Skipping the In-Between

New Blog

2010-08-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

To anyone who follows my blog, I have switched over to tumblr. Please come follow me there. http://thesynapsesnap.tumblr.com/ Thank you!

Until we meet again,

~Nicho

A Series of Ridiculous Events

2009-08-21T15:05:00.001-07:00

This has been one of the craziest weeks I have experienced in a while. Let me lay it out for you...

Day 1 - Tuesday:

I got up on Tuesday morning with the express purpose of getting my car registered and myself licensed in the state of Tennessee. So I go online, find out where the Nashville 'DMV' is located and I head off in my car.

I arrive at the location, only to find out there is construction being done on that building, so I have to go to another location.

I drive to the other location hoping to get my paperwork and directions to an Emissions Testing Facility (ETF for the purposes of the rest of this story). I walk up to the information counter and ask them for paperwork and they tell me that I cannot register my car and get my license at the same location; they are two different places. He hands me directions to the ETF and the Licensing Location and tells me where I can go to get my car registered.

Luckily, the ETF is on my way back to my place and the Vehicle Registration Office (VRO). My car (Beatrice) passes with flying colors at the ETF and I head over to the VRO to continue my quest of being responsible in the state of TN.

After searching for a while I located the office and in ten minutes had my new license plate and registration for Beatrice. Next stop: The Licensing Office (LO).

I drive my half hour over to the LO and realized I had failed to bring 2 proofs of residency with me, so I had to go over to my bank and have them print out a statement so I could go back and get my license.

Upon my return, they accept my forms of identification and so and so and give me a number. 2 hours later my number is called. Everything is going fine until the vision test. I don't have a particularly deft left eye. In fact, my left eye has problems seeing things in HD clarity...or even tube television clarity for that matter. They tell me I have to go to the eye doctor and be examined so they can prove that I am capable to drive without killing people.

I have been through this whole issue once before...in California, but I was hoping it would be different. Oh well.

Day 1 ends.

Day 2 - Wednesday:

This day was basically a day off, because I couldn't get an eye appointment until Thursday. However, that's when I really start to notice the spider bite that is erupting on the side of my neck like Mount Vesuvius. I have since affectionately named him Tom, because I...well...if you know me, you know I name things.

So that was day 2.

Day 3 - Thursday:

There wasn't a whole lot I could do Thursday morning, seeing as how my eye appointment was set for 3:15 that afternoon, so I ran a few errands and then headed over to Costco. I went in, explained to them that I have done this before and they assured me there would be no problem with me getting my license, so I got the a-okay from the eye man and I headed back to the LO.

I arrive, with my paperwork that says I don't have to wait in line because I previously played that game. But here's the kicker: I can't find my passport that was resting comfortably in my car for the sole purpose of assisting me in my license retrieval. So I go in, hoping I can get away with it, because they had written my passport # on the paper already. Snake eyes. No winner.

So I go back out to Beatrice to try and locate my lost passport and call my sisters to see if they happened to have seen my passport when they were in my car. Apparently, my cousin decided it would be great fun to take my passport so I would wonder where it went. Which, under normal circumstances, would have been pretty sneaky and clever, but under these particular circumstances I was not thrilled that they were at the Science Museum with my passport and I was stuck at the LO with no way to get my license.

So they drove down and met me outside of the LO and I went in, with 15 minutes to spare, and finally acquired my driver's license.

Day 3 ends.

Day 4 - Friday (Epilogue):

I was hoping that everything would return to normal today, seeing as how I waded through the refuse of Satan's pit to become a legal resident of Tennessee, but as I was taking the trash out back I feel this terrible pinching sensation on my left shoulder blade. As far as I can tell, a wasp decided it would be a great time to crawl up my shirt and stab me, creating a puffy, white circle that felt like someone was digging into my flesh.

And now I will take a shower and then I will go play poker and after that hopefully I experience a relaxed weekend.

....but who knows....

To be continued?

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Life through Breathing

2009-07-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to think about something to write. Not that I haven't had a whole lot of topics on my mind, but every time I try and think about something specific to write about it alludes me. I guess this is 'writers block' but it feels more like being whacked upside the head in a very unpleasant manner. The phrasing I would probably come up with would be 'brainwave indigestion'.

It is interesting to me how sometimes I can think of everything to write about and other times I have (seemingly) no brain activity whatsoever. And I end up erasing what I have begun about fifteen times, all the while telling myself it was a stupid idea in the first place.

I guess I will just list the various topics racing through my brain. Maybe something will come of it:

Music
Racism
Grace
Beauty
Peace
Breathing
Life
Relationship
Loneliness
Depth
Vulnerability
Cruelty
Love
Jesus
Purpose
Smiles
Eyes
Accomplishment
Pain
Reputation
Space/Time
Logic
Faith

That is the list of various topics popping in and out of my head. Of course Space/Time is my nerd topic that I am always poking fun at or exploring in greater depth. But that comes out in various venues, and people often look at me as though I beamed down from a Star Trek convention dressed as a Klingon. *Ahem* Anyhow, everything in that list plays a major role in the existence of my thought life.

Here's a question: What role does logic play in faith? I mean, there are certain ides and concepts that are logical, but if we are able to reason them out fully, it would not seem that much space has been left for faith. I look at the various leaps I have taken over the past few months and know that faith was involved in most of them. How logical is it to quit a job before the complete knowledge of having another job? How logical is it to move out to Tennessee on the promise of a job? How logical is it to be pulled to another section of Tennessee when my job will eventually pull me back?

I imagine the words being whispered in my ear are, "Do you trust me?" And if I let myself rest in that question I know that He will take care of me every step of the way. It may not look exactly like I had planned, but the outcome will be far greater than anything I could have created in my mind.

Does this mean I find no meaning in logic? Well, logically I would deduce that because I can touch your face you are standing in front of me. I think logic is a double-edged sword. Logically I should be aware that if two men are rushing toward me with knives they intend me harm. That would seem to be a great area where logic would be necessary. However, logic would say, 'Don't quit your job without knowing what your next job is or where you will be living, etc.' but faith (usually through promptings from God) says, 'Just trust Me. I've got you covered.'

Obviously we were given logic for a reason, but I think it is a fine balance between logic and faith. Logically, this whole rambling mess doesn't make sense, but it is my rambling mess and I am okay with that.

So how about loneliness? Throughout my life I have been told that the loneliness within me is because there is a hole that only God can fill (a God-shaped hole if you will). Well, I don't think He wants to fill a hole in us like a contractor pushing dirt into a post-hole. If I may be extremely cheesy in my thought process here: He doesn't want to fill our hole; He wants to fill our whole. Yeah yeah yeah...cheeseball antics. Oh well.

We were made to be in relationship with one another. That is the only way this whole thing works. Our secrets breed our loneliness. It may not be the only cause, but it definitely is a contributing factor. Secrets have barbed hooks that dig in deeper the longer we hold onto them. By the time we feel completely alienated by the secret we have held onto, the pain is almost too unbearable to handle.

One of the most common misconceptions about secrets and loneliness is the idea of alienation. I must be the only one as effed up as this. There is no way other people are like me. The lies of our self-consciousness invade our rationality and turn it sour. And once it's sour it takes a whole lot to fix the problem.

