The Six Degrees of DVD Project

Austin Powers :: Mike Myers :: Austin Powers in The Spy Who Shagged Me

2011-02-21T12:00:00.000-06:00

It's rare that a sequel is better than the original. And usually there's some debate over whether that's true. See: The Godfather 1 & 2, Alien & Aliens, Terminator & T2.

I will here make the case that Austin Powers 2 is better than the original.

Positives:
- More Dr. Evil.
- Mini-Me.
- Fat Bastard.
- Time travel (I'm a sucker for time travel movies).

Negatives:
- Heather Graham. Hotter than Elizabeth Hurley. Not interesting in this movie.

That should be enough. If not, at least we can probably agree that both AP1 and AP2 are better than Goldmember.

Shrek :: Mike Myers :: Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery

2011-02-18T12:00:00.000-06:00

Seems like recently on this blog I'm spending a lot of time realizing that a lot of the stars in these movies have really fallen off in quality. Enter: Mike Myers.

But I'm going to try something different on this entry. I won't be bagging on Mike for making crap like The Love Guru. There are lots of other places on the web where you can find that. Instead I'll keep it positive for as long as I can.

I was in college when Austin Powers came out. I always remember when a bunch of guys from my floor in the dorms went to see it. Jorge from across the hall came in afterward and said that the bald guy was really funny... you know... Telly Savalas. Unfortunately for Jorge, he was referring to Mike Myers' second role as Dr. Evil. We gave him shit for that for a long time.

But he was right. In the case of this film, Austin Powers is funniest because of Dr. Evil. As with most great franchises, the hero can only be as cool as the villains he's fighting. James Bond was at his best against over-the-top villains like Goldfinger and Jaws. The action figures on G.I. Joe's team were boring. Give me Destro's silver head over Leatherneck any day of the week. He-Man's allies sucked (I'm looking at you, Man-At-Arms). Give me Trap-Jaw with moving jaw piece and interchangeable arm-weapons, Tri-Klops with the spinning eye piece, Kobra Khan who squirted water when you pressed his head down, or even Stinkor, the figure that smelled like a skunk (I think my parents threw that one away because of the smell... though I'll never be sure).

But I digress. Austin Powers' best scene: Dr. Evil and his son, Scott Evil, in group therapy.

Coming To America :: Eddie Murphy :: Shrek

2011-02-16T12:00:00.000-06:00

Moving on through my DVDs, I get more Eddie Murphy. This time in voiceover form as Donkey, the talking donkey, from Shrek.

There are some movies I own because they are incredible films that I can watch over and over and over again. There are other movies I own because I liked the movie one time I saw it, and the DVD was on sale for less than five bucks. Shrek definitely belongs in the second category.

I originally saw Shrek in the theater and was thoroughly entertained. It just doesn't hold up for me on multiple viewings. I'm not sure if the jokes just weren't that funny to begin with and I was brainwashed by viewing with an audience, or if they're the kind of jokes that are really funny the first time you hear them and then get annoying upon repetition. I'm sure, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side," was really funny at first. Just like "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" and people who, when asked if they got a haircut, say, "No, I got them all cut."

I loathe those people.

But then again, I annoy the hell out of people with my dumb jokes from the Naked Gun (You: "Gum?" Me: "Yes, it is."), candy bar commercials (You: "Hungry?" Me: "Grab a Snickers."), and Simpsons quotes ("Where's my burrito! Where's my burrito!"). So maybe I should just give Shrek a break.

Trading Places :: Eddie Murphy :: Coming To America

2011-02-14T12:00:00.000-06:00

Another blog entry, another star who used to be awesome but really, really sucks now. Hi Eddie Murphy! Or, since it's Coming to America, I should say, "Hello Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Arsenio Hall, and Eddie Murphy."

Despite Murphy's recent slate of films (Norbit?), I still love going back to his 80's stuff. Coming to America is a classic. An African prince wants to fall in love, rather than having an arranged marriage, so he and his friend go to find a queen in Queens, NY. Hilarity ensues.

Despite the great lead performances from Hall and Murphy, the real pleasure in this movie comes from all the side characters (including several played by Hall and Murphy as well). Future "ER" star Eriq La Salle with his greasy Jheri curl hocking "Soul Glo" (complete with catchy jingle). Frankie Faison as the greedy landlord. The barber shop guys discussing their favorite boxers. John Amos's "McDowell's" restaurant trying to avoid McDonald's lawsuits. Samuel L. Jackson's foiled armed robbery. And who can forget the musical stylings of Randy Watson and his band Sexual Chocolate, crooning "The Greatest Love of All."

Sexual Chocolate! SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!!

Sneakers :: Dan Aykroyd :: Trading Places

2011-02-11T12:00:00.000-06:00

Dan Aykroyd connects from Sneakers to one of the best comedies of the 80's, Trading Places.

Aykroyd is in great form, Eddie Murphy is at the top of his game, plus after years as the "Scream Queen," we actually get to see a topless Jamie Lee Curtis.

I love the "nature vs. nurture" wager and the twist on the "Prince and the Pauper" storyline. Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche are perfect as the Duke Brothers. Denholm Elliott is hilarious as Coleman, the butler. We get pimps and parties, a hooker with a heart of gold, ahomicidal Santa, drunk baggage handlers, and Paul Gleason (the principal from Breakfast Club) getting raped by a gorilla.

