but deep down I already knew. And now that I am back I hear, “Wow, you’re brave.”, “I wish I could’ve done that”. You can. And I am so glad I did. : )

ElimiDate

2010-04-22T19:38:00.002-04:00

So I've finally managed how to juggle while dating. Juggling men that is. I've stated this before but I've always been the type to put all of my eggs into one basket, well not this time around. I have been dating three men simultaneously and it has been great. Each guy is different and I notice that I show different sides to each guy. It's like you have to play up to each of them and their personalities and dating styles. It even works out great that when one is busy with something else the other entertains me. Now some people may look at it as a bad thing but it really isn't. How will you find the one you're looking for if you're only spending time with one guy who you might be slightly interested in. So it's almost like a process of elimination. You date a few guys at a time (notice I'm saying date the guy, not sleep with the guy) and you'll be able to compare and start to eliminate the one(s) that are not up to your speed.
Dating multiple guys has also allowed me to just have fun with it. I'm able to relax a bit more and just really be myself without getting uptight or upset because I had plans with Mr. X and he cancelled last minute. That is no longer the case if Mr. X cancels well there's always Mr. C, F or B. Now I have options and when you have options and choices the things you normally would be concerned about when dating one guy can be over looked. I will say this though, there is one that is truly sticking out amongst the rest. I really like him and I think the feeling is mutual. So I will say that I am a happy camper.
Now who says that dating multiple guys isn't fun? At the end of the day look at it as if you were on Elimidate and you're trying to find the best mate. So let the dating begin and may the best man win. : )

A Single Girl's Dream

2010-03-28T13:01:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream that I attended a few ex boyfriend's weddings. The last wedding I attended in my dream was my first love from high school. After attending this wedding I cried and cried. I had a girlfriend with me and I told her that "I was NEVER going to get married". I'm not sure if that was the ONLY reason I was crying but clearly it was a BIG part of the dream. And it's not because I don't want to get married but I think I realized the bigger picture. It's ME.
And so I had a conversation with one of my besties and I realized some things about myself. I realized that I have good traits, as well as bad traits and its the bad traits that may outweigh the good traits and keep me single. At least I can acknowledge that fact. I also know that I've dealt with guys who can deal with me and some of bad traits. My biggest bad trait would have to be my attitude. My attitude can at times SUCK. Yes I said it. I can admit it. I know that and it is something I try to work on and even pray about. And it's not that its just flat out bad all the time. It tends to happen when things don't go my way or when something is not the way I expected. So I guess you could call me spoiled. I also tend not to give people a real chance. I date guys and the minute they do something I don't like I cut them off. I call it not wasting my time but then again I never even give it a shot. Maybe that's the problem. I won't say it's all guys because the ones that I really like I can overlook some things. But then I also think it takes a special kind of guy to deal with me. I know that he's out there (I think). I just hope I haven't already kicked him to the curb. Lol.

The Things WE single women do....

2010-02-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

I've been mulling this post over for awhile. Originally I was going to write a blog about Valentine's Day and how its a made up holiday to make single women feel crappy. LOL. But I won't say all single women cause it sure doesn't bother me and I'm sure a few of my friends feel the same way. There are many ways to show you love someone and it doesn't always have to be a significant other. So with that said I started thinking about all the recent changes that have been going on around me and personally. I had to sit back and really think about how women go about getting a man. One of my friends recently posted on FB that women seem so desperate. Is that really it? Are we really desperate? I'm not sure about that but I can see why that would be said.
Most single women, not all, have a goal and that is to find the "one" and get married and live happily ever after amongst other things. So we do what we can to try to attract a man. Whether that means dressing a certain way or acting a certain way, we women do what we have to sometimes to attract a man. And it's not always about attracting a man but trying to get the man to get involved with you or to marry you. So if the guy you're dating, interested in, kicking it with, or whatever likes thongs, we as females will go out of our way to start to wear thongs more often even if we hate them. If your man likes for you to dress a certain way, or wear your hair a certain way we as women tend to conform a lot easier than a man would. We tend to accept things that otherwise we wouldn't accept and do things that we may not always necessarily feel comfortable with. We all have done it. Been there, done that.
I was looking in my armoire the other day and I noticed a body lotion that I don't really care for and then I remembered why I had it. A guy that I was dating and was really interested in told me that he liked it and so I bought it and would wear it around him because it's something that he liked. I had to ask myself why we would do that? Why would I get something that I really don't care for just to please or entertain someone else? Is that what it has come down to? And even though that is something small that is exactly the point I am trying to make. Women tend to conform and to make changes to please a man. But why? I don't know the answer but I think I will consciously make an effort to try to stay as TRUE to myself as possible without trying to conform just to capture a man. You just have to like me for me and if not you can go kick rocks. And I mean that in the nicest way. I shouldn't have to, nor should any woman have to tweak herself just to please a man or capture a man. I know that men don't ask us to do these things but again we women are trying to obtain that goal and sometimes that means making changes.