Another problem I have found that causes us our lonely is lack of vulnerability. We too often confuse weakness with vulnerability. But this then begs the thought process of who to trust. I don't trust very many people with my deep-dark, and that lack of communication/fellowship sinks loneliness into my heart. We have all become so strong and have been told to be 'strong' that when trials come our way we don't want to 'burden' other people with our problems or end up sounding like a 'whiner'.

We rationalize to ourselves the reasons we shut ourselves off from the people who care enough about us to let us be who we need to be at that moment.

I know I do that. 'I just feel like I am constantly whining. Other people have it worse off than me, so I just need to man up. They don't really care about my problems.'

I could keep wandering down this rabbit trail forever, but I will try to cut to the point of it. We can't let our pride dictate our vulnerability. The walls we put up are barriers to keep ourselves in safe havens where nothing can affect us.

Let me try to bring this into a final thought: Loneliness is a self-inflicted state of being, brought on by our unwillingness to participate in a healthy relationship that brings to light all of our dysfunction. Whether it be our secrets or our pride, the things we leave in the dark make us lonely.

Of course there are far deeper thoughts involved with this concept, but maybe that is for another blog...maybe the next blog.

Well, that's what seemed to want to come out today. I hope there was some semblance of order within all the paragraphs. I welcome questions of any kind to create discussion.

Tada...

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

New Set of Lyrics

2009-06-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is something I wrote earlier today.

The Short End of the Stick

I filter the thoughts running through my head
Choosing the ones that I want to stick with me
Inevitably I end up with the lies instead
Making me into someone I don’t want to be

I end up…

Trading favors for debts
Trading nothing for less
Falling apart at the seams
Falling apart in my dreams

I watch through my glasses tinted black
Trying to feel my way through the dark
Waiting for all of my bones to crack
Looking for the scars to leave their mark

I end up…

Trading favors for debts
Trading nothing for less
Falling apart at the seams
Falling apart in my dreams

I’ve been looking down for so long
I didn’t realize
Something was terribly wrong
With my eyes
I wiped my glasses clean
To my surprise
I found a brand new scene
It was a brand new me

Trading favors for debts
Trading nothing for less
Falling apart at the seams
Falling apart in my dreams

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Here I Am

2009-05-25T13:15:00.001-07:00

So I haven't posted anything on this blog in about 5 months. Whoops. And what I am posting today will probably seem cheap, but let me ease back in. Sheesh.

So here are the top 10 bands I am listening to right now...in no particular order. I will be back with more interesting and pertinent (maybe) stuff later. Until that time...enjoy:

1. Dream Pilots
2. Future of Forestry
3. Crystal Method
4. The Doves
5. Tyrone Wells
6. Matt Nathanson
7. Alexi Murdoch
8. Josh Threlkeld
9. Everly
10. Death Cab for Cutie

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

New Blog

2009-01-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

I have created a new blog to post my lyrics and lyrics that I really like and find inspiring and such. The blog is: www.catharticlyrics.com

I hope you enjoy. Maybe even follow it. So yeah,

~Nicho

The Driving Adventure of the Season

2008-12-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

Friday Night:

10pm: Drove to Burbank airport to pick up my friend Tim from the airport. He flew down to drive back up to Oregon with me.

Saturday:
9am: Woke up and packed myself up to prepare to the journey ahead.

12:30pm: We head out on the 101 North toward San Francisco. The drive is fairly uneventful until we reach San Fran.
6:30pm: Arrived in SF and tried to find the hotel where Alex was staying. Eventually (about a half an hour later) we are successful. On this particular night in SF there just so happens to be thousands of people milling about and driving around, making it quite difficult to get to our destination.
7:00pm: Finally get to the hotel and meet up with Alex. We walk down to the mall and eat delicious Thai food for dinner after searching for an open table for nearly fifteen minutes. It was so busy that we had to be quick on our toes in order to snag a table where the previous patrons are just standing up.

8:00pm: Head over to Union Square to check out the Christmas Tree and ice skaters. We made sure we got our free hugs on the way.

We hang out for a bit, take a couple pictures and take in the scene.

8:30pm: We leave Union Square and figure we will drive around SF to explore the city and see if we can't find Lomba

rd Street (particularly the zig-zag part) and Fisherman's Wharf. So

we drive around for quite a while and end up finding our way up to Coit Tower.

This is on the famous Telegraph Hill. The view from the tower is absolutely amazing.

We decide we can't leave without having a little oddball fun, so of course we document our enjoyment.

And then we found this:

This is what we have dubbed El baño de muerte and I will explain. We were walking around and saw this ovalish room that intrigued us, so we went to check it out. It turned out to be a bathroom and when we approached it the door shut...with no one inside. And the little display said, "Occupied, please wait." Again, no one was in the bathroom.

So it remains closed and Tim hits a button on the side of the room. Suddenly the lights go out inside and an automated female voice starts talking. It was too muffled to make out what she was saying except for at one point where she says something about "Put your hair under *muffled* to wash it." And then we notice there is a red light flashing inside. The lady stops speaking and a few minutes later the door suddenly opens. The lights remain off except for the flashing red light. At this point all three of us are a little freaked out and looking for the hidden cameras. Suddenly the door starts to shut and a loud siren sounds. We walk away and an elderly couple walks up to the bathroom and it acts perfectly normal...like a real automated bathroom. Of course.

So we leave Coit Tower and find our way to Lombard Street and zig-zag our way down the street, all of us thinking we could live right there on that street and be quite content. We also decide it would be a good idea to drive down the steepest streets in SF, which were ridiculously steep.

We were on one of these particular streets when this guy on a motorcycle decided he needed to pass us...and flip us off at the same time. Then, he decided he didn't want to be in our lane, so he stopped in the middle of the lane, looked back at us, flipped us off again and then zoomed off down the street. Go figure.

11:30pm: We drop Alex back off at her hotel, sad to say goodbye to her and SF. Definitely the best part of the whole trip. We drive over the Golden Gate Bridge and continue our journey home.

Sunday:

11:00am: We have to pull to the shoulder and put chains on the car, because of what is awaiting us once we hit Salem and beyond. The last fifty miles are driven on pure ice...at thirty miles an hour. And once we get home it starts to snow again.

Thus was the journey we experienced on our way home.

"Two whoppin' bucks!"

Agenda-less Evangelism

2008-08-27T07:12:00.001-07:00

I wish we could all live without agendas. Unfortunately, for many of us, agendas have been ingrained into us at a very young age. Our agendas fuel us, our relationships, our needs, our desires, etc. If this life is truly about relationship and loving God and each other, any agenda you may have screws that up. It puts a taint on the purity of it.

Anytime you are in relationship with someone because of what they might be able to do for you, you have an agenda. Anytime you enter a situation and hoist your flag about an issue that really has nothing to do with the situation you have an agenda. Anytime you praise yourself for what you’ve done or make people aware of what you are capable of it reflects an agenda.

Whether it be the agenda of feeling successful in the eyes of others, or the agenda of getting some goodies, or whatever else, having an agenda is a manipulation of a situation to make it advantageous for yourself.

I am definitely guilty of having agendas. I want that to change, so more and more I am attempting to just ‘be’ with people. I am learning that I don’t have to convince people of anything. I don’t have to hang around power and influence in order to pick up the ‘benefits’; I can just exist in a relationship with someone because of respect for the wonder of who they ‘are’.

