Sleaze Diary

"To the Batmobile, Robin!"

2012-02-09T19:49:00.004Z

So here's the new plan: I'm going to change my last name to Gordon and put myself up for the job of Crapchester's new elected police commissioner. That's right - Commissioner Gordon. The first thing I'll do is install a huge searchlight on the roof of the local police station and, every time a crime is committed, I'll send up some kind of signal to alert our local super heroes. I'm still not sure

What the Dickens

2012-02-07T20:18:00.002Z

It's Charles Dickens' two hundredth birthday, hurrah! Cue lots of bollocks about literature and popular culture being spouted in the media by self-styled 'experts'. If you've ever written a book about Dickens, it apparently qualifies you to comment on the state of contemporary culture, apparently. Only the other day we had one of Dickens' more recent biographers telling us that modern children

Cold Comfort

2012-02-06T20:27:00.003Z

If it's Monday it must be time for a rant. Bearing in mind that we had some snow over the weekend, I think you can guess what I'm going to rant about: the weather. To be more accurate, I'm going to rant about the way the media, as ever, used the weather to try and scare us all. As soon as they thought there was a chance of snow, the TV weather forecasters started ramping up the fear factor, with

Onsug and Nightscape

2012-02-03T23:42:00.006Z

I've spent too much of this week moaning about various things, so I thought that I'd round the week off by telling you about something I like. As you may have noticed, I've been experimenting with podcasting for the past few months, with mixed results. A large part of my inspiration for these attempts has been the Overnightscape Underground (Onsug), an on line radio station in the form of a

Spineless Apologists

2012-02-02T19:56:00.003Z

I know that earlier this week I said that I was trying to confine myself to one political rant a week here, I'm afraid I'm going to have to indulge in another mini-rant today. That said, it isn't about politics. So I'm not really contradicting my earlier statements. Anyway, what's 'grinding my gears' at the moment is an attitude I keep encountering online, for wont of a better word, we could call

The Sleazecast 6: Following Through

2012-01-31T20:06:00.003Z

At last, Sleazecast 6: Following Through has arrived! As you may have gathered,I finally obtained a suitable USB cable to connect my voice recorder, (on which the elements of this podcast were stored), to my laptop and was finally able to edit the whole thing together over the weekend. It's something of a 'back to basics' edition following the the slickness of the 'studio' produced Christmas

Christian Values?

2012-01-30T19:48:00.004Z

I'm trying to ration myself to one political rant a week here on Sleaze Diary, on the basis that there's a limit to how much rage readers can take. But it isn't easy, I can tell you. Not a day goes by without the Tories and their partners in crime the Tory Lickspittles, sorry, Liberal Democrats, doing, saying or proposing some thing that sends me apoplectic. A bit like a left-wing Daily Mail

Sick and Twisted?

2012-01-27T20:22:00.003Z

Sometimes you find yourself doing or saying something that reveals you as having a sense of humour regarded as 'sick' or 'twisted' by your friends and acquaintances. An example: the other week I was in the pub when someone asked whether anyone knew what those things you get in Christmas crackers that you blow and the curled up end straightens out, are called, (they're apparently called party

A Whiter Shade of Confusion

2012-01-26T19:51:00.004Z

It seems that I'm not the only one prone to mishearing or misreading news reports and imagining a whole alternative story. Last weekend my younger brother told me that he had found himself confused by reports from Nigeria, which seemed to claiming that sixties proto-prog rockers Procol Harum had turned to terrorism and were engaged in a bombing campaign against Nigerian churches. He eventually

Tory Bastards - Again!

2012-01-24T21:44:00.004Z

I've got to hand it to this shambles of a government we're having to suffer under, they're very adept at diverting everyone's attention from the real issues. Right now they are, successfully it seems, shifting the blame for the current economic disaster from the very rich, to the poor. Yes, that's right, in Cameronland it is actually the victims who are to blame for their own plight! I'm

Dog Bites Child...

2012-01-23T21:23:00.003Z

I may not be able to bring you the scheduled edition of The Sleazecast for the reasons I've explained in the previous post, but I can offer a brief aside on a recent news story. I was watching the news report yesterday about the small child who had been savaged by a dog in an unprovoked attack in a Chingford park, when a couple of things occurred to me. One was the way in which the opening and

Due To Technical Difficulties...

