Happy 18th Birthday!

Dear Nikki,

As you turn 18, you make me feel both old and grateful I am not your age. I’m turning 30 this year, and having watched you grow up, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would say to my 18-year-old self. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and the changes that are approaching you in your life. I know we’re not the closest, and I am probably your “weird cousin” — I’m many people’s “weird ___” in our family — but here’s my unsolicited birthday advice for you as you head off on your next journey.

Go to college.

Seriously, just do it.

Do what you love.

When in college, don’t pick a major because that’s what will get you a job. Or that’s what your parents want you to do. Or that’s what your teachers think you’re good at. Or that’s what the cute boy’s majoring in. Instead, do what you love. Find something where your homework’s not work, that you can lose yourself in for hours, that you want to learn about outside the classroom, that you can “geek out” about anytime you’re prompted. Only you can find that.

You won’t know what you’re going to major in or what you’re going to do when you grow up.

And you’re not alone. When I was a college n00b, I thought I was the only one without a major, and then as a senior, I tutored a bunch of freshies. Not a single one really knew what they were going to major in. That’s okay. It’s also okay to not have a 5-year plan or know what you want to do when you grow up. It took me at least 2-3 years into my career before I found what I loved. Heck, my current career, as a community manager, didn’t even exist my first year of college, and the greater industry that I’m part of, just got started then.

Prepare to fight to do what you love.

Most all of my friends did what they loved in college, but not all of them ended up doing what they loved when they hit the workforce. That’s okay. But if you want to do what you love, get prepared to fight tooth-and-nail and fail once you leave college. If your passion is competitive, undervalued, or underpaid by society, it’s going to be hard to get by. My own degree in creative writing with a minor in studio art is all three of those things. If your passion is in high demand and well-paid, you’re probably in a male-dominated field, and you’ll have to fight to never let anyone take away your passion or tell you that you can’t do it. You’re going to have to do amazing things to get noticed. I recommend the combination of being yourself, helping others, and doing fucking awesome things.

Take a leap.

When I graduated with the aforementioned creative writing degree, I had $500 in my bank account and no job. I knew I would, thankfully, never be homeless as our family wouldn’t let that happen. That said, I had one shot to make it in Seattle before having to head back to the homestead. I spent three months post-graduation searching for a job, living on a bit of money collected through odd jobs and the grace and goodwill of my roomie and her parents (who cosigned our apartment lease). After knocking on many doors, I went out and spent my last $100 on makeup for interviews — I didn’t even own foundation — and the next week, I got two jobs offers. This probably says our world’s a little sexist that no one would hire me sans makeup. Or it says that you’ll sell yourself the best when you really need to. Which meant my first boss thought I’d learn to Photoshop in art class, not drawing fanart.

Harness your anger.

I’m probably the first one to ever say this to you: it’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be pissed off. It’s okay to want to punch people in their stupid faces. I want to do that stuff all the time. But I don’t actually do it. So Grandma — who I’m totally telling on right here — always says that she just doesn’t understand how angry you can be and how it reminds her of me when I was your age. (Spoiler alert: I’m still a pretty angry person; I just use it differently.) We love Grandma a lot, but she doesn’t get it because it’s not in her personality to be this way. And it doesn’t help that as women (and you probably get the added intersectionality of race) that we’re told not to be angry. Girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, right?

Be angry. There’s a ton of fucked up shit going on in this world that’s worth being angry about. (And it’s probably not the person who doesn’t under why you don’t stand on the swivel space in the bus and then basically has you support their weight all the way from Seattle to Everett. (That was a note to myself from today, by the way.)) Don’t tame your anger or simmer it down. Instead, push it in a useful direction. Take up activism, take up a creative hobby to push it out of, take up exercise, take up making the change you want to see in the world. Put it all in your passion to fuel the fire.

Be the change.

You want to change something in the world? Do something about the stuff you’re so angry about? Then do it. Whether you want to work through your personal problems — we all have them! — or you want to take on a small or huge problem in the world, do it. When I first started volunteering for this thing called GeekGirlCon, I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know that it would grow into a popular convention and change the dialog around women geeks. I didn’t know how it would change geekdom. But I knew it was a change I wanted to see. GeekGirlCon’s mission probably isn’t going to be complete in my lifetime (sexism sucks), but I’ve already seen what incredible things can happen when you try to change the world. Especially if you work with others.

Love yourself and be yourself.

If you can’t look into the mirror, there’s something deeper wrong. If you’re one way with your family, another with your friends, and yet another with professors or bosses, then you’re broken. First and foremost, love yourself. Think you’re too much one way and not enough the other way? Motivate yourself to make the change. But be realistic and give yourself a break sometimes as you’re only human. Learning to love yourself is one of the greatest things you can do. You’re never going to be happy without self-love.

Be empathic.

Try to always understand where someone’s coming from and be open to changing your point-of-view because of it. This doesn’t mean you have to like everyone or trust everyone. It just means that you need to have the capacity to think outside yourself. Which I know is super hard when you’re younger and all crazy-brained due to the actual chemistry of growing up. Say like how the girl on the bus was young and it might’ve been her first time on the bus. She might’ve been so focused on getting on the right bus, off at the right stop, and not falling over that she had no more capacity to focus on how her leg rubbed against my leg in a way too intimate manner for a stranger. Even though I wanted to yell at her, it was the right decision not to. Being empathic will save you from being a dick. Even if you still decide not to like that person.

Try everything you can.

Everything that you can reasonably, safely do. Try new foods. Travel new places. Travel, travel, travel, if you can. Meet new people. Try things you’ve never done. Do things that you scare you a bit. Go to South Africa and dive with great white sharks in Gansbaai; it’s amazing, even if you lie in the bed the night before seeing Jaws in your head.

Also date, date, date. Okay, you probably guessed that I might put dating advice in here somewhere. I’ve date a LOT of people, and I’ve had a lot of different types of relationships. The one thing I think our culture really fails at is being okay with causal dating. If you go out on one date with someone, you aren’t in a relationship with them unless you both agree verbally that you are. There’s no unsaid serious dating rules. Nor do you ever “owe” a date sex, or even kissing, just because you went out on a date; that’s called assault.

I learned so much about myself and what I like by trying out dating different people. I’ve dated people seriously, people casually, people the same age as me, people younger than me, people older than me, skinny people, fat people, tall people, short people, people who worked white collar jobs, people who worked blue collar jobs, people who made me laugh, people who loved argue, people who loved cats, people who were great kissers, people who were boring in bed, people who were poor, people with more money than they knew what to do with, people who are liberals, people who are conservatives, people who like driving around for hours just to look at Christmas lights, people who want you to call them Captain Kirk in bed, people who ended up in jail, people who have chemistry-related equations named after them, people who wanted to stay up all night listening to Pink Floyd, people who have more books than I do, people who’ve later become my friends for life, people who I never want to see again. Don’t settle down too fast and don’t fail to recognize when it’s lust bunnies, not actual romantic love. Just go out, have fun, and use protection.

Call Grandma and Grandpa.

No, seriously, they’ll probably think you’re dead if you don’t. And they love you.

You probably noticed that I didn’t write any bullshit about “being happy.” You can’t be happy if you don’t love yourself and do what you love. “Finding happiness” is bullshit. You can’t seek it out. No one will make you happy except yourself. You have to do the other stuff — the hard work — in order to find what will ultimately make you happy. When people are unhappy, it’s because of something, and happiness is the same way. You don’t just magically find the happiness emotion one day and stick with it. You do the other stuff and happiness happens as a result.

Anyway, I hope that you have a wonderful 18th birthday. Life’s going to change more than you even realize, and with some awesomeness by you, it’ll be a thrilling adventure. I hope that my unsolicited advice is at least worth my blogging time.

Love you.

Your weird cousin Erica

I decided to add “equality” given that I do read a lot of articles with intersectionality that cover stopping a lot of -isms, and they are all equally important. As always, these are links that I found interesting and you might too.

Me

Books Nominated for 2013 Hugo Awards!
Woohoo! Chicks Unravel Time & Chicks Dig Comics were nominated for The Hugo Awards. Big congratulations to the editors, all the other writers, and everyone else involved in the production and love of these books.

Cute Animals

Black and White Friendship Story of a 4-Year-old Girl and Her Cat
Yep, pretty sure I was exactly like this with my cat as a child.

Entrepreneurship

The Skills Most Entrepreneurs Lack
Very interesting.

Equality

Donglegate: Why the Tech Community Hates Feminists
One of the best articles I’ve read about the larger messages and lessons from Donglegate.

How to talk about a woman’s looks
Yep, even President Obama messed this one up.

