BALD AND BOUGEE

Cyber Porn #2

2014-10-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

This has been some lame ass and crazy bullcrap with this C.P. part #2, it has taken me almost two months to complete. I swear I’ve attempted to save two separate drafts, and each one miraculously disappeared into cyber “porn” space…..Bye Felicia! I was starting to feel a slight conspiracy jumping off. While on this earth quaking mission of continuous self evaluation I started to feel that the sabotage was real and all the while it was being generated by yours truly. Diva Me!! See…..after writing Cyber Porn# 1, some uncomfortable feelings started to “bubble up”, resurfacing unresolved emotions that were just sitting on the back burner seething. Truth being told I am grateful, and humbled to have made it to the other side of the initial befuddling confusion and bullshit. No regrets. I lived it; I enjoyed it, and I took from it some much appreciated life lessons. Some fascinating and very fine men have passed thru my life via cyber porn, and many remain close friends today. Yupp! I’m still registered on a few sites (don’t hate the player, hate the game), but I’m not trying to take this crap too seriously. I’m no longer looking for Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or Mr. Cunnilingus. Don’t judge me. It’s my truth. It is meant for entertainment purposes only. Right!? #nofilternobullshit.

**Side Rant: I just wanted you to fuck me, but then I got greedy. I wanted you to love me.

In early 2009, after more than enough years of playing head games, hearts or tails and trump this! Combined with the never-ending coochie charade, I had settled into a comfort zone of sorts, and I was comfortable and complacent in my bullshit. Mainly, because nothing ever leads in the direction I envisioned; true love or some other reasonable facsimile. I was still dealing with the blind and failed attempts at romance. However, the unsuspected happened over a simple meet and greet with the owner of that deep sexy voice from that frequented chat line for thick sistahs. (Don’t nothing want a bone, but a dog), He was married, and I knew it, and I didn’t give a damn (Throw it! I dare you! that stone you bout to cast). Hell! I wanted to be wanted, and he wanted the catch of the day. It started simple enough with movie dates, ice cream cones, and surprise lunches to the little park up the hill from my job. Our affair became a wild frenzy of mid-day sex-capades on a weekly basis; add in the occasional trips eastbound to a hide-away love shack, and I joining him on short impromptu business trips. The Per Diem was good too; The Marriot, The Hiltons, various suites over looking golf courses, and a bunch of hot nasty sex on private balconies. It always starts out pretty, doesn’t it? He had major issues with being judged as a “Sugar Daddy”. Now, of course in the beginning he would give me whatever I asked for, but as time progressed he settled into a "lunch money" mode...$40 Dollars!!Shit! I should have asked for more had I known I’d become a twisted, caught up, caught under, nose wide open, and miserable side-chick. I was totally in lust with another chicks dude for almost 5 years. Insanity! Coming off the bench to play starting line-up on another b*tches team! The time that I invested into that bullshit, was a part of my journey, not my destination. I DO NOT endorse, nor do I condone sleeping with a married man by any means, it is a lonely, pathetic and heartbreaking existence, morally wrong, and just plain fucked up. I won’t kiss and tell though; two wrongs do not a right make. After all, he is a father, a grandfather, a friend, a prominent business man, with various occupations, and historical accomplishments. If I did that he’d then realize that I knew everything; including, but not excluding his address, his wife’s name, his educational history, his job/career history, and all his grown ass kid’s names, birth names, birth dates, and family history……..Boom! Bam! Pow!

Diva O.U.T.

Cyber Porn #3 – I’ll be bringing you up to date on my current situation, and asking you to also share your own on-line dating experiences. I Dare You!!!

A Book Review......Real Love II; The Story of an Extraordinary Woman...by Beverly Broadus-Green (Snoop Dogg's mother)

2014-09-17T21:42:00.003-07:00

It is the similarities, both large and small that bring us together, and those “Extraordinary” things we share as women, as mothers, daughters, sisters and friends that bring us close. A true blessing occurs when an Extraordinary Woman shares the jewels, those diamonds that have formed in her life because of God’s alchemy. Evangelist Beverly Broadus Green is just that, an “Extraordinary Woman” who chose to share those precious and private moments with us. Yep! You already know Sistahfairydiva is going to keep it authentic, and genuine, the only way I know how to deliver this book review is #nofilternobullcrap. When approached by So West Coast to review the book Real Love II by Beverly Broadus-Green, I felt honored for the opportunity, and learn more about the beautiful assignment subject. I first met Beverly Broadus-Green on a Sunday at church services in Long Beach, Ca. She was still attending her childhood sanctuary; Golgotha Baptist Church. The congregation at Golgotha Baptist was friendly, and I have always been well received there. Miss Beverly from McComb, Mississippi was no different, when introduced she greeted me with kind words and a hug, and she was always the same whenever I visited. She sure knew how to rock those bad signature “church hats” too. So, you see how privileged I felt to share the “gems” from this book that have blessed my heart. God takes all the pressures of “this and that”, and he compresses, and compounds them into lessons, blessings and growth. Beverly Broadus –Green paints a picture of her own reality, making it crystal clear that she has not always been perfect, but through grace and mercy she has been saved.

She’s so much more than just Snoop’s mom, she’s a Diva. Tupac said it best, “Since we all came from a woman, Got our name from woman, and our game from a woman”…ijs. I encourage you to read the story of this Extraordinary woman, she's beautiful inside and out, Evangelist Beverly Broadus-Green who has overcome many obstacles, and humbly admits that when she accepted God into her life she was finally able to find, and experience……….…. Real love.

Humility is Strength......

2014-08-29T22:41:00.000-07:00

Won’t He do it? God can/will show up and get your attention. No! He will demand your attention. Straight up! Lord, I have been STRETCHED. It’s been over a week since I lost my keys, and it has truly been a humbling experience. What’s the lesson in all this fuckery; I ain’t got a clue. But! There’s got to be a lesson in all this. Right? Was it to teach me to be more careful and to pay closer attention to my surroundings (something I’m always stressing to my sons) or maybe I needed to change something? God in all his majesty don’t allow things to just happen. Trust me! Every follicle on your scalp stuff is for real. This humbling adventure has touched me in some precarious ways; financially (car key almost $400), physically- I have been catching the bus (certainly no problem there), working this chunky body, and getting some much needed exercise, emotionally; stressing and fretting . That drains my energy and messes with my faith. I don’t like to operate in fear/ doubt. Spiritually! I’ve been having some seriously deep conversations with God, and Self. I get emotional when I think of the goodness of Jesus. I talk with God on a daily basis, a simple “Thank you Jesus” or one of those outta body surreal soul searching talking out loud Holy Ghost conversations. This travesty of this conundrum has increased my territory. I swear my faith territory has become epic. Fearless Faith. I am reminded everyday that I am God’s child; with/ through Him I have slain and defeated much larger giants. Hello! Drug Addiction. I am a Survivor. I am a walking testimony. A miracle manifested through God’s love. More than Most things, I’m grateful to be able to go through this knowing it’s already alright. Humility has allowed me to revisit the miracles and promises of God. Real talk. No bullcrap.

Cyber Porn #1

2014-08-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

Yupp!

I have been actively participating in multiple online dating sites- “Cyber Porn” for almost a decade. Thirsty! That sounds like fucking dehydration, but most times it was my only oasis in a lonely desert of desperation. Don’t judge me! It’s my truth.

These experiences sprout a long list of What If’s (he is HIM)?, WTHell’s?, and the occasional WTF*ck’s? This hodgepodge of kooky characters ranged from any assortment of Caucasian, Afro American, Hispanic, Hindi, Asian, Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist, Baptist, and handicapped (a fact held in secret until the initial meeting…Wth!) , and all unknown or known combinations in between. Every male species regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation is on the prowl, and in search of true love/sex, and any other reasonable facsimile.

