Snarkin' the NFL

2009 Week 9 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:43:00 +0000

Eagles versus Cowboys, Sunday, November 8, 2009

In attendance: Big weekend! The 'rents were in town, and we had a good crew over the course of the day - in addition to Chef Spouse, Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom, me, and You-Two-Calm-Down-or-I'm-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad, Shoegal, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Tall Drink of Water Cousin, Wingman and Mr. Wingman all spent at least part of the day hanging out and watching the games.

Menu: Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom made AWESOME brisket and beans, Shoegal brought a yummy broccoli casserole to go along side, Ex-Navy Cheesehead brought a bunch of pies and some really cute football sugar cookies, and we had all the usual pre-meal snacks, including Chef Spouse's patented guacamole. It was delish. Which is a good thing, because the game was a big stinking pile of crap.

Stud of the week: I was going to say Ellis Hobbes for returning the opening kick off the second half for a TD, only it was negated by a holding call that none of our crew nor Al and Cris could see, even with replaying on our nice big HD TV multiple times. And then I was thinking maybe Sheldon Brown for the pick and great 54 yard run back, but that was negated by a low block penalty on Moise Fokou. And he got burned by Miles Austin for what turned out to be the winning TD. Then I was going to pick David Akers, but that's way too easy, even though he did make a pointless 52 yarder when Andy should have gone for it, because it was clear, at least to me, that with only about 4 minutes left in the game and no timeouts, this was our last offensive possession. Or I was going to choose McNabb for the plow ahead QB sneak on 4th-and-1 to keep our critical first drive of the fourth quarter going just after Dallas had tied it up, but the zebras inexplicably spotted the ball about 2 yards short of where it should've been and refused to fix it, even after Andy burned our final timeout and his final challenge trying to get them to correct an obvious mistake. So I picked safety Sean Jones, who in just his second start with the Eagles had 4 solo tackles, 1 assist, and a pick. Good game, man! Sorry it didn't work out better for us all.

I feel like I've pretty much already recapped the game. We weren't terrible, we weren't great. But it's damn hard to overcome two picks, although one was clearly Maclin's fault and one was about 50/50 Maclin and McNabb. But on that second pick, Maclin draws a 15 yard face mask to add insult to injury.

Another weird one? Asante Samuel draws a taunting penalty WHILE HE'S GIVING A MARION BARBER HAND UP. Explain that to me, please?

And speaking of weird, what about some of those coaching decisions? We put Mike Vick in for a play, presumably so that McNabb and Reid can chat some things over without taking a time out. Then McNabb goes back in and we have to call a time out. Then we go to McCoy on 3-2, he doesn't get it because he has to come back for the ball and his field awareness is not great. Andy challenges and loses, then we decide to go for it on 4-1 to try to draw the Cowboys offsides, we DO draw them offsides, but Jamal Jackson doesn't snap the ball, and we get called for a false start.

I do understand the challenge on the McNabb sneak, because that was the WORST spot ever, but the officiating crew was calling so much inexplicable shit that Big Red should've realized that God himself (aka Vince Lombardi) could've come down from heaven and told them they had it wrong and they wouldn't have moved it. And the officiating was bad both ways, but the zebras seemed to have a particular propensity for making bad calls that killed any momentum we started getting any time we got it.

And I really don't get that last field goal, either. And why are we starting games so pass-happy? We either score in 3 plays or we go 3-and-out. How about a nice slow first offensive drive for once?

In the end, it just felt like one of those nights where nothing was going to go right. McNabb had some off passes, but Brent Celek, Mr. Clutch, and Jason Avant, Mr. Third Down, both dropped more than one pass that was right to them, AND when our young receiving corps had problems, it felt like EVERY SINGLE deflection went right to a Cowboy defender. We had plenty of "almost got there" on D.

But we couldn't win a close divisional game at home for the lead in the division. That does not bode well for the rest of the season, including the playoffs that I'm still confident we'll reach. Wilbon had it in 1 in Sunday's WaPo: the Eagles are the hardest good team to figure out. Which is, as per usual, giving us all fits. But I do totally agree with these guys: let's not panic. We're still #2 in the division and we're only 1 game back with half the season still to go. Were the season to end today, we'd take one of the wildcard spots. And Reid and McNabb are still the winningest coach/QB we've ever had (and even with his two picks last night, McNabb still has the best TD to INT ratio in the HISTORY OF THE NFL). Some days you're the windshield, some days, you're the bug. It was our day to be the bug.

Just to refresh your memory:

Win Percentage:

Andy Reid - 61.8%
Wade Phillips - 58.8%
Tom Coughlin - 55.3%
Jim Zorn - 43.5%

Career QB rating

Donovan McNabb - 86.2
Tony Romo - 94.9
Eli Manning - 77.6
Jason Campbell - 81.4

Around the rest of the NFL...