To my daughter (should I have one)
A lovely thought from my friend Susie.

Rape Culture is Alive and Well in America Because of These 6 Things
And so much more.

My So-Called ‘Post-Feminist’ Life in Arts and Letters
“This is what sexism does best: it makes you feel crazy for desiring parity and hopeless about ever achieving it.”

What Peggy Olson From ‘Mad Men’ Teaches Us That Sheryl Sandberg Doesn’t
Yep.

Seattle ranks 2nd for women entrepreneurs but has the worst wage gap in US
This is the worst. I love my city, but we need to fix this bullshit.

The 10 Most Racist Moments from a Song About Ending Racism
Yep, this happened. What?!

Being Gay at Jerry Falwell’s University
Interesting.

On Feminist Fantasy, LL Bean Boyfriends and Girlfriends
Love this as a show that content can be inclusive of all genders and sexual preferences.

Resources for Talking with Boys about Gender Violence
A great set of resources to help start a dialog and teach people about rape culture. While target toward teaching boys not to rape, these are great for anyone who doesn’t know exactly what rape culture is, why it’s so horrible, and how to work to prevent it.

Janelle Monae is the queen of cool. Love her.

Fandom

Firefly Hat Triggers Corporate Crackdown
Wow. Just wow.

Janelle Monáe is the Dapper Queen
Love her so much.

Gwendoline Christie On Gender Roles & Fighting Game of Thrones
Radness.

Health

A Reinvented Condom You Actually Want To Wear, Coming Soon From The Gates Foundation
Crazy rad.

Inbound Marketing

Is Google+ Approaching Twitter’s Marketing Value?
Taking a look at the future of social networking and comparing G+ and Twitter in how to get the largest reach for content.

Using Instagram to Promote Your Brand and Increase Site Traffic Webinar
Lots of fun for those looking to use Instagram for their brand.

Current & Past Contributor To Links in Google+ Profiles
Look at what Google’s doing with authorship, especially for sites with multiple authors.

Facebook emoji: Status-update emoticons are bad for privacy, good for advertisers.
Wow. This is brilliantly evil as a way to get their users to work for free.

Foursquare’s New Game: Predicting Your Future
I’m interested to see how well or badly this works.

The Relationship Between SEO and Inbound Marketing
Ruth writes about how things are changing for SEOs and how we must work together with greater inbound and web marketing goals.

Here is why I love SEOmoz!
Awww. This warms my heart to hear as a community manager.

How I Wish Amazon Reviews Worked
Oh, if only we could actually find relevant reviews.

A Data-Centric Approach to Identifying 404 Pages Worth Saving
If you have a lot of 404s, maybe you only need to redirect or rebuild the important ones.

CIA Presentation On Big Data
Get ready to be scared. This is why arguments about militas needing guns just in case we need to overthrow the government is stupid. The founding fathers couldn’t even imagine this.

10 Ways Brands Use Instagram for Business
Great examples of brands using Instagram really well.

Partner Categories, a New Self-Serve Targeting Feature
And Facebook advertising just got more intense. This is big data stalking you and me.

Inspirational

How to pursue a creative life without a lot of time or energy
Amazing story about how to really be creative.

Politics

Margaret Thatcher and misapplied death etiquette
Yes, this. Political figures are never saints, and Thatcher certainly wasn’t.

Science

The Science of Cats
Cats are just awesome. End of story.

Technology

How to Lighten the Crush of E-Mail
OMG, you can push a pause button? Getting that app now!

Writing

The secret structure of great talks
A great presentation about the structure of great presentations.

Ironically, both are nominated for the same award, in the Best Related Work category. Both are rad books and products of the love and hard work of everyone involved. I don’t think I’ll be making it out for the awards in person, but will be celebrating all the fun with everyone else online as they’ll be streaming it.

Buy Chicks Dig Comics and buy Chicks Unravel Time, and then you too can party along.

Whoo! Both books nominated for Hugo Awards.

Black and white classes up the Great Wall Mall. Photo by Camknows.

I was ready to spork my lady parts.

The web team consisted of lots of men. Men who carried wallets, not purses, and didn’t care or wanted to pretend to live in a world without periods. I didn’t know anyone in the other departments, which had women in them. I only new the web team and developers. Surrounded on all sides by a sausage fest.

I turned to my skill set, and I googled for the nearest Safeway. Even though I didn’t know the area, it was close enough. Only really two turns. I didn’t know where the printer was. I still don’t know if I would’ve had access to it anyway.

So I made a mental note — I’m not sure I even had notepaper — and took off in my ’83 Volvo that liked to stall out at stop lights.

This was the first time I’d left the office since I started. I didn’t know Kent. I knew how to get the freeway and drive to my apartment in Tacoma. I hadn’t left the office because I didn’t have a dime to my name. I was worried that I’d have to ask my roommate for gas money as I’d hit that magical place in the pay cycle: where it takes extra long to get your first paycheck.

I turned down the road the map had told me. But it just kept going — train tracks and movie theaters and big industrial buildings that housed more companies. Kent is a flood plain and used to be farmland. It’s the place that whomever built on it said, “Fuck it, someday a lahar will cleanse the earth of our shitty buildings and poor people. Then we can grow crops and raise cows again.”

I definitely missed Safeway. And I still had cramps.

So I turned around and drove on. I drove passed the road back to my office, which had changed numbers or names. I had no gps, no smart phone. But I did have one boss’ business card.

Figures he’d have a business card. The boss that I found myself months later sitting in “suicide corner” with. The place that when I moved my desk, veteran coworkers told me that they were sorry and would miss me. Everyone who went to suicide corner was fired. That boss was fired for looking at porn on his computer. He considered me either too prude or too young to share it with; gee, I was lucky. I hold the record as the lone survivor of “suicide corner.”

Which does mean that I eventually made it back to the office. But not with his help. When I called, my call conveyed that he knew the area as well as I did and that I was lost. He didn’t offer to put someone else on the phone — like my other boss who knew the area and was a decent human being. Instead, it was just going to be time off my timecard.

And gas. Which the Volvo required me to fill up every four days on my commute. I did not have time for this bullshit. I was sweating: which happens when I’m frustrated and driving without the additional heat from the car and the summer.

Then I saw it. Like a great beacon of hope. Here in the wasteland of south King County was the Great Wall of China. What the ever-loving fuck?

I pulled in the parking lot as there was clearly a grocery store inside. Bedraggled, sweating, and in pain, I marched through the parking lot, passed moms and their minivans, and into the Great Wall Mall. Thank god, it had a/c.

Passed the shops selling healing crystals, good luck cats, and bubble tea was the shop I was looking for. The store with the drugs. The store that would, on many other occasions, assist me as I learned to cook and needed “Asian” ingredients. But today, it was the holy mecca of drugs to kill cramping, and I had a credit card to charge it to.

As I sat in my car, tearing open my purchase like a mad woman and washing it down with water from my Nalgene bottle, I could’ve cried I was so thankful. Thankful that someone had decide to put a mall here, and then make it look like the Great Wall so hapless fools like me couldn’t miss it. Couldn’t stop from pulling over and going inside.

I didn’t know where I was. The verdict that my new job was fucked up was already delivered. I probably smelled. But my cramps were going away. I closed my car door and drove away. Resolved to find the freeway back to the office. Resolved that if someone was going to build a mall that looked like the Great Wall in the middle of Kent, I too could make it through the day and through this job onto something better.

Things that I found that were interesting around the web. Your mileage may vary.

Me

Jacob and I in NYC at the castle in Central Park.

4 Lesser-Known Conferences That Deserve Your Attention in 2013
Heck, yes, MozCon got a shout-out! Plus, quote by me.

Introducing Moz Reader!
I love working for such an amazing company like SEOmoz. I’ve been so bummed about Google Reader shutting down, but guess what, we stepped up and created the Moz Reader! I’m really thrilled. (If you’re wondering where I was, I was in NYC instead of in the video.)

Cute Animals

Adventure Kitten Gear
Okay, REI wins with the adorable as they have all your adventure kitten gear.

Baby hedgehogs
OMG baby hedgehogs have giant ears!

Entrepreneurship

On Not Mourning Your Failures & Overcoming Burn-Out with Brad Feld
On how to think more about your life for the long-term as an entrepreneur.

Fandom

Anything That Loves: Comics Beyond “Gay” and “Straight”
Definitely an awesome Kickstarter for a comic anthology about romantic love that goes beyond “straight” or “gay.”

Renee Montoya to Return to DC Comics?
Will they just bring Renee back already? She completely deserves the Question mantel.

Women In Comics: Simonson, Nocenti Talk Marvel & Gender Roles in Comics
A great interview with Simonson and Nocenti about their early days in comics and today and reflections on gender and writing female characters.