**Side Rant: Why! Do these old ass Negroes got these young children. Damn near 60years old, and got babies in elementary school. ijs…

I believed that my Cyber Porn “participation” would not be any different or any stranger than the next Divas. Yes??

***Side rant: “Just like the last b*tch, I’ll get you anything you ask for”- Tupac.

When you keep doing the same bullsh*t over and over again, expecting altered/different results….Then you’re either crazy or stupid, perhaps maybe or certainly both? I have slept with some of them, and I have accepted money from others. I ‘m not proud of it, but….. Yeah, you’re going to have process that part for yourself, I already did.

I was a “serial dater”, looking for my next fix. That fucked up addictive personality was alive and engaging. I was dating for my own ulterior motives e.g. Dinner @ nice restaurant, maybe bored/ broke and or in need of some companionship, money or sex. Don’t judge me! It’s my truth.

**Side rant:Catfish- someone who pretends to be someone they're not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

My roguish misconduct on Cyber Porn networks left me feeling unworthy, and continued to sink my self-esteem lower than I’d thought possible. You get the picture? I had exchanged one bullsh*t addiction for different one. It was like spiraling out of control in some type of carnal “addiction”, and using lust as my feel good option. Not Cool. Not smart. Not Healthy. Don’t judge me? It’s my truth.

Diva O.U.T

No Filter. No Bullsh*t.

2014-08-01T20:50:00.001-07:00

I’m still here……

Things have certainly changed in my small Universe since I last dipped down this way. It’s been well over a year since my last mediocre post, dated January 2013. It’s sad to say, it was just page filler. What I originally envisioned for Love, Life & Bullsh*t was a safe place where a Sistah could express herself, and “release” without judgment. That was the one justification that I allowed myself. most things where kept under wraps. No! I’m not about do a “tell-all” ……. well not yet anyway, some “truths” aren’t ready. My touching on a few personal issues and merely scratching the surface didn’t help me that mess was festering. It made me comfortable and complacent with sifting my feelings…. So I wrote “pretty”. What’s that Beyonce’ sang about “Pretty hurts-It’s the Soul that needs the surgery”, and by suppressing that internal bullsh*t I was keeping my spirit in critical condition. My soul was in the I.C.U. The shit got real for me, and I had to admit my fears, doubts, hopes, dreams, hang ups and hook ups. I know it just ain’t me either; we all got jewels we need to share. I was hurting inside. Once I returned to past post memories, and realized how “Shallow Hal” they all seemed (I found them to be "cute, but not as fine as me”), and knew it was the right time for a make-over. My hiatus was self imposed due to my chronic procrastination and the apparent vicious cycle of bullsh*t. Procrastination; a nasty, and ornery recurring habit that kept me locked in an alibi. “I’ll do it later”. Simply put; it’s time to talk about some of that stuff that makes me say "Damn". I would hope to think I have evolved; I pray more, I think more critically-discerning, I plan more-not better, but more. I still got to get that shit together, I doubt less, and yet I am enough. I always have this feeling of anticipation. What am I waiting for? That’s that Bullsh*t! Let me clarify some “potent” stuff………I am writing for me, for us. Some people may be offended by language and content. Some people will assume I am referring to them, if so I will call your name. Some people will judge, and feel the need to reprimand, some people may never join in on a discussion, but sit back and absorb, Welcome. There is going be a little sum sum for every Diva present; nasty, educational, erotic, sexual, praying, praising, sharing, caring giving, taking, lessons taught, lessons given.…….. No Filter. No Bullshit. Fyi- I ain’t gonna be writing long post all the time. It might just say Help! *** Diva O.U.T.

dee-vuh, -vah

2013-01-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

What is the genetic makeup of a Diva.......... First of all she is strong, she is confident, intelligent, classy, and gracious. Her attitude is a reflection of her sexiness, not her dress size. She is proud, assertive and humble - knowing her position, and maintaining it through both thick and thin. A Diva is a mover, a shaker, a ground breaker and a trail blazer. She doesn't allow any obstacle to hold her back, she maneuvers, persuades, adjusts, even barters to have things her way. Her perception of any given situation is to to accomplish her goal. Point. Blank. Period. Divas aren’t made. They are born.

Seeing My Vision....

2012-12-16T19:34:00.001-08:00

   How many times will God allow you to start your "life" over again? I ask myself this question as I plan to make this trial run in the am to Las Vegas for the next 6 weeks. "Is this a good decision?"..............

I made this sporadic decision on the way to my part time job 3+ weeks ago. I'd also decided to quit that same part time job, once I'd arrived. I needed to be able to focus on the last few weeks of school, and that included finals. I had just lost my apartment, and had finally come to grips that shit was starting to get "real". Note to self: pseudo-business and friendship do not mix.....My cape was in the cleaners, and so I was finding it hard to function as a 'Super-She-ro", while securing shelter, attending school, and attempting to get to work at the same time. During "therapy" I'd learned to prioritize, and focus, but my emotions were on an all time "SCREAM", and the fetal position is never an option. Luckily, I was blessed to have "a little change" in the bank, and as usual God was on deck.

Once the decision was made everything else was a non-friggin factor, and it was all about the planning. But, you know the old adage. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans" ..............Ha ha ha Hell!
I ran into more obstacles than you'd see at a miniature golf course. But, I wouldn't stop, I couldn't stop, I prayed, called on a few Sistah-friends from back in my hey-day, and Yes! I did me some boo-hoo'ing, but I kept it pushing.What other choice does a Diva have? Fearlessness or Bust!

      I am always "preaching" that God is only testing you speech........... "God does not give us the same test, each test is different. You pass one, and he gives you another test. They are designed to make you stronger, and to prepare you for the blessings God has in-store for you". It was time for me to suck it up, and to pass this test, and get ready for my blessing! My son Amir made it plain when he said..... "nobody can see your vision like you can. Life provides us lessons to direct and perfect our vision, but they cannot be considered lessons until you have learned from them". Boy! Did I learn, and the best lessons are either costly, or painful or BOTH.

"You gone learn today".....

1. If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is........

2. Do not take friendship for granted.

3. Depend on Y.O.U.

Oh yea! The answer to the initial proposed question............. "How many times will God allow you to start your "life" over again?

As many times as you need...............He's just GOoD like that.

*Keep the lessons/blessings coming.........Amen.

I Promise..........(SomeMoreRandomShitToo!)

2012-12-14T10:05:00.001-08:00

I Promise........ ..I will be true to my REAL SELF (whoever that bitch is on any given Sunday)...........Fuck
my Representative!

I Promise...........To keep a tight limit on the bullshit I tell myself, and zero tolerance on the B.S. I acce

I Promise...........To be just nice enough, but only when I really feel it's obligatory.
(Oh' don't act brand new)

I Promise...........To always say the ugly baby is cute.

I Promise...........To NEVER fake an orgasm.

I Promise...........Myself to work on my procrastination problem. Damn! Damn! Damn!

I Promise...........To remember that sometimes "Liking" is more important than Loving.

I Promise...........To continue to GROW in myself.

I Promise...........To continue to LEARN for myself.

I Promise...........To always LOVE MYSELF!..Smooches

I Promise...........To Honor my Parents,(Yes! Raymond too).

I Promise............To remain Grateful, Thankful, Humble, and Appreciative.

I Promise............Only Me.

Assignment #1 Eng. 101/ R. Mancia......Fall 2012

2012-10-04T23:49:00.002-07:00

Confessions of a Crack Diva: Outline

THESIS: Because of my past addiction and the pain it has caused my family, I’ve often felt like a
stranger in a strange land.

