tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-228588112008-07-23T18:41:10.784+01:00Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comBlogger507125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-86347170485213361012008-07-23T18:16:00.004+01:002008-07-23T18:41:10.805+01:00

Last year I was left feeling like a Nazi war criminal after using Nippon to kill off an ant's nest in my bathroom. This year the little bastards have turned me into Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now. Not only have they come back, but they've proven more resistant to insecticides this time. The final straw came for me on Monday when I returned home from work in the evening to find them swarming up

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/battle-of-my-bathroom.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-81267916741012972922008-07-21T20:04:00.003+01:002008-07-21T21:00:26.660+01:00

For those of us not of a religious bent, this furore over gay priests and women bishops in the Anglican church is somewhat mystifying. What does one's gender or sexual orientation have to do with anybody's ability to preach the Christian message? In any other walk of life excluding someone from a job on such grounds would count as sexual discrimination and be illegal. They really should take a

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/holy-hypocrisy.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-76128942600456719462008-07-20T21:39:00.003+01:002008-07-20T23:02:13.556+01:00

What's the world coming to, eh? Virtually all day on Friday, all I heard on radio news programmes was how an online dating site for teenagers was being used by middle-aged men to contact young girls. Now, leaving aside the moral issues (I think we all agree that peadophilia is bad), this is another news story which raises the question of whether we're becoming over obsessed with technology for

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/rise-of-techno-nonces.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-68364756856131443012008-07-17T19:45:00.003+01:002008-07-17T20:26:45.872+01:00

Local news stories - they always fascinate me. It's the way in which the way local reporting always seems to be slightly 'off centre' and emphasises the wrong parts of stories. Let's look at a couple of recent examples. A few weeks ago there was a sensational sounding report about a horse being strangled in a field outside a nearby town. Yes, a horse. And yes, it was strangled. Obviously,

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/phantom-horse-strangler-and-other-local.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-53324974742582978042008-07-15T21:01:00.002+01:002008-07-15T22:37:25.812+01:00

I haven't mentioned my attempts to actually use my hard earned teaching qualification to get a job in teaching. There's a good reason for that. Basically, I've given up. I've found that teaching is one of the biggest closed shops around. Believe me, unless you enter it straight from university and can get a job at the school or college where you did your placement, forget it. It doesn't matter

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/quite-education.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-1240142761661693152008-07-14T20:36:00.002+01:002008-07-14T21:32:25.295+01:00

OK folks, I'm going to do something I rarely do - give a plug to somebody else's site. The site in question is Tripartisan, a site which aims to be a social news-type site specialising in satire. You know the sort of thing - Digg, Propeller, Reddit are all well known examples of the social news site - people sign up as users, submit stories and vote on them. Hopefully, a community of like-minded

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/for-your-delectation-tripartisanorg.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-47229830833200794642008-07-12T23:56:00.002+01:002008-07-13T01:24:16.467+01:00

The previous post was, amazingly, the 500th I've made here. As I didn't want such a milestone to be marked by another whingeing session from me, I instead substituted a piece of topical satire, which also served as a first draft for the latest story over at The Sleaze: The Big Political Sell Out. So, I decided to hold the moaning over until the 501st post. Quite apart from my regular moan about

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/501st-post.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-3451761828660431272008-07-10T20:27:00.003+01:002008-07-11T00:43:37.849+01:00

With its poll ratings hitting rock bottom and following a series of humiliating by-election defeats, the governing Labour Party is facing the prospect of being classified as a 'failing' political party. "The consequences could be devastating," warns political analyst Jim Throng. "Just like a failing school or hospital, the Labour Party will face the prospect of having a private company brought

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/political-sell-out.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-30094307332712057762008-07-08T19:45:00.002+01:002008-07-08T21:46:05.117+01:00