2010-01-13T20:02:00.000-05:00

All the SINGLE ladies...
All the SINGLE ladies...

Why must all the SINGLE ladies be called out? Everywhere I turn there is something about SINGLE women. Just recently there was a TV special on single women, black SINGLE women at that. Then I get an email from Essence magazine about a chat about marriage, Black women, and the SINGLE life. I mean c'mon. Is it that serious? I mean it's not that bad to be a SINGLE woman or is it? Am I missing something?
We watch these shows like Sex and the City, Girlfriends, and now more recently Let's Talk About Pepa which revolves around four SINGLE women, black women. But why does it matter? I mean surely black women aren't the only ones who are SINGLE. Yeah sure I see more of my other female friends getting married or being in committed relationships. On the same hand I have a lot of black female friends who are either married, engaged, or in committed relationships. So it's not just the black community.
Now the SINGLE women that I know are all great women just waiting for the right person to come along, myself included. There's nothing wrong it. People seem to get this impression that since we (women) are SINGLE that there's something wrong us. Or that we're used goods. Or that we have high standards. Or whatever other reason a female maybe SINGLE. How about there are actually some women who enjoy being SINGLE? Maybe women aren't willing to just settle and that's fine, why should they? Has anyone ever asked the men why they are SINGLE? Why are they afraid to committ? I mean that seems to be the biggest reason I have found as to why men are SINGLE. Or maybe it just all boils back down to they haven't found the right one either.
Maybe its just me but I don't feel bad being a SINGLE woman. I enjoy the SINGLE life. There are times of course when I may "wish" to have a boyfriend or even husband and then I hear some of the troubles my married, engaged, comitted friends go through and I'm glad all over to be SINGLE. So the next time I hear the song calling all the SINGLE ladies out. I'm just going to smile and proudly put my hand up. I'm living the SINGLE life waiting patiently for the right one to come along.

Second Chance Dating

2009-11-01T17:08:00.003-05:00

Now I'm not big on second chances especially when it comes to dating but time can change that. I posted about a year ago about a not so great date I had with a guy. And most recently he hit me up out of the blue and we went out on a 2nd date. Now mind you a whole year plus has passed since our first date but we both concluded at the end of the second date that this time around was much better.

There could be a few things to lead this. One we were both open and willing to try again. We both were a lot more relaxed and a lot more talkative. And I have to say that I am kind of digging this cat. He doesn't seem like the Jerk I had initially wrote him off to be. Initially when he asked to take me out again I was cut off guard and I flat out asked him why? His answer was because he was still interested even after all of this time. So of course he flipped the question on me. My answer was I was just curious to see if this time would be any better. And at the end of the day I'm glad I did. Although I made a fool of myself at the date (singing karaoke (very hoarse) at a restaurant), I had fun.

So we now have another date planned and I am looking forward to it. Who says that 1st impressions are lasting impressions?

Natural or Straight Single Girl

2009-10-14T21:51:00.004-04:00

So this past weekend I went to see the documentary Good Hair by Chris Rock. For those who don't know what Good Hair is, it's a documentary that shows African American hair care, especially amongst black women. After this seeing this documentary a lot of thoughts ran through my head including the nature of my own hair. Today I was speaking to a co-worker about natural hair vs. straight, relaxed hair. Now what I mean by natural hair is virgin hair or hair that is not chemically altered. Relaxed hair is chemically altered hair that is straightened with a relaxer. Our conversation went into our feelings of having straight hair vs. natural hair and how it affects men.

I will say that I have been on both sides of the fence. And when I had natural hair my confidence level shot down. I no longer felt as pretty or as attractive and mainly because the attraction just was not there from the opposite sex. The men that I was now attracting were neo-soul, Afrocentric men. Now don't get me wrong there is nothing with these men, they just aren't my cup of tea. But even hearing comments from men such as "I'd bet you'd look good if you relaxed your hair." Wait. What?? Are you serious? And so no wonder I had these feelings because you are viewed differently when your hair is natural. It's almost as if you're a different person. But at the end of day it's just hair. And your hair should not define you. Needless to say I did go back to a relaxer. And I must say that it takes a strong individual to be able to maintain a natural state of hair and get past what is the "norm". Especially when there are so many ads, commercials, celebrities who advertise straight, relaxed hair. It becomes a challenge and can be tempting.

Now that my hair is relaxed I do get more attention from men BUT my hair is short. That is another issue because men want women with long, flowing hair even if its not their own. I personally love short hair and men have said "I don't usually date girls with short hair but it looks good on you." Umm okay thanks.

