Skatterbrainz Blog

Dave's List of Most Increditastical Fantabulous Drumming Tracks

2013-05-17T16:37:00.003-04:00

(Preface: I played drums and percussion "professionally" for about fifteen years, many years ago.
I don't play anymore - can't afford a new set - but I still tap the shit out of my steering wheel, lap,
dashboard, and anything that's not fast enough to run away - when there's a good tune on).

Most Fun-to-Play Drum Tracks:

Track	Performer	Band/Artist	Album
Southbound Suarez	John Bonham	Led Zeppelin	In Through the Out Door
Cinema	Alan White	Yes	90125
Peaches En Regalia	Vinnie Colaiuta	Frank Zappa	Tinsel Town Rebellion
Double Talkin' Jive	Matt Sorum	Guns n' Roses	Use Your Illusion I
Doctor Feelgood	Tommy Lee	Motley Crue	Doctor Feelgood
Dirty Little Thing	Matt Sorum	Velvet Revolver	Contraband
Jessica	Butch Trucks / Jaimo Johannsen	The Allman Brothers Band	Eat a Peach
Crime of the Century	Bob Siebenberg	Supertramp	Crime of The Century
Trampled Under Foot	John Bonham	Led Zeppelin	Physical Graffiti
Greasy Kid Stuff	Chris Frazier	Steve Vai	Passion and Warfare
I'd Love to Change The World	Ric Lee	Ten Years After	A Space In Time

Most Fun-to-Play Percussion Tracks:

Track	Performer	Band/Artist	Album
Oye Como Va?	Michael Shrieve	Santana	Abraxas
Mind Ecology	Zakir Hussein	Shakti with John McLaughlin	Natural Elements

Stinkiest, Drippiest Groove-Oriented

Track	Performer	Band/Artist	Album
Never Alone	Vinnie Colaiuta	Jeff Beck	Emotion and Commotion
The Animal	Chris Frazier	Steve Vai	Passion and Warfare
Can't You Hear Me Knockin?	Charlie Watts	The Rolling Stones	Sticky Fingers
Belief	xx	John Mayer	Continuum

Trickiest to Learn

Track	Performer	Band/Artist	Album
YYZ	Neil Peart	Rush	Moving Pictures
Changes	Alan White	Yes	90125
Space Boogie	Simon Philips	Jeff Beck	There And Back
Windows To The Soul	Mike Mangini	Steve Vai	The Ultra Zone

Most Ass-Kicking, Balls-Through-the-Wall, Drum Snippets (intro or solo)

Track	Performer	Band/Artist	Album
Pick Me, I'm Clean	Vinnie Colaiuta	Frank Zappa	Tinsel Town Rebellion
Over The Mountain	Tommy Aldridge	Ozzy	Diary Of A Madman
Hot For Teacher	Alex Van Halen	Van Halen	1984

Autodesk Product Feature Codes (FlexLM), versions 2010 to 2014

2013-05-17T09:07:00.000-04:00

I had to look-up feature codes for Autodesk products to verify some of our FlexLM license files today and figured I'd share the fruits of my vegetating brain work.

Autodesk 2010: http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/ps/dl/item?siteID=123112&id=13219652&linkID=12305695

Autodesk 2011: http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/ps/dl/item?siteID=123112&id=15224763&linkID=13806469

Autodesk 2012: http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/ps/dl/item?siteID=123112&id=17288427&linkID=9243099

Autodesk 2013: http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/ps/dl/item?siteID=123112&id=18708301&linkID=9242258

Autodesk 2014: http://usa.autodesk.com/adsk/servlet/ps/dl/item?siteID=123112&id=21374698&linkID=12305695

Enjoy!

Biography Template - Male

2013-05-13T00:34:00.001-04:00

Introduction

The purpose of this document is to provide a fill-in-the-blank form for creating a biographical write-up while keeping the reader interested and alert. Just copy and paste the content below into your favorite text editor, and replace the FIRSTNAME, MIDDLENAME, and LASTNAME entries with yours, and you're ready to hand it to any prospective employer or government official. It's that easy!

Let's Begin...

[INSERT PHOTO HERE] FIRSTNAME MIDDLENAME LASTNAME was born to parents Melvin Shanghai Sukimbo, from Cuba, and Shi-Shi Von Uteristein, from Afghanistan, while living in the small Italian village of Ombwata Kickbutti, on the Eastern shores of Chad.

At the age of two, FIRSTNAME learned to speak fourteen languages, and read and write six more. Upon entering the first grade, he had mastered multivariate Calculus and factored all of the prime numbers, when he stayed home from school with a mild case of Herpes and Ebola.

By the time FIRSTNAME had entered Middle School, his family had to relocate to Australia to avoid his paternity suit with four Elementary School teachers and the assistant principal. The suit was eventually dropped when the five plaintiffs mysteriously turned up in an old, rusty, solar-powered wood-chipper somewhere in the lawless gang-ruled neighborhoods of Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.

Prior to graduating High School, FIRSTNAME earned a scholarship to John C. Holmes University, for his exceptional work curing Cancer, AIDS and his invention of Teflon-coated undergarments. While studying for PhD thesis, FIRSTNAME co-founded the multi-billion dollar corporation Gasious Clay, manufacturing scent-controlled automated Halon systems for office restrooms. He sold his interests in that company and spent the next few weeks studying to earn his IT certifications. By the end of the month, he had earned MCP, MCSA, MSCE, MCSD, MCDST, MCITP, and MCT certifications.

Within a week after his Bar Mitzvah, FIRSTNAME earned his Cisco CCNA and CCNE certifications. Before his 19th birthday, he won the IronMan competition in France, handily defeating the reigning world champion Moses Van Roidshot. In fact, FIRSTNAME set a new record for lifting and carrying 500 lbs of concrete blocks across a 100 yard obstacle course, walking on his hands, with the weight suspended from his penis by braided steel cables.

At his next position as the Mexican Ambassador to Somalia, FIRSTNAME solved all of the same problems your company is just now having to deal with. This makes him the perfect candidate for CEO of your organization, even if you currently do not have a position titled as "CEO". You could do a lot worse, and you always have.

How to Not Suck at Scripting, Part 1

2013-04-10T00:46:00.004-04:00

I hear this ALL OF THE TIME from IT guys who have somehow not caught the script-writing bug: "I wish I knew how to write scripts". Usually it's followed by a deep breath, a sigh, and staring off either up into the ether, or down at the ground. I'm here to tell you how you can find that bug, and make it bite you in the ass. This is Part 1 of a 2-part article. This part will focus on the "why" aspects. Part 2 will focus on the "what" and "how" aspects.

The Basic Basics

First off, before I get into the enumerated list, I have to explain what is this thing we call "script-writing" or "scripting". A "program" or "application" generally implies, or denotes, program code that has been compiled into a new binary file that can be executed by the operating system, or by another (aka "host") application. A "script", on the other hand, is generally *not* compiled into a new (i.e. binary, hex, octal, whatever) file, but left "as-is" in the original "source code".

Source Code is the stuff you type with your own sweaty, trembling Red Bull-infused hands. If you use something like Windows Notepad to open a program file, and you can actually spot words or phrases in your native language (e.g. English, German, etc.) it's probably either source code or script code. If you open it in Notepad and it looks like the following crap, it's probably compiled code.

MZ
(*&(#*$)@&)#($*@&#$*&^(000011100-11)!00*!&^0010010101100011100(*&@#][}{}\?<>??::^!@~&^%&^0111011010101001]]]

The simplest giveaway is the file name extension. I'm not going to back to 101 level stuff here, but you should have a clue that .EXE files are programs or applications, while .BAT, .VBS, .JS, .PS1 and .PY are usually script files.

One important thing to remember is that while there are many scripting languages, they are all basically serving a common purpose: providing a low-cost, low-complication resource for system admins to automate tedious or repetitive tasks. Sure, some languages offer more robust features for certain tasks than others, but in the end, it's a matter of matching up the tools for the jobs.

This discussion dovetails a bit with my recent post titled "Why Every SysAdmin Should Learn to Write a Script", however, this one will go in the direction of establishing a few basic technical ground rules. Stay tuned for more... :)

Another Book Announcement and More!

2013-04-03T22:26:00.000-04:00

I've just published another book! Yes! I know exactly what you're thinking: "What the...? Why do they let him keep doing this?! Have they no mercy upon our eyeballs?!"

Well, in the interests of science, humanity, environment and the ever-pressing need to keep gasoline in the tank of my car, I've decided it was time to pull together as many of the mindless stories I could from my old-as-dirt years working in the world of IT. That was a very long run-on sentence. My high school English teachers are probably rolling over in their graves right now.

There's also quite a lot of blabber about how I got into the world of IT and how I swam through the sea of CAD into the ocean of Infrastructure Management and Software Development. It really is fascinating. Not how I got into IT, but the fact that I could construct a sentence that almost sounded coherent. Wow!

What's this New Book All About?

The new book is called "You're Only as Good as Your Last Mistake". Sub-titled "25 Years of Boneheaded Reflection and Stupid IT Stories to Dull your Senses". It's a blending of a little biographical nonsense, some seriously pretentious pontification, some articles adapted from my blog (this blog), and stories about things going bump in the electronic night. I suppose it could be called a BioTechieHumorFailDisasterFest. Uhhh. Yeah.

It's available on the Amazon Kindle store in every country where Amazon can sell books (US, UK, France, Germany, Italy, India, Japan, Spain, Canada and Brazil, as far as I know).

Here's the GOOD NEWS!

It's only $2.99 (USD) and whatever that translates to in other currency
Don't have a Kindle? No problem. You can download a FREE Kindle Reader app for iPhone, Android, Blackberry, Windows Phone, Windows XP/Vista/7/8, Mac OS, and ...
You can read Kindle books online in almost any web browser using the Kindle Cloud Reader!
If you are an Amazon Prime member, you can "borrow" eBooks, including all of my eBooks, for FREE!

What's the Catch?

I only ask a small favor: It's a BIG favor for me, and a small effort on your part, but I really would appreciate honest reviews of my books. If you've purchased, or borrowed, any of my eBooks and actually read them (without pausing in the middle to stab yourself in the eyeballs with a fork), please go to the Amazon web site for the book(s) you've read and submit your opinion on them?
You can start at my Author Profile page to make it easy.
Thank you!