Seattle’s Museum of Flight opens exhibit of Wonder Woman’s Invisible Plane
LOL. Awesome.

The Beginnings of #CONsent
A great project to stop sexual harassment of cosplayers.

For The Boy In Heart-Shaped Glasses (Husbands)
I love this so much. Jane and Brad are the best.

The Hawkeye Initiative: Cosplay is political
An interview with Blatsuura, the cosplayer who live acted the Hawkeye Initiative at Emerald City Comicon.

GeekGirlCon is Looking for Vendors and Exhibitors!
For GeekGirlCon ’13.

David Bowie – The Stars (Are Out Tonight) Video
Love the meta in this video with David Bowie and Tilda Swinton.

Feminism

Sheryl Sandberg is the ultimate good girl careful not to upset those in power
Sandberg’s “Lean In” may be too much of a riches to riches as you play by the rules story.

Things You Think Aren’t Sexist, But Really Are
Ruth tells it like it is.

Forking and Dongle Jokes Don’t Belong At Tech Conferences
Because we need to be inclusive and live inclusion. “Live a good life, then make room for others.”

Losing my religion for equality by Jimmy Carter
An amazing call from former President Jimmy Carter to end discrimination against women based on religion, including the personal steps he’s taken in to follow this mission.

Jon Hamm Is Being Treated Like an Actress, and He Hates It
I found this article so fascinating. And a great example how we need everyone stopping this kind of objectification, not just people who subjected to it or assume it’s a “woman’s” problem, it’s a people problem.

Femen Stages a ‘Topless Jihad’
And the rest of the world continues while we worry about Facebook Home.

Inbound Marketing

Is There Life Beyond Rankings?
Dr. Pete teaches us what’s most important in for our marketing analytics.

How I use Followerwonk, and Why I Love It
Dig into your Twitter followers.

How Search Works – The Story – Google
So very interesting. Good facts about spam fighting.

Micro Data & Schema.org: Guide To Generating Rich Snippets
Great resource for Schema.org implementation.

How To Track Image Search In Google Analytics
This is pretty awesome to track your images when they show up in universal image results.

#teachtheweb
This is such a cool idea to get crowd-sourced info and sharing of information for web development. We need something like this in web marketing too.

How to Live Tweet Like a Pro
A great guide from Ruth, who’s a conference tweeting pro.

Attract Customers to Your Community with Content
Yes, this is how you create content with your community in mind. Get them engaged by doing something interesting.

Why You Should Map Out Your Site’s Information Architecture
Stephanie gives great tips on the hows and whys of making your site’s information architecture. I’ve found there are numerous headaches that doing this can save you from.

Effective Use of Social Media as a Customer Service Channel
Love this so much. Social media should work with customer service.

The Ultimate Guide to the MozBar SEO Extension for Chrome & Firefox
A great dive into the MozBar, an essential tool for any SEO.

“Like”-able Content: Spread Your Message with Third-Party Metadata
How meta data for social networks helps you spread your content better.

How to Build Authority Within Your Industry
A great guide for getting your name out there in your industry and niche.

11 Tips I Gave to Marketers this Morning
#5 cracks me up. But you know, very solid advice.

How to Get Your Guest Post Published
Love these simple, but true, guidelines for getting your guest blog published.

Why I’m quitting SEO
Interesting discussion on how SEO is perceived and how people are changing mindsets, especially when it comes to spammy tactics and not wanting to look like black hatters.

So You Want to Be a Paid Speaker? Six Unforgettable Tips
Such great tips, and plenty of things that I need to employe myself.

The UX of Community in Contested Space
Loved this piece about sexism in the world and how community codes of conduct are needed.

Inspiration

Is That So Hard?
Love what this says about teaching, being humble, and how different people are brilliant at different things.

Are You Really Cut Out For Change Work?
Yes, this a zillion times over. Change work is hard. To be innovative and to do something no one else is doing, but should, is incredibly challenging.

What To Expect After You Become a Seasoned Traveler
A wonderful travel blog about how we’re perceived by others and ourselves.

How People Sit in Meetings and What it Really Means
This is too funny.

Becoming your story
Love this as how one perceives yourself in the world (or versus the world) is so powerful.

Rethinking Unpopular: Erika Napoletano at TEDxBoulder 2012
Love this talk about how unpopularity might be the way to go.

LGBT Issues

Ask An Anthropologist about Marriage
Love this as I’m not a huge fan of marriage as a concept and idea; however, there’s no basis whatsoever to deny consenting adults who want to get married based upon their genders.

The Strategy Behind the Viral Red Marriage Equality Campaign
This is super interesting.

You Can Support Equality Without Being Into Marriage
I felt like I needed to write a post like this, and then I read Nico’s and realized that someone already had. Go read this.

Science

Why “Asshole” Is High Praise—and Other Anatomy Lessons With Mary Roach
Interesting.

Seattle

ÜbrLocal, uberWallingford
Super cool local sourcing idea. I love it.

Writing

In wake of Newtown missteps, journalists get guidelines
The AP is finally going to have guidelines around how journalists can talk about mental illnesses.

25 Ways To Be A Happy Writer (Or, At Least, Happier)
Yes to all of this. Now to motivate myself to get writing!

So it’s been a while — too long — since I’ve made one of these posts, which means, I’m going to just do a link dump without my usual explanations so I can hurry things along and get to the new stuff. As always, what I like, you may not like.

Me
by me

• Harness the Power of Twitter Using Followerwonk
• 10 Great Comic Books for Kids Under 12
• 8 Copy Editing Tricks to Make You Look Professional – Whiteboard Friday
• Creativity, Serendipity, and Championing B2B: An Interview with Adriel Sanchez

quoted / photoed me

• Female Online Marketing Speaker Stats: 13 True Evangelists Discuss The Data
• How To Pitch & Win Conference Speaking Gigs: An Insider’s Guide
• Emerald City ComiCon 2013: Costume Roundup
• 17 Geek Conventions You Must Attend Before You Die

Cute Animals

• Tiny horses?
• 50 Amazing Photos From Cat Heaven Island In Japan
• Cute Kittens Fly in Slow Motion
• 7 Things I Can’t Do These Days Because I Have Cats

Entrepreneurship

• IPOs, Acquisitions, and The Long Term for Moz
• Lessons Learned: Scaling to 100 Moz Employees – Whiteboard Friday
• Highways, Backroads, and the Occasional Tire-squealing U-Turn: Mack’s Journey as an Entrepreneur
• What’s The Most Difficult CEO Skill? Managing Your Own Psychology
• Tara Hunt shares story of tough entrepreneurial lessons (Video)
• Mackenzie Fogelson on being an entrepreneur

Fandom

• Are You Ready to Be Strong? Power and Sisterhood in ‘Buffy’
• George Takei, the Best Driver in the Galaxy
• VIDEO: See how the Ponds’ story really ended in unfilmed Who scene
• The Perfect Gift for the Nerdy Woman on Your Christmas List
• Geeks and privilege
• Cheers: “The Best TV Show That’s Ever Been”
• #1Reason
• Convention Season Is Coming: Here’s How to Talk to Women Cosplayers
• Kenyan Women Create Their Own ‘Geek Culture’
• The Greatest Conversations To Ever Happen On Twitter Between Real Astronauts And The Cast of Star Trek
• A Fan’s Notes On “Gilmore Girls”
• Furious Five With Jeff Parker: The Emerald City Comicon Edition [Interview]

Feminism

• Reddit Users Attempt to Shame Sikh Woman, Get Righteously Schooled
• Viewpoint: More women needed in technology
• More women in engineering: Something that ACTUALLY WORKED.
• Bodyform Responds :: The Truth
• Beating the Odds — How We got 25% Women Speakers for JSConf EU 2012
• What happens to women denied abortions? This is the first scientific study to find out.
• In Sweden, Playtime Goes Gender-Neutral For Holidays
• Significant Other – Gender Signifiers in Video Games
• TEDxWomen Talk about Online Harassment & Cyber Mobs
• How Advertisers Failed Women in 2012
• Memories of My Misogynist Trolls
• How To Exclude Women Without Really Trying
• Baltimore Feminists Prank Victoria’s Secret — And Spark an Internet Revolution
• Matt Lauer is gross, Anne Hathaway kicks slut shaming’s ass
• California court: Victim wasn’t married, rape conviction reversed
• Hey ForbesWoman – WTF Exactly is a “Man’s Job”
• The Woman’s Guide to Having it All
• How to deal with a mansplainer starring Hillary Clinton in gifs
• On false dichotomies and diversity.
• not a beard
• Detroit Prosecutor Kym Worthy Discusses 11,000 Untested Rape Kits With Brian Williams
• Dear male allies: your sexism looks a bit like my racism
• Raising Shakespeare’s Sister (Or Why We Need to Talk about Female Speakers in Search)
• What Got Us Into Feminism
• Sir Patrick Stewart calls on ’1 million men’ to end to violence against women
• Reckoning With ‘Thelma & Louise’
• I Am Not a Political Football
• I am so fucking sick of teaching our daughters not to get raped
• I Am The Blogger Who Allegedly “Complicated” The Steubenville Gang Rape Case — And I Wouldn’t Change a Thing

