Abstract: Trust, as a noun, is the skeleton of human societies. But when faced with a stranger, how do we react? Should we trust until proven untrustworthy or distrust until proven trustworthy? Rationalists like Descartes advocate for distrust until evidence suggests otherwise, while existentialists like Kierkegaard see trust as a necessary vulnerability for authentic relationships. We turn to Nweh mythology to solve this dilemma, particularly the concept of “echuo ge” (friendship). In the Nweh concept of “echuo ge”, the Prisoner’s Dilemma, presented by Poundstone crumbles as the Faustian bargain loses its saltiness. The question of whether we can trust a stranger is reduced to whether we can trust ourselves.

“I will be going to Muyuka for the Christmas holidays,” I told him. “My take off to Gabon is on the 28th of December, can I stay at your place while you are gone?” he requested. “Of course,” I said. Two weeks later, on coming back to Yaoundé, I saw that my belongings were missing, including my cooking gas and the bottle. I was shocked. The high school classmate I lent a hand to, made a fool of my generosity. Should I have trusted him?

The word ‘trust’ comes from the Old Norse ‘traust’ meaning ‘confidence’, ‘security’ or “to rely on.” The core meaning of ‘trust’ is therefore associated with a sense of security and reliance, a belief that something or someone will act in a predictable and dependable manner. The linguistic evolution reflects an enduring theme: trust as a bond or a guarantee, both emotional and practical, that bridges gaps of uncertainty and facilitates collaboration.

“Andrew, we are celebrating a surprise birthday for my girlfriend at Lisieux. I would love for you to be present.” That sounds great, but do you have a place where I can sleep? “Yes, I have discussed with my neighbour, they are going to host you for the weekend.” Great, it is a deal then. Sunday morning after the birthday, I went for my sports as usual, and then we attended mass. My train back to Paris was the next day. I had a meeting that Sunday afternoon. I asked my host if I could work in their apartment as they were going out. I needed time to prepare for my meeting. In any case, they are going to meet me in the house when they come back. My host refused. I did not get it explicitly as I kept insisting. It was a friend who made it evident to me: “ils ne veulent pas que tu restes seul dans leurs appartement quand il ne sont pas là, tu ne comprends pas quoi?” I was surprised. Is it because I am a stranger? Black?

The word “stranger” originates from the Latin word “extraneus,” meaning “external” or “foreign.” This linguistic origin highlights the inherent challenges in building trust with those who are “external” to one’s established social or cultural circles. Perceived as “outsiders” who may not share our values, beliefs, or customs. This “otherness” can naturally evoke feelings of caution or even suspicion, as we lack the familiarity and shared experiences that typically underpin trust within social groups.

These two experiences, one of betrayal by a close “friend” and another of unexpected exclusion by a host, highlight the complexities of trust in human interactions. The question of whether one should trust strangers until proven untrustworthy or mistrust them until proven trustworthy is a fundamental dilemma in human interactions. Maybe the real question is: who is a stranger?

The Paradox of Trust: A Navigational Dilemma

Trust is a cornerstone of human relationships, social cohesion, and societal functioning. Yet, the question of how to approach trust with strangers — whether to trust until proven untrustworthy or distrust until proven trustworthy — remains a deeply contested issue.

The approach of trusting strangers until they prove themselves untrustworthy is rooted in optimism and a belief in the inherent goodness of people. Philosophically, this perspective aligns with thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who argued that humans are naturally good and that society corrupts this innate goodness. Kierkegaard argues that trust involves a leap of faith and an acceptance of vulnerability, advocating for trusting until betrayed. Psychologically, this approach resonates with individuals who have secure attachment styles, as identified in attachment theory. Securely attached individuals, having experienced reliable caregiving in their formative years, are more likely to extend trust to others. This openness facilitates positive social interactions and strengthens communal bonds.

Sociologically, the “trust until proven untrustworthy” approach is supported by social capital theory. Robert Putnam, for instance, emphasizes that trust is a key component of social capital, enabling collective action and reducing transaction costs. In high-trust societies, such as those in Scandinavia, this approach has been shown to enhance economic efficiency and civic engagement. However, this approach is not without its critiques. Rationalists might argue that blind trust is irrational, as it ignores the potential for exploitation or harm. Game theory demonstrates that in competitive or uncertain environments, trusting without evidence can lead to suboptimal outcomes. Moreover, critical theorists highlight that marginalized groups may have legitimate reasons to distrust strangers due to historical and systemic injustices, making this approach less universally applicable.