Sample: "Where it All Began: From Doritos to Digital Ships"

"Chronologically it's weird, because some of those jobs were in parallel with others. For example, in that maze of titles I managed to fit in roughly five good years of rock and jazz band, but whatever. I also weaved in about ten years of artwork (painting, drawing, squishing clay stuff around, and so on) which never earned me more than "Hey man, that's cool!" I remember responding a few times with "Cool enough to buy?", and the response to that being something like "Yeah! By somebody.", but somehow "somebody" could never be found.

Sometime in early 1984, Mark, one of my brothers stoned friends, walked into our kitchen while I was maniacally inhaling a bowl of Fruit Loops (my favorite cereal at the time).He stopped at the doorway to exclaim "I got a job, dude!" to which we all replied with stunned silence. I decided to inquire, saying something intelligent like "Oh yeah? What?"

He explained that he was hired as a "Naval Designer" at a local Naval engineering firm, and went on to indulge us in this magically mysterious thing called "benefits", and something even more interesting, called a "salary". If I hadn't grown up in a Navy town (okay, a Navy "region"), I would have assumed a "Naval Engineer" designed belly-button replacements or something.

Most of what Mark said was really fascinating, even though I could barely hear his muttering over my own cereal-chewing noise. The best way to describe him is to think of someone who looks, sounds, and acts a lot like Jeff Spiccolli (Fast Times at Ridgemont High), only not as funny, has a mustache and wears glasses, coming in and telling you he was hired at an engineering firm. You get the idea.

Somewhere towards the end of my bowl of cereal Mark said something that perked my ears up. I think it was something he mentioned about there being more positions needing to be filled, and that they paid pretty well. As it turned out, there were roughly twenty openings for "Drafting Apprentice" jobs, so I ran down and applied. After a short interview ("Can you hold a pencil, boy? Alrighty! You is hired!").

I was finger-printed, scanned, questioned, photographed, probed and stamped with a badge and told to show up at 7:30 AM the following Monday. That led to five or six years of my work as a Drafter/Designer in the U.S. Naval engineering field."

Sample above (C)2013 David M. Stein, All Rights Reserved. May not be reproduced or copied, transmitted, in whole or in part, for any purposes or derivative use, without explicit written consent of the author (me). And let's face it: If you're so desperate that you'd consider copying this literary fast food schlock, well, you may need some serious medication already.

Automation Potential - If Only...

2013-03-27T22:34:00.000-04:00

After years (too many to count, or even want to count actually) of working in the IT field, I've come to realize that 99 percent of what holds back businesses, schools, organizations of all kinds from achieving even minor automation benefits from the tools they already have at their disposal is their own lack of leveraging some of their most basic features. If only...

The "Managed By" field for User accounts were populated consistently in Active Directory (AD).
Computers were named consistently with respect to function and disposition using parse-able syntax.
The "Location" field were filled out consistently for Computers, and Printers in AD.
The "Description" field were not only paid a little attention, but used consistently in AD.
A little time were set aside to clean up File shares and storage folders.
A basic set of tools were included in the base image of every desktop and laptop computer.

Filling out the 'Managed By' field for user accounts makes it easy to generate automatic organization charts using Visio or other chart tools. With Visio you can not only automate the org charts, but automate publishing to an intranet location. The "managed by" association can also be used to automate workflow operations in all sorts of applications, such as System Center Service Manager.

Note: Even if you don't use Exchange or any internal e-mail system, filling out user account fields makes it easy to automatically generate look-up tools for finding employees by name, location, title, department, and more.

When computers are named with a parse-able syntax, it opens the door for all sorts of automation tricks. From automatic naming processes during MDT and OSD provisioning, to Group Policy targeting (WMI-filtering, etc.), to scripting, to inventorying, to whatever. A parse-able name is one that is constructed by concatenating codes that represent specific attributes.

For example "SVDB10012" might represent "Server", "Virtualized", "Database Role", asset number "10012". Another example might be "DNVA4034" to represent "Desktop computer", "Norfolk, Virginia office", asset number "4034". The potential code schemes is limitless, as long as you don't violate DNS or WINS naming limitations.

One customer I've worked with uses a scheme similar to the following (modified to protect the innocent, of course):

Device Code:

D = Desktop
L = Laptop
T = Tablet
M = Mobile device / Smartphone
S = Server

Functional Code:

P = Physical
V = Virtual
C = Cloud hosted

Location Code:

NN = Office location code (numbers or letters)

Asset Code:

nnnnn = 5-digit asset number assigned in inventory and purchase tracking system

Additional "codes" might include organization (division, department, etc.), project or program association, security category (classified, non-classified), regulatory compliance scope (SOX, HIPAA, etc.), shared usage (kiosk, conference room, etc.), infrastructure role (telephony, scanning, CAM operations, etc.), and so on. You can use these codes to control script behavior, Group Policy filtering applicability, OSD task sequence automation, AD queries, inventory reports, and on and on.

Whether you use Symantec Ghost, MDT, Configuration Manager OSD, or some other tool to prepare, maintain and deploy a "standard" operating environment for your desktops, laptops and tablets, don't forget to include some basic tools to help with troubleshooting and even client-side automation. Some suggestions might include a few Sysinternals utilities, Trace32 or CMTrace log viewers, Intel or AMD processor diagnostic tools, and so on. You don't have to do this if it doesn't benefit you, but if you discover that you've been copying certain apps or files to computers each time you troubleshoot problems, you might want to consider making those items part of the standard installation.

I'm not suggesting that you should immediately run out and start doing these things. I am only suggesting that you stop and think carefully about how you are managing things now, and what you could do to make it possible to automate certain tasks later on as a result of the work you put in up front. If you make some small changes now, it can open up incredible potential later on for automating tasks that otherwise can be very difficult and time-consuming.

Why Every SysAdmin Should Learn to Write a Script

2013-03-24T12:31:00.001-04:00

I'm a bit overdue for a perceptual conceptual brain-twisting deep-dive article, and caffeine seems to always push me in that direction, so it was time. And besides, I've been torquing my brain to the limits working a huge article series for 4Sysops on Troubleshooting Configuration Manager clients. On top of that I'm in the final throws of my next book, and no shortage of "real" work at the office to contend with, and trying to maintain sanity with four kids still at home, and well, it'll be worth the wait, but I may need a stiff drink when it's wrapped up.

So, without further adieu...

Why the Title?

There's no shortage of articles, blogs and whatnot that tout the "benefits of scripting and coding" for anyone who spends time on a computer. Okay, maybe they're mostly aimed at those who earn a paycheck spending time on a computer, but that's okay too. Most of the articles I've read however seem to focus on the benefits of automating common tasks, as well as extremely difficult or complex tasks. That's fine also, but there's more to it than that. Much more. To me they're kind of missing the main point:

Writing a script teaches you a particular way of thinking.

Sure, automating tasks pays pretty well, but there's more to be gained by an everyday computer technician from learning to write even the most basic script. One of the main reasons, indeed THE reason, that I chose the title for this article has nothing to do with automating tasks at all. Let us drink the Kool Aid of digression and digress with me for a bit, mmkay?...

A Different Kind of Thinking

Writing software code, whether it's to be compiled or interpreted, involves a process of thought. Granted, there are some variations of the thought process as it pertains to a particular programming language, as well writing functional, procedural or object-oriented code, but the process itself; the process of telling the computer to perform certain actions, remains. It's a logic process.

If This is True: Do That / Otherwise: Do something else...

Disregarding semantics for a moment, the flow of logic is roughly the same whether you work with C++, JavaScript, LISP, Python, Ruby or whatever. Picture the following example scenario:

Task: Instruct a Robot to retrieve a box of cereal from a cabinet on the other side of the room.

That sounds easy, right? "Hey, robot. Get me the box of cereal."

But the robot doesn't move. It needs to be told:

where to go
how to get there
what exactly to retrieve
how to actually retreive it
where exactly to go next
how to go to the next location
when to perform each step

The only basic questions it doesn't absolutely need to ask are the who and why aspects. For now, anyway. Let's ignore the possibility that it's a super-advanced robot that understands these things. Let's instead go with a robot that was just born and has to be taught like a baby human would. These steps come with a few qualifying pieces as well:

where to go: relative to current location
how to get there: walk, roll, crawl / turns, ascentions (climbs),descentions, and distances
what exactly to retrieve: which object(s), means for identifying or locating
how to actually retreive it: grasp, slide, push, pull, tip, scoop / carry, store, clutch
where exactly to go next: relative to current location
how to go to the next location: walk, roll, crawl / turns, ascentions (climbs),descentions, and distances
when to perform each step: now/immediate, x minutes/seconds from now/from previous step

It should make you pause for a moment and begin breaking down the sequence of tasks in detail:

Turn [n] degrees to your [right/left]
Move forward approximately [x] feet and stop
Turn [n] degrees to your [right/left]
Move forward approximately [x] feet and stop
Raise arm upward to [x] degrees from default position
Extend arm forward [x] inches
Grasp cabinet handle
Pull grasped handle, swing arc to [left/right] until door is opened [x] degrees from starting position
Release handle
...

You get the idea. Those of you that have actually programmed machines like this already know that I'm glossing over a lot of detailed steps in between. This is actually the basis for how a programming language is developed: step by step, nouns and verbs. Then come the adjectives (gently, loud, etc.), until the language is matured enough to accomplish the general class of tasks it was intended to address.

Side Note: When asked "what is the best programming language?" the answer is: "There is no such thing as a 'best programming language'". Every language is better at some particular tasks than others. A programming language is a tool. A tool is a means for accomplishing one or more tasks. Each tool is conceived and built to address a particular set of tasks.

Contextually, some languages are "better" to master with regards to job opportunities or specific projects. From a technical point of view, the concept of "better" depends on specific comparisons of individual features as they align with a set of specific tasks which are to be accomplished. The more general or multi-purpose capability a particular tool becomes, the less specialized it becomes at the same time.

That was a lot of mumbo-jumbo, sheesh.

You may start letting your mind wander into additional challenges, like navigating stairs, odd angles, and so on. Hopefully another thought crossed your mind: How much we, as human beings, take for granted this little stuff. Imagine what someone fighting through physical therapy has to deal with as they learn to walk or speak again following a major injury.

