SkiPh0pZ D0T C0M

New Facebook Craze "Sitting" Takes Internet by Storm

2013-05-20T16:26:00.000+09:30

A growing fad that involves lying down in a chair with torso/legs bent at a 90 degree angle has taken the world wide web by storm.

The meme has been named "sitting" or "the sitting down game" and has become popular on social networking site "Facebook.com". Users snap pictures of themselves and friends doing the infamous "sitting" in a chair and upload for all to see. Many have found that these so-called "chairs" provide an excellent platform for "sitting". Others sit on makeshift equipment like a boulder or rotten log.

Rap superstar Kerser performs "sitting" in a vehicle

Some cutting edge users have pushed this new meme to the limit, experimenting with "sitting gangam style" (swinging legs while sitting) and "sitting harlem shake" (having a seizure while sitting).

Several students report that their schools have already banned "sitting" because it disrupts lessons and is a safety issue. One teenager allegedly suffered a stroke after "sitting" for an extended period of time and drinking a can of Fanta.

An example of correct "sitting" technique

RIHANNA CAPTURED BY SOMALI PIRATES, PART 1

2013-05-10T18:27:00.001+09:30

Reuters- Barbados
10/05/2013
6:12 AM
(this story is still developing)

RIHANNA CAPTURED BY SOMALI PIRATES, PART 1

Police reports from the Principality of Barbados have confirmed what we all feared the most; pop princess Rihanna has been captured by the infamous Somali Pirates.

Rumors of the harrowing adventure began to surface last week when a series of cryptic tweets from Rihanna showed that something was amiss. She was sailing down the Ivory Coast to visit relatives when her three mast flagship was allegedly boarded by men wearing towels around their heads and packing uzis. When the captain's throat was slit the remaining crew members gave themselves up and threw themselves upon the mercy of the Somalian sea-dogs, offering to join their cause, but they were thrown overboard. Two smaller vessels carrying Rihanna's extended entourage were also commandeered. A statement on the Somali Pirates Facebook page reports that cargo carried by the fleet was also seized, including several casks of spices and chests brimming with Spanish pieces of eight. An offer of ransom has been made but Interscope Records are refusing to pay the $5 million.

Tweets by Rihanna indicate that she was chained to a lockbox in the captain's cabin as the ship sailed North with the trade winds, eventually making anchor at the notorious pirate den: Port Royal, Jamacia. There the Somali Pirates offloaded most of their cargo at the favourable local exchange rate and used their gold to restock their supplies, including a large amount of ammunition. They also purchased several new ships of the line. Rihanna told fans via Twitter that she was not allowed to leave the ship and had no change of clothes. This was the last confirmed Tweet by Rihanna herself before the Somali Pirates either hacked her Twitter account or confiscated her phone.

Later that night the Pirates returned under the cover of darkness and burned the Port Royal market district to the ground, recovering most of their spent gold and pillaging goods from several waterfront warehouses before stealing one of Richard Branson's finest yachts and sailing away. Cannons fired from the seawall fort were unable to prevent their escape, a fleet of privateers (legal pirates) was soon sent in pursuit.

A spokesperson for the Jamaican Naval Defence Force has confirmed that a police vessel cornered the pirates in a secluded cove on the morning of May 7th. A negotiator was unable to communicate with the pirates as they apparently don't know how to operate their radio. Rihanna's captors responded with cursing and small arms fire but the bullets did not have enough range to penetrate the armoured hull. The police boat opened fire with a 60mm anti-tank rifle. Out-gunned the pirates turned sail and attempted to flee, but not before Branson's prized yacht was punctured and began to sink. As the pirates rounded the cove they spotted the privateer fleet on the horizon; the trap was sprung.

Rihanna watched from the porthole of her cabin as the enemies of piracy closed in, freedom at last! But her elation was short lived, as one of the stronger, fatter pirates barged into the captain's cabin and knifed the captain in the guts. A mutiny was afoot! The new captain explained the situation to the other vessels via walkie-talkie and each boat sailed away in a different direction: port, starboard etc.

After sailing for 2 days the pirate captain admitted to Rihanna that they were lost at sea, with no land in sight. The other boats were out of walkie-talkie range, their crews most likely captured by police and hanged in Port Royal. Unfortunately all the stocks of rum and food were on the other boats, Rihanna and the skeleton crew were forced to survive by smearing raw spices on hand grenades and licking them. Rihanna waited until her captors were distracted by a passing dolphin/mermaid and began to chew through her restraints with razor sharp fangs.

As the captain was sick in his bed with cinnamon poisoning Rihanna made her move. Tearing the chains away from her naked body, she grabbed a matchlock pistol and ran abovedecks where she loudly explained that another mutiny was afoot. Her barbados accent was easy for the pirates to understand and they threw themselves at her feet, hailing her as queen of the pirates. Rihanna then explained that the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, and they could use this little-known fact to plot a course for home.

As their ragged ship sailed into the Gulf of Mexico, Rihanna had a change of heart as she stood on the deck wearing her pirate rags and admiring the blood-red sunset over the country of her birth. The crispy sea air and smell of vomit and semen was intoxicating. Of course it was tempting to return to her abusive boyfriend and record deal with the label that didn't care to pay her ransom, but what if she was to become queen of the pirates for real? She had nothing to lose. Just then a police boat hailed them on the radio, they were required to identify themselves...

TO BE CONTINUED

Rihanna's Pirate Facts:

"if u are trapped with somali pirates just remember these simple facts"

They have an extreme disregard for authority
Pirates rarely/never wash hands
Can't operate a simple radio
Have a lot of different guns but don't know which kind of bullets go with each, often end up jamming their weapons and throwing them overboard

edit: cops come here

2013-05-10T04:20:00.000+09:30

I think the PRESIDENT is the BOMB. SHOOT, sometimes, I think about BARACK OBAMA and wonder if he would like the ISLAMABAD deli on 14th st here in WASHINGTON, DC. I think the falafel is to DIE for. Or even to KILL for. It's so good it makes me wanna declare a falafel JIHAD on all the other INFIDEL falafel stands in the capital -- from those near THE WHITE HOUSE to those near CAPITAL HILL. they give me heartburn, though. it's like they ASSASSINATE my belly. it really KILLS me.

Kris Kross Retrospective

2013-05-03T20:57:00.000+09:30

we at skiphopz are big fans of comedy duo KRIS KROSS and we are sadenned by the death of the miggidy-miggidy-miggidy-miggidy-Mack Daddy himself, Chris Kelly...we will take this oportunity to look back at the great mans career spanning 1 decade. read da full article after da jump...

