Slaying Life's Dragons

Growing past limiting beliefs

2010-09-29T10:01:00.004-06:00

The more I learn - the more I grow - the more I learn the more I realize the less I know.
Life is about growth and change; constant growth and change. The Universe is ever willing and ready to hand us new growth opportunities. It's as if challenges and life experiences are perfectly packaged for our needs.

The entire point of this mortal existence is to grow and become and realize our full God given potential. It's interesting as we grow and change - to look back at our thought processes before we woke up to a new and more profound reality. Sometimes for me - it's as if I'm looking at someone ele's life. Not mine, but instead a floundering young girl - trying to find her way. Isn't it wonderful that we are given an opportunity to grow and change constantly? We can stay stagnant, regress, or progress in life - the choice is ours. But we are given the opportunity to grow and change and become anything that we choose. Nothing stands in our way but ourselves, and our limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs are detrimental dragons in life. They hold us back from our full potential. If we allow them to control our lives, they create for us a life that is far less than what we deserve or are capable of. Each time that we push ourselves to do something a little scary that is out of our comfort zone, we are challenging our limiting belief. The positive intention of a limiting belief (on a subconscious level) is to keep us safe.

Limiting beliefs create for us a box that we are required to live with in. Going outside the box creates fear because our belief system tells us that we are not safe.

When I come up against fear because of limiting beliefs, I write down my fears. I write down the pros and cons of moving forward with the decision that has caused me fear. This helps me to be more realistic and identify that my fear is actually a dragon that my subconscious is using to keep me safe.

It's important to identify these beliefs and label them for the reality of what they are - simply a fear that is actually holding us back in life. We can choose to either listen to our fears - or slay a dragon of limiting beliefs. Somes fears of course are valid and keep us safe - like not touching a hot stove, or walking in front of a moving car. These are good fears and should be listened to. Writing down the fear is helpful because it allows us to identify if the fear is actually keeping us physically safe, or if it is an unfounded fear that is holding us back from achieving our full potential. Most fears are holding us back. Our common sense tells us when we are in real physical danger, but our subconscious can make us believe that we need to fear moving forward with certain decisions in life. Simply because the decisions are out of our normal box. Stepping out of our limiting box is called growth and it feels SOOOO good.

I challenge anyone reading this - to take the time to identify your limiting beliefs on paper. Write down the pros and cons of breaking free and moving forward through the fear. You have the tools to slay your dragons. Go forth and do it!

Sneaky Dragons

2010-07-03T10:48:00.002-06:00

Dragons are sneaky. They seem to sneak into our lives - right when we thought we had everything figured out. Life is about discovering our dragons, admitting they are there and then figuring out what kind of dragon they are and what their purpose is. Dragons show up time and time again in our lives in various forms. They show up over and over again until we take notice and make a change in our lives. They will NEVER dissapear on their own without assistance.

A dragon is an annoying gift; a chance for us to look at our life and make a change. The trick is to pay attention. It is soooo easy to ignore a dragon and live around it - like an elephant in a room - trying ever so hard to make our life work around this annoying habit, addiction etc. We give so much power to the dragon that the dragon seems to be in charge of our life instead of us in charge of the dragon.

Now, for a moment -think of yourself owning a dog. Imagine yourself allowing your dog to destroy your home inside and out. You allow him to do this because it's just easier than training the dog. Training the dog would take time, patience and effort. You might even have to attend a class or two to obtain the skills to train your dog. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

So why do we allow dragons to destroy our homes (ourselves)? Usually a dragon has been around for so long that it is comfortable. It doesn't necessarily matter that the behavior or addiction is affecting our life negatively - because this is the only life we know. We simply think that this is what life is about. We don't realize that taming or destroying the dragon will create immense peace. Life without the dragon will be so much better. After all, the dragon really isn't a welcome pet like a puppy. We've just been treating it as one.

Taming and destroying dragons is a life time adventure. They don't go away. We just get better at spotting them and eliminating them. As we get healthier we give them less and less power and take the necessary steps to slay our dragons as they appear. The trick is recognizing them because they are sneaky.

A dragon doesn't show up in our lives with an announcement of "I am here!" "Notice me!" I am here to make your life miserable!" Instead it simply feels like a way of life. It sneaks in unexpectedly. Generally something will trigger it's appearance. Something will remind us of a trauma in the past and once again that dragon that we thought we had destroyed is back! It's so irritating but it's a fact of life. Triggers will always happen and we will always be taming dragons as they appear. We are always striving to improve ourselves. Growth is a constant part of life.

The good news is - that we can improve. We can recognize the dragons as they appear - instead of allowing them to reside with us and become a part of our lives. We can learn to take daily measures to be the master of the dragon instead of the dragon being master over us.

My dragon that seems to cause me the most grief is the need for approval and acceptance from others. Many people have this need. This isn't a bad thing. It's good for us to feel love from others. But it can be debilitating if we are more concerned about seeking the acceptance from others than from God. This dragon sneaks in my life from time to time - just when I'm feeling confident. Once again - it is an annoying gift. A chance to be humble and recognize that God is the source of all love.

The good news is that I have identified that I have this sneaky dragon - and so I work on eliminating it. Prayer, faith and emotional clearing with energy work help to release these dragons.

I can help you release your dragons through emotional clearing.
Visit my website for more information and contact info.
http://www.sevenminutestresscure.com/

If you're ready - Just let go. :)

Letting my voice be heard (2)

2010-04-04T13:46:00.003-06:00

Friday was my first voice lesson in over 20 years! I can't believe that there is still actually a good voice in there! My voice is out of shape - but the base of it is good and strong. I about cried when I heard myself sing because I was surprised at how good I sounded. I haven't even allowed myself to really express my voice in years. I've sung in the ward choir, but I haven't sung a solo or duet in MANY years.