Even after watching this movie as many times as I have, I still don't exactly understand the whole stock market sequence at the end. All I know is that Murphy and Aykroyd get rich and the Dukes get poor. That's really all you need to know to enjoy it, I suppose.

The Last Crusade :: River Phoenix :: Sneakers

2011-02-09T12:00:00.000-06:00

He played the young Indiana Jones in Last Crusade and a young spy in Sneakers. River Phoenix looked to have great potential, but of course died young of a drug overdose.

It's always tragic when young talent dies. We can look at that spark of talent and imagine how much more amazing work they would have done if they had been given the chance to live a full life and career. Imagine River Phoenix competing for roles with Leonardo DiCaprio. Imagine more of Heath Ledger's Joker in the next Batman sequel. Imagine the laughs we could have gotten from more comedies from John Belushi, John Candy, or Chris Farley. Imagine the directions music would have taken with more albums from Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin, Keith Moon of The Who, or Kurt Cobain.

You're imagining some pretty amazing stuff, right?

Well, I'm probably going to piss some people off for saying this, but you're probably wrong. I'm not saying that those artists wouldn't have made more good or even great art. But thinking that a handful of talented performances or great albums means that they could continue to make great art forever is fallacy. Two words: Chevy Chase. If Chase had died in 1985 after SNL, Caddyshack, Vacation, and Fletch, he would be considered one of the greatest comedians of all time. Instead, we got Chevy in the 90's with a failed TV talk show and awful films like "Cops and Robbersons." Chevy Chase was a Hollywood punch line for nearly two decades. John Belushi is still a genius because he didn't live long enough to be offered scripts like "Funny Farm."

That doesn't diminish any of these artists' youthful accomplishments. It just brings the godlike status of these deceased celebrities back down to earth a bit.

By the way, Sneakers is an awesome spy thriller with a great cast: Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Dan Aykroyd, Ben Kingsley, David Straithairn, and even James Earl Jones. Check it out if you've never seen it.

Temple of Doom :: Harrison Ford :: The Last Crusade

2011-02-07T12:00:00.000-06:00

Harrison Ford from Temple of Doom to Last Crusade gives me one last visit with Indiana Jones, because, no, I will never own "Crystal Skull."

Ahh, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I love this one. I might even love it more than Raiders of the Lost Ark, although that's a really tough debate that I keep going back and forth on.

This one's got everything. Horses, tanks, daddy issues (James Bond as Indy's Dad? I love Sean Connery), origin story, knights, museums, a hot blonde, blimps, boats, motorcycles, evil Nazis (as if there's any other kind), plus the hilariously inept Marcus Brody.

One of the things I love about Indiana Jones is that he has to rely as much upon his brain as he does on his fists, gun, or whip. The entire climactic scenes in the cave when Indy must pass the trials and choose the correct Grail rely on his knowledge and reasoning skills. And it's still riveting to watch, despite the complete lack of explosions and fighting. Take a lesson Michael Bay.

It is interesting watching this film in the post-Dan Brown / Da Vinci Code era. That book and a ton of A&E / TLC / History Channel shows have been pushing the idea of the "Holy Grail" as actually being a continuation of Jesus' bloodline. So it kinda feels refreshing to go back to when the Grail was just a cup. A magic cup, but still a cup.

Jaws :: Dir. Steven Spielberg :: Temple of Doom

2011-02-04T12:00:00.000-06:00

More Spielberg. More Indy. Some people love Temple of Doom. It's their favorite of the Indiana Jones movies.

I am not one of those people.

Don't get me wrong, I like Temple of Doom. I just don't like it nearly as much as Raiders or Last Crusade.

Re-watching Temple of Doom reminded me of many of the things that are wrong with "Crystal Skull," which I won't get into again here. Instead, a bunch of other reasons Temple of Doom annoys me:

Short Round. I know, I know. Lots of people love the little Asian kid who helps out Indy at every turn and says stuff like, "No time for love, Dr. Jones!" I kind of like that stuff too, but also find it to be gimmicky comic relief. I'm torn between enjoying the character and hating the whole, "let's add a kid in this one to appeal to families" thing.
"Fortune and Glory." Really? Indy is pilfering huge diamonds and archeological artifacts for "fortune and glory?" How selfish! I much prefer the "This belongs in a museum!" Indiana Jones that we see in Raiders and Last Crusade. Now, Temple of Doom is a prequel to the other Indiana Jones movies, so it's possible that sometime between when this movie takes place and when Indy is fighting Nazis for the Ark of the Covenant he completely changes his attitude about archaeology, but I still don't like the greedy Jones here.
The mythology. I just don't get it all. Sure, there are magic stones and a creepy evil cult. But why are the stones so important, what's the cult trying to do, and what does it have to do with being able to pull the still-beating heart out of someone's chest... and they're still conscious... and the heart bursts into flames when the person is dropped into a lava pit? Huh?
Kate Capshaw. I hate her. Just hate her. Is this really how women should be portrayed? Whining, bitchy, spoiled, fickle, weak, greedy, ignorant, and so wrapped up in herself that she's oblivious to most of what's going on in the movie. This is like plucking a character from Sex and the City and dropping her into Predator. Except she doesn't die. And the screaming. The constant shrill screaming. I beg every time I re-watch this movie that somehow Indy will actually let the evil guy pull the still-beating heart from her chest if only to stop the screaming and whining. I know that Spielberg married Capshaw, but based on this performance I can't for the life of me figure out why.

