Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep!!

Friday Night Fights--Suprise, Magician Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:01:00 +0000

You know, I've never used Doctor Strange in a Friday Night Fight before. Let's face it, true believers--a couple of cats gesturing at each other during a crazy light show doesn't make for the best fight.

Ah, but when you take Strange out of his comfortable milieu?? Then you've got a fight.

Let's head back to the famous Avengers/Defenders war. Dormammu has tricked the Defenders into reassembling the Evil Eye, which will result in his taking over our dimension. Meanwhile, his alleged ally Loki has tricked the Avengers into stopping the Defenders, telling them that the Defenders were looking to take over the world (just a few decades early on that one, Loki!).

So Doctor Strange has recovered his piece of the Evil Eye, and thinks he's home free because he's up against some ground-bound, non-superpowered Avengers:

Oh, Strange, you fool--you fail to reckon on the jungle-bred abilities of...

POW!!!!!!

Spoiler Alert--Strange totally cheats and uses a sleeping spell to get away from the Black Panther and Mantis.

Spacebooger thinks it's totally unfair of me to use Sal Buscema two weeks in a row.

Steve Englehart, Sal & Frank McLaughlin show the power of feet over spells in Defenders #9 (1973).

Now the time has come to vote for my fight. Why? Because I like to win, that's why! So vote!!

Tales From The Quarter Bin--Troll Patrol!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Some days the Quarter Bin makes it all too easy:

Oh, Harvey Comics in the 1990s...Trollinator? Robotroll? Predatroll? Is there any reason to go on reading comics, after experiencing a joy so sublime?

Now lest you think this was just a name...it's time to meet The Troll Patrol!!

And, of course, there are bad guys...and for once, the cover wasn't lying to us:

But wait--there's more!!

Let's take a look at...Troll TV programs!!

Yes....yes, they are...

Despite an essay on the first issue's "letters page" promising us "much more of them" in "future issues," for some reason there never was a Troll Patrol #2. So "the funniest and most exciting concept of the troll phenomenon around" never went on to "reveal more of the incredible history of the Troll Patrol." Damn you, cruel world!!

But don't fret too much. By my watch, we're due for another of the periodic outbreaks of cultural troll popularity in another 3 or 4 years...so there's hope!!

Troll Patrol #1 (and only) was from 1993.

A Shoe-In For My Worst Post EVER!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

For today's post...

...uh...

Dammit, I've got nothing.

So, when we have nothing here at Slay Monstrobot, we usually turn to the finest form of humor--puns.

So stand by, here we go!!

...uh...

Dammit, still nothing!!

Fortunately, we have a little bit of help today:

Yes, that's right, it's our old friend AAU Superstar!!

"Flattens his arch enemy"--get it, flat arches, get it?? Missile-Toe?!? Oh, man, this is going to be good. Take it away, AAU Superstar!!

Uh...OK, those are pretty bad.

Hmmm, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

OK, now I think this commercial is definitely over-promising on what their shoes can do. Plus, the punnery is starting to get painful...

Ahhhhh, stop, please stop!!

Make it stop!! Make it stop!!!!

Phew...no more puns!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn you, AAU Superstar!!!

And that, friends, is why I usually don't let fictional characters write blog entries here...

This ad was on the back cover of All-Star Comics #69 (1977)

Still Again, I Was Completely Robbed Of The Greatest Childhood Ever By Uncaring Parents!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

My parents obviously wanted me dead.

Just look at the example of young Bobby, crusin' the hood on his nifty wheels:

D'oh!! Whatever to do?

Well, there's one perfect solution:

Yes, we're talking about the...

How super was this siren??

"Real police sound"!! But will Mom go for that?

Hells yeah!!

So...

You know, there is no possible downside to having every preadolescent boy in the neighborhood having a Super Siren with real police sound, and blasting that thing every single time they were about to cross a driveway. No possible downside whatsoever.

My parents obviously wanted me to be hit by a car and die...There's no other reason I never received my own Super Siren...