I felt like my spirit was enthusiastically screaming "Yes! Finally!" It feels so good to adress this part of me. I feel that this part of me has been dying - wondering what happened. If it had a voice it would be saying "Wait a minute, I'm here. Hello! Do you hear me?"

Once I decided to take voice lessons, I could feel a change in the tone in my voice. I was able to make some good vocal sounds. Amazing the control our minds and past can have over our lives and talents if we allow them to.

I think that we need to make conscious efforts to use the gifts that God gave us. If we don't, we will lose our gifts. This very thing is spoken of in the scriptures in the parable of the talents. The man who hid his talent under a bushel - lost his talent and the man who went back to Jesus to thank him for his talent was given more.

I have other gifts besides music. I am a massage therapist, hypnotherapist and intuitive counselor. These things are all very important to me. I use these gifts daily and so my ability has increased over time. The mistake that I made was believing that I had to make a choice. That I was no longer defined by who I once was - but that I had new gifts.

I do have new gifts (for which I am forever grateful) but this does not mean that I need to give up one thing that is precious to me to experience another. It does not have to be one or the other. My past gifts are a part of me. They help define who I am. I will never be an Opera star - and that is perfectly fine. Gifts come in varying degrees. My voice still brings myself and others joy. It was given to me for a reason. It was not given to me to hide it under a bushel. It needs to be heard.

Each of us are given our own unique gifts that help to shape who we are. To some are given visible talents, and to others are given gifts that are not so easily seen - but all gifts are equal in the sight of God.They are given to us to not only bless our life, but the lives of those around us.

Today I encourage all reading to be aware of what your unique gifts are. What role does your gift have on humanity? There is a purpose for each individual's talents. Embrace whatever gift you may have and express it. Let your voice be heard!

Letting my Voice be heard

2010-03-28T19:47:00.020-06:00

When I was a small baby - my mom and sisters noticed how much I loved music. They would sing to me when I was upset - and I would instantly stop crying and listen. My mom and Dad used to take me to the symphony when I was young. They helped instill a love of music and the arts in me.

When I was about 13 years old I became best friends with Marie-Adele. She was a year younger than I and amazingly talented. She was an accomplished pianist at the age of 12. I remember going to her house nearly every day after school and sitting at her piano. Both of us would sing and she would play the piano.

In high School I was in Orem High's Acappella Choir. Music was a HUGE part of my life. As a teenager I wrote and recorded my own original music. I found that writing and recording music was therapeutic for me. I could express deeper feelings in music than I could any other way. I was certain I would marry someone who was musical and would appreciate my gifts.

The Summer after high school graduation, I saved all my money from my summer job - and recorded my original music. That Fall I left home (at the tender age of 17) and became a Vocal major at Ricks College. I went to college with all the confidence in the world. I had a vocal recital in front of a hundred or more people. I was not afraid. Why should I have been afraid? I was sure I had a good voice. How I long now to have the confidence of that 17 year old - the Michelle who hadn't experienced life yet; the Michelle who knew she had an amazing voice and could accomplish anything. Nothing stood in my way at age 17. But I soon realized that I didn't have the skills that the other students had. I realized a life reality; Being a vocal major was more than just being able to sing and enjoying music. There was a science to music. That was the part that was difficult for me. I attended Ricks College for two years and then I came home for the summer.

That summer I met the man that I was married to for 8 1/2 years. We had three beautiful children. I learned a lot in those 8 1/2 years. Many things happened... that led to the end of our marriage (nearly 15 years ago). We were both young and inexperienced in communication and relationships. I am not writing today to blame the past. I am writing for my own healing - as well as the healing others. Today I wish to speak through the eyes of the 20 year old Michelle. Looking back in time (20 years later) I realize how much those 8 1/2 years shaped my beliefs of my self worth. My intention today is to slay a dragon. A dragon that I have allowed to affect me for over 15 years.

Now, before I write more - I must emphasize once again that I am not trying to blame anyone in my past. There are two sides to every story. My intention today is to uncover the emotion that led to the end of my "voice." It is only now, that I am finally understanding how crucial it is for me to reclaim it.

I remember that first year of our marriage before we had children; I still had that 17 year old confidence. I remember walking through the mall with my husband. I saw a sign at a clothing store. They were looking for models to model their clothes. I was only 20 years old. I was cute and 40 pounds thinner. I remember feeling excited. I turned to my then husband and excitedly said "I could do that." His words crushed me. He rolled his eyes and said "Oh my gosh Michelle, you really think you could do that?" Until that very moment I thought I could do anything. All I had to do was decide to do something and it was so. My reality changed in that instance. His opinion of me mattered more than anyone elses. He was the man who promised to love and adore me...and at the age of 20 I believed him.

At the age of 20 I still listened to my cassette of original songs quite frequently. I think it was a way of reassuring myself of my worth and potential. I remember listening to my cassette one day when my husband was gone. He came in the house and heard my music (my own creation...a part of me) He rolled his eyes and said "Oh my gosh, do we always have to listen to you?" The confident 17 year old vanished that day. I gradually stopped singing. If I was listening to my music, I quickly turned it off before he came in the house. After all, he was my husband. His opinion mattered. I began to believe that I must not be a good singer or song writer. Little by little I began to lose my voice. After awhile I was afraid to sing a solo in church. There was a time that I could sing in front of hundreds of people without fear. 20 years later it's hard to imagine that 17 year old without fear. I don't believe that my X-husband's words were meant to hurt me as much as they did. I think that he didn't realize how much his words and opinion affected me.