AD 1978: Chris Kelly is born under mysterious circumstances in parts unknown

AD 1989: Chris Kelly accidently puts his jeans on backwards. His best friend Chris Smith makes fun of him until Kelly convinces him that "all the cool kids are doing it"

AD 1990: Hitmaker Jermaine Dupri discovers Chris Kelly jumping up and down at a mall, decides to give him a record deal. Later it is revealed that he was having a seizure but the deal is done and there was no cooling-off period stipulated in the contract

AD 1991: Kelly travels to a crossroads where he makes a deal with The Devil. Later that night the hit single "Jump" is composed. Kelly would later pay a terrible price for this bargain...

AD 1992: "Totally Krossed Out" is released. The album receives 5 mics from The Source and sells 2 billion copies worldwide. US troops in Operation Desert Storm credit the song with inspiring their hearts to victory, even Saddam Hussein agrees "it is a good song".

AD 1992: The single "Jump" is released, making people want to jump

AD 1992: "Kris Kross: Make My Video" is released for the Sega CD, which featured the song "Jump"

AD 1993: Kriss Kross-Mania strikes the UK as the brothers tour Europe, it is confirmed that people over there also want to jump

AD 1995: Creative differences almost tear the duo apart, in a fit of rage Kelly accuses Smith of being merely "Def", not "So So Def". Smith responds by saying he no longer wishes to make people want to jump, he wants to see what other things he can make people want to do

AD 1996: Sales of "Jump" surpass 3 billion worldwide. America's GDP continues to skyrocket out of control, cementing their claim as the world superpower. Scientists report that mass jumping has damaged the tectonic plates underneath the Earth's crust, earthquakes ravage the developing world

AD 1998: A compilation album "Gonna Make U Jump" is released, featuring the song "Jump"

AD 1999: Kris Kross perform "Jump" to a crowd of people who no longer wish to jump. The Chrises are stunned by this development as they are booed offstage

AD 2000: Sales of "Jump" plummet as Destiny's Child release their highly derivative single "Jumpin Jumpin" which people like twice as much

AD 2003: Chris Smith's short lived solo career comes to and end. His debut single "Keep Jumping Please" from the album "Things I Will Make You Want to Do" is a total flop that bombs in a terrible way as he brings shame to his family and ancestors

AD 2004: Chris Kelly desperately needs to jump start his car to get to work but he has no jumper cables. Everyone except him finds the situation hilarious. He attempts to catch a bus but arrives too late, causing everyone to laugh even harder

AD 2006: Diehard fans are still holding the torch as the 11th Anal Kris Kross day is celebrated

AD: 2009: Kelly tries to make his girlfriend try base jumping but she refuses

AD 2011: The members of Kris Kross start wearing their clothes normally

AD 2012: Chris Kelly is injured in an ultimate frisbee accident, he lands awkwardly and his shinbone becomes lodged in his thigh. Doctors say he will never jump again

AD 2013: Chris Kelly goes on a massive bender and dies

BEVAN'S BIT'S #1 - guest column by Bevan B

2013-04-05T18:22:00.000+10:30

alright maggots, put down your goon bag for 1 sec and pay some fuckin attention becoz i have been granted this regular job postin shit for skiphopz.com...one of the dopest sites on the web. and centrelink told me i cant turn down a job. and i didnt even run this shit through a spell checker cause the editor here dont give a fuck. real shit from the streets of rural NSW where i rep from

first off i want to give a big FUCK YOU to those guys who are hosts and runners of the rap battles we have seen happen around this sunburnt land of our's. these rap battle running cunts are wack fucks who have no talent and need the battles they run to make a name for themselfs because there music is pure crap and they can not emcee. FACT: put a grand on it

on the message boards of OZHIPHOP.COM a recent topic has been emcees who are underrated. i want 2 give a shout out to some of my favorite real aussie emcees. KAYE is a mad bloke proud to be from nsw we have some of the best emcees and writers in our state alot of dope hip hop coming out of nsw lately. CANNIBAL TRIBE are sum of the hardest cunts out. LOSTY is a real creative dude and could be the next Aussie Eminem (one of my favorite rappers)

u may see me around gigs or at your local train station in these states nsw wa qld and maybe vic soon. so check out my music and hit me up on myspace... http://www.myspace.com/bevanb

LATER HATERS!

Breaking Bad Season 5 Leaked Script

2013-03-26T22:01:00.001+10:30

TOP SECRET - CONFIDENTIAL BREAKING BAD SEASON 5 OFFICIAL SCRIPT

FOR EYES ONLY

S05 [part 2] E04

SCENE - Jesse and Walt have conspired to cook one last great batch of 110% pure supermeth in Hank's basement while he is at the policeman's ball

Jesse: Hey Mister Walter White, who is my chemist professor and best friend, please pass the beaker so I can drip this purple liquid steam into a spiral tube, this shit gon be da bomb yo!

Walt: I swear, you are so incompetent Jesse although you are reluctantly my protege we are quite an odd couple and working with you is a bother! Will you PLEASE try to not be such an inconvenience...I wouldn't even want to cook nachos with you for crying out loud!

Jesse: Actually Mister White I am cooking nachos in your antique mortar and pestle upstairs, they should be done right about now...

*explosion sound* *Jess and Walt stare at each other as microwave crashes through the basement roof and tips over table full of glassware*

Jesse: I guess it wasn't microwave safe?

Walt: JESSE!!!

*Hank enters the scene, walking down stairs into basement*

Jesse (whispering): I thought you said he wasn't supposed to be home until late!

Hank: what are you two handsome bastards doing in my basementroonie? Walt, who's the kid?

Walt: He's a friend of a friend, I am putting him on a straight and narrow path

Hank: Glad to hear it buddy. Listen, the toilet upstairs is blocked and I need to drop the cosby kids off at the pool, if you know what I mean heh hehh hehh

*Hank enters basement toilet room and closes door*

Walt (whispering in harsh voice): THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Jesse: ALL-RIGHT already! Don't have a cow Mr White, I will think of something...

Hank (from behind toilet door): hey is it just me or can anyone else smell meth cooking in here?

*walt slowly reaches into jacket and hands jesse a tiny gun*

Walt: There's no time. You have to do it, its the only way. Now or never Jesse

*Jesse raises gun to his own head and pulls the trigger*
*but his hand slips and bullet richochets off a drainpipe into the toilet door*

Walt: NOOOOOOOOOO you idiot!!!