But somehow despite all these things I still find the movie entertaining. And it always makes me hungry for chilled monkey brains.. Mmmmm... chilled monkey brains.

Raiders of the Lost Ark :: Dir. Steven Spielberg :: Jaws

2011-02-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

Ahh, Spielberg. Remember when Steven Spielberg was the greatest director on the planet? I sometimes forget that fact, since he hasn't directed a great movie since Saving Private Ryan 12 years ago. But he did rule the box office for over two decades with good reason, and that all started with Jaws.

I never saw Jaws when I was a kid. Perhaps it's because I wasn't born when it was in theaters. And once it came out on video, maybe my parents thought it would be too scary. Regardless of the fact that I didn't see Jaws until after college, I was still fully aware of the cultural impact of Jaws. It created the "summer blockbuster" movie. It gave us great quotes like "We're gonna need a bigger boat." Its sequels gave us the tagline, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..." It was the main character's obsession on "Dawson's Creek." It's probably the reason we have Shark Week on Discovery Channel. And the John Williams score is one of the most recognizable pieces of movie music ever. Just two notes (duuuh duh) and you're immediately on edge, awaiting the danger lurking somewhere nearby, just out of view, ready to strike with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

On my most recent viewing of Jaws, though, I picked up on another pop culture reference that I had never associated with Jaws: Bad Hat Harry Productions.

Every week at the end of an episode of House, the medical mystery Fox series starring Hugh Laurie, there's a little cartoon for one of the production companies (Bad Hat Harry Productions) where one little cartoon guy says to another, "That's some bad hat, Harry." It's one of the tiny things that I'd always wait around for after the episode was over. It was just odd and out of place and amusing. Hopefully I'm not the only one who didn't realize that's a quote and scene from Jaws.

Return of the Jedi :: Harrison Ford :: Raiders of the Lost Ark

2011-01-31T12:00:00.000-06:00

Remember when Harrison Ford was the coolest guy in the world? American Graffiti, Star Wars, Apocalypse Now, The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, Temple of Doom, Witness, Frantic, Last Crusade, Presumed Innocent, Regarding Henry, Patriot Games, The Fugitive, and Clear and Present Danger. That's a hell of a resume from 1973-1994.

Harrison also gets me connected from Return of the Jedi to Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Damn, this is a great movie. Action, humor, romance, melting Nazis... what more could you want? Plus, it's at the height of careers for Ford, producer George Lucas, and director Steven Spielberg.

Re-watching this film is like going back to an old friend and a lesson in great movie making. A lesson that Ford, Lucas, and Spielberg should have gone back to learn before making their recent 4th entry in the Indiana Jones catalog, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

First: the title. It's just "Raiders of the Lost Ark." No "Indiana Jones" in the title at all. Admittedly, Raiders wasn't planned to be a franchise, so there was no need for some name that would grant continuity through the series. But at the time, Lucas was also working through the Star Wars franchise - which, at least at the time, also didn't have "STAR WARS" and silly episode numbers in front if each title. All that came later, along with the ridiculously long Indy 4 title.

Second: the action. Raiders works so well because it's ultimately so believable. When Indy leaps over a pit using his whip, you feel the tension because it's reasonable to see that he would actually be in danger of falling... and also that he could actually make it across the pit with a little skill and luck. Indy can actually outrun the giant boulder. Indy can actually fight the giant bald Nazi guy. Indy is in danger from the actual snakes that surround him and act the way that snakes really act. Sure, we're suspending disbelief that Indy could really be that tough and survive that many incidents. But that's a fairly easy leap of faith to make when watching a movie.

In the Crystal Skull debacle the action just becomes ridiculous. Indy would not survive a nuclear blast - even inside a lead-lined refrigerator. Especially if that refrigerator got blasted across the desert with him in it (can you say Broken Spine?. The leaps and falls in the big warehouse chase scene are too big, too violent to walk away from (and look too computer-generated). And speaking of computer-generated, what the hell were those bugs? Giant fire ants? Do those even exist in real life? Even if they do exist, there's no way they would behave like that - devouring entire human beings in seconds. I definitely would have seen that shit on Discovery Channel by now if it could be true. And don't even get me started on the aliens.

Third: the mythology. Raiders (plus, Temple of Doom and Last Crusade) all rely on accepted mythology based on archaeological fact. The Ark of the Covenant actually existed and was the box that the ancient Jews used to carry around the broken pieces of the original Ten Commandments. Beyond that, the film uses the other myths that surround the Ark about its supernatural powers and use to make any army that carries it unstoppable. These are actual myths taken from real ancient texts.

The "real" Crystal Skulls? A hoax. Proven to be a hoax. Just some crap that guys claimed to have found in South America in the mid 1800s. They've been scientifically tested and proven to have been manufactured around the time they were "discovered." There is no record of ANY legend or mythology about Crystal Skulls in ANY Mesoamerican or other Native American culture. Period. So the movie is all based on hoaxes and sci-fi fanboy crap.

And Indy doesn't even try to quote ancient myths when he's getting the crew from place to place. At least in the original three movies, the screenplay gets through different tasks, challenges, and discoveries by being able to quote some (usually fictional) piece of folklore or highly researched legend. In Crystal Skull, he just makes shit up and it ends up being right. No legends. No myths. No research. Just crap.

OK, I'm spending too much time bitching about Crystal Skull. Just go watch Raiders. It's still awesome.

