Despite my failed attempt to clean up my carnivore diet, I did learn something along the way - a little bit of self-deprivation is good for the soul.  Denying myself delicious things taught me a lot about my mind-body connection.  It felt empowering to be in control.  It was a truly spiritual connection.  In fact, self denial is a reoccurring them throughout many religions.  Jesus spent 40 days and nights in the desert fasting (and then tempted by Satan).   The Buddha fasted for 49 days during his quest for enlightenment.  In Judaism, Yom Kippur is used as a day of fasting and meditation.  Considered one of the most holy days of the year, it’s a day for prayer and penance.  By removing food, you remove distraction and are forced to focus deeper on your spiritual pursuits.

It sounds like I’m going to fast, huh? Well, I’m not.  I find it an amazing and noble cause, but it’s not for me - at least not this stage in the game.  But, what I am going to do, is try to cut out meat again.  This time, however, I’ve got Chris on board.   First we’re going to eat down our supply of meat in the deep freezer, which shouldn’t take too long, and try our best to make vegetarian choices at lunch.  It won’t be easy, especially since we eat out most weekday lunches, but should be a good challenge for our will power.  I’m looking forward to feeling both powerful and frustrated at the same time.  Here’s hoping!

With that said - anyone have any good tofu recipes?

Surround yourself with people who lift you up at all times and restore you and comfort you in your time of need.  Show them great kindness, love, and forgiveness during their times of need.  And never waste your time with people who are reckless with your heart.

Beyond peace and quiet, I’m really looking forward to the return of school so I can pack her lunch.  Yep, that’ right. Packing her lunch excites me.  You see, I bought her a nifty bento box and a new Hello Kitty lunchbox.  What’s a bento box, you ask? It’s a cute Japanese lunch box with little compartments.  You often see bento boxes at Japanese restaurants on their lunch menu, but your typical kids made-at-home bento is much more elaborate and creative.

* picture from ohdeedoh.com 

I bought several veggie cutters and Hello Kitty cookie cutters (for sandwiches).  I’m hoping this will inspire Cecilia to eat more of her lunch.  Unfortunately, a lot of her lunches come back with hardly any food consumed.  I suspect she’s a little jealous of her classmates overly processed Lunchables (sorry, guys, but meat shouldn’t come wrapped up like that).  If anything, I think the fun shapes and colors will intrigue her friends, and Sass loves the attention.  It’s also a great way to style leftovers to make them more appealing.

*picture from  flickr.com

Bentos are just for kids.  Chris also got a box for Christmas, and he loves it.

If you want to read up on Bentos, there’s quite a bit of good information out on the web.  If you need ideas on how to create cute boxes, there’s a few Bento blogs.  Sometimes they’re hard to find in the US for a good price.  (The ones I’ve seen on Amazon are expensive!)  However, I found some great deals on Bentos and accessories on eBay from sellers in Hong Kong & China. Make sure you check your shipping costs!

Happy Bento Boxing!

One of the things that is currently taking some of my energies is yoga.  I’m in the process of obtaining my Registered Yoga Teacher - 200 hour (RYT-200) certification.  I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with the certification.  I’ve done a little teaching already, and technically I can teach now.  However, I’m not sure if I want to.  I’m just enjoying the courses and growing my knowledge.  I feel like I fell into this program and that I’m just suppose to be doing it.  I’ll see where the journey takes me, and even if it doesn’t take me anywhere, I’m really loving the ride.

Hopefully, just with that little paragraph, you can see that my yoga training has changed my thought processes a bit.  I’m sure I’ll delve deeper into that another day, but for this post, I want to talk about projections.   In my last class, we talked about how we are all projections of God and how this is a commonality in all religion.  The Bible even says in Genesis 1:27, “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” For most of my life, I interpreted to this to a literal meaning - I physically look like God, but I now realize that perception is much to superficial.  My physical body is earthly.  It’s is my soul that is unearthly. Dare I even say divine?  My soul was created by God in his own image.  Or rather, my soul is a projection of God.

I know - it’s heavy.  Take a second to process it.  Or, if you think I’m swimming in heathen waters, take a second to pray for me.

Back to the divine soul.  God created these amazing souls and entrusted them to us.  He also gave us some pretty basic instructions - love.  Love everyone.  Love all the time.  And if you really think about it, the root of a joyful, fulfilling life is love.  In love, we find gratitude.  In love, we find acceptance.  In love, we find peace.  In love, we find fulfillment and contentment.

These thoughts have forced me to focus on my own projections.  If my soul is a projection of God, is my life a projection of my soul?  We have the ability to lift up and give love to folks so easily.  Kindness to a cashier.  Willingness to let another driver into the line of backed up cars.  Donations of goods and time to those in need.  Gratitude for those who serve you.  But also, just as importantly, we have the ability to not bring someone down.  We can choose to not react and not take offense.  We can approach others’ digressions with an open heart and know that there will be a coming day that we will be the transgressor.

Of course, my saying of these things hardly makes me an expert.  I struggle.  I get flustered, especially on school mornings, and snip at my husband and child.  I get annoyed.  I get angry.  And that’s with taking anti-anxiety medicine every day.  However, I’m trying to be mindful.  I try to ask myself if my words or actions will bring someone down.  I try to focus on the good things and ignore the bad.  I try to just say, “Thank you,” when receiving a compliment instead of undoing it by downplaying or contradicting the giver’s kind words.  I want my life, my words, and my actions to be a projection of my soul.  I want my energy to be a loving energy.  I want to feed the fire of another spirit, not dampen it.