For instance: I “attend” a “church” (Jesus club) where there are many influential people in the entertainment industry. I am talking about famous actors and actresses, directors, producers, musicians, agents, comedians, etc. I could very easily have an agenda, because I really want to get into the entertainment industry, but I am at peace around these people and I don’t want anything from them other than relationship. I have been invited to go golfing with some people and have been invited to a premiere for a movie and both times something has happened that has prevented it from happening. And although there is that slight twinge of disappointment, it is fleeting, because I didn’t expect to receive these invitations. I had no agenda to try and fish for the invitations so when an invitation is presented it is truly a gift.

What do I mean by agenda-less evangelism? So often we make a plan through a Jesus club (that’s a topic for a whole other blog entry) or with friends or whoever else to go win people over to Christ. And that is in the forefront of our mind when we set off. Our goal...agenda...is to get people to give their lives to Christ. I am all for people turning to God and I believe we are to show Christ to people. I just think that when our agenda of conversion gets in the way of loving people, we taint the relationship we are called to have with people.

If you look at Jesus and the rag-tag group of people that followed him and that he hung out with, not once did he have an Evangelistic agenda. He loved them and showed His Father’s affection to them so they were intrigued into a relationship with Him.

If Jesus would have called out to his apostles to follow Him by saying something about how they needed God in their lives or they would go to Hell (yes, this is a generalization, but often we use this agenda to get people on ‘our side’) I doubt any of the future apostles would have dropped everything and followed Him. Instead Jesus looks out and says, “Hey, you like to fish? Come with me and I will make you fishers of men.” Now that is intriguing. Was Jesus trying to peddle an agenda? On the contrary, I think he was offering a relationship right where each person was. It was agenda-less evangelism.

When you go to evangelize to the world, you don’t have to give Jesus a plug every few minutes. He’s not the latest rapper who has to remind you who he is. By the way you interact with people and love people they will be invited into this relationship you already have with the Father. What you are doing is opening a door and saying, “Hey, the door is open and I want you to meet someone intriguing and wonderful.” And in that way you can turn people on to this concept of a God you are so in love with that you want others to meet Him. And at the same time you are building a relationship with a person instead of making them a statistic.

My favorite comedian has a bit on one of his stand-up CD’s where he says, “Well, I would like everyone to be comfortable tonight, so I’d like to talk to you about Jesus.” Unfortunately a lot of times that is our agenda. If we are living truly in love with God, people will see this.

God says that He has come to live inside of us and as we realize the love He has for us and are able to rest in that, there is no way our physical body can contain His glory. It will come out and people will notice and you won’t have to give a rapper’s introduction for God.

Agendas don’t benefit anyone in the long run. Maybe for a time you feel benefited, but the feeling is tainted and eventually you need to return to another agenda to fill the hole the last one left in you. God is faithful and does not deny you the desires of your heart. You don’t have to manipulate the details to get what God has for you. Live in Him and let Him take care of the details.

—Until next time--

~Nicho

The illusion of access

2008-08-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to old podcasts from two great friends of mine recently. Brad Cummings and Wayne Jacobsen have a podcast called ‘The God Journey’ that I only recently have gotten into. You can find their whole list on iTunes for free. It is worth listening to them. It is very entertaining and informative.

Anyway, back from that small rabbit trail: one of the podcasts I listened to Wayne mentioned the idea of cliques. And he said that it is a clique if no one else has access to it.

And that really hit me, because I have been around clique-ish people most of my life. And the thing I have noticed about a lot of cliques is they give the illusion of access.

What I mean by this is: I have been invited to many events because people want me to come, but once I am there the friends that are the tightest hang out together. I will be acknowledged and talked to for a few minutes at a time, but the energy of the party goes into the core group of the party. They spend almost the whole time focusing on each other.

Now, of course I am not talking about a need for people to ignore their friends, but putting an effort out to the others that are lingering on the fringes of the group. The mindset of a clique (whether it is conscious or not) dictates that, ‘hey, we invited them. It’s their job now to insert themselves into what we are doing.’

Basically, you have done the easy part, speaking the words, and now the outsider has to prove themselves to the group. Are they cool enough, funny enough, smart enough, hot enough, etc. etc. to actually fit in with us. And the principle behind this is very exclusive. It’s like trying to get into a VIP room. If you know someone you might get a pass, but you will still be watched out of the corner of your eye.

And I believe that rarely do people within a clique purposefully attempt to keep outsiders away from them. I think often times the intentions are good, it’s just much easier to relate to the ones you know the best. Throughout all of our lives we are told that relationships take work, so why would I want to work when I can sit around and take it easy?

I would suggest that if you are not willing or able to put the effort out to bring someone inside what you are doing and build a genuine friendship with them, don’t invite them out. That may sound harsh, but look at it from this perspective: If you have something in your life that is blocking your ability to relate to new people in your field of vision (whether that be insecurity or pride or selfishness or laziness or anything else) either let them know that you are working on it (which gives you a first step into vulnerability with them) or don’t invite them.

I have pretty much broadly brush-stroked this idea, so let me whittle it down just a bit: I am not speaking about all circumstances and all people and I am not saying that you have to be best friends with all people everywhere or even very many people at all: what I am saying is, if you make the initial effort to include people follow through on it.

Stop giving the illusion of access and actually let people in.

Sometimes you will discover things about people that you never would know about them otherwise.

-- Until we meet again --

~Nicho

First blog in nearly....since the beginning of the existence of time!!!!

2008-04-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

I think it has been long enough for me to have not written anything on my blog. I would like to get back into this on a more regular basis, but who knows these days. Most of this blog will revolve around the film industry. Movie Reviews and Movie Insights specifically.

To get the movie reviews out of the way: I am going to try and see a movie a week...not to break some sort of record, but to be able to write a movie review a week. Also, if I watch a new movie on DVD I will try and review that. At first my reviews will probably reek of inexperience, but hopefully I can hone the craft over time. Any time I will divulge information in the movie that could be considered a spoiler I will mark the beginning with *Start Spoiler* and end it with *End Spoiler*.

I know a lot of parents like to know what is in movies and without going into great detail I will attempt to help point out what is in the movie that might be a) beneficial to someone and b) detrimental to someone. This will obviously be a work in progress and I hope people read the reviews. My other hope is that if someone has seen a movie I review they will let me know what they thought of the movie. At some point in the future I might even be so bold as to review new music. This, of course, depends on my cash in-flow, so there could be some dry weeks. But I will try to review at least one film a week if not more.

The address for this blog is moviereviewsforallhumans.blogspot.com

I hope you all visit and bring your friends and neighbors and enemies to the sight for some (hopefully) insight. We will see if it flies.

On to more important matters. There is an issue in the film industry that concerns me greatly. I am trying to figure out how this phenomenon was started, but I am still trying to understand how the name Billy finds its way into many, many horror movies. I'm sorry, but Billy is not a scary name. I hear the name Billy and laugh (my apologies to any Billy out there that is reading this); not because Billy is a silly name, but honestly, names like James or Carter or something more neutral belong in horror movies. Let me run down a list of popular horror movies that incorporate the name Billy:

Candyman
Tales from the Hood
Wrong Way
Dead Silence
Deep Rising
Puppet Master II
Friday the 13th Part V
Friday the 13th Part VI
Alone in the Dark (1982)
Creepshow
Creepshow 2
Freak Show
Sleepaway Camp
Dark Water
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Darkness Falls
Predator
Scream
30 Days of Night
Black Christmas
Thir13en Ghosts
The Mist
Final Destination
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Carrie
Zombie Bloodbath 2: Rage of the Undead (okay, so this movie probably just sucked because, but the name warranted me making mention of it...I wish I could get paid to come up with cheesy titles for C-Rate movies)

There are many more, but I don't have the time to look online for them.