Field of Dreams :: James Earl Jones :: Return of the Jedi

2011-01-28T12:00:00.000-06:00

Using James Earl Jones again to go from Terrence Mann in Field of Dreams, back into the Star Wars trilogy as the voice of Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi.

Jedi gets a bad rap sometimes and I can understand why: the Ewoks. Sure, they're too cutesy sometimes. Yes, George Lucas had originally intended to have them be Wookies, but scrapped that when he put Chewbacca into the first movie (when he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do all three). Of course their little song at the end of the movie is annoying.

But seriously... you loved Ewoks as a kid. Don't even fucking lie about it.

But don't let your nit picking about Ewoks undermine what might otherwise be the best movie of the trilogy. Here are some reasons why:

We meet Jabba the Hut, and he's awesomely evil. His entire setup made for one of the best sequences of the films - and a kick ass Kenner playset.
The whole crew shows up to help rescue Han, and we get to see Boba Fett bite it.
Luke is now a badass Jedi, dressed all in black.
Yoda dies. Sad, but that's what makes it great.
Admiral Ackbar, the talking squid.
We find out that Leia is Luke's sister.
Death Star, part deux. "Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!"
Meeting Emperor Palpatine. Evil, decrepit, and he can shoot lightning beams from his fingertips.
Best light saber battle of the trilogy between Luke and Vader.
Luke saves Vader from the Dark Side.
And the #1 best reason to love Return of the Jedi: PRINCESS LEIA IN HER GOLD BIKINI.

C'mon, if that's not a reason to stop your whining about the Ewoks, I don't know what is.

The Empire Strikes Back :: James Earl Jones :: Field of Dreams

2011-01-26T12:00:00.000-06:00

OK, so James Earl Jones doesn't actually appear in The Empire Strikes Back, but there's no mistaking him as the voice of Darth Vader. Or of course as Terrence Mann in Field of Dreams.

Field of Dreams is one of the best baseball movies ever (download episode #11 of the At Home Film Festival Podcast to hear my discussion with John Jordan about our favorite baseball movies). It's a great, nostalgic look at what baseball has meant to generations of fans through the past century in America. As we go further down the road of overpaid players, corporate greed, advertising plastered across every surface of every stadium, and more news about steroid use coming out every couple weeks, it's nice to have a reminder of what the game of baseball should really be about.

Plus, as a guy, this is one of the few movies where it's acceptable to shed a tear or two. The film culminates with a simple line when Kevin Costner says, "Hey Dad? Wanna have a catch?" That moment somehow encapsulates the entire father-son dynamic. The things left unsaid between father and child can lead to resentment later in life... but those innocent moments of our childhood - sharing time at a baseball game, or simply playing catch - somehow encapsulate all the love and caring and mutual respect that we forgot was always there.

See, I'm getting choked up just thinking of the scene. Time to move on to the next DVD.

Bridge on the River Kwai :: Alec Guinness :: The Empire Strikes Back

2011-01-24T12:00:00.000-06:00

For the first time (but definitely not the last), using a repeat connector... Sir Alec Guinness connects us from The Bridge on the River Kwai back into the Star Wars Trilogy with The Empire Strikes Back.

This is definitely the best of the Star Wars series. The opening battle on Hoth is great. We meet Yoda. We meet Lando Calrissian. We find out that Darth Vader is Luke's father. Han & Leia fall in love ("I love you." "I know." One of the best movie exchanges.) Luke's hand gets cut off. Han gets frozen in carbonite. Boba Fett gets introduced. C3PO gets dismantled (which led to the cool toy where you could take him apart) . And it ends with a cliffhanger... you're completely satisfied, but dying for more.

I already ranted about George Lucas's special editions of the original Star Wars trilogy in my previous entry for Star Wars. And I'll rant some more when I get to Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace in my collection. But for now, I'm just going to bask in the enjoyment of a really great movie: The Empire Strikes Back.

Star Wars :: Alec Guinness :: Bridge on the River Kwai

2011-01-21T12:00:00.000-06:00

Sir Alec Guinness gets to be the connection here from Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi in Star Wars to Colonel Nicholson in The Bridge on the River Kwai. This might have creeped into my top ten all-time movies... keeps getting better every time I see it. Here are three reasons it's so damn good...
It's an epic that doesn't feel long.
Clocking in at 161 minutes, this isn't a short film by any means. But the film is really structured into three characters' stories, each compelling, that intertwine and come together explosively at the end of the film. The first is that of Alec Guinness as Colonel Nicholson and his refusal to break and allow Japanese Colonel Saito (Sessue Hayakawa) to force the captured British officers and sick or wounded soldiers to work on the Kwai Bridge in violation of the Geneva Convention.
The second story is the breaking of Colonel Saito. He is forced to acquiesce to Nicholson's stubbornness in order to complete construction on his bridge project and avoid his own disgrace and forced suicide. Of course this leads to a shift of power from Saito to Nicholson. Eventually Nicholson has his own officers and sick soldiers working on the bridge by his own orders. It is a victory of sorts for Saito, but an empty one in that he needed to rely on the British officer in order to succeed.
The third story is of US Navy Commander Shears (William Holden). His escape and rescue from the labor camp play out in the background of the first half of the film, but then his new mission to return to the jungle and destroy the bridge comes into play. We see in his story not only the opposing force of the construction vs. the destruction of the bridge, but also the opposing ideals of Shears (searching for pleasure and freedom in society) vs. Nicholson (adhering strictly to the rules of a civilized world).
It uses moral ambiguity and the shift of audience loyalty.
I love the moral questions in Kwai. Should Nicholson give in to Saito's demands if it means saving the lives of his soldiers? Is it nobler to attempt escape or follow the rules as prisoners? At what point does benefiting yourself cross the line into benefiting your enemies?
The film also shifts your loyalties throughout. Initially you despise Saito and want Nicholson to win their battle of wills. Later you fear how far over the line Nicholson will go for his ideals, and pity Saito in his shame. You want to see Nicholson complete the bridge. Then you desperately want Shears to destroy it. It's brilliant in getting the audience to root for both teams at various points throughout the game.
They actually built the bridge, and they actually blew it up.
No miniatures. No CGI. It's an actual bridge over an actual river with an actual train going across it as they actually blow the whole thing up and the bridge and train actually crash together into the actual river. It's not only an amazing feat that they pulled it off, but it's amazing because movie studios will never do that stuff anymore. Instead they build a couple of sets and use some green screens and fancy camera work to make it look "real." Instead it looks like CGI effects with no real tension or real danger involved. And unfortunately as a result, too many of today's film goers would watch an amazing sequence like the detonation of the Bridge on the River Kwai and simply assume that it was only a model.

