Slice of Life Blog : TLC

TLC iPhone App – For Free!

Julie Douglas — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:19:01 -0500

Get videos, blog posts, photos and more from your favorite TLC shows. Download the TLC iPhone App now to view your favorite TLC moments!

What if you don’t have an iPhone? No fear: The app allows you to watch videos, look at photos and read blogs through iTunes.

Win the War Against Germs

Sheila Kelly — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 13:17:10 -0500

Germs breed faster than bunnies. In less than 24 hours one single bacteria cell can multiply to more than 8 million -- and it only takes 10 bacteria cells to make you sick.

Keep them at bay with these five germ-fighting tips, beginning first with how to smartly disinfect around your home.

How to Talk to Your Children About Birth and Death

Joelle Klein — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:32:02 -0500

My 3-year-old daughter is really into people and relationship connections these days. She understands that grandma and papa are my mother and father. And that dada is my husband and she’s my daughter.

So, it was inevitable that she would ask where my husband’s father, who passed away 20 years ago, was. When she first asked Tom that question, he just awkwardly moved passed it saying “I’m not ready for that one.” But she’s asked it again in different ways: “Why does Ammy live alone?” or “Where’s Ammy’s husband?” (Ammy=my mother-in-law)

I tried “He’s not here.”

“Where is he?” she asked.

“He’s in heaven,” I said meekly.

“Heaven? Where’s that?”

“That’s where dada’s daddy is.” I answered.

That seemed to not only satisfy, luckily, her but it also provided me with the answer when she asked where my grandma was.

Myhusband and I are different religions and never really discussed our thoughts on what happens when people die, so my answer was not religious-based --more of a desperate attempt to give her an answer that would satisfy her.

Relationship coach John Wilder says when dealing with difficult questions from your children“honesty is the best solution coupled with age appropriate information delivered matter-of-factly without embarrassment on the part of the parent.”

The experts on How Stuff Works agree that you should always try to be truthful with your child, no matter how embarrassing it can be to “foster your child's trust in you and his confidence that the answers you give are reasonable and valid.” They suggest to discuss death with your children as you come across it in your daily lives like on nature walks when you see a dead bird or insect; “you have an opportunity to explain that everything that lives eventually dies.”

Ok, next difficult subject that has come up with our daughter: babies. I was reading a Lyle the Crocodile story to her and there was a pregnant woman in the story, with a large belly, who had the baby at the end of the book.

“How did the baby get out of her belly?” Selby asked.

“It just came out.” I answered lamely.

I wish I had answered like my friend Elaine (and will next time the subject comes up), whose son Ari is the same age as my Selby. She says that she and her husband, a pediatrician, answer all their children’s questions honestly and simply. “After I explained a baby comes out the mommy’s birth canal through the vagina, I did explain that Ari came out a hole in mommy’s belly, and showed him my c-section scar,” she said.

When Ari asked where the pee comes out if, she answered: The urethra. Now Ari knows more biology than I do.

But I do love this story from Lisa Manning from South Carolina about how the 9-year-old brother of the 3-year-old she nannied for explained to him where the baby “comes out”. “There is a door between mommy's legs that is especially for babies. When it is time for the baby to come out, the door opens and the doctor takes the baby out." Not scientifically accurate, but very creative!

For both topics, and many more, a great alternative to stumbling your way through sex and other awkward questions is to turn to books that deal specifically with these subjects.

How do you handle difficult questions from your children? Can you recommend any books that were especially helpful?

Photo credit: Getty Images

Can You Train Your Child Like You Train a Dog?

Joelle Klein — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:59:02 -0500

Before we had a child, my husband and I got a puppy. I was a bit of pushover with Nika while my husband was always strict. Our parenting styles with our dog pretty much carried over to our daughter. We joked that we wanted to kennel train her, as opposed to potty train her. And after she peed all over my beach bag last week on vacation, I’m wishing we did try that approach.

But some parents are not kidding about training their child like they train their dog. A recent New York Times article talks about how some parents are getting ideas on how to discipline their child from Cesar Millan, the famed Dog Whisperer. “Some parents… say they find inspiration, and even practical advice, in Mr. Millan’s approach, which teaches pet owners how to become the alpha dogs by projecting his trademark ‘calm-assertive energy.’”