During that same year I decided to treat my husband to a creative date. Hillcrest Elementary school was near our home. It had a tall slide with a platform at the top. I took a picnic and childrens books to read to him at the top of the slide. I remember excitedly saying to him "This is your creative dating experience." To this he responded "Oh my gosh Michelle, you call this creative?" And that was the end of the creative dating experiences.

The problem was that I was still forming my identity. I was not yet completely grounded in who I was. And so...I listened to my then husband. I believed him and I began to form an opinion of who I was. Before this - I defined myself as a creative person; as a singer and songwriter. But now, this man who said he would love and adore me, had told me in a manner of speaking that not only was I not a singer, but I was also NOT creative. I allowed him to create my identity. I wanted my marriage to work, so I slowly lost who I was. I tried to become who he wanted me to be. But I never figured out who that was. Many other things happened that were hurtful that don't need to be mentioned. One day I realized that I would emotionally and physically die if I stayed in that marriage. I used my voice and ended the marriage.

I remember how incredibly difficult that decision was. I was raised to NEVER get a divorce. I stayed in the marriage as long as I did because divorce was not an option. I had children and I LOVED his family. But I knew that my spirit needed to be free.

After my divorce I slowly stopped singing. The thought of singing today is still emotionally painful. My voice is out of shape. I feel like a part of who I was has dissappeared and I am ready to reclaim this part. Singing and music give me JOY. It is wrong to give this up. I finally see a very clear picture of why I've quit singing. I think it is very sad.

I finally realize that I need to reclaim my voice. These events took place 20 years ago. I am not that same person (and I am sure my x-husband is not the same person). I should not allow myself to be defined by someone's opinion 20 years ago! When we are young, and still forming our identity - it's easy to allow others to form who we are. We must be strong and courageous, knowing who we are - despite people's unkind words. We are not defined by other people's opinions. Our worth comes from God. He created us. He gave us talents unique to us. He sent each of us here with specific things that only we can do. Allowing others to form our identity is a sad mistake. We will never measure up to everyone's expectations of us - so we should measure up to God's expectations of us. Satan does not want us to accomplish our mission on earth. He works through others to bring us down - to make us believe that we are less than we are.

I've finally realized that it's time to reclaim my voice. My friend Marie-Adele (who is now an Opera star) is my angel. She guided me to someone who can help me rebuild my voice. I am very excited. I feel that this is a HUGE step in healing the past. I know that voice lessons will not only help me sing again (which will bring me great joy) but they will also give me back the power that I gave away 20 years ago. I never should have believed him. I SOOOOO want to slay this dragon! :) Here I GO! :)

Waking Up

2010-03-05T19:54:00.008-07:00

Have you ever had that experience in life when you "wake up?" All of the sudden you have this Ah hah about life - and life is different from that day on? Well I have.

I remember the first time this happened for me was at about age 27. I remember where I was standing in my little basement apartment and realizing that certain things in my life absolutely had to change. I suddenly valued who I was and my mission and potential - and I knew that in order for me to move forward in life that certain relationships would have to end. I remember the grief that I felt, but also the freedom that I felt at the same time. Oh, the freedom that my spirit felt when I finally acknowledged that I deserved a life.

For months before this I had had dreams every night about a bird flying away free. My spirit was trying to speak to me through my dreams. I felt like a bird in a cage and my spirit longed to be free and soar. I just didn't know how to fly. Little by little my spirit was taught until finally...finally...I had the courage and wisdom to allow myself to be free of my cage. Much of this was about waking up to my God given worth, and embracing who God intended me to be. There was nothing righteous about allowing myself to believe that I should be a caged bird.

That was 15 years ago...

I can't believe it's been that long. When I think about the insecure girl that I was back then - it's as if I'm looking at a movie about some one else. Why I allowed myself to remain in an unhealthy situation for as long as I did is beyond me. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from a situation to understand how completely damaging a situation can be to our soul.

I am no longer that terrified young woman. Life has moved on. I have grown and changed. I've made some good choices and some not so good choices - but each choice and experience have taught me more which has brought me closer to becoming my authentic self. Yes, there are many experiences that I wish I hadn't chosen - but at the same time I realize the learning and growth that has taken place because of my life experiences. The hard experiences in life temper us. They make us pliable for God's hands. Each difficult experience teaches us humility, and empathy for others who are going through similar trials. I don't think I would change the awareness that life has brought me.

Healing emotional wounds from the past - is a life long pursuit. Today I released another layer. Today I am free of a cage that I didn't even realize I was in. I didn't realize that I was not allowing myself to really, fully express myself. How much is safe? I realize now that I have held myself back from truly experiencing joy to the fullest. Almost as if I were afraid of feeling exquisite joy.

Now, I've had a happy life. Don't get me wrong. I've laughed and played and had fun. But...only to a point. For too much of my life I have been an observer of life. I haven't allowed myself to fully be present. I honestly didn't even realize this until today. Today I've had an Ah hah - and my life will never be the same.

For much of my life I've walked through the motions of life wondering "Am I doing it right?" Is this how you do life?" Almost as if a mere mortal had all the answers to life - and I wondered if I were doing life right. The realization of this false belief is HUGE.