That's it for now. Great movie - and if you can get the 2-DVD set, definitely check out the extra features and documentary on disc 2!

Blade Runner :: Harrison Ford :: Star Wars

2011-01-19T12:00:00.000-06:00

From one sci-fi classic to another, by way of Harrison Ford. I go from watching Blade Runner to watching Star Wars.

That's STAR WARS. Not "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope". Not the re-issue with Jabba the Hutt walking around and Greedo shooting first. It's Star Wars. Period. Fuck George Lucas, his crappy prequels, and his incessant need to "fix" things he did before.

Lucas created an amazing vision with Star Wars. People loved it. I loved it. I understand the desire to make the prequels. They weren't very good. I've mostly gotten over that.

But it's the re-issues I have the most problems with when it comes to the Star Wars franchise. It was (and still is) a beloved product. I never once heard a fan complain about the number of people, buildings, and creatures roaming around the Mos Eisley space port. But Lucas had always felt it should be busier, so he added more computer generated crap 20 years later.

I never heard anyone complain about the fact that Han Solo shot Greedo. Han was a scoundrel, a space pirate. The notion that he was a bad mofo, willing to shoot and even kill to get out of a tight situation is fine. In fact, it makes his eventual decision to join the Rebel Alliance and become a decent human being that much more significant. But no, Lucas felt that a "good guy" shouldn't fire without being fired upon, so he CGI'ed an extra laser blast.

I never heard anyone complain about Jabba the Hutt not being in the first movie. But of course Lucas had some cutting-room footage of a scene between Han Solo and a Jabba that he just had to use. So we suddenly get a Jabba that's too small, too agile, too computer-generated, and too pointless.

With the original releases, we didn't see Jabba until the third movie, by which point he's become this mythic, shadowy, gangster that we can only imagine... and when we finally do meet him, he's the complete embodiment of greed, sloth, lust, and gluttony. He doesn't move. He doesn't need to. He's like Paulie in Goodfellas: "Paulie may have moved slow, but it was only because Paulie didn't have to move for anybody."

But if you watch the re-issues, now you've already seen Jabba, and he suddenly looks, acts, and moves differently - because now he's a huge puppet instead of a bunch of pixels. And now I'm disappointed.

I'm wandering way too far into the Dork Forest. So I'll just leave with this... Watch the original 1977 version of Star Wars. It was the Citizen Kane of sci-fi for 20 years, and that's good enough for me.

Unless you want to add some CGI sleds to Orson Welles' classic.

Airplane! :: James Hong :: Blade Runner

2011-01-17T12:00:00.000-06:00

James Hong also gets me from Airplane! to my next movie, Blade Runner.

Blade Runner is great science fiction. Dystopian future. Androids. Action. Philosophical introspection on what truly makes us human. What was really interesting for me is that I literally watched Blade Runner and the series finale of Battlestar Galactica in the same weekend - both shows dealing with many of the same issues... and both starring Edward J. Olmos.

I'm not going to get into the debate over whether Harrison Ford's character Deckard is a replicant or not. I personally think he's human. But I can see both sides, especially depending on which version of the film you watch. The original U.S. theatrical release makes it fairly clear that he's human. The 1990's "Director's Cut" and the more recent "Final Cut" make it more ambiguous. Buy the 4-disc Collector's Edition and you can watch four different versions of the film and decide for yourself.

The other thing to really pay attention to with Blade Runner is the effects. Today, we see massive futuristic cities on the screen, and it's all done with computers (see the Star Wars prequels). But Blade Runner was made in 1982 with real models, sets, matte paintings, and all the other conventional tricks... and it still stands up really well against modern CGI effects. Ridley Scott really knew his shit back in the day (couple Blade Runner with the film he released three years earlier, Alien, and you've got a sci-fi one-two punch that may be unrivaled). But I still can't forgive him for crap like Gladiator and Hannibal.

Chinatown :: James Hong :: Airplane!