But men why? Why is a woman's hair so important to you? Why would more men be quick to date a female with straight, long flowing hair even if it isn't theirs over a female with short hair or even natural hair. I find it quite interesting. My co-worker who has dreads, recently asked her husband if she had dreads when they met would he have dated her and he simply replied NO. Nuff said.....

Single Lonely Girl

2009-10-04T19:01:00.003-04:00

So being a single girl can sometimes be lonely and have you wishing/wanting that special someone in your life. And although I have heard all things such as be patient, it'll come, you'll find the one it just doesn't seem to happen. And trust when I say I am pretty much content as a single girl but some days you just wish/want more. When I say more I mean that one special person that you can share things with, your ups and downs, intimacy and most importantly friendship. Not just any type of friendship. You have friendships with your peers, your family, and your best friends but none of them are the same as having that friendship with a significant other.

Recently someone asked me why was I single? Is it because I'm anti-man? LOL. I actually had to laugh at that and explain why. So then I pose the question to myself. Why am I still single? Am I anti-man? Well to answer that I would give the same answer I gave them. I'm in a relationship with myself. I am busy doings things on my time that I like to do by myself. I basically am doing me. There is no harm in that. I am a full time employee as well as a student by night. Going to school at night is no easy feat and leaves you with no time and trying to catch up on sleep. Therefore my dating life has completely stalled. And I am not currently looking for anyone I am taking it one day at a time and if it happens, it happens. But then there are moments like now where I'm thinking when will I find him? Will it be in the near future? when I least expect it? when I am interested in someone else? I don't know but for now all I can do is patiently wait. I'm sure someone will come around....

Why Do Men Lie???

2009-08-29T01:14:00.004-04:00

Why do guys lie? And I'm not saying all guys lie but most do. It just seems to be in their element and the thing about it is they ALWAYS get caught. So why do it? Why can't guys just be straight up? Can't guys just keep it 100%? And the thing about it is even though you can ask a guy to be straight forward with you and no bullshyt they still seem to LIE. And why is that? What is the point of it? What do men get out of lying to a female? Yes I understand that there maybe ulterior motives, usually sex and that maybe one of the reasons to lie. Or you as a male are trying to cover up something, which again if we're going to be straight up then be straight up. Don't be a lil boy about it, be a MAN. That's all we females ask. Own up to it.

I did a Google search and found that men tend to lie more than women. Why is that? Different reasons they found were to get out of a situation, insecurity, or because they just plain feel there's nothing wrong with it, or because they feel a woman is stupid just to name a few.

I think that men do underestimate women and sometimes feel that they are stupid and won't catch on.

So I posed the question to two guy friends about why do men lie? And the answer I got was we just do, or they lie to get away with shyt. My answer is they lie just to be assholes. Point blank.

Actions speak louder than words. You see what happened to Pinocchio's nose.

The Short of it All

2009-08-16T01:07:00.007-04:00

My girlfriends have recently been clowning each other on who's the shortest. And guess what I am it. And that's fine because I am a female. But when it comes to men not only does there seem to be a shortage of men, there seems to be a shortage of tall men.

Ladies take a look around the next time you are at the club, at a restaurant or wherever. You will notice that most of the men are about 5'8 and under. And I know what you're thinking you're short (meaning me) so how can you call someone else short? Easy. I certainly can tell the difference between a tall person and short person, even with me being short. And its funny to me because when I was in high school a lot of the guys were 6'0 ft or so. Now not so much. What has happened?

Where have all the tall men gone? And because I'm short the shorties tend to flock to me. Umm sorry I don't want to reproduce some other lil shorties. Lol. It's okay if they are female but since there are no guarantees then scratch that. I have to think about my future here and my kids as well. I just don't get it though. Most rappers are short, actually most celeb men are short and much shorter in person that they appear on TV.

What happened to the days of tall men? Tall men like Michael Jordan. Snoop Dogg. Will Smith. Not that any of these men tickle my fancy but I'm trying to make a point here. Seriously when you go to the club the tall guys now stand out because everyone else is around the same height. It's sad I know but true.

What can be done? I've come up with some solutions-one being you could rock some lil high heeled booties like my man Prince (he's a hot shorty). Or you could stop wearing skinny jeans that make you look like you're a 10 year old. You're already short please don't make it worse wearing 2T sized clothing. You could hang with a bunch of other shorties and make sure you are the tallest to appear tall (at least taller). Lol.

Anyway I'm done carrying on about the short people since I am one myself. However just like there are different "standards" for males and females this is one of them. Can't we just get some tall men back? Drink more milk. And please don't take offense to this men or women I'm just trying to make short of the situtation. lol.

