SL degradation diary

Sissy slut training rules

2013-01-15T09:36:00.003+04:00

Yesterday i've seen a picture with a capture "Sissy slut training rule #12....". I really liked that picture. It was filled with humiliating submission for one side and powerful domination for other. And you know i like it very much!
I was highly interested in this picture and searched for all the rules. I found out there is a series of pictures (nearly 100) with such kind of rules. All of them are filled with deep humiliation of man, cuckolding scenarios, black men superiority, etc. I ended reading them all day staying excited, imaging scenes from pictures and feelings i can get, taking parts in those scenes.
After that i thought, that it would be interesting to try in SL.
That's why I wonder, if there are any black guys who would like to try to RP this kind of story? I'd like to try cuckolding from a men side too. Maybe there are some girls who'd like to try it?
If so, please, contact me and we will get along in the SL and try it together.
Here's the link for Sissy slut training rules (new link, working at 2013-06-16).

Short update - I'm alive!

2013-01-15T09:05:00.000+04:00

Hello, I want to ensure you, that i'm alive and fine.

A lot of time have passed since my last post. I'm not an often visitor of SL. But last time i was online i was having fun taking parts in gang bangs. And that was very interesting experience. As a fan of humiliation i managed to get several guys with one girl (me) and have some fun animating different positions and acting according to them.
I liked the feeling of abusive usage of my virtual body by several men, getting pleasure from using me. That's really nice. Unfortunately it's very hard to find several good persons to act in the same time. And that was pissing me of sometimes.
I liked it so much, that I was planning to get some virtual gangbang action (threesome at first) with my SO from real life. But there were some problems with understanding foreign languages.

I've got acquainted with a girl, who love RP of being cut as a pig or a cow. She showed me some places in SL, where special devices and animations for that. It seems a bit weird for me, but she likes it. And i was talking about it with her, asking her many questions about what does she like in it exactly. And she told me, she liked the feeling of deep and absolute submission, acting and receiving attitude as a piece of meat. That can be some kind of humiliation i like too. But i don't like blood and making someone dead even in RP.

As for real life, i'm trying to get more and more BDSM in it. The last achievements are: face-slapping, feet worship and my mouth finger fucking. All that humiliates me and get very aroused.

Why i like tease and denial

2012-09-11T10:36:00.000+04:00

First, let me say i'm fine. It was quite a long time, since my last post and that time was full of events, but mostly not online. Main direction concerning BDSM is my further moving into setting it up in real life. I have not been online for quite a long and pipped inside SL just to see, if it's still going :)
I've got a RL partner, whom i'd like to control me. It's not that easy to achieve it with a vanilla partner, but i do my best to develop Dom side in my significant other. But let's come back to tease and denial.

Last month or so, i decided to try strict tease and denial in RL. I granted the right to permit my orgasms to my SO and stop from cumming when no one's looking (yes, that's my sin!). The result is really worth doing. And i do like it. The main change is surely in growing libido. The more i denied, the less i need to become aroused. Being teased and denied for a long period of time makes me ready for sexual activity nearly all the time. And what's more, i'm ready to try more and more different things.
For me, the main magic of a denial is in a moment, when you've been close to orgasm, but everything stopped and you are calming down. My sly mind start playing in a game, when i'm ready to do anything, just to have another chance to come to the edge and maybe orgasm. This is the moment, when i can be suggested to try some things, that i would never do previously. Hope some day someone will use this feature of mine for their pleasure.

Another wonderful thing in denial is the exhaustion after a long session, when edged a lot of time, denied all the time, tortured, humiliated (if you were lucky) and finally moved yourself into a state when you are full of hormones and other blood chemistry, like you've had an orgasm, but without actual orgasm. In this state you are laying flat, unable to move, moaning and shaking a bit with a white noise in you head. Extremely wonderful emotions.

On the other hand, when i permitted orgasm, it is good most of the times, but after it i feel some emptiness and some kind of loss and a bit emotionally depressed. And that's another argument for denial for me.

As there are some followers and readers, i'd like to ask do you like T&D and if so, what do you like in it and why? I'll be glad if you share with us.

Tattoos

2012-04-11T23:26:00.002+04:00

Tatto can be like this... or much more complicated.

Life is going on. Unowned life. Second life is not a place i spend much time in. But still i've got what to tell.
Last time i've acted, i was told to earn money for the tattoos with some humiliating writings over the body. I really tried, but failed. I thought a bit and wondered if it's hard to make tattoos myself? I googled a bit and tried several times.
Finally i've got templates for different parts of avatar body. As i'm good at editing photos. So very soon i produced several humiliating writings over my body.
And now i offer o make tattoos to anyone. I'd like to make them for free, but unfortunately, uploading images into SL costs lindens. But i think that a 20$L for a tattoo is a fair price for it. Not 150 for a set of 2-3 tattoos, i've seen somewhere.
So, leave your ideas in comments and i'll call you in SecondLife for details.