2012-01-23T20:59:00.003Z

I was planning to bring you another edition of our podcast, The Sleazecast, today. However, I'm afraid that there have been some technical difficulties. The whole thing has been recorded with no problems, but unfortunately I can't get the recording off of my voice recorder due to the fact that the USB cable has, quite literally, fallen apart. Of course, being a cheap generic Chinese voice

Street Names of Shame

2012-01-20T20:42:00.009Z

It became clear to me today that, here in Crapchester, the council is running out of names for new streets. In the past we've had estates with road name themes including composers, poets, islands, birds, rivers, artists, even cricketers. However, today I had cause to visit part of a new estate which I hadn't previously ventured into and found possibly the worst street name theme I've ever come

Baker Street Beat

2012-01-19T20:04:00.003Z

Is it just me, or was the ending of Sherlock the other night remarkably similar to that of the most recent series of Doctor Who? Genius hero forced to fake own death to get hordes of enemies off back and enable them to go back 'undercover' after becoming too high profile. That just about sums both endings up. Of course, some similarities were inevitable. Quite apart from the fact that key

A Call to Arms

2012-01-17T20:08:00.002Z

It's time we took things into our own hands. It is clearly the only option. I feel I've now no choice but to grow a beard, wear a beret and set up a guerrilla training camp behind the bandstand in my local park. The two Eds depressing display at the weekend has made clear that Labour just can't be bothered to mount any kind of opposition to this shambolic government, instead cravenly embracing an

The Last of Christmas

2012-01-16T19:47:00.003Z

Well, that's it. I've just eaten the last piece of the Christmas cake my mother baked for me, and with it has gone the last remaining vestiges of Christmas 2011. I know it all ended officially on twelfth night and I did, indeed, pack away the decorations then, but I never quite feel the festive season is truly over until I've finished that cake. I can finally move on and face the new year!

Hoots Mons, Old Chap

2012-01-13T20:20:00.004Z

You have to imagine the following being said in an English public school accent by some toff: "Hoots mons, chappies and och aye the noo, old boy!" That's pretty much the level of David Cameron's attempts to woo the Scots into staying in the Union. "Look at me, och aye, I'm Scottish - I'm wearing tartan underpants, old fruit. You can trust me!" he might as well have said., as he tries to convince

Keep Taking The Pills

2012-01-12T19:53:00.004Z

Apparently my brother's Christmas was ruined by the presence of Jedward on every TV chat show and panel show. He's one of the millions of people driven to the brink of insanity by the gibberings of the Irish twins. Personally, I have nothing against them. I'm not sure what they're for, or why they're considered celebrities, but they seem nice enough, albeit excitable, lads. The main reaction they

Bad Reporting

2012-01-10T20:08:00.002Z

I was listening to Radio One the other day, (I like to keep down with the kids and get a handle on what the young people are listening to, you see), when I heard a news item that left me astounded. It was about a report which claimed that immigrants from the EU to the UK were the cause of the high levels of youth unemployment in the UK. The impression given when this was first reported was that

Back in the Old Routine

2012-01-09T19:41:00.003Z

Before we go anywhere else, I feel that I have to say a word or two in defence of self-styled celebrity chef and Tory supporter Anthony Worral Thomson, who has received a police caution for shoplifting cheese and wine from his local Tesco. Whilst, obviously, I would never condone such criminal activity, to be fair to Worral Thomson he was only following the example set by the Conservative Party's

Crappy New Year

2012-01-06T20:35:00.002Z

If the past three days are any indication of how 2012 is going to be, then it is going to be a long, hard slog. Going back to work is always Hell, but doing it whilst still suffering from the aftermath of last week's cold proved near suicidal. I was already exhausted through the lack of sleep caused by the bad nasal congestion I'd suffered, but going back to the mundane grind of the office has

Dead Serious

2012-01-05T20:02:00.002Z

I blame the Nazis for giving euthanasia such a bad name. I mean, if only it wasn't associated with genocide then it would be so much easier for proponents of assisted suicide to get the law changed. If it wasn't for those goose-stepping bastards offing anyone they thought might be a burden to good Aryan society - the sick, the mentally ill, Gypsies, Jews, communists, etc - then it wouldn't be

To Love a Lesbian Vampire

2012-01-03T19:47:00.003Z

It is the question which has perplexed horror movie fans for decades: which is superior, Hammer's 1970 lesbian vampire opus The Vampire Lovers, or its 1971 sequel, Lust For a Vampire? Opinion is sharply divided, even amongst the titans of British horror movie criticism, with Johnathan Rigby of English Gothic fame giving the nod (just) to the earlier film, whilst David Pirie author of Heritage of

Looking Forward

2012-01-02T21:03:00.002Z

A New Year dawns and I'm still feeling as sick as I did at the end of the old one. If I was superstitious I'd think this a poor omen for 2012. Luckily, I'm not, but I really need to shake off this nasal congestion which is lingering after the cold I had last week. It left me barely able to sleep for several nights and is now creating pressure in my sinuses. None of the decongestants I've tried

New Year's Eve 2011 at The Sleaze

2011-12-31T19:23:00.002Z

With 2011 rapidly hurtling toward oblivion, it's time to bring you our annual New Year's Eve celebration update. Well, as I'm still feeling bloody rough from the return of my cold earlier this week, I have every intention of staying in and drinking my own beer and watching some DVDs, (probably a couple of Hammer's early 1970s lesbian vampire flicks), this year. Last year, for the first time in an