Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep!!

Self-Awareness Saturday--Journey Into Mystery #

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 26 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Oh, Kieron Gillen...

...if only more modern comic writers felt that way...

From Journey Into Mystery #638

Friday Night Fights--Say It With Flowers Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 25 May 2012 16:01:00 +0000

I'd best warn you up front--this edition of Friday Night Fights is using a LOT of exclamation points, so if you're weak of heart, you might want to avoid this.

Popeye is the world heavyweight boxing champion (really!!)!! But, because Olive is way into Women's Lib (yes!!), and because Howard Cosell was rude to her in an interview (yes, Howard Cosell!!), she's challenges Popeye to defend his title belt--against her!!!!!

Boxing? Women's Lib? Howard Cosell? This must be 1973...

Anyway, Popeye has one big problem going into this fight:

So, as you can imagine, the fight doesn't go too well for the Sailor Man...

Popeye is saved by the bell!! But can he survive another round??

Well, Swee'Pea has an idea...

Hmmm...any comment I make here is going to get me into trouble, so I'd best remain silent.

And speaking of boxing and Howard Cosell and 1973...

Spacebooger is not impressed that I tried to unduly influence his vote with classic boxing footage...

Sadly, no credits are available for Charlton's Popeye #120 (1973).

So now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight this week. Why mine? Because mine was the only fight that was won with love...so go vote!!

Evil Sliders

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

If you looked carefully while reading this week's Batman Incorporated #1, you might have noticed this...

Ho, ho, "Dark Tower," White Castle, get it? GET IT?!?

But perhaps you haven't considered the deeper implications of what Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham have shown us:

Gotham City has a fast food chain based on a Stephen King novel.

Of course it does. Think about it--most of the other chains probably left during the various disasters that have occurred in ~~Gotham's long history~~ the last five years. And you know the Joker wouldn't tolerate any of that Ronald McDonald business in his town. Although, come to think of it, that odd homunculus Burger King they used to put in their TV ads would fit right in at Arkham...

Yes, restaurants based on horror novels by Stephen King might be the best options for Gothamites looking for some yummy quick lunches. But why limit it to just Dark Tower?? The author had a short story titled Lunch At The Gotham Cafe. So, obviously he's invested in the food scene there. Which means there are probably lots of options.

I mean, you know Gotham City has a Tommyknockers, right? I mean, ever since Hooters left, what other options are there?

Firestarter is a good place for some spicy food, and everybody goes to Cujo's on the weekend. And of course, you can't beat Salem's Lots O Bagels (or Salem's Lots O Lobstah)!

And Bag Of Bones might be the best idea for a Gotham City fast food joint ever...

But you might not want to eat at Carrie's...

The Jungle Hierarchy

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Wed, 23 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

So, I'm digging (figuratively) through my collection of digitized comics from Fox Comics, trying to figure out what to read next. And I have soooo many choices. Should I start with...

JUNGLE LIL

Or perhaps I should peruse...

JUNGLE JO

Nah, I don't want any run of the mill jungle folks. I want rank!! I want to know their place in the teeming jungle hierarchy!! And I want some kind of weird trade dress on all my jungle comics!

So how about...

TEGRA, JUNGLE EMPRESS

After just one issue, though, Tegra changed her name (and her hair color...you know how empresses are) to...

ZEGRA JUNGLE EMPRESS

Do you have anything else in a Z?

ZAGO, JUNGLE PRINCE

But this is all very generic. I'd love to know what specific jungle I'm adventuring in. What do you have, Fox?

JO-JO CONGO KING

[Fun fact: Jo-Jo somehow had two consecutive issue #7s, but they seemed to have made up for that by skipping issue #13! Then, with issue #31, the series changed to My Desire: Intimate Confessions. Then two issues later they renumbered, going from issue #32 to issue #3 (!). With issue #5, it again morphed, this time into Murder Incorporated...which immediately went from issue #5 to issue #1 the next month. Next time I'm grumbling while trying to file my seemingly randomly numbered Hercs or Captain Americas, I'll try to remember how good we actually have it now...]