This ad appeared on the back cover of Action Comics #485 (1978)

Manic Monday--Dial C For Child Labor

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

From Adventure Comics #482 (1981), here is the legal release kids had to sign to submit their designs to the Dial H For Hero strip (click to embiggen to full lawyerese):

Also included, on the bottom half, was this fairly...unusual...survey that had to be filled out:

What are your pets' names? What are your hobbies? Where do you go to school? Give us a picture of yourself?

Sorry, but in 2012, that sure sounds like a predator trolling for potential victims. I'm just sayin.' (Of course, DC had a legitimate interest in knowing your siblings' names and ages, and pets, and etc. I can't fathom what that interest may be, but there must have been one, right??)

Anyway, DC owned whatever you submitted, whether they used it or not. But don't worry, kids and parents--if your tyke creates the next Wolverine or Batman, you'll get a nifty T-shirt:

The letters page in the issue notes that their submission files are "filled past the bursting point" with "fantastic characters!" The conspiracy theorist in me can't help but wonder if any DC heroes of the 80s secretly came from those files...oh, I know, I'm just being silly, and I'm certainly not accusing anyone at DC of swiping ideas from children. Still, pulling random kid-designed characters from a pile just might explain Justice League Detroit...

Batman's Greatest Case!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:05:00 +0000

There's trouble afoot in Gotham City:

Uh...if the demand is greater than the supply, shouldn't they just, you know, print more? It's a good thing Bruce Wayne inherited his wealth...

OOHHH-KAYYYY.

From that little vignette we can draw three conclusions:

A) Someone at DC thought it was important to insert editor Carol Fein (in a fairly stiff pose), and mention her by name, into this ad. She was hardly a "celebrity," and it's odd to think that mentioning a particular DC staffer would generate more subscription sales. Curious, to say the least.

B) Uh, Batman, while you drove to New York City, the Joker killed 6 people, Two-Face escaped and kidnapped Gotham's "Twin Towers," and Catwoman stole a huge diamond from the museum. This "case" could have been "solved" by a simple telephone call...no need for a road trip.

Which leads to the inevitable C) Batman is TOTALLY hitting on Carol Fein.

For reference, here is the coupon listing the titles one could subscribe to:

Except for the block of horror anthology titles, not really all that different a line-up from the "New" 52. The more things change...

Ad from Adventure Comics #482 (1981)

Cover Me Saturday

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 13:30:00 +0000

#1) Wow...

...Green Arrow really doesn't like Jim Lee's Justice League costume designs, does he...? (that's the solicited cover to Justice League #8)

#2) Daredevil is one of the best mags on the market right now, stem to stern, and it starts with great covers:

And, as local comics shoppe curmudgeon Josh pointed out to me, the conceit works equally well if you turn it upside down:

Marvel kinda missed the boat by not releasing it that way as a variant cover (or even as the cover to the first part of the story, in Amazing Spider-Man...

#3) Lyingest Cover Blurb Of The Week:

Yeah, right...this is DC, where heroes get to commit universal genocide and walk away with a shrug, a grin, and a "my bad."

Friday Night Fights--Wonder Man Is Radder Than You Think Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:01:00 +0000

It's been a nasty, brutish and short week. So the cure? A Friday Night Fight featuring a loooong knockdown drag-out battle courtesy of one Sal Buscema a Mr. Pablo Marcos.

The situation? Wonder Man has just been revived from the dead (for the first time), and that has left the poor Vision in a bit of an identity crisis. His synthezoid brain was "programmed" with Wonder Man's "brain patterns" (whatever that means). So he's confused, and feeling like an inadequate copy. And when he thinks Simon Williams is trying to make time with his woman?

GAME ON!!!

Now, as we all know, The Vision Is Radder Than You Think. So the fight's over, right?

Not so much.

BWA-AM!!!!!!

If he can take the Vision, I guess that Wonder Man is radder than I thought (at least until Bendis got a hold of him...)

Spacebooger would like me to point out that this fight, which took less than 5 full pages, would have been stretched out to 2 full issues had it taken place in 2012...

Jim Shooter, Sal Buscema and Pablo Marcos give us new respect for Wonder Man in Avengers #158 (1977)

Now, it's time to go and vote for my fight this week. Because if I don't win, I might have to do an entire week of Wonder Man Is Radder Than You Think. And we certainly don't want that. So go vote, please.