The smell

2012-02-09T23:39:00.000+04:00

Not the one i write about, but alike

Life is still going on. Not so much time in SL, but a lot of efforts to move to real life. Sometime those efforts bring new, sometime strange sensations.
Today i've entered office restroom and stopped. There was a discrete smell of sperm there. We've got several separate rooms, so men and women use the same rooms (but not at the same time :) ). So there can be something just have been done there.
I was trying to sniff the place, where the smell comes from. I did it behind the closed door, but still it seems so silly sniffing here and there everywhere in the rest room.
Unfortunately i didn't found the place with the most strong smell, everywhere is seemed the same. But i was thinking about for the rest of the day.
Later i understood, that it can be a smell from some cleaner or something like that. I think i just must have more sexual attention, to prevent thoughts like that :-)

Hope to write something else soon.

Submitting to a timelock

2011-09-01T10:50:00.001+04:00

Working at home I had a big problem of disturbing myself by desire to read BDSM web sites. Sometimes I just couldn't stop myself doing it. It was a big problem, “eating” a lot of my time. So I had to protect myself from my own desire (as there was no one by my side powerful enough to order me).
After some kind of research I've got a filter on my computer to cut out myself from adult sites. It's small and very easy thing to deal with. I'ts called "K9 Web Protection". It's free and just enough to pull the leash as a reminding. And this post is not about internet security :-)
The filter setup is protected by a password. To have no access to the setup I generate random password (15 characters long) and set it. The image with password I crypt with a Time Lock tool (it crypts images for some time)

So now I set a new password every day, crypt it in the morning for all day to have no access to adult sites during work hours. And in the evening I get the password and can spend some time, reading them. Setting different parameters of the Time Lock can make life easier or harder. One day, for example, random addition to the time made me wait until nearly midnight to have some minutes of unrestricted web surfing.

This scheme seems so good:

I have to spend all my time working.
The fact of limitation makes me feels submissive during the day, and I really need it.
The fact that a dumb computer has a power over me adds humiliation, and that’s what makes it all even more exciting.

What's even more interesting, the scheme (setting an unmemorable password and then crypt it for some time) can easily be added by another person. Other person can set TimeLock parameters, can even keep a key and give it when he decides I deserve it. With some additional configuring a remote person can even has an access to the filter setting directly, so he can change the password and parameters without me even knowing it.

Maybe you can think some other ideas about this scheme? Feel free to share.

PS. Oh, I think I really need someone to submit to. :-)

At the wall...

2011-04-21T22:19:00.022+04:00

At first, I must confess and thanks Miss Eve. Her SL training and degradation has some effect in RL on me. Yes, after all those words she told me about me, my nature and my place in SL, somehow my RL perception changed a bit (a bit?). From time to time I feel a need of some RL action and they become more and more wild every time.

I can remember the first anal experiments several years ago. Now it seems I really need something inside my rare. There are many more examples, but today I want to tell about some public actions. I'm not an exhibitioner, so I don't want someone to see me.However a thought about sexual activity in a public place makes me very excited.

I swim regularly. And sometimes locker room and a room with shower cubicles are absolutely empty (but there always a chance for someone to come inside). However there's a WC with a lock on the way from showers to the locker room. That gave me an idea of some semi-public activity I can afford myself.
One day I felt horny and decided to go to the WC room, and has an edge (I'm not permitted orgasms in RL) there. It was wonderfully disgusting and so humiliating: standing there before the toilet bowl and understand that everything you want is to scream and shake in a powerful orgasm and you has no permission for it. I must confess -- I liked that feeling *blushes* *blushes* *blushes*.

Some time later I repeated it once again... then one time more, standing on my knees in the WC room, feeling all the smells of the room, hearing some people washing and going behind the door, imagine myself abused and forced to do it, feeling myself dirty, small and useless (I hate self mindfucking, but sometime it can give a lot of additional emotions).

Today I was at the pool, as usual. I had no mood for swimming, so it was not like a sport training, but just a peaceful flowing from one side of the pool to another.


I had to stop, put on clothes and move on.

After time was over, I went to the locker room. There was no one there. I felt a warmth of incipient arousal inside me. I was in the locker room and I decided to edge right there. I start pinching my nipples and very soon my breath became hard and quick. I was rubbing myself, trying to be quiet. At some point I made a step back and pushed my bottom to the cold tile wall. To make it even more sensitive, i leaned forward to touch the wall only by my ass. That gave another wave of arousal. I imagine someone's cold body touching my bottom, penetrate me, making me full of lust and desire, without any emotions in himself. I felt myself so disgraced. I looked at myself from the side: heavy breathing, leaned forward, legs spread, ass pushing to the wall, hands rubbing the most sensitive spots with a strong desire for an orgasm inside, ready to fuck anything, including a cold wall to fulfill the need for release. At this moment I had to stop touching myself to prevent orgasm. A quite moan of disappointment came out of my throat, as i understood that there are no touches for me left and I have to put on clothes and move on....

PS. I see a trend of my feelings at the pool locker room and I'm afraid how far will it get.

PPS. Picture source is another blog.