The alternative approach — distrusting strangers until they prove themselves trustworthy — is grounded in caution and self-protection. Philosophically, this perspective aligns with thinkers like Thomas Hobbes, who viewed human nature as inherently self-interested and prone to conflict. From this viewpoint, distrust is a rational response to the potential for betrayal or harm. Rationalist thinkers, such as Descartes, advocate scepticism, suggesting mistrust until evidence supports trustworthiness. Psychologically, this approach is often adopted by individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as those who are anxious or avoidant. These individuals, having experienced unreliable caregiving or betrayal in their past, may find it difficult to extend trust to strangers. While this cautious stance can protect against harm, it may also hinder the formation of meaningful relationships.

Economically, the “distrust until proven trustworthy” approach is supported by transaction cost economics. Oliver Williamson argues that trust reduces the need for monitoring and enforcement, but in the absence of trust, individuals must rely on formal mechanisms, such as contracts, to ensure cooperation. This approach is particularly relevant in low-trust societies or in high-stakes situations where the cost of betrayal is significant. Critics of this approach argue that excessive distrust can lead to social fragmentation and missed opportunities for collaboration. Pragmatists, such as John Dewey, might contend that distrust undermines the functional role of trust in facilitating social harmony and collective action. Existentialists, like Søren Kierkegaard, might further argue that distrust isolates individuals and prevents them from embracing the vulnerability necessary for authentic relationships.

Cognitive models of trust emphasize evidence-based decision-making. People assess strangers’ actions, body language, and situational context to infer trustworthiness. For instance, it might have been enough for my host to infer about me from our common friend as it might have been enough for me to learn about my high school classmate from someone closer to him. Interpersonal trust theory posits that trust is dynamic and evolves through interaction. Starting with small acts of trust and gradually increasing reliance. In this contemporary context of globalisation, trust is increasingly shaped by technology as seen on Airbnb and Amazon which rely heavily on ratings and reviews to establish trust between strangers. A “trust but verify” framework. At World like Home, we have developed a trust framework based on the Nweh mythology of friendship.

The Nweh mythology

In the land of the Nweh, Esians (Eshuo ge) are two best friends whose bond (echuo) is stronger than blood. This relationship, consensual, is based on mutual and unshakeable trust. An Esian would never use a magic potion against his eshuo ge, although he would not hesitate to do so against a member of his own family. As one Nweh woman puts it: ‘I could allow my eshuo ge to sleep on the same bed as my husband,’ underlining the fact that a friend could never betray another by seducing her spouse. When a man sets off on a long journey, he usually leaves his wife and possessions in the care of his eshuo ge, demonstrating this sacred trust. A man has complete freedom on his friend’s property and receives generous hospitality when he visits.

Esian (friendship) increases opportunities outside the realms of kinship without degrading individuals in a business-client relationship. An Esian also offers valuable emotional outlets that are not generally found within the family framework. This friendship is symbiotic, enriching both parties financially, intellectually, socially, culturally, emotionally, spiritually, and politically. In the land of the Nweh, there is no point in betraying your echuo ge — trust is absolute and sacred.

In his 1993 book Prisoner’s Dilemma, William Poundstone described the game: “Two members of a criminal gang are arrested and imprisoned. Each prisoner is in solitary confinement with no means of speaking to or exchanging messages with the other. The police admit they do not have enough evidence to convict the pair on the principal charge. They plan to sentence both to a year in prison on a lesser charge. Simultaneously, the police offer each prisoner a Faustian bargain (a deal with the Devil). If he testifies against his partner, he will go free while the partner will get three years in prison on the main charge. Oh, yes, there is a catch … If both prisoners testify against each other, both will be sentenced to two years in jail. The prisoners are given a little time to think this over, but in no case may either learn what the other has decided until he has irrevocably made his decision. Each is informed that the other prisoner is being offered the very same deal. Each prisoner is concerned only with his own welfare — with minimizing his own prison sentence.”

The Prisoner’s Dilemma, as presented by Poundstone, hinges on a fundamental lack of trust — an indictment of societies where alliances are fragile, and loyalty is negotiable. Two criminals, isolated and facing a stark choice, are driven by self-preservation. But what if these weren’t just any criminals? What if they were Esians, bound by the sacred echuo of the Nweh people? Suddenly, the carefully constructed dilemma crumbles. The Faustian bargain loses its allure. Betrayal, even for freedom, becomes unthinkable. The echuo bond, stronger than blood, overrides the logic of individual gain. The real intrigue lies not in the choice, but in its absence.

For an Esian, the decision is already made, etched in the very fabric of their relationship. This raises a deeper question: how can a criminal enterprise, built on inherent trust, function with members who are essentially strangers? Perhaps the very existence of such a gang, composed of individuals without this profound connection, is a paradox.

