Skip's House of Chaos

THROWBACK THURSDAY - "New Year's Resolutions You Can Steal From Dogs"

2021-12-30T08:30:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on December 31, 2013)

(via)

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Jamaica Farewell" (1957)

2021-11-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

Jamaica Farewell

Down the way

Where the nights are gay

And the sun shines daily on the mountaintop

I took a trip on a sailing ship

And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop

But I'm sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down

My head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Sounds of laughter everywhere

And the dancing girls swing to and fro

I must declare my heart is there

Though I've been from Maine to Mexico

But I'm sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down

My head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Down at the market you can hear

Ladies cry out while on their heads they bear

Ackee, rice, salt, fish are nice

And the rum is fine any time o' year

But I'm sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down

My head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Down the way

Where the nights are gay

And the sun shines daily on the mountaintop

I took a trip on a sailing ship

And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop

But I'm sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down

My head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town

Sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down

My head is turning around

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town.

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "At Last" by Etta James (1960)

2021-10-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

At Last

At last

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

Oh yeah yeah

At last

The skies above are blue

My heart was wrapped up in clover

The night I looked at you

I found a dream, that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

Oh yeah yeah

You smiled, you smiled

Oh and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine...

At Last

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "La Vie en Rose by Édith Piaf" (1946)

2021-10-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

La Vie en Rose

[Couplet 1]

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche

Voilà le portrait sans retouche

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens

[Refrain]

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Qu'il me parle tout bas

Je vois la vie en rose

Il me dit des mots d'amour

Des mots de tous les jours

Et ça m'fait quelque chose

[Couplet 2]

Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie

Il me l'a dit, l'a juré, pour la vie

Et dès que je l’aperçois

Alors je sens en moi

Mon cœur qui bat

[Pont]

Des nuits d'amour à plus finir

Un grand bonheur, qui prend sa place

Des ennuis des chagrins s'effacent

Heureux, heureux, à en mourir

[Refrain]

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Qu'il me parle tout bas

Je vois la vie en rose

Il me dit des mots d'amour

Des mots de tous les jours

Et ça m'fait quelque chose

[Couplet 3]

Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

C'est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie

Tu me l'as dit, m'as juré pour la vie

Et, dès que je t’aperçois

Alors je sens en moi

Mon cœur qui bat

[Outro]

La-la-la, la-la-la

La, la, la-la

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "It's Hard To Be Humble" by Mac Davis (1980)

2021-10-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

It's Hard To Be Humble

Back a few months ago, I was headlinin' a great big nightclub... and they put me up a couple days early, I came in a couple days early. And they put me up in what they call the "Star Suite."

Now here I am, headlinin' in one of the biggest nightclubs

In the country and I wake up at eight o'clock in the morning

In this "Star Suite"...

...All by myself

[Crowd:] Awwww!

Yeah, that's what I said, "Awwww"

But I did what I've always done, man, to cheer myself up

I picked up my guitar, I sat down and I wrote me a little song

Now this is how it feels to be alone at the top of the hill, tryin'

to figure out why

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble

When you're perfect in every way

I can't wait to look in the mirror

'Cause I get better lookin' each day

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble

But I'm doin' the best that I can

I used to have a girlfriend

But I guess she just couldn't compete

With all of these love-starved women

Who keep clamoring at my feet

Well I could probably find me another

But I guess they're all in awe of me

Who cares? I never get lonesome

'Cause I treasure my own company

Oh... Lord, it's hard to be humble

When you're perfect in every way

I can't wait to look in the mirror

'Cause I get better lookin' each day

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble

But I'm doin' the best that I can

I guess you could say I'm a loner

A cowboy outlaw, tough and proud

Well, I could have lotsa friends if I wanted

But then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd

Some folks say that I'm "egotistical"

Hell, I don't even know what that means

I guess it has something to do with the way

That I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans

Oh... Come on, where's all the kickers in here?!

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble

When you're perfect in every way

I can't wait to look in the mirror

'Cause I get better lookin' each day

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble

But I'm doin' the best that I can!

One more time, what are we doin'?

We're doing the best that we can!

Give yourselves a hand

Yee-haw!

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Runaround Sue" by Dion (1961)

2021-10-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Runaround Sue

Here's my story, it's sad but true

It's about a girl that I once knew

She took my love then ran around

With every single guy in town

Yeah, I should have known it from the very start

This girl would leave me with a broken heart

Now listen people what I'm telling you

A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue, yeah

I miss her lips and the smile on her face

The touch of her hand and this girl's warm embrace

So if you don't wanna cry like I do

A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

She likes to travel around, yeah

She'll love you and she'll put you down

Now people let me put you wise

Sue goes out with other guys

Here's the moral in the story from the guy who knows

I fell in love and my love still grows

Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll tell ya

Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Yeah keep away from this girl

I don't know what she'll do

Keep away from Sue!