Things I like in the SL

2011-04-20T20:23:00.001+04:00

As a training of this girl starts, Mistress Helen Schapira show her as a powerful and demanding person. She underlines that this girl is not only a pony, but a slave, that matters. And as a slave, this girl must behave and be treated certain way.
In spite of this girls begging Mistress disabled her IMs (I was having a conversation with a person, who seems to be a prof. in humiliation). Mistress banned this girl sex activity in SL, and you know it always was hard for me*winks*.
Finally, Mistress gave her slave a task to make a list of things slave likes the most in SL. She mentioned, that those things she will take away from me as a sign of my enslavement or as a punishment, if she will want to do so.
I asked Mistress about a deadline of this task, and she told, that it must be ready, as soon, as she'll see me. That's why I have to avoid SL, until this task is done. And that's by it's own is a kind of punishment :-)

I broke the list to 3 groups:
SL only related things:
- I like sitting, listening to the group chats, reading profiles. It can be interesting and you can meet interesting people there for chat or even some actions.
- I like chatting with people on different kink topics.
- I like meeting people and have some RP or action play (not with everyone, but there are some realy good RPs)
- I'm fond of looking to profiles, groups descriptions, etc., searching for some new SIMs, where I'v never been to.
- I like to visit new SIMs, explore them, maybe act a bit in them. After that I add them to my Favs., or leave them and forget about them. When there are no new SIMs to visit, I revisit my favorites, starting from the most old ones.

Semi RL
- I like to use SL as a kind of a break while i work, it makes my mind a bit clear from working thoughts and problems

RL
- SL makes me sexually excited often... and periodically i can't stand from touching myself in RL... *blushes* and I like it in SL anyway.

Ok, I think that's all. Now I'm ready to come back online and see Mistress Helen Schapira :-)

To everything...there is a season - turn, turn, turn... (c) The Birds

2011-04-18T19:07:00.008+04:00

After some time of inactivity, problems with RL, researches in SL and RL. I'm back to SL (finally). To move further, to learn more about myself, to develop my submissive side, to learn more about myself as a submissive.

After a period of wandering through SIMs, chatting with people and making new friends, I've met a strong willed person: Mistress Helen Schapira. It happened accidentally, as many valuable things happens. I was moving through a SIM with a lot of ponyplay stuff. And on one of the circle I've two women and a ponygirl. One woman was telling another what she need to do, going round the circle. Her tone of voice was calm and steady, but at the same moment demanding and leaving no space for misunderstanding or disobedience. That was Mistress Helen Schapira. I came closer and watched them for a while... them Mistress Helen asked if I was interested in ponyplay, I answered, that it's nice, but I'm not a fan... however, when she learned that I want to try and have some gear, she told me to wear it and after that there were no chance to say "no" for me (her manner of speech just make me obey for some reason). Very soon I was running in the circle, listening to the clicks of Mistress whip.
I thought a lot next day... I definitely liked the way Mistress Helen treated me and addressed me. There is something in her manner of speech, absolutely hypnotizing me, it makes me want to obey her. And finally, I asked Mistress Helena, if she'd like to take me as her pony-slave for a trial period of one week And she agreed!
That's how it came so, that I'm owned again.

(I submits Miss Helen Schapira in stables of PPP)

I have no idea of what Mistress is planning for me as her slave. However, she has Gorean experience and has tendency to treat and address me a bit Gorean style. Maybe she will train me for it? I don't know and submit to her choice and will. And that make my submissive part spread wider inside my mind (what a pleasant feeling).

PS. Mistress Helen Schapira is not against this blog, so, hope I will have more things to share with you here.

The last talk

2011-02-15T13:05:00.034+03:00

Today, Miss Eve told her decision on her property fate.
But to start from the beginning, it must be said that whore offered Miss Eve to broaden her domination to some parts of whore RL too (doesn't it seem very natural?). Whore wrote a document, terms parts of RL, where Miss Eve has all rights to guide whore, and some parts, that can be called limits and hard limits.
Miss Eve agreed to think about it and vanishes for some period of time (RL deals, you know). Whore was busy with RL for some time too.
Finally the talk took place.

To make story short, whore has to say that Miss Eve thought a lot and taking in consideration some RL aspect of whore's life (changing RL life, and it's changing with the help of Miss Eve too), Miss decided to let whore free in RL. Even more, Miss Eve made a decision to let whore free in SL too.

So, from now on, this whore is not a property of Miss Eve any more (*sighs and sobs*) and is absolutely free SL person.
That's it. That's the end of this beautiful story of SL degradation.
At list for this time.

I hope, after some rehabilitation time I will continue my way toward deep humiliation, as I feel a deep need in it. Maybe I'll find some owner, who's interested in such an experience. Maybe it will be some short stories about different adventures. Who knows?!

However, I hope this blog will not die.

PS. If some of readers has any ideas, offers or something -- you are welcome to leave your contacts in comments -- I'll contact you in SL.

Emotional mix

2011-01-16T14:12:00.003+03:00

Today was a very peculiar day (night, to be precise).
Whore had a free day in RL and spent a lot of time reading different blogs, forums about all BDSM aspects. In the evening Miss could came online to see her property. Miss wanted to talk to whore and asked her different question, whore told Miss her SL story (from the very beginning): about her unowned period, about some experience with banishment, and all whore's owners.
After that Miss lead whore back to a playroom. Whore was alone at that moment in RL and asked if she can wear RL clips or even play with herself (that was the first time whore asked permission for playing in RL). Miss was surprised (whore was surprised with her own question too). Miss told whore to put clips and pass course 2 times in a row before it.Whore passed, not for the first attempt, but has passed.