Single Girls Vacay

2009-08-09T14:31:00.008-04:00

Okay so I recently came back from a girls trip and as we were there we couldn't help to notice how many couples surrounded us. And we are all Single Girls. Now I come to realize that whenever I am on a trip I notice these lovey doveys and can't help to feel some type of way. Lol. But not in a bad type of way just wow I wish I could come to a hot spot and just kick back with some dude and enjoy each other. But I will say the benefits of going with ya girls are:

Being single and ready to mingle. Basically everyone there knows you ladies are there solo and so every Tom, Dick, and Harry tries their hand. But since we're on vacay it's all in fun. So go for it and have fun. Meet all the guys you want and mingle with them because guess what you're there single so why not.

Being able to do as you please. And come and go as you want. Of course you must be mindful of your companions and use some boundaries. But basically you are free to be YOU and have fun.

All the HATE. Yes I said it. When you are single and having a good time on the girls trip other females (mainly those in couples) tend to hate. They stare you down, give you evil eyes, the whole nine. And GOD forbid you say hi to their MAN they are so close to falling out. And yes I said it's a benefit because guess what that means you must be on POINT.

FUN. It's straight up fun and in a different way. It's not hanging out with your boo. It's hanging out with your girls. Daring each other to do things you normally wouldn't do at home. (hehe) Doing things and wearing things you normally wouldn't at home because you can. Partying and drinking all night and having to nurse each other in the morning and having a great time reminiscing.

Friendship. You build a better bond and have a better understanding of someone when they are on vacay. You get to let loose and let your hair down and what not better way to do it than in the company of your friends.

So of course there are some drawbacks as well like if you shared a room and wanted to bring some random stranger in you really can't (lol). But other than that there is nothing more fun than hanging with your girls. Tanning, shopping, bar hopping, drinking, partying, mingling, and more. So if you haven't had an all girls trip I say for every girl not just single girls you must do it. Just remember this saying doesn't just go for Vegas-so what happens there, stays there.

Single Girl Dating the Unknown

2009-07-11T11:19:00.003-04:00

Ok so I haven't written in awhile and that's because I really have nothing to write about. This single girl's dating has gone DRY. lol. Maybe it's the economy and guys aren't into taking guys out anymore. I mean there are a bunch of free things to do that are just as fun. Maybe it's the weather. Guys see more skin so they aren't really looking to be attached to one person. lol. Who knows. But actually I think it's me. It's me because I've just been so busy and caught with me that I haven't had time to look up and notice anyone. Lol. Is that bad? It can be. Sometimes I do want to go out on a date but then I'm like well I'm not dating anyone and haven't met anyone to date. Oh well. Doesn't suck too bad though because I'm doing me. I am working. Going to school. Traveling. Hanging out with friends and celebrating their life moments. But I have noticed one thing about myself. I continue to date guys that are familiar to me. Meaning I have known them prior-whether they are old friends or associates from school. They are someones friend or family member that I already know. Why is it that I can't find guys that are clearly unknown to me or any of my friends or family at all? Is it because the world is so damn small? Or I don't get out much? Or maybe I just don't trust or feel comfortable with the unknown? So I'm posing a question where can I meet nice, gentlemen who are complete strangers to me and my friends/family? It can't be that hard but it really is. Help me out here. Maybe I need a dating show. Oh been there, done that. Maybe I need to be open minded-but I've kind of been there done that too. Lol. One of my friends has suggested speed dating and it's a thought but does it really work. I guess I'll have to see what you guys come up with. : )

What's a SINGLE girl to do?

2009-03-29T20:13:00.003-04:00

So I'm getting pretty fed up with this dating world. I think I'm just getting fed up with the men that are available or that are or have dated me. I say this because it seems as if men in my age group are not really interested in commitment. Now I'm not saying that's true for ALL men because it isn't. I have friends who are engaged or married to great guys. I even have male friends who are serious about looking for a relationship but can't seem to find one, a good one anyway. So with all of that said recently I asked a friend of mine how was it going with this guy she was dating-her response was "umm I don't know what's going on." Then she proceeds to tell me that he is just too busy and not ready to commit to anything. I mean wtf. But I have heard this story one too many times as well so I know where she is coming from. What is it with guys in the late 20's to early 30's range being too busy and so work committed that they can't focus or have a relationship? Are men afraid of commitment? What do you think you're missing out on? You aren't getting any younger, when do you think that YOU will be ready? And yes it is true that women mature faster than men and maybe that's the reason why but then I'm like that's just an excuse. And then I'm thinking well maybe he isn't really all that into the person. Then my question is why spend so much time with this person? Why try to get to know a person for a long period of time to end up saying well I'm not looking for anything more? Wtf. Do you seriously think I need another friend? If I could count the long conversations, dinners, movies, evenings together, etc... that's a lot of time spent and WASTED. I don't know what the problem is but I wish these dudes would get it together. I'm all for you trying to get work in place amongst other things but don't miss out on a great person just because that's your focus. What options does that really leave us women? I guess we could date OLDER men ( I don't care for them too much), date women (umm I think not), or just remain SINGLE. But why? I know I won't get an answer but I guess I can remain optimistic and just see what happens. There has to be somebody out there for all of us SINGLE women.

