It’s surreal because I attended 4th and 5th grade at the same school, and I protested to keep the school open when the School Board considered closing it back in 2021. I spoke at the meetings, held signs, and we succeeded in keeping our little school open. It’s how my kids first learned about protests…Marzi was only 2 years old when I was doing that.

At the end of the school day when I picked her up, she gave me a thumbs down. However, over the course of the evening she talked about all the fun stuff she did, and this morning she assured her sister that Kindergarten is a LOT of fun. It’s a huge adjustment, going from 7 hours/week of preschool to a full day of school with a TON of other kids.

Everyone keeps asking if I cried – I didn’t, and it was probably a few factors. The first is that she went to preschool at the age of 3 and I had a few tears that day. Another is that she was getting more bored at home and eager to stay busy, but I don’t like signing them up for tons of camps in the summer. It was time to go to school. The final reason is that it’s really hard to run a business with small children and honestly it’s a relief to have them at school so that I can focus on my business and my children at separate times.

I was too much for many spaces, for too many years.
I find it so interesting that in the last 4.5 years since being fully self-employed, I have never once been too much.
I have never lost a client for voicing my opinions, sharing my knowledge, or calling out situations that concerned me.

I have become a resource, a gatherer of people, an encourager, and a rescuer of events in one of the most stressful careers in the world.
And I became a mother, during a pandemic.
I speak about these things because it would have been so helpful for me to see this example more.
To be encouraged for being me. For being confident, powerful, smart, eager to learn, wanting to change the world for the better. For being a woman who knew what she was doing, even when she was still learning.

I am so grateful for the people who saw my potential, my light, and guided me, supported me, hired me. Thank you.

I am also grateful for those who were roadblocks, because now I am armed with information about how to deal with people who cannot stand the light in others, who are terrified by competence and confidence.

Are you a guiding light, or are you a roadblock?

(Photo by Tuan B)

One of my biggest hurdles is childcare, of course. My girls aren’t in full-time school yet (Marzieh only goes 3 mornings per week), so I’m squeezing in 400 hours of work into naps, before and after Shea’s work schedule, and weekends/evenings.

By February every year I feel like I’m running on fumes, with the cold and the gray of Chicago pushing me down. I’ll try to power through. I’m still working on my consulting clients, and I currently have 9 couples that I’m working with for their weddings in 2023 (1 in 2024).

Before this, I only ever owned a condo, so there were limits on what I could do. Now my limits revolve more around two toddlers and my energy levels, but we have done a lot to our home in a short time, and it kind of feels like we’ve been here forever. Which is super strange. Who knew I was going to move back in to the neighborhood where I grew up? Down the street from my parents? (Which has been a huge blessing!) It is still surreal.

So much has changed since my last posts. I am finally working weddings again, as of July, albeit with masks and as much distancing as I can. I have about 1 wedding per month. I updated my business website and have steadily been booking for next year. Shea works from home most of the time and I am grateful for his presence.

The girls are growing so fast. Marzieh is 2.5 and talks like a kid much older. Her memory is incredible…and she loves stories about her day and past experiences she has had. “One day…” Marguerite manages to communicate a lot with very few words. Her current favorites are “bagel” and “earring”, but she is still really into lots of sound effects and pointing to ensure we understand what she wants. She wants to do everything her sister does, and is very mischievous.

We are facing down another winter indoors, which is exhausting to contemplate, but we’re just not comfortable going many places until the girls can get their vaccines, especially since Marguerite is too young to wear a mask. Trying to figure out ways to minimize the strain on my mental health!

Ingredients:

1/4 cup chicken or veggie broth
1 can unsweetened coconut milk
1 tablespoon Thai Red Curry Paste
1/4 cup peanut butter or peanut butter powder (I like the powder for cooking, as it dissolves smoothly)
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tablespoon lime or lemon juice, or more to taste

Add coconut milk and broth to a saucepan and heat. Add curry paste, peanut butter, fish sauce, and lime/lemon juice, and stir until all ingredients are mixed in smoothly. Cook for about 10 minutes on low heat and add salt to taste.

