Smart Cookie

Certified First Aid & CPR... er

2011-10-05T11:40:00.013-06:00

So for the last couple of days my Man and I have been in First Aid and CPR training. That’s right. I’m officially a “first-aider”. That is until it expires in 2014. Mmm hmm. I could splint you up, wash your wounds and attempt to give you the Heimlich maneuver.

WE can save YOU

I can even use one of THESE..

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However, if you’re going to collapse in front of me it would be better to do it within the next few months while it’s fresh. Four years is a long time, two and I’m liable to shock you AND myself; in which case we’ll need TWO more first-aiders since now there are two unconscious victims laying on top each other.

The class was really fun, but mostly because I got to take it with my Man. We seemed to think giving each other splints, slings, pretend CPR and the Heimlich was pretty funny. Well I did anyway. I imagine the instructor wasn’t amused by my giggling the entire time he was “checking my body for injuries” or responsiveness. I also found it funny pretending to be serious and hollering, “get the AED” at him while I performed CPR on a naked half-bodied dummy. "FASTER, I'm going to lose him!! So what if he's already missing his bottom half and doesn't have arms!!"

Now before you can become an official “First-aider” you have to pass an open book test. My Man got 100 percent on his exam and I, well, I got a few wrong, which is strange since I was half copying him. And it was open book. Anyway, for starters, I said that if I were cutting an umbilical cord (if this is the case than I think you have bigger problems anyway) that I would cut it 10 to 15 cm meters away from the belly button. The RIGHT answer is 5 to 10. So it’s a little long? Big deal. I also tried to say that CPR restores partial flow of oxygenated blood to the heart and brain keeping the victim alive until EMS arrives (which is true) AND that it also prevents cardiac arrest and EVEN restarts the heart (not true). Turns out it does not prevent cardiac arrest since that person is already IN cardiac arrest. And, although it would be nice, it does NOT restart the heart. Other than that I can’t remember what else I got wrong. I know what you’re thinking, you hope I’m around if you ever go down don’t you?

One thing I noticed about the course was that with all the potential emergencies like diabetic emergency, heart attack, stroke, bone break due to osteoporosis, etc.. We not only talked about how to handle the situation but also prevention. And you know what prevention always came down to with these sorts of diseases and illnesses? DIET and EXERCISE. Clearly in some cases it can be hereditary, but in MOST cases these are your two best forms of prevention.

Other forms of prevention..

Impaled Objects: Stay away from flying objects.

Snakebites: Do not aggravate a snake.

Swallowed Poisons: Don’t drink cleaners.

Speaking of diet and exercise. Actually just diet. And more like, food. Friday night was my SPLURGE night and MEL'S bday celebration.

I don't know how many times I have to tell her, "you are not a wizard".

Since it was a sweat pant and no make-up kind of affair I only took pictures of the SPREAD, which was well stocked with lots of Mel's favorite things.

I hosted at my parents place, since the Condo Castle isn't as spacious. Well and because their house is beautiful.

Double Chocolate Single-Chin Brownies, which I frosted with vegan Cream Cheese icing from the Carrot Cake recipe. This is ANOTHER great recipe. And another recipe down in my quest to make the ENTIRE book.

Brie Cheese with Maple Syrup and crushed Walnuts..

Shrimp Ring

Salsa, Nacho Mmm Sauce and White Bean Guacamole..

And my new OBSESSION, Veggie Straws..

If you don't see this bag when you open your pantry I hope it's because you ate them all. Someone described them to me as crunchy McDonalds fries. Thankfully, unlike McDonalds fries, I don't plan on dipping these ones in mayo or "McChicken Sauce" as rotten ronnie's likes to call it. Sensible Portions did good. I think? I haven't actually checked the ingredient list. They're probably better than doritos though!

I also like the fact that a portion is 68 straws. That's my kind of serving size. I like to pretend that the entire bag is 68 straws. Just go with it.

Happy Wednesday!! Call me if you choke.

They Do

2011-09-29T10:15:00.011-06:00

The Wedding! So Saturday was Linds' big day...

She's the big girl, not the little one. We're in Canada, not Bangladesh. Who said that?

Here are a bunch of random pictures in a somewhat specific order. Somewhat was the best I could do. This one should go here, this one here, that one... Bored.

About half of these pictures are from my camera and the other half are from none other than LEX.

I know these next two pictures are practically the same. I only posted them because my eyes are shut in both. What are the odds? I swear I wasn't sleeping.

This next one might actually be the best picture of the whole night. See that shoe on the ground? It landed there after hitting the bouquet catcher in the head. Someone REALLY wants to get married.

How cute are they?

Spa Nights

2011-09-22T13:08:00.009-06:00

Ugh it's Friday and the last time I posted was Monday. It's been 3 days too many since my last post. Well WHAT can I tell you..

Monday night I watched The Playboy Club and fell in love with it. Although Playboy magazine isn't really my thing, nor is hedonism or Crystal Harris, I am fascinated by Hugh Hefner and the empire he created. I like people who do different things. Push the envelope. Through his magazine, playboy clubs, the bunnies and the mansion itself, in the early 60's Hefner offered a fantasy/lifestyle that went against society's fundamental morals. Talk about pushing the envelope, he threw it across the room. I like his style.

Anyway, The Playboy club is set in 60's Chicago and takes place during the beginning of it all. Mobsters, bunnies, hot shot lawyers, politics, secrets? Yes please. Watch. This. Show.

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This is how I look sitting at my desk too..

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WHAT else.

Wednesday was a Bridal Party Spa Night. Photography courtesy of Lex. She just got a fancy new camera, but it looks like she's been taking professional pictures forever.

The Spa Night was hosted by the Beautiful Bride..

And future Mrs. S..