Single Girl Dating Policies

2009-03-09T18:42:00.020-04:00

So I’ve come to the conclusion that all men know what to do on a date. Not all men know proper dating etiquette. Now that can be for several reasons: they have no manners, the female(s) before have never expected them to, or they just don’t care. Most recently on MTV’s from G’s to Gents the G’s had a lesson on etiquette. They then had to display what they learned while on a date with Esther Baxter. It was quite hilarious how so many of them were clueless. Now I’m not saying all men have to follow this because not all women are into chivalry. However, I can say that this young lady right here is. And I don’t mean do these things ONLY on the first date. This should be done all the time especially if you’re dealing with a LADY. So listen up.

Please be sure to be well groomed. I mean I spent my 30 min in the shower and another 30 figuring out what to wear, another 30 doing my hair, and another 30 putting on makeup and other finishing touches. So if I took ALL of that time trying to make sure I look and smell good then the least you can do is the same. Hair should be combed, teeth and breath fresh, shoes shouldn’t be dirty or your clothes, jeans shouldn’t hang down to your kneecaps- we are adults dress like one, and most importantly your hands should be clean.

Please open all doors (including my car-even if I’m the driver) and pull out chairs if we’re out dining somewhere. And when I say open the doors I don’t mean open the door and you walk through. I mean open and hold the door let me walk through first and then you do the same. And as far as the car you can miss this one sometimes, I’ll let you slide.

Please if we’re going out to eat, I don’t care if it’s just IHOP- you should not be eating your food with your hands. That’s why we have eating utensils. It’s okay for certain foods but no for all. Basically if we’re out to eat, especially at a nice restaurant please turn your manners up a notch. That means no elbows on the table, no reaching across the table, no talking with your mouth full, no licking your fingers afterwards, no wearing your hat in the restaurant, put your napkin in your lap when the food first arrives, etc… If you need more dining manners Google it. I’m not saying you have to know which fork goes with what because even I don’t know all that but it may impress me if you do. Just know the basics. Lol.

And while we’re on the subject of eating please, please, please do not get onions or at least try not to eat them. Well not if you’re planning on kissing me. I can’t stand onions and onion breath is not easy to tame. I can offer you a hundred and one mints and I will still smell it, which will then make me turn my nose up in disgust. But if you MUST have onions have some mouthwash, toothbrush, or something just as strong on hand because gum and mints don’t always do the trick.

Please make sure that if we STOP at a gas station and you happen to be RIDING in my whip to get your a** out and pump the gas. I’m not saying you have to pay it (which would be nice since I am driving) but at least get out and pump. It’s the least you could do.

Please don’t be all loud and ghetto and all on your cell phone. Don't be cursing and whatnot all loud in public when do you have to take a call. I mean its okay to take a call here and there-well not really. Lol. But if it’s a call you were expecting or an emergency. Other than that the phone should be on silence, vibrate, or better yet off-you’re with me. Focus!!!

Eye contact is great. Don’t be looking at my booty or anywhere else for that matter. At least if we have good eye contact I know that you are focused on me and paying ME attention. That is always a plus!!!! (I could do better at this myself)

Being on time is a MUST. How can I wait on you when I’m already 10-15 min late? Lol. I’m late because of all that prep time I took to get ready for YOU so please try to be on time. And if I am on time and you’re not oh we’re going to have some problems. Both of us can’t be late. Lol. But I’m not a total witch about being on time if you know how to pick up the phone and call and say,”hey sorry but I am running late because of x, y, z.” I shouldn’t have to call your phone like 15-20 min after meeting time like “hey where are you?” No. That’s not cool. So just try to be on time. Leave the being late up to me. : )

Please don’t be super arrogant and so stuck on yourself that you talk a whole in MY head about YOU. It’s okay if I’m asking you questions about yourself but when you randomly start throwing out who you know, how much you make, and what you got then I’m already uninterested. Keep that to a minimum. And on the flip side don’t be a COMPLETE mute. I like to talk and I would appreciate someone to have a conversation with. Not just me yapping and you listening. It gets boring and old really fast. So if you think you won’t have much to say then maybe you should stay home.

This is an ultimate no- DO NOT come to pick me up for a date and sit outside blowing the horn. Be a gentleman. Get your lazy tail out of your car and walk to my door and ring my bell. Now this usually does not apply to me since I usually meet guys out as I don’t like people at my house. But this should apply anyway for anybody else.

And last but not least if you ask ME on a date I expect YOU to pay. Not for us to go dutch or for you to ask for help on the bill. You should be paying in full. I’m not saying we can’t ever go dutch or that I can’t sometimes pay for the date because I do but that needs to be discussed prior to so that I know what I’m getting myself into.