Hockey

• Hockey’s Wealth Redistribution Problem: What’s Really Behind The NHL Lockout

Inspiration

• David’s story: First, be a strong individual
• The Writing Revolution
• Bullied Michigan teen shines as homecoming princess
• The Evolution of My Public Presentations
• The Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
• We Can Do Better Than This
• What Poetry Teaches Us About the Power of Persuasion
• The League of Ordinary Ladies: The Fishwife With the Sleeve Tattoo
• The Long, Painful Journey to Better Self-Awareness
• Give a crap. Don’t give a fuck.
• The Ghost Writes Back

LGBTQ

• Listen to the Boss
• How gay equality became the new normal of US politics in 2012
• The New Gay Marriage Map
• Joe Biden: Transgender Discrimination Is ‘The Civil Rights Issue Of Our Time’
• It’s Champagne, candy and flowers as same-sex couples line up for marriage licenses in Seattle
• Lana Wachowski Reveals Suicide Plan, Painful Past in Emotional Speech
• You’re Just Like a Million Others, Snowflake

Online Marketing

• 33 Links & How To Get Them
• 6 Copywriting Mistakes That Shatter Conversion Rates
• Why Big Content Is Worth the Risk
• Google’s User Profile Personalization and Google Plus
• Dear CMO. Your Marketing Plan is Broken
• 10 Simple Tips To Make Your Excel Charts Sexier
• Dark Social: We Have the Whole History of the Web Wrong
• What Is Tag Management?
• How to Prepare for AuthorRank and Get the Jump on Google
• How the Huffington Post handles 70+ million comments a year
• Google’s Disavow Tool – Take a Deep Breath
• Turning SEO Link Building into SEO Audience Targeting with Twitter profiling
• Foursquare’s new ratings feature should terrify Yelp
• Weaponized Humor
• Can’t Buy Me Love
• Rules for Guest Posting: Guidelines & Best Practices
• Is Facebook “broken on purpose” to sell promoted posts?
• How McDonald’s Handles Thousands of Social Mentions Per Day
• How Your Content Marketing Can Ignite a Movement
• How I Tweet in a Nutshell (55 behaviors from a twitter nut!)
• How to write universe-conquering proposals
• Now You Can Add Interactive Images to Your Tweets
• The Importance of Marketing Analytics
• Twitter Will Win The Social Brand Advertising War
• Twitter has started rolling out the option to download all your tweets
• Hey Siri: Why Am I Losing 9% Of My iOS 6 SEO Traffic?
• Six Things User Experience Designers Forget When They Criticize Websites
• Yes, Randi Zuckerberg, Please Lecture Us About `Human Decency’
• 47 Clients, 217 Moz Questions. Pain, Progress. A Candid Reflection On 2012
• Turn that upside down
• How REI Put A Bow On Social Marketing And Wowed Customers
• Love: The Apptentive Framework to Improving the Customer Experience
• Technical Hacks for Content Marketing
• SEOmoz Launches Fresh Web Explorer: Brand Management Game Changer
• 8 Businesses That Nail Social Media Brand Consistency
• Facebook ‘likes’ can reveal your secrets, study finds
• Breaking down Amazon’s mega dropdown

Politics

• Neil deGrasse Tyson Wrote the Only Thing You Need to Read About Mitt Romney’s Vow to Cut Funding for PBS
• I was Ayn Rand’s Lover
• The Social Candidacy
• Inside the Secret World of the Data Crunchers Who Helped Obama Win

Recipes (I want to try.)

• Lime Cake
• Pumpkin cinnamon rolls
• Saffron-Vanilla Snickerdoodles
• Fennel Mushrooms
• Baked Spaghetti with Ricotta
• Spaghetti with broccoli cream pesto
• Eggless Chocolate Cupcakes
• Black Tea Cake with Honey Buttercream

Seattle

• Best Places to Work

Technology

• An Easy Alternative to Postcards: Race it Home
• Notorious Reddit Troll Is Definitely a 50-Something Software Engineer in Arlington
• This sonic-powered vibrator is faster and quieter than traditional sex toys

Us toasting the success of GeekGirlCon ’12

Last Monday was my final day as Director of Marketing for GeekGirlCon. I know this is probably a bit shocking, especially for those of you who know my passion for the organization and feminist activism.

Since August 2010, when GeekGirlCon had its first fateful meeting, I’ve poured my time, energy, and know how into helping make GeekGirlCon the amazing organization it is today and helping build the foundation for the greater future. I made many conscious decisions to put different parts of my life on hold or, in some cases, neglect them. I served most of my time with GeekGirlCon as both President and Director of Marketing, juggling the two roles, and then since November, only as Director of Marketing.

(If you haven’t met GeekGirlCon’s new Executive Director Amanda, you should, as she’s awesome and helping take GeekGirlCon to its next step.)

For anyone who’s gone the entrepreneurship route, whether starting a business on your own, as a group, or just helping out, it’s a ton of work. And GeekGirlCon was no different — just as needy and rewarding. Though GeekGirlCon solely is a labor of love as all positions on staff are 100% volunteer roles.

As our first convention in October 2011 rolled around, I had to convince my mother to come help out. She didn’t really understand what we were doing. All she knew was that I hadn’t come to see her in a long time, rarely had time to talk on the phone, and when we did connect, I kept talking about this GeekGirlCon thing obsessively. But when the doors opened on October 8th — where she helped at the registration desk — she “got it” as she told me later. My mom understood what we trying to do, how big it was, and most importantly, for our relationship, why I hadn’t come to visit. She even came back for GeekGirlCon ’12 with my stepfather in tow.

Of course, visiting my mom wasn’t the only thing I’ve purposefully put off. In the past two and a half years, I’ve had a lot of changes in my life, great and bad, and racked up a huge amount of personal debt (of the non-monetary, taking time for myself kind of debt). I’ve changed jobs, broke off a 5-year relationship, fallen in love with someone new, put personal projects on hold, and neglected my mild, yet chronic, health issues. I’ve been asked at my job to step up my contributions to the team and company, and most weeks found myself feeling guilty for never having time for my GeekGirlCon work and letting down my marketing team and the larger organization.

While I stepped down, GeekGirlCon’s mission of bringing women and allies together to celebrate our geekiness is still something I strongly believe in and will continue to support as a non-staff member. Expect to see me at events or in other places. I trust each and every one of GeekGirlCon’s current and future staff to do brilliant work to carry forth GeekGirlCon’s mission. And I cannot wait to see the great works that GeekGirlCon will be doing in the future.

I’m incredibly thankful for GeekGirlCon and proud of what GeekGirlCon’s doing to change the dialog and create safe spaces for women geeks and our allies. I’ve learned a ton along the way, and I’ve seen the wonderful things that we can accomplish together. I also got to accomplish many of my dreams, including running a business; making a meaningful, feminist impact on the world; and meeting a ton of amazing geeks who care about GeekGirlCon’s mission. Nothing makes me more happy than to hear a story about how GeekGirlCon has changed someone’s life or just made them really happy.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing next, in my new spare time, but I do know that I have no less than two vacations planned this year. Though I’m sure the future will be awesome for both me and GeekGirlCon.

As of December 1st, I am no longer GeekGirlCon’s president. There are long, complex reasons for this; some which involve things that make me frown and others that involve letting the baby bird fly on its own. I’m still involved in the organization as Director of Marketing. And I think the current reoganization and new leadership will bring a breath of fresh air.

You also may remember that in 2012 I broke off a 5-year relationship (and didn’t tell anyone for 6 months) and had a large redefinition of my job (which I love my new job duties).

That said, as I turned 29 this year, I realized that most of my life goals had been accomplished to one end or another. I’ve:

• Been published in a book (twice, Chicks Dig Comics and Chicks Unravel Time).
• Made a large, activist impact on the world to better it for women and other marginalized groups (GeekGirlCon).
• Helped get a business off the ground and successfully ran it (GeekGirlCon).
• Lived on my own in Seattle and am able to comfortably support myself.
• Work at SEOmoz.
• Love my paying job (SEOmoz).