This paradox mirrors a larger unsettling paradox of the world. We live in an age of unprecedented interconnectedness, yet genuine connection feels increasingly elusive. We build vast, complex systems of governance, economics, and social interaction, often relying on the cooperation of individuals who share no deep bonds, no echuo. Like the criminals in the dilemma, we are frequently presented with choices that prioritize individual gain over collective well-being. The gang’s fragile alliance, predicated on the absence of echuo, becomes a microcosm of a global society.

If anything, the Prisoner’s Dilemma highlights a dilemma about self. The criminal gang becomes disconnected from its own identity (code of conduct), a stranger to itself. In the same way, we too become strangers, foreigners to ourselves. So, the real question is not if we can trust strangers, but if we can trust ourselves. In the end, the brother Michael Jackson was right to say that to trust the “other,” you must start with “the man in the mirror.” The question then becomes: how do we cultivate echuo on a larger scale? At World like Home, our answer to that question is embodied in the Nweh Framework.

Efuet Atem | Engineer, Founder World-like-Home.com | Author, Smiling in Hardships.

Note: AI was used for research and proofreading.

In the School of Trust was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Table of content

Part 1: An Unlikely Stampede

Part 2: The ÂME Within You

Part 1: An Unlikely Stampede

In the heart of West Africa, where dreams are as vast as the savannah and ambitions soar higher than the Baobab trees, a nation home to the world’s largest Basilica dared to dream. Their aspiration? To host the Africa Cup of Nations, a dazzling football extravaganza that would catapult them onto the global stage. As the dawn of CAN 2023 approached, the air was electric, and the streets pulsated with the heartbeat of a nation yearning for glory.

But this journey wasn’t a walk in the savanna. The government, committed to showcasing its progress, embarked on a colossal infrastructure overhaul. The Alassane Ouattara Olympic Stadium, a behemoth with 60,000 seats, was a testament to this transformation. But the path to glory was strewn with obstacles. Completing the stadiums was a Herculean task, with the Félix Houphouet-Boigny Stadium lagging at a mere 25% completion rate. But the legendary spirit of Queen Pokou remained unbreakable.

Fast forward to the opening match, where the Elephants thundered onto the field, trampling their opponents, the African wild dogs with a resounding 2–0 victory, asserting their dominance in the jungle of football. A victory that made the Elephant forget that weight is not synonymous with power.

Then came the shocker. The opposing team, the Super Eagles, swooped in like a predator snatching prey. Who saw that coming? To finish the job, National Thunder travelling at the speed of sound covered 2000 km in only 4 seconds and transported the massive remains of Loxodonta Africana into the abyss. The humiliation was televised leaving 25 million Ivoirians with a bitter taste.

The team teetered on the brink of elimination, players drowning their sorrows in tears, mocked by their fans. In the face of adversity, hope seemed like a mirage in the desert, a taboo in the collective consciousness—the pressure-cooked head coach Jean-Louis Gasset, who resigned in a public display of despair. With chances of reaching the knockout stages slim to none, Emerse Faé, his assistant, was thrown into the fire as interim coach. Star striker Sébastien Haller summed it up best: “We were a whisker away from a nightmare.”

Finishing with a measly 3 points and a goal difference that made accountants cry, the shame gnawed at the host nation. Even the national pride from the recent inauguration of the Alassane Dramane Ouattara Bridge couldn’t mask it. Qualification wasn’t in their hands anymore. All they could do was wait, a prayer clinging to their lips, invoking the spirit of Queen Pokou. What would she do?

The ball was no longer in their court. All they could do was wait and pray. They must invoke the spirit of Queen Pokou. Seeking solace in her legendary resilience. What would she have done in such a situation? The prayers of a born again for a miracle as in the days of Moses. They knew that neither the harsh weather nor the fields’ state would be a plausible scapegoat. Like Samory Touré, they must own up to the challenges of the time. Despite this, they must hope in the face of hopelessness. Pray for a miracle — a humiliation accepted in humility.

And it appears prayers are answered after all. Manna rains from the heavens. The sacrifices to Queen Pokou bore fruit! The overflowing river, swollen with heavy rains, miraculously receded — as if the river gods themselves were appeased by the Lions of Atlas, just like Moses and the Red Sea. Emerse’s men squeaked through the gates just before they slammed shut. A CAN of second chances, some might say. A miracle, others declared. But wait, there’s more…

Dubbed “Les Miraculés” by Emerse himself, the team surged forward, defying all expectations. Victory over defending champions Senegal, triumph despite being reduced to ten men against Mali, and tactical brilliance in the semi-finals against the Leopards — all bore witness to their indomitable spirit. Some argue that the spirit of Touré was the 11th player, but who cares?