Child Therapist Brenna M. Hicks agrees on her Blog The Kid Counselor that some of Millan’s techniques do actually transfer well to parenting. She says that parents, like dog owners, need to recognize what they present to their children. “Upwards of 90% of our human communication is non-verbal. Therefore, what we don’t say often holds more significance than what we do. Keeping our emotions in check, positive and negative, and remaining in control of our behaviors, helps teach our kids to do the same.”

It all boils down to being the leader of the pack in your own house. And when I think about this, it really makes sense to me. Whenever I talk to my mother about my daughter doing this or that, she often says “Joelle, who’s in charge?” which is meant sort of as a joke -- but not really.

The truth is using animal training techniques (the less psychical ones) to discipline your child is nothing new, according to this Slate article. In fact, the authors say the well known “Time-Out” technique was first developed in studies on rats. But, they say, that parents often cringe at the thought of using techniques used on animals on their children. If they could only get over that, it would help, say the authors. “But, whatever the understandable reasons for popular uneasiness about the role of animal research in our understanding of the psychology of parenting, maybe it's a mistake to shy away from talking about it—or, more properly, from talking about nonhuman animal research, since engaging it head-on moves us toward recognizing that people are more like animals, and animals more like people, than we might naturally want to assume.”

Honestly, I don’t see the difference between rewarding my dog with a treat and giving my daughter an M&M every time she sits on the potty (and a lollypop for pooping on the potty). And I really don’t care where the technique came from – as long as it works. If there were only a study on monkeys that showed how to get them dressed faster in the morning; that would be really helpful to me.

What do you think about using dog training tricks to discipline your children?

Photo credit: Getty Images

What Are You Thankful For?

Joelle Klein — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:49:00 -0500

I mentioned in my brief bio that I’m a Facebook addict, and it’s true. I know most of the time people write trivial updates like “Just watched a great movie” or “Just went to the bathroom,” etc. But, I think, it’s a fun way to keep up with friends, especially friends I haven’t seen or talked to in a while. (Unfortunately, it’s also a great way to procrastinate) But I noticed the other day a new “viral” posting about giving thanks:

“Let's see how many people can do this. Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. ‘Today I am thankful for...’ The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now, if you think you can do it, then repost this message as your status to invite others to take the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today.”

Now I didn’t post it as my status message but I’ve noticed that a lot of those “Just ate a sandwich for lunch” updates have been replaced with thoughtful posts about things that people are grateful for in their lives..

I think it’s nice to take a moment to really think about all the good things in your life. When do you ever do that?

When I was younger we celebrated Thanksgiving with the Katz family. For years my immediate family would join their extended family at their house in River Vale, NJ. As we all got married and had children, they added tables and chairs and continued to accommodate all of us first in their living room and then in their basement. It was always a good time -- like a big play date with tons of good food.

But they sold their house and moved to the city many years ago. We were at a loss for a new Thanksgiving tradition for a few years but now we celebrate it at my house. My parents fly in from New York every year because my daughter’s birthday is within a day or two of the holiday. We usually take in few Thanksgiving “orphans” too. I’m often too stressed about the meal and the evening to think about what I’m grateful for, but I am definitely starting that tradition this year. I'll have everyone go around the table and say what they're most grateful for in their lives. Because it’s not only nice to think about what you’re grateful for in your life, but to also hear what others are.

What are you thankful for?

Do You Read Bad News About Children?

Joelle Klein — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:46:18 -0500

Last week I took note of the MacLaren stroller recall, but I avoided reading news about the amputations caused by the faulty products. Whenever I see a headline that involves injury or harm to a child, I am drawn to it but try to resist reading it because I know the story will stay with me.

Two years ago there was a flash flood in Denver and there was a story about a grandmother who got caught in it while taking her 2-year-old grandson for a walk. She ended up in an unfortunate location where the water rose too quickly for her to seek shelter. I remember reading that she held on to some sort of pole but could not keep her grip on her grandson, who was carried away by the water. When rescuers found her she was so distraught about her grandson she begged them to leave her and go search for him.