In most respects, this way of thinking forces you to shoehorn your intentions into the mouth of the beast we call a computer. The point is that when you're forced to structure your thinking in someone else's terms, it also forces you to think more clearly about what it is you're trying accomplish.

In many respects, it forces you into a serialized or sequential mode, even if your goal requires solving parallel processes. You have a Start and a Finish. A beginning and an end. Initialization and termination. An Alpha and an Omega (for you religious folks, a little humor, pardon me). Regardless of having to contend with seemingly random or asynchronous sub-tasks, the overall context has (or should have) a defined start and end. If you're looking to run a program that just goes off and does a bunch of unrelated things; does a lot of unrelated and undefined things, and never ends, that's been done already: It's called politics.

Let's put this into somewhat of a "real world scenario" for a moment. A

Example: Finding all Files in a Folder that Contain a Particular Text Value or Numeric Pattern

This is a very common task indeed. Whether it's finding documents that contain a reference to a particular contract number, or data files that contain a numeric pattern, or sales records with a particular date, log files that include a specific name or code, the logic for pursuing the answer is pretty much the same. What differs is the trivial stuff like formats, locations, and the periphery like environment and concurrency limitations. I say "trivial" in the sense that those are relatively less important than the primary goal being sought. I'm fully aware that in many cases those so-called "trivial" extraneous things can become the biggest headache to deal with. Okay, enough blabbering from me. Let's dissect this creature...

What are we trying to accomplish here?

We need to identify what we are looking for: ____
We need to identify where to look for it: ____
We need to identify what to do when we find it: ____

There are millions of other things we can do, and may need to do, in addition to these basic questions, but in most cases these are the three most important questions to answer. You could boil them down into two primary categories: Target and Action. What is the target and What action do we take on it (or because of it)?

For this example, we'll keep it simple and go with the following parameters:

Find all instances of the text value "CNX-10114025" within all of the documents contained in the Folders located on server FPS0025 under the shared folder root of "Contracts". The target UNC path then becomes "\\FPS0025\Contracts". Maybe a quick inspection of the folder structure reveals that there are nested folders which will need to be scanned, as well finding that there are an assortment of file formats to be found:

Microsoft Word, Excel, of various versions (.doc, .xls, .docx, .xlsx, etc.)
ASCII Text (.txt)
XML files
HTML source files
PowerShell scripts (.ps1)

You probably stared at that list and immediately began to think through the process for opening, reading, and parsing each file type. You're already staring at the trees, let's get back to the forest.

Here's what you should have thought:

Access the root folder
Look for files in the root folder
Check each sub-folder
Look for files in each sub-folder
Check for the next level of sub-folders
Look for files in each sub-folder
Wash. Rinse. Repeat

An average programmer or scripter (script-writer? script-kiddie? I can never figure out what the proper term is anymore) would get to step 4 and immediately blurt out "Recursion, bitches!" and then quiet down after realizing they just upset everyone else in the library. I happen to be sitting at a table in our "central" public library actually, so that's why I made that connection. I haven't blurted out anything yet though.

Forget recursion for the moment; stay focused on the forest. The trees will come later. And, yes, I know that the preceding sentence is completely illogical, let's keep moving along...

Are you seeing the process yet? If you're following along with my mindless rambling, you're probably nodding in confirmation of understanding that you have to think it through in an orderly fashion. The key here is "orderly" (i.e. sequential. serialized. linear).

Side Note: Yes, I know that there are non-linear, amorphous, parallel and even polymorphic/non-linear/parallel problems to be solved, but this is Dave 101 and that course isn't until next semester (if ever). Context is everything. The context here is: how does writing a script benefit a systems administrator who's never considered writing a script before now.

Pseudo-Code to the Rescue

Most programmers will have likely put there head into both hands and moaned at reading that line above. The prevailing view of pseudo-code is that it's for beginners. Noobs. Training-wheels. And in some respects that's true, but it works. No reasonable programmer or scripter can argue that writing pseudo-code is detrimental to anything besides (A) their ego and (B) their time. I've seen it used by some of the best and brightest programmers when conditions were sufficiently warranted. What did that mean? I mean that when faced with an incredibly complex task to accomplish, pseudo-code can help map out the primary steps and it can bring clarity to the major components of the impending code to be written.

What is Pseudo-Code Anyway?

Rather than explain it, I'll just show it: First, here's a chunk of actual program code...

If Not amx_InstallRegKeyExists ( regKey3 ) Then
   dPrint "info", 0, "AMX is not installed. Proceeding with install sequence."
   If Not amx_PreReqsFound ( arrReqIDs ) Then
      dPrint "info", 0, "Installing AMX prerequisite components..."
      p1 = amx_InstallMissingPrereqs ( arrReqIDs, False, vbMinimized )
   Else
      p1 = True
      If amx_InstallSequence ( arrAppIDs, False, vbMinimized ) = True Then
         p2 = amx_InitRebootSequence()
      Else
         dPrint "error", Err.Number, Err.Description
      End If
   End If
Else
   dPrint "info", 0, "AMX is already installed. No action required."
End If

Now, let's write that in pseudo-code:

If application "AMX" is NOT already installed (then...)

install prerequisite software items
install AMX application
check that everything installed properly
reboot the computer

Otherwise (else...)

nothing to do, exit cleanly

That's it. Pure and simple. Now, the question you may ask is "Hey, dumbass: where do I buy a book on this 'pseudo-code' programming language?". You don't. You can't. There's no such official programming language by that name. It's a term used to describe the writing of program instructions in human-readable terms. It's like a "faux diamond", "pleather jacket", or an "honest politician". It's "fake". The word "pseudo" means "not actually, but having the appearance of...", or fake, so you get the picture.

Master or Commander?

Am I saying that you need to spend a lot of time mastering the art of writing scripts? No. I'm only suggesting that learning how to write even one script successfully will help you in the long run. It's sort of like walking a mile in the computer's shoes. I'm not going to trick you and deny that writing scripts isn't both addictive and lucrative. The more you write the more tasks you'll think of to use them on.

Pointers

Some of the sites I look to for help and inspiration when working on new scripts (if I don't have code laying around from twenty years of tinkering with it):

What's On Your Desktop?

2013-02-22T17:32:00.000-05:00

I got into a brief, but interesting discussion about what applications certain IT folks typically have open at ANY given time of day. More specifically: if you were to guess as to what you'd find if you were to walk up behind various staff members, and see what apps were opened on their desktop(s), how accurate would your prediction be.

Here's what I almost always have open on my dual monitor setup at work:

Google Chrome
Internet Explorer 9
Microsoft Outlook 2010
Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager 2007 admin console
Microsoft SQL Server 2012 Management Studio
Microsoft RSAT: Active Directory Users and Computers
VMware Workstation 9
AdminStudio 11.5 / InstallShield 2012 (depending upon workload)
TextPad 6
Paint.NET
Several CMD consoles

At home, from my laptop (usually on the couch):

Google Chrome
Microsoft Word 2010
Microsoft PowerPoint 2010
Microsoft Outlook 2010
VMware Workstation 9
PowerShell ISE
Several CMD consoles
TextPad 9
Paint.NET
iTunes 11

Why I Haven't Bothered with HTML 5 Much Yet

2013-02-21T14:12:00.003-05:00

I'll let the pictures do the talking this time...

How Old is a Computer?

2013-02-17T14:57:00.002-05:00

Let's pretend it's exam time, mmmkay? Goody! I know you're jumping out of your seat with joy right now, so let's begin.

Scenario: You're at your office desk on Monday morning, giggling out loud while reading the latest Dilbert strip on the web, when your phone suddenly rings. You normally ignore it, but the LCD (ok, maybe you have Lync alerts enabled) shows "CIO" is calling. You sip your coffee/RedBull/Monster/hot tea/etc. and swallow before answering.

You: "Systems Engineering. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. How can I help you?"

CIO: "I need a report that shows how old each computer in our organization is, sorted by the oldest at top. How soon can you have that to me?"

You: "Uhhhhhhhhh....."

You pause and realize you have Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager 2012 SP1 installed and everything is working smoothly, including inventory and reporting. Then you realize that "age" isn't so clear cut of a thing when it comes to computers. To avoid sounding like an idiot, you respond with your usual clever answer:

"I think I may have what you need, but let me verify anyway and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Would that be okay, [sir/ma'am]?"

CIO: "That's fine. I'll need an answer before the board meeting at noon."

*click*

Question: What is the most reliable method of determining the "age" of a given physical computer (server, desktop, laptop, tablet, etc.):

1. The install date of the operating system
2. The BIOS firmware date
3. The dateCreated property of the Active Directory account
4. The Purchase Order (PO) date
5. The manufacture's model sticker on the back/underside of the box
6. The CPU version information
7. The motherboard version information

Answer: __ ?

4. The Purchase Order (PO) date

Unfortunately, options 1, 2, and 3 are easily changed by routine processes in the environment. Option 5 isn't accessible from a programmatic (e.g. WMI, SNMP, etc.) perspective. Options 6 and 7 don't necessarily indicate an aggregate "date" on which the computer began "life" (whatever that's defined as being).

That leaves option 4. If your purchase order and invoicing system is online (rather than paper), and you have the means to tap into its database, you could run some queries and get what the CIO needs. If the database is linkable to the Configuration Manager site database, you can do some SQL "joins" to leverage the goods on both sides of the aisle. This makes for an easy CIO-pleasing result.

If your PO system is paper-based, or isn't accessible to running custom reports, well, you may be shit-out-of-luck. But all is not lost! If you stop and think about who was responsible for requesting the shitty, inefficient PO system for the organization, and that person is not on your list of friends, it could be an opportunity to play the office politics game and toss out one of those "See! I told ya so!" cards and call for a show of hands. Then again, you may simply be shit-out-of-luck, in which case, you might want to finish your drink, take a deep, slow, meditative breath, and call the CIO back with the not-so-good news.

