Sleaze Diary

Sick and Twisted?

2012-01-27T20:22:00.003Z

Sometimes you find yourself doing or saying something that reveals you as having a sense of humour regarded as 'sick' or 'twisted' by your friends and acquaintances. An example: the other week I was in the pub when someone asked whether anyone knew what those things you get in Christmas crackers that you blow and the curled up end straightens out, are called, (they're apparently called party

A Whiter Shade of Confusion

2012-01-26T19:51:00.004Z

It seems that I'm not the only one prone to mishearing or misreading news reports and imagining a whole alternative story. Last weekend my younger brother told me that he had found himself confused by reports from Nigeria, which seemed to claiming that sixties proto-prog rockers Procol Harum had turned to terrorism and were engaged in a bombing campaign against Nigerian churches. He eventually

Tory Bastards - Again!

2012-01-24T21:44:00.004Z

I've got to hand it to this shambles of a government we're having to suffer under, they're very adept at diverting everyone's attention from the real issues. Right now they are, successfully it seems, shifting the blame for the current economic disaster from the very rich, to the poor. Yes, that's right, in Cameronland it is actually the victims who are to blame for their own plight! I'm

Dog Bites Child...

2012-01-23T21:23:00.003Z

I may not be able to bring you the scheduled edition of The Sleazecast for the reasons I've explained in the previous post, but I can offer a brief aside on a recent news story. I was watching the news report yesterday about the small child who had been savaged by a dog in an unprovoked attack in a Chingford park, when a couple of things occurred to me. One was the way in which the opening and

Due To Technical Difficulties...

2012-01-23T20:59:00.003Z

I was planning to bring you another edition of our podcast, The Sleazecast, today. However, I'm afraid that there have been some technical difficulties. The whole thing has been recorded with no problems, but unfortunately I can't get the recording off of my voice recorder due to the fact that the USB cable has, quite literally, fallen apart. Of course, being a cheap generic Chinese voice

Street Names of Shame

2012-01-20T20:42:00.009Z

It became clear to me today that, here in Crapchester, the council is running out of names for new streets. In the past we've had estates with road name themes including composers, poets, islands, birds, rivers, artists, even cricketers. However, today I had cause to visit part of a new estate which I hadn't previously ventured into and found possibly the worst street name theme I've ever come

Baker Street Beat

2012-01-19T20:04:00.003Z

Is it just me, or was the ending of Sherlock the other night remarkably similar to that of the most recent series of Doctor Who? Genius hero forced to fake own death to get hordes of enemies off back and enable them to go back 'undercover' after becoming too high profile. That just about sums both endings up. Of course, some similarities were inevitable. Quite apart from the fact that key

A Call to Arms

2012-01-17T20:08:00.002Z

It's time we took things into our own hands. It is clearly the only option. I feel I've now no choice but to grow a beard, wear a beret and set up a guerrilla training camp behind the bandstand in my local park. The two Eds depressing display at the weekend has made clear that Labour just can't be bothered to mount any kind of opposition to this shambolic government, instead cravenly embracing an

The Last of Christmas

2012-01-16T19:47:00.003Z

Well, that's it. I've just eaten the last piece of the Christmas cake my mother baked for me, and with it has gone the last remaining vestiges of Christmas 2011. I know it all ended officially on twelfth night and I did, indeed, pack away the decorations then, but I never quite feel the festive season is truly over until I've finished that cake. I can finally move on and face the new year!

Hoots Mons, Old Chap

2012-01-13T20:20:00.004Z

You have to imagine the following being said in an English public school accent by some toff: "Hoots mons, chappies and och aye the noo, old boy!" That's pretty much the level of David Cameron's attempts to woo the Scots into staying in the Union. "Look at me, och aye, I'm Scottish - I'm wearing tartan underpants, old fruit. You can trust me!" he might as well have said., as he tries to convince

Keep Taking The Pills

2012-01-12T19:53:00.004Z

Apparently my brother's Christmas was ruined by the presence of Jedward on every TV chat show and panel show. He's one of the millions of people driven to the brink of insanity by the gibberings of the Irish twins. Personally, I have nothing against them. I'm not sure what they're for, or why they're considered celebrities, but they seem nice enough, albeit excitable, lads. The main reaction they

Bad Reporting

2012-01-10T20:08:00.002Z

I was listening to Radio One the other day, (I like to keep down with the kids and get a handle on what the young people are listening to, you see), when I heard a news item that left me astounded. It was about a report which claimed that immigrants from the EU to the UK were the cause of the high levels of youth unemployment in the UK. The impression given when this was first reported was that

Back in the Old Routine

2012-01-09T19:41:00.003Z

Before we go anywhere else, I feel that I have to say a word or two in defence of self-styled celebrity chef and Tory supporter Anthony Worral Thomson, who has received a police caution for shoplifting cheese and wine from his local Tesco. Whilst, obviously, I would never condone such criminal activity, to be fair to Worral Thomson he was only following the example set by the Conservative Party's