My challenge for you is to take a moment to reflect on your projections.  Does your praise always come with a criticism?  Do you spend more time wanting and not enough time being grateful?  Do your words project a loving energy or a negative energy?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7

But then she turned two.

Suddenly, she hated everything except hot dogs and applesauce, and even then, those foods had certain rules.  Hot dogs need ketchup, and the applesauce had to be the squeezy packet kind.  Homemade, home canned organic applesauce wasn’t good enough.  It needed a cap.

Thankfully Cecilia’s starting to come out of that a little bit.  She’s starting to eat salad with dressing and applesauce in individual container.  Once again, tofu is a favorite.  However, some stuff is still a toss up.  She hates melon, loves grapes.  She’ll only eat carrots that have cooked all day with a roast.  It’s just trial and error.

Today, however, was a big win.  Last night I grabbed a bunch of apples from the bargain bin at the grocery store.  You know, the ones with a spot on them and need to be consumed immediately.  Normally I only buy squash or something that is easy to prepare and consume a lot of at one time.  It had been a while since I made dried fruit in my awesome food dehydrator, and I thought apple chips would make a good snack.

I have to admit that I was a little frustrated while cutting up 15 pieces of fruit, but it was totally worth it this morning when I discovered Cecilia LOVES dried apples.  Fresh apples are one of those toss up fruits for her - some days she’ll eat it, some days she just gives it to the dog - but she can’t get enough dried apples.  And it’s a big bonus that I know where the apples came from and that NOTHING was added to them. It’s just fruit - no sugars, no preservatives.  Looks like I’ll be shopping that bargain fruit bin a little more.

I digress.

If you see my child in the next few days, please do not judge us and assume that I’m one of those stage moms.  I know she’s sporting  very dark, nearly black, purple fingernail polish.  Trust me, I would have painted them a soft pink if I could have.  However, I promised Cecilia that I would paint her fingernails if she pooped in the potty.  In fact, I’ve been promising her this for nearly two weeks without any success.  But today, she told me she needed to go, and she peed AND pooped on the potty.  When she got off the potty, she was very excited and told me she wanted “Purple!!” Unfortunately, the only purple I had was dark, emo purple.

Basically what I’m saying is that my desire to potty train my child outweighs my desire to get your approval as a good mom.  Amen.

I went to the gym before dinner time, and knowing that dinner would be late, Chris got through the bathtime routine while they waited for me to come home with pizza.  After we consumed delicious Papa Murphy’s, I told Cecilia that it was time to brush teeth, and she followed me to the bathroom.  Once we were there, she started twirling her hair, looked at me, and said, “Daddy already brushed my teeth so…”  I wasn’t sure I heard her right and asked her to repeat herself.  Again, she said, “Daddy already brushed my teeth so…”

For the record, we brushed and flossed, and Chris had, in fact, brushed her teeth before dinner.

My relationship to diet soda is a lot like a smokers relationship to cigarettes.  Well, maybe it’s not that deadly, but it’s that strong and addictive. I really struggle with this one. I’ve got two dietitian friends, and one firmly believes that all soda, even diet soda, is bad for you.  (The other is as equally addicted to Coke Zero as I am.)  However, I’ve been trying to eliminate processed foods from my families diet and replacing it with healthier options, and it doesn’t take a nutrition degree to realize diet soda is the ultimate processed food.  I mean, there’s nothing natural about that stuff.  It’s made of chemicals - delicious chemicals - but chemicals just the same.

Many, many years ago, I gave up caffeine, and since I don’t like Diet Sprite or 7up, I consumed very little soda.  I felt better physically than I had ever felt, and I was also the smallest that I’ve ever been.  At this stage in my life, giving up caffeine isn’t an option I’m willing to explore. I love my morning cup of coffee (albeit 3/4 decaff), and I enjoy drinking unsweet tea while dining out. There are women who can live with a toddler and live without caffeine.  I am not one of those women.

I know it’s only been four days, but it’s been hard.  I get Coke Zero cravings several times a day.  The coolers at the registers at the grocery store call to me.  I’ve been trying to replace my soda with water, but let’s face it - water sucks.  I told Chris that I would try it for three months and see if I feel better, but I think the reality is that I have to take it day by day and hope that three months come quickly.

I’ve been going to the same classes for over a year now.  I’ve developed several friendships there.  I’m not sure if they ever notice my toes, but I really notice them there, especially during all the forward folds when my feet are literally in front of my face.  Today was incredibly embarrassing as we were working on proper form and alignment.  Our instructor, who’s also a friend, was checking out our foot placement and correcting us when necessary.  I found myself completely distracted by my ugly feet.

But then during a seated twist, she told the class something that she says often, “You are where you are.”  She was telling folks to not push further into a stretch and to be mindful of where their limitations are.  After all, you can really injure yourself when you try to force your body into something it’s not ready for.  But that got me thinking - I’m surrounded by people who love me.  My toes look this way because I’m stressed.  I am where I am.  If I pretend that I’m not stressed is to force myself into a place that I’m not.  I would be hiding my true self.  To expose your flaws and weakness is to be open, and when you are open, you able to receive and give more love.  I am where I am. I will be okay with that.