(new course picture)

Miss granted whore a permission to play with herself, but demanded to describe what was going on in RL. Whore offered Miss to guide her in playing and Miss agreed.
Miss started slowly and didn't want to be quick, however whore was already horny. Miss leaded whore telling how and where she must touch herself, how hard and so on. Whore tried to react as quickly, as she could. Miss grins doing it and put remarks like: "It suits you whore" from time to time. That made whore blushing, but very-very horny(RL). Finally whore was rubbing herself fiercely, moaning out loud and humping on her chair. For some RL reasons, (whore limits) Miss can't permit whore to have an orgasm (and whore can't grant it to herself too), that's why whore had to stop herself at the edge.Whore was shaking from desire and lust. Whore wants only one thing -- more stimulation. But Miss Eve told to stop and whore couldn't disobey.
All that was so unexpected, strange, humiliating and at the same time excited and delightful. Miss told whore to pass the course one more time and whore did it reeling from side to side(SL) with shaking hands on the mouse(RL). But whore made it from the first attempt. After that whore begged for some more touchings, but Miss denied and ordered whore not to play with herself one more hour. That was hard for whore and so wise for Miss, as the first 10-50 minutes from the edge are filled with the desire most of all.
After that Miss talked to whore for some more time and discussed what had happened. Figured out, everyone enjoyed the "incident". And that made whore hope for continuation some day.

After logging out from SL, whore thought a lot about what had happened. And how it can effect her RL. Finally whore concluded, that it has positive sides:

Whore should be guided and limited in playing with herself in RL and now Miss can do it, if she'd like to, of course.
Whore deals better with orders from some other people, then with selfmade decisions and ordered by Miss whore can be more often denied, then before.
Now Miss can influence not only whore's avatar in SL, but also RL person and even (oh, God!) make some RL punishments for RL and SL faults (for making whore better property in SL and better submissive in RL).
Miss, knowing now much more about whore, didn't move away from whore and seemed even liked what is going on.
Miss has more opportunities and directions to develop her... mm... relations with whore.

But there are some negative sides too:

Whore has some moral responsibilities in RL and should be very careful not to brake or make harm to them.
Whore should now be very careful, as mixing RL and SL can lead to something bad (but can be a way to something very good too!!!)

And now, whore has a real mix of emotions inside: desire to continue and see what will this lead to, fear from unknown and unexpected (but really wanted) RL power exchange.

New goals, old ways

2011-01-13T00:35:00.002+03:00

Whore was not writing much for the last several weeks.
There were holidays and a lot of thing to do before and after them.
Miss Eve seems to have nearly the same and whore had not seen Miss for a long time (just could exchange offline messages and rarely chat online with out any time for full actions)

And at last, she managed to meet her property. Whore was very glad. Main news were: an addition to the whore's training course (sorry, have no picture at a moment), and that Miss has changed her mind about her property degradation.

Miss told that, degradation was not really her kind of things, but she doesn't refuse the ownership, but wants to treat her whore another way. What way? Well, Miss told (as whore could understand) more traditional way for slaves and will try to make this whore suitable for being proud with. Miss said that some day (not a close future) she will go out with her property back to the public (whore was not in public SIMs for several months already).

However, Miss mentioned, that whore's place will be at the floor and not an inch higher.

After all that, whore was left alone and had some time to think about all those news.
Whore really wants Miss Eve to be proud of her property and to be better, but has no idea how to do it. That's why whore thought about it and here's the list of things whore thinks she can (and maybe must?) to improve:

Do her best to complete every Miss' order.
Test and (hope) prove (practically) whore's devotion and faithfulness to Miss Eve.
Make less writing and grammar mistakes.
Learn to answer short and clear
Learn not to make a lot of talking here and there (be quiet, until is asked directly)
Learn to feel her place and state every second of being near Miss and even without her.
Develop submission in any kind and sense Miss wants whore to do it.

Task done

2010-12-18T23:51:00.000+03:00

Today whore had finally complete Miss Eve task, that was given to her at 23/10/2010.
Whore had build a table, where a person can be locked, stuffed it with a script, working exact Miss Eve told. And today whore had finished a story, that includes some BDSM actions with an object like that.
Frankly speaking whore had planned much longer story with a bit longer plot, but finish it will be too long. That's why whore posts today the first part of it. Hope you will all like it.
Please, feel free to comment (whore will try to correct spelling and all other mistakes in it).

Not to make a mess in this blog, whore has made a separate page for this story. The story is called "Jane"

Old course, new conditions

2010-12-11T19:20:00.005+03:00

For the last week whore was rather busy at RL work and has not much time for SL. Nearly the same Miss Eve had. Whore still can't overcome her desire to train passing the course Miss build.But today whore tried to motivate herself for better performance.
First whore wants to tell, that she feels herself really horny due to some RL reasons. And an idea flashed in whore's head, while passing the course -- add some RL addition to push whore make course without mistakes as much times in a row, as she can.Whore likes a mix of pain and pleasure, and she saw 2 clothespins, that's why whore decided to put them on her nipples and play a game with following rules:

Thanks for a picture to this blog

1. Whore will wear clips, until she will pass course without mistakes for 4 times in a row.
2. For every mistake whore will squeeze her breasts with clips (that really hurts!)