I'm one of her bridesmaids, remember? Of course you don't. Anyway, she spoiled us with lots of treats..

And gifts..

I can't WAIT for tomorrow, which is the actual wedding day. Judging by Lindsay's good taste, event planning skills and eye for detail, her wedding is going to be over the top phenomenal. Phenomenal, ALWAYS such a hard word for me to spell.

Speaking of weddings, yesterday I stumbled across this article,Why So Many Of Us Marry The Wrong Person. And WHAT a good article it was. I don't know about you, but I'm always hearing about people getting divorced and I always wonder why. Which one ended it? Who cheated? Who thought the grass was greener? Which neighbor called the police? Who gets the kids? Okay, I don't really know any couple friends with kids but if I did, who gets the kids?

According to this article a large chunk of women KNOW they're marrying the wrong person on their wedding day and these are the top 5 most cited reasons why they do it..

1. We've dated for so long I don't want to waste all the time we have invested in the relationship.

2. I don't want to be alone.

3. He'll change after we get married.

4. It is too late, too embarrassing and/or too expensive to call off the wedding.

5. He is a really nice guy; I don't want to hurt his feelings.

6. I am stupid.

Okay, I added that last one myself. Thankfully, I'm not expecting any changes after marriage. I hope he's not either. I'm never going to do the laundry or steadily pick up after myself. Or wash my hands before touching the cupboards. Maybe I should make that clear incase he's banking on that? Anyway, the moral of this story is calling off a wedding might be embarrassing and expensive, but divorce is embarrassing and expensive. The priest is a priest not a magician. You might not be able to get a refund on your past investments, but you can quit adding to your debt. If you don't want to be alone, buy a dog.

Or buy one even if you accidentally went through with the marriage, they'll give you a whole new set of problems and you'll forget about the rest.

And before I go, this post is lacking FOOD.

TGIF.

What Weekend

2011-09-19T10:28:00.009-06:00

This past weekend FLEW by. If you told me it never happened I would believe you. Unless I saw these pictures, then I'd know you're lying.

SATURDAY

My Man and I attended the wedding of this beautiful couple.

The dinner, decor, music, candy bar, speeches, slide show, did I say candy bar? Were all outstanding. Everything was perfect, right down to the tiny little details. The tiny details that I'm sure to forget and overlook when it comes to my wedding. I needed music?

Can't WAIT to make him my husband..

SUNDAY

My Mom and I hosted a baby shower, "Tyson's First Bash", for my Sister and this little guy.....

If you don't want to pinch those cheeks, what's wrong with you?

I took full advantage of this opportunity and made MOST of the appetizers/baking out of the Peas and Thank You cookbook. Remember when I told you that I'm obsessed with making people eat the food I make and then hope that they'll tell me how good it is? Well I was in my glory. The food was a HIT, like "can I get the recipe?" kind of hit. Here's what I made.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Balls

Vegan Sugar Cookie Cutouts

Vegan Carrot Cake Bars with "Cream Cheese" Icing

I made them as mini cupcakes instead..

Peanut Butter Blondie with Chocolate Ganache

White Bean Guacamole

It's like Where's Waldo, only look for the bowl of green.

I did pretty good if I do say so myself.

Once everyone left the boys were allowed back in the house and we had our usual Sunday Family Supper.

The happy family..

And my Man, watching football while awkwardly holding the baby for what I'm pretty sure is the first time.

He looks good with a baby, no?

Iron Woman

2011-09-16T08:22:00.005-06:00

Another day, another reciPEA. Yesterday for breakfast I had a Baked Oatmeal Square and topped it with some raw almond butter. I made mine sans dried cranberries though. I didn't have any. What?

I liked this oatmeal square. I liked it alot. It's quick, thick, dense and filling. Just the way I like my food. In the cookbook it says the whole batch makes 9 squares, but I cut mine into 8. The recipe is SO simple and I must say, one thing i'm loving about all these recipes is the left overs. Now I have 7 (well 6, I had one this morning too) more breakfasts ready in the fridge!

Also from the fridge, yesterdays lunch..

I ate the LAST Black Bean Burger with a side of Butternut Squash Fries..

After slaving away from 8-5 I headed to a doctors appointment straight from work. Although I'm not actually a Vegetarian or Vegan (I occasionally eat), I eat a mainly Vegan diet and so I'm PROBABLY lacking in the iron department. My Mom's brought this to my attention on nurmerous occasions, but apparently this last time I decided to take her seriously. Fifteenth times the charm.

ANYWAY, the doctor sent me for some bloodwork but said that I should definitely be on an Iron supplement, as well as a prenatal supplement. Apparently any female of child bearing age should be on one since it's the most well rounded multi-vitamin. I can't wait to leave a bottle of these lying around the house without explanation. The doctor went on to say that a lack of Iron can cause stress, loss of hair and PALE SKIN.

You know who's not lacking iron?

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However, she might want to see the doctor for other reasons.

Okay so, no Iron = pale skin, thin hair and stress...

"So what you're trying to say is, Iron makes you pretty?"

"And nice?"

Pass me some Iron.

After picking up some new vitamins, cleaning the kitchen and eating supper, I spent the rest of the night watching the season Premiere of Vampire Diaries.

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Ohhh what I'd pay to be in the middle of that sandwich.

Before calling it a night I needed to eat ONE more time. Lately I've been having a banana with almond butter before bed, but last night the new bananas were looking a little too green for my liking. SO I figured it was a good time to force myself into having something NEW, something high protein maybe. The words, "warm protein pudding" sounded appealing so I googled it. That's when I found an exciting new blog to read AND a recipe for Warm Peanut-Pumpkin Protein Pudding. SOLD.