So yeah, Billy just doesn't seem like a plausible name for Horror Flicks.

And that's all I got for now.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

On the 3rd week of Cali...come on you know the words

2008-02-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since my last updating, but I figured, why not send the email out at the end of the week instead of the beginning of the week? I deemed it more appropriate to start sending the email out on the weekend for two reasons: a) I have more time on the weekend generally to actually sit down and connect with humans over the internet and 2) This way I can tell you what happened during the week instead of what might happen in the upcoming week. A Pre-cog I am not.

So, week 3 has come to a close and my busy schedule has not diminished. In fact, they have me working forty hours next week (starting tomorrow) at Costco, which is nuts. I will be working there during the day and then doing shipping and what-not in the off hours mainly in the evening times. It will be a crazy week. However, I have a three-day weekend to recuperate.

Part of my recuperation process will be going to Universal Studios on Saturday and bumming around for the day. I got an annual pass for $64, which I think is pretty swell.

Highlights of this week: Barnes and Noble will be putting The Shack on their front table starting soon(ish), which will add to the public exposure it has been getting.

I think our biggest day of shipping out of the office (which is also the house) this last week was 1000-1500 books.

The looks I get from people at the Post Office are priceless. They are all standing in line and I walk in, drop off (sometimes) 30-40 items (boxes and envelopes) and then leave. Usually most of the people are still in line by the time I am gone.

I visited a friend of mine who is attending Masters College and went to downtown LA to visit another friend and last night I hung out with my brother (pretty much) Jesus. So I have had a few people to bum around with every once in a while. The only problem is every one of them is about an hour to an hour and a half away, so I can't be too spontaneous with visiting them.

I was left alone in the office for most of the week doing all the shipping and answering some of the phone calls and responding to emails and actually not getting stressed out about it. It was pretty sweet.

I pulled my first (near) all-nighter. I was doing work for Windblown Media until 2:00a and had to get up at 5:00a to be at Costco at 6:00a. That was interesting. I don't think I concentrated very well at Costco that day.

I am definitely enjoying it down here. It was 77 degrees (yes Fahrenheit...not Celsius or Kelvin) today. I almost wanted to roll out the sprinkler and run through it, but then I realized...wait, in Oregon this would be a typical summer day, in Cali, probably more spring-time. So I will hold off on the sprinkler until later in the year.

I am trying to think if I have done anything really stupid this week that might make you laugh a bit, but I think I've been pretty dumb-free. This calls for a celebration: maybe I'll go eat a cookie or a steak. Sorry, no entertainment on that front this week.

Until we meet again,

~Nicho

Week 2: Busy and...well...busy/2 New Sets of Lyrics

2008-01-30T22:06:00.000-08:00

So this week began my multitasking two jobs at once. It is not too bad really. There are some long days where I basically leave the house after working 6-7 hours to go work 6-7 hours at my other job.

It wouldn't be quite as taxing (see we are in the season so I thought it would be an appropriate word to use) if I didn't basically have to relearn everything in the vault.

I do have to say it was really nice when the warehouse manager came into the vault to welcome me to the warehouse. I wasn't expecting that at all. The one thing that is difficult about being in the vault immediately after transferring is that I don't have much of an opportunity to meet the people who work there. I am the guy who appears randomly and then disappears just as randomly. I am kind of like the West Lake Village ninja (self-titled...for now).

I am really enjoying the job with Windblown Media. There are a lot of nuances to learn, but I am getting the basics down and am now onto bigger and better things, such as invoices and international shipping (is there an emoticon (nerd word) for crossed-eyes?).

Tomorrow night I am going to go see my friend's band, Glen and the Sunshine Gang. If anyone actually takes the time to look them up, don't be alarmed, they don't seriously think they are being serious. However, my friend who fronts the band is quite amazing with music and stuff of that nature.

The sun came out today.

...that's really all I got for that.

I am waiting for you all to come visit me so I can show you around the five square miles I am familiar with now.

Nothing too exciting to convey on this outing, but I'm sure as days and weeks go by more will happen.

~Nicho

PS...The Shack has dropped as low as 43? on Amazon.com (that is out of all books) and as of last week hit the USA Today Top 150 books of the week list. Pretty crazy!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Own Stunt Double

I woke up nothin’ goin’ my way
I knew it was gonna be one of those days
Tripped on my way to the bathroom
Hit my head on the wall
Tried to steady myself with my hand
But knew I was bound to fall

Oh what I wouldn’t give to have a stunt double
On days like these
Somebody else to stumble
Only for one day please

Made my way to the patio
Watched my shadow start to grow
Turned around and ran into the door
Fell into the driveway
There was nothing I wanted more
Then everything to go away

Oh what I wouldn’t give to have a stunt double
On days like these
Somebody else to stumble
Only for one day please

Hindsight is twenty-twenty
The Lord knows I’ve looked back plenty
And the funny thing is
I really wouldn’t want to miss
All the times I’ve fallen

So take your stunt double
For days like these
I’m just gonna stumble
One day at a time please

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Death of Me

I have a disease
I pay too much attention to me
Narcissists unite
We’re clamoring to be free

This is the death of me
Where I cease to be
And let You take over
Only You can set me free

I have a reflection
It’s not a lot to look at
Everyone else goes deeper
But my world is still flat

This is the death of me
Where I cease to be
And let You take over
Only You can set me free

I reach out to behold you
But my hands go straight through
There’s nothing I can do
To tell you what is true
I’m too lost
I’m too alone
I’m too fractured
I’ve turned to stone

This is the death of me
Where I cease to be
And let You take over
Only You can set me free

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Hola from the Southlands!!!!

2008-01-22T22:36:00.000-08:00

I have arrived safely. And what a trip it was:

Sunday after I got off work I went home and packed up all my earthly belongings (or...at least the ones I wanted to take with me) and said goodbye to some friends and family. About fifteen minutes to 9pm my good friend Matt Kramer and I headed out. We stopped in Oregon City to say goodbye to my dad and took off into the night.

I drove the whole way and I only had to stop for two 45 minute naps along the way. It was quite an interesting drive: We hit the Siskiyous and had no problems with them (excepting a little snow on the roads that just slowed us down a bit) and it was amazingly beautiful, even if it was one o'clock in the morning. Somehow the snow lightens up the sky enough to see the beauty of the mountains and valleys (I think God made it that way so everyone could enjoy the purity of snow no matter what time of day or night it is).

Of course, at this time of night, there is no traffic and I was only going 5-7 mph over the speed limit but we seemed to be making incredible time...until the smog (smaug?) hit. It was absolutely incredible. I was afraid that I was going to think I was on the freeway and end up frolicking through the forest toward a meadow or lake in the middle of nowhere. This was when I pulled into a rest stop and took my first 45 minute long nap. When I awakened the fog was gone and it was clear again.

After that I got back on the road and made it another hour-and-a-half before my body figured out that I had tricked it into believing I had gotten much more sleep so I had to pull over again and sleep my other 45 minutes.

We hit random patches of rain the rest of the trip that would last for about a mile and then be gone for an extended period of time. But other than that it was smooth sailing.