*toilet door busts open, Hank is covered in blood with pants around his ankles and gun drawn*

Hank (shouting and aiming his gun around): SHOTS FIRED REQUESTING BACKUP. WALT, GET DOWN! GET DOWN! THE CARTEL HAVE RETURNED TO FINISH THE JOB!

*Walt grimaces at Jesse with a knowing and fatherly look*
*Jesse runs to cower under broken table while Walt grabs the gun turns and fires three shots at Hank's back*

Jesse: What the hell did you just do man!? NOT COOL!

Walt: Finally, my job here is done

Hank (crawling down stairs dying): WALT! Did Skyler ask you to do this? It was Skyler trying to kill me all along, wasnt it. Or your son, I know he had something to do with this!

*Walk walks over and pours a beaker of half-cooked meth into Hank's mouth*

Walt: Goodnight, sweet prince

Marie (shouting from upstairs): Hank, are you down there? What the hell did you put in the microwave?

Jesse: Mister White, how are we gonna get out of here now?

*Jesse runs over to basement window and tries to open it*

Jesse: its stuck!

Walt: Unstick it then! Can't you do anything right?

Jesse: Do something! There must be something you can use among all these chemicals

*Walt turns and stares at batch of freshly cooked meth*

Walt: Eureka. Jesse, fetch my pipe.

Alien Planet Supports Life, All Manchester United Fans

2013-03-24T09:28:00.000+10:30

NASA held a press conference today confirming that the Voyager space probe had crashed on a previously unknown planet 8.2 light years from earth. As the damaged probe beamed back scientific data and video it was revealed that the alien beings who inhabit this world are huge fans of English soccer team Manchester United.

Head scientist Dr. Waleed Abdalati admitted he was baffled at first. As soon as the spherical Voyager probe crashed it was picked up by one of the local inhabitants and carried to one of the many nearby soccer pitches where humanoid creatures took turns dribbling and kicking it into an empty net, in an imitation of Ryan Giggs' 'goal of the century'. The indigenous life forms of the planet 61 Vir B are similar to humans, the main physiological differences being a larger cranium, a single eye instead of two and an intense obsession with all things Manchester United.

The probe also recorded footage of the surrounding streets, which are all named after former Manchester United players. A row of solid gold statues depicting former United star Cristiano Ronaldo stands on a nearby piazza. Twice a day the alien beings will stop whatever they are doing and run to a nearby TV to observe the sacred Manchester United training session. The local culture is quite advanced, they even have their own version of the internet which is conducted through futuristic fax machines however it is mostly used for fantasy football and streaming Sky Sports and MUTV so they can watch every minute of Manchester United matches and revel in their victories, despite living 7.75763329 × 10^16 meters away from Old Trafford.

NASA experts are divided about the ramifications of this amazing discovery. Dr Abdalati pondered "Does this mean signals from Earth were received by this fledgeling species or could Manchester United's genetic material be carried through space on a meteorite, populating many planets in the universe like a dandelion seed floating on cosmic winds? It could also indicate that Manchester United is an inherent property of space-time itself, guaranteed to manifest itself wherever intelligent life is found."

The latest signals from Voyager have revealed that the locals are gearing up for the end of the season, preparing for the time when they must all become Los Angeles Lakers fans.

PLAY-STATION 4 ANNOUNCE

2013-03-05T18:14:00.001+10:30

IT'IS ANOTHER ADITION OF SKIP-HOPZ-DOT-COM VIDYA GAME NEWS!!!!

>CLICK HEAR<

EVEN LONLIEST FOOL OF A HERMIT KNOW THE SONYMEN HAVE RELESED ALL ABOUT THERE NEW CONSOLE SOON TO BE EXPLODDING THE VIDEOCONSOLE MARKET: THE PLAY STATION FOUR!

MY COUSIN RANDY LIVE STEAMED THE PRESS CONFERENSE ON YOUTUBES AND I WILL TELL THEM ALL ABOUT IT.....

PLAY STATION 3 WAS A HARD ACT 2 FOLLOW BUT PLAY STATION 4 ("PS-4") WILL HAVE ALL THE GAMMING FEATERS U EXPECT AND MOAR.. CIRCUT BOARD BLUEPRINT SMUGGLED OUT OF A FACTORY IN THE MOCCASIN OF A CHINAMAN HAS SHOWN THE POWER OF SONYS NEW CELL PROCESOR WITH 2000MHZ AND CAN BE OVERCLACKED TO RIVAL THE DEMANDING MODERN GAMES SUCH AS CRYSIS 2 WARFARE AND UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2012. PS-4 WILL FEATERE UP TO 40000 POLYGONS PER SQUARE INCH,, ALLOWING FOR THE BUSHIEST AND REALISTIC EYEBROWS EVER SEEN IN A VIDEO GAME. WHEN IT COMES TO RAM, PS4 HAS 7 GIGS WHICH IS MORE THEN RANDYS ALIEN-WARE LAPTOP SO U CAN SEE PS-4 WILL BE A HEAVY HITTER FOR DECADES 2 COME!

SONYS PS4 WITH REVOLUTION "REMOTE" CONTROLLER FOR YOU'RE GAMMING PLEASURE!

A HUEG LINE UP OF GAMES WILL BE RELESED FOR PS-4 INCLUDING YOURE FAVORITES SUCH AS 'KILL ZONE 4 COLLECTOR EDITION' AND 'UNCHARTED 4: DRAKE GOES FISTING' BUTT FEAR NOT YOUNG READER,, PLAYSTATION 4 WILL BE OLD-COMPATIBLE WITH OUR FAVORITE PLAY STATION GAMES OF YORE SUCH AS CROC: LEGEND OF THE GOBBOS AND GEX 3D. NOW YOU'RE PATHETIC LIFE IS FINALLY COMPLETE

SUM NEW FEATERS ARE ANOUNCED FOR THE INTERFACE INCLUDING A "CROSS MEDIA BAR" WHICH WILL ALLOW U TAEK A SWIG OF SMOOTH EASY DRINKING JACK DANIELS WHILE U RELAX IN FRONT OF YOURE COMPLETE MEDIA CENTER SOLUTION...PHOTO SLIDESHOW AND REALPLAYER MEDIA PLAY BACK...ITS ALL IN THE BOX