Black & White & Blue

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Sometimes you find the most interesting things unexpectedly while spelunking around old comics.

Take Fighting Yank #22 (1947), for example. We've got what starts off as a blandly unimpressive Miss Masque story. As gorgeous socialite Diana Adams, she's attending a costume party...

See, it's ironic, because when she's in her superhero mask, no one can recognize her...but at this party in a "civilian" costume, everybody can, because she's "too" beautiful.

Anyhoo, there's a surplus of one costume...

And then, one of those devils commits...MURDER!! So it's time for Diana to change from one costume to another...

She confronts one of the devils...

And then...

And there's where things get interesting. Because artist Al Camy (sorry, no other credits for the story) portrays the fight in the dark in a very intriguing way...click to embiggen:

Now that was totally unexpected. Suddenly we get all black & white & blue, a minimalist Sin City-style fight scene that I didn't really expect to see in a bog-standard 1947 Miss Masque story. Color me impressed.

Of course, they blow it the very next panel:

Uh, hello--the lights were shot out? What, in 1947 they had self-healing bulbs? The sun came up? You're in the very same room!! Why are we back in color?!?

Well, that's it. No deep points to make. That battle in the dark just kinda impressed me, that's all.

Medieval Victoria's Secret

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

It's ye olden tymes, and King Arthur is leading his men to a sea battle (!) against Saxon raiders. Noble Sir Briane, the Silver Knight, however, must inform the good Lady Tarna that this is a boys only mission:

You can already see where this is going, right?

You know, I can think of two very important clues that should have alerted Briane that this wasn't a "lad."

That's some chain mail, is all I'm sayin'...

From America's Best Comics #26 (1948)

The Daleks Were Right!!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

OK, we're going to get hyper-nerdy now (editors note: "now"?) (snell's note: shut up).

One of the more famous Doctor Who stories was...

The Dalek Invasion Of Earth. It's well known because a) many eerie scenes of Daleks marching through an abandoned London; b) The "what if the Nazis had won WWII" allegory; c) it's the first time one of the Doctor's companions left; d) it was remade into a theatrical movie starring Peter Cushing.

But it's also equally well known for it's naff science. As my friend Siskoid describes the Dalek's plot:

The Daleks' plan is revealed and it is, of course, very much absurd. They mean to empty the Earth's core, disrupt its magnetic and gravitational fields, and replace with a power source to turn the planet into a great, big (gas-guzzling) spaceship.

(BTW, Siskoid is doing a daily Doctor Who review, each episode in chronological order. Go read it, every day!)

Anyway, this is the part where I rise to the Daleks' defense, because the plan was so brilliant, it was actually implemented in the past...er, the future...er, it get confusing.

The Doctor Who story, aired in 1964, was set in 2164 (or, 2150, if you prefer the theatrical version). But let's travel backwards, to a 1952 comic book story, and go forward to the 25th century!! (Oh, my head...)

The Solar System's Space Guard has been alerted to an unusual threat:

After landing to investigate, rescuing a bikini-clad "space article writer," fighting monsters who were really holograms, and finding secret entrances, the discover:

"Outer Spacians"????? Man, this political correctness has gone way too far!!

Upon further exploration...

The world hollowed out?? Can you touch the sky?

Hollowed out the world, installed motors in it, and drove it around the cosmos, and planned to use it to conquer other planets?!?!?

In other words, 12 years before Dalek Invasion of Earth (or 3 centuries after...oh, my head), the Outer Spacians had the exact same plan!!!

The Daleks are vindicated!! The Daleks are vindicated!! We have to stop making fun of their "ridiculous" plan!! They could have used it to conquer the cosmos!! Nothing could have stopped them had they hollowed out the Erath!! Nothing!!!...

Oh.

Never mind.

From Fantastic Worlds #6 (1952).

Space Epilogue:

Manic Monday--Presented Merely To Annoy Siskoid

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:30:00 +0000

From the "Chuckle Time" section in Gold Key's The Invaders #3 (1968)

Manic Monday--A Craven Attempt To Make Me Like Pepsi

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

What do you get when you combine a comic book ad, a rampaging monkey, and Keystone Kops action?

