If you google “Why do Men Lie”, you will find countless articles, posts and web pages regarding the topic. I found its best to just ask a man- not your own and not one who’s trying to get with you either! But a man who’s a friend that you can trust like a brother, father or an uncle. Here it is ladies: We all have side-effects. I have an article floating around here on this blog about mine but a lot of men, in this generation, have a side-effect of lying. Why? Lying, cheating, abuse (verbal and physical), bad credit, won’t work and multiple kids. The list goes on. So should we just face that this is reality now and just choose which of the evils is lesser just to have someone in our life because no one is by far perfect. And as a woman, you really have 3 choices. #1. Become a lesbian #2 Depend on toys #3 or just become celibate if you feel that you cannot deal with this foolishness and f#ckery that goes on in relationships today. I personally choose #2..ijs.

I had the pleasure of talking to a few guys who really enlightened me on this topic “Do men mostly lie for the fear of having something to lose?” The responses were amazing and somehow silencing. They go as follows:

1. They lie because they can

2. They lie because they may have forgot what the truth actually was

3. They lie because we are dumb enough to fall for it, especially if he’s lied one time and that was the time he was ACTUALLY afraid of losing you but seeing how easy you let it roll off…he continued and did it again

4. They lie because of the lack of respect that women have for themselves-once again, we believe it and fall for it

5.  They lie because they are egotistical, callous and self-seeking

6. They lie because they are falling in love with you, don’t want to believe it and go out here and cheat-but get caught. And sometimes to prove to their “boyz” they’re not whipped

7. My favorite- This one said he lied because she payed most of the bills, his car was in her name (and insurance) and he didn’t want to go back to his parents’ house until he got on his feet. Wow. So with her, yes, he would lose his STABILITY! See where I am going with this ladies. He can’t take the other chic out on the bus!

Amazing. I only had one guy who told me he lied because yes he messed up and yes he was afraid of losing his woman because he loved her. One guy ladies. One guy out of about 20 that inboxed me and several I talked to outside.

Have we as women became that blinded by love or that naive? I know some that are that way and it’s saddening. Now don’t get me wrong, we all fall short and everyone deserves a second chance-sometimes. But are we paving this bumpy, treacherous round for them to drive down and run all over us? And often times I do give some guys the benefit of the doubt and I think if a situation arises where a man is caught lying, they do so because we tend to act irrational towards any response that is given. Thus forcing him to lie to you.

Guys, once again, not saying that you all are liars-you just don’t tell the truth at times! Hell, we lie too but were better at it. It’s not just in relationships! As a man, you may lie about who you’ve slept with to how much you’ve bench pressed at the gym. Women we may lie and say that Michael Kors bag is authentic to “Yes, this is my hair”. I think you get what I’m saying. But in relationships people, we must do better! Just be honest and sometimes that can be your most attractive trait. And, you may be surprised. Enuff said. I want to hear from you!

D@mn that….what is she wearing???? She looks like she just stepped off the plane from the U.K.

Do you think that she is really pregnant?

What is Retail Therapy? I will give you my definition of it. Retail Therapy to me is when your man has pissed you off or your just basically tired of giving all your money to the bill folks and you just say to hell with it and go shopping. The primary purpose of this is to improve your mood or disposition and it is often seen in people during periods of depression or transition. That’s me everyday.

For some, this is a “short-lived habit” but not easy to break. We indulge in what we call…”Comfort Buys”. So what if you didn’t need that outfit or that pair of shoes that was on sale that you have nothing in your closet to go with. So what! It made you feel better to just say to hell with it all and go shopping.

For myself, I can just go to the Dollar Tree and buy a bunch of junk that I don’t really need and I feel some type of sick relief that I have just bought something.

Do you indulge in retail therapy? If so, how often and what are some of the things that you buy?

We all have “side-effects” of flaws although we chose not to admit them but it will be interesting to fess up and admit what your side effects are. I will start it:

Mine are:
1. I am very stubborn, if you don’t see it my way…you just don’t see it
2. I have a very slick mouth
3. I don’t really trust people. I think everyone has a motive (and thats simply because i have just been around alot of people that did have one)
4. I don’t have much patience
5. I give up easy
6. I don’t try hard enough sometimes
7. I have a bad case of “Potty Mouth” at times…(but im still a lady!)
8. I like time to myself and I cannot STAND to be smothered. Im often withdrawn
9. I like neatness and order (except for closets! lol)
10. I am brutally honest
11. I have a low tolerance for ignorant men
12. I will snap at any given moment if provoked
13. The way i feel shows on my face
14. I am me!