THE NEW "EZ-GRIP" WHITE CONTROLER MATCHES YOURE FAVORITE CARDIGAN

PLAYSTATION 4 IS ALL ABOUT THE SOCIAL GAMMING WHICH MEANS BASICALY THAT YOU'RE FRIENDS WILL APPEAR IN A GAMEPLAY AND TAKE OVER THE CONTROLER FROM U AT ANY MOMENT,, HOW EXITING

EVER WANT TO TELL YOU'RE FRIENDS THAT U ARE PLAYNG A PLAY-STATION GAME BUT YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW 2 GO ABOUT IT??? NOW U CAN SIMPLY PRESS THE SHARE BUTTON AND YOU'R CONSOLE WILL POST A BLOG 2 ITS OWN LIVEJOURNAL ACCOUNT, PROBABLY YOUR PS4 WILL HAVE EVEN MORE FRIENDS THEN YOU RANDY AHAHAHAHH

VALVE'S "STEAM BOX" IS A RIVAL CONSOLE THE SONYMEN WILL BE CRUSHING

HOWEVER THE SUCESS OF PLAYSTATION 4 IS FAR FROM GURANTEED...GABEN NEWELL AND VALVE ARE RELEASING A PLAY STATION OF THERE OWN CALLED THE STEAM BOX. THE DETALS ARE NOT NOWN YET BUT IT'S SURE TO HAVE ALL YOU'RE FAVORITE PC GAMES SUCH AS THE SIMS NUDE MOD, HALF-LIFE ORIGINS AND EURO BOAT SIMULATOR.

MEAN WHILE NINTENDO HAVE RELEASE A NEW PIECE OF SHIT KNOWN AS THE "WII 2" WHICH HAS TWICE AS MANY CONTROLERS AND A BRAND NEW GAME WHERE MARIO WEARS A RACOON SUIT. STAY TUNED...2013 IS AN EXITING TIME FOR GAMMERS!!!

Golden Girl Goldie Hawn Dead Following Botched Facelift

2013-02-19T17:51:00.004+10:30

Golden Girl Goldie Hawn Dead Following Botched Facelift

It has been reported by the famous new website "The Global Daily" that famous person Goldie Hawn is dead. (full disclosure: The Global Daily is part of the Skiphopz Entertainment Network)

http://www.theglobaldaily.net/news/1361257775.html

Goldie Hawn checked into Madison Grove Private Clinic yesterday to receive a routine facelift operation, unaware of the bizarre events that would unfold. The problems began when the operating theater was moved, 2 hours into the marathon 6-hour procedure. A centipede infestation was reportedly disrupting the delicate instruments and the insects had crawled into the heart monitor, causing it to malfunction. After finally relocating the operation to a different wing of the hospital, lead doctor Winston Hopkins discovered Goldie's face had been left behind.

This is what her face looked like (file photo)

Witnesses say Dr Hopkins tore off his mask and broke down in tears. He was quoted saying "The face is gone. Lord, forgive us what we done [sic]" while sobbing uncontrollably as he slumped towards the staff lounge. Police later placed him under a 24-hour suicide watch. Meanwhile, other nurses and doctors tore away their scrubs and began to search the hospital grounds for the missing face.

Goldie Hawn's partner Kurt Russell thought he had located the famous flap of bloody skin when he stumbled across a leather baseball glove in one of the wards, but it was a false alarm. Goldie's body was quickly dying with no face to breathe oxygen and there was nothing that could be done. As time ran out Dr Hopkins burst into the operating room and offered his own face as a replacement but was shouted down by the replacement surgeon as cooler heads prevailed. A last ditch effort to relocate Hawn's mouth and eyes to a golden retriever ended in failure. Goldie Hawn was pronounced dead at 5:15 AM.

Goldie Hawn photographed hawking stolen iPhones on the street

Goldie Hawn's death was met with an outpouring of grief and support on Twitter. Lifelong friend Justin Bieber was particularly distraught, tweeting "wow i cant belieb she has really gone. thanks goldie for bird on a wire". Elsewhere, President Obama released a statement thanking Hawn for her many years of service. MTV will be screening a special memorial program on Sunday.

Goldie will be remembered for numerous roles on the silver screen, including Foul Play, Shampoo, Overboard, Bird on a Wire, Death Becomes Her, The First Wives Club, On Golden Pond and Cactus Flower, for which she won the 1969 Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. She was the mother of actors Oliver and Kate Hudson. Hawn had maintained a relationship with actor Kurt Russell since 1983. She was 67 years old.

GLOBAL WARMING HOAX EXPOSED -exclusive

2013-02-05T18:44:00.005+10:30

it has come to the attention of SKIP HOPZ DOT COM that the global warming hoax is still tricking some unsurspecting newspapper writters and sciencepeople. here I will tell u the facts of the mattar...

let me explain, for 1 thing, that scientists and sciencewomen dont even agree on the basic "facts".

is the sea level rising or falling? (hint: tide goes in, tide goes out)
is hotness measured in celsius or farenheight?
what temp does ice melt at?
is the sun orbiting closer to earth during warm period? (known as "sun orbit theory")

EPIC FAIL

some ppl would tell u that an extreme hurricane or storm happen because globe is warming...WRONG! using this same logic I can suggest that adolf hitler was feeling a bit warm when he declared world war 1. what if the austrian archduke was feeling a bit warm so he decided to take a stroll into the fire of a gunman??? OH NO GLOBAL WARM IS DA MAJOR VILLAN!!! KILL WHITEY!!!

also allow me to mention that hurricane arent exactly a warm thing...

"oh no, warming caused this hurricane!!!" (said a dumb person)

the so called "solution" for the alledged warming? these blockheads propose to put a TAX on carbon.

smh...

FIRST of all, carbon is SIMPLE HIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY that exist within every single cell in the planet. u cant put a tax on that...it would be like putting a tax on smoking weed. the goverment has no right to control it. for example the goverment puts a ban on ricin and walter white can cook up a batch in his meth lab no problem. BAM. your dead...

SECONDLY, carbon is only 0.1% of the air. even if u put a total ban on carbon (zero tolerance policy) we will have 99% global warming! and thats incredible!

GLOBAL FUCKING COOLING

how about this: turn on a air conditioner (a wonderful invention these hippies and Al Gore probably never heard of). problem solved. #dealwithit
better yet...build bigger air conditioner all over the polar ice...no more warming. ron paul was saying this since 2008.

If you like strippers this is the video for you

2012-10-27T10:50:00.000+10:30

How thoughtful of you. Thanks Tim!