These chocolate chip banana muffins are a huge hit in our home. We always make the full batch because we work through them quickly. They stay really tasty for several days, which some GF muffins can’t do. Enjoy and let me know if you end up making them.

Ingredients:
6 mashed bananas
3 eggs
3/4 cup melted butter
2 3/4 cup flour (use regular flour or GF 1:1 blend of your choice)
3/4 cup sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup mini chocolate chips
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Note: This recipe makes 3 dozen muffins, so plan accordingly. You can freeze them to eat later, or you could look below for an ingredient list that only makes 1 dozen.

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Line muffin tin with baking cups. I’m very happy with my silicone baking cups – they’re reusable, dishwasher safe, and the muffins pop out easily.
3. In a large bowl: combine all ingredients and mix.
4. Add chocolate chips and walnuts last to the batter.
5. Spoon into muffin cups. I filled them almost all the way, as they don’t rise significantly.
6. Bake for 22 minutes, until cooked all the way through.

Ingredients for ONE DOZEN muffins:
1 egg
1 1/3 cup flour (use regular flour or GF 1:1 blend of your choice)
2 mashed bananas
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup melted butter
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup mini chocolate chips
1/3 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

This doesnâ€t include any kids books. Just mine. Only 10 were non-fiction (mostly memoirs). I needed light, fun books to keep me occupied during so much time at home, and while nursing a newborn in the middle of the night. I read nearly all of them on my Kindle app on my phone.

I read fast and donâ€t retain everything, but I have always read like this and utilize the library for e-books. I rarely buy books.

I have set a goal of 75 books for 2021, and hope to include more non-fiction and Bahaâ€i books this time. Looks like we will be stuck in the house for a while!

The trees are starting to be tipped with yellow and red around here, and the first leaves are falling. I haven’t had a front door to decorate since I lived at home in high school, so this year I got to decorate our new home and my parents home. I limited most of the decor to things I could find laying around (like logs, candles, baskets, etc), and under $50 of things like hay, pumpkins, and sorghum stalks. It was fun!

Now I am trying to think of Halloween costumes, mostly for the photos, because the girls are too young for anything else, and because there is still a pandemic happening and we canâ€t go door to door or have parties anyway.

I often take the girls on 1 or 2 daily walks, and it can take me a few minutes to get out the door (need to grab all the things!). Now with the weather turning cool, I will have to dress them with additional layers, which is like wrestling a little octopus while their sibling stands by the door yelling “Mama, outdoor!” But I will continue to walk because otherwise I will go crazy. Wish me luck!

Marguerite made it out of the NICU in 2 weeks post-birth, thank God, and while I was a little concerned about her (she was 5 weeks early), she has gained weight like a champ and nurses…a lot. I’m exhausted but happy with her reaching her 3 month birthday so healthy. She is smiling a lot and starting to make noises in response to us.

Marzieh at 16 months loves her little sister and gives her kisses and hugs at every opportunity. She doesn’t know her own strength so I have to watch them constantly. She says “shh shh” and brings burp cloths and pacifiers to baby sister. This week she started calling her “Mar”, instead of “shh shh”, so that is an improvement. She will put her hands up in a questioning pose if she can’t find something or someone, or if she hides a toy under a cloth as a game. She also plays hide and seek with us.

We bought a house last week (4 blocks from my parents, out in the suburbs of Chicago), and over the course of 4 days Shea did demo work on the first floor so we can have our contractor come in and build everything up from scratch. I am the project manager of this remodel, and it’s nice to be doing something that engages my brain.

The only reason I could sit down to write this post is that both of my children have been sleeping for 2 hours (by some miracle). I find it challenging to type on the phone in a way that is satisfying for writing my thoughts. Talk to text just ends up frustrating me. Most of the times that I’m sitting, I’m nursing, so it doesn’t lend itself well to writing blog posts.