I grew up normal to me, in your average everyday dysfunctional household.
1. My Father was a neighborhood hustler, who owned and operated a gas station.
2. My parents fought a lot.
When I was just a twenty three year old crack addict, I made the unconscious decision to walk away from my family; I left my baby with mother, and existed in my very own purgatory.
1. I absolutely loved cocaine in any form, but crack was my all time favorite.
2. My family connection was immediately severed after I became addicted to drugs.
3. The interactions with my family were becoming more estranged; it’s hard to sympathize with something you do not understand.

CONCLUSION: I still feel “special”, but it is on rare occasion that I feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Shaster L. Powell
R. Mancia
Eng. 101/#1356
19 September 2012
Confessions of a Crack Diva

EXCELLENT TITLE!

               Let’s be realistic, who plans on growing up, and becoming a dope fiend? I certainly did not. My dreams were to become a writer and an attorney, the first black woman appointed to the Supreme Court. Those were mighty big dreams for a nappy headed little girl from South Central Los Angeles. Thank goodness I had the kind of mother who encouraged my sister and ME I to always accomplish the inconceivable. She influenced us to be bold in the goals we set for ourselves. I did well in school, and when I was accepted to the University of California Irvine, my entire family celebrated. I moved into the dorms on campus, and soon my recreational drug usage became an everyday habit. This was truly the beginning of my end, and the end of my teen years, my experimental twenties, and all of my developing thirties. For the next twenty plus years, I tormented my family, and I believe they suffered my addiction more than I. I truly love my family; they have never given up on me. Because of my past addiction and the pain it has caused my family, I have often felt like a stranger in a strange land. AMAZING!

               Growing up normal to me was growing up in a dysfunctional household. My father was a neighborhood hustler, who owned and operated a gas station. While, my mother got up every day and went to work at the post office. My parents migrated to California from the South, mainly because my father was in the Navy and stationed in Long Beach. My parents fought a lot. He’d break out windows, kick in doors, and he would do all this because he was afraid my mother was going to leave him. I ask you, OMIT. wWho would want to stay with a violent and delusional man? Eventually, my parents divorced; right around the same time I entered Jr. SP High school. This became a major life changing period in my life; my dad shot my mom right in front of my sister and ME I; that’s when I started experimenting with drugs. I was only thirteen.
             By the time I turned 23, I was truly addicted to crack, and I made the unconscious decision to walk away from my family. I left my baby with MY mother, and chose to exist in my very own purgatory. I absolutely loved cocaine in any form, but crack was my all time favorite. It’s true; I tried almost every other street drug imaginable, but as soon as I found crack cocaine I was home. My family connection was immediately severed after I became addicted to drugs. I was no longer that bubbly personality, college bound, first born granddaughter with the bright smile, and even brighter dreams for the future. I was dark and scary, and my family didn’t know what to say or how to act around me. I still came by my mother’s home to visit my baby, and it was always awkward, and extremely uncomfortable. My mother would make me go through this long “sterilization-sanitization” process as soon as I entered the front door. I would have to put my clothes in a plastic bag, and go straight into the tub. . The fact that my mom was raising my children, and I continued to go to prison totally eluded me. The interactions with my family were becoming more estranged; it’s hard to sympathize with something you do not understand.
                    When I became sober, my life changed for the better, and so did everything in it. I experienced wonderful things I never knew existed. I had missed so much of my life, and the lives of my entire family. There is no way you can get those years back, and the best you can do is move forward. I was ready for my life, and I was ready for new beginnings. I wanted a relationship with my sons and a friendship with my mother. I needed the chance to be the big sister I never was and to move pass PAST the age of 23. In the last seven plus years I have had the opportunity to do all that, and so much more. When I entered that residential treatment facility in November 2005, I had no idea what to expect. However, when I walked out of that program; A COMMA I felt brand new; I felt like my soul had been reunited with my heart. My family still was not sure how to approach me, but their arms were wide open.
                      I still seek validation from my mother, and I find myself sometimes making amends for things that no longer need fixing. It has taken me along time, and a lot of therapy to be able to share my emotions with others. I guess you could say my family relationships are still new, because I’m still getting to know them. I have recapped back so much of what I lost, and some of what I never had. I have regained my trust, and earned my respect. I still feel “special”, but it is on rare occasion that I feel like a stranger in a strange land.


GRADE: 20/20

YOU’RE AN EXCELLENT WRITER! FROM THE BEGINNING, YOU GRAB THE READER’S ATTENTION WITH A VERY “CATCHY” INTRODUCTION. AS YOU DEVELOP YOUR ESSAY, YOU PROVIDE VERY VIVID AND DETAILED EXAMPLES THAT SHOW HOW YOU HAVE OFTEN FELT LIKE A STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. THE WRITING IS CLEAR AND COHERENT. IT WAS AN HONOR TO READ YOUR ESSAY AND TO LEARN ABOUT A PHENOMENAL WOMAN WHO HAS REINVENTED HERSELF. THANKS FOR SHARING. MAY I USE YOUR ESSAY AS A MODEL PAPER FOR FUTURE CLASSES. SAY “YES” WHEN YOU SEE ME ON MONDAY, PLEASE.

An Interview with Actress Kim Nance

2012-03-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in the presence of someone really, really talented, and didn't have a clue? Well............I knew she was smart, because we've had some pretty deep conversations and it was obvious she was pretty too! But! The drive and determination Kim Nance displays regarding her Theater career made me proud and motivated as a black woman to accomplish my own goals It was my honor and certainly my privilege to sit down with this beautiful chocolate Diva to get the 411 on what makes this thespian tick...........

SFD: Kim I really do appreciate you giving me this opportunity to let everyone know what I've come to realize during our friendship, you're extremely talented, you are driven, determined and destined for success, a sure formula of a Diva. When did you realize that you'd been “bitten” by the acting bug?

KN: Thanks Diva, it was in the year of 2000. I was invited to participate in a dance number in a play called “I Love You But” I did it as a fluke. I was also given some short lines and scences, it was such a fun experience. I found myself loving it and wanting to do more.

SFD: Kim, What has been your most challenging role, and why?

KN: Wow! I would say the play “Reservoir Bitches” I am not one to use raw language. The characters I played “Ms. Brown”, was very vulgar (smh) and Officer Holdaway as well. It made me feel uncomfortable, but the show MUST go on.

SFD: Kim, who is your She-ro?

KN: Easy answer! My She-ro would be my mother. She is my right hand, she is always making sure things are running smoothly. She crosses all the T's and she dots every I.

SFD: Where do you see your career in the next 5, 10 or even 20 years from now?

KN: In 10 years I see myself behind the scenes, becoming one of the great, legendary agents or even a talent manager.

SFD: Favorite Playwright?

KN: David Talbert.

SFD: What's the one thing you want your fans to remember about Kim Nance?

KN: Fans can remember that I am self driven and always up for challenges and bringing out the best in me.

Coming soon @ Stage52 L.A. 5299 West Washington Blvd. Los Angeles, Ca. 90016 (323) 635-6226

Kim Nance starring in “Stop Cheating on Me” Friday 3/09/ 2012 @8pm & 3/11/2012 @8pm

Kim Nance starring in “ This House is Not a Home” 3/10/2012 @8pm & 3/11/2012 @3pm

Life, as Simple as That!....................