This:

Well played, gentleman. Using a super-strong, bulletproof gorilla to make me like your product...

Ahh, Pepsi still sucks...

Ad from Coo Coo Comics #27 (1946)

Dracula Hates Best Buy

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Someone's grumpy:

[SPOILER ALERT: Doctor Sun was reborn, did return. And he possessed H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot. Yes, Doctor Sun was both a Tomb Of Dracula villain and a Fantastic Four villain. Marv Wolfman was very waste not, want not]

Anyway, c'mon, Drac--some of us could have used those fancy appliances back in 1976...at least have a garage sale or something...

From Tomb Of Dracula #44 (1976)

Dude, I See Colors!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Ah, Sunday morning. Just kicking back, relaxing...

Everyone feeling nice and mellow?

Good, then it's time for...

A GENE COLAN/TOM PALMER SUPER FREAK-OUT!!!!!!

You're welcome.

Spoiler Saturday--Shade #4!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

A fair warning: I'm about to spoil the living hell out of Shade #4. And it's really a nice comic, quite good in fact, and so you shouldn't have the nice surprise spoiled. So if you haven't read it yet, go away, come back after you've read it. The post will still be here...

SPOILERIFIC DISCUSSION to commence after 3 unrelated pictures of The Shade:

3...

2...

1...

Spoilers ahoy!

Anyway, long-time readers know that one of the regular features at Slay Monstrobot is Golden Age Idol, wherein we look at some long-forgotten and (presumably) public domain super-heroes, and try to determine who is worthy of modern-day revival (and potentially immense profits!). Despite my best efforts, though, no one has really taken up the challenge of actually resurrecting these lost heroes...until now.

One of my favorite Golden Age Idols was the infamous Madam Fatal. You can go here to read my full write-up on her. Long story short? Back in Crack Comics #1 (1940), Actor Richard Stanton had his daughter kidnapped by a gangster (and his wife died of a broken heart!). In his quest to find her, he realized that the only chance for success was...to dress up as a elderly grandmother and beat up goons:

He never found his daughter, but he continued to beat up crooks (and show off those great gams) while in drag. And then, like so many Golden Agers, he/she was never heard of again...

Until this week. In a flashback to 1944, The Shade recalls an industrialist whose life was being threatened by Nazi agents. And the industrialist had an...interesting...employee:

And when the Nazis finally strike?

OMG!! James Robinson (with Darwyn Cooke & J. Bone) brought back Madam Fatal!! All those thousands of Golden Age Idol posts have finally paid off!! Now I just have to sit back and watch the dough roll in!!

What...? That's not how it works...? Not even a finder's fee?

Crap.

Anyway, I've got to say, that was a nice grace note, to give some closure to Stanton's story, some 70 years later. This is the James Robinson I love, not the Justice League: Cry For Unnecessary Death And Mutilation guy.

And that's why I'm excited to see him helming the forthcoming Earth-2 series. Think who else he can revive: Airmale & Stampy!! Lady Fairplay!! Red Rube?!? The Marksman?!? Swing Sisson?!?!?!? The Bouncer!!!!! Soon, I'll be rich beyond my wildest dreams!!

Oh, yeah, right. Still, revive 'em all, James Robinson...revive 'em all!

Oh, yeah, this issue of Shade ALSO has Shade teaming up with Vigilante (the cowboy one) against Nazis and a dame. So read it.

Friday Night Fights--Sound Of One Hand Slapping Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 17:01:00 +0000

Sometimes the best fights for Friday Night Fights are the ones that are a little bit...one-sided.

Someone has been sending mystery packages to Batman (what, he has a P.O. box??), including the stolen and mangled bat-costume that Thomas Wayne once wore.

So Batman is taking this pretty personally. And he goes to roust a snitch named...well, his name is Snitch. Really. Which isn't a name you'd think a snitch would want to be known by, because, well, snitching is frowned upon in the underworld. Then again, the guy wears white suits with black shirts and orange ties, so maybe he enjoys the attention.