Chris Brown finally stands up to Rihanna

2012-10-26T18:01:00.000+10:30

In a move that has rocked the entertainment world, famous crooning rapman Chris Brown has taken legal action his ex-girlfriend Rihanna. He is asking for $10 million in damages and a restraining order against Rihanna to stop her spreading her genital herpes from Barbados.

"Rihanna gave me herpes and then when I threatened to file a lawsuit against her for not telling me she was infested with genital blisters she began to hit herself in the face and throw herself into walls just as Jim Carrey did in the movie 'Liar, Liar."

"Then she turned around and blamed me for the matter as a form of punishment."

"I woke up with three blisters on my penis ... this isn't just a regular case of American herpes, this is a case of Herpes from Barbados, which is most likely lethal."

Brown has employed an expensive team of lawyers to push his case and will be calling Jim Carrey as an expert witness to demonstrate the way somebody can hit themself in the face and crush their own head in a toilet. Jim Carrey has stuck by his best friend Chris Brown ever since the wicked whore Rihanna came into his life and destroyed it. We at SkipHopz Dot Com will continue to support Chris Brown and hope he can find the justice he has been missing for so long.

Rihanna (if that is her real name) could not be reached for commnent, at the time of writing she was most likely summoning a demon with the help of the illuminati and making up more lies about Chris Brown from her Palace of Thorns in Barbados.

The Pliers of Chakademus to release solo album

2012-10-19T21:00:00.000+10:30

Following successful solo ventures by fellow Jedi Mind Tricks members Stopue and Vinne Paz, the Pliers of Chakademus is set to release its debut album 'Billion Dollar Latte'.

The Pliers got their first break on the semenal Jedi Mind album 'Violent By Design'. During recording there was a problem when a microphone cord broke and needed to be held together. Stoupe (the Enemy of Mankind) found the Pliers in a drawer in his laundry and brought them to the studio. They worked so magnificently that Jus Allah suggested they give the Pliers a bigger role on the album. Although their background vocals and production work was uncredited at the time, Vinne Paz gave the pliers a shoutout with the classic lyric "Rip off your fingers with the Pliers of Chakademus". The Pliers would later leverage this into numerous mixtape appearances. In 2009 the Pliers of Chakademus were signed to Interscope records.

The Pliers of Chakademus with Vinnie Paz at the 2012 MTV Movie Awards

The religious leanings of the Pliers have always been a hot topic of discussion among hip hop fans. Vinnie Paz has recently criticised the Pliers for not following the word of Allah. He also said the Pliers of Chakademus were not even needlenose, and therefore useless for any small work that needed to be done. The Pliers responded by calling Vinne a 'needledick' and saying they didn't want any beef but there was a differnt version if Islam for pliers (which is true) and all tools must follow their own path. The Pliers of Chakademus have a positive message for the youth that comes through in their music.

Clamps has been a worthy adversary for the Pliers but they have kept their beef on wax.

The critical reception to the new album has been mixed. Pitchfork Media was enamoured with the release, adding it to their coveted 'best new music'. The Sydney Morning Herald was less impressed, they took issue with the repetitive beats "Which sound like a pair of pliers opening and closing," and the 'lyrics' which are apparently "A combination of metallic clanking and grinding noises." Highlights on the album include the diss track to Clamps of Futurama and the titular song, a 7 minute epic featuring Vinnie Paz. Rapper Ludacris features on 8 of the 12 songs on the album.

Billion Dollar Latte is available for preorder at Soulclap Records and Next Level Records.
It is available for download from Kazaa and Limewire.

Peter Andre Bites Talib Kweli

2012-10-19T18:39:00.000+10:30

Portrait of a biter

Underground rap singer Talib Kweli is recovering in hospital tonight after being bitten by a crazed Peter Andre.

The surprising incident took place in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria in New York. Kweli was signing autographs for fans when he was interrupted by a crazed Peter Andre who flung himself at the rap singer. Andre bit Kweli on the face and jaw before latching onto his arm and removing a strip of flesh. He was restrained by hotel security but managed to escape while they attempted to contact police. He was heard running away while yelling "It was love at first bite! I will find you again Talib, nobody can keep us apart!"

Kweli was shaken by the incident but he remains in good spirits. He was quoted saying "I feel bad for Peter, he is in a dark place right now and I honestly wish him the best."

Andre could not be reached for comment. His agent released a statement saying "This is an uncharacteristic biting by Peter. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding and he will emerge from hiding soon to explain himself." Police have asked anyone with information about his whereabouts to contact Crime Stoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

Peter Andre was one the biggest and amazing sensational artists of the 1990s who created a fad among all the music lovers across the globe with his illustrious and stunning, ”Mysterious Girl” and who still continues to amaze his fans by his flair. He doesn't have any known diseases so its no big deal if he bites you. The accomplished performer is well known for his brilliant come back in 2006 who rocked the UK charts with his album A Whole New World. After the spectacular musical success of the album, Peter Andre continues to delight his fans with all the astonishing albums. Be it Revelation (2009) – with dark lyrics which was a bit different from his previous style, Unconditional : Love Songs (2011) or Accelerate (2010) which entered the UK charts in its first week.

William Shakespeare Dead at 52

2012-09-30T11:53:00.000+09:30

Legendary English poet/playwright Will Shakespeare is dead. The tragic discovery was made by high school student Jennifer Wilkins at Boston Town Library earlier today.

"I was flicking through a biography of Will Shakespeare and it said he was dead, I was so sad I had to put the book down and let everybody know about it." She said, even as she texted the news to her friends.

The news quickly spread to Twitter and Facebook where a page dedicated to the medieval rapper's death got thousands of likes and it became a trending topic worldwide. In an incredible outpouring of creativity, wellwishers on Blingee.com have created hundreds of tributes to the great man. Pop group Linkin Park have authorised the use of their music for unofficial fan tribute videos on Youtube.

Some people were skeptical at first, as enemies of Will Shakespeare had made up fake reports of his death before. But the story was soon picked up by CNN and edited into the Wikipedia.

According to official sources, Will died in 1826 on April 23rd. The cause of death is not known, even wikipedia doesn't know. Shakespeare's family were unable to be reached for comment and his grave site cannot be located even by the latest GPS gadgets. Many Shakespeare fans have cited these anomalies as proof the writer might still be alive, some have put forth the theory that the @horse_ebooks twitter account is being run by William Shakespeare who faked his own death and leaves clues about the truth in his Twitter postings.