All in all dating should be about having fun. And we shouldn’t have rules but unfortunately we do. All I want is to be treated like a lady. I act like a lady so why not try treating me like one. It’s the least you can do and we’ll have a wonderful time. : )

And not ALL dudes totally disregard etiquette just some of the few I seem to pick up.

Dating in the New Year

2009-01-11T15:05:00.002-05:00

So I am starting the New Year with a new perspective. Basically I have realized a pattern within myself while dating. I tend to date a few guys at a time and then all of a sudden I really like one. Then it happens... I cut everybody back or just cut them off. I put all of my time and my effort into this one person because I feel a connection and feel that maybe, just maybe it could work. And at times this seems to backfire on me. And I had to think about it and say to myself why do I keep doing the same thing. I start dating this one person and put all of my time and energy into this ONE person. To think that ONE person that I am dating, not even in a relationship with is getting so much of my time and attention is appalling. I can't even believe myself. And what's worse is when the ONE person I have put my energy into is not even worth it or is not even thinking about me the same. So I have changed my perspective and made a goal for myself. I will no longer put all of my time and energy into ONE person because simply put they just aren't worth it. Well I don't really mean that they aren't worth it but why waste all of your time and focus on ONE person when simply put that person may not be into you the way you are into them. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing but you want to keep your options open. So basically I am doing things a bit differently for the New Year as well as for the future. Maybe the outcomes will be much different than the ones I am getting now. Who knows... it could happen.

Dating Tips (not mine-lol)

2008-11-18T11:50:00.003-05:00

I'm posting some dating tips I got from an email that was forwarded to me. I think some of the tips are good but some (okay one) is a lil far fetched. Well maybe I just don't have self control that's what. lol. But tell me what you think about these tips below. Maybe you agree or disagree. Let me know. If I end up dating anyone else new I may try to apply some of these tips and see where it lands me.

Dating Tips to Grow a Strong Relationship!

Pray – Before you even leave home to meet your date you need to spend time on your knees asking God to help you honor Him and your date. You can never go wrong with prayer. This will also put you in the proper mind-set for your time together.
Talk a lot – There’s no better way to get to know someone than by talking to them about a wide variety of topics. The more you talk, the more you will begin to know if this might be a relationship that you should pursue.
Let’s be friends! – This is an important dating tip to remember. Don’t forget that until you are married the person you are dating could be some one else’s future mate. When you begin dating someone there is a lot of pressure to move things along much too quickly. Choose to keep your relationship on a friendship level. The longer you can remain 'just friends', the better your relationship will be if you decide to get married at some point.
It's great being married to your best friend!
Pray in groups – What in the world does that mean? This sounds like an odd dating tip. What we’re suggesting is that you don’t pray together alone as a couple too early in your relationship. Prayer is so very important in any relationship so please don't misunderstand this point. When you pray with someone of the opposite sex that you care about you begin to build a level of intimacy that can often lead to trouble.
The goal in any Christian relationship is to honor God. Prayer is intimate communication with God and can draw couples together in ways not intended if you are not careful. It’s better to pray together when you are with other Christians. This will help keep the focus on God and not allow thoughts and emotions to wander to prohibited areas.
Choose to not kiss – At least until you are engaged to be married. Okay, this can be extremely difficult, but if you can follow this one dating tip then most of the others will happen naturally. Even kissing once you are engaged can be very dangerous. It’s better to not kiss at all until your wedding day! Before you laugh and click to another page with thoughts that we must be insane, consider these points on kissing.
A kiss begins to sexually stimulate a man (and woman) instantly.
If you aren’t kissing then you won’t become tempted to take things to a more intimate level. You’ll be protecting yourself and the purity of your date.
If a Christian man is kissing his date and it gives him an erection (often just the possibility of a kiss can do this), is God or his date being honored?
Is this healthy for the man to get sexually aroused time after time without sexual release? When men become sexually aroused a large amount of blood flows to the genitals. If ejaculation does not occur; the build up of blood can become painful. That just can't be a good thing for anyone! Ouch! :O)
A kiss will surely break down your barriers and leave you in a position that could ultimately devastate your relationship with your date and separate you from a close walk with God. Self-control seems to be the better option.
Just think how magical that first kiss will be if it is saved for your wedding day!
Include another couple – You will find that physical issues are much less distracting if you plan most of your dating situations to include other couples. Group dates can be a lot of fun and you’ll also be helping your friends maintain purity in their relationships as well.
Always treat each other with respect – If you respect the person you are with then you won’t say or do things that will intentionally hurt them. Ask yourself 'what would Jesus do?' and then do it!

Please don’t simply read these dating tips and then not try to apply any of them to your dating situations. Dating is a wonderful experience and should be enjoyed by both people in the relationship. If you came searching for these dating tips then you have a desire to honor your date and honor God with the choices you will make while dating.

Happy Dating...