I was watching Scrapheap Challenge on Channel Four the other day (it was on right after that edition of Time Team I was talking about in the previous post), and I got to thinking about ways they could make it more interesting. Now, the obvious way would be to have the teams make something a bit more dangerous than jet engines, high pressure hoses or diving bells from the contents of the scrap

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/crap-heap-challenge.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-86705250244056760982008-07-07T19:48:00.006+01:002008-07-07T20:26:31.793+01:00

I think I've finally come up with a solution for my garden - I'm going to write to Time Team and tell them that I think there's a Roman villa under it. Then, with any luck, they'll come and dig it up, then restore it to some semblance of order and tidiness, all at Channel Four's expense. OK, I'd have to put up with Tony Robinson and that idiot with a hat wandering around my property for three

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/digging-past.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-39722177566210511752008-07-03T20:36:00.003+01:002008-07-03T21:42:13.351+01:00

I was listening to Jo Whiley in the car this morning (I know, it happens to the best of us), when a topic which has perplexed me a great deal came up - just what significance can us males attach to those Xs women out at the end of text and e-mail messages? Is just one 'kiss' normal? Or does it mean something deeper? This is important stuff to the male of the species - we find it difficult enough

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/rules-of-game.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-61154565899663463882008-07-02T20:27:00.002+01:002008-07-02T23:17:44.833+01:00

With speculation over this coming Saturday's finale of Doctor Who's fourth season running rampant across the web, I decided that it was about time I jumped on the band wagon. Some of the theories I've read have been pretty wild (and highly entertaining), but most, I suspect, are pretty wide of the mark. What surprises me is that nobody (so far, anyway), seems to have attached any significance to

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/07/more-from-who-mour-mill.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-38078312293689894242008-06-30T23:50:00.002+01:002008-07-01T00:16:29.252+01:00

I was put off of Glastonbury early on this year. I caught a bit of the BBC's live coverage on Friday night when I waiting for a repeat of The Avengers to begin. Unfortunately, Jimmy Cliff (who I was sure was dead), was over-running. Badly. As I was shouting "OK, you've had your five minutes of fame, now fuck off, I want to watch young Diana Rigg in her kinky boots", when I thought I recognised

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/glastonbury-up-bum.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-73700313546863048322008-06-30T21:35:00.002+01:002008-06-30T21:40:59.468+01:00

...I give up. I've just about had enough of falling traffic to The Sleaze over the past month. Despite looking like it was recovering over the past few days, today it is virtually non-existent. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, nobody is interested any more. Well, that's fine, I've got enough shit going on elsewhere in my life, so if you bastards can't be bothered to read it, I don't see

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/ok-thats-it.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-72148004426458839162008-06-27T20:40:00.003+01:002008-06-27T21:52:42.548+01:00

It is only fitting that on the occasion of the great man's 90th birthday, I regale you with my Nelson Mandela story. Yes folks, it's true, Doc Sleaze, purveyor of low-grade smut and a man once described as 'grossly offensive' by certain senior figures in Britain's intelligence community, once had an encounter with Mr Mandela, undoubtedly one the most genuinely saintly people in history. Now, I

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/me-and-nelson-mandela.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-72711328126832082222008-06-26T20:50:00.002+01:002008-06-26T21:36:48.716+01:00

Fat people. We all know the stereotype - the jolly fat bloke, jowls wobbling as he laughs at some amusing self-deprecating remark he’s made about his size. Oliver Hardy, Fatty Arbuckle, Sydney Greenstreet, Hermann Goering, Orson Welles, Robert Maxwell, Bernard Manning, John Candy and Chris Farley - they all fit the image. Oh how we laughed at their amusing antics! Well, for too long these

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/fat-chance.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-17696206332680737922008-06-24T20:03:00.004+01:002008-06-24T22:13:30.268+01:00

As up to date as ever, I thought I'd finally get round to ranting about the latest lunatic proposals from the government to promote 'Britishness'. I really don't know where this obsession with national identity has come from. Oh, I know that the likes of the Daily Mail like to tell us that 'multiculturalism' is diluting our 'Britishness', but that's utter bollocks. Multiculturalism has been