I made it wrong since I didn't have any vanilla protein powder. Well and because I glanced at the recipe, went downstairs for something else and then decided to just make it right then and there. Off memory. SO a 1/4 cup of milk turned into 1/2 a cup. What ya going to do. Lazy gets, what lazy deserves.. runny warm peanut-pumpkin protein pudding. Not bad though, not bad at all.

Happy FRIDAY!!!

Black Bean Burgers and Lies

2011-09-14T08:31:00.002-06:00

A lie is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with intent to deceive others. A LIAR is a person who is lying, who has previously lied, or who tends by nature to lie repeatedly-even when not necessary.

I am liar. Not one of those liar by nature types though, I only lie when necessary. I’d like to think of myself as a white or noble liar. A noble lie is often told to maintain law, order and safety. A white lie is a lie told by a Caucasian person. Did you think I was serious? I hope so. A white lie is a minor lie which could be considered to be harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. A common version of a white lie is to tell only part of the truth.

That’s what I did yesterday. I only told part of the truth. A half lie. See on Sunday when my Man was out of town I made a batch of Peas and Thank You Black Bean Burgers, as well as, a batch of Thai Chickpea Burgers. Now I made these burgers with intention to eat them all myself. However, I have this odd obsession with wanting other people to eat my food and then tell me how good it is. SO I told my Man about the burgers. Actually I sold my Man the burgers. I told him how great they are, how healthy they are, how red meat causes cancer and steals fiancés, etc.. By the time I was finished selling them, as if my livelihood depended on it, he caved. He would eat a BLACK BEAN BURGER.

Shit. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. He can’t try a Black Bean Burger because the Black Bean Burgers are made with chopped mushrooms. My Man HATES mushrooms. Actually, he loathes them. He will NOT eat them and if you try to convince him, “to just try one” or say “you won’t even know they’re in there”, it is sure to escalate into a fight. A FIGHT. If there’s a mushroom in and around, or touching something he will NOT eat it.

I quickly refocused and began to try and sell him the Thai Chickpea Burger. Nope. Apparently chickpeas are too “weird” and he wasn’t “ready” for those. He wanted the Black Bean Burger. The excitement of the fact that he was going to eat something I made and then tell me how good it was (hopefully), AND that it was vegetarian no less, was just too great. Selfishly I decided right then and there, I’d lie.

“So what’s all in the black bean burger?”

“Ohhh black beans, soy sauce, nutritional yeast.. umm.. garlic, oat flour, tahini.. that’s about it really.”

As I stared at the least-mushroom-looking-burger I was cooking I started to panic. What if he sees the mushrooms? What will I say? I can’t say they’re mushrooms. He won’t think that’s funny. He might be mad. What if he sees one mid-burger? That will be a waste. And awkward. This was a bad idea. Whose idea was this?!

Now here’s the thing with lies, once you get caught up in one there’s no turning back. There are only two options. One, you can out yourself. Tell them the truth before it goes too far. Or two, hope that the lie goes undiscovered, in which case, you win. You’re an amazing cook, a burger connoisseur, an innovative chef. I’ll take option two.

One Black Bean Burger coming right up.

He LOVED it. Well those weren’t his exact words. He said, “this is actually really good”. I KNOW he loved it though because he had another one for supper and he NEVER has the same thing for lunch and supper. Even when I try to convince him otherwise, “let’s get pitas again. Come on! Didn’t you like yours?”

I liked mine too.

And guess what? You're in luck because you can find the recipe here. Or maybe i'm lying.

Cookbook Love

2011-09-13T08:21:00.005-06:00

I'm in love with this cookbook.

I really am. I feel like it should be called Vegan Family Cooking for Dummies. There isn't one recipe in the entire cookbook that I don't want to try. Everything looks good and it's probably because the majority of recipes are things that everyone already knows and loves. Burgers? French Toast? Carrot Cake? Spaghetti and "Meatballs"? Pancakes? Sugar Cookies?

Speaking of, remember when I said I was considering trying out all the recipes in the cookbook EXCEPT the desserts? Well I take that back. With my Sister's baby shower coming up this weekend and splurge night/Mel's birthday two weeks later I'm going to have plenty of opportunity to try out the baking.

In fact, I already started this past weekend... Cut Out Sugar Cookies!!

Thank God I'm getting married next year, I think a new mixer might be on the top of my wedding registry. Now don't get me wrong, there's something nostalgic about this ancient, perma-dirty, bent beater, dough tossing mixer, but I swear it's dangerous. It's one cookie recipe away from sending a beater flying.

If it were a car it'd be a 1980 cutlass. I need a kitchenaid. The 2011 porsche of the mixing world.

In pink.

Until then..

Mixers aside. This dough surprisingly came out of THAT mess..

Afterwards, I tossed the vegan sugar cookie dough in the fridge. You'll have to wait until Monday to see the final product. And ALL the other Peas and Thank You baking i've done for the shower. Some aesthetically pleasing, some a little off. I'm a rookie.

SO for lunch yesterday I tried my hand at ANOTHER recipe. Thai Veggie Burgers. If I didn't think there was some sort of copyright law i'd be violating, I would post this recipe and tell you to make it. I can however, tell you to buy the cookbook and make it. Or take a paper and pencil to the bookstore.

The base of this burger is chickpeas. It also called for broccoli slaw and since I didn't use the whole bag I decided to serve it up on the rest of it. I also added a layer of carrot puree, which was also left over from some of the baking. Would I recommend eating it like this? No. Eat it on a bun (or lettuce bun) with a side of butternut squash fries.

Wanna see what I had for Suppa? Okay. If you insist.

Ezekiel Wrap, BBQ Sauce, Mushrooms, Mushroom Veggie Burger (store bought, I was tapped out on the whole "make it yourself" for the day) served with a big'ol side of ranch.