2012-01-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

Life, as simple as ABC or 123, well actually it's as simple as YOU make it. Truth is life is a delicate, complicated, intricate, confusing mass of everything. However it is what you make of it, your approach can and will make or break any Diva. It's not what life throws at you, it's what you pitch back. I've decided at the ripe old/ young age of Fabulous 50 to take each challenge as a blessing. I've enjoyed the good, the bad, right along with the bullshit! , and have used it to increase my awareness of all life has to offer. Look! I want the best out of life, I want to be happy and to be loved and to love in return. I'm just not willing to settle "any longer". That's not just in the "love" department, but in every endeavor; my education-Dr. Powell?, my brand (it's a marketing thang)- SistahFairy Diva WILL become a household name just like Hamburger Helper, the bestest Granma/Nana ever! Period. I aspire to be a better mother, daughter, sister, friend. I promise to be a Diva-licious Diva at all times! So why don't YOU make today your best day, and make tomorrow your brightest future. Life, as simple as that!

VEGA$ or BUST (aka Divas Road Trip #1)...............Shaster and Dedra~ January 13-15

2012-01-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in a land far away known as South Central, Los Angeles there were two young girls from opposite ends of the ghetto. Ironically they'd gone to different Jr. High schools, but as fate would have it they met up in High school to became the best of friends. They shared a true friendship that would endure an almost 30yr separation. So after 6 sons and 1 daughter collectively, plus! a whole bunch of grand babies. They embarked on the adventure of a lifetime..................Divas Road Trip #1

"Girl! Where should we go?"

After many days, hours and minutes of deliberation...............

BAM! Sin City

There were so many choices to be make regarding this adventure, and seeing as I, Sistahfairy Diva sort of consider myself as a weekend travel warrior extraordinaire, and mostly because my Twin~ Diva-licious Dedra was super happy to let me do everything (including all the driving). I jumped right in on the Diva Road Trip train, and contacted all the necessary parties; hotel, car rental, fb friends living in Viva Las Vegas. I had a few important focal points to take into consideration, because of all the "shout outs" that were coming through...........These Divas were in high demand. lol

January 12th, 2012.....Tomorrow is the big day. The rental car and hotel reservations have been confirmed. The Roots and the Zinfandel are chilled, shoes packed and routes mapped out.

January 13th, 2012 (Friday the 13th) Trip Day....................There is always, most times some bullsh*t that tries to block your FUN time. It's how you maneuver around that BS that can either make or break the situation. Well, I was late for the car pick up, and had to wait until 4:30pm for the rental. Once on the road, singing to Lee's (Garrison) mixed cd's, this Thelma was grooving and finally headed to L.A. to pick up Louise.................Car loaded and we were on are way to SIN CITY!

As they say a picture can be worth a thousand words or just a few good descriptive adjectives.........

The Plaza Hotel & Casino

Diva bed #1

Diva bed #2

Divas come prepared!

That includes BBW candles (Da Root again!)

Diva "Thelma" Glammed up for the Strip

Diva "Louise" Glammed up for the Strip

See Below: The Strip

Tickets only $25

"I am looking for a wife!"

Make a wish............

For a life full of Sistah Diva good times!!

Bentley for me!

Bentley for her too!

Martini Bar @ H2O

Lakers game @ Hooters Hotel and Casino

Pink Porsche of course

The Shark Tank@ The Golden Nugget Hotel and Casino

Big Ballin......

Ballin out of control.....

Thelma and Louise
Las Vegas 2012

The End.

Living Two lifestyles in a Single Life time.

2012-01-06T10:33:00.001-08:00

As a young girl growing up in South Central, I lived an ordinary ghetto child's life. I went to school, rode my Schwinn and fought with the home boys and my sister. Whoever would have imagined I'd grow up and become a dope fiend? I had big dreams of becoming an attorney, and had plans on attending the Thurgood Marshall School of Law in Houston,Texas. I'd also decided that I was going to marry Michael Jackson, and live in a big house with 2.2 children and a really cute dog; this was my American dream. Unfortunately fate had another plan for my life, and this dream was not to become my reality. Once I graduated from high school I began experimenting with hard drugs and became addicted to crack cocaine. My addiction became my world, I abandoned my children, alienated my family and spent the next twenty years fighting a losing battle. In 2004 after being released from prison, my parole officer gave me the option of going into treatment. At Walden House I learned how to actually "live", and was truly transformed into a new creation. That's why I'm determined to succeed in my life, because I've been given so many chances at life. How many can say they've been given the opportunity to live two different lifestyles in a single lifetime?

I smoked my first joint during the summer of my thirteenth birthday. I thought it was going to make me cool and have lots of really cool friends. I didn't know anyone that actually sold weed, so I depended on my older friends to keep me supplied. I smoked weed on and off until I got to high school and then I started smoking on a regular basis. When I was a junior in high school, my best friend's brother gave us our first taste of cocaine. The cocaine was too expensive for my budget, so I'd get it from my older cousins and their acquaintances. It was the late 1970's, and sniffing cocaine was popular and considered an upper class recreational drug.

I graduated from high school and went straight to college. I received a partial scholarship to UCI. I completed the summer program successfully, and while attending college I stayed in the dorms on campus. I started the fall semester, and things seemed to be going along just fine. I didn't do much coke, but I smoked weed whenever and as often as I could. My study habits began to deteriorate, and eventually I was placed on academic probation. After having an unsuccessful stream of roommates, I moved back home. Although I didn't live on campus, I still hung out drinking and partying with friends on campus every weekend. I never made it off probation and was put on an “indefinite” academic suspension. I never went back to school and moved in with my drug dealing boyfriend.

By the time my second son was born, I was allowing my addiction to control my life. My mother already had my oldest child, and from the looks of things she'd raise this one too. My life was spiraling out of control, and I had no clue on how to get it back. For the next ten years things kept getting worse. I'd had another son and was living on the streets. I was lucky that my youngest child’s father was raising him, because my mother's hands were full. In 1998 , I was arrested for possession of a controlled substance, and because of my prior convictions, I was looking at a much longer sentence. It was an election year, and as the judicial system was looking to lock up as many people as possible, they offered me a sentence of 25 to life. I refused to lay down and accept that time; I fought my case for over 5 months. The District attorney finally accepted a plea bargain for me, and I accepted seven years at 85%.

Finally, after 6.3 years in prison I paroled on February 1, 2004. and I had big plans. I was going to change my life. I was going to start over again. Fours months after paroling, I was back up to my old tricks, smoking crack and committing crimes. I remember my parole officer, Mr. Riveras, telling me the day we met that he'd always had problems with female clients. My first response? “Not me”. Little did I know, he was telling the truth about me. Mr. Riveras gave me so many chances to get it together- sometimes he wouldn't even test me, because he knew I'd test dirty. In the beginning I'd give him another person's urine, so my test would come back clean. One day I guess I was tired of running, and I didn't care anymore, so I gave up my own dirty urine sample. Little did I know that Mr. Riveras already knew I'd been using because my mother had already alerted him. I couldn't be angry at my mother, she'd just gone through an extremely long prison term with me, and she was scared and tired. Finally Mr. Riveras asked me if I'd ever considered going into treatment. I never had, because in my warped mind, I didn't have a problem. The fact that I'd allowed crack cocaine to place me in continuously dangerous situations and abandon my children, not to mention that I'd been in every county jail facility between Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Arizona, missed holidays, birthdays, and even the funeral of my Grandfather. All theses things and more should have been the biggest “red flag” imaginable. I was at the point where I was willing to try anything, because either I stopped using crack cocaine, or I would die. Once I entered Walden House (F.O.T.E.P.- Felony Offender Training Educational Program) on November 23^rd, 2004, it was the beginning to an end. I'll admit the process was long, and most of the rules and regulations made absolutely no sense to me. Then a strange thing happened, I discharged off parole after only 13 months, this was unusual considering the length of my prison sentence. I immediately decided that I was leaving the program, I already been there four months and felt I was “healed”. There's this thing some people may call “Divine Invention”, and she showed herself in the form of an allergic reaction. That allergic reaction caused me to be hospitalized for six days, and during that stay, it was discovered that I was in need of a hysterectomy. Wow! God will certainly show up and rearrange some stuff for you, especially when you're confused. I ended up staying at Walden House for a total of 11months, and it was one of the best decisions I “never” made. I finally had an “ahh haa” moment, and thank God every day I didn't leave before the miracle happened. The miracle being a new outlook on life, my thinking changed, my expectations changed and my heart changed. I was seven years sober this past November. I can now say in the last seven years I haven't missed one celebration. Top that! I gave myself the best 50th Birthday party ever! I'm so happy to say there were people from ever chapter and phase of my life; my family, my sandbox bff from kindergarten, Jr High buddies, my bestie from High school, classmates, true friends that knew me in and out of addiction, and more than significantly share in my recovery. Today I live my life to the fullest, I enjoy myself with family and friends. I am the grandmother to the most beautiful little girl, my twin Mariah. I live, I laugh and I love, but most importantly I've learned to love myself. Don't get it confused life ain't no fairytale, and everything doesn't always come out smelling like roses. This bullshit can get real, but I pray and I trust God. My faith is strong! Yes, I can honestly said that I've lived two entirely different lifestyles in this wonderful gift called life. Don't you dare underestimate this Diva, the best is yet to come. See you at the top!!