Life is about becoming the best we can be. (The best I can be.)
It is not about conforming to society's way of doing life. Seriously, is there someone out there who has a manual on how to do life? I don't think so! God has a manual. God is the one who can help us know how to live our life. There is not a right or wrong way of doing life - because we each have different talents and unique personalities and perceptions.

There are certain universal laws or commandments that we should live by. Living by these universal laws creates peace and balance in our world. But these universal laws are the only blue print that we should follow. Constantly worrying and wondering if we're doing "life right" - or if we measure up is EXHAUSTING!

Generally we are our own worst critic. Generaly others are not judging us. We are judging ourselves.
There is a wonderful song by Michael McClean called "Gentle." Some of the words of this song say:
"We've been hurt by others often, we've forgiven and forgotten - we should be more gentle with ourselves."

Today I had an Ah hah. I am free of my cage. I've released a dragon - and from this day on - Life as I know it will never be the same. I am free!

Becoming your Authentic self

2010-02-18T09:46:00.007-07:00

Too often we try to fit into society's "norm." When we don't fit in we think there is something wrong with us - instead of embracing our uniqueness. This would be similar to "Approval addiction." With approval addiction we don't feel that we are ok with out the approval of others. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be less than who we really are - because it is more acceptable in society. The problem with this - is that we are pleasing everyone but ourselves - just to fit in. After awhile this becomes very unsatisfying - because deep down we know that there is so much more that we can do and be.

I confess - I like people to like me. It feels good. So - God purposely made me unique so I would stand out and have to face this dragon of needing approval. People aren't always going to agree with me or like me - but God sent me here with an important mission and an important message. Who I am is enough. My ideas are not the norm of society. Sometimes it is difficult to stand out with different beliefs - but I know that I am the happiest when I live my inner truth and allow people to hear my voice.

My authentic self is very spiritual. Spirituality is an integral part of my life and who I am. It is much more than religion to me. It is realizing my God given potential - knowing that God sent me here with a specific mission. I would hate to die and realize that I fell short of God's expectations of me simply because I held myself back to fit in.

My authentic self is not main stream in my beliefs about health and nutrition. This is a HUGE part of who I am. This is where it is difficult to always live my inner truth. Many people in my life (who I love very much) believe very differently than I about health and nutrition. I don't want to come across as preachy or obnoxious - so many times I quietly live my truth - and other times I slightly stray from my truth in an attempt to help everyone feel comfortable. I'm realizing that my spirit needs me to be more consistant with my beliefs about health and nutrition. I feel that I can live my truth in a way that doesn't offend others - but is keeping to my integrity. My body, mind and spirit feel best when I am living true to my belief system. This is a signal to me that my belief system is right for me. I'm not suggesting that it is right for everyone - but it is right for me. Sometimes it's easier to go along with the crowd - to fit in - when so many people I love don't understand me. But then - it really isn't easier. My body, mind and spirit don't feel good when I go against what I believe is truth.

When God sent us all to earth he sent us all with different belief systems and talents. Isn't that wonderful? Wouldn't it be incredibly boring if we were all the same? Yet, society pushes us to conform. To be accepted we must fit into the "norm." But what if the "norm" is wrong? I would rather live up to my inner truth than try to conform. When I die - I want to be able to look at my maker and say that I lived up to my potential. Part of that potential - is living what I know is truth.

Daily - I pray for the strength to stand out and be unique, to allow myself to shine and feel grounded in who I am and who I'm meant to be. Realizing that it's ok for people to dissagree with my beliefs. I am still a good person, with much to offer - even if I do not choose to conform to society.

It is a fine line between conforming to society and standing out as unique. Each of these should be balanced. We need to contribute to society as a whole. We need to hold jobs and pay taxes. We need to contribute to making society better. To just stand out as different is not enough. Some people refuse to conform at all. They choose to not hold jobs or go to school because they are free spirits. This is not AT ALL what I am suggesting.

God sent us here with our unique talents and attributes to contribute to society as a whole - and yet be our unique, authentic selves. Each of us have unique talents. Each of us were sent to earth to fulfill a special mission - that only we can fulfill. We can teach and help society grow into something even better. Running from society is not the answer. Completely conforming to society is not the answer. I encourage all reading to live up to your God given potential. Make a mark on society because you are unique. Live up to your values and your belief system. Have a voice. Speak up and be heard.

Starting Fresh

2010-01-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of 2010. It's a good day to make New Years Resolutions - and begin a new life. Most of us make New Years resolutions that we keep to for maybe a month or two. I think this is because we set unrealistic goals. I want to set goals this year that are attainable - but that will truly impact the quality of my life. I encourage all reading this to do the same.

Here are my New Years Resolutions:

Have an Attitude of Gratitude:
Whenever I find myself depressed - it is generally because I am focussing on the negative instead of the positive. Life isn't easy - but it is even more difficult when we focus on the negative. Negativity is a dragon that threatens our life from the inside out. It eats at our
insides and steels our hopes and dreams. Why do we allow ourselves to express ourselves in
such detrimental ways? If we are outwardly positive - but inwardly negative - we are still
negative - and that inner negativity sucks away our life. Many of us worry about things in life
that we have no control over. This is wasted energy. Why not turn that worry and negativity
into something positive? My New Years resolution is to change my worry and negativity into
gratitude. Simply change the energy of the emotion, placing just as much or more energy
on the positive. I believe that we have control over our happiness. If the majority of our time
is spent on worry or negativity we are missing out on why God gave us this incredible
Opportunity called life!