So I still haven't totally come up with ALL the details of my challenge, but part of it is that I'm going to make EVERY recipe out of this cookbook. No matter how long it takes. EVERY one.

What else...

That is all.

Heeeeey

2011-09-09T15:20:00.006-06:00

So summer is basically over and now i've got the post summer itch. What is that? I don't know, I made it up. I made it up for good reason though. I need something to explain this itching for something new. I'm not BORED exactly, but lets just say the never ending dinners out, summer plans, stagettes, BIRTHS, etc.. are over. When I look forward I see, well two weddings, a baby shower and splurge night, but just humour here and pretend I see nothing. SO I need to spice things up a little around here. I need to start cooking again, start trying new recipes, start decorating for fall, START expanding my horizons. That's right. Expand these horizons.

So I figure what better way to expand horizons than to come up with some sort of challenge. I haven't decided exactly what sort of challenge this is going to be since, lets be honest, I'm not sure what I'm ready to commit to here, BUT I have a feeling that it will have something to do with this...

The other night I was browsing around Superstore when I came across one of my favorite blogger's cookbooks. Clearly I had to have it. Mostly because I love the praise I get everytime I make one her cookie recipes or desserts. I like attention.

Anyway, as I perused through the pages of endless dessert, breakfast, lunch and supper recipes I realized something. Ever since I stopped blogging about food my cooking has really gone downhill. Like REALLY downhill. It actually ran downhill and then hid somewhere. I can't remember the last time I followed a recipe for anything other than cookies. I kind of miss the excitement of trying new things. However, I also have to take into account that part of the fun of trying new things was sharing it on here. Like I said, I like attention. Plus I can't put in work without some kind of reward. This is my reward. Talking about the food and telling the stories.

ALL that being said. There's a challenge somewhere in there and I'm going to find it. Maybe it's making one recipe out the book everyday until it's done. I'm not talking about the desserts though. Let's be real. I don't want to balloon out on this challenge. And I only said MAYBE.

This challenge also needs to involve this..

Because what's a challenge without something physical? A not challenge, that's what.

And lastly, I think it might include this...

No not the dog. The condo castle. You all KNOW I don't clean or decorate well for holidays. Maybe the time has come. It's time for a challenge.

Ready? Break. Be back later with details.

Best Summer Ever

2011-08-31T09:10:00.010-06:00

WHERE to start? I can’t believe tomorrow is September 1st. I feel like the last time I was paying attention to the date was somewhere near the beginning of June. SO much fun stuff has happened.

For starters, my Sister had her BABY!

I signed up at hautelook.com and next thing you know 1000 of my hard earned dollars went missing. Coincidence? Yes, as IF I spent 1000 dollars online shopping.

Just like last year I walked the runway for H&B’s fall launch. There’s also a video I could link here but I don’t think we need to go into THAT much detail.

Took a self portrait hoping to copy the makeup. Possible? Not likely.

August was the month of Showers and Stagette’s...

Lindsay's (SO excited to be one of her Bridesmaids)..

And Carly's...

And Birthdays..

My Man turned 28!!!! (I think)

I made him the BEST Chocolatey Peanut Buttery dessert, which I found HERE. Make. This. NOW. My Man said it might be the best dessert he's ever had. Then he went on to say, "you know what you should do? Print all the recipes you find on blogs and put them in a book." This was that good.

I didn't have any wrapping for his present so I compromised. He liked it.

What else? My hair is still brown. And I don’t know how I feel about. Keep in mind I only put pictures on here that I look good in. There are some questionable facebook pictures where either my brown hair is making me look ugly OR my lack of tan. It's a toss up. UNTAG.

Oh ya and I’ve barely planned or booked one thing for my wedding.

I think you’re up to speed?

Hello?

2011-08-24T16:47:00.001-06:00

I'm coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh hiiiii!

2011-06-01T08:33:00.007-06:00

It's about DAMN time...

Not that I started blogging again, for a SHARK movie. I've only been waiting since 1999 for a new one. That's 12 years. I didn't even realize I was old enough to say I've been waiting for something for 12 years. However, I suppose i've been waiting for boobs for 25.

So last night I spent my evening baking cookies and watching The Real Housewives of New York City. My Man has been in Saskatoon for work and I MISS him (it's only been two days but STILL), so I decided to make him PEANUT BUTTER DOUGH BALLS. It's okay, you can judge me.

Now I was GOING to wait and surprise him with them when he got home but clearly i'm too impatient for that and instead sent him a BBM picture. SO proud I was. So proud.

I didn't want to have to cook them in TWO batches, so instead I squished them all on to one pan. This is exactly the reason why I will never be a really good cook. No patience. No attention to detail. What? There are siamese cookies on that pan? Noooo. They are perfect.

That's a poor use of container space right there.

Today I need to fill out this "2011 Census" that's been sitting on my kitchen table for weeks. I really like the part where it says, "Complete the Census - it's the law." I was going to take my chances with the law until my Dad found I hadn't done it and told me I had to. Seriously though, how are they planning on inforcing that law? What's going to happen to the non-census filler outters? A fine? Jail?

"What are you in here for?"

"I lit my neighbors house on fire. He was in it. You?"

"Didn't fill out the 2011 Census."

Speaking of census i've come to the concensus, well it's not really a concensus since i'm the only participant, BUT this is the ONLY good stevia. The only one. I haven't been able to get my hands on it for a month and after dabbling in other stevias I now know this is the ONLY stevia for me.

Shwarzenegger might want to take a page out of my book and try that line on Maria. "After dabbling in foreign Nannys and having other babies I now KNOW that you and OUR kids are the ONLY one for me."

Before I go here are a few pictures from a girls night out on Saturday..

Like my new purse? Me too.

Chocolate CHIP Cookies

2011-05-17T08:24:00.006-06:00

Morning!!

