That time could be better spent beefing up their 25 page paper on the letter of Romans, spending all day at Panera, or praying. Why have fun wen there’s so much to do?

I am helping put together a little activity for friends round my area of residence, southern california. I have heard some silly excuses from my fellow cohorts on the topic of their not attending this fabulous event. Selfishly, to those around me, and benevolently, those around the world, do not let your bible collegeness get in the way of getting some down time.

Dance your troubles away dear friends, dance them away: yuletideball.virb.com.

Unless of course you’re baptist.

Girlies, you know how it goes.  You wake up in the morning, and spend an hour in your closet trying to figure out what to wear.  After many outfits, mix-n-matches, and trips to the mirror, you finally pick out the perfect outfit for the day.  Having spent less time than usual getting ready, you arrive early to school to hang out in the library and socialize.

Now, at a normal college, with normal people, you’d hear compliments like these: “Wow, that’s a great color on you!” “I love the cut of that top!” “Girl, the back of yo’ head is ridikkolous.” But you’re at Bible College.  Instead, you get the following:

“That maxi dress hides your figure perfectly.”

Because it’s better to leave everything to the imagination, right?

“I really like the fact that your shirt collar is so high that you look like you’re choking.”

Binding your breasts helps, too.

“Thanks for keeping our brothers in Christ from stumbling.”

Oh, is that what I was going for?  I just like oversized sweaters.

“Everything else looks great, but don’t you think those peep-toes have just a little too much toe-cleavage going on?”

Everyone knows toe-cleavage is one step away from real cleavage, so we better keep it all hidden away.  Wear gloves all the time, while you’re at it.

“I dig the way your high-waisted jeans disguise the fact that you have a butt.”

Mmhmm.  Might as well bind your butt, too.

See, ladies, if you’re not being complimented on your modesty, you must be a hussy.  My roommate, also a girl, just agreed, so it must be true.  (Wherever two or more are in agreement is declared truth, right?  Isn’t that how it works?)  So next time you’re getting dressed in the morning, think to yourself, “Will people actually be able to tell I am woman in this?  If the answer is yes, you might need to chage.

Subscribe in iTunes here!

Email your questions/comments/stories to podcast@sixminutesofbanter.com

Read the original post: 21 | judging your fellow students for forgetting their bible http://wp.me/p13Rak-jF

A few days go by, and when your first class meets, you find yourself the only girl in a room full of boys.  You may think that they’ll be lining up to ask you out within a week’s time, but you’d be wrong.

Here’s what actually happens:

1. They forget you’re actually there.

You find yourself with a book over your head, trying to drown out the conversations based on Spirit of the Rainforest, and what the men do to make themselves more “attractive”.

2. They acknowledge you’re there, and leave a three-seat radius around you of empty chairs.

They decided to be single this semester/year/whole-college-career, and refuse to associate with women, as to protect their singleness from your wily ways.

3. They ask you for advice on how to ask girls out.

You are now viewed as a resource to inform them of how chicks’ minds work, so that they might more fully be able to woo one of them.

4. They interject I Timothy 2:12-15 into every conversation they hold with you.

Just to make sure you’re not in Bible College for the wrong reasons.  Like to teach men.

5. They start to lose that gentlemanly mystery reserved for boys-only gatherings.

E.g., they no longer have a problem farting in front of or around you.

See, girls, when you’re around so many boys all the time, they forget you’re a woman.  Because you’re their sister-in-Christ, all of the sudden, they can treat you just like they did their little sister back home when they were seven.

Good luck, girlies.

Subscribe in iTunes here!

Email your questions/comments/stories to podcast@sixminutesofbanter.com

Read the original post: 20 | That One Guy Who Rebukes Too Much http://wp.me/p13Rak-jq

This post goes out to all you overachievers in the bible college world. We all know that there are, rightfully so, those of us who like to go above and beyond the call of duty. Whether it’s writing up a little pre-game outline before a class starts for the semester, reading a few extra commentaries, even bringing extra snacks to class to share with your neighbor.

Anyway you look at it there is an overabundance of overachievers at any bible college you find yourself in. Please don’t think I’m hatin’ on these folks, some of the biggest overachievers I know are some of my best friends. I would, however, LOVE to give you a good idea of what an overachiever looks like and how you can spot one or become aware of your own overachiever-ness…

1. Usually an overachiever is a little smarter than everyone else.

It just stands to reason. Because of this fact, they will either be answering every single question the professor asks with a bible college answer, or they will be sitting quietly in the corner trying to bite his (or her) tongue as he-she listens to all of his classmates (or professor…yikes!… check please!) stumble over the text like a couple of first year bible college eisogetes.

2. Usually an overachiever will be talking during class.

This may seem a little rude, pretentious, ungodly and/or just straight disrespectful, but really, the overachiever is simply trying to explain to his fellow classmate (see #1.) the intricacies, historical-grammatical context, original language, etc., etc. of the text being worked through. Watch out for this one.

3. Sometimes, and this is a rarity, the overachiever  will ask the professor a question that only he-she will understand.

Examples: “Do you think this speaks to Jesus’ theinthropicity?” or perhaps “This has to do with the fall of causal probabilistic empirical thought that eventually led to the baconianism, doesn’t it?” Maybe even something like “Is that the aorist tense formative?” They could even say “This seems like a classic bourgeoisie-proletariat situation, don’t you think?” This overachiever might even have the audacity to say somthin’ like “Do you think this is a midrash?”

I love these types of people, they’re the best, I just can’t get enough of overachievers I wish I was one. It’s these kind of folks that keep the world turning; demanding perfect; correcting Wikipedia; translating the bible; writing books; kickin’ butt; takin’ names.

See what I mean?