Today I watched the wonderful annimation "Up." Through much of this movie - the old man
is grumpy and worried. He feels if he doesn't get his house to Paradise Falls then he has let
his wife down - and his life hasn't ammounted to much. As the movie unfolds he realizes that
his focus has been all wrong. He realizes that even without his wife - that he can still enjoy life
and make new exciting adventures. He also realizes that everything he thought meant so
much to him (ie: his house and material possesions) really didn't matter. It was all just stuff.
He realized that even as an old man - that he could make a difference in the world. He still
had a purpose. I think that many of us experience this in varrying degrees. If our life is
no longer following the path that it once did -we feel that something is amiss and we
need to steer ourselves back to our original path. This can lead to SO MUCH unhappiness.
Life is about change. The path we are on now may not be the path that we were on at 17 -
that doesn't make it a wrong path. It makes it a different path. All of the experiences of the
past help us create our today.

It reminds me of a poem that I wrote:

Life is unexpected
it winds and turns
over mountains
and oceans

no one knows
where the course
will lead
we have no choice
but to follow

we forge along
at the mercy
of the waves

sometimes
the waves crash
against us
and set us back
but in the end
we're stronger

for the waves
have bathed us
in experience

Living in the past causes worry and dissappointment. This is a destructive dragon. God sent
us here to learn and grow and experience joy. LIFE IS GOOD. Having an attitude of
gratitude helps us to recognize all that God has given us and to enjoy the journey.

I want to try to live each moment in the moment. Be ever present. Too often we are living
in the past or in the future. If we are not living in the present we are missing our life. Life is
lived moment by moment.

Today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

Puting first things first

2009-10-29T11:41:00.000-06:00

As I've grown up - I've realized that there are few things in life that "really" matter.
Too often we put our focus on surviving - or on tasks. As a society we've lost focus of what matters most. But - the point of life should not be "whoever has the most toys wins." Or "whoever completes the most tasks wins."

In the end - I don't want my headstone to read:
"Here lies a very busy woman. She was excellent at performing tasks - but neglected what mattered most."

Unfortunately we live in a society that makes us forget what is most important. People are so stressed about puting food on the table that there is little time left to think about what matters most.

Life isn't about tasks or paying bills. It is about RELATIONSHIPS.

It's about living life mindfully. Being fully aware of your place in the universe and what role you play in the grand scheme of things.

Life is about making people know that they matter and realizing that what you do and say matters to them. What we do and how we act in society DOES matter. We all affect each other.
When we live mindfully we become fully aware of our place in society.

Think about nature for a moment. When one thing is out of sync - it affects everything else. Each animal in nature is reliant on the entire eco-system working as a whole.

Humans are the same. We need each other. We can not survive without each other. Other people need us - just like we need them. In other words "No man is an island."

Keeping ourselves busy with tasks is a way of protecting ourselves from the world. When we are too busy - we don't have time to feel pain or joy. We just go through the motions.
THIS IS A VERY DECEPTIVE DRAGON.

Busyness is a deceptive dragon because on the outside we are accomplishing A LOT. But at what expense? Busyness keeps you from what matters most.

I'm not saying that we don't need to work or pay bills (though some days that would be nice) I'm saying that we need to prioritize. Put first things first.

We need to get in touch with what we are really all about. We need to view life mindfully and understand that our actions affect the world.

When I die I want to be remembered for making an impact on the world. When we are TOO busy we neglect relationships.

I realize that we live in a fast paced - stressed out society. All the more reason to prioritize and simplify. When we do this - everything else will take care of itself. But if we don't make time for the most important things (ie; relationships with others, ourselves and God) then there isn't any room left in our life for them.

Sometimes it takes a traumatic loss in life to wake us up to what really matters. A little over a year ago my nephew took his life. That was a wake up call. Life matters people! Our choices affect others FOREVER. This is serious business!

Please join the cause to make a difference in the world. Let's wake up and live mindfully!

Visit my website for ideas about stress relief:
As a hypnotherapist I've created a wonderful relaxation CD that is designed to relax and balance the mind in only seven minutes! It really works! It helps with anxiety and depression. Check it out:
http://www.sevenminutestresscure.com/

LOVE versus FEAR

2009-10-07T22:39:00.000-06:00

All decisions and actions in life stem from two emotions; Love or Fear. Where do your decisions stem from? If an emotion is fear based then it is leading you toward a dragon. The ability to recognize if your emotions are love or fear based, can allow you to avoid dragons before they become threatening. Fear is not a bad emotion if it is used correctly. There are times to feel fear. Fear is: Friendly Energy Announcing Risk! Pay attention to your feelings.
If you are feeling fear - ask: " Why am I feeling fear?" Perhaps it is warning you to run from a dragon before it is too late.

It is helpful to pay attention to your feelings and recognize when you feel fear and when you feel love. It's interesting that these two emotions cannot exist simultaneously. So - does it not make sense then to create experiences in our lives that emulate feelings of Love, Peace, and Joy? When these positive emotions are present - fear, anger and doubt can not exist.

I've noticed that the times that I feel the most fear - are the times that I allow myself to believe my inner negative self talk. We all have this "automatic inner voice." Too often we allow our childhood beliefs to get in the way of our present reality. We can train the "automatic robot" in our mind to think more positively. This helps to alleviate fear, stress and anxiety.

Observe your life and the emotions that generate from you. Find ways to creatively experience love, Peace and Joy.

Visit http://www.sevenminutestresscure.com/ for ideas to alleviate stress, anxiety and fear.