For the first several mistakes whore had to hurt herself and start to count passes from the beginning. Finally whore managed to achieve her goal and get clips off.

That made whore so excited and aroused, that whore couldn't stop herself from telling about it to Miss Eve and ask her to include RL clips into some SL actions. After very intent look, Miss agreed.

PS. for the last week whore added herself 1 extra pass to every goal. Last time whore had to go 8 passes in a row (starting countdown once after a failure on the 6th pass).

Out of mind...

2010-11-30T23:00:00.063+03:00

It was really a hard day. Well, not a day, but all the period of time (for the last week or too). And today was just a mind blowing one. However whore had nearly half an hour to stay online and automatically launched SL and wrote Miss about her abilities and time.
It seemed, that Miss Eve came very quick, or maybe whore's mind just couldn't keep pace with the time. Miss started with her usual manner, setting things and parameters for her property: put bits and bridle on whore, remind her that she has no permission to talk and will be punished, if she will. Whore could only nod, and that was not only because she had no choice, but there was no strength for something else.

Then Miss started to making plans on what she's going to do with whore, whore nods, trying to get the meanings of her words, deeds and gestures. Everything was in some kind of mental fog, thoughts were starting and breaking not completed. Some words were coming to whore through that fog, some were left there for eternity. One time Miss phrase cut the fog: "Remember, you are mine, whore", and whore manged to focus her eyes on Miss and nods confidently, but then fog came back.

Miss decided to ask whore questions and punish her for every wrong or not correct answer. Whore hoped that it would be a training to her to give a direct answer with less words, then usual. But Miss started with a simple question, that needed whore to strain her mind just a bit: "Three basic values in BDSM?", whore tried to think, could remember them in her native language, but could translate only two of them, and completely failed to watch quickly into the vocabulary.

But that was nearly the end... fog in the whore's mind was getting dense and whore hardly could understand anything that was going on not only in SL, but in RL too. Whore understood that it was her last chance to move to the kennel, because some minutes later she would fail to do even this. Miss asked something else, whore answered something, they moved to the couch, but that was just like in a dream, very sticky hard dream... and finally whore could find strength to ask Miss to let her log off. It was a moment, when whore's world (RL first of all) screwed in something abnormal, frightening and disgusting. Whore needed to do something with that, alone. That's why whore made all excuses she could and ran to the kennel. A moment in kennel before logging off was painted in a color of safety and peace. But there was a whole screwed ugly world around whore to fix. And whore logged off.

PS. World was screwed and ugly all that night and fixed up only after a good sleep. Now whore is fine, and very busy with her job.

New point of view

2010-11-25T12:04:00.085+03:00

Last day whore came online for some small amount of time and felt an urge to pass through the dog-training course. Whore just can't resist and spent next half an hour running over and over the logs, jumping over walls and passing through tube and tumbler. Whore found out some specific things about her movements (whore can move only on all four of her laps) and behavior of some parts of the course. Whore found out the action made by a SPACE button while movements. Whore was training overall (with no order, with no conscious reason). When time was over, whore wen to her kennel and understood she really likes what she were doing and she was doing it to perform better before Miss next time.

Some days after the "next time" came. Miss Eve called Alvie to see whore at passing the course. And whore failed. For some unknown reason whore felt very nervous and unsure and felt from the log between two high object at first, and then missed a the last log (leading to the ground). Whore felt awful, nearly crying. As whore was in ML whore didn't look up at Miss Eve or Alvie... Miss was not satisfied with whore's performance too, but gave whore another chance and on the third time whore passed the course completely without mistakes. That makes whore a bit more happier. Whore even afford herself to look up at Miss Eve and Alvie.Whore saw a picture like this (see below):

(whore's new point of view)

And whore understood how right her position was. Whore feels no right to look at others otherwise, then upward. The feeling was intensified by the fact, that Miss Eve and Alvie were discussing something about this whore, without not even mentioning this whore presence. Like talking about some animal or even an object (and that's again very near to the reality for now).
Oh, it's so had to describe the mix of feelings from that moment. Here's just some of them:

joy and happiness from completing the course, completing Miss order, being near Miss
humiliation from being lowed to the ground and being muted, and restricted to ML,
arouse from being humiliated and having nothing to do with that,
even more aroused from being aroused from such awful and shameful things,
submission to any decision of Miss Eve and
readiness to complete any Miss Eve order

Alvie has something else to do and leave very quick after that. Miss Eve lead this whore to a skybox (a fireplace) and had a talk with her. Yes, Miss Eve removed bits and bridle (with chat restrictions) and asked several questions. One of them was how whore feels about getting a OC Collar back. And whore felt really nothing about that and answered just common words about submitting to any Miss decisions. That was a mistake, as Miss wanted to get a direct answer about whore feeling. And after some tips from Miss, whore finally answered: "Whore feels ready for that, Miss". That was the answer Miss liked, but as it was said not at once, Miss decided to lock this whore into the cage for a 30 minutes, to have whore think about her style of answering (yes, it's a huge problem, as this whore can't answer short and direct, always writing a lot about all questions aspects and some aspect laying close to the subject). Well, maybe it's just another story, and whore will write about it some time later...