Anyway, kings, princes, empresses...c'mon, Fox, do you have anyone with some REAL rank??

RULAH, JUNGLE GODDESS

Or...

ALL-TOP COMICS FEATURING RULAH, JUNGLE GODDESS

Or...

ZOOT COMICS, STARRING RULAH, JUNGLE GODDESS

I'm guessing she was pretty popular...and I'm guessing that Goddess outranks King, prince and Empress.

So many choices. But you know what? I've finally decided that I want a little Hollywood in my jungle comics:

DOROTHY LAMOUR, JUNGLE PRINCESS

That's an awful lot of jungle comics, is all I'm sayin'. But then again, that ain't so different than having dozens of heroes in New York City or Gotham...

Same Cover Idea. Different Execution

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 22 May 2012 12:30:00 +0000

Just for the record, other people at 1960s Marvel besides Jack Kirby knew how to draw, too.

Which isn't to rip Kirby at all, but sometimes the (justified) worshipful drumbeat drowns out the accomplishments of others.

Take, for example, the Kirby/Dick Ayers cover for Avengers #24 (1966):

It's a fine cover, no argument...but when faced with a similar situation for the cover of Avengers #44 (1967), John Buscema & Vince Colletta turned it up to 11:

That, my friends, is a cover!

Mr. Funky Chicken Parties Like It's 1999

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 22 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Oh, Archie Andrews......don't ever change.

From Veronica #89 (1999)

Manic Monday--Pronunciation Guide

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 21 May 2012 10:35:00 +0000

Somehow, I think this problem is now solved worldwide:

From Avengers #16 (1965)

Grudge Match--Cap's Kooky Quartet Vs. Justice League Detroit

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sun, 20 May 2012 02:09:00 +0000

Serious question about a trivial topic today:

Why is "Cap's Kooky Quartet" so much better respected, so much more fondly remembered, than "Justice League Detroit"?

That question came into my mind the other day when someone was bashing the Detroit era of Justice League. Because, if you think about it, the JLD situation wasn't that different than Cap's Kooky Quartet (henceforth CKQ).

In Avengers #16, Iron Man, Thor, Giant-Man and the Wasp left the team, and Captain America was left to run "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" with B-characters and former villains: Hawkeye, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. In Justice League Annual #2, Aquaman dissolved the Justice League, moved their headquarters to Detroit, and brought in a bunch of new characters: Vibe, Steel, Gypsy, Vixen.

It's easy to pick on both teams--heck, Dwayne McDuffie regular dissed on the weakness of JLD during his Justice League run, and because he wasn't allowed to use DC's big guns, he publicly complained the he was stuck with "Cap's Kooky Quartet...without Cap."

I think that the weakness of both teams are greatly exaggerated. Sure, CKQ wasn't the most overpowering line-up ever. But functionally they were the Marvel equivalent of Batman, Green Arrow, Flash and Zatanna. I think most people would be happy with that line-up, at least for awhile.

As to JLD, people like to focus on "the kids," but they almost always overlook that Aquaman, J'onn J'onzz, Zatanna, and Elongated Man were part of the team, too. So it was never "just" the kids.

Still, if you talk to the average fan, CKQ is going to be held in much higher esteem than JLD. Why? Here's some reasons, methinks:

**Nostalgia: Cap's Quirky Quartet took place in the Silver Age, before most modern fans were reading comics. A hazy mist of "the good old days" has settled over those Avengers days. JLD, however, took place in "modern" times (at least for us old farts--the 30th anniversary of JLD is in a couple of years!). Experiencing JLD "live," as it were, in a more cynical era, it didn't have that nostalgic magic. Plus, a growing comics press and fan presence ensured that every negative thought on the JLD was more widely circulated than would have been the case in the 60s.