It's surprising, to me anyway, how often this situation arises. A "computer" device isn't as monolithic as a human in some respects, which may sound really strange and ironic. A human has a single "birth date", which can be verified via a birth certificate, passport, military I.D., or driver's license. A computer starts off with a duality of hardware + software, and even then, some of the hardware isn't so hard-coded (firmware updates). If only computers had a singular, reliable, consistent "birth certificate". Imagine what the little inked foot prints might look like. :)

Book Prices, Obama-Care, and Meteorites

2013-02-16T15:27:00.001-05:00

What do these three things have in common? I have no idea. But I was thinking about blaming the latter two for why I had to raise the prices on two of my Amazon e-Books: The Visual LISP Developer's Bible, 2011 Edition, and the original Visual LISP Developer's Bible (2003). I raised each by $1.00 (USD) to help offset the overhead of supporting my four kids (yes, four, go ahead and joke), who all live at home. I admit it: I slept through Sex-Ed too often, but I did pay attention when they talked about female anatomy. That has to count for something. Four? (ba-da-bing!)

I tried changing the locks, moving and wearing disguises, but they found me anyway. I'm kidding. Although, the idea has crossed my mind a few times. Anyhow, the prices went up from $6.99 to $7.99, and $3.99 to $4.99, respectively. I'm sure that will piss off some potential customers, but as the saying goes: You can't please all of the people all of the time, but you can always please yourself (oh, hey! I won't go there).

Red Alerts for Bad Programming - Part 1

2013-02-15T17:23:00.004-05:00

Even now in 2013, it often seems like certain aspects of our "civilized world" haven't evolved very much, if at all. I'm still amazed at what non-technical folks are willing to put up with from so-called (usually self-proclaimed) "technical professional" people. So, in order to help the non-technical peeps a little bit, I thought I'd offer a list of things to watch out for when dealing with the geeks that want their money. This is going to have to be a multi-part series, so this is "Part 1" to kick things off.

Part 1 - Wading Into the Cesspool of Contracting-Out Work

Knowing What You Want

If you don't know what you're looking to hire someone for, holy cow, you are in for a dangerous ride! Don't let that sinking, helpless feeling consume you and sway you into thinking/believing that you can trust the person you plan to hire to help you find what you really want. And please don't confuse this with the scenario where you've been working with someone long enough already to have some trust and faith in what they recommend. I'm not talking about that situation. I'm talking about the initial engagement, your first meeting or first encounter, with the person(s) you are considering to pay to solve one of your business challenges.

Even if you know next-to-nothing about applications, software, web development, web design or any of the techno-babble-mumbo-jumbo, you have Google. You have Bing! and Yahoo! and a bazillion web sites available to you to help you find what you want. There are millions of articles, blogs and eBooks to help you educate yourself on everything from the most general aspects, down to the insanely granular minutiae and everything in between. There's no excuse in this age of the Internet to remain ignorant about something you're about to shell out hard-earned money for.

Basically, the more you become familiar about the things you are looking to have done for you, the more likely you are to be able to:

Ask intelligent questions and get meaningful, understandable answers
Communicate your ideas within the context of the limitations of the technologies involved
Be better-prepared to thwart bullshit schemes and scams
Intuitively relate certain aspects of the project with complexity and cost impacts
Impress others at social gatherings

If you don't know what HTML or XML are, good places to start are W3Schools (www.w3schools.com), or About.com, or but those are just two out of a million useful web sites that offer free, yet incredibly helpful information and examples. If your business challenge is worth paying your hard-earned money to solve, it's worth you investing a little time to become intelligent about the ways that challenge can be solved. (for the record, I have no relationship of any kind with any of the links mentioned above, nor do I reap any benefit from you going to their sites, other than that awesome, glowing feeling of knowing that I possibly helped another person learn something new).

Communicating What You Want

Check this out. This is a scenario I personally witnessed more than a dozen times in the past five (5) years alone: Customer sits down with a web developer to discuss building a new web site. Customer lists the following "requirements" for the developer to accommodate:

Must be able to update content to add "News", "Events" and photos.
Must have a catchy, eye-grabbing animated graphic on the main "home" page.
Must have their official company logo in the banner on every page.
Must have a link to "Contact Us"

Developer nods in agreement, slides the SOW across the table, then the contract. Both parties sign off and the developer heads off to code away.

A few weeks later the developer says "All done! Here's your new web site!" It looks all spiffy and has the official company logo and name on the banner. It has the catchy, Flash-enabled animated graphic on the home page. There are links to "News", "Events" and "Images", and it has a "contact us" link.

The customer starts poking around, smiles and strokes the final check payment (or clicks the PayPal invoice link, etc.). After a few days of continued poking, the customer discovers that they can't seem to find a way to enter or upload "News" items, "Events" or upload photos. And the "Contact Us" link simply opens a "mailto://" link, rather than a web form with some additional options to help categorize the nature of the contact request. The customer feels somewhat frustrated and contacts the developer.

The developer reiterates the list of "requirements", and categorically insists each was satisfied according to the wording. The customer then realizes they never included details about "WHO" could upload content, or "HOW". Nor were there any specifics provided about the contact request feature. Now the developer insists that, since the original terms were met, and paid for, subsequent requests to update content would constitute additional work (service requests), and additional fees would apply. The customer is dismayed and pissed off.

Who's to blame?

You can blame the developer for not asking more thorough questions during the requirements discussion. You could also blame the customer for not stating their requirements more accurately and concisely. You would be correct on both, actually.

You might think this is a fictional scenario, but I have met so many clients that have had this EXACT same situation occur, that it's become part of my standard requirements interview topics. Additional questions to ask (and, this is by no means an exhaustive or complete list) could include:

Who exactly (individual names) will need permissions to change things on the site?
What specific things/features/content should each person have permission to modify?
On your contact request form, what kinds of information do you want to request from the submitter?
Do most of your customers surf the web from a computer or from a phone or tablet?
What is the target demographic or your intended audience?

The list I use is actually around thirty questions, but it varies by the nature of each engagement. Other topics include search features, SEO, advertisements, visitor tracking, types of content, mapping and charting, multimedia and streaming, and more. The point isn't that you try to ask every possible question, but to ask every possible RELEVANT question pertaining to the task or project at hand.

Too Quick/Eager to Start Working

You might think this is a good thing, but in the context of providing a quality, comprehensive service to customers, a good professional will be patient (or, as patient as YOU are anyway). The most important step in the initial phase of a new engagement is gathering requirements. You might think that's boring or unimportant, but oh boy.

Let me put this into a different context: A PRE-OP visit with a surgeon. You say something like "I want to lose weight. Quickly!". The doc says "No problem, I'll sedate you and get eighty pounds off of you in an hour.". You jump up and scream "Holy shit! When do we start!?". He grabs the scalpel and gas mask and asks you to lay back on the table. If you did that, you might wake up with both your legs amputated. Yes, you may have discarded eighty pounds, but that probably would NOT be what you had in mind.

You can smirk and think "yeah, well, that's a medical scenario, not a computer scenario." Here's what I'd say to that: If you woke up and found half of your business-critical systems no longer worked because you accepted a quick offer without reviewing the details and signing off on every single line item, well, how do you think you'd feel then? Somewhat like having your business legs amputated, probably. But, how would your boss feel about that? If you're self-employed it could be a catastrophic mistake. Yeah, you got your shiny new web application, but oops? Entering information from the new app seems to be wiping out information in your business-critical CRM database, and your most recent backup is missing a lot of recent changes. Dang!

Be specific. Be nit-picky. Be detailed and meticulous about what you want, and what you need (and do not ever confuse those two!). If you want rounded, magenta, 4px wide corners on the top banner of your application / web site, then spell it out. Better yet: provide an example. Draw it up in PowerPoint or draw it on paper and take a picture of it. Whatever. If you don't document exactly what you want, don't expect to get exactly what you want. Which brings us back to the part about Knowing What You Want.

Coming Soon...

Seven Warning Signs of Highly Dysfunctional Programming. Don't worry, it's not going to be repeat/rip-off of this ancient post. Check back soon! It should be a fun read! :-)

Bullshitilizer 2013 Ultimate Edition

2013-02-11T05:00:00.000-05:00

If you ask anyone who has worked in a large office (i.e. corporate) environment, whether or not they've found themselves in a situation where they had to change course, in mid-discussion, to avoid getting caught wasting valuable "company time", they will usually nod in agreement. Standing in the doorway, having a heated discussion about any (or all) of the following topics:

Last night's sports game
Recent (or upcoming) episodes of "The Walking Dead"
Gun Control
Abortion
Immigration
Religion
Politics
Best TV SitCom
Best late night talk show
Gadgets (cameras, phones, etc.)
Hot office babes (if you have any) and what they're wearing today

Suddenly, the CEO/CFO/CIO/CTO/CSO/CMO/CBO/CAO/COO/CXO turns the corner, with a dower look on his/her face. The expression says "I'm ready to fire the next bastard I see shooting the shit in the hallway!!!"

What do you do?

Fear not! I have a handy list of conversation jump-starters to pull out just for those pants-crapping moments. But there's an important catch here:

You can't just switch conversation gears without being careful to select a topic that logically fits with your job role. In other words, if you are a Network engineer, you don't want start jaw-jacking about Git, or UAT, especially if the "suit" passing by knows what your job role is. So I've grouped them by job role to help you out.

For each functional group/department/team/division headlined below, use one of the phrases listed beneath it. Each is intended to jumpstart a new conversation, but will only work if your accomplice is clued-in beforehand, unless he/she is astute enough to pick up on the hidden agenda and can improvise along with you. And remember: These will only work if you keep a straight face.

Applications Development

"I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Applications Support

"I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Help Desk

"Did you see that call about Outlook Inbox synchronization this morning?"
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Information Security (aka "InfoSec")

"I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Network Engineering

"I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Project Management

"I was looking over the changes in the second review, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Systems Engineering

"I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
"I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
"Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
"Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Good luck!

The Next Book

2013-02-08T23:42:00.002-05:00

I have given up on the book-topic survey, as far as relying on the votes as a means for determining which course to pursue. The votes are just too scattered, with no clear "winner". (I said "scattered".. heh heh. Ok, too easy an not clever enough).

(do e-ebooks require e-glasses too?)

Anyhow, I decided to go with the book sales numbers to point me in the direction to go. Based on two months of numbers (December 2012 - February 2013), the topics appear to fall in place as follows (from most to least popular):

Software packaging and deployment
Visual LISP Programming
AutoCAD Network Administration and Packaging/Deployment
IT Project Management

Shoving this through a secondary logic-filter (somewhat like processing beer through a Randall), hopefully this arrives at a clear direction. Here goes...