Crappy New Year

2012-01-06T20:35:00.002Z

If the past three days are any indication of how 2012 is going to be, then it is going to be a long, hard slog. Going back to work is always Hell, but doing it whilst still suffering from the aftermath of last week's cold proved near suicidal. I was already exhausted through the lack of sleep caused by the bad nasal congestion I'd suffered, but going back to the mundane grind of the office has

Dead Serious

2012-01-05T20:02:00.002Z

I blame the Nazis for giving euthanasia such a bad name. I mean, if only it wasn't associated with genocide then it would be so much easier for proponents of assisted suicide to get the law changed. If it wasn't for those goose-stepping bastards offing anyone they thought might be a burden to good Aryan society - the sick, the mentally ill, Gypsies, Jews, communists, etc - then it wouldn't be

To Love a Lesbian Vampire

2012-01-03T19:47:00.003Z

It is the question which has perplexed horror movie fans for decades: which is superior, Hammer's 1970 lesbian vampire opus The Vampire Lovers, or its 1971 sequel, Lust For a Vampire? Opinion is sharply divided, even amongst the titans of British horror movie criticism, with Johnathan Rigby of English Gothic fame giving the nod (just) to the earlier film, whilst David Pirie author of Heritage of

Looking Forward

2012-01-02T21:03:00.002Z

A New Year dawns and I'm still feeling as sick as I did at the end of the old one. If I was superstitious I'd think this a poor omen for 2012. Luckily, I'm not, but I really need to shake off this nasal congestion which is lingering after the cold I had last week. It left me barely able to sleep for several nights and is now creating pressure in my sinuses. None of the decongestants I've tried

New Year's Eve 2011 at The Sleaze

2011-12-31T19:23:00.002Z

With 2011 rapidly hurtling toward oblivion, it's time to bring you our annual New Year's Eve celebration update. Well, as I'm still feeling bloody rough from the return of my cold earlier this week, I have every intention of staying in and drinking my own beer and watching some DVDs, (probably a couple of Hammer's early 1970s lesbian vampire flicks), this year. Last year, for the first time in an

The Man Who Scared Me Witless

2011-12-30T18:56:00.003Z

I saw the other day that Don Sharp had died at the age of ninety. Now, unless, like me, you are an aficionado of low-budget British horror movies, the name won't mean anything to you. However, for some of us Don Sharp has a special place in our hearts. In horror-movie circles he is best remembered for the two Gothic horrors he made for Hammer in the 1960s: Kiss of the Vampire (1963) and Rasputin,

Colour Blind

2011-12-29T18:44:00.003Z

My plans to record another edition of The Sleazecast have been stymied by the return of my cold - having had one edition constantly interrupted by my sniffing, I have no intention of repeating the experience. So, instead I've turned my attention to something I was going to write about last week, before I got caught up in the Christmas festivities. As you may recall, BBC Match of The Day pundit

Devil Woman - More Adventures in Italian Sexploitation Cinema

2011-12-27T20:00:00.004Z

OK, so I had that bath and shave I was talking about yesterday and then settled down to watch a DVD I'd been given as a present. Baba Yaga, directed in 1973 by Corrada Farina, is another of those Italian sexploitation films I'm so fond of, or is it that simple? On the surface the film, based on a comic strip by Guido Crepax, is a simple story of a fashion photographer Valentina being reluctantly

The Day After Christmas...

2011-12-26T19:40:00.003Z

OK, I've just resurfaced after what seems like several days of excessive food and alcohol consumption. Not to mention staying up to ungodly hours of the night watching old films. I think I've just about returned to some kind of functionality as a human being, although I badly need a shave and a soak in a warm bath - luckily I haven't left the house in nearly forty-eight hours, following my return

Christmas Eve 2011 at The Sleaze

2011-12-24T19:12:00.002Z

Well, the sausage rolls are baked, the whiskey cracked open and the last seasonal greetings delivered (via text) to absent friends, so it must finally be Christmas. Mind you it was a close run thing - for a while yesterday I thought it might all get called off this year. When I saw that Prince Philip had been admitted to hospital with chest pains I feared the worst - a Royal demise would surely

The Sleazecast: Christmas Special

2011-12-23T20:29:00.005Z

Here it is, a record of the only Christmas party I ever attend: The Sleaze staff Christmas party. Join us in the The Sleazecast: Christmas Special, as we celebrate the season of goodwill to all men, (except carol singers). All the ingredients for a great Christmas are here: reflections on the spirit of the season, a guide to tasteful decorations, a ghost story, drunken party antics and angry

Party On Down

2011-12-22T20:01:00.002Z

Have we ever talked about Christmas parties? I'm sure we must have, but that still isn't going to stop me prattling on about them again. I know I must have mentioned my anathema toward office Christmas parties, ( at risk of repeating myself, I've only ever attended one, when I first started working, and it was horrendous, not helped by the fact that I was on medication for a bout of flu and