Sunday, February 11. In the early afternoon, under a blazing sun, fans began to fill the stands. “We’ve got to finish the miracle”, proclaims one of them. The Ivorian press demanded “one last hammer blow”. The Elephants meet up again with the Super Eagles. Who is going to be the prey this time? To survive, the Elephant must become a carnivore. Will history repeat itself? The Eagle must now face another type of Elephant, the Loxodonta Africana, regenerated and confident, whose trials in this tournament made it unbeatable. “We’ve come a long way and we know we’ve got a second chance. It’s up to us not to squander it”, points out Sébastien Haller.

Remember the deafening silence of the opening match? Now, the stadium pulsed with a life of its own. The final against the Super Eagles was a clash of titans. The Elephants, once prey, were now predators, fueled by hope. At the final whistle, the stadium embraces itself in a collective trance. Players and the public move like dervishes. And there are these smiles that light up faces and these tears, in abundance. After 1992 and 2015, Ivory Coast won its third star, on its land. This has not happened since 2006. Humiliated, resurrected, miraculous, then feared. The Elephants’ journey is unreal. The supporters have just promised: “Tomorrow Monday is a public holiday.” From humiliation to triumph, theirs was a journey of Miracles — a tale for the ages.

Part 2: The ÂME Within You

“All man get e own problem” Mom would say. The Ivorian story isn’t just about football; it’s about You. We all face challenges, moments when hope dwindles. But the AME spirit resides within us all. The Elephant’s victory was only possible due to applying what I discussed in Smiling in Hardships. It’s a strategy that brings out the power in our weaknesses, the AME-winning strategy. Correctly applied, the AME Within You can permit anyone to turn their weakness into strength. The last to become the first, the believer to walk on water, the deaf to hear, the blind to see, the dead to rise again and even manners to rain from the heavens.

Acceptance-Miracle-Hope

In French: Acceptation-Miracle-Espérance: âme

In Smiling in Hardships, I argue that the very first step in turning around any situation is acceptance. But true acceptance as epitomised by the Canaanite woman warrants a great deal of humility. To be humble in the humiliation. This applies to a people as it applies to a team or an individual like you and me.

The Elephants realised and accepted that they couldn’t continue with the same team as during the group stages, hence the series of changes that were operated. It’s a miracle in itself for us to collectively accept humiliation.

We might rightly argue that some other teams made similar changes, but their forefathers didn’t listen to them. The question we might ask is: which changes were made? Were they the right changes at the right time? I put it to you that it’s not as evident to align those two: the right changes at the right time. That is why only a miracle can make the cosmos align just at the right spacetime continuum. And maybe that’s where the intercession of Queen Pokou might have made a lot of difference.

Maybe your problem is getting that dream job, maybe it’s getting that funding for that business, maybe it’s getting that visa to continue your studies abroad, maybe it’s getting into that prestigious school, maybe it’s getting that dream man or woman, maybe it’s just being happy, maybe it’s getting rich. Whatever that be, the AME Within You is your best shot. Accept the challenge, true acceptance in humility is a miracle in the making. Make the necessary changes at the right time.

Remember, at times you will make the wrong changes or even the right changes but at the wrong time. For the cosmos to align, you must make the right changes at the right time, and that, my friend warrants hope. The Ivorians kept their hope in Queen Pokou who interceded for the cosmos to align. You too must put your hope in something, and keep moving. If you think you have nothing to put your hope on, then put it on your âme, your soul, because in the end, that’s all you’ve got. And whether you like it or not, your âme was created to win. So, dare to dream, embrace the journey, and never lose sight of the power within you, your âme. And when you want to give up, remember what Brother J will say: “my time has not yet come”. Keep moving.

Efuet Atem

Engineer, Autor, Smiling in Hardships

CAN2023: Côte d’Ivoire’s winning strategy was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

At Le Mans. Wednesday, September 07, 2022.

With Brother Alhissene from the Central African Republic, we went for a drink of friendship at Place de la République. It was after two previous failed attempts due to a lack of convergence on our schedules. Very enriching exchanges. The brother told me in particular about his NGO launched recently, which works on social issues in the Central African Republic. At the heart of the new school year, children's schooling is a priority, then access to healthcare.

It immediately reminded me of the outcry in Senegal after the tragic death of a pregnant woman in the city of Louga. The same thing happened in Cameroon and indeed in other countries.