The Chemistry of a Husband

2012-01-04T13:37:00.000-08:00

We Divas have often pondered what are the necessary qualities to make a good husband. I do however realize that what works for one woman may not work for the next one. I personally believe that as people we are constantly evolving, changing, and growing. Our needs and and wants change as women depending on either our age or maybe even our circumstances.
The woman I am today is certainly not the same woman I was, say 20 years ago, and my needs and wants are entirely different. I require more patience, demand security and need romance in my life, and these three things I'll be looking for in a mate. I truly believe that my God has a soul-mate for me it's just that he hasn't "found me yet". I am still growing and so is he, and when we're both ready our paths will cross. Then all the patience, security, and romance will be in full effect, and then, and only then will I have my husband.

The phrase "Patience is a Virtue” has proven to be a mantra throughout my adult life. I've learned to be patient through my many trials and tribulations, and I've tried to remain optimistic regardless of my circumstances. I feel that if I just hold on tight to my faith, everything will be alright. This has never failed me yet, and I require a husband with the same positive outlook. It's so true good things do come to those who wait. A husband that is patient with you will allow you time to explore all that is within you he will encourage and support your dreams and goals. I believe a patient man can be kind and understanding. When both partners in a relationship are patient, it keeps them from missing out on the important things in life and in each other.

A mature, seasoned Diva requires security! I'm not just talking financial security; although that's extremely important (let's be sensible). Another big part of security is trust, and someone that makes me feel safe. I'm a strong independent Diva and I'm used to doing things for myself, unfortunately I've experienced relationships were the man hasn't made me feel safe, and other relationships were there was absolutely no trust. I made up my mind a long time ago; that this was no longer acceptable. Because my personality can be assertive, some men have found this to be intimidating, and use it as an excuse for their own insecurities. I look forward to the day when I'm blessed with a husband that is capable of taking care of all my needs, emotional, sexual and financial. My husband shouldn't just take care of me because he's capable, but because he's willing to do so.

Romance is not just about sex, it's about intimacy (Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other). Romance is about communication too, now this doesn't always consist of spoken word either; a love note or a short text message saying “ I'm thinking of you” also speaks volumes. Trust me! a little romance goes a long way, it'll get those embers smoldering and the fires hot in a New York minute. Fast!

There is really no such thing as a perfect marriage, and of course no such thing as perfect people. However there are many different things a husband and wife can do to make their situation perfect for one another. They can learn to remain open to love and to change. Because life provides all types of twists and turns and each day can either be a struggle or an adventure. A husband and a wife should be willing to do whatever it takes to move forward in their relationship/marriage. As for myself I'm going to stay optimistic about the perfect husband for me. The Bible states in Proverbs 18:22. “He that finds a wife finds a good thing, and shall obtain favor with God”. This just confirms what I stated before, that patience, security, or romance isn't too tall an order for my God.

Out with the old................In with the New!

2011-12-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Divas! and Kings ....................

Wow! I woke up this morning super excited about the new year, at first I couldn't figure it out. Then, I thought about everything I'd experienced in 2011, and the emotions took over. It suddenly became crystal clear, OmGoodness! I am excited about all the blessings coming my way. God's promises are real.

Yes, this year-2011 has seen some serious "stretching", I've lived, loved and lost. There was plenty of laughter and plenty of tears, some much needed clarity, self enlightenment, goals accomplished, fears conquered, my heart was broken and mended all in the same breathe. Amen. I realized that God doesn't remove something if he doesn't have something better, especially when that "something" was placed in your life for a lesson, and a stepping stone to the next "better" thing.

When you evaluate your life, start with "I woke up this morning, and I'm reading this awesome blog" IJS.Then check your senses, eyes, ears, taste, touch, smell, and are your limbs working? Is your mind functioning? You got food? shelter? clothing?, I want you to break it all down. The pros certainly outweigh the cons, don't they? We've got to learn to appreciate what we have, and be thankful, grateful and acknowledge that with God nothing is impossible. Nothing! Every new day God allows us, an another opportunity to do something new, something different, something AWESOME!

I pray, not only for myself, but for all my friends and loved ones. I pray for good health, prosperity, goals reached, did I say prosperity?, peace of mind, love, light and laughter. If you encounter some bullshit, and you will, learn from it and move on. Give your loved ones their flowers while they can still smell them, spend more time with your kids, if your blessed to still have your parents living " be patient" lol. Please stand in faith, claim your blessings! and know that you're walking out of the old.............and into the new. See you at the top!

SOMERANDOMSHIT (Dating).................#4

2011-12-24T00:53:00.001-08:00

This Random Shit is all about the dating game................People It's about to get real up in this bitch! I'm going to talk about ninjas - black men vs black boys, and white boys! also know as the Caucasian persuasion.

1. Why do men assume YOU want THEM?

2. Why do men assume because your fluffy and fabulous (yours truly) that you're also desperate?

3. Who in the hell told these sorry ass ninjas that it's alright to not feed a Diva?

3a............ or at least offer a bitch a glass of WATER!!

4. Just because we grant you a kiss does not mean you're getting the drawers!

4a........and if you do get the drawers "I" decided that shit! not you!-you ain't got that much game.

5. It cost money to look this fabulous! nails, hair (braids, weaves or wigs- it wasn't FREE)

5a. .......look you're always telling me how good I look, and how good I smell - KICK IN!

6. OMG! Begging!- I've encountered too many begging, hint dropping, "I need $20" ass ninjas

7. Swag-licious not a brand label, but an attitude, a personality, so just like Divas aren't made? Duh!

8. Ditto! brothers..... a pedicure and a clean pair of drawers carries a lot of weight.

9. So What! I snore Ninja! get over it.......................

10. Watch out Brothas! Mr. Charlie has stepped up his game. I told you I'd date outside my race.

11. Last 4 dates = 2 brothas vs 2 white boys, both white men took me out to eat............hmmmmm

11a......what's wrong with this picture? Black Men!!

