Mel Gibson talks to the hand.

Variety reports that Mel Gibson is set to star in “Beaver,” a film about a depressed man who finds solace in a beaver hand puppet he wears and talks to. Jodie Foster will direct and co-star as Gibson’s character’s wife.

This will be a reunion for the duo, who co-starred in “Maverick” in 1994. Foster signed on first to direct “Beaver,” and then brought it to Gibson. Steve Carell and Jay Roach were one of the other actor/director pairs rumored to be assocated with the highly-touted script.

“Beaver” topped last year’s Black List, the list by studio readers of the best non-produced scripts (”Beaver” sounds similar to another highly-ranked Black List script, “Lars and the Real Girl” and what this says about the collective psyche of studio readers is for greater minds than mine to determine). The producers are aiming for a September shoot. Better hurry before the talented–but extremely choosy–Foster gets scared off!

Wayne’s World went from being a Saturday Night Live sketch to a movie, as did Coneheads, although that wasn’t quite as successful. And now it looks as though MacGruber, a recurring SNL sketch which unsurprisingly spoofs MacGyver, is also heading for the big screen.

The MacGruber sketches see Will Forte playing MacGyver’s son who, along with his assistant played by Kristen Wiig and the guest star of the week, always find themselves in a locked room with a ticking bomb about to explode. Rather than disarm the bomb, MacGruber invariably gets sidetracked by his own personal issues and ends up getting blown to bits.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jorma Taccone and Lorne Michaels will now be bringing the character to the big screen. Forte and Wiig will reprise their roles, while Ryan Phillipe and Val Kilmer are also being lined up to appear. The movie is being fast tracked and could appear before the MacGyver movie currently being prepped at New Line.

Turning a quick and simple sketch into a full-length feature is a hard job, and is rarely successfully pulled off. The script is already written, with Michaels, Taccone, and Forte contributing to it. The MacGruber movie will see MacGruber pulled out of retirement as a monk to serve his country one last time.

This could either be brilliant or rubbish and it’s too early to tell which it’s likely to be at the moment. The skits are very funny but can the one-dimensional characters be fleshed out enough to make a movie worth seeing? Wayne and Garth managed, so maybe MacGruber can too.

Baywatch was one of the most important television series of the 1990s. And it was very 1990s, running from 1989 to 2001. It was a seminal show not because of any great storylines, acting, or anything actually good, but because it gave pubescent boys a gentle introduction to breasts and the fact that the female form is much more beautiful than the male form. Example: David Hasselhoff vs. Yasmine Bleeth.

I don’t mean to denigrate the show or its legion of (one or two) fans but it wasn’t the best show on TV was it. However, it’s been deemed good enough to be worth turning into a movie, with Paramount Pictures currently preparing to take the lifeguards from the small to the big screen.

But the show is being changed in the process. It was always a lighthearted drama which knew what it was and therefore didn’t take itself too seriously. Now, under the guidance of newly-appointed writer/director Jeremy Garelick, Baywatch the movie is being turned into a comedy.

Garelick told Variety:

“It felt like the template to do a movie that was similar to ‘Stripes’ and ‘Police Academy,’ the comedies I loved growing up. Rather than trying to pitch the tone, I figured it would be easier to write the first act to convey who these characters were.”

After writing 37 pages of script, Garelick was given the job. Although this will be his first directing gig, Garelick has a good pedigree of screen-writing successes, including The Break-Up, which managed to make both Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn look good. The man is clearly a miracle worker.

The new comedy Baywatch will see a couple of unlikely rookie lifeguards attempting to keep up with the more buff and beautiful bods which the series is better known for. I wasn’t keen on the idea of a Baywatch movie but I’m now much more interested than I was. Just one question: Is there a place for The Hoff?

Michael Jackson’s dermatologist, Arnold Klein said recently that he’s not the father of Michael’s three children, Prince Michael, Paris, and Prince Michael II. Actually, he said that he was pretty sure he isn’t the father. He said, “I think to the best of my knowledge I am not the father.”

After that not so shocking statement, he has just revealed today that he has donated his sperm to a local sperm facility. He added that he “once donated sperm” but “it’s no one’s business.”

I hope Michael’s three beautiful children don’t belong to this toad. He was also on the short list for doctors who prescribed tons of medications to Michael. He just seems like a douche.