**Leadership: Captain America. while not the most powerful hero ever, was one of Marvel's Big Three (at least in retrospect). Aquaman? Not so much. I'm not engaging in gratuitous Aquaman bashing, but we all know how he was regarded by most fans (pre-Geoff Johns, of course).

Plus, the circumstances made Cap more sympathetic. The other Avengers chose to leave, whereas Aquaman haughtily "fired" the rest of the Justice Leaguers. And, to make matters worse, after he had dismissed the "classic" Leaguers for not being willing to commit themselves 100% to the League, he got swept up with personal problems and quit the new League himself.

**Writing: Stan vs. Gerry Conway. 'Nuff said.

**Themes: By using former villains, Stan got to make the quest for redemption a regular part of the stories. By including mutants he brought in themes of discrimination and fitting in. By bringing in previously existing characters to be the "new" Avengers, CQK helped build the spine of the growing Marvel Universe, making everything more connected.

JLD, fairly or not, was not perceived as having any such thematic depth. Many saw the move to "the kids" as pandering, as an attempt to hook onto the coattails of the success of the New Teen Titans. The fact that one of the kids just happened to be a break dancer added to the view of a cynical attempt to cash in on pop culture. (And I'm sure I'm overreaching here, but a character named Gypsy who dressed like Stevie Nicks on a bad day debuting soon after Fleetwood Mac's single Gypsy...OK, I'm just being stupid there...).

I must be fair here, and note that the "newness" of the "kids" has always been exaggerated. Vixen had nearly debuted in her own comic in 1978, before the DC Implosion caused it never to be published, and had debuted in 1981 in a Superman story. Steel was really a spin-off, as Gerry Conway had written a WWII-based Steel series in 1978, which was another victim of the 1978 Implosion. Conway made this "new" Steel the original's grandson. Only Gypsy and Vibe were truly new, and as noted above, there were plenty of veteran Leaguers around during the JLD era.

And thematics aside, Conway and DC should be lauded for putting together one of the most diverse teams ever up to that point...even if that means having to put up with Vibe.

**Length: This will surprise many, but CKQ lasted barely a year. The Pym's rejoined the team in #28, making it a sextet. Hercules came along not much later. Whatever pain and weakness the Kooky Quartet inflicted upon the public, it wasn't long lasting.

JLD, however, lasted for 2 1/2 years. If CQK were a recession, JLD was the Great Depression.

Well, that was an awful lot of words just to confirm--Cap's Kooky Quartet kicked Justice League Detroit's ass.

Spoiler Saturday--I'm With Victor On This One

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 19 May 2012 12:47:00 +0000

In this week's Winter Soldier #5, someone has some questions about Nick Fury's career path:

"Also, Von Doom would liked to know if S.H.I.E.L.D. is an American organization, or an international organization. You really can't have it both ways."

Odds someone high up at Marvel will actually see that these issue are answered someday? Zero.

Spoiler Saturday--Joy To The World!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Sat, 19 May 2012 12:15:00 +0000

Oh, man, what a perfect start to the weekend!! Sunny, mild, a huge pile of comics to read...why, absolutely nothing can bring me down!!

Hmmmph.

Well, of course young Bruce Wayne is a little bit gloomy.

Still, that's not gonna bring me down!! The Justice League is finally fully assembled (see what I did there?), and it's time for some grand super-hero style fun!!

Ummm...OK.

You know, getting picked last for the basketball team isn't really the worst trauma in the world, so when Geoff Johns and Jim Lee seem to equate that childhood tragedy with Bruce Wayne's...I hope Batman punches them. Plus, really, do we need a Superman who has had an unhappy childhood?

(Then again, those two panels of Clark Kent's youth are more than we've had from every other nu52 book combined so far, so maybe we shouldn't kvetch...)

All righty, then, let's press on with modern super-heroic glee!!

Wait, you guys have already covered this part of Vic's life to death. Really, you got nothing else?

I wish the Leaguers could see and comment on each others' "I've had a hard life" flashbacks:

VIC: Man up, Clark. At least your parents came to see your sporting events!
BRUCE: At least you have a dad, Victor. Mine's dead.
CLARK: Shut up, Mr. "No Favorite Color." You were never picked last for anything.