2011-01-14T12:00:00.000-06:00

Another great character actor, James Hong, gets me from Chinatown (Evelyn's butler) to Airplane! (suicidal Japanese general). Looking at his resume, Hong seems to have been the go-to actor for the token Asian role in every film or TV show of the past four decades. All in the Family, The Rockford Files, Starsky and Hutch, Charlie's Angels, Taxi, St. Elsewhere, The A-Team, Big Trouble in Little China, The Golden Child, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, Miami Vice, Tango & Cash, MacGyver, Wayne's World 2... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Where do you start with a movie like Airplane!? (And yes, I'll be including the exclamation mark every time). It stands alongside Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and Shaun of the Dead (all films I own and will be discussing later on this blog) as one of the greatest parody films of all time. Airplane! re-launched the career of Leslie Nielsen as comedic actor, giving us the Naked Gun series of films. Airplane! showed us Mrs. Cleaver speaking jive, Lloyd Bridges sniffing glue, Kareem Abdul-Jabar threatening a small child, an inflatable co-pilot receiving oral service from Julie Hagerty, and two Girl Scouts beating the holy hell out of each other in a bar fight.

And it has some of the most quotable lines of any film, ever:

We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
"The fog's getting thicker." "And Leon's getting laaaaarrrrger!"
"A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.
"Johnny, what can you make out of this?" "This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl..."
Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.
Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

I can't think of much more to add right now. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Cuckoo's Nest :: Jack Nicholson :: Chinatown

2011-01-12T12:00:00.000-06:00

From one great Nicholson role to another - connecting One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest to Chinatown through Jack Nicholson.

OK - first things first. Let me get the whole Roman Polanski controversy out of the way. Yes, he directed some amazing movies. Yes, he won an Oscar. And yes, he drugged, raped, and sodomized a 13-year-old girl. As far as whether he should go to jail or not, I think the third one kinda trumps the first two by a landslide. Check out this article at Salon.com for a pretty clear-cut look at the situation.

That aside, Chinatown is still a brilliant movie. It starts like your typical film noir from the 1930's with private detective J.J. "Jake" Gittes (Nicholson) being hired to follow a suspected adulterous husband. Things of course get very twisted from there. Mistaken identity, a mysterious girl, land, water, murder, corruption, and a VERY screwed up family all come into play. By the end, there are so many layers to the mystery that it's tough to wrap your head around... but you'll really want to.

Forget it Jake. It's Chinatown.

Fast Times :: Vincent Schiavelli :: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

2011-01-10T12:00:00.000-06:00

From his role as Mr. Vargas (who just switched to Sanka), I'm connecting Vincent Schiavelli - one of the best character actors ever - to his role as Fredrickson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

I love Cuckoo's Nest. Apart from Jack Nicholson's fantastic R.P. McMurphy, this film is stacked with some of the best character actors of the past 30 years.

You've got Schiavelli of course, who was not only in Fast Times, but also in Amadeus, Batman Returns, and hundreds of other roles on TV and film.

Plus of course Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd, Scatman Crothers (notable for another film with Nicholson - The Shining), Brad Dourif (Grima Wormtongue from the Lord of the Rings movies - and also the voice of Chucky from the Child's Play series), and one of my favorite performances in the film from Sydney Lassick as Charley Cheswick.

But I can't discuss Cuckoo's Nest without discussing one of the greatest villains on film: Nurse Ratched. Louise Fletcher plays the role with perfect icy malevolence thinly veiled behind a mask of compassion. What's so chilling about her character is the subtle way in which she shames her patients or manipulates the group into shaming each other. She is more concerned with maintaining her power by making these men feel bad about themselves than in helping the men under her care.

Check out more on Nurse Ratched in the Villains episode of my At Home Film Festival Podcast by clicking here.

Pulp Fiction :: Eric Stoltz :: Fast Times at Ridgemont High

2011-01-07T12:00:00.000-06:00

From one stoner role to another, I'm connecting Eric Stoltz from Pulp Fiction where he played John Travolta's drug dealer and the guy who helps revive an overdosing Uma Thurman - to his role in Fast Times at Ridgemont High where he played one of Jeff Spicoli's stoner buddies.

No shirt. No shoes. No dice.

I grew up in the 80's, but never saw Fast Times until I was in college... I was too young to see it in theaters, and I suppose my older brother had never taped it off of HBO (which was how I got exposed to most other 70's and early 80's classics).

Sure, Fast Times looks dated, and you could dismiss it for the clothing styles, music, and mall-culture references that plant it firmly in 1982. You could also dismiss it as a stupid teen comedy or a stoner film. But still every time I watch it I'm impressed by the real issues that the characters have to go through, especially Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh). While most teen comedies revel in the "Yeah! Let's get laid!" mentality, Fast Times actually tackles how teenagers can get scared and confused about the realities of actually having sex and dealing with its consequences.

Plus, it's got Spicoli. Come on, there may not be a better stoner character on film. Sean Penn is great. And Mr. Hand as his nemesis is brilliant.

But who cares about any of that... It's got Phoebe Cates naked.

The Commitments :: Bronagh Gallagher :: Pulp Fiction

2011-01-05T12:00:00.000-06:00

So Bronagh Gallagher isn't a huge name to start with for a connection, but like I said, the Commitments doesn't really have any big names in it, so I have to start somewhere.

She played the short-haired backup singer, Bernie McGloughlin, in The Commitments. In Pulp Fiction, she's Trudi, the friend of drug dealer Eric Stoltz's wife (the one without "all the shit in her face" as Travolta puts it in the movie).