Anyway, Snitch tries to have one of his buddies cold cock Batman from behind...which goes about as well as you'd expect. Only know, Batman is pissed:

Fortunately...

Moral of the story? Don't mess with Batman when's he's suffering from temporary schizophrenia with paranoid delusion.

Spacebooger is impressed with Batman's backhand...

Len Wein and Jim Aparo answer the Buddhist parable "what is the sound of one hand slapping" in The Untold Legend Of The Batman #2 (1980)

Now, the time has come to go and cast your vote for the best fight of the week. You certainly don't have to vote for me...but really, after reading this, would you want to make Batman angry? So go vote...

The Wit And Wisdom Of Frankenstein

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Presented, without comment, from Frankenstein, Agent Of S.H.A.D.E. #5:

Criminals Are A Stupid And Really Stupid Lot

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

I firmly believe that this story is what they invented the face palm for. Because good lordy, it's got stupid writ large all over it.

The following panels come from Untold Legend Of The Batman #1 (1980) by Len Wein, Jim Aparo and John Byrne. The portion we're discussing in a retelling of the story from Batman #47 (1948) by Finger and Kane. (Yes, I know, if it's retelling a comic story that's already been published 30 years earlier, that's hardly an "Untold Legend." Go sue DC). So we're looking at a Bronze Age interpretation of a Golden Age story. Brace yourself...

Batman had never managed to find the crook who murdered his parents. Then, out of the blue, Commissioner Gordon asks his help in nabbing a minor crime ring boss:

So now Batman can finally put a name to the face--Joe Chill.

But despite being The World's Greatest Detective, Batman is unable to find enough evidence to shut down Chill's operation...

Face palm #1: Weeks!! It took Batman weeks, and he couldn't shut down a smuggling operation!! No wonder Gotham is still so rife with criminals.

The desperate move Batman makes?

Face palm #2: OK, this just might be the dumbest move of all time.

I mean, couldn't you have just gone there as Bruce Wayne and given the exact same speech? Then called the police, tell them you recognized the man who killed your parents, and have him arrested?

I guess you get extra shock value out of the big de-masking. But that doesn't jolt Chill into confessing, to either the murder or the smuggling. And since Batman is firmly in his "Batman doesn't kill" era, you've ended your career (and Dick's, too, obviously), because there's no way this information doesn't go public. And maybe you rationalize that once you take care of Chill, there's no need for you to be Batman anymore. Sure. But...this doesn't take care of Chill!!

But wait...you haven't seen the depths of Batman's master plan:

Face palm #3: You let Chill run.

OK. I'm not sure what you expect of him. But you'll be right on top of him, waiting for that mistake...right?

And the big mistake you were hoping he would make?

Face palm #4: You know, Joe, you could have just said, "Batman's after me!" That should have been enough to motivate your guys. I mean these guys are crooks, who work for you, and they can't wouldn't be too happy to have the Caped Crusader busting up their gig. So the oversharing doesn't really help your cause any. In fact:

Get ready for it...

THE BIGGEST FACE PALM IN HISTORY!

The guy tells you he knows who Batman is, and you gun him down without even thinking to ask, "who is he?"?!?!?!?!?!?

Of course, we should notice that despite the fact that Batman was supposedly following him closely enough to catch Chill making his "mistake," Batman still manages to to arrive only after Chill is shot. Read from a more cynical perspective, it's tough not to leap to the conclusion that Batman set Chill up to die, thus getting revenge without getting his own hands dirty, while preserving his secret identity. Well played, sir.

Then again, who could have predicted that EVERYONE involved would be SO stupid?!?

There's no way to tell right now if this is still canon. Between Crisis One and Batman Year Two and Zero Hour and Infinite Crisis, the Joe Chill origin story has been jerked back and forth so often it's gotten shaken baby syndrome. "Joe Chill was the killer, but he later teamed up with Batman to fight the Reaper! No, Chill was never the actual killer after all, and we never found out who it was!! No, no, Chill WAS the killer, but he was caught that very night!!" After Flushpoint? Who knows what the status of this story is?