At about 1020 miles into the trip we arrived at my host family's house (because I am a foreign exchange student?)...uh...the family that I am living with, we arrived at their house. It was approximately 1:33pm and 34 seconds, but I wasn't really paying too much attention.

We hung around the house for a while and then left again to take Matt to the airport...after getting some In and Out (which is only about 5 minutes from where I live...be jealous Oregon...I am 5 minutes away from greasy bliss) of course. We took the scenic route which takes you through Malibu and Santa Monica, overlooking the ocean. It is gorgeous.

I had to drive Matt to LAX...keep in mind I had never driven there in my life, but I had an excellent map draw...er construct a map (to scale?) that allowed me the opportunity to get to and return from LAX without incident.

My first night consisted of relaxation and getting things (slightly) organized in my new room, which one of the kids very kindly gave up for me. I hung out with the Cummings (the family I am living with) and they are great people. I love all of them. They have made my transition down here very smooth and easy. It is Brad (father), Kelly (mother), Jared (son), Jonathan (son) and Taylor (daughter). I am very fortunate to have met them and be able to spend time with them.

And they are very gracious...even when I went to my future work to pick up some things I forgot at home (I believe they are called intimate clothing items and I was asked to pick up some pictures and proceeded to leave them sitting in the cart when I left. Brilliant work for my first full day down here.

Today was filled with shipping and receiving and processing and brain dysfunction. I learned a lot about how the shipping for the publishing company is handled and I believe I am getting it down. It will take a lot of work to get it all down, but I think for a first day I did all right. Repitition is the key.

Tomorrow night Jared has a volleyball game so hopefully he will dominate. That would be sweet.

Friday is my first day at my other work and it should be cool...as long as I don't forget things in the parking lot anymore...yeesh.

That is it for now. I have nothing more exciting to say. I am enjoying it down here and I hope to explore. I got a Thomas Guide so at least if I get myself lost I can help find myself again.

That's it from me down south.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Hirsute Pursuits and other Endeavors

2008-01-16T00:23:00.000-08:00

You try to turn me on and off
Like a light switch you use too much
You've burned me out for a moment longer
I can't be here to be your crutch

And you fall away so quickly
Like a thief in the night
And you disappear completely
The horizon cannot hold you back

You play with my emotions
They're worn out can't you see
You've run me to the core of my being
Listen to my earnest plea

And you fall away so quickly
Like a thief in the night
And you disappear completely
The horizon cannot hold you back

Before there was time there was a space in between
Where you and I met for a moment or two
And we sat in the midst of the dust
That rose up and caught in our throats
And there was a second
Caught up in a moment
Where I thought this could be
Something

And you fall away so quickly
Like a thief in the night
And you disappear completely
The horizon cannot hold you back

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got my hair cut the other day and I like getting my hair cut...if the barber does their job and keeps to themselves. Getting my hair cut is like having my hair played with; I enjoy it. There is something calming and soothing about it. It allows me to relax and forget about everything else.

So why oh why do I get the barber that 1) has to talk to me throughout the whole cutting (which includes using hand gestures that keep her from actually cutting my hair) and 2) feel it necessary to inform me that her boyfriend is 'Robin Williams' hairy. Honestly? I just met you, lady, and odds are I won't see you for a while. Please do not feel obligated to inform me just how hairy your boyfriend is and then compare him to how un-hairy your ex-husband was. Too much information.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will you join me
In the dirt
I've made an angel
Just for you
Will you stay with me
In my hurt
I've made a promise
Just for you

If I lay here long enough
I can see the world turning
And the shapes shift to shadows
As the twilight is burning

Will you hold me
As I fall
I had a purpose
To follow you
Will you embrace me
As I crawl
I had to surface
To follow you

If I lay here long enough
I can see the world turning
And the shapes shift to shadows
As the twilight is burning

And you breathe your life into me
At the right moment in time
I've been to the brink and back
But you never left my side
And you whispered in my ear
You spoke in rhythm and rhyme
And my whole soul broke open
As though the flesh in me died

If I lay here long enough
I can see the world turning
And the shapes shift to shadows
As the twilight is burning

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have to admit a problem I have. And really I know how to remedy the problem, it's just hard for me. As most of you know my Dad wrote a book called 'The Shack' and it has been getting some pretty amazing endorsements and reviews.

However, there are many people who feel quite the opposite about his book. I have read some of the reviews and comments and I have been shocked by what some people are saying. Some people say the book is being subversive and is non-Scriptural and is trying to create God in our image. There are many other negative 'warnings' away from this book, but one I saw tonight really saddened me: I know that I will pick up a lot of flack for what I say in regards to this book, but I fear what I am reading in excerpts from the book. I am convinced that deception usually will not present itself openly, shouting out in an open square. "Here I am." Rather, deception is just that
"the misleading of a person; the leading of another person to believe what is false, or not to believe what is true, and thus to ensnare him" from Websters dictionary.

If I know a single thing about my dad and all he has gone through, the number one thing would be that he is not deceptive and is not attempting to bring people to a new type of 'religion.'

I realize that everyone will have their opinions, but it is hard for me to read what is being said without cringing. My dad loves people and loves the Lord and would feel horrible if someone really believed he was attempting to deceive them.

The other part of this that hurts is seeing how a few people have responded to these negative reviews. They seem to go straight for the source of the review, the author of the review, and attack them. This seems counterproductive to me.

How do I fix my problem? Stop reading the negative reviews (which seems a little close-minded) or extend grace to the people who have differing opinions just as I would hope they would extend grace to me. AND!!! Know that God is bigger than a review (I have to be honest. God just gave me that one. I hadn't thought about it until just now).

I just had to get that off my chest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peace be with you
Grace be with you
Love be with you
Papa is with you

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

And So It Begins...

2008-01-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

Here is the scoop:

I will be leaving the state of Oregon on Sunday night (January 20) and heading down to Newbury Park (North LA), California to work for Windblown Media and Costco.

As I stated in my last blog, I was down there figuring all the details out and today I was called by the Costco I will be working at and told that my transfer was approved.

This is all coming after a lot of attempts at controlling what I was doing with my life. It just goes to show you how God works when you let Him do His thing. As my new boss/compadre/friend/brother Brad Cummings said, 'This whole thing has God all over it,' and I definitely feel the same.

Here we go on an exciting new journey. I would love to get all of your names, email addresses, home addresses, phone numbers and aol instant messaging screen names so I can keep in contact. My main idea is to send updates and hope you will let me know what you are up to. I will definitely be putting note-worthy endeavors and happenings in my blog as well, so if you want to keep updated that way, just subscribe to my blog.

So that is that. I will see you all around I am sure.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Goin' goin'...back back...to Cali Cali

2008-01-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

So I really can only say that because I have been down to California before for vacation.

Here is the scoop so far: I arrived down here yesterday and after lunch and a few other stops we made it back to the house. My phone rang and it was a number I didn't know. I answered and it was Westlake Village, interested in my transfer request. As of this moment I have no direct confirmation of the transfer, but it is a pretty good bet that it will go through. The other aspect, shipping and receiving for Windblown Media is set and as soon as I know when Westlake wants me to start work I will be headed back down here, this time driving my car and my junk.

I love this area. It feels like it will be a great fit. I have even done a little work while I've been down here. Fun Stuff!