I was riveted by this story and checked the headlines regularly for an update, hoping that they would find him unharmed. It did not end well. This story still haunts me. I was tempted to write a letter of condolence to the family because I was so upset by the news.

Since I’ve become a parent my taste in movies and books has changed also. Although I love Mark Ruffalo, I wouldn’t even consider seeing his movie "Reservation Road," where he accidentally kills a child in a car accident. And even though "TheLovely Bones" by Alice Sebold was a muched talked about best-seller, I skipped that one too because I knew it involved the death of a child.

But some moms are the opposite of me. Lisa Belkin writes in her Motherlode Blog that she is drawn to reading about tragedies or thinking about tragic things happening to her children because she (strangely) thinks that is she does, this will somehow protect her family from these types of events.

“As a reporter, I noticed long ago that the response to nearly any newsworthy tragedy is, ‘I never thought it could happen to me,’” she writes. “Hence, absurdly linear logic would mean that thinking about it will ensure it will not happen. So when planes take off I imagine them crashing, when my children pull away from the curb I flash on the worst possible consequences, when they cough I fast-forward to tuberculosis.”

I think it’s because of our 24/7 news cycle that every outlet needs to keep their website fresh or their videos compelling that there is so much more tragic news reported than ever before. And as a result, we read about abductions or kidnappings as if they were commonplace as opposed to the extremely rare situations that they are.

So is the answer to avoid tragic news or consume it so that we become jaded or immune to it? Maybe it’s just healthier to focus on celebrity gossip? (ha!)

How to Make Your Skin Feel and Look Better This Winter

Joelle Klein — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:58:50 -0500

About this time of year I begin to itch – a lot. And I have trouble sleeping because my throat becomes so dry at night that it’s almost painful. I compulsively apply chapstick to my lips and slather cream on my hands. Winter is so drying, especially here in Colorado that I feel like a big scarecrow sometimes. And when you turn on your heating system, it sucks even more moisture out of the air. But there are ways to combat this drying winter weather that really work, if you follow them.

• One of the first things I do when I start feeling dry is break out my humidifier. I swear this solved my sleep problem immediately but it has a multitude of benefits with regards to dry skin. Riley Greene, M.D., of the Denver Skin Clinic says that a humidifier won’t only help you feel better; it will make you look better too. “When the skin dries, wrinkles appear more prominent,” says Greene. "If your skin is hydrated, it will look plumper and hide the wrinkles." But many people are confused as to what type of humidifier to buy: warm mist, cold mist, big, small, etc. You can check out this article I wrote for Gaiamlife.com about humidifiers and how to pick the right one for advice.

• Change your daily body and hand moisturizer to an ointment or crème, says Casey Gallagher, MD of the Boulder Valley Center for Dermatology. “You want to use something that you can squeeze from a tube or scoop out of a jar,” Dr. Gallagher explains. For your face, an ointment or crème might be too heavy during the day so a regular lotion will be Ok but just make sure it has sun protection. At night, be sure to use something thick and heavy—even a simple slather of Vaseline or Aquafor will do the trick.

• Cut down on hot showers and baths. According to WebMD, the “intense heat of a hot shower or bath actually breaks down the lipid barriers in the skin, which can lead to a loss of moisture.” They recommend taking a lukewarm bath oatmeal or baking soda. I’m going to admit right now that although I trust this advice is true, it’s not something that I could do. I love my hot showers and am willing to suffer the consequences rather than give them up. Fortunately, Dr. Gallagher says if you simply make them shorter, then you should be fine. He adds that you should use a non-drying soap and be sure to slather on body crème or ointment within minutes after your shower or bath to lock in the moisture.