Sunday, in between going for a walk with me, tanning and taking me for tea, my Sister baked a batch of her famous Chocolate Chip Cookies for my "work birthday". I'm spoiled. These things were definitely the highlight of my Monday. They're just so versatile.

Enjoyed alone...

With coffee..

While hovering right over the bag..

She's the best.

I'll get the recipe ASAP and then you have to make them. If you make them and don't love them I'll give you your time back. That's right. Your time.

So last night my Man and I had a date night. I cooked us supper which I haven't done in FOREVER. I was excited to remind him how good of a cook I am. So while he was at the gym I got busy steaming, grilling, taste tasting, etc.. Since i've never quite mastered the art of timing everything was finished cooking and sitting on the plates 15 minutes before he got home. Enough time to do a little photo shoot.

I have to warn you about these next pictures. Looking at them one after another may make you motion sickness. My photography skills lack symmetry. And talent.

On the menu, COLD sweet potato, chicken skewers, shrimp/scallop skewers, corn on the cob and soggy asparagus. Top chef material for sure.

I tried to keep things fancy by putting the food that didn't fit on my Man's place on a plate in the middle.

Afterwards we watched No Strings Attached. I give this movie FOUR peanut butter covered thumbs up. It was SO cute and funny.

Rent it!

Work hard today folks. Work hard.

.25 cents

2011-05-16T08:34:00.009-06:00

Monday Monday Monday Monday... I figured if I typed Monday enough times I would think of something nice to say about it. Nope. Monday's suck. I googled Monday and here's what I learned about Monday's, "it's the day between Sunday and Tuesday". Mind BLOWING.

So this past weekend I turned 25. If I were money I would be worth a quarter. Or one large bubblegum. Or a handful of reeses pieces depending on how you look at it/spend your money. I'm considering moving to China since I'd be more like 1.68 yuans. Or then I'd at least be one cookie from Cookies By George. More bang for this buck.

My birthday festivities started on Friday when my Grandma took me out for lunch to Moxies, my fav. Then Saturday was my pretend birthday since Sundays can only be so fun. I could barely sleep Friday night. I may be 25 on the outside but I'll forever be 6 on the inside. I woke my Man up like it was Christmas morning at 8 am. We kicked off my bday celebration with a wonderful breakfast together....

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Reese's Puffs. Sooooo fancy. SO perfect.

Afterwards I headed to help one of my girlfriends (and Bridesmaid) register at the Bay for her upcoming wedding and then she treated me to lunch!

The rest of the day was spent with THIS guy..

He took me present shopping.. to Cookies By George (I had 3 by the time we left the mall)... out for dinner... annnnd... then to DQ....

Sunday (my real birthday) I woke up (well, FULL.. for starters) and watched Easy A with my Man. Once the afternoon rolled around I decided to take Bailey for a walk, however, I was missing something rather important. Her leash. After searching the house high and low I decided someone stole it and gave up. Still wanting to take her for a walk I picked her up and headed out. I carried her. I carried her all the way to my sister's house. I took my dog for a carry.

In other news..

I'm currently reading Keith Richards book, Life..

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And loving Bethenny Ever After...

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And Dance Scene..

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Happy day between Sunday and Tuesday!!

MIA

2011-05-13T15:02:00.002-06:00

I've been MIA. It's true.

What have I been doing? I don't know.

Making my wedding avatar..

Which looks nothing like me..

I'll be back on Monday and when I am i'll be 25!!!! Sunday is my quarter century BIRTHDAY. Write that down. I plan on going for as many suppers/lunches as I can this weekend. If i'm not still full Monday morning I'll have failed.

Happy Weekend!!

Taste of Mint Sorbet

2011-05-04T08:27:00.006-06:00

What to talk about? How about the comment that "Gord" left me while I was gone. Gord is passionate about the seals..

"IF you're going to be against something be against it because your educated not because they're cute or you disagree with someone Else's culture the seal population as of today is in no danger The DFO set kill quotas of 270,000 seals in 2007, 275,000 in 2008, 280,000 in 2009, and 330,000 in 2010.[2] The actual kills in recent years have been less than the quotas: 82,800 in 2007, 217,800 in 2008, 72,400 in 2009, and 67,000 in 2010.[3] In 2007, Norway claimed that 29,000 harp seals were killed in its seal hunt, and Russia and Greenland claimed that 5,476 and 90,000 seals were killed in 2007, respectively. Harp seal populations in the northwest Atlantic declined to approximately 2 million in the late 1960s as a result of Canada's annual kill rates that averaged over 291,000 from 1952 to 1970.[4] Conservationists demanded reduced rates of killing and stronger regulations to avert the extinction of the harp seals. In response, in 1971, the Canadian government instituted a quota system, though penalties are not imposed for exceeding the quota. A 2007 population survey conducted by the Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans (DFO) estimated the current population at 5.5 million (95% CI 3.8 million - 7.1 million)."

Who says I have to be educated to be against something? And who says it can't be strictly because they're cute and I feel bad for how and why they're being killed? Gord. That's who. So many rules Gord. So. Many. Rules.

So Saturday night I went to Taste of Spring with a few of my girlfriends. For those of you who don't know, Taste of Spring offers attendees the opportunity to sip, sample and taste some of the best wines, spirits, hard alcohol and food from around the city. True to self I gulped, guzzled and chugged concentrating solely on the booze rather than the food. You can imagine how my night turned out. Don't though.

Here are a few/a billion pictures from Saturday night...

These next two pictures won't do my nail polish justice but I swear to you it's nice. Sally Hansen Hard as Nails Xtreme Wear Nail Colour in Mint Sorbet. Buy it. Paint your nails. If you don't like it? You didn't hear it from me.

CLEARLY I had to use my ring hand. Come on now. I lack both moderation AND shame.