I aint buying this garbage for one second. Heidi Montag-Pratt wants to further her own celebrity by unleashing some craptastic workout videos on us. It’s not fair, I tell ya.

I would be interested to see if they can get rich off of actual tangible items and not just Taco Bell photo ops, so we’ll have to see on that one.

She already sings (poorly), acts (even worse), and does everything else to annoy you, so why not invade the realm of workout videos? They’ve gotta cover all of their bases, right?

She’s planning to share her lipo workout secrets in her new video, “The Heidi Workout”.

She says, “Staying fit is something I’m really passionate about. I work out with a strength-and-conditioning coach 90 minutes a day, five days a week.”

According to sources, Patricia Arquette is not divorcing her husband, Thomas Jane, anytime soon. She has called off the divorce proceedings and plans to try and work things out with him.

She had filed for divorce from Jane in January, citing irreconcilable differences.

All of this means that our favorite “Hung” actor is officially off the market. Bummer.

Good for her, though, I do like her as an actress, so I’m happy if she’s happy. It’s her crazy brother sister that freaks me out.

I seriously thought this rumor was dead, but it’s resurfacing for some reason. Jennifer Aniston was said to be hooking up with Gerard Butler, but then it was hot stuff actor Bradley Cooper. I’d take Bradley over Gerry any day, but that’s just me. It’s those smoldering eyes and that hot bod. Yum. Besides that, they would have such beautiful children to rival that of Saint Angelina and her rainbow brood.

I shook up my magic eight ball and it said, “All signs point to no” on this one. But just look at the picture above, cute, huh?

She may be dating Bradley, but she’s reportedly keeping her options open. To Gerard, that means that she still may end up dating him. Noooooooooo.

A friend of Jen’s said, “If that doesn’t work out (Bradley), she would certainly be open to dating Gerard. They flirt, but it’s pretty innocent. In the future, love could blossom.”

Maybe she should be the one to hook up with Owen Wilson? What do you think? He just seems like such a lost soul without Kate Hudson, and Jen might be able to fill that gap for him.

According to friends of Rihanna, she may just want to get back together with girlfriend beater Chris Brown. I’m not sure why, but maybe she’s a glutton for punishment? Or maybe she is just as abusive as he is? Who knows? She did hit her own brother with a bottle once.

A source says, “It’s so hard for her. She knows her family would freak out if she told them she wants to get on with Chris, so she has to hide her feelings.”

I can’t blame her family, if my child was beaten black and blue by some douchebag, I would be wanting to rip his heart out, but that’s just me.

The snitch adds, “She’s been a nervous wreck for weeks as she was so terrified that Chris would hate her after she testified. Whenever she starts crying, she has to pretend that she’s been having flashbacks to the attacks. But it isn’t that. It’s because she misses him and can’t believe it came to this after everything they had going. She’s mad with him, but at the same time she blames herself.”

She reportedly couldn’t eat for days before the trial and her stomach was in knots because of it. The source also added that she had been drinking a lot to numb the pain that she’s feeling.

Misery loves company? I dunno, but I think she needs to stay away from this idiot before the next time is much worse.

The Ghostbusters, in all their glory.

Are you eagerly awaiting “Ghostbusters III”? If so, well…you have a while to go before the movie actually hits theaters. We do know, though, that it will involve original cast members and also a new group of next generation Ghostbusters (ahh! Ghostbusters IV!!). And if you want to know even more, well, there’s an interview with one of the originals, Harold Ramis, at MakingOf. He goes into some detail about his feelings about the project, including the difficult fact that third movies in a franchise, well, often suck. Enjoy.

Alec Guinness, fighting the Cold War.

The Hollywood Reporter says that Tomas Alfredson, the director behind last year’s acclaimed Swedish film “Let the Right One In,” will be directing a big screen adaptation of John Le Carre’s classic Cold War spy novel, ”Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.” Peter Morgan, the go to guy for political scripts, is writing the screenplay.

The novel was previously adapted as a BBC miniseries in the 1970s, with Alec Guinness starring as retired British intelligence officer George Smiley. It’s really, really good–watch it if you get a chance. However, it was a TV version, so no harm in making a feature film. Tim Bevans of Working Title, the production company behind the new film, says:

“The timing is right for a new screen version of ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’ so it’s great for us to be able to continue our creative collaboration with Peter Morgan on this and to have Tomas onboard who we’ve no doubt will bring a unique vision to the material.”

