I’ve always thought of myself as a northern comedian, because the further north I go the more comfortable I tend to feel.

Barry says that Sir Les has yet to make an appearance on American soil.

I’ve not really tried him out on the Americans yet, because Les has a kind of music hall vulgarity that might offend the survivors of Plymouth Rock, the inheritors of that Puritan tradition. Every now and then, I look into an American audience and right at the back I can see some tall black hats.

Sir Les, being a diplomat, just wants to increase the bond between England and Australia.

He doesn’t feel you need to know anything more about culture, so he’s concentrating on cheese. He’s chairman of the Australian Cheese Board and he does a lot of cheese promotion. He will be discussing cheese in the presence of a full orchestra when he comes to Manchester. His recommendation? Tasmanian mauve vein. It comes in a cylindrical form.

When Sir Les hits the stage in Manchester on Wednesday, September 16, a whiff of Australia’s finest cheese is sure to follow.

From his love of Kraft cheese as a boy, to the Endeavour Blue that is served at all the Patterson functions, Sir Les certainly has his nose to the rind.

Sir Les and Dame Edna will be touring venues in England, Scotland and Wales this autumn in a show billed as the Last Night Of The Poms.

• SECC & Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow - Friday September 11th
• Usher Hall, Edinburgh - Saturday September 12th
• Royal Albert Hall, London - Tuesday September 15th
• Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester - Wednesday September 16th
• Brighton Centre, Brighton - Friday September 18th
• The National Indoor Arena, Birmingham - Tuesday September 22nd
• Sheffield Arena, Sheffield - Wednesday September 23rd
• Cardiff International Arena, Cardiff - Friday September 25th
• Bournemouth International Centre, Bournemouth - Saturday September 26th
• Odyssey Arena, Belfast - Tuesday September 29th
• Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool - Friday October 2nd
• Trent FM Arena Nottingham, Nottingham - Saturday October 3rd

Sir Les was conspicuous by his absence at the shows in San Francisco earlier this year. But now that President Barack Obama is safely in office he can resume his duties providing intimate lectures to arena audiences. Carl Davis CBE will also be present to conduct the band.

Be warned that venues will not supply water-proofs to attendees in the first 4 rows during the lecture.

Latest reports suggest that the more fanatic Sir Les followers, known as ‘The Diplomats’, have already started camping outside venues 24 hours before tickets officially go on sale. But that maybe a lie.

Dame Edna Everage on her way to Liverpool for Last Night of the Poms - Liverpool Daily Post.co.uk
Good news, Possums! - Chortle : The UK Comedy Guide
Sir Les Patterson Tour Dates & Tickets - ents24.com

There will, however, be the introduction to an American audience, for the very first time, of Sir Les Patterson. He’s a character that’s been in my repertoire for a long time. He’s a very overweight - or, as you say in the States, “heavyset” - gross Australian politician in a stained powder-blue suit, deeply stained tie, always carrying a drink, who’s now the Australian ambassador to the States. This will be an experiment to see how people take it, because he’s such a contrast to Edna. He’s very good for political comment.

That’s Barry Humphries describing Sir Les to the San Francisco Chronicle.

It appears that Sir Les has become the Australian ambassador to the United States of America. No doubt he’ll be involved in high-level talks with President-elect Barack Obama.

Our new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd (the dentist), has had as many overseas trips at the taxpayers’ expense as I have. Unlike a couple of his predecessors, he has not sought my advice about discreet rub-and-tug shops in Bangkok, though I would have been delighted to assist him should he be desirous of getting his rocket polished in a tasteful setting. He needs to watch his back, however, because Malcolm Turnbull - the next prime minister, incidentally - is waiting for the first opportunity to shaft him. Malcolm, like me, comes from a good old Irish-Australian background, but he once gave me a serve in the British press, accusing me of damaging Australia’s overseas image. I didn’t give a stuff because, quite frankly, I am Australia’s overseas image. But I had to hand it to old Mal. If you’re a nonentity, as he was at the time, the best way to get a bit of publicity is to impugn the patriotism of a bloke everyone knows and loves. I felt like shaking his hand, though my hand was pretty busy at the time. Are you with me?

Diary and Diplomatic Notebook both from The Spectator

• Alan Jones Interviewing Sir Les Patterson - Sir Les admits that he started in politics because of the perks and answers the tough questions of the day from the shows callers.
• Peter Cook & Les Patterson opening Melbourne Comedy Festival - news footage of the opening of the first comedy festival back in 1987.

This only begs the question, considering that it was uploaded at the beginning of the year, why has it taken me so long to find it?

It shows Sir Les relaxing in an exclusive Melbourne bar, with a glass of scotch and a government sponsored research assistant called Holly close to his side.

I met Barry Humphries only about twice in my life, and it was two times too many. He’s up himself, and I don’t get the point of him. He’s not my type and he is not a good representative of Australia. That’s all I want to say, I’m saying no more.

Sir Les confesses that when he was younger he was worried that he was deformed, he also puts to rest the superstition that Australia doesn’t have any culture and that he hasn’t picked anything up in Bangkok that has lasted for very long. He also gives valuable advice on dry cleaning garments.

According to the Reuters news agency Barry Humphries has been ordered to rest for six months by his doctors after complications over his appendix surgery. This, of course, means that his North American tour and his appearance at the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival have both been cancelled.