Sigh.

Look, it's a glorious day, and I'm not going to let the "everyone in the JL had childhood issues that motivate their lives as heroes" theme get me down!! Besides, every Leaguer can't have had childhood trauma, right? Right??

Oh, dear...

Oh, well...so much for the happy cheerful day...anyone have some Prozac?

Friday Night Fights--Day Tripper Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Fri, 18 May 2012 16:01:00 +0000

Well, what do you know, it's Friday Night Fights time again, and this weekend, we learn that getting taken out with one punch by Batman wasn't the only humiliation experienced by Guy Gardner in the JLI era.

Post-Invasion (a.k.a. the second-best crossover event EVER) J'onn is looking to beef up the Justice League a bit by getting some old-schoolers to come back on board.

Unfortunately, just as he's pitching to Ray Palmer, Guy is engaging in some embarrassing drunken revelry:

J'onn is not pleased...

Dude...he's still in the room!!

Spacebooger would like it known that he appreciates the irony of the Atom complaining about Guy's immaturity and then responding with a juvenile prank.

Roger Stern, Graham Nolan and K.S. Wilson show how the mighty fall in Power Of The Atom #9 (1989).

Now is the time for your votes, most of which should be directed at me. Why? Well, while the nu52 still has Guy floating around, Ray Palmer isn't an active hero. But, if you all vote for me, maybe DC will be convinced to give the little fella his own series in the Third or Fourth Wave. So vote!!

snell Is Finally Rendered Speechless

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Thu, 17 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

This house ad appeared in all the DC's this week:

I mean...wait, really, because...uhh...of all the things to hard sell, they...ummmm...1990s...Look, I er...well, you know...

Hrmmmmm.

Now THIS Is How A Sidekick Merchandises!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, we saw the dilemma of poor Snapper Carr, the former "mascot" of the JLA who dropped out of school, was unable to find a job, and couldn't figure a way to cash in on his celebrity.

Well, you know who had no such problems? Jimmy Olsen:

And soon...

So you see, Jimmy Olsen is the sidekick who knew how to cash in!!

[SPOILER ALERT: It turns out that Jethro Hale was unknowingly working for Mr. Mxyzptlk, as part of an odd an nonsensical scheme to bedevil the Man Of Steel. And when Mxy was banished...

Awww...

Of course, real people were willing to spend real money on Olsen novelties, so I'm not sure why some real company wouldn't have stepped in to try to meet the obviously huge demand. Silver Age, right?]

Still, no welfare office for Jimmy, is all I'm sayin'...

From Jimmy Olsen #114 (1968)

Snapper Carr Is No Rick Jones

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Tue, 15 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Snapper Carr--what a loser.

I say this not to be mean. But seriously, the guy sets the record for undeserved self-pity.

As a high school student, Snapper helped the Justice League Of America beat Starro. I mean, they make him an honorary member after that--a high school kid who gets to hang with the Justice League, for heaven's sake!! Dude ranked higher on the pecking order than most of the Teen Titans, is all I'm saying.

And yet he decides to throw it all away. Feeling unappreciated, Snapper allows the Joker (in disguise) to convince him that all super-heroes are dangerous, and gives Joker the JLA's secret HQ location.

Yes, that really happened. (And, if you were to ask me, I've decided that that event marks the end of the Silver Age...Not a hoax, not a dream, but the guy who has hung with the JLA since day one betrays them to DC's greatest villain because he buys into "heroes are bad for society". Definitely the beginning of the Bronze Age.)

After that? Well, let his sister Janet narrate for us:

I'll try not to get repetitive here, but after every one of these panels, do a mental comparison with Rick Jones, OK?

Fair enough. But those changes?

"Bull-ticky"?!?!?!

Wait.

Let's stop right here. Your fellow students ask you a few harmless and well-intentioned questions about the super-heroes you personally knew...and you "can't study" and "drop out"?!? I mean, sheesh, someone has the excuse machine cranked up to 11.