Happy Wednesday!! It is Wednesday, right?

Cabo Wabo

2011-05-03T08:13:00.007-06:00

I'm Back!!

PS

2011-04-20T09:02:00.001-06:00

I wonder how many people will judge me by my beach reads..

Meh they'll probably be accurate.

Bye!

2011-04-20T08:36:00.004-06:00

I leave for Cabo tomorrow morning so i'll be gone for one WHOLE week. Who's sad? No one? Okay.

I can't wait to come back with 100 pictures, a tan and some blurry memories. Adios Amigos!!

Cabo, Cabo, Cabo

2011-04-18T08:32:00.007-06:00

That's THREE Cabos for THREE more sleeps till I'm there!!

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Now I wish I had a bunch of crazy funny stories I could tell you from my weekend, but I don't. I DID go to ride twice, hung out with the two babes I mentioned on Friday and spent lots of time with...

My homeless looking friend..

Quit eating your house.

Yesterday I tried to rent Sharkwater on the TV, but didn't have any luck. Sasktel sent out a new remote control and updated all their services and guides, meaning they made everything confusing and screwed me out of a Sunday matinee. I know this movie is supposed to debunk shark stereotypes and media depictions of sharks, but I was really using it to scare myself right before Cabo. Just because they didn't eat you Rob Stewart doesn't mean they don't eat people, it means you don't look like you taste good. Or they were full.

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Speaking of shark poachers. Okay I didn't mention shark poachers, but they ARE mentioned in this movie. I need to talk about the seal slaughter that is currently going on in Canada. LIKE we Canadians need ANOTHER reason to be embarrassed.. Bad movies, mediocre shopping, Howie Mandel, Jean Chretien, the amount of things we borrow/import from other Countries. All I can say is thank GAWD for Bieber. ANYWAY, this next thing TOPS the list. Actually it's more than embarrassing, it's horrific. Think the movie The Cove but replace the dolphins with seals and the Japanese for Canadians. Go to Canada's shame, click "act", sign the letter and knock something off the list of Canada's embarrassments. Please Please PLEASE.

Help save these little guys..

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If you have twitter re-tweet my seal tweet or add Peta and retweet one of theirs. Or if you have a blog, post the link. Make this Monday count!!

Happy Monday!!!

Scream 4

2011-04-15T08:22:00.008-06:00

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!! Guess what comes out?!?

Scream bijillion!!! I mean 4..

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All those exclamation marks are deceiving since I don't really care that it came out today, however, I do want to. It reminds me of highschool (since that's when I watched the rest of them) and I'll do anything to re-live those glory days. Anything. Like sell my Man's phone. Going once.. going twice..

Speaking of movies I still haven't seen Paul...

Who can say no to this??

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Everyone.

What else do I know? Last night I went for suppa with THESE two babes..

They both gave my brown hair the stamp of approval.

So today would technically be day 19 of the Crazy Sexy Diet Cleanse and so I figure I should probably talk about it.

Over the past week I haven't been answering the daily questions or abstaining from ALL of the foods the cleanse recommends. Last night I had a glass of wine and some chicken. Yup, some chicken. I feel like I dropped the word cleanse as I realized I'd already gotten lots out of it. I've already formed some healthy habits that are more than a cleanse but a lifestyle. I start my day with lemon water, I kicked my morning cup of coffee for tea, I drink my green drink at least twice a day and LOVE it, I eat a semi-raw lunch and I steam all my veggies. Clearly I can't give up sugar, alcohol and wheat forever but now these aren't everyday foods but more so whenever-I-feel-like-it foods, which I tend to feel like come Friday.

All in all, I'd say this book is DEFINITELY worth reading. Do you need to do the cleanse? No, but you can do the things that work for you. A little here and a little there is better than nothing. If there's a habit you can kick, kick it. If you can't give up your Earls and Moxies chicken Quesadilla's, don't. If you can stop eating meat everywhere but those two restaurants, do it. If you can't stop eating 3 hours before bed, don't. If people think you're a walking contradiction, who cares?

Happy Friday!!!!!!

Beauty Food

2011-04-14T08:27:00.007-06:00

I bought another book last night. I know what you're thinking, how many health books do you NEED? Apparently a lot. I've been reading Kimberly Snyder's blog for a while now so when her book finally came out this week I just couldn't help myself. She definitely has a similar approach to health as Crazy Sexy Diet concept, however, there are a few minor differences. The reason I wanted this book was just to see what sorts of foods to eat for certain beauty benefits. Tell me what to eat to get long lucious hair. NOW. Thanks.

If I read anything worth repeating, i'll repeat it. Your welcome.

Next up I want to talk about Coconut Oil and the fact that I FINALLY bought some. Considering it's over 10 dollars a jar (usually at least 15) I could never commit to buying it. I'd put it in my basket, walk around a bit and then inevitably put it back. And by put it back I mean set it on the nearest shelf. Coconut Oil in the Cereal section? Why not. Frozen foods? Sure. JUST kidding I never put it in the freezer. Only the fridge.

As appy before supper yesterday I put it on a turnip. Or is it a rutabaga? THAT is the question.

It looked like this before I cut it up...

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I believe there was a time when I was eating certain "fries" and calling them "rutabaga fries". It would appear as though they were actually TURNIP fries. Why didn't anyone tell me?! It wouldn't be the first the time I've looked stupid. I embrace it.

Anyway, last night before settling in for supper and the latest episode of The Real Housewives of OC I did a quick Yoga Meltdown session. It was quick because I fast forwarded through the parts I didn't feel like doing. In these next set of photos I'm trying to do THIS position with my arms extended forward as per Jillian's instructions..

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However, I should get extra points and extra abs for having to deal with THIS while doing it..