She likes to travel around, yeah

She'll love you and she'll put you down

Now people let me put you wise

She goes out with other guys

Here's the moral in the story from that guy who knows

I fell in love and my love still grows

Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll tell ya

A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Stay away from that girl

Don't you know what she'll do now

Keep away from that girl

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" by Frank Valli (1967)

2021-09-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Can't Take My Eyes Off You

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright, I need you, baby

To warm a lonely night, I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

Don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby

Now that I found you, stay

And let me love you, baby

Let me love you

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you

I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright I need you, baby

To warm a lonely night, I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

Don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty baby

Now that I found you, stay, oh pretty baby

Trust in me when I say

Oh, pretty baby

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Highly Illogical" by Leonard Nimoy (1967)

2021-09-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Highly Illogical

From far beyond the galaxies

I've journeyed to this place

To study the behavior patterns o

Of the human race

And I find them highly illogical

Girl meets boy they fall in love

She says he's everything

She's dreamed of

But when they get married

Before he's aware

She changes his habits

The way he combs his hair

She changes him to someone

He's never been

And then complains

He's not like other men

Now really I find this most illogical

Take the case of your automobiles

Greatest invention

Since man discovered wheels

Hydromatic overdrive

Four-on-the-floor

Pushbutton windows

Pushbutton doors

Double barreled carborators

Rush you any place

But you never can find

A parking space

Highly illogical

Take the case of modern man

He works all his life

Gives it all he can

Saves all his money

Works overtime

Pinches every penny

Banks every dime

All he can think about

Is money but you know

That he can't take it with him

Where he's going to go

Now I find that fascinatingly illogical

Now is the time to journey home

To tell of what I've learned

My people, I believe,

Have every right to be concerned

For in spite of computers

And advanced psychology

Behavior patterns

Are still a mystery

I predict the future

Of this earthly human race

Is that having made a mess of Earth

They'll move to outer space

Well there goes the neighborhood

Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Rainy Night in Georgia" by Brook Benton (1970)

2021-09-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

Rainy Night in Georgia

Hoverin' by my suitcase

Tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night

Heavy rain's fallin'

Seems I hear your voice callin' "it's all right"

A rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

I feel like it's rainin' all over the world

Neon signs a-flashin'

Taxicabs and buses passin' through the night

A distant moanin' of a train

Seems to play a sad refrain to the night

But it's a rainy night in Georgia

Such a rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

I feel like it's rainin' all over the world

How many times I wondered

It still comes out the same

No matter how you look at it or think of it

It's life and you just got to play the game

Find me a place in a box car

So I take my guitar to pass some time

Late at night when it's hard to rest

I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine, I feel fine

But it's a rainy night in Georgia

Baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia

Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world

Kinda lonely now and it's rainin' all over the world

Rainin', rainin' rainin', rainin', rainin' rainin',

rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin'

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk the Moon (2014)

2021-09-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Shut Up And Dance

"Oh don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

We were victims of the night

The chemical, physical, kryptonite

Helpless to the bass and the fading light

Oh, we were bound to get together

Bound to get together

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

A backless dress and some beat up sneaks

My discothèque, Juliet teenage dream

I felt it in my chest as she looked at me

I knew we were bound to be together

Bound to be together

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

Oh, come on girl

Deep in her eyes

I think I see the future

I realize this is my last chance

She took my arm

I don't know how it happened

We took the floor and she said

"Oh, don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance!"

"Don't you dare look back

Just keep your eyes on me"

I said, "You're holding back"

She said, "Shut up and dance with me!"

This woman is my destiny

She said, "Ooh-ooh-hoo

Shut up and dance with me"

Ooh-ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "When A Man Loves A Woman" by Percy Sledge (1966)

2021-08-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

When A Man Loves A Woman

When a man loves a woman,

Can't keep his mind on nothin' else,

He'd change the world for the good thing he's found.

If she is bad, he can't see it,

She can do no wrong,

Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.

When a man loves a woman,

He'll spend his very last dime

Tryin' to hold on to what he needs.

He'd give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain,

If she said that's the way

It ought to be.

Well, this man loves you, woman.

I gave you everything I have,

Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love.

Baby, please don't treat me bad.

When a man loves a woman,

Down deep in his soul,

She can bring him such misery.

If she is playin' him for a fool,

He's the last one to know.

Lovin' eyes can never see.

When a man loves a woman

He can do her no wrong,

He can never want

Some other girl.

Yes,When a man loves a woman

I know exactly how he feels,

'Cause baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman....

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "One More Minute" by Weird Al Yankovic (1985)

2021-08-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

"One More Minute"

[constant "doo wop"s in the background throughout the song]

Aahh

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')

Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)

'Cause you found a brand new lover

You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out)

Of my Rolodex (oohh..)