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/uniform-hatred.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-90308646568038184062008-06-23T19:49:00.005+01:002008-06-23T20:35:21.154+01:00

Well, here we are, more or less half way through the year. So this might be a good time to review the progress of those New Year resolutions I outlined back in December. Foremost amongst these, you might recall (who am I kidding? Nobody reads this toss regularly), was a resolution to give up on unrequited love and stop falling for women who barely notice me. Amazingly, its so far, so good, as far

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/resolutions-resolved.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-48341683537525742722008-06-22T23:09:00.003+01:002008-06-22T23:40:51.577+01:00

Riots sparked by increasing fuel and food prices nearly had to be called off when it was found that participants couldn't afford to buy petrol for their Molotov cocktails. "It's bloody ridiculous - how the hell are we meant to create mayhem and bring the country to its knees when they can't keep petrol prices down?" complained protester Dan Puker, in between hurling bricks at riot police in

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/fuelling-unrest.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-34023152279029227412008-06-19T19:40:00.003+01:002008-06-19T20:19:02.014+01:00

Yet another searing indictment - if ever one was needed - of those bloody toffs trying to take over the country has been on display in the press this week. I refer, of course, to the trial of British mercenary Simon Mann, for his part in an attempted coup in Equatorial Guinea a few years ago. Needless to say that he is an old Etonian - see, the bastards aren't satisfied with just taking over

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/better-class-of-criminal.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-50771926634501401762008-06-17T20:44:00.005+01:002008-06-17T22:18:22.144+01:00

Don't you just hate it when somebody completely misses the point of a piece of satire? Indeed, completely miss the point of satire itself? Not surprisingly, I experience quite a lot of this, when people fail to grasp that everything on The Sleaze is completely fictional and intended to be read as satire. Recently, however, I came across an astounding example which didn't involve any of my work.

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/right-off-target.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-41875549349923718382008-06-16T19:46:00.003+01:002008-06-16T21:34:12.802+01:00

A technical interlude, folks. Today, I'd like to talk about web traffic. Most specifically, I'd like to talk about The Sleaze's web traffic. This has been significantly down over the past few weeks. Not just in terms of page views, but, more worryingly, in terms of visitors. I can't remember the last time I had to endure such a poor run of traffic. Right now, traffic has regressed back to the

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/traffic-jam.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-79708716584105862262008-06-12T19:27:00.008+01:002008-06-12T23:57:41.834+01:00

Embattled Prime Minister Gordon Brown has angrily denied that he bought the support of rebel Labour MPs and Ulster Unionists for new measures allowing police to hold terror suspects for up to forty-two days without charge by promising them sexual favours. "These are absolutely outrageous claims - at no time did I tell any backbenchers that I'd give them a blow-job if they voted for the Bill," he

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/gordon-brown-going-down.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-81508440926930740892008-06-10T19:55:00.002+01:002008-06-10T20:47:39.647+01:00

...Like fuck it has! Apparently (according to ITV, anyway), Britain's most talented person is some teenager who break dances under a shower. I'd be laughing if that bloody programme didn't get such huge viewing figures. It's all part of this bloody myth that there is this great pool of untapped talent out there, just waiting to be discovered. Depressingly, even the present Prime Minister

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/britains-got-talent.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22858811.post-67769755258124405852008-06-09T19:57:00.003+01:002008-06-09T20:53:27.469+01:00

We're living in a surveillance society, so they say. Every where we go our movements, no matter how mundane, are monitored. Even the simplest transaction now seems to require the provision of vast amounts of personal data to officialdom. The whole concept of privacy seems to be under threat. Not, of course, that this seems to be worrying the majority of the great British public. Indeed, the

Doc Sleazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09939793278552442225noreply@blogger.comhttp://sleazediary.blogspot.com/2008/06/spy-watch.html