If anyone wants to borrow her for your next work out, let me know. She'll work for vegetables. For real. Or dirt. Or dust. She'll eat anything.

FOOD

2011-04-12T15:52:00.006-06:00

I’ve continued to eat fairly cleanse friendly since I spoke about food last, however, I’ve become a little more lenient. Like…

This cereal has sugar BUT it IS gluten free…

I don’t know these are made of (or the pop chips I also ate) EXACTLY but they ARE down the organic/healthy aisle…

Annnnd the name sounds guilty, “wheat squares” but.. I got nothing, I just ate’em.. And they were good..

Yesterday though, I enjoyed a lot of my current cleanse friendly FAVS...

Socca

My personal version of a Green Drink

1 Cup of Unsweetened Almond Milk, Cinnamon, as much Spinach as you can stuff in the blender and TONS of French Vanilla Stevia. I could drink these all day long. As long as I can eat ALL my real food too.

Starbucks REFRESH Tea..

So let me tell you something, or don’t let me, it doesn’t matter because I’m going to tell you anyway. I was just humoring you. So I’ve been STRESSING about my dresses/clothes (or lack thereof) for Cabo for the past mmm month. Yup, a solid month I’d say. I’ve been all like, “I have NOTHING to wear. WHAT am I going to wear? No I can’t wear that short tight black dress to a BEACH wedding.” Follow, giant eye roll and long icy stare at my Man. When it comes to dresses my motto has always been short and tight or slightly baggy and REALLY short. There’s no middle ground here. There’s no just above the knee or mid-thigh dresses in my closet. If there was I’ve shortened them by now. My dresses are above the entire leg or just below the butt cheek.

Okay, so now that I’ve painted you a picture I need you to look at this picture for second. If you’re seeing a scandalous hooker I need you to re-paint it. I follow the one body part rule, legs or boobs, therefore I am still classy. Leggy, but classy. Moving on..

Class or no class beach weddings call for flow-y beach-y colorful dresses. Fancy but not too fancy. Can you see why I’ve got my panties in a twist. Where am I supposed to find a flow-y beach-y colorful fancy-ish dress that’s not too short and looks good with brown hair? Since the shopping in this city sucks, I turned to the internet. I actually went so far as to call a store in Edmonton (Aritzia) and ask if they could ship me two dresses I saw on the internet (they will).

While my dresses were in the mail I prowled the malls here in search of a back up. NOTHING. My eggs were all in one basket. One basket riding in the back of a Canada Post truck.

Welp, Monday they arrived. I got the package on the way back to work from lunch and couldn’t wait to tear into the moment I got back to the office. Won, won, wooooon. Fugly.

Well one was fugly, unfortunately I sent it back too quickly to snap a pic, and the other one was well not great. For one I ordered it before I knew I was going to have brown hair instead of bright blonde and two, I didn’t LOVE where the straps were located (too far towards the spot where, if you have some, cleavage is supposed to reside). Anyway, that one is on the top of the pile in the above picture. The rest are dresses I already own.

URGH. I was frustrated, panicking, cursing my brown hair. There was only ONE thing and ONE thing only that could make it all better with the twist of a cap.

You thought that was going to be a beer, didn't you? I enhaled the fizz like it was smoke from a cigarette. Ahhhhhhh.

Side Note: Later that night I went home and tried on all the dresses I currently own. Turns out I have lots. And I like them. My Man was right. Don't tell him.

Other than all of that, work was work was work. Thank god for my assistant. She gets the little chair, I get the big one. Hierarchy. Behind her and to your right you'll find the cardboard I use to hold her captive when she's slacking off. Or typing too slow..

Happy Wednesday!!

Maid of Honor

2011-04-12T09:11:00.004-06:00

Today I'm sharing with YOU my Maid of Honor Speech. Remember when I told you guys I was going to do "Wedding Wednesdays" and only did it once? Ya, me too. Anyway, it's Tuesday and I decided to post this for no apparent reason. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this, but I LOVE public speaking. Or I guess a more accurate statement would be I love telling my own stories in public or to anyone who will listen. Enter this blog.

Enter this speech..

So I figured I would just have to picture you all in way that would make me feel more comfortable. So now that I have you all drunk and naked I realize I actually should have had final say over the seating chart too. Does anybody want to switch tables with the devils?

For those of you here that have not had the pleasure of watching Kristin make a decision, I’ll start by painting you a little picture. One evening at Silver’s we thought we’d finish up awith a quick dessert. However, after 15 minutes of deliberation, 2 visits from the waitress and 6 very annoyed family members, okay 1 very annoyed family member, she finally decided on nothing. This is a typical occurrence with Kristin, always indecisive. I can tell you one thing for sure though and that is that is that saying yes to Rae was probably the easiest and quickest decision of her life.

Growing up Kristin and I were very different, and by very different I mean polar opposite. I very clearly remember the house being like a war zone from 3:30 until 5:00 o’clock Monday through Friday. See this was the hour and a half between the time we would get home from school and the time mom and dad would get home from work. This was also the hour and half Kristin took on the self-appointed role of the boss. (in which Kristin appointed herself the boss). We could have charged people admission to watch the kind of stuff that went on. The most suspenseful part about these fights were that they ended in a race to the phone to see who could pick it up, dial and spit out their side of the story the fastest. And if Teresa was really lucky that day we’d each run to separate phones and yell out our stories at the same time. The key to that one was being the loudest. Now deep down I knew it really didn’t matter how fast I ran or how loud I yelled because Kristin’s story always pulled more weight. She was the “good” child. Unlike most people Kristin was actually born honest, loyal and with the intelligence and maturity of level of a 45 year old.