Getting out of a rut

2009-09-22T22:24:00.000-06:00

Have you ever found yourself floundering in life. Knowing how you'd like your life to be - but not really having a vision of how to get there? This is the time to set goals. Make a plan and do something different.

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again - expecting different results. This is called a "rut."

A rut is a very deceptive dragon. It doesn't seem harmful (After all, you are not being abused) but if men are that they might have "joy," then a rut is a very harmful dragon. It is keeping you from fully claiming your magnificence. Any time that we are not fully embracing our God given potential, we are cheating ourselves out of the life that God intended for us.

A "rut" is a form of self sabotage. It is a way of stopping yourself from achieving your potential. This could be caused from a fear of change, or simply a lack of being proactive.

Life does not just happen - a real life is created. If we give our lives to the mercy of circumstance, then we are giving away our power. We must plan and create our lives.

There are many things in life that we do not have control over - such as;
The weather
The economy
Other people's choices that affect our lives

But we do have control over our attitude and how we choose to live our lives.
Are we simply going through the motions of life - or are we truly living?

Truly living requires thought and planning.

So today - my challenge to myself and to all those reading - is to do one thing different this week that brings you closer to being your authentic self.

If you don't normally exercise - then exercise.
If you worry about other people's opinions - then believe in your God given worth.
If you tend to focus on the negative in life - then focus on the positive.

Notice a pattern that is keeping you from being your authentic self and allow yourself to Be your authentic self.

Give yourself permission to be happy and embrace life to the fullest.

I would love people to try this challenge with me this week and post your experience.

We all learn from each others experiences. Most of us deep down - have the desire to be the best we can be. We just need to get out of our own way and allow ourselves to soar.

We are meant to persist. That is how we discover who we really are.

Let's move forward and SLAY this dragon!

Perfectionism

2009-09-14T21:55:00.000-06:00

It is good to always strive to be the best we can be - but what if our best is never good enough?

Many parents push their children so hard to get straight A's that anything less than an A is unacceptable. I want my children to do well in school. I want them to do their best. I think it is a fine balance between pushing them to do their best and teaching them that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. I don't have the blue print on how to balance this successfully, but what I do know is that God doesn't expect perfection. If he did he wouldn't have sent his son to pick up the slack for our mistakes.

People who always need the approval of others desperately want everyone to look at them from head to toe and say "perfect." When they do any kind of job, they want everyone to look at it and say, "perfect." In everything they do- the things they say, the way they look, every action that they take - they want people to say "perfect."

The one thing that we can always count on is that no one on this earth is perfect. No one on this earth will ever be perfect. God is perfect. To expect ourselves to be perfect is taking the power of Christ's atonement out of our lives. God wants us to have joy. He wants us to be the best we can be. He doesn't expect us to be perfect. Who we are is enough. We should allow Christ to make up the difference.

Perfectionism is a very depressing dragon because we will never attain it. No matter how hard we try. We will never attain it.

We need to give ourselves permission to simply be, to love ourselves because God loves us. To realize that we are enough. Our best is enough.

You are ENOUGH. :)

Approval Addiction

2009-09-13T20:48:00.000-06:00

Many people, myself included, suffer from the "need to please." Although this may not seem like a threat, I assure you that "approval addiction" can be a very disruptive dragon.

God placed all sorts of people on the earth. All different personalities and skin types. Could all of these people - who have been raised differently - with various backgrounds, all REALLY approve of each other ALL the time? The answer is a resounding "No!"

So, my question is this; If we can understand this logically, then why do we still expect EVERYONE to approve of us all the time? Our Country has been at war several times, we don't all agree politically - so why on earth should we expect everyone to approve of us all the time?

We see the lack of approval and acceptance of people as an inward rejection. Could it be that we simply have different views and opinions? Could it be that God sent us each here with different missions to fulfil on this earth? As frustrating as it may be - it isn't realistic to have the approval of everyone ALL the time.

We were all sent here to fulfill our own God given destiny - not someone else's. We need to measure up to God's expectations of us. Not the world's. We each have a special quest to fulfill.
We each have dragons to slay. We all make mistakes. The key is to not judge ourselves unrealistically. It is good to realize when we have made a mistake - but we shouldn't dwell on it. Mistakes are a daily part of life. We need to acknowledge the mistake, make it square with God and move on.

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell describes mistakes this way:

M essages that give us feedback about life.
I nterruptions that should cause us to reflect and think.
S ignposts that direct us to the right path.
T ests that push us toward greater maturity.
A wakenings that keep us in the game mentally.
K eys that we can use to unlock the next door of opportunity.
E xplorations that let us journey where we've never been before.
S tatements about our development and progress.

"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is, Try to please everybody." - Herbery Bayard Swope

We can not judge our worth based on our errors. We can not judge our worth based on our performance. Our worth is an intrinsic part of who we are because we are children of God. God sent us here to fulfil our individual quests. He expects us to make mistakes. He expects us to slay dragons along the way. All of it refines us. It's all part of the divine plan.

Dragon #1 - 1

2009-09-09T00:41:00.000-06:00

It's been interesting keeping track of my worried or insecure thoughts over the past few days. When I write down my insecurities, or anxieties it makes them seem a little funny. I know that I am not the only one who worries about what others think of them. Somehow - being honest about this worry is helping to difuse it. I'd like to invite others who may struggle with anxiety or negative thoughts to try this technique and post your experience. I think you'll be surprised at how many negative thoughts you have throughout the day. Writing down your negative thoughts helps you to be fully aware of your thought process.