12. Please! Don't front like you've never tried on-line dating, or even considered it.

13. Let me clear this up people- Assholes come in ALL colors..

14. These and so much more keep bringing me back full circle to Proverbs 18-22. God I hear you!!

15. Any dating suggestions?

16. Hey! leave some of your own dating mishaps, I'd love to hear them. Share!!!

The Lotus Flower...........and Me

2011-12-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

The Lotus Flower it grows in the deep nasty slimy mud, at the bottom of the lake, far away from the sun. But, sooner or later, after the painful and difficult trials and tribulations of its existence, the Lotus Flower eventually reaches the wonderful light becoming the most beautiful flower ever.

An ancient symbol of enlightenment, self-regeneration and motivation the lotus flower will represent the many positive changes coming my way in 2012. I have claimed my resurrection! They thought I was down, they thought I was out, but not this Diva! My new life has just begun, there is love in my future, this is prosperity in my future, this is the one baby! This year-2011 has been..............Whew! a whole lotta things, eye opening, spiritual, painful, distracting, a waste of time, lackluster, sacrificial, petty, revealing, did I say painful and a waste of time? educational, cycles of bullshit, happy, sad. winning, losing, laughter, tears, joy, sunshine and rain, it's been all those things and so much more. Would I change anything? probably not. God does things in his own time, and in his own way. We may not always agree with his methods, or the process required, or which paths are presented before us, and I know my stubborn, running on self will behind doesn't always want to admit that he knows whats best for me. But! I'm here to tell you he ain't never left me or he's never forsaking me. I'm still here, and I'm still standing.

I look in the mirror and I see a woman who hasn't and still doesn't always do the right thing, I'm no saint, and anyone that professing to be............"Run! Forest! Run!. They're a liar and the truth ain't in em'. I am 50 years old, and I'm still learning about life, and about people. That never changes, people are in your life for one of two reasons 1) to teach you or 2) to learn from you. Period. Life is and can be that fucking simple. You give as good as you get, and most times you give more. Why? because it's just set up that way. It's give and take baby, either your the given or the taker, and it's not always fair, it fluctuates.

I'm a full time mommy now too! Damn! I tell you it's been a challenge, but so very worth it. I don't regret having my baby come live with me for one minute I love my son so much, and I just want to be a good parent. I didn't have the opportunity to raise my two oldest sons, and I'm just grateful for the chance to make a positive difference in his life.

I'm so excited about this coming year, and all the possibilities that God has placed in my life. Who knew that college could be so great! My earlier college days are a total blur, and shit so are my 20s, my 30s and fuck! the first few years of my 40s. I guess what I'm saying is God woke me up today, and for this I am grateful. I'm going into 2012 with happiness on my mind, love in my heart and small to major changes on the agenda.

And just like that Lotus Flower I'd allowed myself to be in that cold and slimy mud, hiding from the sunshine for way too long, afraid of change, afraid of life, hell! afraid of myself. But I want to see the light, and I feel the warmth of the rays shining down on me, and I want to feel rejuvenated, regenerated and enlightened, because just like that Lotus Flower I am beautiful......................

Whew!...............I swear I'm gonna kill this boy!

2011-12-21T09:46:00.001-08:00

S.O.S.

I'm reaching out to you! all parents, fathers and mothers who have a teenage son. I swear I'm ready to kill this boy! I've tried begging, threatening, removal, and reward, but he just ain't grasping the concept. The concept of "you will be 18 in 6 1/2 months" and LIFE is ready and waiting. Life! where things aren't constant, nor are they fair.

Let me give you a little history, maybe that will help you to help me. My son came to live with me almost two yrs ago, see there were some "issues" surrounding his bitch ass step mother "Lady Sha'ron. (She's an entire chapter all by her evil self.) Okay, let's get back to the boy child. They say it takes an entire village to raise a child, and I'm reaching out to you "village", cause I'm about to kill this ninja!!! His sorry ass daddy talking about " He needs to go to the military, so they can teach him how to be a man" WTF! have you been doing for the past 15 years?

I knew that he had issues, Hell! he was raised in a house full of fools, in-laws included!, but this crazy shit has continued too long. I'm just trying to get a brotha to walk across that stage, I need my life back! I'm 50 and I've got "Stella" plans, I want to get my GROOVE BACK!

I'm rambling and shit, I'm so pissed I lost sight of the subject. Late/Tardy, Absent/Ditching and Missing/Fuck it! I ain't doing it assignments. Then he has the "Awwww ba dassity" to want a girlfriend, play basketball, and hang out! Then I get the truancy letter from the school district! It's a friggin wrap people! I told his ass NO! basketball, No! Christmas, and no Mutha friggin Nothing!. I'm tried people! He can get his shit and get out!! OUT!! Whew!............I swear I'm gonna kill this boy!

Please pray for this Diva, because there are only two words saving his black ass................ "THREE STRIKES"

For the Love of...............Me.

2011-12-11T16:55:00.001-08:00

Dear Mr. "Not Right for Me".................

I really needed to express this to you, and this is one of the hardest things this Diva has shared in awhile; for all those years I allowed myself to be "lost" in you. I say "lost" because during the course of the relationship I'd actually stopped looking out for #1- Me. I'm not surprised, the relationship was doomed from the very beginning, mainly because it wasn't meant to be, both logically or morally. I believe I was very lonely, and looking for love in all the most fucked up places.

This is not some "tell it all"or even a confessional, it's me letting go. It's true people can give you advice, but only you know when it's time to truly let it go. I had a few sistahfriends who were aware of my situation, but I'd kept it a secret from most people. Why? let's face it, I knew it wasn't right.

Fast forward to present day........................

It's been close to 3 years , and something as insignificant as a birthday present ended our relationship. The truth is the relationship had been on a down hill slope for the last year or so anyway. The gifts, the dinner dates, and romantic get aways had come to a screeching halt. However I stayed, I'd gained 30lbs and felt unattractive, and complacency was my first, middle and last name. But! my inner Diva kept whispering in my ear, telling me that I am a franchise player, and allowing myself to come off the bench for someone elses team was no longer acceptable. God will and He shall do for you what you cannot do for yourself. He knows.

Life is such a fabulous journey, and everyday holds a new experience. We have choices, and we do make mistakes, this is how we grow. Will I miss you? Of course I will, I was in love with you, But I love me more. Do I regret the relationship? Of course I do, because right now I'm still hurting . Will I get over it? Most certainly I will because I am a survivor, a soldier, a Diva.

Sincerely your ex-mistress,

Me

Interview: Author Curtis "Swagnificent" Alcutt ~ Mr. Erotica

2011-12-11T12:10:00.001-08:00

I'm not exactly sure how I met Curtis Alcutt, I do believe it was some where in cyber-space. I just know that our relationship has grown into something special, and it's been my pleasure to watch this extraordinary man's career soar. So, I gave Mr.Swagnificent a call, and asked him if he'd grant this Diva a little one on one.................

Sistahfairy:"Curtis! Thank you so much for taking the time to grace us with your sexy presence. I'm just going to jump right into this thang. When did you realize that writing was your divine destiny?

Curtis Alcutt: I have always loved reading and writing. In the third grade, while I was supposed to be working on math, I got busted by my teacher working on a cartoon strip entitled “The Nose People.” I just knew my ass was grass, but instead she complimented me on my creativity and told my parents. They were as impressed as my teacher was. A short time after that, my school had a creative writing contest. My teacher insisted that I enter. I won! A whopping $1.50!

Sistahfairy: Erotica? Where did that come from?

Curtis Alcutt: Hmmmmm…I guess my inner freak saw that title and knew that’s where I belonged. I had no idea what erotica was until I read my first Zane novel back in around 2004. After reading that and a Eric Jerome Dickey novel, I said to myself, “I can do this!” after that, I had to put up or shut up. Ninety days and 80,000 words later, I finished my first erotic novel “Dyme Hit List” published by the now defunct Black Pearl Books in Atlanta. I am re-releasing “Dyme Hit List” under its original title, “Eyes of a Player.” The eBook is available now, the paperback will be officially released around valentine’s Day, 2012

Sistahfairy: I consider myself pretty damn grown and extremely sensual, and I want to know if you, Mr. Swagnificant are nasty by nature or nurture?