Pet's feelings

2010-11-22T23:31:00.006+03:00

Today whore finally met her owner again online (for some RL reasons whore was not online for more then a week). Whore was very-very glad, in spite of she can't say how glad she was, because of bits and bridle and chat restrictions. But hope Miss understood everything by a wide whore's smile.
Miss showed a new training course for her pet (this whore) and ordered to go through it. Unfortunately whore didn't notice the start mark and tried to pass it from the finish. After several remarks from Miss whore felt herself so silly (just like a stupid little puppy *blushes*). At last whore saw the green mark of the beginning and passed through it.
The course consists of a jumping area, climbing log and a log at some height, a pipe, a tumbler (where you can go only over the green spinning line) with a water bath under it, a log to come down to the ground level. You can see it all at a picture right below.

(a training ground for a dog-whore)

But whore must spoil before spin and failed the first pass completely: too long jumps and a fall down from tumbler. Miss demanded another try and that time whore completed the path. After landing to the finish spot, whore came to Miss with the overflowing feeling of happiness from completing Miss command. Whore tried to express it some way, but could only smile happily, listening Miss telling whore was a good pet. The only thin whore thought at that moment was th thought that she has made Miss Eve happy. And that thought was filling whore's soul with pleasure and joy. So whore looked upward at Miss with a happy smile on her face.

Right at that moment Miss Eve said: "I want you to think about something Whore. Look at how you are sitting here, bit and bridle, cuffs on, chasted.Over all, leashed to an owner, nothing more then an animal, not even with behavior. I tell you to do or not to do something, you obey. I want to know how this feels for you whore.". Whore had no chance to answer Miss at that moment (as pet was gagged by bits and bridle). And now whore can answer Miss: "Wonderful!". Whore has no idea how it works, but it works for her and that's absolutely clear. For some reason understanding the fact of all restrictions, total power exchange, absolute control and complete dependence makes this whore want to say something, but not anything particular, want to go somewhere, but nowhere particular and as a result -- whore stands still and silent. And the only thing, that can get whore out of that state is an order of her owner.
This is a mysterious feeling for whore, as she can't understand it, can't analyze it, but can watch it again and again inside her mind (in RL!!!!). And that's whore is thankful Miss Eve for.

PS. Maybe some day whore will find out the source and mechanism of that feeling, but as for now, whore will just feel it and be happy with it. Thank you again, Miss Eve for this wonderful emotional gift.

Dog-whore

2010-11-09T23:09:00.044+03:00

Today Miss Eve said that she'd prefer this whore to be trained as her dog-whore. That means no more milking but dog-training. Miss said, that she's gonna build an agility-course for this whore. And she even showed an example of it's part. Whore tried to pass some part of it, and found out that it was not so easy. But much more easy in the mouselook (ML).
Some words about ML. ML is not handy for chat. That's why whore doesn't use it very often (who does?). Switching to it was some kind of restriction, whore has to make to herself. And after having to switch into this mode, whore felt even more restricted and helpless, then before (having no inventory, teleport, map, names and radar) and very depended on Miss. This feeling was a surprise for whore (she had not felt something like this for a long-long time), but a very pleasant surprise... as whore likes this feeling so much! Another thing ML is good for -- it forces whore to focus all her attention to the SL window, as there's not chat history in it and everything that was said is disappearing after some time from the screen.
All this brought whore to a thought, that ML can mark some mode of this whore's mind (like in the blog of Alternative mindset, where a girl mark her state of a doll by wearing a sepia lens, if whore is not mistaken), mind of a non-human being, a dog or any other animal Miss wants this whore to be. Whore liked this mode so much, that even asked if Misss can lock her to ML (unfortunately there's no such an option in the collar). However, now whore has a new marker of her mind state, and it can be a good anchor (of being in this state, and then even bring whore to this state) and can be used in further whore development as Miss Eve's dog-whore.

Another thing whore has to do now, as a dog -- is to crawl on her knees and hands. That seems very natural for a new state of this whore.

PS. Sorry for this post being a bit muddled, and a bit late. For some RL reasons there was no chance for this whore to post it earlier and be online too. Hope everything will be OK from now on... at least for some time, as whore missed Miss Eve a lot during this period of silence.

Half birthday

2010-11-08T20:55:00.097+03:00

Sorry for not posting for some period -- a lot of things to get care of in "out of internet life". But some days later Miss asked if this whore can be online today (08/11/2010), as it will be some special date. And whore answered "yes, Miss" (what else she can afford to answer?).
Whore wondered what will be special on that day... there were several ideas:

Miss will have some special treat for this whore (maybe including some other people to come to some time)
It will be some special date, like Miss birthday, Whore's birthday (is it???) or something like that

Well, whore was partly right in every idea.

When Miss came online to this whore, She told that right a half year ago Miss met this whore and they get acquainted. So it's a kind of birthday (by half) of their SL relations. Well, that's absolutely true (whore could check it in her blog) and everyone can read about it in the post "Training with Miss Eve Wildmist".
After that day a lot of things have happened. And finally, whore is here, at a place she's now. But this post is not about whore's place in SL. This post is about some gifts Miss favorably gave this whore.