Whatever his true fate, MTV will be screening a special memorial for Shakespeare on Friday.

R.I.P Will Shakespeare 1812 - 1938

The 5 Realest Rap Criminals

2012-09-18T15:58:00.000+09:30

THE anals of hip hop history are full of rappers acting hard and admitting to crimes they never really did. But there are some rappers who walked the walk. Skiphopz Dot Com counts down 5 of the realest criminals in rap...

5. LLOYD BANKS

Coming in at number 5 on the list, Mr Lloyd Banks has terrorized dozens of people with his annoying act of stealing umbrellas. Whenever he leaves a cafe or indoor location where people store umbrellas near the entrance, he takes one. When an elderly man pointed out "Thats my umbrella" Lloyd simply replied "Come and take it!" before skipping out the door laughing. None of the victims have pressed charges and at the time of writing he remains a rap criminal at large.

4. DR. DRE

The public facade of 'The Good Doctor' is nothing more than an elaborate ruse invented by the infamous Dr Dre while he continues to work his dark arts behind closed doors. These unspeakable acts make him our 4th most feared assassin of all time. The fact that Dre never went to medical school has not stopped him from opening his own medical practice, fronted by a real doctor named Dr Marshall Mathers, where he allegedly cuts people up into small pieces and sews them back together in his spare time. In a recent interview Dre said his "work" is nearly complete and Detox will be released soon, we can only guess at what secrets lie behind that mysterious locked door in his basement.

3. RICK ROSS

Number 3 on our list of dumbest criminal masterminds is none other than the fat man himself, Rick Ross. Ross decided he would steal five cents from every bank account in the world, thinking he could make a lot of money and remain undetected. So he started hanging around ATMs and beating people up, stealing their cards and forcing them to give up their PIN at knifepoint, then he would withdraw the five cents. Rick Ross has made over $15 from these crimes. He is a wanted criminal in 9 states, his current whereabouts unknown.

2. VINNIE PAZ

The 'Pazmanian Devil' is as notorious as he is feared. He made his name sneaking into orphanages during feeding time, using his babyface to avoid detection by the guards. He would make his way to the head of the feeding line, hold a bowl in to the air and say "Please sir, may I have some more?" before pulling out a samurai sword and going to town, brutally slicing the throats of any who dare try to run. He would then sit in the bloodsoaked room eating his fill of beans and porridge. If you see a fat manchild covered in tattoos please call Crimestoppers, you can remain anonymous if you wish.

1. WILL SMITH

Our number one rapping serial killer has to be Big Willie himself, Will 'The Fresh Prince' Smith. His sadistic acts are legendary, starting with the rape and murder of a young girl in 1990. Once his brutality was unleashed, he knew no boundaries, torturing, killing, cannibalizing victims, both male and female.

With the release of his Code Red album in 1993, Smith's lyrics became darker as he ruminated on the terrible events of 1990. One night after a concert in Florida he became angry with a young girl for laughing at him when he propositioned her for sex. He beat her until she was unconscious with the help of 'Jazzy Jeff', then raped, sodomized, and tortured her before dumping her weighted body into a swamp. Jazzy Jeff was shaken by the experience and begged Will Smith to turn himself in, but Smith simply laughed, pulled out a dagger and threatened to cut off Jeff's balls if he ever spoke of what happened this night. Will Smith continued to kill after each live performance. Encouraged by his success he worked on mastering this skill of torture, often keeping his mutilated victims alive for weeks. The killings became more macabre and sadistic each year, he sometimes cannibalized parts of their bodies while they watched in horror or forced them to participate in the eating.

In 1997 the hip hop task force special investigation into the missing groupies was turning up enough leads that pointed the finger at Smith. After a search of Will Smith's estate uncovered clothing worn by one of the girls, Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff were indited for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. While awaiting trial in prison, Jazzy Jeff broke down under police pressure and told authorities about Will Smith's other killings, starting in 1990.

Two weeks before he was due to give evidence at the murder trial, Jazzy Jeff disappeared. Two weeks later his scrotum was discovered nailed to the door of the New York Supreme Court. Will Smith claimed he had nothing to do with it, and the prosecution was forced to dismiss the case due to a lack of evidence. The families of the victims were outraged. They claimed Will Smith's powerful Hollywood connections were influencing the course of justice.

The mysterious disappearances of groupies on Will Smith's world tours had almost stopped in 1999, until Smith ordered a press conference and taunted police by saying the 'Willenium' was coming and he could not be stopped. In the decade form 2000 to 2010 there were at least 180 confirmed cases of girls, some as young as 12, disappearing after being last seen at a Will Smith concert. Some experts have claimed Will Smith may be the most prolific serial killer of all time.

Ebay removes 'RAP' category from vinyl record listings

2012-09-15T18:21:00.000+09:30

IT has come to the attention of SKIPHOPZ that popular websight 'E-BAY' (the electronic bay) has removed hiphop/rap from it's auction listings for vinal records. What the hell do those nerds even know about RAP?

The disturbing news was revealed on Ozhiphop forums. This is nothing less than a insult to all rap listeners on the web. I am mad as hell right now...and not just because i have spent the afternoon reading spam message board posts SHOTS HAVE BEEN FIRED

ebay placed this monolith in an airport corridor to impede pedestrians

Tha relationship between ebay and the rap community has always been strained, ever since i gave some guy in brazil a 1 star rating because he sold me a Drake CD. Drake fukking sucks as we are all aware!

What can we do, as a rapping community, to force ebay to change their ways???

We will spread tha word on our' blogs and google waves. We will not rest until 'RAP' is a main category on the site, along with boats and jeans with rhinestones all over them (THE JEANS NOT THE BOATS)

Jazz Musician Morgan Freeman Dead at 90

2012-09-10T15:56:00.002+09:30

(This story is still developing) Influential actor Morgan Freeman is dead. According to official sources he died in hospital this morning following a heart attack.

The news was broken by popular internet news website 'The Global Daily'
http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1347258242.html

Goodnight sweet prince

Freeman was rushed to Fair Oaks hospital after complaining of chest pains during a morning run earlier today, according to official sources. Efforts to save the actor failed at around 6:30 AM. The death has come as a shock to friends and family, who report that Freeman was in good health up until the massive heart attack ended his life.

Freeman will be remembered for his Academy Award winning performances and charity work. He was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the foremost actors of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Bill Cosby Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...R.I.P'. Morgan Freeman was 75 years old.