I’d play house with her under the impression that we’d both be moms, have tea parties, do fake dishes, you know she’d wash I’d dry kind of thing. However, I always had another thing coming. Kristin was the boss, owner and manager of the fisher price house and there was only allowed to be one mother. Remember this was back in the early 90’s. Now you could probably have three. Whether I liked it or not, all the cabbage dolls and I would spend the afternoon following Kristin’s directions and orders. Next thing you know I’d find myself sitting alone in the furnace room because apparently I was attending school for an hour.

We also shared a bathroom, I know what you’re all thinking, Teresa and Dale must have been suckers for punishment. They were. See Kristin has always been very conservative, she likes her privacy, she’s clean and very organized. I am none of these things. When it came to the bathroom Kristin’s rule was simple, as long as she was in the bathroom first we could not be in there at the same time. However, if I was in the bathroom first she’d make an exception. This normally led to lots of fights and it didn’t take long before we both realized that if the other one was in there and the door was locked, all you had to do was line yourself up just right, and smash your body against the door. Like I said suckers for punishment. Anyone here, who knows my dad, knows he can fix anything. I haven’t tried it lately but I’m pretty sure that door still doesn’t lock properly. Those of you staying at my parents house might want to remember that.

The bathroom fights weren’t actually confined to the area inside those four walls. I remember in high school I’d be over Kim’s house hanging out and I’d get a call from Kristin. Let me point out at this was before I had a cell phone, she’d actual call Kim’s house line. So I’d get on there..

“Hello?”

“Where is my eye shadow brush?”

“What eye shadow brush?”

“The green one, top drawer, second from the right next to my blue eye shadow. I know you have it”.

“I do not!” click. “Kim uhh pass me that green eye shadow brush..”

We’ve gone from sharing a bathroom to an office and from enemies to friends. We still may not see eye to eye on some things, okay most things but I’ve come to appreciate her views. All the qualities I once despised, the one’s that made her the “good” child, I now admire and aspire to. She is the most caring person I know, she is beautiful and she has an unreal sense of humor, the dry sarcastic kind that’s always entertaining. On top of all of that Rae really hit the jackpot cause she can cook. You better be careful Rae because now you eat all that baking and it’s just gone, but I heard guys don’t get their Man body until their like 29. Come 28 and that stuff will start hang around and muffin top will refer to more than just the actual tops of Muffins.

I always wondered what kind of guy Kristin would end up with. Bree, Taylor and I actually spent many nights in Mexico pondering this. I thought it would have to be this perfect Man, like the kind that came in a box with a dog named skipper and a framed picture of his mother. Someone organized, athletic, tall, funny, clean, punctual, polite, clean. But I was wrong. He’s not punctual. And his dogs name was Shillow. Kristin I couldn’t be happier for you, you’ve actually managed to find someone as nice and as genuine as you. See normally in a relationship there’s a giver and a taker. However, some one screwed up with this one because they’re both givers. Figure that one out, two indecisive givers. “Ummm you can have the last bite of sandwich, nooo you can, no really you have it” “Uhh Can you guys go do that in Rae’s office”.

Now in most of the speeches I’ve heard, all three of them, the maid of honor or best man will end it with the whole “this is the last time you have the upper hand” joke, but Rae never had it to begin with, so that’s not funny. So I figured I’ll just offer some final advice. And that is, that I advise you, Kristin, to talk to Grandma. Because the only person that I know who moves slower than Rae is my 75 year old grandpa, Bud. And those two have been together for 50 some years. So she’s got to have a secret.

Congratulations you two. Please raise your glasses. Here’s to my big sister, the boss, the beautiful bride.

Happy Tuesday!!!

Brunette Status

2011-04-11T09:08:00.003-06:00

I dyed my hair brown.

And then I went home and did the LAST thing anyone in this situation should do. I watched the Real Housewives of OC.

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And questioned whether I had just coloured away any good looks that I had.

Now I'll tell you the difference between going brown and going blonde. When you walk out of the salon with highlights pretty much everyone will say, "Oh my GOD, I LOVE your hair. Looks SO good." Either that or you were already blonde and no one notices(what a waste, if not for attention than WHY would I have even done it?!?).

Now when you walk into the salon a blonde and walk out a brunette everyone's reactions are varying versions of, "Hmm.. It's brown." Is it? Well thank you for clarifying that Einstein. NOW I can sleep at night.

If they don't state the obvious they'll typically ask you stupid questions like, "is that your natural colour?" or "why did you decide to do that?" Why did I do it? Well actually I saw a German Shepherd walk by the other day and thought to myself, I want hair like him. WHAT does it matter WHY I did it?! Just tell me it's nice gawd damn it.

I've also heard, "it matches your eyebrows." Cool. And "do YOU like it?" What do you mean do I like it? Is this where if I say "yes I like it" than you'll say you like it and if I don't like it than you can be honest?

Dying your hair brown is like buying that dress that's just a little too tight. You know, like when you go shopping with a couple of friends who are close but not close enough to tell you something's giving you love handles in the back. You walk out of the change room and everyone just silently smiles and nods. You completely forget that this is a red flag and if it were really nice they would be telling you how amazing it is. So you buy it. You wear it. Meanwhile behind your back everyone's saying the size up was better.

Either way, I like this dress. I think.

Power of Pink

2011-04-08T08:26:00.008-06:00

Thank GAWD it's Friday. The Power of Pink fashion marathon, I mean show, last night ruined me. I'm TIRED today. So for your viewing pleasure here are all of the pictures I took. Please keep in mind that..

1) I am fully aware of my horrific roots. I'm holding out till RIGHT before Cabo. Then i'll be a brunette. And smarter.

2) Most of the pictures include one my good gf's Kel. LOVE when we get to do shows together.

3) Some pictures are scary. And...

4) I have no shame. Obviously.

Oh and 5) I wore my bombshell bra.

Happy Friday!!!