The responses from my recent blog post about Software Packaging were unexpectedly good.
Visual LISP is a dying language, unfortunately. It was fun while it reigned supreme, and more fun when I actually worked with it.
I'm caught up on 2013 network deployments for Autodesk products
I pretty much covered what I wanted to in IT Project Management

So 1 + 1 = 1, errr, uhhh, what I mean is that I think I will follow up "Grinding Gears" with a newer/better-tasting/less-filling/no-wait-I-meant-MORE-filling version, focusing on Software Repackaging and Testing. I think that makes sense. If you strongly disagree, share your thoughts (and if you own a copy of any of my books, and you haven't posted a rating or feedback on Amazon yet, please do so? I really depend on that to help me focus on what you want me to write about and what needs more work).

The Not-So Fine Art of Software Re-Packaging and Deployment

2013-02-06T23:22:00.001-05:00

New and Improved / Amended Version!

Note: Thanks to Mikko Järvinen for reminding me about "Uninstall Testing", also known as "Package Removal Testing" or "PRT". I added the changes below in blue (just FYI).

I had to prepare the following for an internal FAQ document to help our "customers" better understand the ramifications, and pontifications, with respect to processing a request to have software packaged (re-packaged) for deployment to their computers. It's a work in progress, but this is where it stands right now...

Overview

Software can be installed in a variety of ways, but when it comes to installing software on a large number of computers in the shortest time, AND with the highest level of consistency and reliability, it requires a little more work.

Unfortunately, software vendors do not follow a common playbook when it comes to packaging their products for installation. Some products are packaged in a way that makes it easy to install them using automation tools. Most are not. When software is not packaged in a way that lends itself to being installed easily, it often requires "repackaging".

Packaging vs. Re-packaging

Packaging is the process whereby a software product is compiled into an original installation package. This is often a single ".exe" or "msi" file, but in many cases it results in a collection of many folders and files. An installer that comes as a single ".exe" file is referred to as an "Executable installer". An installer that comes as a single ".msi" file is referred to as a "Windows installer package".

Executable installer packages are the most common. These are the familiar .exe packages (e.g. setup.exe). They often provide a built-in mechanism for launching them along with a list of options or settings to pre-configure the installation without having to step through a series of dialog input forms. In many cases, this includes the option for running it in "silent" mode. "Silent" mode allows the installation to run without displaying any forms or prompting for user input. This is essential for mass deployment using automation tools such as Microsoft Configuration Manager or Group Policy.

Repackaging is the process of taking the smelly crap that some vendors hand you, and mooshing it up into a new, less-smelly ball of goodness that can be installed "silently" and pre-configured, just the way your precious customers are begging for. There are no limits to what qualifies as "repackaging". It can be wrapping the installation parameters within a script file (pick your script language, it really doesn't matter that much), or it can be squeezing it through the meat-grinder of something like InstallShield, or AdminStudio, to make a whole new installation binary (i.e. a new .EXE, or a Windows Installer .MSI file, etc.). I won't even bother with discussing .ZAP files because I just ate.

Did I just say that it doesn't really matter what scripting language you use? Well, that's sort of true. I don't recommend you just pick a scripting language without considering how it will fit into what the rest of your organization uses. Even more important, you need to consider what the environment will support (if you do everything in one language, you might find out some of the target devices don't support it).

Complications and Time Factor

One of the most commonly asked questions about packaging and re-packaging is "How long does it take?" The answer is always "It depends.". No two software installations work exactly the same. Because of this, it is impossible to predict how long it will take to get a workable unattended installation package prepared and tested. Some of the variables that play a critical role in determining the time it takes to re-package an installation include:

The original installation package format and integrity
Vendor licensing and activation requirements
Removal or Upgrade of older versions
Checking for, and resolving prerequisites
Per-machine vs Per-user configuration settings
Operating System dependencies
Business-specific configuration settings
Vendor compliance with Microsoft's recommended guidelines
Client/Server dependencies

This is not an exhaustive list, and each of these can greatly impact the difficulty with re-packaging the installation. In some cases, it can render the re-packaging process ineffective, requiring manual installation and configuration; something we try to avoid at all costs.

Other factors that should be factored in:

The relative chemical stimulant consumption rate of the under-paid coders hired by the vendor (on contract, of course).
The address of the mobile trailer they call an "office"
Whether they include "Grateful Dead Reunion Tour" dates as paid holidays
When you say "InstallShield" and they respond with "What's that?"
When you really have to explain to the vendor what a "silent install" is
When you call their "support line" and reach the owner/president/senior architect/coder guy every time.

I'm sure I could add more, but I'm too tired right now. Let's move on...

Testing and Validation

Once an installation package has been developed, the next step in the process is to test it. In most cases, this is done by using "test" computers whereby a designated user will "remote" into the test computer from their own location and test the software installation. This eliminates the need for customers to travel around to physically sit down at the test computer and allows greater flexibility with scheduling.

In most cases, a virtual machine "test computer" will suffice just fine. It doesn't matter what you prefer to work with (VMware, VirtualPC, VirtualBox, etc.) as long as it works and users can remote into it and do what they do (crash and break things, usually).

In some cases, usually when special hardware devices are required to be used with the software, it may be necessary for the customer to physically sit down at the test computer and log on, so they can use the hardware devices properly.

The process whereby customers test the software prior to it being deployed into production, is referred to as "User Acceptance Testing", or UAT. But be careful, as UAT is *NOT* the entire testing process. It's just one piece of it.

The most basic testing process goes something like this:

Install the application using the normal means, on an isolated test computer. This helps the repackager get familiar with how the application "normally" installs, and what options and settings it provides along the way to completion. This is sometimes called "Installation Analysis Testing" or IAT. It's also equally important to use this step for documenting the "footprint" an application installation leaves on a computer. Having a complete list of changes it makes to the Registry, File System, Services and security environment, are all crucial pieces of information. This is required for making sure that you build an uninstall package that does a thorough job of cleaning up when the application is removed.
After repacking, use the new repackaged package (a mouthful, sorry), to do the install to verify that it (A) installs properly, even silently, and (B) launches and functions properly after installation. This is sometimes called "Initial Package Testing" or IPT. After running the IPT, it is vital that you confirm that the installed application functions properly. This also adds a new dimension to the "footprint" by virtue of launching and using the application, which often initiates a chain of post-installation configuration processes that modify additional things in the Registry, File System, Services, and so forth. This is where a wrench often comes flying in from left field during the uninstall testing (IRT), so be prepared to make some adjustments to your uninstall package.
After the repackaged package has passed IPT, it's time to load it up into your deployment/distribution system (i.e. Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager) - (and you thought I couldn't string a bunch of words together into a longer name than that, pffft!). Once loaded into your deployment system, the next step is to target a test computer to verify that the deployment system delivers the installation package, and installs it successfully. This is sometimes called "Package Deployment Testing" or PDT.
After PDT, it's time to go to User Acceptance Testing, or UAT. In most situations, you can use the same targeted test computer from the PDT without have to do another deployment, but the choice is yours (and varies by individual circumstances).
Once UAT is complete, you should be ready to remove the safety lock and fire with both barrels. In other words, you should be ready to go to Production Deployment.

Some important notes pertaining to the above gibberish:

Steps 2, 3 and 4 should be performed on a test computer for each type of target configuration. In other words, if you will be expected to deploy this to Windows XP, Vista, Windows 7 and Windows 8 computers, you should definitely perform each test on an appropriate test computer. And don't forget that 32-bit and 64-bit configurations add another layer of complexity (and testing).
If your target user base does not (generally) have local Administrative permissions on their computer device, make sure you package and test with that expectation. And more importantly: Be sure to have a user account logon and launch the application the FIRST TIME after being deployed, so that it will behave as it would on the other 99.99% of the target clients (unless you expect to walk around, or remote into, every computer after the deployment - which would probably suck).
Useful tools in your arsenal for developing installation packages are InstallShield and AdminStudio. But in addition to their primary capabilities, another useful aspect of AdminStudio is to use the Repackager "snapshot" feature to help compare "before" and "after" system states when doing your Uninstall development and testing. For example, you can take a "before" snapshot, install and run the application, and then take an "after" snapshot. The results of comparing both snapshots will reveal what aggregate changes were made to the system, thereby helping to shine some light on how to develop an effective package for removing the application completely and cleaning up behind it.

The level of testing you employ will depend upon the nature of your environment obviously. The smaller and less complex an environment is, the less likely you will need to perform as many phases of testing. But it never hurts to test more than you think you should. It usually saves you from yourself later on (if your poorly-tested, bad packaging output lands on 10,000 devices over a weekend, your Monday will very likely suck ass indeed).

Deployment

Once a software installation package has been tested and approved by the customer, the IT department can then begin to deploy it to the requested devices. The method we use is an automated deployment tool named Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager.

Final Thoughts

Software Packaging and Repackaging (two distinct processes) are a combination of science and art. While based upon technology (science), there is a lot of human intuition (art) involved as well. If you expect to master these things using one or the other alone, you will be in for a tough time. Also, be prepared to consume additional quantities of caffeine.

5 Shocking Truths About Politics and Social Media

2013-01-14T00:16:00.000-05:00

I hate politics. Despise is probably a more suitable word. Anyone who wants to run for public office should not be trusted. Ben Franklin was right. Public servants should be drafted, kidnapped and dragged, kicking and screaming, to their office of duty. But it seems the American public has become deluded with their own tiny subjective views of the world, mostly due to the crushing influence of mass media, social media, and things are unraveling at an increasing pace. The new meme is something like "everyone has a voice, so everyone has meaning" which is bullshit. When everyone talks at once, the terms is "noise". I should know, noise is what I usually make.

It took less than 24 hours for people to start arguing in public forums about gun laws and gun ownership following the shooting in Newtown, CT. That might not be a record, but damn if I can recall a similar situation in recent memory where the secondary and tertiary debates kicked in, at full throttle, in such short time. And the debates were not just in one or two places, but everywhere: Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, LinkedIn, TV news, cable news, news web sites, radio station call-ins, office kitchens, PTA meetings, even grocery store check-out lines. Conversations could be heard everywhere, with the usual Red Bull-infused emotional urgency about government taking away guns-this, and government restricting ammo-that. Forget about the kids and teachers being shot to death in their classrooms. That's not important. Step aside: we have more important matters to argue over.