I had rented Reservoir Dogs (or more likely had "borrowed" it without paying from the convenience/video store where I worked... don't worry I returned it) and loved the movie, so was excited when Quentin Tarantino's second movie was about to hit theaters. I didn't realize at the time that Pulp Fiction isn't exactly a good date movie, so I took my girlfriend Emily Safford to see it. I don't remember if she enjoyed herself or not, but I was floored. The retro soundtrack. The haircuts on Travolta and Sam Jackson. The fascinating dialogue. The interlacing stories. Drug use. Jack Rabbit Slim's. Christopher Walken. Marvin's head. Uma Thurman's overdose. Ezekiel 25:17. The Gimp. I had no idea what the hell I had just seen, but I knew I wanted more.

Pulp Fiction is by no means a perfect movie. (I usually find myself fast forwarding through large portions of the Bruce Willis part.) But it without a doubt changed my idea of what movies were allowed to do.

Start :: The Commitments

2011-01-03T12:00:00.003-06:00

OK - first movie entry. These will probably change a lot in format from film to film. I may give a straight-up review. Maybe some memories about the movie and why I have it in my collection. I may talk about the actor that's connecting the two films, but since this is the starting point, there's no connection yet.

I love The Commitments, so it makes for a fun kick off to the project. It's also got a cast of relative unknowns, leaving me with only one other DVD in my collection that I can connect it to (which you'll see in the next post), which is perfect for the starting point.

I was in a band similar to the Commitments when I was in high school. It was the last day of junior high, on the bus ride home, when my friends Pete Benson and Jeremy McCormick said to me, "We should start a band. Like the Blues Brothers." I played drums, Pete played piano, Jeremy played alto sax. Our friends from junior high band would all be in: Scott More played guitar, Ray Callender played trumpet, Russ Johnson played trombone. Steve Madura was in choir, he could sing for us. Once high school rolled around at the end of the summer, we had scrounged up a bass player and second guitarist, plus pegged Sean McLean to play baritone sax. We had a 10-piece band, jamming on some old Blues Brothers songs and whatever else we could find with a horn section in it. We practiced every week in either my basement or Jeremy's (his brother also had a drum kit). We played the annual AFS Revue talent show at the high school to rave reviews ("Peter Gunn" and "Sweet Home Chicago"). Everything was great.

But of course not everything worked out well. We could never decide on a name for the band, going with Untitled one year. Third Rail another. Black and Blues for awhile. Untitled again for our senior year reunion show. Some members of the band left or graduated school. Replacements Jim Windelborn and Andy Vanatta came in on bass and guitar. Scott moved to trombone when Russ left the band. Tim Campbell played harmonica for a couple songs. We started having band meetings to discuss the direction of the group more often than we practiced. Some of the horn players wanted to do more jazz. Others wanted to rock more. Side project bands started eating up everyone's time. That and girlfriends. Meetings were held to decide who should be in or out of the band. It was high school. It got ugly.

But in the midst of all this, I rented The Commitments for the first time. I watched, saying, "That's us!" A few of the other guys in the band watched it too. We even tried playing a few songs from the Commitments soundtrack albums. It was one of the first movies I remember really finding myself identifying with. Of course our band didn't fare any better than the one in the movie. But we still had a great time trying.

My Three Songs: 12/28/10

2010-12-28T14:18:00.000-06:00

1. REO Speedwagon - Riding the Storm Out
2. Rolling Stones - Beast of Burden
3. Slaughter - Fly to the Angels

Theme :: The X-Men. Storm, Beast, and Angel are all members of the comic book superhero team created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Stan Lee celebrates his birthday today.

The List: All My DVD's

2010-12-27T12:00:00.001-06:00

Someone wanted to know exactly which movies I own. That way you can ensure that I'm not cheating - skipping movies that I don't want to watch or can't connect to anything else in my collection.

You could also play along at home... take the list and try to make all the connections yourself. It's way harder and more time consuming than you'd think.

So here they are...