2008-11-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

So I'm sure you have heard the saying "too good to be true". Well that's how I feel about this situation. And I am a thinking person and so I always think the worst can happen and am surprised when it doesn't, especially when I think everything is going so swell. Is there such a thing as things really going perfect anyway? Even though there may not be it sure does seem close. And maybe its the beginning stages of dating someone you truly like. Its really great when that someone likes you back just the same. I can honestly say that in the last month I've been a lil more smiley and more easy going. Lol. Could it be that special someone? And why is that anyway? I know I was happy before he came along but I think an inner glow just seems to come out when a special someone is making you happy. Its a beautiful thing and a great feeling almost as if you're on cloud nine. Lol. Is there such a thing? Well if there is I'm going to enjoy it while I can. I can truly say I am happily dating. I can't wait for the next time we meet. : )

Sexual Dating...when????

2008-11-14T10:21:00.003-05:00

So within the last two weeks I have posed a question to my friends. When you're dating someone when is the best time to have sex? I got a variety of answers from the first date to three months, even wait till marriage (I don't know about that-lol) or when the time is right. But how do you know when the time is right? Now I know that we are adults (at least we should be) but you still want to have some type of restraint. Don't you? I mean I would say do what you feel but at the same time I don't want the guy looking at me sideways plus been there done that. And I feel that as we mature things change. Sex isn't the same for me as it was a few years ago. I guess I'm just not into casual sex. It gets old and unforfilling. So then what do you do? Back to the same question because you can't bone EVERY guy you meet or date (at least I'd hope not-lol) but to each its own. So when is the best time? I read an article that says to wait at least a month and that sounds reasonable because by then you should have had a few dates and gotten to know the person a lil better. And the saying is true that sex is more emotional for women (at least some), I know it is for me. If I'm not really feeling the person on some type of level then its not happening and if it does happen by some chance then it won't be good.
Honestly for me sex can make or break a date or sometimes even a relationship. lol. I mean if its good (wish I'm praying it is) then everything is good but if its not then damn wtf. lol. It's almost as if the attraction goes down hill but it also all depends on the timing. And that's why its so key to have it at the right time and not to rush. So the moral of the story is if you want something out of your dating friend then maybe its best not to rush and wait for the RIGHT time or you could just be a sex object. lol.

Date Anxiety

2008-11-14T09:34:00.005-05:00

okay so this isn't my first date with him but I am still anxious as if it is. I'm not quite sure why that is. I think I was less anxious and nervous than this the FIRST time we went out. So I just need to relax. But I swear time is going by so slow. This whole week has gone by slow. I think it maybe because one- I really really like him. And second this time we're on my turf as opposed to me going to his side of town. I know that I have a lot planned for us and I guess I'm just hoping that everything goes smoothly. You know how it is when you have plans and you want them to go right. So anyway I guess that's why I have all the anxiety at this moment.

Anyway date anxiety is something that I'm sure most of us either go through or have gone through. And I guess it really depends on how much you like the person cause we all know it ain't the same for everybody. I mean we all get nervous at times and it can even happen on the date itself. But the key thing is just to be easy and not let the butterflies get the best of you. Be your charming, beautiful, witty self and all will fall into place, at least that's what I keep telling myself. ; 0

Stalker Date

2008-08-21T09:10:00.002-04:00

Have you dated someone who was a STALKER? Who was obsessed with you? who was a Bug-a Boo? I mean what are these dudes thinking? I hope they don't think that its cute to chase a woman down to the point that she is scared for her life and wants to file a restraining order. I had a guy recently who I dated for such a small amount of time that I didn't even understand where all the EXTRA was coming from. The constant emails and calls begging to speak to you. I mean c'mon wtf is really good no wonder you're single. I had another dude I used to date that told me straight up that he would not stop calling me until I had changed my phone number. I mean what is that about? Is that supposed to make me answer your calls or respond to your many texts and emails? Are guys that pressed for a female that they go to extremes. A girlfriend of mine recently told me that a guy she dated was going through her trash and found out her work address after she broke it off with him. When is enough is enough? When is a woman saying to a man hey it's over and let's leave it at that just be THAT. Why should there be anymore especially if there's a breakup and maybe not a friendly one at that? What pushes a guy over the edge to the point that they start to harass a woman? Aren't we ALL adults? If I say please leave me alone shouldn't that be just that. Do I need to say it a different way or in a different language? Is there a different interpretation for leave me alone? I used to have this boyfriend who a bit crazy so I left him alone. Well it didn't stop there. It started with him popping up at places he knew I would be at to him calling my friends and family to find out where I was. Can we get your life together. What's really going on? When someone says its over its over. Granted there maybe a slight chance that if you have feelings for the person you may try to win them back but not to the point where they fear you. That's not even cool. So with all that said guys and girls too being a stalker is NOT cool. Its downright scary. Who wants to constantly watch their back just because you don't understand that we're broken up. It's bad enough we have other things to worry about while dating but stalkers too... wow what is this world coming to....lol