This is why it is always a pleasure to meet a brother who recognizes, as the scholar Cheikh Anta Diop reminded us, “the only fight that deserves to be fought is the fight for Africa”. Cheikh saw correctly. A prosperous Africa is synonymous with a prosperous world.

But how do we reach this African golden age? An interesting question on which we debated a lot. This SWOT analysis summarizes our exchanges:

Strengths

• A continent of youth,
• Rich in natural resources,
• Diversity.

Weaknesses

• Endemic corruption,
• Tribalism,
• Poor leadership.

Opportunities

• Technology,
• Youthfulness,
• Awareness, education.

Threats

• Clan wars,
• Exploitation,
• The perpetual search for the golden age.

But how do we attain the African golden age? The brother suggests to me that we must educate the population, and raise awareness about the need for us to focus on our Africanity. Intrigued, I then asked him “but what is our Africanity?”

Is our Africanity the dish? Which then would best represent our Africanness? Is it Achu in Cameroon, Afang in Nigeria, Attiéké in the Ivory Coast, Brik in Tunisia, Briouat in Morocco, Chakhchoukha in Algeria or even Biltong in South Africa? In short, the list is long…

During an exchange I had with a South Korean student, she asked me a very interesting question: “By the way, what does French culture represent? is this the kiss?”

Perhaps indeed, above all, French culture is the kiss. If not, what else, the French language? Certainly not since the centre of gravity of the French language has undeniably already slipped towards Kinshasa. The reason why someone had proposed Swahili to represent our Africanness.

To France, her French kiss. To the United Kingdom, her kingdom with its Queen (ok now the King). To China, the Communist Party. To the United States, the American dream (why not the Supreme Court ?). To the European Union, the European Court of Human Rights. To Africa, what? What is our Africanity? The pyramids? But why not dance?

But can we reach the golden age by dancing? How can we dance our way to the African golden age?

The brother tells me that our Africanness is not unique, it can vary from one country to another. But how can we develop a United Africa to reach this African golden age if we cannot agree on the vision, our uniqueness?

In any case, it had already been almost two hours since we had started the exchange. It was time to part ways. So I had the pleasure of signing a copy of my book, Smiling in Hardships, to the brother.

Thanks again brother, we will continue the discussion!

The Report!

But what is our Africanity? was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A few days ago I had the pleasure of signing a copy of Smiling in Hardships to Ulrich Monji. While signing, I couldn’t help but contemplate how the things I wrote in 2019 haven’t really changed in 2022. The difficulties, the supposed solution that gratuitously turns into a problem. Contempt — again and again — perpetual rotation.

In this nightmare we call life, this nightmare of entrepreneurship, I realised that I was right. Yes, I was right. A world without friction is a car without brakes. It’s unimaginable, unthinkable you might say. The artist Tramel, captured the idea of Smiling in Hardships: whatever the circumstance, however witchy it may be, we must always remain optimistic and focused on the objective. In fine, there will always be distractions, witches, but we must not let these distractions distract us from our goal. Let’s remain focused. Below is the artist’s opinion about this masterpiece:

“ The book is strikingly sincere. The words are simple but powerful. The story is atypical and generates various emotions. It is easy to go from laughter to sadness, but very quickly hope resurfaces as the main character always maintains a certain optimism in every circumstance. The analogy with the car is powerful and provides a very interesting thread. Written in two versions, English and French (bilingual author), this work speaks of discrimination, hope, resilience, hard work, pain, happiness, mistakes, family, friendship, community, integration, physics, philosophy, etc…

I urge you to read it”.

Do you want to remain optimistic in every situation? To face the wizard you will need a copy, get it here: smilinginhardships.com

Efuet Atem,
Founder, CEO
World like Home

“Optimism in every circumstance” was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

We note with dismay that after contracting the Coronavirus in 2020, the Cameroonian Students Association of Le Mans, AECM, once one of the most dynamic student associations in France is now brain dead. It was hoped that an effective vaccine would come from the young people still on the benches. But alas, the vaccine proved ineffective. It seems the youth have not been properly trained to produce the right vaccine. Whose fault is that?

Meanwhile, Thierry, Jacques Abeng and I tried to put the association on oxygen in intensive care. Let’s hope that an umpteenth dose will give her normal breathing. Among other things, we remember the association’s mobilisation to welcome new students.

We spoke at length about SendInAfrika (formerly Amazonafrika). A solution that allows the Cameroonian diaspora to buy and deliver directly to their relatives back home. He told me that today they are active in Yaoundé and Douala, but the ambition is Africa “Send to Africa”. I challenged him on his understanding of the notion of “the Market”, and especially how he calculated his market?