• Lip protection is essential in the winter. Nothing is more uncomfortable or less kissable than dry chapped lips. Access Hollywood offers these tips to save your lips:

1. Use a wet (wrung out) washcloth to vigorously “buff” the lip area. This provides just the right amount of exfoliation and removes dead dry skin, leaving behind a smooth surface.
2. Rub everything you use on your face all over your lips – and be generous. This means moisturizers, Retin-A, AHA’s, etc.
3. Finish with a sealant. Use something that is thick and emollient. This idea is to leave behind a barrier that sits on your lips throughout the night and prevents moisture from escaping. Some great examples are plain old Vaseline or Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour cream.
4. In the morning, make certain you again massage your facial products onto your lips and you won’t believe how silky, plump and smooth they will look. Say goodbye to those undesirable dry, chapped lips!

What are your winter skin care tips?

Photo credit: Getty Images

The Importance of Date Night

Joelle Klein — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:16:56 -0500

With two working parents, or just two parents, life can get pretty chaotic, stressful and busy. My husband and I try to kiss each other when he gets home every night, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Dinner, bathing the munchkin, and other general life things interfere. And then he’s often annoyed that the house is not as tidy as he’d like it and I’m annoyed that he’s annoyed that the house is not tidy since I work from home – I’m not just hanging out all day. And then there are little issues to discuss like if I remembered to pick up dog food and did he remember to bring Selby’s sippy cup home from daycare.

It seems impossible that a night out together, without the kid, could possibly be romantic. But…somehow it is. I’ll dress up and wear makeup – he’ll compliment me, which makes me feel a little giddy. We head out to dinner and hold hands. We talk about things, without getting interrupted; enjoy a glass of wine or two – or in our case, a Cosmo or two. I’ll make fun of him for drinking a pink drink. And all of sudden, it feels like we’re dating again. It’s quite startling what a night out alone together can do. In just a few hours, you’re reconnected and recharged as a couple.

My mother came to visit this weekend and insisted my husband and I go out of town for the night so she could spend time alone with her granddaughter. We booked a night at a B&B outside of Vail. I thought: do we really need to spend the night in the mountains during this mud season? We can’t ski or snow shoe. What are we going to do? We walked to dinner (the only restaurant open in town), lit candles in the room, slept late, hiked the next day and just had a wonderful time together.

I think it’s easy to forget how vital a date night (or weekend) is. It’s important not to go too long without one. I think many of us get so caught up in our daily routine that it’s hard to make the effort to break out of it – get a babysitter, make a dinner reservation or buy tickets to a movie, show or concert. Even the Obamas make time for date night!

And, if you’re on a budget, you can do a kid swap with your neighbor so you’re not paying a sitter, and there are so many restaurants offering special deals these days, it’s not that hard to have a nice-ish dinner. In the warm weather, a picnic is lovely.

Our photo editor picked the photo for today’s Blog post because she said it reminded her of how "blissful" she and her husband were on their date night, without their 7-month-old baby boy, last Saturday. “Greydon is a joyful and very pleasant baby, however every parent needs a break even from the most wonderful kid,” she says.

When was the last time you and your husband had a date night? Was it blissful? How do you make time for it?

Photo credit: Jonathon Ford/Getty Images

Could You Be a Bumpaholic?

Joelle Klein — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:23:58 -0500

I remember when I was pregnant and my husband and I were playing blackjack in Las Vegas. This guy next to us was smoking and, although I felt bad for asking someone to give up a vice in Las Vegas of all places, we played “the pregnancy card.” “Excuse me, my wife is pregnant. Would you mind not smoking?” my husband asked. Of course he stopped.

Playing the pregnancy card (getting a seat on the bus, moving to the head of the bathroom line, getting a table at a restaurant first, etc.) is one of the many rewards of being pregnant. That healthy glow, being pampered, having your husband do all the heavy lifting without asking – are all benefits of expecting as well. My favorite pregnancy perk is not having to worry about your weight and people still telling you you look great.

But, would all this special treatment encourage me to have more children – over and over again?

“Women’s Health” magazine has coined a new term to describe a woman who is “addicted” to being pregnant and having children –a Bumpaholic. “Some women may like being pregnant a little too much, often driven to rapidly reproduce out of insecurity, a craving for attention, or feelings of abandonment by their own parents.” The article suggests that many women have children to fill a void in their life or to avoid having to make a career or other big life decision.