I had other stuff I wanted to write, but I can't remember it right now, so this is a short little blog.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Happy New Year/Wind/Random/Whatever the Heck I Feel Like

2008-01-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

First off I would like to ask a question: Does anyone else have trouble holding a plate upright (aka not spilling your food) when it is dark and you cannot see your plate well at all?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy New Year everyone. This is the time when everyone makes unrealistic demands on themselves and proceeds to not follow through on them just like every other year. But does that stop us? No way. My unrealistic 'idea' (for it was more that than a thought of 'this I must accomplish') was to write a blog every day for the whole year. As you can tell I missed the very first day, so...so much for that plan.

Last year sent me through a whole obstacle course of emotion. I actually only had one job this last year, which is bizarre because I am used to 4 or 5 a year. I visited Canada for a week and relaxed. I made myself sick for a month by worrying about stuff I had no business worrying about. I almost moved into a small one-room summer camp style cabin. And then there is the big news of the year, which I haven't told very many people at all:

A couple weeks ago I was offered a job in California. As most of you know, but some of you might be unaware, my dad recently had a book published and it has been doing incredibly well. It is called The Shack and can be purchased on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, and also is available offline at Barnes and Noble and Borders and the most random little stores around.

The company that publishes my dad's book (note: the publishing company, Windblown Media, was created to publish the book)consists of two people, Brad Cummings and Wayne Jacobsen, and Brad is shipping books out of his basement. He has a regular job and a family and has come to a point where he is becoming overwhelmed with the shipping (he has pulled all-nighters). Also, they are interested in me taking over some of the maintenance of their website (in jolts and stutters I assume).

I will be traveling down to California with my dad on Wednesday, January 9 to figure out the logistics of everything. The plan is for me to move by the end of the month.

And that is my biggest news surrounding this and last year.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So last night a crew of us (Amy, Lexi, Mom, Kristian, Tiffany and I) went up to Crown Point. We parked and the van was literally shaking. I really had no idea what was going on because I was in the back of the minivan and the music was up so loud I couldn't hear anything. Amy opened the front door and both Lexi and my mom reached out and pulled her back in the car. I still was in the dark about what was going on. Here's what was happening:

Poor Lexi lost her hat the second she stepped outside the minivan. And I soon found out that Amy hadn't wanted to get out of the van, when she had opened the door she had been sucked out by the force of the wind. It was ridiculous how strong the wind was.

So we went to Safeway, and I think we had a little too much fun:

I mean:

And then we went home. It was an interesting night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If I could speak in the languages I've heard
Maybe the world would seem less absurd
I crawl in and out of images burned in my brain
I try to find some peace, but it's all in vain

And I close my eyes to catch my breath
But all I see is death
My eyelids serve the unwanted purpose
Of exposing what's beneath the surface

And then I realize I'm not alone
My life's on the big screen waiting to be shown
I try to tear the tape but it moves too fast
And by the time I get away the images have passed

And I close my eyes to catch my breath
But all I see is death
My eyelids serve the unwanted purpose
Of exposing what's beneath the surface

In my silent scream I realign
Just long enough to see the sign
Rest Stop ahead take a break
Please stay as long as it takes

And I close my eyes to catch my breath
But all I see is death
My eyelids serve the unwanted purpose
Of exposing what's beneath the surface

I stop to breathe
I try to leave
You grab my hand
I understand
You break me down
Lay on the ground
And hold me tight
I see a light
Behind my eyes
That burns the lies
Tears start to fall
You are my all
And I let go
And I let go

And I close my eyes to catch my breath
And all I see is you

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stand in the middle of the highway
Stubborn enough to do things my way
I dodge the cars as they pass by
It gets harder the more I try

I stand upon a broken hill
Looking through a window sill
Set within a broken mill
And everything has become still

I lie awake in my bed at night
Blind in the dark with no insight
Cold fingers creep down my spine
And I pretend I feel fine

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, how are you today
Have the strings in your mind begun to fray
Can you let yourself come out and play
Or are the thoughts in your head too gray

This is the dialogue I have with myself
Even though it doesn't help
I'm careful to ignore the voice
Of reason It's treason And I don't care

Welcome back, I've missed you so
You don't mind the distance though
Until you've reached your lowest low
You've resolved yourself not to grow

This is the dialogue I have with myself
Even though it doesn't help
I'm careful to ignore the voice
Of reason It's treason And I don't care

Good afternoon, have you found release
Won't you join me in this peace
Don't worry I'll smooth the crease
I hope your loneliness will cease

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simple and easy
In and out
Up and down
Doubt and redoubt
Simple and easy
Up and above
Over and under
Grace and love

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

First blog of the year, a little of almost everything. And Chad, don't worry, I will return to Warren Words soon.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Maybe if it would snow I would be inspired?

2007-12-26T23:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the words just feel contrite
As though I'm writing to feel all right
And I breathe the stale air in and out
And I can't help but feel some doubt
At my inability for consistency
To become who I want to be

And it can be so cold down here
But you rest your head upon my chest
And I wipe away your one lone tear
And you remember me for who I used to be
Even when there's nothing left to fear
My hands sweat my heart beats rapidly
I feel your presence drawing near
You hold me tight within your embrace

And there's a moment in space and time
Where nothing seems to have a reason or rhyme
I reside in the center of it all
That place is where I felt your call
For me to be consistently
Trying to see what to believe

And it can be so cold down here
But you rest your head upon my chest
And I wipe away your one lone tear
And you remember me for who I used to be
Even when there's nothing left to fear
My hands sweat my heart beats rapidly
I feel your presence drawing near
You hold me tight within your embrace

Why is it so hard to realize
The lies that brought us here
To fear what isn't real
Why is it so hard to understand
Just take my hand
You'll understand where I'm going with this
Why can't we concede
We need the One who heals
And deals in the Spirit and in flesh
Why can't we receive
We leave it up to someone
Who's undone just like we are...just like we are...just like everybody here

And it can be so cold down here
But you rest your head upon my chest
And I wipe away your one lone tear
And you remember me for who I used to be
Even when there's nothing left to fear
My hands sweat my heart beats rapidly
I feel your presence drawing near
You hold me tight within your embrace

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snow drift
Lands on my fingertip
I close my fist
And it melts away

Snow flake
Falls from the sky above
Lands on a branch
Gives hope for the day

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is something about snow that delights me. I love when it falls and I love when it sticks and I especially love how quiet the world gets when there is a layer covering everything in sight. It almost seems as if the snow dampens sound. There is a collective hush all around, and even the loudest yells sound quieter somehow.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pace yourself
This isn't a race
I brought you here
To find grace

Release yourself
To become free
Be vulnerable
And just be

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found a sense of peace
It's my sweet release
I've let everything go
So I can start to grow

And your love-scarred hands hold me tight
Even in the darkest hours of the night
And your love-worn face holds a smile
Papa you are my one desire

I've let go all control
Slowly it makes me whole
Your face stares into mine
I lose all track of time

And your love-scarred hands hold me tight
Even in the darkest hours of the night
And your love-worn face holds a smile
Papa you are my one desire

There's a place
Where we meet
That no one knows about
Our secret place
Just you and I
Don't let the secret out

And your love-scarred hands hold me tight
Even in the darkest hours of the night
And your love-worn face holds a smile
Papa you are my one desire

Hold me close
Hold me close
Don't ever let me go
I take it in
I let it out
Don't ever let me go
You make me smile
You make me warm
Don't ever let me go
Hold me close
Hold me close
Don't ever let me go
Don't ever let me go
Don't ever let me go
Papa don't let me go