Curtis Alcutt: I think nature nurtured my nasty ass…fuckin’, suckin’, moanin’ and bonin’ are the SHIT! And I have no problem expressing my fondness for it. I personally think that everyone is nasty, but not everyone is willing to acknowledge it. As a kid I was very introverted, but once I hit puberty, it was on and crackin’. I’m not saying be irresponsible about your sexual encounters, but do enjoy them. After all, we only have so much time on this big, blue marble, so you best get all the enjoyment you safely and responsibly can.

Sistahfairy: I agree with that! it is the ish! Please play responsibly, and also do not text and drive. Curtis what are you currently working on?

Curtis Alcutt: Right now, I’m busy finishing up the sequel to my hot erotic thriller, “Sins of a Siren.” The follow up novel is called “Fatal Intentions: Sins of a Siren 2” Both are publish by erotica queen, Zane via Strebor Books, an imprint of mega-publisher, Simon & Schuster. I’m thrilled and blessed to be on this winning team. Also, I, along with my mentor and writing partner are working on book two in the “Black Widow and the Sandman” series. This is a suspense/thriller series sprinkled with romantic elements. This ongoing series features predominately African American characters. It’s best described as a Mission Impossible/James Bond hybrid. If you are a fan of high-tech, dangerous, globetrotting, action, then this is a must read for you! Visit www.llreaper.net for more info. You can even help us pick the cast for the movie!

But, at t this very moment, right now, this minute, I have “Fatal Intentions: Sins of a Siren 2” open on my desktop. I’m about 56,000 words in. My goal is to finish it up by Christmas Day, 2011. Only another 30,000 words to go…

Sistahfairy: I've heard some wonderful things about your literacy program, tell us about that.

Curtis Alcutt: Among other things, I’m president of the literary foundation, WriteWay2Freedom. Our goal is to reach out to kids—especially at-risk youth—and expose them to literacy. I get great enjoyment from helping them find freedom through writing’s therapeutic powers. If you have an organization or event that could benefit from our programs, contact Mati Hara Management - 916.237.7033

Sistahfairy: That's great! Our future is definitely in our children, and I know from my own childhood that books actually saved me, they helped me through some rough times while growing up. It allowed me to escape, if only temporarily, I felt free. Curtis, your talent is so amazing, where do you see this gift taking you?

Curtis Alcutt: My ultimate goal is to have one or more of my books to make it to the big screen or a cable TV series. I’m currently working hard on getting the screenplay for “Black Widow and the Sandman” written. I have it in the hands of a Hollywood insider right now, hoping he will make it happen. Or give me a damn good shot at it…

Sistahfairy: It's always a pleasure for me when we connect, and I'm still waiting on you to take me camping. Is there was one last thing you'd like us to know about Curtis "Swagnificent" Alcutt?

Curtis Alcutt: Hmmm… I want you to know that I appreciate all of you that have read or are reading my books. (Even those of you who borrowed a copy instead of BUYING one to support ya brother.) Other than that, I plan on keeping you wet, hard, horny and thrilled with my writing. Be on the lookout for a lot more in 2012. Stop by my website www.curtisalcutt.com and leave me a note. (nasty or otherwise) Hurry back my way!

Sistahfairy: Take it from me Ladies, Mr.Curtis Alcutt aka ".Swagnificent", is the new reigning King of Erotica, and a serious force to be reckoned with, so hold on to those panties, it's bout get hot and nasty up in here!

SOMERANDOMSHIT...............#3

2011-12-08T18:33:00.001-08:00

1. "Don't you think it's time for you to throw that raggedy ass wig away?"

2. ....................Calling all Cat Daddies!!!

3. I STILL haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up!

4. Hmmmmm............What are the true qualities of a Sistahfriend?

5. A pedicure, and a pair of clean panties carry a lot of weight.

6. Whatever happened to the art of dating?

7. To know me, is to know not to fuck up on my birthday!!

8. America! The only place in the world where a FAT ASS can turn you into a household name. IJS

9. Why did my son and his friends think last nights eclipse was either, 1) Aliens or 2) the rapture?

10. Why the hell does my Momma keep calling my name?

11. Acknowledge your POWER as a WOMEN, and allow your inner Diva to SHINE.

12. 10+ beers per day equals drunk! Dummy.

13. Do you think people are freaky by nature or nurture?

14. WTH! Keisha Cole's mama Frankie has a "Do the Frankie Leg" video?

15. I can give it to you, but what cha gwah do wit it?

16, If you're hair line is receding, then that ponytail is out of the question!

17. If you are a fluffy Diva, thicka than most, curvaceous. and hella cute! Stomp your mf feet!!

18. I keep this really pretty wall up, to protect my heart. I will occasionally change the wallpaper.

19. When is it gonna be my turn?

20. I'm going to make a dream board, I hear it's very therapeutic.

Big and Small..............Blessed!!!!

2011-11-27T01:44:00.001-08:00

Blessing~ A blessing, (also used to refer to bestowing of such) is the infusion of something with holiness, spiritual redemption, divine will, or one's hope or approval (Wikipedia)............

A blessing can be as small as you finding an extra $1 in your purse/wallet or as big as you waking up this morning. Amen. The secret to blessings is staying with an attitude of gratitude. You must realize that God in all his infinite wisdom has placed you exactly where you need to be. " Everything is as it should be". The last two years have been a testing, stretching, tribulations, trial, trail seeking experience! On November 24th, I celebrated 7 years of sobriety, in spite of my situation. My faith has NEVER wavered, and I trust and I believe that God has a blessing so "epic" for me, it will be worth a legacy. Lord, knows I've spent many sleepless nights worrying about one thing or another, mostly things I had little or no control over. I've been without a job since March 3rd, 2010, but I haven't missed a beat. God supplies all my needs, and most of my wants. lol. I shall not complain!

Then there are the people, God understands that no man or woman is an island, everyone needs somebody sometime. Right? I've been so super duper blessed to have certain folks in my life, some were just passing thru, they'd served their purpose. They were either in my life to learn from me or to teach my ignorant ass a lesson. I've been able to connect with friends from elementary to high school thanks to the Internet highway aka Facebook, and other social networks. I consider it all joy, To rekindle past relationships, and communicate with family too. In this day and time, family and friends are a serious support. I wake up each morning because of Grace and of course Mercy of a loving and forgiving God. He allows me another chance to "get it together". Amen.

I want you too, to take inventory of your blessings, big and small. I want you to look around at all you've been given, and know that what was taken shall either been changed for the good or replaced 10 fold. I admit that sometimes as humans do, I question my destiny. However I know that I, and you too! are blessed in ways we can't even see yet. So when you read this, do me a huge favor and call/text/email somebody you love and care about, and tell them how your life is blessed just because they are here. Amen...............................Smooches

#SOMERANDOMSHIT..................#2

2011-11-21T01:38:00.001-08:00

* The Townhouse (La Cienega) is Cat Daddy central, and Maverick's Flat is the Cougar den! lol

* I've realized that my destiny is internal.

* This may just be my opinion BUT! there is a cut off age (26-28) for men to wear braids.

*Yes! faux fur is in, and it's cute ,but Please! don't pretend that it's real.

* "Life can be only what you make it
When you're feelin down
You should never fake it
Say what's on your mind
And you'll find in time
That all the negative energy
It would all cease~ Mary J. Blige

* Why do people LIE??