Those are pretty big things. Maybe some of them I’ll do again, but they’ll probably have a different twist on them and take a different form. For instance, right now, I don’t want to run another businesses, and if anything, I’d want that “business” to be my writing.

I’ve also had those unexpected life changes. You know, the one that sneaks up on you when you’re having fun and looks like love. I started dating Jacob this Thanksgiving — which involves what I’m sure will someday be a hilarious (ironic) tale for me to recount about how I wanted to set him up with my friend Julia and how he broke every rule in my dating book, but that’s another story.

Our lives have rather quickly started converging together, and part of me is worried that we’re becoming one of those couples who doesn’t go anywhere without the other. (Yep, we even work together — see broken rule. But I still want to see you, friends!) In fact, Jacob accompanied me to the holidays to see my family, who already love and adore him. Not that that’s hard to do. And I’ve met his mother, sister, and brother-in-law.

I’ve been called in the past a killer of romance, but I like to think that I’ve just laid out my cards on the table and farted, just for good measure. Jacob and I have discussed life goals, what we wanted, and where we disagree. (He’s an introvert, so if I skip over some of his logic/emotions and reasons behind his life goals, it’s because of that.) We’re both highly invested in making our relationship work long-term, and I’d rather know things that make me pull my hair now, over when they might give me a heart attack later. Or say surprise him that I’m a pansexual polyamorous lady with a girlfriend in England.

My current life goals are somewhat vague and dismembered. I wasn’t able to give the straight up answers that Jacob was. They look a little like this:

• Write more.
• Publish a novel.
• Get healthy and do yoga regularly again.
• Travel and explore life.
• Get a puppy (read: trained, adult dog).
• Retire to a villa in Tuscany with said English girlfriend where I can be the writer-in-residence at her bookstore (and oh, I’d like Jacob to be there too).
• Learn to can. Cook and bake more.

Jacob’s life goals, on the other hand, look like this:

• Learn more about his job, including possibly getting a Master’s degree and learning more computer programming languages.
• Buy a house.
• Get married.
• Have children.
• Run his own business.

I’m told that relationships are full of compromises, and I don’t doubt that ours will be wrought with them. (If you’re wondering which life goal will have the most contention around it, it will be the one labeled “children” as I feel the exact opposite, like an unspoken life goal might be “don’t get pregnant ever or have children” for me. But I figure I’d rather know now what we’re going to fight about.)

When Jacob and I got together, I made a conscious decision to choose love. And as I look to revamp my life goals or move them to 3.0, I have no doubt that they will be largely shaped by that choice of love, about my relationship with Jacob. Don’t get me wrong, my career’s still center-front and a driving force in my life; but some of my goals, they may take the shape of my love for him. The type of love that I have often been too frightened to let guide anything in my life before.

Once Upon a Time 1×05 “That Still Small Voice”

Is it fairy tale land or is it a bad Ren Fair? For the first time, I don’t think that I’m as impressed with the fairy tale world.

Oh, Jiminy Cricket, you just want to be a good boy. No mixed messages from your parents about who you want to be or should be. Or if crickets are noisy or not.

Jiminy as a child. A small ginger child.

Yeah, that’s as sexy deputy sheriff’s outfit. Looks like something out of Reno 911. Well that was a symbol of Emma’s power. Or something happening, a crater or giant hole in the ground.

Shiny new badge for the new deputy sheriff.

Oooh, Sheriff hotty pants didn’t tell the Mayor he was hiring Emma.

Could it be more obvious that there’s something under there? The writers at least could’ve played it off as if Regina was actually concerned about Henry falling into a hole and hurting himself.

Somehow I think Regina’s rousing speech about Jiminy making Henry not believe in fairy tales anymore is just making Jiminy believe there’s something to Henry’s thoughts. At least that Regina’s an evil queen.

Jiminy, I think staying with your parents until you’re over 30 and balding is possibly when it’s okay to leave them.

Snow and James are playing hangman. It looks pretty flirty, and there’s some longing. So James is lying to his wife about remembering the family dog?

Rumpelstiltskin seems to be working his way into everyone’s stories. He’s putting on a really bad Italian accent. Is that supposed to be a nod to Jiminy’s Italian origins?

I feel like I’m watching the Gooney’s, and I’m expecting someone to come around the corner and shout “Hey you guys!” Also, Henry, there are reasons why playing in an abandoned mine shaft is a bad idea. I love that’s it’s Jiminy/Archie who’s trapped with Henry, not Emma.

Henry: just remember, kids, say no to abandoned mine shafts are playgrounds.

Wow, Jiminy’s life really sucked big time. Turning kid’s parents into puppets and getting yelled at by him. And in fairy tale land, I love how soon the kid accepts that those are really his parents. And when Jiminy’s parents take the dolls, Rumpelstiltskin’s going to turn him into a cricket.

Jiminy’s parents: pretty much the worst ever.

Yep, the very worst.

Regina actually looks like she’s worried about Henry for perhaps the first time. The mine never opens when you’re only halfway through the episode.

Snow totally did not expect James to confess his feelings for her. Of course, his wife comes to interrupt them. You don’t want another mine shaft opening up.

Awkward town.

Dogs are the smartest ever. I want a puppy, friends.

Dogs are the smartest ever.

Jiminy is definitely seeing himself reflected in Henry: in their relationships with their parents. I do like Henry telling Jiminy that it’s okay to take a little while to figure out who you want to be.

And Regina and Emma just got a little slashy there. Wowzas.

Emma’s very determined.

Yeah, Archie’s umbrella saved him. Good thing that he invested in a good one. Not a shoddy one from the Dollar Tree like the one’s in my closet.

A little guy bonding time.

Emma, your bonding moment with Regina’s now over.

Jiminy finally stood up to Regina.

Wow, the blue fairy is all bosoms. I didn’t see her turning him into a cricket. Oh, I love the ending to this story. It’s so much less horrible than I had expected. I like that. (Though totally interesting that Geppetto’s parents were turned into wooden dolls; and Geppetto gets his wooden boy doll turned into a son.)

The Blue Fairy, she grants wishes with her magical boobs. I mean, fairy dust.

Crickets have returned.

Cricket time.

What’s at the bottom of that mind shaft?

Once Upon a Time 1×06 “The Shepherd”

In this episode, David tries to remember who he’s supposed to be.

The Doctor doesn’t think anything’s weird that David/James still doesn’t remember anything? I mean, most injuries causing memory loss rarely last for every long. (Sorry, soap opera plots.)

David’s just going to put a bird…house on his missing memories.

Ooh, are we going to find out about Regina’s lost love tonight? Regina now has her first friend, Katherine. In 30 years…

Surprise, not surprise, that David/James goes looking for Mary/Snow. Jason – “I think I remember this part of Highlander.” Though I’m pretty fond of the bad guy’s helmet.

And the guy with the biggest sword…

It’s Lindquist from Angel. Lilah isn’t here to chop off his head for being evil. (Yeah, he’s the caring father here.)

King Midas seems to have solve his problem. Except that a sword of gold is not very good for fighting as it’s a pretty soft metal. Wait…James gets stabbed in the heart.

Oh, crap. He’s dead. Hope there’s a spare around.

King George cries over his fake!son.

Figures that Rumpelstiltskin is behind something. Does he just go around switching the kids of the fairy tale land? (The writers really need to give fairy tale land a name. I mean, at least in Fables, it was the Homelands. Give this reviewer an easier time.) Okay, Lindquist is evil. He just sold out Cinderella’s fairy godmother. Twins?!

I thought Storybrooke was supposed to be small? Why does Emma drive everywhere?

So Katherine was married to his twin? Or she could’ve been?

David and Katherine try to dig up some more memories. Like someone else’s memories.

I rather expected the King to go on his own. But I suppose Rumpelstiltskin would want to make sure he gets the goods from his deal and to shame David/James’ mom.

Who you gonna call? Rumpelstiltskin.

James and his mom.

Regina can’t be the mayor of everyone’s personal life. Though I can almost believe that most of her righteousness comes from being Katherine’s friend.

Shiny armor! Shiny.

The gold sword’s still the wrong idea. Why do they need to slay this dragon so badly? Kingdom deals? Yeah, all the smoking bodies are pretty ominous. Those dudes are all dead. Called it. Apparently, stupid bravery does run in families. Why didn’t the dragon just toast him?

Shouldn’t they close the door? Or you know, go somewhere that everyone else can’t see them? This town already lacks privacy.

Girl talk with your mom is so odd. Will James/David fully take off his ring?

Emma and some awkward girl talk with mom.