The first thing whore was given -- was a new set of collar and cuffs from dominatech (it's called iControl). Whore is only learning what it is to wear it, and at first it seemed not so comfortable as the OC Collar (especially because of chat commands absence), but hope it's more comfortable for Miss to use it, cause only this matters.
The most impressing thing about this collar was the paragraph from it's manual about total control. It says, that in a special mode of owning, slave can be sold or just given to any other person, having no chance to prevent this (hope Miss will not use it, but whore understands, she has full right for that at any time and without any explanations for this whore). Whore shivered, reading that... and after Miss permission, turn that mode on.

Another gift, Miss Eve gave her whore that day, was a new chastity belt from T&T (Do they have a site to give a link to?). Whore tried a demo version of it later and thinks it's a powerful device, but too expensive for it's functions (most of functions are nearly the same, any collar has). But however, no one can choose gifts, and no chance for a slave to go against the will of an owner.

(whore in her new equipment, listening to Miss Eve)

From this day whore wears all that (and only that) permanently and very thankful to Miss for her attention, attitude and training. And now whore has some new things to learn how to operate.

Pet's place

2010-10-27T22:56:00.019+04:00

Life is going on. RL and SL.
After much talking with Miss Eve, after her reading whore's favorite stories, and some time, Miss Eve decided this whore to make another step toward her real nature of a complete property of Mistress. Today Miss Eve ordered this whore's profile photo and placed it on the cage (another part of that cage is marked with Alvie's picture). After that Miss proclaimed new rules for this whore:

Whore should logg in and off only, placed inside her cage (keeping door closed, but unlocked).
Whore can't use teleport inside the house and should walk up and down the stairs.
Whore can't be inside the house alone and can only pass through it, walking to some other destination (like a skybox, for example)
Whore is now must learn to emote less human way (not hands, head and so on, but only paws, muzzle, etc.)

(whore in her part of the cage)

That's a new place of this whore in the SL.

Wonderful story...

2010-10-25T23:16:00.003+04:00

This day was a busy Monday and whore has to work a lot. Whore decided to let Miss know, that whore will absent online today and logged to SL. For some strange coincidence, Miss was online just at near the place whore came. Whore explained that she's busy with some RL work, but can't stop herself from chatting with Miss working meanwhile.
It's very important for relations (and D/s relations are relations too) to have opportunity and a wish for communication. Whore highly appreciates Miss spending her time, talking to this whore, explaining or asking something. This day it was just a chat, but in some part of it whore was describing what she likes in submission and remembered a story, that she has read several years ago. One part of that story makes this whore's mind blow. Whore told in her own words what was that about and then tried to find this story. At first whore has no success, as she did not remember the names of the characters and any other details. But then whore went to the same site, she had found that story for the first time of her life and found it there. The story was there, but was translated from the English to whore's native language. But knowing the names, whore found it rather quickly.
And now whore can happily share this story with all readers of this blog. Story is called "Loyal Daughter" by cowgirl. Hope you will like the reading.

PS. Whore considers the last page the most powerful and can't read it without getting aroused, horny and submissive.

Building, scripting and imagine

2010-10-23T21:05:00.031+04:00

Today whore has got a new task from Miss Eve. The task is to build some object, so that a person can be placed there (Miss gave a poseball to be placed in the object) and looked like being in shackles. Then whore must make a script of changing this object color into black by clicking on it (if this whore is not far then 5m from the object, regardless how far the clicker is). And finally, whore has to write a fiction story, containing usage of this object.
For that reasons Miss Eve gave whore permission to build in some part of her house and make her inventory accessible.

(a pose of a poseball whore was given)

First of all, whore started to think about an object, that she will build. Whore couldn't found any suitable pictures of shackle, where a person was sitting. So whore tried to think about it herself. Main ideas for it are:

А cage, like a round cage for a bird with bars by perimeter. So person will be locked by ankle and maybe neck.
Another one (whore likes more) is some kind of human furniture. For example a table with a person locked inside, so there's only head above the top. So another person sitting at that table can communicate... or use locked person any other way. Something like in this post. A variant of this direction -- is a bed, where a face of a locked slave can be used as one of the posts, or a pillow or something.
The third idea -- is a kind of a human-toilet or a face-chair. It can be achieved with rotating the sitball and cover legs with some decoration.

As for scripting, whore will read manuals and look at her previous results, as far as whore remembers, script will not be very complicated (maybe changing color of multiPrimed object can be a bit tricky, but not too hard).

The last part of the task -- is the story. Whore has some ideas, but that it depends on the object that will be finally build.

Talk to a stranger

2010-10-21T09:41:00.032+04:00

Whore was waiting for Miss to come online, when an unknown Sir IMed her. Whore replied and phrase by phrase there was a talkю Whore tried to show her manners and be polite with Sir. Sir, who's name is Steve Fugue, seemed be interested in that conversation. Sir Steve was impressed with good manners of this whore and even wrote about it to Miss Eve (hope he did and Miss Eve will be glad to hear that).
After Sir Steve figured out, that whore is owned and strongly restricted, but still can be used by anyone, whom Miss Eve will like to give whore to. That make Sir Steve write something else to Miss Eve (whore has no idea what was that, but fully rely upon Miss Eve clear mind and her love to her property).
Sir talked to whore one more time a bit later. And whore knows, that Miss Eve had a short talk to him. But whore has no idea what are Miss Eve's plans concerning this. And that's a great feeling of unknown future, but 100% assurance in the fact, that Miss Eve will make a right decision.