Listening to Canibus 'permanently lowers IQ', new study finds

2012-09-07T14:16:00.003+09:30

World Global Reuters Daily - 7 September 2013

TEENAGERS who regularly listen to popular rap artist Canibus are putting themselves at risk of permanently damaging their intelligence, according to a landmark study.

Researchers found persistent listeners of the rapper, who started listening to his music at school, had lower IQ scores as adults. They were also significantly more likely to have attention and memory problems in later life, than their peers who listened to normal music. Furthermore, those who started as teenagers and listened heavily, but quit as adults, did not regain their full mental powers, found academics at King’s College London and Duke University in the US.

The rapper Canibus, one of the major health concerns in America today

Professor Terrie Moffitt, of KCL’s Institute of Psychiatry, who contributed to the study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, said “persistent listeners” who started as teenagers suffered a drop of twelve IQ points at the age of 28, compared to when they were 15. Persistent users meant those who listened to at least one Canibus album per week from ages from 18 to 28. She said: “Adolescent-onset Canibus listeners showed marked IQ decline from childhood to adulthood.

“Research has shown that IQ is a strong determinant of a person’s access to a college education, their lifelong total income, their access to a good job, their performance on the job, their tendency to develop heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and even early death,” she said. “Individuals who lose twelve IQ points in their teens and 20s may be disadvantaged, relative to their same-age peers, in most of the important aspects of life and for years to come.” The cognitive abilities of the 10 per cent of people who started listening to Canibus in their 20s also suffered while they were still listening. However, if they gave up at least a year before their IQ test at 28, their intelligence recovered, suggesting their brains were more resilient and bounced back.

This man never had a chance, due to Canibus damaging his brain at a young age

Prof Moffitt said adolescent brains appeared "more vulnerable to damage and disruption" from Canibus than those of fully mature adults. Reliable figures on Canibus usage among today’s British teens and twentysomethings are hard to come by. But Prof Moffitt said there was growing concern in the US that Canibus was increasingly becoming seen as one of the greatest lyricists of our time. “This is the first year that more secondary school students in the US are listening to Canibus than Eminem, according to the Monitoring the Future project at the University of Michigan,” she noted. “Fewer now think Canibus is more damaging than Lil Wayne, but Canibus is harmful for the very young.”

Skiphopz: The Book, Rejected 1st Chapter

2012-09-01T17:20:00.000+09:30

Intruder, Google Server Room

"Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga"

Nothing is absolute. My hands were shaking as I removed the piece of paper and inserted the floppy disc into the drive. The fans on the imposing racks of servers (racks on racks on racks) blew freezing air over the sweat on my face as I logged on. It was getting cold, absolutely so. I used the login credentials Tim had given me and they seemed to be working, at least that part of his story checked out. That must mean the reward was real too, right? It seemed too good to be true. I would be set up for life, just for uploading a line of code! But I deserved this. All those late nights of unpaid overtime, the ruin of a perfect marriage. Fuck the consequences. Everyone knows this company is a cancer on the Earth anyway. Once I get paid I'm GHOST.

Wait, what was that noise? Footsteps? Absolutely nothing.

Anyway, how could those bitch faced jerks relegate me to working in the server rooms, shivering my ass off (yet sweating profusely), my hands covered in exotic ointments to protect against the cold. So cold! The whole freezing company was partly my idea in the first place. I should have a nice, warm corner office. Whatever, it's too late now. I saved the document twice, just to make sure, and closed the program. In 12 hours it would be done, absolute hell would break loose.

Steve Stevenson

IT was meant to be the grand entrance of all entrances - but Hugh Jackman's flying fox swoop into the Oprah Show took a tragic turn. Jackman was nearing the stage of the Opera House when he struck a chainsaw, severing his legs.

Oprah rushed to Jackman’s aid, making light of his injury. "Bono was meant to do this but they couldn’t afford the insurance," she told the 6000- strong audience. Jackman remained calm and asked for a last cigarette as he lay on the stage bleeding, saying "That was too much fun. It was okay until the end". with his children watching in the audience and visibly upset, Oprah told the audience "Oh we’re going to see that on the news, over and over again.”

IT was the best of blogs, it was the worst of blogs. Steve Stevenson checked over his post one more time while his mouse cursor hovered over the 'Submit' button. It was a snappy news piece about Hollywood actor Hugh Jackman severing his legs in an onstage accident. A surefire hit, bound to bring some traffic in. It might be the best thing he had written since his recent article about Bill Cosby's supposed death. Steve laughed a crazy laugh, like nails being thrown against a whiteboard.

He was about to publish the latest version of Skiphopz.com when an IM window popped up. This was odd, as he didn't have AOL Instant Messenger installed on this computer, or did he? Using this antiquated program was like being in a time machine. The message was from a user named Bill_Cosbys_Ghost, who spoke in all caps.

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: ZIP ZAP BOP I'M STILL HERE, KID

Steve: who is this?

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: WHERE AM I, SOME KIND OF COMPUTER GAME WITH THE WHIZZKIDS AND THE GADGETS?

Steve: get a life dude

Bill_Cosbys_Ghost: I WANT YOU TO GO TO HELL AND SIT ON A RED HOT COAL AND WAIT FOR ME

Steve closed the window and logged off. Cosby's Ghost was a creative troll, in a way, but how pathetic. That guy needs to get a job, take up a constructive hobby. He switched on the TV and flicked around the channels until he saw Dan Rathers and a news report that made him produce an involuntary silent cough and drop the remote.

Bill Cosby was dead.

Then the phone rang.

The Editor

The phone is ringing, oh my god.

Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing? Was this written by an author? You clearly have no grasp of basic grammar and punctuation. You're not following the conventions. This font is totally inappropriate and the margins are way off. You aren't setting the scene at all. The characters are not believable. Your prose reads like something my granddaughter would write, and she is 5 years old! Get it together.

Bill Cosby

There's a website, www.something-or-other, I forget what, that has the history of everyone who's ever lived on it. You just have to specify exactly who you're looking for and you can read all about them. But I looked up myself, and for some reason my entry ended abru

Cameron White

Fuck this noise. She wanted to capture the kid alive but it wasn't required, strictly speaking. As Google's head Demon she had a licence to do whatever the fuck she wanted, short of detonating a nuclear device (that would require no less than 3 levels of approval). And she got paid either way. There would be a ton of paperwork but that was no problem, she enjoyed the distraction that kind of work provided

Her Google Maps team was tracking the chopper and it had started to slow down. Perfect. Now the radio on her belt crackled to life “Captain, we have a lock on the target.” All she had to do was ask Jeeves to press the button, and Steve Stevenson would be a thing of the past. A forgotten thing, like Google Wave.