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Musings on a bleary-eyed kinda night

2007-12-19T23:58:00.000-08:00

This rain patters at my feet
Puddles in the cracks and overflows
I let out a deep breath and hold it close

It keeps me warm in a kind of way
Like too much heat from a burning building
I hold my breath longer than I know

It is bright where darkness was once
A devil around a corner
That tried to reach the surface and scratch my soul

I breathe in the air and let it soak
My lungs give new meaning to the oxygen

There is forgiveness in this downpour
Take hope from the grace in rain
It washes clean the darkest parts of you

The earth groans under my footsteps
Echo and recall every footfall
It comforts me to hear that symphony

My face falls flat and I let go
Control is no longer mine to possess
And freedom possesses me now

There is depth in the lines on my face
The lines in which the rain traces its patterns

These tears patter at my feet
Puddle in the cracks and overflow
I let out a deep breath and hold it close
These tears aren't for me you know...not anymore

************************************************************************

There is a calm in your eyes
That accompanies my soul for hours

************************************************************************

Reach down
Don't let it out
Don't sell it out
To the highest bidder

Reach down
Don't play me now
Just hate me now
Or love me forever

There is an instant moment
Where I can see you here
The sun is shining brightly
Down on your favorite skin

Play down
The drama
The trauma
Of where you went when the sun went down

Play down
The depth
You kept
Hidden deep within your eyes

There is an instant moment
Where I can see you here
The sun is shining brightly
Down on your favorite skin

The mask you wore was wonderful
It fit you like a glove
But nothing is more powerful
Than the truth behind the love

There is an instant moment
Where I can see you here
The sun is shining brightly
Down on your favorite skin

Reach out
Don't be afraid
It's not too late
To let someone else in

Reach out
Let go your pride
I hope it died
Somewhere along the way

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Wondeful World

2007-12-14T15:43:00.000-08:00

Here are some lyrics for you from James Morrison
This song is so pertinent to how I know a lot of people feel at times. God knows I have definitely felt this way throughout my days.

The reason I like this song is that it is so honest. It doesn't pull any punches. He acknowledges what he knows while at the same time acknowledging that he just can't get to that point in his present state of mind.

I hope you enjoy:

I've been down so low
People look at me and they know
They can tell something is wrong
Like I don't belong

Staring through a window
Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight
I want to be like them
But I'll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in
And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love
It just comes spilling out
It's uncomfortable to see
I give it away so easily
But if I had someone I would do anything
I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won't I won't leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?
Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better
I'd give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter
Oh, we could start again

And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now
Well I thought that I was doing well
But I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world
I can't feel it right now
I got all the right clothes to wear
I just want to cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world
When you're with me

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

That just leaves a distaste in my ears...musically speaking

2007-12-13T22:32:00.001-08:00

I have had a couple conversations about music over the last few days, and I have come to realize something: Everyone likes their own music.

I know many people who become offended if you don't like their type of music. Let me start out by saying that I despise 95% of rap and 100% of country. The closest I will venture toward country is bluegrass. I love a lot of Indie music and Rock and Alternative and Symphony Orchestra and Eclectic and various other mixed genres. I still have yet to identify what qualifies as Emo, but I'm pretty sure I like a little bit of that as well.

But who am I to say that a certain group or style of music is amazing and try to force you to agree to the same terms. What a ridiculous notion. So you like 50 Cent and Akon and the musical genius of such songs as 'Hey bebe' and 'This is why I'm hot.' Who am I to tell you that what you are listening to is worthless? I guarantee you will not be akin to a lot of the music I listen to. I am not a fan of Rascal Flatts or Tim McGraw or the 'dreamy' Kenny Chesney. But that doesn't mean that I am not a fan of 'good' music or I am 'broken.' It simply means that my musical tastes differ from yours.

Here are some bands/artists that are giving me an earful of goodness right now:

Lifehouse
James Morrison
Colbie Caillat
Brandi Carlile
Radiohead
Jack Johnson
John McLaughlin
Switchfoot
Modest Mouse
Muse
Matt Wertz
Snow Patrol
Joshua Radin
Keane
Augustana
Bright Eyes
Adie
Our Lady Peace
Citizen Cope
Future of Forestry
Falling Up
Sara Bareilles
Acceptance
Sherwood
Straylight Run
Silversun Pickups
Shiny Toy Guns
Maroon 5
Michael Buble
Paolo Nutini
Zero 7
Colin Hay
The Cary Brothers

Some bands/artists I listen to because of their lyrics and others I enjoy because of their music. I hear a lot of people complain about a band sounding like another band and that is why they won't listen to them. I think, 'Who cares?' If I like the other band and this band does a pretty good job of imitating them, why not listen to them?

I wish I could have Indie music sent to me so I could listen to them before they become big. It seems that once a band/artist hits mainstream they have sold out. I think of it as them doing a good enough job to get noticed by a mass audience. And I am not one of those people who refuses to listen to a band because they've 'sold out' and become mainstream. If I like a band/artist I will listen to them.

Personal preference.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

God...in a box?

2007-12-08T15:38:00.001-08:00

I have always had this notion that God is somehow bigger than my paradigm. And that has somehow allowed me to not put Him in my box of knowledge. Sure, I've tried to accomplish such a feat, but recently I have broken that box to bits and opened my soul to whatever He wants to throw at me.

I think of it this way, 'If God fit into my box, everything I know to be true about Him is limited by my human understanding.' Honestly, I know I can unconditionally love someone, but I have a hard time unconditionally loving everyone, so my box god obviously cannot love everyone unconditionally. Who are we to limit what God is able to do? God created us in His image, but we've done everything in our power to return the favor.

If Papa were created in our image, He would be fallible and inconsistent and hypocritcal and capable of hate and malice and depression and expectations and the list can continue for as far as our box allows it. I am so glad that the God I love is able to be outside my paradigm and inside it all at once.

I understand and believe so much about who God is, but there still remains the mystery of God. And the mystery is as beautiful as the belief. Previously I talked about mystery.

My dad's book, The Shack, really expands Papa outside of our realm of understanding. He is a personal, loving father whose greatest desire is to be in relationship with us, his snotty-nosed bratty disobedient brilliantly beautiful mess children. Yet there is so much about Him that we cannot understand. But what we can understand and know is more than enough.

I urge everyone out there, whether you believe in Christ or not, to take a look at who Christ is and let Him shape your box. Let Him be the one that defines the shape and size of your box. I am willing to bet that if you let Him control that you will find that the box keeps expanding into infinity.

Control is a dangerous thing to try and possess. Every time I try to control where I am going I am surprised by the obstacles that pop up; most of them completely illogical and irrational. When I relinquish that control the weight of that burden lifts off my shoulders and I can live more freely. Of course there will still be obstacles, but the difference is the obstacles I face when I am resting in Papa's arms are for strengthening, to help me understand a little more of what living in His presence is like. And I have to tell you something, 'I love what I see and feel when I give it away.'

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

And........Action!

2007-12-04T14:15:00.001-08:00

Sometimes life feels like a movie. This can be good or bad. It really depends on the goings-on.

I can hear music and a scene will play in my head. I have come up with movie ideas from a song before. And not that the song has anything to do with the main plotline of the idea, but it sparks a scene, which sparks questions of why would that scene be there, which then sparks an idea for a movie.