And I tore all your pictures in two

And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go

Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'

I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new

'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass

Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter

You got me feeling down in the dumps

'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love

And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase

You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two

'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork

Than watch you going out with other men

I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)

Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)

Shove an icepick under a toenail or two

I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station

With my tongue

Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks

Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue

I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with

Double-edged razor blades

Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands

and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die

Than spend one more minute with you

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "Who Put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)" by Barry Mann (1961)

2021-08-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Who Put the Bomp (in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)

I'd like to thank the guy who wrote the song

That made my baby fall in love with me"

Who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

When my baby heard

Bomp bah-bah bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp bah

Every word went right into her heart

And when she heard them singin'

Rama lama-lama lama-lama ding-dong

She said we'd never have to part

So who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

Each time that we're alone

Boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity boogity shoo

Sets my baby's heart all aglow

And every time we dance to

Dip da-dip da-dip, dip da-dip da-dip

She always says she loves me so

So who put the bomp

In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?

Who put the ram

In the rama-lama ding-dong?

Who put the bop

In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?

Who put the dip

In the dip da-dip da-dip?

Who was that man?

I'd like to shake his hand

He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeah)

Darling, bomp bah-bah bomp, bah-bomp bah-bomp bomp

And, my honey, rama-lama ding-dong forever

And when I say dip-da-dip da-dip da-dip

You know I mean it from the bottom of my boogity boogity boogity shoo

TUNESMITH TUESDAY - "High Heel Sneakers" by Tommy Tucker (1964)

2021-08-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

"High Heel Sneakers"

Put on your red dress baby, honey we're goin' out tonight.

Want you to wear your boxin' gloves in case some fool might want to fight.

Put on your high heel sneakers, throw that wig hat on your head.

Honey I know you're gonna get real high, honey I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

Want you to talk to me baby, mama and hold me tight,

Keep on holdin me baby, until you hold me just right

Put on your high-red dress mama, wear your wig-hat on your head

I want you to hold your head kinda high because I know your gonna knock em dead

Put on your white boots baby, pull em up on your legs so high

I want you to look real good, you better even hide your thigh

Lord I want you to call my name this morning, call it sort of sweet and low

And make me think little darling, Lord I'm on the third floor!

Put on your high heel sneakers, wear that wig hat on your head

I want you to raise your dress real high because I know your gonna knock em dead

Raise your window woman, raise it soft and slow

See your man down there could be

You may don't know, anh-uh

Girl I ain't going out that do'

Oh, I see your man downstairs--

Look like your man, how do I know?

Could be yo' man, how do I know?

Put on your red dress baby, wear that wig hat on your head.

Put on that red dress baby, wear that wig hat on your head.

Want you to cock your forty five, in case some fool might want to fight.

Oh I know you're gonna get real high, oh I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

I know you're gonna get real high, I know you're gonna knock 'em dead.

MONDAY MIND GAME

2021-08-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

A guy walks into a store and steals a $100 bill from the register without the owner’s knowledge.

He then buys $70 worth of goods using the $100 bill, and then the owner gives him $30 change.

How much money did the owner lose?

Give up?
Drag your cursor between the asterisks for the answer:

Many people think the answer is 200 dollars. It seems like the owner had $100 stolen, and then had another $100 stolen in the second story. But remember the thief also paid using the $100 bill, so the owner actually gets back $100. The owner’s loss is $100.

Happy Monday, Little Ducks!

2021-08-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

When You Are Old

2021-08-08T12:08:00.000-07:00

This is one of the very few poems I actually took the time to memorize. I first heard it during a broadcast of from the first reboot of The Twilight Zone, called "Her Pilgrim Soul".

When You Are Old

by William Butler Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Copenhagen Catchphrases

2021-08-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

(via)

Here's something cool...

2021-08-08T04:08:00.000-07:00

How To Fold

a Money Plane

A horror story in a single picture

2021-08-08T00:08:00.000-07:00

(via)

Creation

2021-08-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

Why Every Star Wars Film Has the Wrong Title

2021-08-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

The dude has a point. The titles of the Star Wars movies work much better when you swap them around to the film they actually describe.

Episode I: The Rise of SkywalkerEpisode II: Revenge of the SithEpisode III: Attack of the ClonesEpisode IV: Return of the JediEpisode V: The Force AwakensEpisode VI: The Last JediEpisode VII: The Empire Strikes BackEpisode VIII: A New HopeEpisode IX: The Phantom Menace

(via)

The Captain helps the Count

2021-08-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

(Thanks, Miss C)

Honest question, honest answer

2021-08-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

(via)

So much empowerment in one picture!

2021-08-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

(via)