Of course, Midas turns the dragon’s head into gold. Which is really a super easy solution to taxidermy. Oh, snap, he was looking for a husband for his daughter, who’s Abigail/Katherine. Wow, that’s a silly dress. Lindquist aka King George is EVIL.

The best taxidermy in the world: gold touch. Easy.

It’s stalker Regina! Don’t trust her!

Tame the doughnut.

Too bad that they don’t have their cell phone numbers. David/James totally figures that something’s up. Of course, Mr. Gold is also not the person to ask. Unless Cinderella’s back stealing stuff. Those dolls are fucking creepy. The WINDMILL. It’s evil. Rumpelstiltskin definitely knows they’re not in Never-Never Land anymore.

I’m under your spell. God, how could this be? Messing with my memories.

James’ mom, that’s pretty dramatic to say you can’t ever see your son again. He could like visit you or something.

What’s the point of this flashback? That James/David just isn’t some Prince? That his mom’s ring always means true love? I think it would’ve been way better if Katherine/Abigail was engaged to his twin. I supposed that if Snow and James got back together right away that the show would be moving too quickly along. Which means at some point, he’s going to look at her ring and realize she’s the one.

Cat burglar? Or sneaking out teen? Or Sheriff Graham having sex with Regina?

Sheriff’s got a secret. A sexy secret.

Still an ugly dress.

Yep, ugly dress. Abigail deserves something better.

Let me guess, the good doctor is going to pick up Snow? He’s kind of icky.

Once Upon a Time 1×07 “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter”

Graham is a darts pro. Gets all the ladies.

Even drunk, the Sheriff is a dart pro. He never misses. Maybe he’s really Hawkeye. “I can’t feel anything when I’m with her.”

He’s totally the wolf. Oh, Fables compares, start your engines now. Poor Graham gets reject by Emma and then goes to Regina. Regina who’s clearly not sure what’s up.

Regina and her palace. Now that’s some CGI.

Interesting that Snow and Regina get along at this point. At the point of her father’s death. Yet Regina seems to blame Snow now… Okay, now it’s different. I wonder when we’re going to find out just what Regina blames Snow for. I love how Regina doesn’t trust her knights to be killers. Knights are wimpy.

Magical Mirror knows what’s going on.

That’s was horrible CGI deer. Oh, Huntsman, don’t tell Regina your dreams. Yeah, you can’t play the stay game when you’ve always wanted him to go away, Regina.

The Huntsman crying over his kill.

Regina’s not happy. This is not what your special friend’s supposed to do post-coital.

Look, it’s the wolf! I love a show with a puppy.

Wolf time. Magical wolf.

Emma has some assumptions. Mary’s seeing the Doctor. This is kind of a funny exchange. In that horrible way. That your mom always tells you the truth, Emma. In that mean mom truth telling way.

Just some girl talk.

What the hell is Mr. Gold doing? Sometimes I think Emma should just follow him around. Was someone burying a wolf? Or was Rumpelstiltskin the wolf? I kind of hope that he’s not involved in every tale. It gets a little old.

Mr. Gold’s just hanging out in the forest. Like he does.

Bar fight over a puppy! This is a little John Snow and Game of Thrones. Which is perfectly fine because I can get behind that.

I want a puppy like that.

“Wolves indeed.” I think that was a come-on. That corset she’s wearing is pretty crazy severe.

Making a deal with the evil queen.

Yay, the Huntsman is the first environmentalist. Win.

Huntsman isn’t believing what she’s selling. Exept that he does agree in the end.

Graham looks really crazy in this scene. I suppose that’s what they’re going for here. He has a fever, but he’s clearly going to go talk with Henry about how they’re all fairy tales.

Snow is very perceptive. I wish she was more perceptive in Storybrooke. I love her playing with Graham’s uncomfortableness with the armor.

Those abs: good for bullets and pretending to be Batman.

Regina doesn’t play psychiatrist very well. Emma’s going to really start believing in this fairy tale stuff if she keeps pressing Emma like that.

Called it. The advice of a kid. Oh, I have not missed Henry not being in episodes.

You’re kind of screwed when you go to Henry for advice.

Okay, now we all want to know what’s in that letter. The Huntsman always cries when he goes to kill his prey or better when he has sympathy for them. And then lets them go.

“You kissed my mom.” Best line this kid has gotten. Henry’s really a downer. His heart’s in her vault, and I wonder where said vault is.

“No, you’re not fine. You just went to a 10-year-old for help.” Too true. And then they see the wolf. Now they’re all starting to believe things.
Oooh, there’s a cemetery in town. Too bad they don’t have Buffy with them. I like how the lighting’s gotten a lot darker. Good thing that Emma has no problems with breaking and entering.

Emma’s a little disappointed in Graham.

How much do we want to bet that Regina moved it. That Mr. Gold was burying it in the forest. Or something. But you’d think the wolf would know.

Yes, we are going to get to know what she wrote. And it doesn’t tell us anything new.

Ewww…boxes of hearts.

This does seem like a set from Buffy.

I don’t like love triangle weirdness. Even if there’s other reasons, but I don’t like it being played in the Storybrooke reality. Well, Regina never saw that coming. Oooh, Emma getting all self-righteous. Probably not a good idea. Fighting is never a good idea.

Regina can always tell when someone’s in her territory.

Tank tops! I approve of Emma’s clothing.

Yay, we’re going to get to see some of the fairy tale world in Storybrooke! This makes me happy.

Seriously, she’s going to kill him? Not cool, story. So not cool.

Shiny heart. In her hand!

At least they get some smoochies. Before he dies.

Once Upon a Time 1×08 “Desperate Souls”

Going to be a sad, sad tale.

I take it we’re having a tale about how Rumpelstiltskin got to be such a jerk. Apparently, the Ogre Wars include making young girls soldiers (and perhaps sex toys). Yeah, I noticed that rape reference there.

We just confirmed that the Sheriff is definitely dead. Interesting that Rumpelstiltskin would offer Emma his stuff. Now we figured out what Rumpelstiltskin’s thing with children is. Hopefully, there’s more to this episode than his missing child.

Emma’s definitely not okay with this plot.

I’m glad that they’re talking about how Henry feels bad about Graham and like it’s partially his fault that he’s dead.

Henry and his castle of shame.

Oh, Regina firing Emma and making another power play.

Sheriff star is on the table.

I approve of Sonic Youth rage. Maybe not breaking toasters. Those tend to be helpful.

And then there was drinking.

Interesting that Mr. Gold considers himself Regina’s enemy. Town charters always come back to bite you in the butt.

Seriously, if there’s a big war on, why are these soldiers wasting their time chasing down villagers on the road? This seems to be the reason why they’re losing this war. Maybe they should’ve spent less time blaming Rumpelstiltskin for their war problems.

They make an attempt to run away.

Yeah, anytime the villain wants you to kiss his boot, you’re going to get kicked in the face. That’s pretty standard. Let me guess, the random beggar is actually the magic wizard guy we saw earlier.

I love we’re seeing Sidney Glass (the Magic Mirror) through a mirror and cameras (which were originally made with mirror-like technology). It’s even election season on Once Upon a Time. Ooh, this is a really great excuse for her to meet more people in the town.

Regina’s office: super amazing set decorations here.

Somehow I think this dagger is not good. There’s some kind of Catch-22 here, which probably involves still losing his son, which creates his life-long obsession with children.

Yep, there’s some trickery going on.

So is Mr. Gold going to find a loophole for Emma to be Henry’s legal mom again? I hope it’s not that obvious.

Trying to out evil each other. I think this might backfire.

At least Henry caught onto Mr. Gold being evil. And no, Henry wouldn’t have access to sealed legal records.

Why can we see Red’s mid-drift when everyone else is wearing scarves and jackets for New England wintertime?

Fighting fire with an explosion. Which apparently hurt Regina. Somehow I don’t think it’s a coincidence…

Emma and Regina get caught in the fire.

Of course, it’s true that he ran. 13-year-old kid, you don’t understand war. And I paused this episode for like 30 minutes to do other work as I’m just not into it. It’s not really the kick butt mid-season opener I need. Instead, it seems really obvious.

Regina, you’re one of those people who thinks the worse. Like that time I thanked someone, and they thought I did it as a business move.

Though we found out that Mr. Gold set the fire. Can we say duh? This episode is an entire duh episode. Wow, he even plays the Henry card.

David works with puppies. Snow doesn’t have a little sexual tension aggressive to staple away.

Awe. This is why I’m so not into this whole child plot. Making sure that he has a hero in his life.

Emma’s perfectly lighted. Like she’s in a TV show or something.

Okay, Rumpelstiltskin might’ve gotten played. Beggar is so the Dark One (or whatever his name was). And putting doubts of paternity. Dudes put way too much weight on if the kid’s actually theirs. Totally got played.