Then we talked at length about the difficulties we have experienced with the development of World like Home. I reiterated to Thierry, the same words I penned down in my book, Smiling in Hardships: “We have to admit that the risk is also the fact that we don’t foresee the whole spectrum of possible risks”. Like Mr Corona, intra-exogenous factors are difficult to predict. Hence the affirmation “only the ONE who risks everything can really win” (Chapter 4, Retrospection, Smiling in Hardships).

On Saturday morning before taking the road to Paris, I had the pleasure of signing his copy of the book. Two years earlier, Thierry had already had the pleasure of reading a draft of the book. He had commented: “In this book, this journey that Efuet offers us, I was not indifferent to each path. The end of a path pushed me to know more about the next passage, discover new environments and visualise the scenes of this passage. In the early stages of my current project, I was confronted with the problem of “Pre-Shareholders Agreement”. With this book, the author gives the solution to my insomnia.”

Well, if you too wish to go on this journey with us, you do not want to be indifferent. You want to visualise what we are building with World like Home… you can order your copy of the book here: smilinginhardships.com

Yes, thank me later!

“I was not indifferent” was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I was at the House of Cameroonians in France. A unique opportunity for us, the youth, to learn about baobabs, like Eugène N’Jo Léa.

Before N’Jo Léa, footballers in France and beyond had little to no bargaining power. Always at the beg and call of their club. He is the architect behind the UNFP. He famously declared: « Même les patrons sont organisés ! Oui, tout le monde est organisé, sauf le footballeur professionnel, qui en est malade. » Reminding us about the present battles of the Predator, Francis Ngannou.

The monumental Cheikh Anta Diop was also discussed.

Cheikh reminded us about the need to marry the African cause:

“I think that one must commit oneself, that one must marry the African cause; I have married this cause since I became aware (… ) it is by believing in the future of Africa and by putting ourselves at the service of Africa night and day, constantly and by trying to solve African problems to the extent of our intelligence, lucidity, training… that we can contribute something and be proud of having taken on this task which gives meaning to our life, the only meaning that our life can have today. It is in any case, the meaning that I have given to my life (…) Whatever your degree of intelligence, what is important, is that this intelligence must be put at the service of Africa in a sincere way, in a radical way.”

Before leaving around 7h30 PM, I was happy to sign a few copies of my book “Smiling in Hardships”, to those that wanted to know more about my story and what we are building at World like Home.

Thanks to BlablaCar, I finally reached my dwelling place. I could not help but ponder on the words below from Chinua Achebe.

“When we gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so. […] But I fear for you young people because you do not understand how strong is the bond of kinship. You do not know what it is to speak with one voice. And what is the result? (…) I fear for you; I fear for the clan.”

Thanks to Abdelaziz Mounde for the invitation.

Saturday 12th of February 2022. was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“History has a way of repeating itself,” says G.W. Trompf, in his book The Idea of Historical Recurrence in Western Thought.

February 23rd 1972. The African Cup of Nations kicked off with the host nation Cameroon carrying the day in a 2 to 1 victory against the Harambee Stars of Kenya.

50 years later…

January 9th 2022. CAN 2021 kicked off with the host Indomitable lions carrying the day in a 2 to 1 victory against Les Étalons of Burkina Faso.

During the 1972 CAN, Peter Schnittger and his men came third after haven lost in a 1–0 heart attack defeat to the Red Devils of Congo. And who says the Devil is not powerful? After dominating the indomitable lions, the Red Devils went ahead to win their first and only AFCON, snatching a 3–2 victory from the Eagles of Mali. Fifty years later, the Eagles of Mali are still to recover from the slap of the devil.

Fifty years later, will history repeat itself with the Indomitable Lions?

And talking about history. Three months later, Mr Ahidjo, then President of the Federal Republic of Cameroon maliciously abolished the two-state federation plunging the Cameroons into a political crisis. Fifty years later, the country is still to recover from such a shameful blow!

The Devil is a Liar!

Tracing historical patterns since antiquity, G.W. Trompf argues that if history has lessons to impart, they are found par excellence in their recurrence. Three months after CAN 2021, can Mr Biya learn from history in correcting once and for all the 1972 error?

Or will he continue with his déjà vu?

Time will tell.

CAN 1972 repeat itself? was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

2021 has come to an end. What are your regrets? What are the moments of joy you want to remember this 2022? and the sorrows you want to forget? What are the hopes you have for 2022? As for me, I remember the Christmas concert our choir, the Saint Bakhita choir organised exactly two weeks ago, on the theme: “Saved by Hope”.