I see things around me that catch my attention and sometimes I enter into them and other times I observe, as if I am watching it on a screen. It is interesting how much you can learn about people simply by watching them. That may sound creepy and stalker-ish, but I promise you it is nothing of the sort.

Movies are an escape. They transport us into places we could only dream of going, or places we would never want to go. It is phenomenal that we get caught up in a film. The emotion of the film can bring us to a point of terror or tears, joy or sadness, empathy or anger.

The problem is sometimes we have trouble separating the film world from the real world. We want life to be like a romantic comedy, where everyone wins in the end. We want the world to be filled with super heroes who save us when we make mistakes. We want the justice that is mercilessly handed out without retribution.

And sometimes film imitates life (and I'm not talking about movies 'based on a true story')). I guarantee you that anyone who writes for the screen has personal stories behind everything they write. Maybe it is a small nuance within the dialogue, or maybe many of the events that unfold in the story have actually happened to them.

But I am glad life doesn't necessarily imitate film. Sure, you could coerce situations into taking a route you want it to, but in the long run wouldn't you want your own story?

Maybe your story is filled with heart ache and pain. But somewhere along the line something happens and you find the joy you have been looking for your whole life. Sure, you could read this and think, 'Well, my life sucks. I'm going nowhere and I will never have a fairytale ending.' Maybe you are looking at it the wrong way. Maybe if you took yourself out of your self-pity you might see the sunshine for what it's worth.

Everybody has a story that's worth telling. I don't care how 'boring' or 'mundane' your life is, there is something that is worth telling. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.

Of course, movies are different than life. They wrap up a conclusion in two hours; life takes a little longer to wrap up. I'm glad life isn't like the movies. Two hours later you have that awkward silence of, 'Well, what are we going to do now?'

There is nobody who can tell you how to act or who to be. You have to find your own story. And there are people who will listen to your story. And maybe, one day, they'll make a film and you'll see a piece of your story embedded subtly in the background. It has happened before.

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

The water here is so...flowy

2007-12-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

Honestly the only word that makes sense for any of this blog is the word 'flow'.

I have come to realize that some of my best ideas come from flow of consciousness. Then again so do some of my worst ideas. That is why I have a back up team to make sure I'm not doing something stupid. Although, sometimes I don't listen to 'em even when they tell me I am about to do something stupid.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about life and everything involved. I worry too much. I worry about where I'm headed in life, what other people are thinking, what other people think of me, etc. And I have come to a conclusion: Worrying is our way of controlling our situation (or attempting to do so). When there is an element of unkown, we try to make it known as quickly as possible. It gives us the control we desire.

Think about this: If we had control over every aspect of our lives where would mystery fit into the mix? Where would faith fit into the mix? How bland would our lives be if we controlled every last bit of it?

Mystery is amazing. Mystery helps us grow in faith in God, in man, in everything around us. Bruce Cockburn (pronounced Co-burn) has a song about various thoughts we have in life. And one section of the song is: You can't tell me there is no mystery...mystery...mystery...you can't tell me there is no mystery...it's everywhere I turn. And later he says: And don't tell me there is no mystery...mystery...mystery...And don't tell me there is no mystery...it overflows my cup.

Faith is bred from mystery; the lack of knowledge. We all watch magicians perform their illusions and a part of us wants to know how they do their tricks, but another part of us wants to stay disconnected from the truth because it is more exciting not to know. Someone says they will catch us and we have faith they will. We have no idea of knowing for an absolute fact they will catch us, but we believe they will, so we trust them.

Seventy cans of worms later...

Everything inter-mingles with everything else. Think about it for a minute. Mystery involves faith, faith involves belief, belief involves trust, and the cycle continues.

Love. My favorite. Another part of the song goes: So all you stumblers who believe love rules...believe loves rules...believe love rules...Come all you stumblers who believe love rules...Stand up and let it shine...Stand up and let it shine.

I love people. It is in my nature. I couldn't not love people if I tried. There is something within me that has compassion for people. I want the best for everyone; I hate it when people are in pain. I love to celebrate joyously with someone, and I will mourn sorrowfully with those who are hurting.

Love for me is basic: Never try to see the worst in people, but try and see the best in people, because most people are better than you think. Oh, and trying to judge someone can cloud your love for them. Unfortunately it is hard for me to love openly and freely. I wish I had opportunity to do it more, without fear of retribution or humiliation or miscommunication. Many times I love people without them knowing it; sometimes I tell them. It depends on the person and situation.

How did this flow lead me from mystery to faith to belief to trust to love? They are all interwoven. And this is how my flow goes most times. I don't know where I'm headed and I jump around a lot. I hope you were able to follow my thought processes.

One last thought: If I told you I loved you...could you just accept it?

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime

2007-12-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

'Tis the month. 'Tis the season. I love Christmas. But for some reason I have been anticipating Christmas more this year. I hear Christmas songs and I am not annoyed with hearing them over and over again. I smell seasonal smells and it actually makes me excited.

I have always loved snow. There is something supremely peaceful about falling snow. If it weren't so darn cold I would lie on the ground and watch it drift down for hours. I kind of get lost in it. I really do love it.

I have always been a bundle up kind of person. I would much rather be a little cold, forcing me under a warm blanket, getting cozy on the couch then being in shorts, trying to cool down.

And Christmas is spectacular. I am surrounded by friends and family and I love to see what presents they all receive from one another. I hate to use this word, but it is almost magical. Maybe the word I am looking for is natural. We go through life unnaturally worrying and fretting and being angry and getting upset and everything else, but when Christmas is here it seems people (minus the crazy shoppers who have to get every deal known to man and wait until two days before Christmas to shop) become more natural. They join the current of knowing things are all right and will be all right. Of course, I do not speak for everyone, but for a lot of people winter is more relaxing.

Think of this, during the summer if it is hotter than the devil's eardrum, does anything close? Do people stay home and relax? No. In the winter when it snows the whole city can shut down and there is nothing to do but relax. It lets people get what they need so much; rest and relaxation. We are all in such a hurry to do and be and go that we often forget to just take a breath, calm down and steady ourselves.

Christmas kind of centers that for me. Of course I believe that Jesus is the son of God and came to die for us and that is the reason for Christmas. And if you look at the story of Jesus' birth in the Bible you see that wise men traveled and shepherds rejoiced and animals lay all around the manger and there is such a peacefulness in that scene. Look at all the manger scenes everyone puts out. Everyone is serene and I don't see how it could have been any different in real life.

It is almost as if this time of year I hear a voice whispering to me, 'Calm down. It will be okay. Just rest for a time.' And I really like that voice. Everyone thinks that we have to constantly be on the go to be successful in life, but in the hustle and bustle we lose relationships because we don't have time for them or they are inconvenient. The world tells us that being the best and brightest is the most accomplishing thing in life, but I say being able to communicate with people on a personal level and genuinely caring for others and finding joy in others is accomplishing enough. Just be calm, relax and let it go. Just for a time.

I am not saying quit your job or anything, but I am saying when you are not at your job, when you have a moment, take a breath and breathe in the cold air that smells like snow (or rain in Portland), and think of the people you care about and allow yourself a smile.

Christmas to me is selfless. I love my family and my friends. I really do. And I hope I allow myself the time to slow down, take a deep breath and smile. And I hope that you allow yourself that as well.

*This blog brought to you by stream-of-consciousness. If anything seems disjointed or out of place, sorry, that's just the way it happened. Spread some Christmas cheer.*

--Until we meet again--

~Nicho