Back to the panel...
Really? You couldn't find any job? Not the Post Office? Not a dish washer? You couldn't, say, enlist in the military?? Mowing lawns? Anything?!?

Well, there's only one solution...

Seriously, Snapper Carr dropped out of school because someone asked him if Wonder Woman was hot, and then couldn't finds a job worthy of him...so he applies for welfare? But that wasn't quite down and out enough:

Maybe fame worked differently in the DC Universe.

Rick Jones, after all, wrote a bestselling book about being a sidekick, became a rock star, had his own TV talk show, became sponsor of a support group for former teenage super-heroes, etc, etc.

Snapper Carr, however, just became a loser...

Wait...his address was "disconnected"?!?

And then Carr went on to join The Key and became the super-villain Star-Tsar, which earns double demerits for the ridiculous stupidity of that name.

Over a decade later, they began to refurbish Snapper, giving him super-powers, having him mentor Hourman and Young Justice and join Checkmate and yada yada. And who knows when/if we get the nu52 Snapper Carr,

But man oh man, Snapper will always be that whiny betraying loser to me.

These panels were all from Justice League Of America #150 (1978)

Manic Miggsday #11--Love, Mercury Style!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 17:00:00 +0000

So Mr. Miggs has saved Betty Barton's circus from the mafia. And he's decided not to kill everyone on Earth to make room for Mercury's colonists. All's well that ends well, right? Not so much...

Hmm...it's not like this plot development wasn't telegraphed several posts ago. Still, let's play along, shall we?

Ahem...Oh, dear, whatever will happen now?!?

And back on the now-safe Earth?

Thank you for indulging my wallow through Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #10--Love Conquers All!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:30:00 +0000

Well, the deadline has finally come. Mr. Miggs must press the button in his ~~magic~~ science vest that will wipe out all the humans on Earth:

Luckily for us...

Awwww....

But wait. What about the wrath of Mercury's Queen? And will Half-Nelson McGurk ever find love?

Tune in for the riveting conclusion...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #9--Miggsy Don't Need No Stinkin' Vest!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 16:01:00 +0000

So Mr. Miggs goes for the final confrontation with the gangster who've been threatening ~~Clint~~ Betty Barton's circus:

Dudes, he's from MERCURY!!

I tried to warn them...now, what would be a good ironic punishment for these guys?

Oh, dear...

Don't worry...we're not done yet!

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #8--Don't Mess With The Vest!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:30:00 +0000

Mr. Miggs may resemble a mere man from Mercury, but dudes, you don't want to mess with him.

For example, when some goons try to roust him...

But, of course, mobsters never give up. And, just as importantly, circuses never seem to have adequate locks on their cages. So...

A mere gorilla taking out Miggs? I think not!

Ah, but a gorilla is not much of a threat compared to...

OK, that's the most unnecessarily but conveniently specific button ever!!

We're still not done yet!

So, Mr. Miggs is pretty tough with his ~~magic~~ science vest. But how is he without it? Stay tuned...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #7--Love For Miggsy!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:00:00 +0000

So, when you come from Mercury, a planet dominated by strong, domineering women whom you really hate, and you come to Earth, and you have a choice betwixt a strong domineering woman and a more...traditional 1950s version of a woman...well, whom do you think Miggsy is going to choose?

Love for Mr. Miggs!!

But the crooks are still trying to ruin the circus!! And he's still supposed to wipe out all us humans? How can this end well??

Stay tuned...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #6--It All Starts To Come Together

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 14:30:00 +0000

And let the pieces begin to link up...

Mr. Miggs decides that the best place to set up camp to wipe out all life on Earth is at a circus outside a small town in Indiana. And of course, he shows up just as Betty Barton (Clint's long-lost sister??) is bemoaning that her outfit is being destroyed by the Ozzie Barbuti (?) gang, to whom she refused to fork over dough:

Fortunately, Miggs has his ~~magic~~ science vest!!