(record-scratch sound goes here) - time to stop for a moment and recognize a few realizations:

1 - You Bitch a Lot, But Have you Really Done Anything?

Honestly. Seriously. No, I really mean it: When was the last time you contacted your Congressman or Senator (or any public servant you voted into office)? Was it in the last year? Do you even know who your public servants are? Is their phone number stored in your mobile phone? You may continually open up and let loose with a double-barrel opinion blast on Facebook and Twitter, but does that really do anything? This leads to...

2 - Your Congressman/Senator Doesn't Give a Shit About Your Facebook Rants

Do you really think posting your concerns, beliefs and values on Facebook is making a real difference? Playing the same song for the same group of friends, over and over again. Does it make any real changes to society as a whole? Do you think your Congressman or Senator reads your Facebook posts? Do you even believe they hire someone to do that for them? But you have 400 "Likes" on your comment about how much you hate so-and-so. Surely they must have read it by now, right? Even though you "Like" your Congressman or Senator, do they really follow you back? This leads to...

3 - You Probably Don't Really Know Your Congressman or Senator

Have you met them? Have you spent a few hours with them? Have you had dinner or lunch with them? Seen a movie together? Served in the military with them or worked aside them at a previous job? Chances are high that EVERYTHING you think you "know" about that person is based on what you've seen or heard on TV or the radio. Don't assume that just because your Senator has a really cool-looking photo-op with Wayne LaPierre, replete with cool guns in each hand, that he/she shares your general political views (let alone your priorities therein).

You probably feel confident that the "mass media" is biased and skews information to suit their agenda, but how do you know they're not also skewing the stuff you've been swallowing as "good" information? Unless you spend as much time with your public officials as you do your neighbors, how can you assume you "know" them at all?

4 - In The Battle Between [you] and [FAT] Corporate Bank Accounts, Guess Who Wins?

Your Congressman or Senator is probably sitting with a corporate lobbyist right this very minute. Imagine you're the Congressman and your secretary buzzes your phone to say,

"Mr. Congressman, John Doe from your district is on line 4. He says it's important and wants to talk about gun control."

You say, "What's my calendar look like?"

She replies, "You have a meeting in fifteen minutes with the NRA rep about funding your campaign, and at 1:00 you have a meeting with the Walmart rep. about building a new distribution center in your district.".

You say, "Uhhh, which one of them has promised the most funding for my PAC?"

She replies, "God, you're such an asshole."

You almost choke on your Martini, but manage to reply with something like "...and that's why I'm a Senator and you're not. Hee hee haw haw (cough-cough, snort)"

Guess who gets the "I'm sorry, but the Congressman is tied up today, can you call back sometime next year?" message.

This leads to...

5 - Your Federal Government Doesn't Work FOR You Anymore

To work FOR YOU means they would have to hire a lot more workers than they already have. This is because they would have to form a division of people for each of the major segments of their constituency. Right now, they're just barely staffed to satisfy the needs of big corporations and defense contractors. Those are the sugar daddies that bankroll their campaign costs. They have to work hard to take care of those folks, which occupies all their time of course. In between, they might squeeze in some time for a photo-op at a local children's hospital, or a ribbon-cutting at a new pet shelter, then get some photos of them looking serious and working hard to use for their upcoming campaign. They don't have time for you. But they do appreciate that vote you cast for them.

So that's that. I know I sound pessimistic, but really, that's my optimistic view of this whole charade.

Summarizing my Conclusions

Let's take a slightly more pragmatic view of what it might be like to be a professional politician...

You won the election and after you shower off the champagne and caviar debris, you clean up and pack your stuff, drive up to the state (or national) capital, move into your new residence, then move into your new office. You spend days learning all the staff members, where the bathrooms are, the cafeteria, the nearest bars, the best parking, the supply rooms, the nearest gym, and what kind of wi-fi services are available. Then you start getting the calls from the lobbyists, you know, the people you were elected to serve, and your contacts list begins to explode with names and numbers.

Then you start having meetings. The first few months are nothing but meetings with committees, PAC groups, lobbyists, civic groups, various "special interest" groups, Union delegates, corporate representatives (slippery definition on "lobbyists" here), and so on. You check the Inbox for mail, but all there is are junk items and lobbyist packets. You check your e-mail Inbox and the same stuff is there also.

After six months, you've voted on a few bills and supported a few motions to promote a few others. You've joined a few new committees and attended their meetings. You've voted on some proposals/propositions. You go back and check your inboxes, but there's still nothing new. You decide that must mean you're doing a good job. Your constituents MUST be happy with what you're doing, or else they'd tell you. Right?

After a year, your non-committee meeting schedule is filled with lobbyists (Walmart, Boeing, SAIC, IBM, Toyota, GM, Ford, HP, Cox Communications, Verizon, AT&T, Comcast, Pfizer, GSK, Colgate-Palmolive, Kellogg, Sears, Kroger, Food Lion, McDonald's, Pepsi, Coca-Cola, Astro-Zeneca, Target, Monsanto, ADM, Dominion Resources, Con-Edison, Phillip-Morris, Intel, Motorola, Mattel, 3M, Samsung, Sony, Nissan, Mitsubishi, Bosch, LG, Amazon, Facebook, Google, InstaGram, Twitter, FourSquare, blah blah blah blah blah), and all the local business leaders from "back home". In between you manage to squeeze in a few minutes for your spouse and kids, some golf (maybe), a movie, a trip somewhere. But you have to be back in time to show your face, and your newest suit, on Fox News, or CNN.

Then their "team" of "public relations" goons makes some phone calls with talking points, marketing tags, slogans, and whatnot to offer the Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, NBC, CBS, ABC and HLN folks. They open up, relax their throat muscles, dislocate their jaws, and swallow every drop of that Kool Aid and go to work slathering it with sub-titles, splash announcements and a sprinkle of Computer Graphics. A few hundred thousands dollars from the PAC fund helps get their "message" out in front of the other guy on five channels, but they couldn't match the bribe, oops, funding, that their opponent pitched to the other five channels.

They shovel a train-load of made-up statistics, false accusations, outright lies and meaningless, vague claims of "fixing" things and having a "plan" for this or that, and watch the polls until they get the key indicator figures to show their spewage has taken hold and the public is believing it. In between makeup touch-up, you work with your strategists, who school you in the fine art of talking vague and making serious statements that really mean nothing at all.

It's a tough job, but someone has to do it (part-time, of course, and get paid for taking the rest of the time off). You think it's easy working a job for two or four years, and having to be forced to accept a paycheck for the rest of your life, even after you've left the job? Holy cow! I can't imaging how tough that must be.

We vote them in, or their so-called "replacements", and then become disillusioned when they, just like the last time, don't deliver on their so-called "promises". Only thing is, each campaign cycle is getting more and more refined, and the candidates are getting better and better at wrapping their false promises in vague wrapping paper, so you can't even tell what their promises are really promising anymore. That way you're not sure if they broke their promises, or not. You go out and vote again, firmly convinced this time it's going to be different. It's going to be better. And then you discover that your vote really didn't put the president in office, the Electoral College vote did. It stings a little. But if you drink enough, you find that it's really not so bad.

This machine we call "Democracy" is working just fine.

Yeah, I'm just a little cynical. Still, I wouldn't trade living in America for anywhere else (unless I win the Lottery, then we'll have another discussion).

Half-Assed Review: Dollar Shave vs. Gillette Disposables

2013-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! I figured I would start off 2013 with something a little different, and I thought it would be interesting to make my first post at the the zero hour of 2013. And besides, I needed a distraction from writing a bunch of techno-babble articles, and watching the same tired ball drop again on TV, so here goes...

Battle of the Blades

I recently signed up for the $1.00/month, base level "Humble Twin" membership plan with DollarShaveClub.com (hereinafter abbreviated as "DSC"). After the first month I think I have enough shave-time to do a comparison review. I'll break it down into a few basic categories, and digress into my usual nauseating spewage of quasi-rationale. Let's cut to it, shall we? Har Har... :)

I've been a faithful customer of the Gillette Custom Plus disposable razor brand for years. I've also used many others, from Schick and Wilkinson to generic crap, as well as electric razors from Braun, Norelco and Remington, among others. I have a face that needs a daily shave, even if I find the routine boring and (mentally) irritating.

Disclaimer

I have not been compensated, endorsed, coerced, threatened, or influenced in any way whatsoever by any manufacturer, vendor, re-seller, or anyone besides myself as it pertains to anything contained in this article. I have not contacted any other parties in regards to this article or any product mentioned herein. I am not a professional product tester, although I have been known to pretend to play one on my imaginary TV show.

For clarity: The images shown herein show the Gillette Custom Plus with the green handle, and the Dollar Shave Club product with the silver and black handle.

The Mechanical Aspects

The first thing you'll notice is that the Gillette product is essentially a "uni-form" assembly, with no (easily) removable parts, whereas the DSC "humble twin" product is a little bulkier, heftier, and heavier, with permanent handle, using interchangeable blades. Basically, the "humble twin" is very similar in design to more expensive hand-held razors, such as Gillette Mach 3 or the Schick Quattro Pro. Aside from that, the geometry, and size, of these two products are noticeably different.

Shaving Head Angle

The DSC form has a more shallow deflection angle with respect to the "normal" shaving surface and the portion of the handle to which it is directly attached. Put another way: The angle between the main handle grip and the segment that attaches to the blade assembly is more acute with the DSC model, and more shallow with the Gillette model. The DSC has a sharper bend.

Shaving Head Design

The shaving head itself of the DSC model, is smaller in surface area, with a different proportional aspect ratio (side-to-side is wider but the front-to-back width is narrower). The outer edges are not as smooth and actually protrude above the shaving surface more than the head on the Gillette product. The pivot range is also roughly 20-25 degrees "back" from that of the Gillette product, which affects the angle required to hold the handle for a comfortable shave.

Figure 1 - Pseudo-scientific diagrammatic mumbo-jumbo stuff

Handle Design

The handle of the DSC is about 5% larger and 10% heavier than the Gillette model, due to having more metal content in the handle and a bulkier shaving head attachment mechanism. The weight balance is also much more towards the shaving head.