12 Monkeys
2001: A Space Odyssey
28 Days Later
300
A Clockwork Orange
A Few Good Men
A Fish Called Wanda
A Fistful of Dollars
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Airplane!
Alien
Aliens
Almost Famous
Amadeus
American Movie
American Pie
American Psycho
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Animal House
Apocalypse Now
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters
Army of Darkness
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Back to the Future
Back to the Future Part II
Back to the Future Part III
Backdraft
Batman Begins
Batman: The Movie
Battle for the Planet of the Apes
Beavis and Butthead Do America
Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Big
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Billy Madison
Blade Runner
Blazing Saddles
Boogie Nights
Bowling For Columbine
Boyz n the Hood
Braveheart
Bull Durham
Cabin Boy
Caddyshack
Casino
Chasing Amy
Chinatown
Christmas Vacation
Citizen Kane
Clerks
Clerks II
Coming To America
Confidence
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
Critters
Dark City
Dawn of the Dead
Dazed and Confused
Dead Alive
Deja Vu
Die Hard
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Dogma
Dr. Strangelove
El Mariachi
Election
Elf
Escape From the Planet of the Apes
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Evil Dead
Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
Fargo
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Field of Dreams
Fight Club
Fletch
For a Few Dollars More
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Freddy vs. Jason
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
Free Enterprise
Frenzy
Friday
Friday the 13th
From Dusk Till Dawn
Full Metal Jacket
Ghostbusters
Glengarry Glen Ross
Goodfellas
Grindhouse: Death Proof
Grindhouse: Planet Terror
Grosse Point Blank
Groundhog Day
Half Baked
Halloween
Happy Gilmore
Hard Candy
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Heat
Heist
High Fidelity
Hot Fuzz
I Love You, Man
I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
In Bruges
In the Line of Fire
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Interview With the Vampire
Jackie Brown
Jacob's Ladder
Jaws
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Jerry Maguire
Jurassic Park
Kill Bill, Vol. 1
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Knocked Up
L.A. Confidential
Legends of the Fall
Lethal Weapon
Lethal Weapon 2
Lethal Weapon 3
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Lost in Translation
Love Actually
Major League
Mallrats
Marnie
Mean Streets
Memento
Mission Impossible
Mission Impossible 3
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Monty Python's Meaning of Life
Moon
Napoleon Dynamite
Night of the Living Dead
North by Northwest
Notorious
Ocean's Eleven
Office Space
Old School
On the Waterfront
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Patton
Pi
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Planet of the Apes
Point Break
Poltergeist
Primal Fear
Psycho
Pulp Fiction
Raging Bull
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Rear Window
Requiem For a Dream
Reservoir Dogs
Return of the Jedi
Rio Bravo
Risky Business
Roger & Me
Rosemary's Baby
Roxanne
Rushmore
Saving Private Ryan
Saw
Say Anything
Scarface
School of Rock
Scrooged
Seven
Shadow of a Doubt
Shaun of the Dead
Shrek
Sideways
Signs
Sin City
Singles
Sixteen Candles
Sneakers
Sold Out: A Threevening with Kevin Smith
Spellbound
Spider-Man
Spider-Man 2
Star Trek
Star Wars
Stripes
Suicide Kings
Sunshine
Superbad
Superman
Superman II
Superman III
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Swingers
Talk Radio
Taxi Driver
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The Big Lebowski
The Blues Brothers
The Breakfast Club
The Bridge on the River Kwai
The Brothers McMullen
The Commitments
The Crow
The Dark Knight
The Departed
The Empire Strikes Back
The Exorcist
The Fountain
The Godfather
The Godfather, Part II
The Godfather, Part III
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
The Goonies
The Howling
The Jerk
The Karate Kid
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lost Boys
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence
The Manchurian Candidate
The Matrix
The Matrix Reloaded
The Muppet Movie
The Natural
The Omen
The Princess Bride
The Proposition
The Ring
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The Royal Tenenbaums
The Searchers
The Shining
The Silence of the Lambs
The Simpsons Movie
The Terminator
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Usual Suspects
The Warriors
The Wedding Crashers
The Wedding Singer
The X-Files
There's Something About Mary
Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead
This Is Spinal Tap
Tombstone
Tommy Boy
Top Gun
Touch of Evil
Trading Places
Training Day
Trainspotting
Tropic Thunder
True Lies
Unforgiven
V For Vendetta
Vanilla Sky
Vertigo
Wall Street
Wall-E
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
What About Bob?
When Harry Met Sally
Wonder Boys
X-Men
X-Men 2: X-Men United
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Young Frankenstein
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zodiac
Zombieland

The Six Degrees of DVD Project

2010-12-20T12:00:00.000-06:00

The Project:
My DVD & Blu-Ray collection currently contains nearly 300 movies (plus some music DVD's and a bunch of TV shows). My goal: To watch every movie in my collection in such an order that each film shares an actor or director with the film before it... connecting my entire collection in one big 266+ degrees of separation.

For example: If I watch Schindler's List, I could follow it up with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, because both were directed by Stephen Spielberg. I could then follow Close Encounters with What About Bob? since both star Richard Dreyfuss.

The Rules:
1. I must own the movie.
That means no Netflix, rentals, library check-outs, loans from friends, burned discs, or stuff I recorded from TV.

2. Connections must be actor or director only.
No cheating by connecting movies with the producer, writer, key grip, best boy, or caterer.

3. Actors must be recognizable either by name or by character.
I won't cheat by finding some extra who was in the background without any lines in two movies.

4. No documentaries or music DVD's.
Without any actors and with directors that usually haven't transitioned into feature films, it would be nearly impossible to fit my copies of Radiohead's Best Of music video DVD, Led Zeppelin Live DVD, or docs like American Movie and Roger and Me into the list.

5. No TV on DVD.
As much as I love my collections of shows like The Simpsons, The Wire, The Shield, South Park, Weeds, The Muppet Show, and more... this is a project about movies, so those will stay on the shelf.

6. I can watch other stuff.
This project is just for fun. I will be going to the movie theater, getting DVD's from Netflix, and popping in some of my favorites to watch with my friends.

7. The new movie rule.
I'm going to buy more movies. So what to do about this list once something new has been added to the mix? I foresee three scenarios:

A) I can fit the new movie in between two movies I haven't watched yet. No problem. Just put the new DVD in the list when I get to that point.
B) The new movie will only fit between two I've already watched as part of the project. The plan would be to watch the new DVD before moving forward on the list, and place it in the list where it would have fit if I had owned it at the start of the project.
C) Major frak-up. The new movie will only fit into the project with a major overhaul of the order, screwing up the order of movies I've already watched as part of the project. I'm not sure what I'll do in this situation. Will have to figure it out as we go.

The Beginning:
I'm starting with the 1991 film, The Commitments. I'll post connections and thoughts as I go through each movie. Stay tuned...