Indeed. The timing is always right for a great spy flick.

Will Smith could say he wants to make a movie where he reads the tax code and studios would sign up.

Variety reports that Francis Lawrence is set to developing and directing “City That Sailed.” Will Smith is producing along with the usual plethora of other entities, and may also star.

“City” is about “a father who lives on the opposite side of the ocean from his daughter. Their bond is so strong that it causes Manhattan to split off and float across the Atlantic.” Andrew Niccol (”The Truman Show”) wrote the inital script; Brian Koppelman and David Levien (”Ocean’s Thirteen”) are rewriting.

Smith isn’t locked in to star yet. He’s busy producing the “Karate Kid” remake that stars his son, Jaden and not rushing to sign any deals until that’s finished, apparently. This script sounds like the kind of mawkish tripe that somehow appeals to Smith; witness “Seven Pounds.” Seriously, this script just sounds awfu. But Smith is as close to a box office lock as there is in movies today, so if he says yes to something, it gets done.

Spider-Man saves screenwriters from unemployment.

Well, if “Spider-Man 4″ sucks, it won’t be because of a lack of input from multiple voices. The first script was written by James Vanderbilt. Then award-winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire got a crack at it. Now Variety is reporting that Gary Ross is taking a spin through it.

This shouldn’t be a huge surprise–Ross has had a long association with “Spider-Man” star Tobey Maguire, dating back to when he directed Maguire in “Pleasantville.” He’s also working on Maguire’s scheduling challenged “Tokyo Suckerpunch.”

I don’t feel terribly enthusiastic about this. On the one hand, Ross did write (or at least got the writing credits for) the very good “Big,” and the clever “Dave.” But I guess I always feel somewhat worried about his work because he did such a dreadful job with “Seabiscuit,” a movie based on a rock solid book that seemed like it should have been impossible to mess up. Then again, I suppose I shouldn’t worry too much–the odds are good that Ross won’t be the last writer on the “Spider-Man 4″ script.

“Spider-Man 4″ is expected to start filming early in 2010 and has a release date of May 6, 2011.

If you haven’t heard, Lindsay Lohan has been generating quite the buzz for herself lately. She was recently accused (like, yesterday) of stealing the formula for her Sevin Nyne tanning mist. She also just released a statement saying that she turned down Heather Graham’s role in “The Hangover”.

Now, she’s calling BS on the reports that she stole the formula behind Sevin Nyne. We knew this was coming. Lindsay tweeted, “No formula was stolen for Sevin Nyne! It’s a woman looking for a payday. That’s it!”

Later on, apparently non-fans were yelling at Samantha over the locksmith coming out, to which Lindsay tweeted, “THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD THAN A LOCKSMITH @ A HOUSE. TURN ON THE WORLD NEWS OR GOOGLE REAL WORLD ISSUES. XOXOX”

Crap, I didn’t know she was going to get all Kanye West about it.

Carmine Ragusa AKA “The Big Ragoo” actor Eddie Mekka has been arrested for driving under the influence.

He was in Las Vegas last Friday when he was reportedly involved in a drunken car accident. Authorities say that they received a call about a collision with someone who was suspected to be drunk driving.

Officers arrived on the scene and gave Mekka several field sobriety tests, all of which he failed. He was then placed under arrest for misdemeanor DUI.

No one was injured as a result of this drunk driving incident.

What’s up with all these older stars from the television days of yore getting arrested? First it was Janet from “Three’s Company” and now it’s Carmine Ragusa? Who’s next? Florence Henderson?

Mariah Carey performed an emotional tribute to the King of Pop yesterday, by singing the Jackson 5 hit, “I’ll Be There”. She was obviously struggling as she looked down upon Michael’s casket, trying to get through the lyrics.

She took to her Twitter yesterday to say, “Trying to sing today was basically impossible for me. I could barely keep myself from crying. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to pull it together and really do it right, but I was literally choked up when I saw him there in front of me.”

She adds, “One thing I know is, we will never really have to say goodbye to MJ. His legacy lives on through his music and the millions of people he inspired with his timeless music. He will br forever in our hearts.”