The Shaving Experience

Admittedly, this is a subjective comparison in most respects, but I will try to highlight the more objective, measurable differences. The smaller shaving head, and relatively sharper edges, of the DSC product make for a much less comfortable shave due to the outer edges focusing pressure against the skin in more narrow points of contact. Also, because of the edges protruding more in front of the blade surface plane, the shave is not as close to the skin. This results in having to take many more passes over the same area to get as close of a shave as the Gillette. The net effect is a bit more skin irritation when achieving a comparable result with the Gillette product.

Figure 2 - Relative shaving head sizes and angles

Figure 3 - Relative head designs

The Cost

The DSC base level "Humble Twin" plan is advertised at $1.00 per month. However with shipping it comes to $3.00 per month, or $36.00 annually, which includes 5 blades per week, or roughly 260 blades per year. The Gillette Custom Plus sells in a package of 52 at Sam's Club, for $23.88*. If the Gillette blades each last a full week, that equates to a monthly cost of $1.99.

From my personal use, I would say that both products last about a full week per blade-set each. If that's fairly accurate, then the cost comparison leans in favor of the Gillette Custom Plus by a savings of $1.01 per month, or $12.12 annually. Yes, I know that's a freaky number (12/12), but I'm not that superstitious, I just act that way.

Figure 4 - comparison of size and bulkiness

Final Thoughts

I know this is subjective and based mostly on anecdotal mumbo-jumbo, but I have to pick the Gillette Custom Plus. I really hoped the Dollar Shave Club razor would win, because they're the David against the Goliath of the shaving industry that includes Gillette, Schick, Bic, and upstart ShaveMate. At least that's if I am to believe the touching cards they ship with each pack of blades. I also am a sucker for clever, funny commercials, especially when they star the company founder front and center.

But it's really all about saving money without sacrificing comfort and quality. And as cheesy and overused as that phrase already is, it's not only true, but applicable here as well. For all the talk we Americans give about "buying American", when it comes to stocking up on our kids' school supplies, I'll take the 3-ring binder sold at Walmart for $2.99 over the 3-ring binder at Joe's Home-made School Supplies for $4.99, even though Joe makes his in the shed out behind his house and Walmart ships theirs in from China. The main reason is that I'm not buying just one of them, but three or four, per child, and I have 4 children to equip (or at least I did, until the older two graduated and started into college).

And besides, that binder shipped from China fed a lot of Americans along the way. From the docks where it was offloaded, to the trucks that transported it around, and the forklift drivers and loaders at the warehouses that stored it, to the store clerks to un-pack it and arranged it on the shelves, to the clerks that rang me up at the front. And don't forget that Joe can go to work for Walmart if he wants to. I'm guessing that with the chump change they spend on the 11-year old Chinese factory worker who assembled it, that the majority of that $2.99 went to everyone in between, including Walmart, where it helped plump the wallets of a few golfers in the boardroom as well. 3-ring binders or disposable razors, same difference.

What was it Gordon Gecko said?

Conclusion

Am I sentencing Dollar Shave Club to an eternity of dishonor? No way. I will keep an eye on their terms of service and product line and make my decision when it looks like they have something to change my mind again. I'm not one to commit a business to the electric chair unless they've done me wrong, and Dollar Shave Club has not done me wrong as far as I know. I'm just not overwhelmed by their product "right now", but who's to say what they will do in the future?

Holy crap! I sure digressed on this one, didn't I? Sometimes I amaze even my simple self.

Skatterbrainz Top Blog Posts of 2012

2012-12-31T23:30:00.000-05:00

I'm taking a tip from the awesome Mr. Jeffery Hicks, (okay, "taking a tip" is code for "i'm being a copycat") and decided to pull a report of the Top 10 posts on my blog site (for January 2012 to December 2012), in order of most-visited to least-visited. Call it vanity. Call it shameless self-indulgence. Call being a typical American. Just don't call me Shirley.

Interesting side note: Google rolled their Analytics engine into Blogger a while back, which was a nice improvement. Except that they dropped a few features during the "upgrade", such as the ability to drag a custom date window on the timeline to filter report results, and the preset option for "Past Year". I've submitted feedback to ask if they might restore those features. I'll keep you posted. And now, on to the show...

Top Ten (10) Most-Visited Posts of 2012:

[10] I Feel That a Feel-Good Feeling Feels Pretty Good
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2012/12/i-feel-that-feel-good-feeling-feels.html

Top Five (5) Visited Posts Since 2008 (aka "All Time"):

[1] Enabling Windows 7 Remote Management via Group Policy (2009)
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2009/08/enabling-windows-7-remote-management.html

[2] Windows 7, MSG.EXE and Group Policy Preferences (2010)
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2010/04/windows-7-msgexe-and-group-policy.html

[3] What Does the AutoCAD "PURGE" Command Do? (2010)
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2010/07/what-does-autocad-command-do.html

[4] Packaging and Deploying Autodesk 2011 Products with Configuration Manager 2007 (2010)
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2010/08/packaging-deployment-autodesk-2011.html

[5] Using PowerShell with Microsoft Access Databases (2009)
http://skatterbrainz.blogspot.com/2009/05/using-powershell-with-ms-access.html

Top 20 Commands Every Windows 7/8 Server 2008 / 2012 Administrator Should Know

2012-12-29T13:40:00.001-05:00

TechRepublic posted a list of "10 Windows 7 Commands Every Administrator Should Know", which is very good, and it includes the following:

sfc
sigverif
driverquery
nslookup
ping
pathping
ipconfig
repair-bde
tasklist
taskkill

I would have combined 9 and 10 with a "/" delimiter and added (at least) "reg.exe". I mean, most administrators use it much more frequently, and with more urgency, than pathping or repair-bde. Not to discount the value of those two, but there are others that really should be included. I guess I would have probably named that list "10 Windows 7 Commands That Would Be Helpful for Administrators To Know". A little longer obviously, so how about "10 neat-o Windows Commands"?

In any case, I know this doesn't fit the "top 10" format, but maybe a "top 20" would be more suitable? I could've just said to open a CMD console and type "HELP" and press Enter. That will display a summary of CLI commands which are all extremely useful in particular situations. But that would be un-administratively lazy of me, so I picked out ten of them to use for my add-on list. For each command, just enter it with a trailing "/?" or "/help" or "-help" or "-?" (Microsoft is so standardized on the dash-or-slash thing).

reg

For adding, editing, deleting, importing, exporting, loading and unloading items in the Registry

cacls / icacls

For viewing and modifying ACL's (security descriptors / permissions settings) on Files and Folders.

regini

For managing ACL's on Registry keys

set

For viewing environment variable assignments, as well as assigning new variable/values

shutdown

For initiating a shutdown, restart or logoff on a local, or remote, computer

netsh

For viewing and managing network adapter and firewall configuration settings

msg

For sending CLI alerts to other users or computers over the network (replaces the older "net send")

schtasks

For viewing and managing (create, modify, enable/disable, delete) Scheduled Tasks

diskpart

For viewing and managing logical disk partitions

systeminfo

For displaying computer properties and configuration settings

Regardless, both lists are worth tucking away in your brain if you "manage" Windows clients and/or servers for a living. Even if you do it as a hobby it's not going to hurt. The list could easily go on and on. I didn't include WMIC or PowerShell, which some would argue are equally, or more, important than these legacy CLI tools.

Prediction Confliction

2012-12-27T21:55:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time since I tried on my alliteration duds, and these two words seemed to fit just about right. So anyhow, as we approach the end of another calendar year (on the Judeo-Christian calendar) I felt it was time to say some stupid things again. Although, this time I'm wrapping it in a blanket of smoked bacon and quasi-intellect to give it that home-cooked goodness.

My Predictions

1. The Anonymous (aka "Wild West Show") Internet will be Dead

What: Eventually, but not that far off, no one will be able to be truly anonymous or impossible to locate when they use the Internet.

When: On or before 2024

Why: The strongest proponents for this are governments and corporations. The only opponents are individuals. Guess who has more money, power, influence and the ability to basically "make it happen"? Lao Tsu (or Sun Tsu?) would've called this an "unstoppable force", but the only potential "immovable objects" are a bunch of people on their couches with a remote control in their hands. I know you're going to say "but, but, people will rise up and ...", and I'll finish that sentence with "...succumb to the boiling frog syndrome". It won't happen abruptly, but gradually over time. The way all diabolical plans work best.

2. American Domestic Violence will Rise

What: Incidents of Americans attacking other Americans based on religious, ethnic, economic, political and racial differences will rise in frequency.

When: From now through ...?

Why: it was obvious from the most recent election that the public is growing more polarized. It is also apparent that the major press outlets feel they gain from helping to foment this growing divide, possibly from the increased "news" content that is created from the results. Creating news is more appealing than having to wait for it. I'm not even referencing the recent spate of shootings (Newtown,CT, or the fire-fighters, or the cops in Kansas or Washington State), just general public angst and polarization will be enough to drive this evil crap higher. Add to that the rising popularity of energy drinks, violence on TV and movies, and you have a little gasoline for the fire. Enjoy!

3. Electric Vehicles will Finally Take Hold

What: once the right market forces get fully behind it, pure-electric vehicles will become commonplace alongside existing combustion engine and hybrid vehicles. And not just four-wheeled products.

When: On or before 2024

Why: Once the corporate players figure out a good profit angle it will be a no-brainer for shareholders.

4. TV "Reality" Shows will Gain Equal Status with Movies

What: Award shows will emerge that are devoted entirely to the so-called "reality" shows on cable and satellite TV (okay, they're on the major networks also). But, more importantly, the public will view them as being of equal "quality" and "value" as cinematic movies and premium cable movies as well. They will hand out awards that will be of equal status with the Oscar, the Emmy, and the Grammy.

When: Within five (5) years, probably sooner.

Why: We are becoming dumber by the minute.

We will have to check back in this posting in 10 years to see if I was right. The low-risk aspect of this is I'm guessing nobody will remember this in 2024, an I could be dead and gone anyway.

What do you think? Am I completely off my rocker? Post your thoughts in the Comment box below...