Before delving into this musical voyage in fa la la, la la la la, in ding dongs of a time signature in he he ho I will love to pleasure you with Bakhita’s story. In the third and last part of my piece, I have penned down our 2022 wish, giving a few hints on what is cooking at World like Home.

♬♫♬♬♬♫♬

We are in Darfur around 1869. Bakhita is born to a respected and prosperous father. She is surrounded by a loving family of three brothers and three sisters: “I lived a very happy and carefree life, without knowing what suffering was”, she wrote in her autobiography.

At roughly 8 years old, her ‘happy and carefree’ life will be brought to an abrupt end. She was seized by Arab slave traders, who had abducted her elder sister two years earlier. This marked the beginning of her nightmare of servitude. She will be sold and resold several times. A trauma so great she forgot her original name. She was then named Bakhīta (بخيتة) by her masters, meaning ‘lucky’ or ‘fortunate’ in Arabic.

And lucky she was. The young Bakhita will never lose hope. Even in trauma and suffering, she kept on the hope, hoping that she was meant for something bigger. She was later on sold to the Italian vice-consul Callisto Legnani in Khartoum. The consul will bring Bakhita along with him to Italy. In Italy, Bakhita wanted to become a canossian sister. The consul opposed, claiming she was his property.

Even to become a religious sister, she had to fight. As a black woman, she was rejected by many. People challenged the worthiness of her skin colour. But thanks to her faith, determination and courage, she claimed this right in court and won.

She died aged 78, February 8th 1947. Canonised by John Paul II in the year 2000. Her story shows how Love transforms lives in extraordinary ways. In his encyclical Spe Salvi, (Saved in Hope), Benedict XVI presents her as a model of Hope for today’s troubled world.

She knew how to spread love. Devoted to the suffering, to children and the weak, she showed an unparalleled temperament. Throughout her life, she had to demonstrate courage to survive. Despite all the suffering she endured, she never stopped proclaiming forgiveness and love to those around her. She never despaired: “Even in the depths of discouragement and sadness, when I was a slave, I never despaired, because I felt a mysterious strength within me that sustained me. I did not die, because the Good Lord had destined me for “better things”.

For “better things” this 2022, we need Bakhita’s audacity. We need her audacity to Hope for the better. Her audacity to forgive those who treated her with cruelty, her audacity to believe she is destined for better things despite being reduced to servitude, her audacity to hope in the face of despair, her bravery in being the candle in the midst of darkness, her boldness to be a source of Hope even as a slave. Yes, this 2022 we need Bakhita’s audacity to believe, believe that it’s possible despite ALL the odds.

♬♫♬♬♬♫♬

During the Christmas concert in her honour to support Secours Catholique, we interpreted a total of 14 songs, divided into two parts.

4:20 PM. Dressed in black and white with an African touch, the choir danced its way to the stage taking the audience en voyage to Cameroon, as they praised the gods with MIPOK DJIZO, “Rejoice for the Lord’’. The choir reminded the audience that Christmas marks the birth of Hope, with “Il est né le Divin Enfant”, as the crowd was clapping in amazement and content, the choristers poked humility in “Regardez l’humilité de Dieu”. Joy comes to the World through humility. The choir fast away as the old year passes into fa la la la la, la la la la… Hailing the new year with its own fa la la, la la la, la la la, la la la.

As the choir invited the angels with “Les Anges dans nos campagnes”, the need for us to be faithful to each other was made evident in “Peuple fidèle”. Salve Regina, Sister Act was majestically executed telling the audience to hail the Queen, mother of faith, the perfect example of faithfulness.

4:43 PM. A 15 minutes interlude for the choristers to refresh their throats with Cristaline Elena tiled the way for a dialogue about the life of Bakhita staged by Nelly, Lucile, Rose and Kevin. With simplicity, humour and depth, the Quadro succeeded à merveille, in telling the story of Bakhita to the astonishment and blissfulness of the public, who gave them a round of applause for a job well done.

5:00 PM. The second part of the performance will open with an angelic voice from the wilderness rendered with a charming smile from Eva Joyce, as she interpreted “Minuit Chrétien”. Posing in a perfect 4/4 time signature from Jean-Louis, she tells the people to stand up for Hope. Using a pair of claves, François d’Assise improvised a mind-blowing tag tag tag tag tag. As the audience was still contemplating the meaning of Christian midnight, the choristers told them this is the night of God :

“Every night contains its weight of anguish

When the dark covers us with its roof

This night holds back the passing moment

To have time to be happy”

Before the audience was able to give another round of applause, the Sopranos reminded them that Christmas is here as the Tenors and the Altis ding dong to bring good cheers with the Peter de la Cruz transcription of “Carols of the Bells”, Ritz Carlton Abu Dhabi Choir. As if to nudge the audience about Bakhita’s origin, the universality of her Hope, the choir he ha he he ha …he he ho the audience to the Fulani people with “MANTENG ALLAH” as transcribed by Ulrich Monthe.

