We’re fascinated by the many starlets whose enviably svelte figures grace the pages of fashion and gossip magazines, looking equally perfect in their couture gowns as in their teeny bikinis, while in interviews they speak of their love of cupcakes and pasta.  We watch in fascination as Kendall Jenner throws back several muffins while at breakfast with her older sister in a scene from Keeping Up With The Kardashians and wonder, “How does she DO it?!?”  And let’s be real: we all have that ONE woman we know who seems to defy the harsh reality most people have learned they can’t escape without at the very least getting bloated.

So what gives?  What truly is the difference between those women and everyone else?

It all comes down to one simple thing: Brainwashing

We’re all brainwashed in a variety of ways – it’s how cultural norms are established.  Certain specific ways of behaving and seeing the world are common among certain cultural groups and not others, simply because it’s been ingrained in the minds of members of that cultural group for generations, and now the brainwashing of younger generations to see the world as their predecessors have is simply an automatic process.

This is brainwashing.

This is the reason some cities, states, or cultural groups have a higher incidence of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, etc… and also the reason that certain subsets of society have a very different picture of health, and one with far fewer maladies.

I went to a family reunion recently and realized that I have been brainwashed to eat and live in a very different manner than my relatives from Minnesota had.  What they thought was normal, I found completely unacceptable; what I that was normal, they didn’t think seemed quite right.

I’m not saying one is better than the other, but we clearly see the world differently.  We are brainwashed in different ways; and it’s my opinion that, if you are going to live a brainwashed existence (which is inevitable), then have it work for you!!

Why You’re Not Getting the Truth

I’m going to touch on a concept that we need to address before moving forward as it will quell any confusion about what is real… and what we think is real.

Think of the examples I mentioned at the beginning of this post: people who say they eat the way most of us eat, but somehow don’t look the way that most of us look.  It seems that they somehow are exempt from the rules of calories in/calories out, and old adages of the “a minute on the lips, years on the hips” variety (you know, the ones that prove true for the rest of us) don’t quite seem to apply.

So what’s really going on?

Very simply, they know that we are all brainwashed, and they are working within those parameters.  Of course they eat and work their bodies very differently than the average American does, but they also know that the “average American” will not be able to relate to them as easily if they don’t project similarities with diet and lifestyle.

In addition to being more relatable, defying laws of nature gives an individual a mystique and cache that eludes the normal person.  This gives people a sense of power, both real and imagined.

I live in Hollywood.  I know a LOT of people who actively starve themselves, but would never in a million years admit it.  Or, if they DO admit it, they would only do so to another woman who certainly starves herself as well.

I’m not saying that the way to be thin is to starve yourself; rather, I’m saying that people’s methods for attaining their ideal figure are often kept private and only openly shared among other individuals who follow the same set of rules, buy into the same set of “facts,” and (here we go) are brainwashed the same way.

What IS The Truth?

All I can do is speak from my own experience and my own brainwashed point of view.  I live in Hollywood where everyone looks like a movie star or, at the very least, a contestant on The Bachelor.

A few rules:

1) Cereal is not a legitimate meal.  Sure, I love cereal!  I grew up having it for breakfast every day and have never lost my taste for it; however, because I like to be slim, I don’t eat it.  When I do, I call it what it is: junk food.  You wouldn’t have an ice cream sundae for breakfast, would you?  Well, that’s how we see cereal in Hollywood.  Even Special K, ladies.  Even Grapenuts.

2) Egg whites are the only way to go. You will never see a slim and trim woman eating a yellow omelette.  You just won’t.

3) Sandwiches are for dudes. Again, I’m not knocking sandwiches.  I love them as well!  But the FACT of the matter is, we women simply cannot eat them AND look great in a bikini.  One or the other.

4) If you see us eating pasta, it’s because we’ve been dieting for a week. No hard and fast rule on a timeline here, but you will, once in a while see a slim beautiful lady eating pasta.  She DOES NOT eat that way normally.  We always have to indulge from time to time, but pasta is something to be earned.  It’s exhausting to work off, so most women only enjoy it on special occasions.

5) We have wine in lieu of cake. One easy way to fill up and keep your energy up is to have a glass of wine before you eat and during your meal.  It will satisfy you sweet tooth and curb your appetite, all while giving you a little boost for fun!  If you’ve ever known anyone who decided to eliminate alcohol in order to lose weight, they probably have stories of actually gaining weight because of an increase in cravings of sweets.  And we all know those are hard to control!  So, we just take that knowledge and work with it.

6)  We fill up on sparkling water.  Zero calories, and it makes you feel full so you eat less.  You’re welcome!

7) Dinner is protein and vegetables. No rice, no potatoes, no bread basket… we get out carbs from that glass of wine I just told you about.

You’re probably getting the point, and these are just a few examples.  To me, they seem normal… but the moment I spend a day with someone outside of my circle and see that they have cereal for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, drink soda, and it comes up in conversation that they have actually consumed the poisonous garbage from McDonald’s (which I refuse to refer to as “food,” by the way – it is as fit for consumption as old car tires and plastic wrap [see the brainwashing?  but I never eat at McDonald’s and I’m better for it])… I see how differently we see things.

The point here is to learn the little tricks that make a difference in your body, and then drill them into your head as the ONLY possible way to eat and live.