I Feel That a Feel-Good Feeling Feels Pretty Good

2012-12-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else remember the feeling in the air after 9/11? I'm talking about the public social mood in America (it might have been felt elsewhere, but I don't know, since I don't travel outside the US). People seemed to be genuinely more polite and courteous to others everywhere I went, for about two weeks. Then it dried up and we went back to being our normal crusty selves. At least it's little head pops up during Christmas, even if only for a few days. It would be nice to see it stick around longer. I apologize if that comes across as a bit preachy. I'm as crusty and annoying as any American can be, so I know it has to start with me, myself and I. I'm going to try.

Survey Time: Choose Your Next Book Topic

2012-12-25T15:58:00.002-05:00

Looking over the sales figures for the books I have posted on Amazon, it's difficult to determine what I should focus on going forward. The best-selling book, by far, is The Visual LISP Developer's Bible, 2011 Edition. The problem with this however, is that I haven't had the opportunity to work with Visual LISP since 2011. My career path has taken me away from that type of work (AutoCAD customization), so I don't feel that I can do it justice anymore. And besides, as I've said (or hinted at) many times before: Autodesk doesn't seem to demonstrate a strong desire to promote that language over the likes of ObjectARX and .NET. I could be wrong. I have been wrong before (I think).

So, I need a little help from you, if I may ask? I'd like to know what you think I should focus on for my next, and future books. Or let me know if I should find another hobby.

The power is in your hands. Use it wisely...

Take the Survey here:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SZLCWXY

Merry Christmas! A Few Holiday Thoughts to Share...

2012-12-25T09:57:00.001-05:00

Today is Christmas Day, and I just want to share a few thoughts with you...

Whatever your faith. Whatever your personal beliefs. I want to take a moment to THANK YOU, for taking the time to read this. THANK YOU for visiting my blog. Whether it's your first visit or you happen to be a regular visitor: THANK YOU!

It may sound cheesy, maybe a bit insincere, but in all honesty, I appreciate each and every visit to my blog. Maybe it's vanity. Maybe it's just knowing someone cares what I think (although I still scratch my head about that). Maybe it's a tiny little bit of thinking I've helped someone, somewhere, either learn something new, or just helped them to smile for a moment.

I will be the first to admit that I can run rampant with a one-sided discussion to the point of driving it head-first into a mountainside. My blog is a mess, strewn with the debris of crashed thoughts and the rising smoke of imploded ideas. (hold a second.... that was pretty damn good, I'm writing it down for future use...)

Every now and then I think I can crank out something that works okay, however. Just once in a while. But that's okay. I don't get paid for this in cash. My reward is maintaining a tolerable level of insanity. With the ever-increasing tide of information and pervasive noise in our world today, it's amazing that any one person or group can get any meaningful segment of the population to hear what they're saying.

Conversely, it's amazing that people have time to read one more blog, especially from a relative "nobody" like myself. I really appreciate it. I know I've called it quits at least two times in the past, but I think I'm going to stick with it until my time is used up on this planet. Again: THANK YOU!

Windows 8 - Scoring my Predictable Predictions

2012-12-23T21:37:00.003-05:00

Some of you, okay, two of you, might remember that I posted a semi-quasi-kinda-sorta-prediction about Windows 8, back in March of 2012 (it's almost 2013, so I didn't want to say "of this year" as it might confuse even myself). (see "Windows 8 - What I Think About It"). I ended the post by promising to follow-up when Windows 8 was "closer to final release".

Well, I'm following up on it now:

I still stand behind what I posted. That sounds bold, but it's really an easy thing to say, since I'm really standing (ok, sitting) "behind" miles of Internet circuitry, bazillions of electrons, a bunch of ISP connections, wireless signals, a million smartphones and mobile devices, and a glass of milk with some half-eaten cookies. At least my trusty, and sleeping Beagle will protect me.
Today's news has been reporting that holiday sales of Windows 8 have been "disappointing".
Enterprise customers are still Microsoft's bread-and-butter
Even with some signs of hope, the Consumer market continues elude Microsoft (as compared with Google's Android eco-system, and Apple's iOS juggernaut)
The volume of high-profile Windows 8 migration projects appears to be non-existent. Compared with Windows 7 (remember the impressive list of big customers announcing early adoption? Yeah. Not quite there with Windows 8)
Lastly, my statement about the "marketing stupidity" is still as valid. The ads are still aimed at consumers, not the enterprise. Until they can coerce the market forces to be aligned otherwise, ignoring the enterprise customer base is shooting themselves in the foot.

I'm not Mini-Microsoft, and I don't have any "inside" knowledge of what goes on out in Redmond like some other folks do. But as an IT consultant, I see a decent cross-section of municipal, education, and business environments, at least for the scale of our local region (the largest city by population in Virginia). And what I see doesn't look promising for Windows 8. As bleak as that may sound, I haven't heard a peep about Office 2013, which is even bleaker. Customers just aren't asking about it. When Windows 7 was rolling out, all I heard was one of three things:

[A] "I like it a lot more than Windows XP!"
[B] "I've heard Windows 7 is better than Windows XP. Should I/we upgrade?"
[C] "I/we didn't like Windows Vista, is Windows 7 really worth skipping Vista for?"

I've heard none of these comments about Windows 8 from any of my customers, and from my discussions with other local consultants and IT workers, they're not hearing it either. It's a shame too, in some respects. The parallels/similarities between Windows 8 and Windows Vista are almost uncanny:

Most of the UX changes feel unnecessary from a functional aspect. Some aspects are nice, like the "metro" theme motif itself, but the tiled UI on a desktop or laptop is just not happening for most users. Even if you happen to disagree with that, it's hard to argue that there shouldn't be at least the option to continue using the traditional Start Menu design. The astounding number of downloads of third-party add-ons to do just that should be enough to warrant a second consideration.
Some features seem more difficult to access (shutdown, restart, Windows Update, etc.) as compared to the previous version. With Vista it was that whole Network Neighborhood shuffle.
The "classic" UI fallback is either crippled or non-existent, opening the door for third-party solutions (Stardock, ClassicShell, etc.) which is a concern for managing a taller "stack" for enterprise deployments. Many (actually most) enterprise environments I've seen skipped Vista entirely, instead focusing on migrating from XP to Windows 7. That incurred hardware upgrades, and at least some targeted education of their users, officially (intranet how-to's, e-mails, etc.), or otherwise (ad hoc, over-the-shoulder training).

The solutions to these challenges are already posted to death across the Internet, so I 'm not about to regurgitate yet another spin on all that. Just read Paul Thurrott's thoughts on it, he's pretty much spot on (I recommend reading the other related "Fixing Windows 8" posts on his site as well).

So, getting more to the point: How would I score my hit-list of predicted fixes for Windows 8? Let me enumerate thy ways:

A "Windows 7 Classic" theme, that looks EXACTLY like Windows 7. For businesses to roll-out onto their already shell-chocked XP-to-7 users. Then we can shift to Metro later when the Xanax runs out.
Score: A+ / Start8 by Stardock, ClassicShell, and other add-ons appear to be flying off the virtual shelves as users look for ways to restore their Start Menu comfort zone.
A native App-V client included in the base product. App-V is cool, but I'm really sick of how hamstrung it is within MDOP and EA/SELECT and it's really holding back a lot of potential. Sick isn't the word. Disgusted is more like it. Score: C- / The XAML (Metro/Tile) application model is a half-way solution to the portability aspect of App-Virtualization models. Nothing has really opened up as far as the App-V/MDOP licensing constraints are concerned, but XAML shows promise for future cross-(Microsoft-based)-platform development.
A native MED-V feature as an option. My feeling is the same as described for App-V.
Score: B / While Embedded XP has kind of been forgotten, at least Microsoft took the rather bold move to offer Hyper-V 3.0 for client devices. It still lags behind VMware for desktop Virtualization in some respects, but it's still a good move. Competition is good for the customer (hence VMware Workstation 9's somewhat hurried release).
A better approach to COM activation than DCOMconfig.
Score: F / No change.
A better solution to keep the Registry clean.
Score: F / No (significant) change.

Personally, I feel Microsoft has an easy "out" right now. They can accept credit for what customers end up favoring, while assigning blame on Stephen Sinofsky for whatever they dislike. Either way, it's what a Politician would call a "win-win" situation. Maybe they can repeat the lesson's learned from Windows Vista when pushing ahead with Windows 7: Mop up the challenges in Windows 9. Maybe. There is no crystal ball, so no one really knows.

If Microsoft had a crystal ball, they would name it "Microsoft System Center Crystal Spheroidal Prediction Device 2012 Ultimate Enterprise Edition". Geez. I crack myself up. How pathetic.

And there you have it: Another dose of my completely useless, mind-numbing stupidity, shrink-wrapped and stamped with a scratch-n-sniff label that says "Check this out!".

Merry Christmas!

Another Book Announcement!

2012-12-23T07:54:00.004-05:00

My new book is on the conveyor belt inside the Amazon factory, heading for a Kindle store near you. In fact, I was notified just this morning that it's available right now! Yeee-Haaa! Just in time for Christmas or Kwanzaa! A bit late for Hanukkah though, oye.

Why Your Next IT Project Will Fail
(and what you can do to avoid it)

So, what's in this bundle of joy? Here's the book description that I typed up while on Cold medicine, you'll have to excuse the typo's (if any)...

Why do Projects fail? More specifically: Why do IT Projects fail? Is there a common thread or pattern that exists among failed IT Projects? Is it predominantly a failure of technology; of people; or a failure of both? Are there warning signs that make it easy to spot the causes before they become problems, with sufficient time to correct them? Are there steps that can be taken to correct the problem once it's begun? Are there strategies that can help prevent these potential issues from occurring again?

These are some of the questions I address, one by one. For each potential cause, I offer a list of warning signs, corrective actions, and some straightforward suggestions for preventing them from arising in the future. The goal of this is to help you keep your IT projects on track, keep your project team focused, and develop the strategies for making future projects more likely to succeed.

If you're still awake (hello?), you may be thinking, "Holy crap! This could lead to the cure for Cancer, or world hunger! How much will this miraculous piece of literature cost me?". Maybe you blurted it out loud and scared your dog or cat out of the room.

$4.99 USD is the selling price (the price is automatically converted for other countries by Amazon, not by me). Billy Mays would be flipping out right now. A possible cure for world hunger for only $4.99?! No way! Way!

Merry Christmas! and Happy Holidays! - to you, your family and friends!