Check out her performance with Trey Lorenz:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZTquW5aPB4[/youtube]

Michael Okwu was anchoring for the Today Show, when he was talking about Michael Jackson’s burial plans. He said that if Michael Jackson is buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, he would be in serious Hollywood company. He said that Liberace is buried there, Betty White, and David Carradine, as well.

Thank God for Meredith Veira’s correction, saying that Betty White would appreciate it, and that she’s alive and well.

We’ve already lost a great deal of really talented people last month, let’s not continue the trend.

I love Betty White, every time I see her on Golden Girls or doing an interview, I just crack up. I can’t wait to see The Proposal, just for her part in it.

Some reporters have to take into consideration the responsibility they have in reporting the news. Can you imagine all of the rumors that would’ve started as a result of Okwu’s slip of the tongue? Betty White is a very loved and funny actress, and I almost freaked out when he said her name. Thankfully, she’s just fine.

If at first you don’t succeed…or if at second you don’t succeed…

In the illustrious pantheon of video games that have been made into movies, the two films based on “Mortal Kombat” are not ranked very high. So now that we live in the era of reboot/remake, it would seem like a fine time to try again, right?

Chris Casamassa, who played Scorpion in the original two movies, says that’s exactly what’s happening. Casamassa told the San Gabriel Valley Tribune (tip via the MTV Movies Blog; I’m not going to try to pretend I regularly scan the SGV Tribune) he is scheduled to begin filming a third “Mortal Kombat” movie in September…

…and that’s it for details. The SGV Tribune article is mostly about Casamassa’s contribution to the area as a martial arts instructor. MTV sayss that although there hasn’t been talk about this movie, it is noteworthy that Warner Brothers has just acquired Midway Games, the original home of “Mortal Kombat.” And why would Casamassa lie, what with his stellar reputation as a martial arts instructor in the San Gabriel Valley at stake? He seems like a reliable sort.

But anyway, no word about whether the movie will be a reboot or a sequel or what, or whether the presence of Casamassa indicates the return of other original cast members (such as the likes of Christopher Lambert, Bridgette Wilson, Robin Shou, and Trevor Goddard). One would think that their would be new, young cast members, with Casamassa there as an original baddie to add some credibility to the proceedings.

There haven’t been many good video games to movies, so it certainly won’t hurt to try again. Hey, it’s not like they’re remaking/rebooting “Casablanca” (though I fully expect to hear that’s in the works).

Really nice. Lindsay Lohan is all about class.

Lindsay and Sam called USafe Locksmith out to Sam’s house when the couple along with a friend were locked out. The guy went to town on the lock, trying to get the girls in. That wasn’t before Sam found an open window and crawled through it and opened the doors.

The guy was still expecting to get paid his fee of $39.00, but Lindsay claimed, “You didn’t get me in, she did.” Lindsay then offered the guy a $20, when Sam told him to remove his car from her property. He did and when he came back for payment, the girls locked the door and didn’t pay him at all.

I guess they’ll keep that in mind the next time Lindsay or Sam lock themselves out of their cars or houses. Couldn’t they afford to pony up the cash? Or are the rumors true about Lindsay being broke?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkh5ZsHQCpY[/youtube]

Looks like there’s no desperation setting in for the stars of Bravo TV show The Real Housewives of New York City.The show has been picked up for a third season, ensuring the housewives continue their domination of Bravo, picking up fans right, left and center. Alongside the other ‘Real Housewives’ outings – Jersey, Atlanta and Orange County, the housewives have continued to entertain and be interest enough for most of us to stick with them.Rumors abound that this season Bethany finally gets a ring and no doubt there will be lots more drama and infighting to keep us all amused. Production is set to begin in the fall and casting is underway at the moment.

If you missed out on the six seasons of The L Word, you’ve probably been wondering where the heck Jennifer Beals has been for the last decade or so. Well wonder no more, she’s about to become a regular on your screen again with a recurring role on the upcoming series of Lie to Me.Beals appeared in the show last season for two episodes and will be back this season playing Assistant U.S. Attorney Zoe Landau. Zoe is the ex-wife of Cal Lightman and mother to his teenage daughter.The show will be back on Sept 28 and will also feature appearances from Mekhi Phifer as FBI Agent Reynolds. Looks like this could be about to get all the more interesting!