So thats my side-effects. And I decided to take the honor of listing the side effects of my baby daddy #2. He should have came with a label on his head. But I shall take the liberty of putting this in here for him so all the women will know! And here it goes:

Often experience recurring thoughts of nothingness throughout the day. This causes long periods of carelessness, euphoria and an increased sex drive. These feelings could lead to infatuation, n which he will have you thinking its love. He appears harmless but with prolonged association, dating him could possibly lead to destruction!!!!!

Enuff Said!!
Holla Back!

I have read countless articles, received all kinds of advice, searched the net and I decided to compile it all into 3 steps for you:

1. Cry a River

2. Build a bridge

3. Get over it

And there you have it. Monica’s advice for getting over a break-up. It don’t get no easier than that! And keep the party going!

Later

Sorry Ladies (and the few fellas) but I have been busy. And February has rolled in and its about that time.

I want to know what is it that “you dont want” for Valentine’s Day this year. It seems every year, you get the same stuff. Flowers, candy and bears! What do you not want this year and you feel if you get it, you might scream?

Holla at me

eat me,beat me
bite me,blow me
suck me,f*ck me
very slowly
if you kiss me dont be hasty
use your tongue to make it nasty

roses are red
Lemons are sour
Open ur legs and give me an hour

Kissing Is A Habit
F*cking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Father Is A Bastard
The Mother Is A Whore
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn’t Tore!!

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And Pray to god
You dont multiply

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I’ll fill you with cream

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid

u opened it so u r cursed for 5 yrs. u need to read it ENTIRELY!!

roses are nice
violets are fine.
ill be the six
if you be the nine.

roses are red
violets are blue
condoms will rip
now watch you get screwed

Someone sent this to me today just to let me know that God is watching me and no matter what I am going through or what people put me through, It will make me a stronger, wiser,better person. Thanks girl….

MALACHI 3:3
Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of
silver.”
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered
what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining
silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment
to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason
for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining
silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over
the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one
needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were
hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot then
she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner
and purifier of silver.”

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there
in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding
the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time
it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it
would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy, when I see my image in it.”
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in
you.

Last night me and my friend was sitting here and decided to order in. I made the call and he wanted the pizza that had pineapples on it. (ewww) When I was speaking to the man, he started laughing so after I hung up, I asked what for. He said that my southern “drawl” was too cute. I asked what did he mean. Now backing it up a bit, he is originally from New Jersey, lived in the Boggie Down, Charleston and then here. So he has been exposed to a variety of dialects. But he spent most of his years growing up in New Jersey and New York….so you will see where im going with this.

We got into a discussion about dialects and how they differ. He said I pronounced “pineapple” as “pie-napples“. I didnt really realize that but after saying it to myself again..I did. So I walked over to the washing machine and picked up a bottle of liquid Tide and asked him what it was. I did this because I have family up north and they DO NOT refer to it is washing powders. He looked at it and immediately said it was “detergent“. I was waiting for “soap” because that it what my grandmother who lived in Detroit used to refer to it as. He asked what did i call it and I said washing powders. He mocked what i said and said, “washin-powderz”. I laughed so hard because when I thought about it, thats how I said it..country as hell!

I had him to repeat a few things that really stand out in the dialect department, you know..how you can tell if someone ain’t from here. Word like call, dog, talk, store, car, mall..the list went on. And we pronounced them different big time. This is how he said it sounded to him. Call and Mall sounded like cawl and mawl. Dog, it sounds like dawg and store, we say stowe. Basically, we add alot of aw’s to words that shouldnt have them.

And the title of this blog was something we were talking about. I knew this guy that was from somewhere up north and somehow we were talking about cars. I can’t remember exactly what the conversation was about but I said something about my car and it being a four door. He looked at me and he said, “Your car is a “photo”?????” and fell out laughing. I didn’t get it until he explained it to me. If you say photo kind of fast, it sounds like your actually saying four door.

Me and him both agreed that it is different and funny actually when you actually listen to it especially me..lol (im kuntree)!!! My friend also made another point. Have you known people that are from here and go to New York or somewhere for the summer or to visit and as he said..Comes back with a manufactured accent? I was rflmao. Not manufactured but anyway, that was interesting and funny.

Do you notice the big difference and what are some words that we as southerners say that actually sound like another word like photo and four door? And have you known someone who has returned to the dirty after visiting up north and is now back home and has a Manufactured accent?

Holla Back and until next time

What if we had a store called Build a Man?!! Wouldn’t that be lovely? How would you build your man? What things would you incorporate into this man to make him your perfect man?