* I'm debating on relocating to another state. hmmmmmmm?

* I need to lose friggin 50lbs!!!

* I've said this before" You know you're too damn old! to be wearing that outfit"

* You're right! they're contacts, and this isn't really my hair (wig/weave), Yes! these are acrylic nails , and I'm wearing Spanx. BUT! Dammit I look GOOD???

* I need some major CHANGE SOON!! (The Lord is streeeeetchhhhhhing me)

* I LOVE Hotel rooms....on & off air, black-out drapes, room service, major thread count, extra pillows.

* I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

* WTH!? Am I suppose to do with your_____________________ass?

* McDonalds has become my new social hangout. They have FREE WiFi, and $1 sweet tea.
* bucket list continued..............#4 Become a published writer,

#5 Have a weekly advise column in a major newspaper (Why not!?)

#6 Take ALL my Sistahdiva friends on the bomb.com vacation, all expenses (well almost all!) on me. "Getting our groove back"

* I'll build the house of my dreams, and make it into a HOME..

* I wanna take a "Thelma and Louise" road trip with my 2 besties...........Sandbox and Twin! (No cliff action involved)

When Is Enough Too Much?

2011-11-18T16:11:00.001-08:00

#1 Enough is too much when it has you turned around and upside down..............I'm in a situation where I've actually had enough of the bullshit! I'm a star forward on the starting team, and I've been (allowed myself) put on the bench as bench warmer, not even 2nd or 3rd string! Ladies! What the hell! I'm Kobe up in this bitch, and I'm accepting this? Now Sistah's I'm confessing this because I need a swift kick in the arse. I know I'm selling myself short, but I've become complacent, and comfortable in the position, and it ain't cool. I never said I was perfect, and I damn sure am no angel. I'm human, and fuck it! a bitch gets lonely. And! don't you dare judge me. I'm just doing my best to keep it as real as possible and reveal some truths about myself, in hopes that another sistah will hear this shit, and not make the same mistakes. I have to accept my predicament, and realize that only I can change it. What will I do when/if he calls me (Oh! he will). It's been close to three years, and I'm getting exactly what I signed up for, nothing more and nothing less. I don't need to state the obvious, Sistah's you can decipher this situation. Pray for this Diva, okay. Pray that I continue to realize my value, understand my worth, and follow my destiny.

#2 Enough is too much when "they" continue to use my past to hurt and to judge me. Why? because they haven't learned to get over what my past meant to them. I have been forgiven-1st by God, and 2nd I forgive myself. I am a good mother, and a great grandmother. I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. This Thanksgiving- 11/24th, I will be celebrating 7 years of sobriety. Trust, this was no small feat, it is ONLY by the grace and mercy of a loving and forgiving God that I am still here. I've experienced that some people will never see me as anything other than a crackhead, but that's their problem! After 7 yrs of continuous sobriety, they can kiss my ass! I have been delivered (to be set free) from crack cocaine, and life goes on. I disrespected myself during my addiction for almost 20 years, I can't allow anyone to have that power over me. I made myself a promise when I first became sober. "Anyone, Anyone, family included that threatens my sobriety or my insanity must be eliminated!" Poof asshole be gone.......................I will pray for them, and hope that one day they will receive some sort of clarity. I've had enough and it turned out to be way too much!

This blog is a safe place for me, a place of truth, a place for love, and a great format for expression. I'm happy I came, and I'm really happy that you're here to share this journey...................

Sportie LAb Interview by SAM- 11/09/2011- An Interview with a DIVA

2011-11-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

An Interview with a DIVA

by SAMon November 9th, 2011at 8:25 pm

Posted In: Chemistry of a Diva

Shaster is a DIVA. Yes that is meant to be in all caps because that’s how much of a diva she is, caps just do her more justice, a few exclamation points would do her even better. When our editor and chief Boo asked me to interview her on what it’s like to be a Diva, I was ecstatic. I need to learn a thing or two about how to up my game as a woman and Shaster is as inspirational as they come.
To understand a diva we may need a definition. According to Shaster a diva is an inner quality of strength, beauty, perseverance, life goals, a strong almost conceded independence and an acknowledgment of your power as a woman. “ A Diva is a lady, but we’re not ladies all the time. I can be a bitch, or dirty, we’re a multitude of ladies. It’s a grand thing!” In my mind I’m picturing a sexually active Elizabeth Benet from Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice.
“A DIVA is born!” explains Shaster when I ask her how she became this fabulousness that is diva. When I asked when she realized she had an inner diva existed, she talked about her dad. “Your environment molds your diva, my environment was real. My father was a neighborhood hustler, he instilled that I was special from infancy. Everything we had expressed individuality, from our white low rider bikes to matching helmets, we were special.” Because of him I don’t allow men I don’t know to call me names like honey, baby, princess…. That’s a term of endearment you use for a mate, not just any woman off the street.”
When I first thought of diva, I thought of a strong woman with too much attitude, Shaster explains that’s not what it’s about at all. “You do what you have to, not what you want to do. I always follow through on commitments and yes, I can be a bitch but never in a malicious way. If I do something that hurts someone I care about, I will apologize because I care more about you than the fact that I’m right.”
Still confused I ask again if bitch and diva go hand and hand. She explains that the love you receive on your birthday and your deathbed says who you are as a person. “I just had the best birthday a diva could ever have! It was my day and it was everything I’ve always wanted and more, you know if my future husband walked in that would make it better, but everything was perfect. I’m still thanking the over 100 people on Facebook that acknowledged me for being me! It’s important because of all the struggles I’ve gone through, everything is as it should be at 50.”
Being a strong independent woman can be lonely and hard. “I don’t have the privilege of being able to say, f*ck it I’m done. I’ve always been strong for everyone; I’m not going to fall apart because I’m having a bad day, or even a bad couple of years! I’m constantly recreating myself, but I’m always a diva.”
In my experience it seems like strength and loneliness go hand and hand. As I’ve grown older, I’ve also grown harsher; men don’t exactly hop on the emotionally inept train. Shaster seems to be in the same boat, “I used to be on the prowl and you have there holidays and lonely days, I’m deciding at 50 that I’m done looking for a man; I’m looking at the bible. Proverb 18.22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” It’s time for my husband to find me; I did meet someone on Saturday, he’s great but I’m taking it slow. I honestly don’t want anything material but I do need something that’s spiritual, emotional and physical. I believe that when you know you know, but it would be really nice if God just shined a big spotlight on his head with a giant arrow, it’s him!” Being a strong independent woman can be threatening to men, “ If you seem like I can run you over, I will, it’s the diva in me.” Shaster is looking for her equal, someone that is stronger than her inner diva, to be a man of the house who allows her to be who she is; I think we can all agree that it’s difficult for everyone to find that perfect balance in a partnership, but being an independent woman, it’s even more so.
Shaster just launched a new divalicious blog, http://sistahfairydiva.blogspot.com/. “I talk about funny shit, serious shit, my thoughts, memories and expressions. More will be reveled as time goes on; I just want people to hear my story.” Shaster is truly an inspirational figure, a former drug addict and single mother who took the bull by the horns and got help. “I should be dead! But I’m not and I’m doing well; people who have been like me need to see what I’ve accomplished. If I’ve touched one person by what I do, then I’m touched. ”
Being an outstanding mother, Shaster also wants to leave a legacy for her children, this blog will help them understand her completely at the end of the journey. “I want my kids to look back and say, “Damn, my mom did that or she is that” this blog is for them.”” I think we can all appreciate that, my mother is one of my best friends and I would never regret knower her better.
Please check out Shaster’s blog! Her undying strength is truly inspirational and we can all learn a thing or two about being an ultimate diva.