And there's one more feeling about that talk and Sir's opinion about whore's manners: whore is proud to be interesting for people (for use, talk, or both). Thank you Miss for training (maybe indirectly sometimes) this whore.

A new pet

2010-10-20T23:00:00.117+04:00

Today Miss Eve has got a new pet... but let this whore tell everything in order.

The day before Miss Eve had put this whore on a massage device, that sucked and massaged her breast (what a wonderful feeling it was). And even added one more vibrator to this whore cunt. Unfortunately that lasts not so long.
Unfortunately, whore had to leave that day, but on the next day Miss Eve continued playing with her whore.

She put her on a device with 2 vibrators and run them both. To train whore keep silent, Miss put a banana gag into the whore's mouth and set it up to shock whore's tong every time she's trying to say something out loud. At first it was not difficult, but as whore was coming closer and close to the edge of orgasm, keeping muted was getting harder and harder.

(whore ridding 2 vibrators at the same time)

Finally whore had got shocked from the belt and gag in one time. That made whore cry more, and another shock to her mouth made whore strive hard and shut up. Then absolutely unexpected, Miss took whore's chastity off and let whore have an full-blown orgasm, that made this whore scream one more time and get several shocks from banana gag again. After that Miss seemed to be satisfied. And then she told: "I can make you scream when I want, I can make you have an orgasm when I want, I don't even have to do anything for it" -- one phrase, just a phrase, but somehow, it made this whore feel a strike of submission.Some kind of deep submission, when whore completely understands her place and that makes her ready for everything her owner will order. Rather strange and very-very pleasant feeling.

Then whore was milked by Miss for the first time and even gave some milk. Whore was so glad, that she could finally do it (milk producing). Although it hurts a bit while sucking, but it was still very pleasant. Then whore had to drink all produced milk.

After all that Miss made herself comfortable on the couch and whore was placed nearby on the carpet, chained to the leash post. Miss had put on whore bits and bridle. Whore was not supposed to talk again and can emote not much then an animal can. Miss Eve wanted to ask whore some questions. During that whore could only answer "yes" or "no" and emote in some way. At first it was not easy to keep silent, but as the talk goes on, whore felt very comfortable without right for the words and at the end of conversation acts easily.

Whore felt comfortable, sitting naked, on her knees, before Miss Eve, having no names, maps, TP and inventory access, having no right to speak and no chance to run away. If only someone tell this whore some time ago, she would not believe that person. And whore can hardly believe herself, writing all that now.

And at the end of conversation Miss asked the main question of that day (at least for the whore):

Miss Eve slides a finger briefly through your hair and smiles
Whore take a deep breath in...
Miss Eve: Then a question whore, are you happy like this?
Whore waits a bit...
Miss Eve: Hmm, could you be happy like this
Whore slowly nods...
Miss Eve grins
Whore feels a tear drops from her eye...
Whore looks down...
Miss Eve: I somehow knew that would be the answer
Whore moves a bit forward, but can't move much...
Miss Eve wipes the tear away and hugs you
Whore tries to stay as close to Miss as she can
Miss Eve: I want you to remember what you just answered whore, and to know what you are once again. For it is what you are
Whore takes several deep breathes... and nods
Whore feels more tears came from her eyes, but she looks happily at Miss...

And that's absolutely true feelings. Thank you for all that, Miss Eve.

Long-waited present

2010-10-18T23:27:00.039+04:00

Today was a wonderful evening for this whore.Alvie was a bit free and had a chance to take this whore's chastity off. Oh! What a feeling... whore was not taking that belt for some months already. Whore wishes everyone to try something like that... at least once... just to know what it is.
Some time ago Alvie was surprised with this whore, having 99 of recovery on the Sensations HUD. Whore has got used to that state, having nearly every touch make her horny and easily dripping from even a short play. So today Alvie took whore's chastity off to give whore a release, so long-waited and so many times begged for release.
There's a wonderful wooden frame at Miss's house, that can be used as a solo bondage device, as a posing device, and as a two or three people sex device. Alvie and this whore know this device quite enough, as some we both were used on it in some other SIMs. Once Alvie started touching this whore, whore felt out into the state of desiring more and more, unstopping pleasure, riding on waves of orgasms. From some moment whore started to answer Alvie, touching her and making Alvie to orgasm too. It was a loud action of passion and love.
We were so concentrated on pleasure, that didn't mention Miss Eve's appearance. And even after we did, we can hardly stop from touching each other, and kept kissing .

(whore and Alvie can't stop kissing and touching each other, even, when Miss Eve looks at them)

But after a bit looking at slaves playing, Miss decided to take part and fucked Alvie with her strapon, and whore had to sit under them, catching juices, dripping from Alvie's hot pleasure hole. But Miss Eve would not be a real Miss without teaching something this slaves even in a situation like that. After some hardcore fuck shу suddenly stopped, leaving both Alvie and this whore on the very edge of orgasm, making them beg for continuation. Miss Eve was very generous and granted both some more releases.
This day whore was so relaxed and so satisfied, she wasn't for a long-long time (if she was ever!).

PS. One more time thanks to Miss Eve for permission and Alvie for execution.