Positive affirmations

2009-09-07T20:22:00.000-06:00

Pay attention to your thoughts as they enter your mind. As a thought enters your mind first determine if the thought is positive or negative. If the thought is negative, then simply acknowledge the thought and say in your mind "Oh, there's a thought." Then visualize your hand reaching into your mind and taking the thought out and throwing it into the garbage.

You can also ask yourself why that negative thought is there and what the positive intent is behind it. For example: If you were driving down the freeway and you missed your exit, your negative self talk might say "you're so stupid! I can't believe you missed that exit!" If this were to happen, you should acknowledge your negative self talk by saying "Oh, there's a thought" and then visualize yourself throwing the thought into the garbage.

The next step would be to think of the positive intent behind this negative thought which might be something like: "I want to make it to my destination on time." Once you reframe the thought by thinking of the positive intention, you have difused the negative thought. Negativity is a vicious dragon that can destroy you. Be creative by using positive affirmations.

What you put your intention on Grows:

How often have you complained about what you didn't want? Did it ever bring you what you really wanted? Fighting the negative is a total waste of time. The more you dwell on what you don't want, the more of it you create.

What you put your intention on grows and becomes permanent in your life. Move away from the negative and put your attention on what it is that you really DO want to be or have. Turn your negative affirmations into positive affirmations. For example: "I don't want to be fat," or "I hate the way I look," becomes "I am slender," or "I feel beautiful and vibrant."

Affirmations

Learn to think in positive affirmations. Affirmations are any statements you make. Too often we think in negative affirmations, which only creates MORE of what you say you DON'T WANT. Saying "I hate my job," will get you nowhere. Declaring "I now accept a wonderful new job," will open the channels in your consciousness to create that.

Make positive statements about how you want your life to be - always making your statements in present tense. Such as "I am..." or "I have..."

The process of Loving the self

No matter what the problem, the main issue to work on is Loving Yourself. This is the "magic wand" that dissolves problems. Remember the times when you have felt good about yourself and how well your life was going? LOVING YOURSELF MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. It is impossible to really love yourself unless you have self approval and self -acceptance. This means NO NEGATIVE SELF TALK WHATSOEVER!

Remember that what ever you Focus on Grows. When you begin to give yourself approval and acceptance AS IF it were already true, you create the positive changes in your inner world that seem to magically make it come true.

Thoughts have no power over us unless we give in to them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have NO MEANING WHATSOEVER. Only the meaning that we give them. Choose to think thoughts that will nourish and support you. YOU DESERVE IT!

Part of self acceptance is releasing other people's opinions. Often what we think of as the things "wrong" with us, are merely expressions of our own individuality. We are meant to be unique. When we can accept this, then there is no competition or comparison.

5. Should you slay the dragon?

2009-09-07T20:06:00.000-06:00

Some dragons are dangerous. You can feel them breathing fire down your neck. You realize that the situation is precarious, but since the dragon captivates you with its spell, you allow yourself to stay in harms way and eventually become a dragon's victim. It is very difficult, though not impossible, to break free. Many times a victim must be rescued from the dragon.

If you are unable to avoid a dragon in the first place, and find that you are about to become a dragon's lunch, you have no choice but to SLAY THE DRAGON! This can be difficult since the dragon's magic will compel you to stay even when your heart warns you to RUN!

These dragons may be represented in life as: violent and destructive relationships or a desire to harm self or others. These dragons are very, very destructive!

WARNING

Before attempting to slay this type of dragon

you must first protect yourself with armor!

4. Is the dragon friendly?

2009-09-07T19:57:00.000-06:00

Is the dragon friendly? Some dragons are actually life's gifts to us. They are placed in our path as opportunities for growth. They may frighten us - only because they are new and mysterious. When we make friends with these dragons, we create new possibilities in our future. These dragons may attempt to scare us - but once we understand that they are not a threat, and participate in life's opportunities, the dragons will dissappear.

Friendly dragons may be represented in life as: New job opportunities, new relationships, trying a new skill or talent, moving to a new location...change.

Dragon #1

2009-09-07T11:20:00.000-06:00

Today I'm going to talk very personally about my own dragons in life. (Please first read the previous posts so you understand what I am referring to.)

Sometimes we have to be reminded of the magnificence with in us. Many times those who love us most can see strengths that we don't see. (Speaking for myself - I am harder on myself than anyone could ever be.) My husband and close friends hold me up. They bring out the best in me and see me as I truly am. It's my inner personal dragons (my insecurities) that are in my way.

We all view life through lenses from our child hood experiences. This is how we create our reality. When we are children we interpret experiences through a child's understanding imprinting on our brain our belief system about ourselves and life.

If we experienced trauma as a child such as molestation, divorce, abuse - these things create our perception. Although this may be a very skewed reality - it is still the child's reality that affects them forever. It takes maturity, positive life experience, and therapy to undo traumatic childhood imprints.

When I was a little girl I was molested by a neighbor boy across the street. Most of this experience was blocked out of my mind until about 7 years ago when I did my hypnotherapy training. As I did this training I remembered the experience vividly.

Until that point I remembered the neighbor (who was about 7 years older than I) taking me into our shed and asking me to pull my pants down. He was a teenager and I was a little girl of about 6. I remembered being very smart and saying "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I remembered running into the kitchen which had a window looking out to the back yard. I looked out that kitchen window to the backyard with my arms folded in triumph. I knew I was safe. I gazed into that boys eyes. How dare he ask me to do such a thing! That was my memory for my entire life until 7 years ago. My mind protected me from the truth. Because in my little girls mind - I was the one who was bad. Not that teenage boy.