And then, he rousts the rousters of the roustabouts (yes, I really just wrote that):

Oh, well, that's all we...what? We've barely just begun?? Sigh...Stay tuned, I guess...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #5--All Circuses Are Circuses Of Crime!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 14:00:00 +0000

For all the attention focused on organized crime in the 1950s, it couldn't have been all that bad (certainly not as bad as comic books!!) You see, at a circus "encamped outside a small Indiana town":

Yes, apparently every circus ever was a target for mobsters. Because protection money from circuses is obviously much more profitable than gambling, prostitution, smuggling, drugs, etc. Circuses--that's where the money is!!

Well, sadly, the "Barton Giant Traveling Carnival" (wait...Barton?!? You don't think...?) didn't have the Flying Graysons or similarly well-connected friends to help out, and they didn't have the good sense to visit Gotham City, so...

I'm just sayin', The Godfather or Scarface would have been much better movies had they focused on the circus-related aspects of the mob.

But what does this have to do with Mr. Miggs? And "Half-Nelson McGurk, the world's greatest woman wrestler"?? How does she fit in??

Hang on, guys...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #4--Snappy Dresser

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Well, meek Mr. Miggs is being sent to Earth to wipe out all the humans so that the female-dominated Mercury folks can colonize there.

But how is he expected to accomplish such a feat?

Well, clothes really do make the man:

And of course, by Q's Law Of The Conservation Of Gadgets, all of those buttons (and more) will be used.

For example, when Miggs first arrives on Earth, he's befuddled by Earthly traffic. So...

How will Mr. Miggs use the other buttons? Stay tuned...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #3--Wrong Channel, Buddy!!

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Science Fiction Cliche #21A is when the visitor from a strange world sees something odd here on Earth and assumes that it represents our entire culture, and bases their whole scheme upon that misconception. (A minor variation is when the alien lands on Earth and our protagonist introduces himself as "Smith...John Smith," and the alien proceeds to call him Smith Johnsmith for the entire episode/movie. Because that joke never, ever stops being funny...)

How does this relate to our Mr. Miggs? Well, despite being trusted with finding a new planet for Mercury to settle, he really, really is disenchanted with the domineering women-folk there:

So, of course, when Miggsy turns his televeiwer thingy on to Earth, he sees:

Ah, those "Militant Women Leaders Of America." Whatever happened to those guys?

But you see, Mr. Miggs doesn't understand that this is just some cartoonist's odd view of the nascent women's lib movement. No, he thinks this is what the whole Earth was like in 1956...

Way to go, Militant Women Leaders Of America--you've doomed us all!!

Or have they...? To be continued...

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956).

Manic Miggsday #2--Enter Miggs

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:30:00 +0000

So, we've seen that Mercury is the old gender role reversal planet. Because science fiction, OK?

Still, that has nothing at all to do with us on Earth, does it?

(Still my favorite thing ever... Hey, I hate eliminating local populations too, Miggs!)

Hmmm..."until someone stronger comes along?" Could that be foreshadowing?!?

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)

Manic Miggsday #1--The Sci-Fi Two-Step

noreply@blogger.com (snell) — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:00:00 +0000

You know one of the signs of...ahem...hack science fiction is when their "imaginative" other world is just to do something exactly the opposite of our Earth ways. You know the type:

Picard: But Mr. Prosecutor, a man is innocent until proven guilty.
Prosecutor: Ah, but in our system, Captain, a man is guilty until proven innocent!!
Picard: But that's hearsay evidence. It's not allowed!
Prosecutor, Ah, but on our planet, hearsay evidence is allowed!!

No, I haven't forgiven A Matter Of Perspective for sucking so hard...

Anyway, with that in mind, let us explore what's going on over on our neighbor, Mercury:

See, you can tell it's science fiction...because their way is the exact opposite of ours!!

Sigh...it's going to be a long day, isn't it?

From Forbidden Worlds #42 (1956)