So there’s a magic knife that can control Rumpelstiltskin. Perhaps the only interesting (though obvious) outcome of this episode.

Telling the truth gave Henry back his hope. Everyone likes that Emma stands up to the villains. And now the “Dark One” is going to lose the love of his kid. Figures. But kids don’t belong to you. They’re yours, but you don’t own them because you don’t own people.

They’re just holding out for a hero.

Once Upon a Time 1×09 “True North”

I vote for more comic books on this show.

So Henry flirts with a girl who has a brother who looks a lot like him. And the kids are completely Hansel and Gretel.

Hansel and Gretel: obvious to all viewers

I’m enjoying Gretel and her willingness of pick up an axe and start chopping down trees. That actor playing the father/woodsman looks extremely familiar… OMG, it’s Krycek. That’s right, Gretel is in charge. Daddy is gone, and somehow I think there’s more to this story than the typical stepmother situation. Or at least I’d hope so. We have enough problems with the adopted kids so far.

In the forest without their breadcrumbs.

Instead, it’s Regina.

Oh, Emma, she just has a big heart. Unlike Regina and her totally awesome outfit. The leather and the purple, I want it. Even with the odd mullet shirt over the leather pants with the mini-skirt attachment. I guess that’s better than leggings as pants.

Regina and her fabulous witch hat

Like parents don’t look outside when their kids come home in a police car. I’m supposed to believe that Emma is that stupid. Nope. Why are the kids living in the basement? The fact that no one noticed there were homeless children kind of says something about Henry’s belief about the curse. I mean, we viewers know more about Regina’s powers, but this might be a little odder.

Wow, keeping children away from their father is like a super jerky move there, Regina. And Emma’s the only one who can leave Storybrooke. Except that time she didn’t. Or can Regina lift the spell just enough? I mean, Rumpelstiltskin did have to leave to get Henry.

Because she eats children! Oh, come on, it has to be made of sugar and she has to eat children.

That’s some bad CGI right there. It doesn’t even look like candy. Maybe Candy Land.

Look, children, come play Candy Land IRL.

How many volumes is Henry’s book? There seriously can’t be that many stories in that book. Maybe Henry has a secret compendium or the book is like a TARDIS, bigger on the inside. Oooh, I had wondered when Henry was going to ask about his father. Wow, the story of Henry’s father is way tragic. I’d complain about the lack of pumpkin pie too.

This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Gross, that house so doesn’t look edible. Those those cupcakes look like every other week at my work. Oh, Hansel, boys just can’t keep their hands out of the sweets, and now the witch is awake. It’s Emma Caulfield! Did someone just raid all my favorite actors to play the evil witches? Win.

They pretty much recreated the inside of my work. (Just kidding!)

Emma Caulfield is basically the best. When’s the episode where all the witches hang out?

Of course, Mr. Gold sold the watch to Hansel and Gretel’s father, and he wants something from her. And we find out that he always remembers names.

That is the Woodsman, also known as Michael. Let me guess, he’s going to touch the watch and start remembering some kind of affection for his children. (Mom was a thief?) This is a little self-righteous speech. Also, they would only find him if Emma told them.

Oooh, this means that Henry’s father is totally going to come to Storybrooke…

Poor blind witch, she just wants some food. I mean, sugar is not good for your teeth at all. She seriously didn’t put a spell on her oven, and Regina helped out a little with the fire. And also admitted that she eats children too.

But really who doesn’t eat children when they ruin your plans.

Saddened to see her shoved in the oven so soon.

The poisoned apple. And Regina wants to adopt them? Gretel is so not down with that. Oh, Hansel might if she has cupcakes.

Well, Emma’s car dying isn’t as dramatic as the entire car crash. Guess who we’ll have to call? The Woodcutter/Michael. Don’t worry, Krycek, your boyfriend Mulder will believe that you were kidnapped by an evil queen. But he might think she’s an alien.

Michael finds his children.

Let me guess, she put them on opposite sides of fairytale land.

So Emma did this on purpose? I still think we need a story about adopted children or step-children who love their parents. It’s not entirely true that everyone will automatically love their children just because they’re blood-related. Oh, I know, silly happy ending.

I wondered when Emma was going to tell Snow that Henry thinks she’s her mom. And how she’d react.

Mother-daughter time.

Who comes into town? Henry’s father, right? A mysterious stranger?

Who’s this new stranger?

Once Upon a Time 1×10 “7:15 A.M.”

The worst coffee dates ever.

Oh, Henry’s the little investigative journalist of Storybrooke trying to figure out who the stranger is. The stranger with a mission. “A storm’s coming.” Wow, that’s a little literal there, writers.

Mary’s in a hurray today. The kids are making a volcano. Baking soda and vinegar are the best ever, and for cleaning your sink, which you can do anytime so isn’t that awesome. And it turns out that Mary’s actually a stalker of James. Apes? What kind of animal shelter is that?

Emma’s so nosy and calling her mom a stalker. Which she so is. No magic cures for love.

I love that Red delivers food to Snow and that she owns a diner in Storybrooke. Red’s cape is so awesome. Does that mean Snow helped take down the Big Bad Wolf? That would be amazing and is a story I can get behind.

Just being awesome.

Rumpelstiltskin is really hamming it up this episode. And whomever put on his sparkly makeup decided to go overboard.

Into the sparkles and the fog machines.

And James’ wife might be pregnant. Is Regina like eagle eye for everyone?

King George isn’t Linwood from Angel; he’s Bradford Meade from Ugly Betty, where he too played a shitty dad. Oh, old white dudes, you all look alike. I wish that I had some birds to deliver my messages. My messages right to another dimension. Also the pigeon wasn’t really wrapped up that much in the netting. And the dove is now a metaphor for James and Snow. The story is far too literal.

King George is also bored with the literalness of this plot.

Pigeon. I mean, dove. I mean, pigeon.

For a second, Regina through Emma believes in the curse and knows she’s responsible. Hahaha. And Regina just played the Henry card.

Regina makes everyone’s business her business. Micro manage much?

Can you get that purple monster fur at the Joanne’s Fabrics in fairy tale land, Snow? Two days time is really not very long to get across all of the fairy tale world. Especially since Snow has a bounty on her head. Really, Snow’s fabric choices in fairy tale land are just exquisite.

So Snow went all the way there just to hide when she saw James and then get put into prison… Snow meets the first of the seven dwarves: Grumpy. Stealthy and his sleeping gas, win. Best change in the dwarves pattern.

Behind bars.

What’s with this dangerous woods everyone keeps going into? Good thing David’s there to save her.

Oh, shit, Stealthy just got an arrow to the chest. And Grumpy’s going to die for her too. Dang.

Apparently, King George feeds his soldiers well. Too many donuts.

And Once Upon a Time just became part of the Canadian Shack-a-thon… This is definitely going to end with some smooches.

We’re in a random shack in the woods, and this isn’t a due South fanfic.

The wife being pregnant thing just came in. In time for them not to kiss. Not a good Canadian Shack fic.

Did this just all Literals on us? Are they going to start having the Writer literally pen new stories for Storybrooke?

Okay, now that’s a dove. I know my birds, and the first one was definitely a pigeon.

David just said he has memories of feelings for Katherine and real feelings for Mary Margaret…I think those are different things.

Yes, King George, Snow poisoned the kingdom on purpose. And you’re a jerk who’s just content on throwing away fake sons. Snow obviously gave him something in that note. More than just returning his love letter. Snow doesn’t give up when people threaten to kill her.

Katherine’s not pregnant, and she might break up with David. Or instead, they’re going to go downstairs and have breakfast in their own kitchen.

I’m glad Grumpy stopped Snow from drinking that elixir. “I need my pain. I makes me who I am. It makes me grumpy.” Awesome meta there, Grumpy. Yep, just a tad literal this episode.

Snow and her fellows.

James is super determined to find Snow. He even left Abigail, and Snow took the elixir…

No matter what, they always run into each other. Kissing in the public square is never a good idea, especially when Regina’s watching you. Seriously, she’s better than a CCTV camera.

Once Upon a Time 1×11 “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree”

Yeah, I could’ve called Regina knowing about the castle and where he’s hiding his book. “People can get hurt.” Foreshadowing much.

Ooh, Mary’s keeping the secret from Emma about David.

The diner is the place for obvious secrets.

Oh, Sydney, he’s not very happy. I can’t wait to discover what the truth about Regina is and what he actually knows. Especially if it’s anything supernatural. Which it’s probably not.

Sydney has his unhappy face.