When these memories came flooding back I was shaken up for awhile. How could this be real? My whole life I had only remembered saving myself. But the memories were real and I realized that a lot happened to that little girl. She was so smart to figure out a way to save her. But that was only when it stopped. I don't know how long it went on before that.

The imprints of this experience affect me to this day. I have tools now to work through it. When things trigger me - I am more aware of what is going on and can trace my feelings quite often to this experience.

This experience has affected my relationships with men and my understanding of my self worth. Because of my hypnotherapy and other training - I now understand why. But it's taken a long time to get to where I am. A long exhausting road. But now - because of my experiences in the past and my training in the present - I can help others work through some of their pain - because I understand them.

The Dragon that I want to overcome right now is SELF DOUBT. I worry waaaay to much about people's opinions of me. It gets in the way of my potential. I just want to feel confident and at peace with who I am. I want to be all that God sent me here to be. My self doubt is ingrained very deeply. It's time to SLAY THIS DRAGON!

I decided that one thing that I could do to over come this dragon was to be BOLDY honest with who I am. Posting a blog. Sharing things that are so personal - risking. Hoping that in doing so that it not only helps me find peace - but others as well.

The other thing that I am going to do is notice any negative self talk as it enters my mind. For the next week - I am going to write down all negative, self sabotaging thoughts so that I can be soooo aware of how ridiculous my mind is being. As soon as those negative, sabotaging thoughts enter my mind - I'm going to reframe them into a sweetheart message. Any time that we speak negatively to ourselves - it is only our true self trying to get it's needs met. It might not be doing it in a very effective way - but it's doing the best it knows how.

I am going to notice that negative self talk and find the sweetheart message in it. What good thing am I trying to get for myself? I am just trying to keep myself safe. Safety was an issue for me as a child. I am only trying to take care of myself.:)

What is your Dragon #1?

3. Recognize that the behavior is harmful

2009-09-06T23:39:00.000-06:00

In order to protect yourself, and stop the cycle of pain, you must first recognize that the behavior is harmful. If you view a dangerous dragon as a friendly dragon then you are not in a position to slay it.

Once you have determined that the dragon is a threat, you must then determine why you had the need to have a dangerous dragon in your life in the first place. Inviting a dragon into your life is a conscious choice.

Close your eyes and visualize two circles in your minds eye. Through one circle ask a question, and through the other circle receive an answer. Ask yourself "Why have I allowed this dragon into my life?" Why did I feel the need to have this dragon in my life?" What is this dragon creating for me?(Both positive and negative)" Then listen for a thought, or visualize a picture. This is your answer. Behind every negative behavior is a positive intention. What is the positive intention of allowing a dragon in your life?

We all try to meet our needs the best we know how - but sometimes we go about it in very uneffective ways. Deep down, however, our desire ultimately is to fulfill our needs.

Once you have determined what the positive intention is behind allowing the dragon into your life, then it is time to be creative. Ask yourself "What are some positive alternatives to this unresourceful behavior?" "How can I get what I want and need in a more healthy way?"

Then make a list. Make a list of your positive alternatives as well as a list of your support system.

It's important to have a support system in place before attempting to slay a dragon.

A support system could include family, friends, church leaders, etc.

2. Can you avoid the dragon?

2009-09-06T23:10:00.000-06:00

2. Can you avoid the dragon?

Sometimes we approach dragons in life that we know are dangerous. The problem is that the magic of the dragon feels so compelling that it is hard to break free of the spell. This is the time that you should RUN! This type of dragon should be avoided from the start. It is hard to break free once the dragon's evil magic has sucked you in. It is vital to use wisdom in this type of situation. DO NOT PLAY WITH THIS TYPE OF DRAGON! These dragons are very dangerous because they seem harmless at first - but if you get too close it is VERY difficult to break free of the dragon's captivating spell. Listen to the warnings of your heart. Deep down you know when you should avoid a dragon. Even though it is hard to break free of the spell, you must run while you can!

These draons may be represented in life as addictive behaviors. They make you feel good for awhile - but ultimately they can destroy you.

These behaviors could include: Smoking, drinking, sexual addictions, alcohol and drug addictions, eating disorders, dysfunctional and abusive relationships, and anything addictive - where you feel you MUST DO it of you MUST HAVE it to survive.

1. The Quest

2009-09-06T21:56:00.000-06:00

Each and every person who walks on this earth - was sent here to fulfill a great quest. The quest varies from one person to another, for each individual is searching for who they are meant to be.

I'd like to invite you to join me on this grand quest of life. It is an adventure that never ends. Should you choose to accept this challenge, you must first understand that you are taking a risk. It isn't always easy or safe. It is Life. Dragons lurk around every corner - roaming freely about in your inner world. You can not avoid them completely, but you can learn from them.

Dragons are magical. They draw people to them with their mystery. Something about them captivates us with their spell. You must take great care when approaching a dragon It requires great skill and wisdom to determine if a dragon is a threat or not.

This blog is designed to help all of us on God's earth fulfill this grand quest of life. Each day we are confronted by dragons. The point of this blog is to help us determine what to do about the dragons as they show up in life.

Dragons appear in all areas of life. They are cleverly disguised as self sabotage, fears, addictions, low self esteem and basically anything that keeps you from fully embracing who you are. You can't wish the dragons away, but you can choose which dragons you will take on, and which dragons you wish to avoid.

When approaching a dragon you must first determine 3 things:
1. Is the dragon friendly?
2. Can you avoid the dragon?
3. Should you slay the dragon?