Meagan Francis, author of the Happiest Mom Blog and mother of five, stands up for moms of large broods in Babble.com. “Why do we question the motives surrounding the decision to have children (or not) with so much more cynicism than we do other decisions? If someone volunteers for a nonprofit or has a large circle of friends, no armchair psychologist would bother to question whether she was trying to "fill a void" with meaningful activity or companionship. It would instead be accepted that creating relationships with other human beings is a normal, natural and human desire.”

In other words, why bash moms who want big families?

Do you think Michelle Duggar, Betty Hayes or Kate Gosselin are Bumpaholics?

Honestly, when I watch their shows I don’t think of their birthing as addictive behavior. I see them as women who love children who’ve left the size of their families up to fate. I doubt Michelle Duggar set out to have 19 children, but she’s embraced the challenge.

On the other hand, I do have friends whom I question their decision to have a second, third or fourth child. I look at their choice and wonder, sometimes, why are they having another? I suspect that it’s to avoid going to back to work or making a career decision or maybe to fill a void in their relationship with their spouse, or just so they can feel special again.

Do you think you might be a Bumpaholic? Do you have friends that could be Bumpaholics? Do you think the term is bogus or sexist?

How Not to Get Kicked off a Plane with Your Toddler

Joelle Klein — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:10:19 -0500

I don’t know a single person who actually looks forward to boarding a plane with a young child in tow. Since I frequently travel with my daughter, without my husband, to visit my family in New York, I particularly dread this activity. I remember the early days with her sleeping sweetly in my lap, while my bladder threatened to burst from holding it in for two hours. And then there’s the time when she said “hi” to the gentlemen next to me -- continuously for 20 minutes. Luckily, he had small children of his own and said it didn’t bother him. I had to believe him since he didn’t try to change seats, but how could it not?

When I actually do travel with my husband and daughter it’s like a vacation (and it usually is) because I can actually read a book – sometimes for a whole 10 minutes at a time! Every year it gets easier – and harder in a different way too.

You might have read about the 2-year-old boy and his mother being kicked off a Soutwest Airlines flight. From what I read the boy was shouting, but not necessarily behaving inordinately bad. But the stewardess felt that if he continued to shout throughout the flight, it would be way too disruptive to the other passengers. In spite of the mother’s insistence that her boy would quiet down soon after take-off, they were escorted off the plane. That story pisses me off – and makes me nervous at the same time.

I read this hilarious account of a mother trying to avoid that situation in Lisa Belkin’s Motherlode Blog by making a hand puppet out of an airsick bag. The first puppet worked so well at quieting her out of control toddler that she grabbed the bag in her husband’s seat to create another one. She stuck her hand in it, only to find out that it had been used for the purpose it was intended for. “You think that having a child has prepared you for dealing with the bodily functions of humanity. Until you’re wearing a glove made of the puke of a stranger,” she writes.

There are easier ways to tame your toddler other than to shove your hand into a vomit-filled airsick bag. Here are a few:

1) I just read about this cool product on the Ain’t No Mom Jeans Blog called the CARE Harness. Instead of struggling with a giant car seat on the plane, this nifty little product weighs only 1 lb, is FAA approved, fits into a 6 inch stuff sack and is easy to install. Designed for children at least 1 year old and 22 lbs up to 44 lbs and 40 inches, you can check your car seat if you need it on the other end of the flight, and be free to just struggle with just your diaper bag and child.
2) Obviously, bringing games, books, snacks and other activities is a good place to start. We’ve found this great game that keeps Selby (and another willing participant) busy for quite some time. It’s called Zingo – like Bingo but easier. We bring it everywhere we go. The box says it’s for ages 4 and up, but at 2 Selby had already mastered, sort of. She cheats.
3) My daughter is not really into movies or TV yet (although she loves watching basketball), so this tip does not work for us. But for many children, a portable DVD player goes a long way. Or, many airlines offer TV that usually includes at least one cartoon or children’s channel for free or a small cost (for your sanity).

What are your tricks for getting your children to not drive you (or everyone around you) crazy on an airplane?