And don't get me started on the 1956 retcon that revealed that Chill wasn't really a mugger, he was a hit man who had been paid to kill the Waynes by a Mafia boss, Lew Moxon, and Chill deliberately left young Bruce alive so Bruce would tell everyone it was just a mugger, and when Batman found out and captured Moxon the don had amnesia, so he passed lie detector tests about the Wayne murders, so...

Then Again, Loki's Not Very Smart

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Sometimes, for a god of mischief and deceit, Loki wasn't terrible good (or smart) at it.

Thor has sussed out his latest scheme, and Loki has a...brilliant...plan to get away:

(Do you know how much I love that panel??)

D'oh!!!

Lesson for Loki:

A) When Thor has his back turned, fly away, or transform into something else, or teleport away, or...

B) If you're posing as a pigeon, when someone hurls peanuts at you, EAT THE DAMN PEANUTS!!!

That Loki's Not Such A Bad Guy, Really

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

You know, that Loki fellow really isn't such a bad guy. Sure, he's got this rep as evil and everything, but seriously, it's undeserved.

Take, for example, his first appearance, in Journey Into Mystery #85 (1962). He wants to draw Thor out so they can fight. And the big, evil plan to do so?

Now, really, is that so bad? No one was really harmed, and they've got a great story to tell on reality TV. Plus, while Thor did cure them, he did it by bombarding them with anti-matter particles...so really, WHO is the bad guy here??

In his next appearance, in Journey Into Mystery #88 (1963), Loki has permanently defeated Thor once and for all. So he decides to have a little bit of fun with those pesky humans who supported Thor.

And the monstrous havoc Loki unleashes?

Well, it's a variation on last time. And he's going to turn them back in a few minutes!! So why the panic?? Really, who wouldn't want to be turned into nothing for a few minutes?

Loki's next act? Oh, man, it's really really REALLY evil:

Dude, that's not evil--that's my dreams come true!!

Seriously, a car made of ice cream?!? Bring it on, Loki!!

And if the worst complaint is "dogs are licking my bicycle," well, that's completely a First Midgard problem.

And what does Loki do then? Prepare for the greatest act of terror of all:

Yup, he stopped an atomic bomb from exploding, and humiliated the Soviets! Loki is history's greatest monster, it seems.

Then Don Blake tricks him, turns to Thor, and humiliates Loki. Loki, who turned everything to candy and ice cream and stopped atomic testing.

So again, who is the villain here?!?

Manic Monday--I Have A Massive Headache

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Urrrgggghhhh...
I have a headache, so that's all you're getting out of me today. Except go read I, Zombie, dammit!

Jane Foster--Trollop!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:17:00 +0000

We all know that Jane Foster had quite a crush on Thor.

But it turns out that she wasn't quite as selective in her crushes as you might have thought.

The very first time she saw Loki:

Oh, Jane, you idiot!

From Journey Into Mystery #85 (1962)

Little Known Facts Of The nu52--Superman's Mom

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

I think I was as surprised as anybody to find out that, in the nu52...

Jonathan Kent married the Joker...

I guess we can add ChrisCross to our roster of artists who can't portray a human smile as anything other than a hideous rictus of agony...

From the back-up story in Action Comics #5

And, apropos of nothing in particular...

Friday Night Fights--Faster Than A Speeding Bullet Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 17:01:00 +0000

Just how fast is Superman?

A filthy bastard of a dictator has come to Metropolis for a peace conference, and poor Superman has to be his bodyguard.

Well, a couple of his oppressed citizens have come to kill him, and they're not about to give up just because a Kryptonian is blocking their way. They come up with a brilliant suicide assassination scheme:

One of them will make a suicide attempt, distracting Kal-El, while the other guns down Hassan.

Well, it sure looks like the plan worked...except Superman is, indeed, faster than a speeding bullet--a LOT faster!!

BAM!!!

Your move, Flash.

Spacebooger is hypnotized by the wallpaper design in that hotel...

Joey Cavalieri, Stan Woch and Rick Magyar remember the speed portion of the Superman mantra in World's Finest #310 (1984)

Now you must go and vote for my fight. Why? Look, just because, OK?!?