Interesting, Sydney was a genie. Who finally met someone who made a wish for him. Aw, he has a hunt for true love. This king guy looks familiar; I want to say that he played someone evil somewhere. Haha, no, he was just Toby from the West Wing. I take it this was before Regina was evil.

This genie just won the lottery!

All’s well, ends well. Except this is only the start of the episode.

Mary’s feeling kind of guilty, which always makes me wonder just who’s watching.

Forbidden love in the forest.

$50,000 out of a small town’s budget is quite a bit of money.

So Regina was totally jealous of King Leopold’s affection for his daughter or his dead wife, Snow’s mother. Awe, Sydney was really sweet to her.

Some obvious mirror foreshadowing, but sweet nonetheless.

Mary’s self-identifying with their plotting a little too much. There seems to be a little more information they could dig up. Hee. Emma’s finally getting a little more awesome. I figured her “play by the rules” face wouldn’t last very long.

Dude, King Leopold should know better than to read Regina’s diary. That’s just a bunch of bullshit. Also there’s no way Leopold is that fucking stupid. He completely saw Sydney hold it.

If only they had feminism and didn’t look at women, especially wives, as property. Fairy tale fail.

In the woods on a stormy night they go to spy on the mayor. Emergency break, sheriff. Good thing Sydney’s a car expert to tell it was snapped…

Leopold is a totally dick. (Though I do think it would be interesting to see this from Snow’s point-of-view.)

I don’t know how exactly Regina has enough time to run the entire city. Because no one believed that story about some kids.

Regina was going to kill herself? That’s pretty drastic. Also, I can’t believe she doesn’t have an ounce of happiness if she happened to fall in love. Sydney killed Leopold?

We got snakes in a box! In a motherfucking box.

The writer guy is completely barking up the wrong tree for information.

She’s building a playhouse. This is pretty good. Also odd that she’d be recreating the castle. Though perhaps she’s recreating it to channel some kind of power through it. Though why would you put a kid’s playhouse all the way out in the woods.

Emma may have found the keys to the kingdom. But she doesn’t have all the answers.

Okay, creepy snakes crawling under covers makes this normally not scared of snakes gal freak out a little bit. Where did they go? And Leopold was still a dick in death.

King Leopold is dead.

Of course, Regina played the Henry card. Which is why Emma needed to play it clean.

I’m not sure that play-structure looks very safe. They can be apart so we don’t have to have little children as main characters for a bit. I’m completely cool with that.

The new playground is more modern than the last one.

And the adults be drinking.

The writer dude has the book? Twist I didn’t see coming.

And this whole story keeps getting more ridiculous. Especially since Regina’s the queen, and I’m pretty sure she can order a stay of execution. So then what the heck is wrong with Regina? Sydney knows better than to make wishes. Dumb idea.

Okay, why is Sydney still working for Regina? Are we just supposed to know that he’s a complete sucker for her?

Mirror, mirror. Perhaps he just doesn’t want to be trapped again if the magic comes back.

Once Upon a Time 1×12 “Skin Deep”

We’re playing Risk. While LARPing.

Interesting that we’re starting off in fairy tale land. Oh, they’re trying to keep away Rumpelstiltskin or call on him for help. He only likes children, dude. Or apparently, a wife in this case. I’m liking that someone is saying “no” to him. Oh, wait. The princess is going to be all noble. Though I like that she wants to decide her own fate. It’s Belle! OMG, this is a fun twist on Beauty and the Beast! I’m kind of enjoying it. (As much as one can of the Stockholm Syndrome tale.) Gaston’s also a much nicer guy here than in the Disney cartoon.

He’s here not to steal your children for once.

I take it this is the very special Valentine’s Day episode? Mr. Gold hating love. I do love his John Lennon glasses.

These flowers annoy me. I abhor them. Let me kneecap you.

Awe, it’s so cute that Mary Margaret is giving Emma updates about Henry. Life ain’t so shiny for Ashley and her newborn. Though I totally support the girls night. Especially if it involves lots of liquor and gossip.

We’re dating. We’re not dating. We’re just badly not dating.

Who’d break into Mr. Gold’s house?

The whole thing about skinning children, hilarious. No, seriously, that was a good joke for someone who’s supposedly evil. Clearly, Mr. Gold has some knowledge of the “real world” as he called his dungeon “Europe.”

Nice play there, Emma. Though Mr. Gold does tend to run his business like the one-man mob.

Hahaha. Oh, this is ridiculous in that fairy tale way about warming one’s heart. Belle’s even wearing the silly dress.

This thing better not talk like the Disney movie.

“There’s something missing.” I wonder what this is. Is Belle locked in that house too?

Belle’s about as good of a talker as Rumpelstiltskin. Well, Gaston was ridiculous in any ‘verse. I’m kind of loving Belle and her feminism and her drive to see the world. Good thing she is a hero now. Even if she just cut the rose he was turned into. Though this is still a bit of a Stockholm story.

Just gaze into the soft lighting of Stockholm.

Interesting that he essentially lets her go.

Oh, Ruby, you are so crazy. Poor Mary and Cinderella… That’s really not what girls’ night is.

Where’s the debauchery?

Mr. Gold is buying rope and duct tape. He found Mr. French. Sucks for Mr. French. Though he should know to be nicer since Emma will put him away.

Of course, Regina shows up. “I would never suggest a young woman to kiss a man who held her captive. What kind of message is that?” Excellent lamp shade hanging there, show. I greatly appreciate this given the creepy nature of Beauty and the Beast. Interesting though how much Regina hangs on a true love kiss.

Regina uses the powers of feminism for evil.

Rumpelstiltskin hangs out by the window just watching for her. Creepy. But not surprising. Regina changed her mind. Not that he knows that. Okay, he does now. And he throws his “true love” back into the dungeon. I guess there won’t be any animated teacups and teapots.

One kiss and the patriarch loses his powers.

And the lady gets locked away. She also probably can’t vote or get birth control.

Oh, Mary Margaret and Ashely connecting with each other on a silly level. Good thing Sean showed up with roses and a ring. Normally, I’m not for public proposals, but we all know she wanted this to happen beforehand. Now Mary Margaret is there to drown in her own sorrows. Except there’s David suddenly. He is going to leave his wife, right? I guess not. Or he just needs to get up the courage to break up with his wife. Not rocket science.

Public proposals are still creepy.

Yeah, Mr. Gold, you should’ve expected for her to arrest you. Emma doesn’t let those things slide.

Emma’s all smug. Smuggy McSmugger Pants.

I love Belle. She’s super awesome. As are the twists on her story.

Regina plays the system here. Ah, Regina has what Rumpelstiltskin wants. Of course, she does. Regina’s trying to figure out how much Mr. Gold knows about his past. Emma better have cameras going on in there. And yes, we have confirmation that he knows. It’s the chipped cup.

I don’t think Mr. Gold will be behind bars for very long. That’s just not how he rolls.

Heee. I love the Little Mermaid throwaway line. So Belle’s dad is Mr. French, and she really did kills herself. Wow, that’s a sucky way to end. If what Regina said is true. Of course, Belle could be in the emergency care. Regina sure keeps a lot of people hidden in that hospital. Creepy.

0_0 Just locking people up.

Just so smug about our prisoners. Of course, Regina’s just all about the power.

Belle’s alive!

Watch for yourself. Buy Once Upon a Time: The Complete First Season.

I’m pleased to announce that Chicks Unravel Time is out today, featuring my essay “How the Cold War Killed the Fifth Doctor.” I’m super excited to be featured in another Mad Norwegian Press book. A big thank you to Deborah Stanish and L.M. Myles for their excellent work wrangling all of us authors and editing the book. Chicks Unravel Time features 34 Doctor Who essays spanning from Season One all the way to Matt Smith and his bowtie.

Obviously, you should buy this book. Or buy on Powells since they have it in stock.

And you should like its Facebook page and if you’re in Massachusetts or Chicago, there are signings. (Which this Seattleite is going to have to miss.) Also sign up for the giveaway and read the reviews from SFX and the Examiner. And follow the tag on Tumblr.

My essay features Season 21 and Peter Davison’s Fifth Doctor. Before I wrote this essay, I didn’t have a favorite Doctor. In fact, most Doctor Who seasons, both new and old, I’d seen, the Doctor had been my least favorite character. Then I spent my last holiday season jamming with the Fifth Doctor and watching him with his celery stalk. The Fifth Doctor definitely become my favorite as he’s the nicest Doctor around. I also got to talk a little bit about the Cold War, which for many years was another obsession of mine. (Doctor Who‘s just a more fun topic to talk about in public, and you get less made fun of. )

My copies haven’t arrived in the mail yet. But I’m super excited to dig into them as Mad Norwegian Press books have been super awesome.