As the concert came close to the end, the sopranos led by Eva Dedé opened with “C’est Noël tous les jours” posing on a 4/4 tempo from the notes of Serge-Eric and Jean-Louis. Castigating the somnolent that Christmas is every day when we put a smile on somebody’s face. Soprano Eva Dedé like a rooster crowing in the morning, with a voice that pierces the darkness, magnanimously ushered in “Psaume de la création’’ in a 6/8 time signature. Come and see how the trios of tenor and bass struggled to catch up with her in a semi-perfect harmonious O — — — — h O — -h marathon.

5:25 PM. The bass duo opened the last performance in E a djambiè, urging the tenor trio to yéléle, yéléle a iyo which triggered the alto trio to iyo o , eh yélé. The soprano trio wouldn’t be left out for any reason so maestro Irene commanded them to join the game with E djambiè, djambi nguena midja, mevina djambiè na mio oh oh.

The audience was overwhelmingly satisfied. They complained of the length, too short, demanding more musical voyage to Bakhita’s homeland. More than 90% of the audience gave a 5/5 for the performance! A job well done I must say!

5:30 PM. A time to appreciate and thank those that participated in making this year’s edition of the concert a success. I will then make way for open creativity in potpourri.

♬♫♬♬♬♫♬

12 months since Smiling in Hardships was published. In this passionate 288 page opus, I took delight in connecting Bakhita’s story to the everyday friction we have at World like Home, striving to create a better world for us all. We have made her audacity our own, the audacity to believe in “better things”.

Our World like Home community is already among the first 5 organic sites when it comes to information to study in France. We reached an all-time high in November 2021 with 20 000 clicks on Google Search. We still face many challenges, but 2022 looks promising as we put on the armour of Bakhita with newfound determination.

Our wish this new year is that more people in the community are going to participate, especially in answering questions. In that light, a special appreciation to Nano and Saidou for spending their precious time answering questions from students. It’s only together that we can build a robust and vibrant community for students by students. Let’s hope more and more people participate this 2022.

Meanwhile, my team has been working relentlessly to bring our dream of a world like Home closer to reality. God willing we are going to launch a big product this 2022, as we chart the way for a better world. We want to make studying in France as easy as leaving from Le Mans to Paris in a TGV. Above ALL, we want you to be able to feel at home wherever you find yourself. It takes audacity to say it’s possible given the challenges.

I don’t know what your 2022 new year’s wish is, but I want to encourage you to have the audacity of Bakhita in whatever you do. Enjoy our performance on YouTube. Don’t hesitate to share and comment.

Happy new year dear friend, may 2022 bring you the joy, courage and determination of Bakhita!

Efuet Atem

CEO Founder,

World like Home.

Author Smiling in Hardships

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2022. Learn from Bakhita’s Audacity was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This Sunday’s column is a bit special, as it will be as much about entrepreneurship as about literature. I can easily understand if the lesser fans of the genre among you pass by.

At the end of this summer, I read Smiling in Hardships, written by Efuet, an entrepreneur in France. It’s a beautiful, heartfelt and real account of the failures and issues Efuet faced when starting his business in France.

As I said in a message to the author, this book came into my life at the best of times. I won’t go into the details, because that’s not the theme of this publication, but a few days ago I closed my first business to concentrate on other projects.

In his book, Efuet explains the mistakes he made as a young entrepreneur in France. Boy, did that make me feel good! I made those mistakes too. Between bad investments, bad entourage, focusing on what is not our core business and lack of knowledge in various aspects, reading his testimony, I simply rewound my story.

Through writing, Efuet learns from his mistakes. This is beautiful because it is not easy when we undertake something to see and understand what we are not doing right. We often have our heads in the sand, we don’t count the hours we spend working, and we don’t always see that we are losing sight of our goal.

The authenticity with which the author writes impressed me. In France, failure is seen as a dirty disease that nobody should ever catch. This is a stupid idea, often imposed by a biased school education that trains executors and not creators. It flies in the face of what America can promote as a nation in which every attempt, successful or not, is celebrated.

Never hesitate to try, no matter what the field. And if you fall, you will get back up stronger and more honest.

Stéphanie

Chroniqueuse de 📚 et buveuse de🍸

“In France failure is seen as a dirty disease that nobody should ever catch!” was originally published in Smiling in Hardships on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.