Every day we are bombarded by images from advertisers trying to appeal to our weak will and intense addiction to food (think: fast food, pizza, dessert, breakfast burritos, cheese fries).  These images have brainwashed us into thinking that it’s OK to put food in our mouths that decrease the value of our bodies while simultaneously increasing the value of the businesses who create these foods.

Simply accept that you’re being brainwashed no matter what, and simply make it work for you.

Why the “Us and Them?”

Why do all the skinny women have all skinny women friends?  Is it because they are superficial and don’t like women who are bigger?

Hardly.

It’s really quite simple: It’s not fun to spend time with people who think you are weird.  And guess what: if a skinny girl goes to lunch with someone who makes remarks about how she asks for dressing on the side, and makes her feel guilty because she isn’t up for sharing a side of fries – she’s not going to spend time with that person anymore.  The next time she goes out for a meal, she’s going to go with someone who ALSO asks for a box so she can only eat half and take the rest home for dinner.

**note: If any of you judged that last point, take a look at the calorie count on restaurant many meals.  They can easily reach 800 or more… half of that is certainly sufficient for a meal.  Keep in mind, people on Weight Watchers typically consume around 1200-1300 calories/day, even in their maintenance stage.

We all just want to go about our lives and live the way we want to live without anyone giving us crap about it.  Doesn’t that sound about right?

That’s all there is to it!

A seriously guilty pleasure, and while I was certainly late to the party (I’ve only been watching for the past year or so), I’ve purchased and watched every last episode that is available on iTunes.

I started off with Jason Mesnick, but soon moved onto Brad Womack’s second season.  This has proven to be one of my favorites and is also the first time we meet Emily Maynard, who a few seasons later ends up being The Bachelorette!

OK, so Emily is obviously well loved by her fans, and is probably the most popular Bachelorette ever from what I have gathered.

But WHY?

I’m not going to analyze why I think the public is so enamored with her, I’m sure you can find other articles on that; I’d simply like to share with you my own thoughts on what I think makes her so cool.

I’m not a typical fan girl.

I watch the show mostly because it’s a great way (correction: the BEST way) to pass the time as I get my cardio done at the gym.  It’s interesting to watch the drama of it all and to watch people win or lose their internal battles, and overall, to see people losing their shit.

When compared with other contestants on the show, here is why I think Emily takes the cake:

1) She always remains composed

You’ve never witnessed her participating in the drama or speaking ill of anyone.  Although she participates in circus-style show that is The Bachelor, she never gets pulled into the dark side of it all.  She’s nice to everyone, and she does not have a breakdown, ever.

Although when she was a contestant on Brad’s season, she was obviously in competition with the other girls, she never let it get the best of her.  She always just stayed true to herself and her relationship, and didn’t succumb to the envy and drama that has gotten the best of almost every other woman who has ever done the show.

2) She values herself

It seems that Emily is always in touch with who she is and never compromises her morals or does anything that is beyond her level of comfort.  She doesn’t get angry, she just politely declines anything that isn’t in keeping with what she feels is right.

When Brad asked her to join him in the “Fantasy Suite,” she said she’d like to spend more time with him, but was clear that she would not be spending the night.  But there was nothing negative about the declining of the invitation – because it came from a place of self-love and self-respect, and no other baggage.

She looks out for herself, and does it with grace.

3) She stands up for herself

When Emily was the Bachelorette, she was forced to deal with a few pigs, most memorably, Kalon, who famously referred to her daughter, Ricky, as “baggage.”

And what did she do?

She told him to “get the f**k out.”

And she did it like a lady.  There’s nothing wrong with showing your guns, and it was great to watch a woman do it with grace, all while looking fabulous, and all because she values herself and her family.

Often, as women, we don’t feel that we can stand up for ourselves and speak strongly without losing it.  She didn’t lose it, she was just clear.

She has high standards.  And it’s wonderful to watch because we all should be sure to maintain comparably high standards for ourselves.

4) She always looks like a million bucks

OK, she’s probably had some help with veneers, some plastic surgery, and some regular visits to the dermatologist, but we are living in the modern age.  Let’s be real.

That being said, she embraces her femininity.  Being feminine is a beautiful thing!  Let’s not let that go out of style.  I love when women wear makeup and wear dresses, stand up straight, speak well and have good manners.  Classic femininity is timeless.

5) She has good manners

I’ve already touched on this, but it truly is so important.  With so many other female role models out there who have a rougher edge, it’s wonderful for America to have a someone to role model good manners and grace.

As I’ve watched other seasons of the show,  I’ve yet to find another woman who is as good an example of what it truly means to be a lady in modern times.

I believe that trends and sensational styles and behaviors have their time and place, but being timeless trumps them all.  I believe that Emily fits this bill.

A strong, independent woman who handles herself with grace.  This is being a woman means to me.

…And as I go through my life and find myself falling short, I sometimes think, “What would Emily do?”

I think we would all benefit from following her example.

I’m very excited to be live online and sharing my experiences with you.

I’m just your everyday girl trying to discover the best version of myself.  I’m 25 years old and I live in Hollywood, CA.

I’m into general self-improvement, health and fitness, and entrepreneurship.

When I’m not blogging, I can be found hiking Runyon Canyon, trying new restaurants, reading books, or wandering the aisles of Whole Foods.

Looking forward to sharing my journey with you all!

-Dani