But nevertheless, the conversation roadblocks for a bible college student are infinite. So I’ll choose one: conversation footnotes. Conversation footnotes, a term coined by one 6MOB’s own David J Seehusen. Conversation footnotes, as defined not yet by Webster’s Dictionary is as follows: The time at which a bible college student will choose to deviate from a given conversation to discuss one or many topics the bible college student deems not given the proper explanation in said conversation. These conversation footnotes can last many weeks at a time.

Caution: do not be lured into a conversation footnote. Many think the saying “loose lips sinks ships” refers to gossip, or the giving up of some privileged information, but in fact they were referring to the bible college students propensity for conversation footnotes.

So what I thought I’d do is provide you, the reader, with some navigation in avoiding these dangerous conversation footnotes:

1. Ask for prayer

The bible college student will never pass a moment to cut a conversation short to pray. If you feel the conversation footnotes are looming, cut them off at the pass.

2 .Ask to pray for them

Even more effective than asking for prayer is interceding and asking to pray for them. Once again, a situation the bible college student will not pass up.

3. Enter a conversation footnote of your own

The trick here, to really throw them off, is to start a conversation footnote with no relation to bible college knowledge. This will leave them in a conversation quandary looking for a way out. Just like you were moment ago.

Good luck, friends.

Photo credit: The Phraseology Project

Subscribe in iTunes here!

Email your questions/comments/stories to podcast@sixminutesofbanter.com

Read the original post: 19 | Married Couples Taking Classes Together http://wp.me/p13Rak-in

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s great to be back with you. talkin’ about life; proverbially shootin’ the proverbial “breeze”. Anyway, a few weeks ago I stumbled upon a realization that really doesn’t need to be written about. The reality of this realization is that we take part in giving “bible college answers” every. Single. Second… So how exactly does a bible college student answer a question?

1.A loooooooooong conversation

Let’s be honest and blunt here boys and girls. Learning all we’re learning; teaching all we’re teaching; being exposed to all this intellectual and spiritual intensity has an effect on our entire lives. A good part of it is actually, believe it or not, good. We’re able to break down ideas and understand how and why we have been affected by our world and culture. We’re taught that we are children of history and that our history can affect the way we think now.

2. Absolutely ZERO practical implications. 

It should be known to all that 90% of the answer will have to do with the historical, grammatical, historical-grammatical, semantical, biblical, and translational implications of the question. It will get broken down and chewed apart. this gracious bible college student might even bring in biblical support of their claim to the question. But heaven forbid they actually bring it back to the practical implication of the aforementioned question.

3. Rabbit trails. so many, not so little, rabbit trails.

This student, bless their heart, will have conversational foot notes that will take them on huge rabbit trails that will take them flipping through their ESV study bible somthin’ fierce! By the time they actually get around to proving their point, no one has a clue what the original question was.

4. Soap boxing—CLASSIC.

This question, no matter what it is, will always be twisted and turned to fit what the bible college student is “thinking through” this month. A simple question  from a humble friend- “how should I preach the gospel to my divorced parents” eventually turns into an answer like this, from the bible college student- “AND THAT’S WHY WE’VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND THE SUPRULAPSAIRNISM VS. INFRALAPSARIANISM DEBATE!!! ”

5. Lastly, but most importantly, everything becomes spiritual. 

A simple question from a friend like “how did you like The Notebook” can easily turn into an answer like “well, it has some very interesting implications on our view of love and the overemphasis we have on finding true love in a world where the only true love is Gods. I hated that movie because it painted an adulterous picture of true love. Since the Greek mindset became the overpowering world view in the early 5^th and 4th centuries B.C., at first under Athenian leadership successfully repelling the military threat of the Persian invasion, our view of romantic love, or Eros as they would say, has become purely sexual, driven by our desires and not by what is best for the community, or corporate solidarity. Because of this, we cannot view love in the same way the world does, we’ve got to redeem our view of love as much more spiritually containing and encompassing.  We, as the body of Christ must make our view of love spiritual and not physical or emotional!”

If you’ll notice, in true bible college form, I have answered this question almost exactly how a bible college student would… I am what I am… when in Rome… what comes around, goes around… etc., etc.

Why do I know this for a fact? Because I have a friend. A friend named Bryan. Bryan is an amazing guys I started up at bible college with. He was in my incoming class and we learned the ropes all at the same time.

But as I made friends, and moved forward in my bible college career, someone had to stay behind and look after those newbs. Someone has to look out, like someone else did for us, for those incoming freshman to make sure they’re getting off to the right start on their bible college journey. My friend Bryan is that man.

He’s the guys who make friends with every incoming freshman. He’s their link to the rest of the bible college community. Without him, these poor freshman would stay isolated in their bubble and suddenly see a new slough of faces at their first rebuke lunch.

There are a few lessons we can learn from my friend Bryan and some other Newb Kings I have met if you’d like to be a king yourself:

1. Always arrange to live with the freshman.

If you want to be King of the Newbs, you have to arrange your roommate situation each year to somehow be in a community house with these new crew of incoming students.

2. Always be overly steeped in local culture.

What better tour guide from the master him/her self? If you want to be King of the Newbs, you gotta now the local spots!

3. Always be plugged in to at least three local churches.

The king of Newbs has to have a good pulse on the local church community to give informed recommendations to their minions. They will not simply attend, but will be deeply connected in ministry at all of these local churches. The more churches you can handle, the bigger your reign will be.

4 .Never work a job more than 20 hours per week. 

Remember, being King of the Newbs is a full time in it of itself, so don’t overload yourself with a real job.

5. Always keep your facebook privacy settings off.

You want to be sure to let your future flock check you out a little before you come in and take over.

6. Get your season pass to that graduation.

There is nothing more gratifying than seeing your little bird leave the nest, be sure to have that front row year after year.

Photo credit: The Phraseology Project