Bad Date

2008-08-13T09:58:00.006-04:00

What constitutes a bad date? A bad date could be two people just not feeling each other or mainly one not feeling the other and it shows. Or it could be the event or things that occur during the event. There could be a lot of reasons as to why a date goes bad. And I've had my fair share of bad dates. All in all they are lessons to be learned. I always try to think about what part I played in the bad date and vice versa. Now there are ways to come back from a bad date but some are just not fixable. lol. I had one guy I went out with (and I will take a lot of blame here) that I showed up late to where we were supposed to meet. He kept calling me but I was on a long distance VERY IMPORTANT phone call so I would not click over. When I finally called him he had left our meeting spot but said he would meet me closer to where we were supposed to have dinner. Ok fine. So I get to our meeting spot and park my car and he meets me at my car and then we drive around looking for parking for his car. SO he decides to park right in front of the restaurant. Now I should've known something was up because you are not allowed to park in front of the establishment. He tells me not to worry about it that he'll just get a ticket. Umm ok. Moving right along we get inside the restaurant. Now here is when things really go sour. He starts talking (bragging) about himself and how he has this and that. So I pretend I'm listening but its hard to focus because I'm supposed to meet my girls after dinner with this dude and they keep blowing up my phone. Now granted usually I would put my phone on silence but because I had to meet them somewhere I kept it on vibrate. So the more he talked about self the more I lost interest and the more my phone buzzed. I apologized profusely but honestly I didn't even care. So now we order. He orders an appetizer along with dinner. The appetizer comes he devours it then excuses himself to the bathroom....... 15 min later I'm like wtf is up. Did he get sick? ... 30 min later and I call his phone goes to vm. I call a few more times-same thing. wtf. no wait for real did dude leave? So I have my friend call him and he picks up and as soon as she mentions my name the phone disconnects. Ok so now I know that my DATE left me. lol. I can't believe this. But I find it hilarious until the waitress comes over. I explain to her the situation she asks me do I still want his meal to come out (umm NO) and then she tells me to just enjoy my dinner but that I will have to pay for the appetizer he ate. wtf. are you serious right now. So now I'm mad but you know what I don't even care. I sit and enjoy my dinner and her tip was right there in the appetizer. Did I hear from him again of course not. Did I learn a lesson. You bet. Don't go out with ugly dudes just for a free dinner. lol. especially if you're not interested for real. So that goes down as WORST DATE EVER. Do I and the few friends I told still laugh about it. Of course.

Interracial Dating

2008-08-06T09:47:00.004-04:00

What exactly does that mean? Most people consider interracial dating to be a black/white couple. But there can be all types of interracial dating. I wanted to post this today because I recently went on a date with my friend who happens to be Caucasian. As you can see I have no problem dating outside of my race. I guess it has something to do with my background and the way I was raised. I try not to look at someones race as an issue we are ALL equal in my opinion. We all bleed, cry, hurt, love and go through the same things however different it maybe for you or others. Needless to say while I was out with my friend we passed a guy who happened to be my race and he started making rude comments and shouting obscenities about us. I tried to ignore the situation and start conversing with my friend who I am sure heard the person as well. It's almost scary-what do you do in that situation? Is it fair for someone to judge whom you choose to date?

I was watching the Black in America series and there was a young black woman on there who spoke of her white husband and biracial children. She talked about how his family would make remarks about their relationship and not just his family but strangers in passing as well. Again why is it that people feel they can pass judgement on other people's relationships? I hear the stories about the black women who get upset when they see a white woman dating a black man. Who cares? Why is it any of your concern? Clearly that's who he chose and you shouldn't be trying to figure out what went wrong and why he didn't choose you or someone else. That is his preference just like we all have preferences. Why should we knock someone for their decision.

Something New was a movie in which a black woman starts dating a white man. She has to deal with her feelings for this man as well as the reaction of her family, friends, and strangers. And I could completely understand what she was going through. You want to try "something new" but then you're afraid because you don't know what peoples reactions are going to be. And not that someones reaction should dictate your relationship but you feel uncomfortable when you hear remarks and stares just because of who you are with. You feel uncomfortable to hold their hand, kiss them in public but at the same time you don't want the uncomfortableness to show through. You want everything to seem normal just as if you were out with someone of your own race. You try to get past the uncomfortableness but its hard. And then eventually I'm sure it gets to a point where you just say Fu*k it. Anyway I don't really know where I am going with this I just needed to get my thoughts out. But people need to either mind their business or be more open minded. This is the new millennium let's get it together.....it's no longer Jungle Fever you can't help who you love....... so I'm going to keep pressing on and try to move pass the haters and keep dating whomever I want whether they be purple, Asian, or whatever. I just want peace and happiness.