“Do it.”

Bill Cosby reported to be Dead

2012-08-30T16:55:00.001+09:30

The internet has reported popular comedian Bill Cosby to be dead for the first time in 2012. The news was broken on Twitter and quickly spread to news websites such as The Global Daily: http://theglobaldaily.net/news/1346311361.html

Cosby was driving home on Freeway 33 after visiting friends when his Toyota swerved into the wrong lane and was hit by an oncoming car. The other driver was killed instantly and Cosby was badly injured, he was rushed to hospital but there was nothing doctors could do to reverse the terminal brain damage and internal bleeding.
Police don't think drugs or alcohol were factors in the fatal crash. Followers of Bill Cosby on Twitter have been suggesting that he was Tweeting while driving, and the distraction lead to the fatal accident.
Cosby will be remembered for his comedy routines and television work, including Fat Albert and The Cosby Show. He was also the author of many books.

Bill Cosby was loved by many fans around the world, he will be remembered as one of the foremost comedians of the last century. Thousands of fans have expressed their shock and grief on social networking websites such as Twitter, with famous people contributing and offering support to the friends and family as well. Lifelong friend Jackie Chan Tweeted 'I can't believe he is really gone...Rest In Peace'. Bill Cosby was 75 years old.

Rolling Stone Keith Richards Dead at 68

2012-08-26T15:44:00.002+09:30

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards passed away earlier this morning. The cause of death is still unknown, although a copy of the coroners report obtained by A.P. stated the probably cause of death as ‘Natural Causes’.

An interview with Stones drummer Charlie Watts at his Yorkshire home yesterday yielded the following quote: “Natural causes? Naturally speaking, Keith bloody died 25 years ago! The man was a **expletive** vampire! Somebody must have finally put garlic in his **expletive** methadone!”

Keith Richards was born in 1943. He studied music in his youth, playing both the french horn and piccolo in his schools orchestra and held a strong passion for classical chamber music. He also had an unrelenting desire to be a ballet dancer, but never achieved a desirable height to pursue dancing earnestly. This love of high culture continued into his early adolescents until one night at a local party, fate intervened...

Although the young Richards had always abstained from drugs and drink, he succumbed to peer pressure when a friend dared him to drink his first double scotch. That friend was none other than Mick Jagger. “Keith was a flipping fop till I met him that night!” Jagger would later comment in an interview, “not only that, but I think that you’re the coolest guy in the world! Everybody who was mean to the guy when he was in school should kiss his bloody ass now!"

Richard’s funeral will be privately held tomorrow at an undisclosed location with services starting at 10AM. No press, public or Rolling Stones fans will be admitted as family members have given strict instructions that the location of the service be held confidentially in accordance with Mr. Richards will. MTV will be showing a special memorial on Monday.

Egg Addiction Ruins Local Rap Crew

2012-08-24T16:20:00.000+09:30

Famous rap gadabouts "The Crate Cartel" have gone into receivership (basically means they are broke as fuck and their parents had to bail them out). Have they hung up their goonbags for good?

Crate Cartel has been home to such lovable acts as "The Goatmob" and "Big Maundz" who created a stir in the local scene with their mix of rapping and power ballads for young men of the streets. But the highs of rap stardom proved too much for Crate Cartel founder Geko. While his label-mates were saving for home loan deposits or investing in stocks and bonds, Geko used his rap money to buy ever more extravagant and delicate Fabergé eggs.

It’s hard not to see the Fabergé eggs as a metaphor for the local hip hop scene, a final, ostentatious flourish of European aristocracy: beautiful, hugely costly, useless, even silly.

Find out more and inquire about buying one of the famous eggs here: http://cratecartel.com/

Achtung! Child Rapper 360 Missing, Feared Kidnapped!

2012-08-15T18:30:00.001+09:30

Legendary Austrian rapper 360 has been missing since Monday and many fear he has been kidnapped.

The troubles started on Sunday night, 360's mum said he didn't return home for dinner. Earlier in the day he apparently said "I'm going out to rap". Several sources close to the 360 family say he was going to battle his nemesis Kerser (the sickest).

an artist's impression of 360 chained up in a basement, kidnapped by the Ministry of Sound

360's Facebook page went into full scale meltdown as the news spread. Many fans shared the status "Where is 360?" and expressed their outrage that his bodyguards would allow Kerser to make a move. Is this all part of Kerser's devious endgame?

The Victorian Police declined to comment on the matter. We here at Skiphopz.com hope they will join us in praying for the safe return of oz hiphopper 360.

To all the young rappers out there: please keep it on wax.

The news of 360's kidnapping comes as Kerser revealed on Facebook that he has AIDS. He contracted the fatal disease by sharing needles with his lads. Our hearts go out to Kerser and his crew of runabouts.

Join the NEW SkipHopZ DOT COM Street Team!!

2012-08-08T13:21:00.003+09:30

IN an effort to make more of u internet nerds read my blog i have decided to expand my markating stretegy by using viral stretegies of online markating in the real world...basically called a street team

MARKETING IDEAS:

Insert "Skiphopz dot com rules!" into the text of wikipedia articles
Replace Wikipedia's featured article with an article about Skiphopz dot com (needs to be written first, also make me an Austrian king in the article)
Product placement in movies, like a movie where you visit skiphopz.com and dont die 7 days later
Run up and whisper "Skiphopz dot com" into somebodys ear. Repeat 500000 times
Look into possibility of using those military drones
Put stickers with blog address all over the inside of sealed Egyptian tombs, when archeologists open the tomb they will visit the site
Redirect google.com to skiphopz.com
Sponsor junior ice hockey team, hope heartwarming story of redemption will bring viewers to blog
Hand out free Skiphopz energy drinks for $4 each (buy case of red bull and write SKIPHOPZ on label)
Build hype by dissing rival blogs
A weird alphabetic Chia Pet that spells out Skiphopz.com when grown
Look into becoming the official blog or energy drink of the 2013 Olympic Games...wherever their being held i dont know yet
Record yelling "Skiphopz dot com" over the top of a Lil B mixtape and upload it to Kaazaa
Doo Wop (That Thing)

please leave comment below if u want to join the street team. also, if accepted i will need a sample of youre DNA.