Falcons over Redskins. Well, yes. Know what was ridonkulous? DeAngelo Hall on SportsCenter trying to play off that he was just trying to break up the sideline fight and 50 year old, no-pads-wearing Falcons coach Mike Smith was the one who came after him. OK, MeAngelo. The Redskins offense actually looked non-rancid for a while there. But I think it's too little, too late, both for their season and for their beleaguered head coach and starting QB. And they're about to go into a BRUTAL part of their schedule - Broncos, Cowboys, us, Saints, Raiders (which should be a win since everyone but us beats them), Giants, Cowboys, Chargers. Ouch. 3-13 is not out of the picture.

Cardinals over Bears. I TOLD you so! Kurt "Silver Fox" Warner and Larry "Best Buns in Football" Fitzgerald will not be denied. Seriously - have you checked out Fitz's rear view? Yummy!

Bengals over Ravens. I ALSO told you so. It's official - I'm no longer renting the Bengals. I'm buying. The difference between Ocho Cinco and TO is that, while they're both totally arrogant, 85 has a sense of humor about it. Which is why I love him and think his antics are hilarious. I probably wouldn't be so forgiving if he played for the Eagles, but then again, how many TDs would we be talking in one season here?

Colts over Texans. Damn. I was sure this was the one for the Texans. As, in fact, it almost was. Not that you want to bet on being able to beat Peyton Manning in OT, but I was sure it was going there. Think they made Kris Brown walk home? Also: WE're pass happy? Peyton threw, what, 4,967,352 times in the first half? (actual number: 40. Which is still a little unbalanced. And I say this after 11 seasons with Andy Reid.)

Jaguars over Chiefs. You know what's weird? The Jags only won by 3. Poor Maurice Jones-Drew really needs to get himself traded to a decent team before he burns his whole career with those bozos. Matt Cassel's not looking so magical without the rest of the Patriots, is he? Speaking of the Patriots...

Pats over Dolphins. Damn. I was sure the Dolphins could win this one. Obviously, my omniscience quotient is at an all-time low. I caught some of Tom Brady's post-game press conference. Anyone who's read my blog for any length of time knows I think he's an idiot. I may have over-estimated him. It's a good thing he's pretty and can throw a football.

Bucs over Packers. Wow. THIS was the upset of the week. The Bucs get their first win, and the Pack drop two really tough losses in a row. And Aaron Rodgers is getting sacked seven ways from Sunday. Their O line has to figure things out or they're not gonna have a QB in a few weeks. He's about to look like, to quote Keith Olbermann, a bag full of mashed up Aaron Rodgers.

Saints over Panthers. Can the Saints come from behind? Yes, apparently they can. Bet Sean Payton's glad to get that monkey off his back. Can the Saints be stopped? I don't know man - it's not looking like it. It's the best start in the history of the franchise. Geaux Saints!

Seahawks over Lions. Whatever. Isn't there a mercy rule that could let both these teams out of having to play the second half of the season? Stafford: 5 picks? Really? And yet the Seahawks were down by 17at one point? Bad playing worse. Ugh.

Chargers over Giants. Now THAT was an exciting game. Particularly since the Chargers pulled it out, with about 20 seconds left. You know, more teams get burned playing prevent defense at the end of the game. Why do coaches keep thinking it's going to work? Prevent, prevent, prevent, but the team on offense (in this case, the Chargers) eats up the field and the clock in equal sized chunks, leaving the team on defense (in this case, the Giants) NO time to score when they get the ball back. Honestly, it may be more effective to let the other team have the big play and score fast so that you still have some time left. Has anyone done the math on this?

Titans over 49ers. Maybe I'm wrong - maybe Vince Young is the answer. He was the answer this week anyway. Also, the 49ers coughed it up 4 times and the Titans scored off every single one. The 49ers were looking pretty good, but maybe I was blinded by Frank Gore.

And so far, Broncos/Steelers has been turning out about how I expected - big defensive battle. Gruden's about to bust a gut. They need to make him have a few beers before the telecast or something.

2009 Week 9 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:07:00 +0000

Last week, leading up to the matchup with the Giants, all the commentators were all "Giants Giants Giants." Then we BEAT the Giants. And now they're all "Cowboys Cowboys Cowboys." Man, you lose ONE game to the Raiders and it dogs you out FOREVER.

That's OK, though - everyone should definitely keep focusing on all the other teams in the NFC East - even the poor benighted Redskins - because we like being the underdog. First the Giants were the best team in the NFC East. Now it's the Cowboys. Whatever. We'll see what y'all have to say after we spank the Cowboys on Sunday.

Who am I picking? Please. Do you even have to ask? Get ready to cry, Tony, because you know how much we love that.

Redskins/Falcons. Falcons. Duh.

Cardinals/Bears. This one is interesting. Both teams are maddeningly inconsistent this year, beating tough opponents one week (Giants for the Cards - although maybe they aren't as tough as everyone once thought - and Steelers for the Bears - although no Troy Polamalu that week) and dropping games they should win the next (How did the Bears lose to the Packers when they still had Brian Urlacher? How did the Cards lose to the Panthers? Wait - I know this one. 5 turnovers.) I'm going to call Cardinals, but this one really could go either way.

Colts/Texans. Texans! Team of Destiny! (Really, they're probably not going to win, but you never know.)

Ravens/Bengals. A month ago? I would definitely have called Ravens. Today? I'm calling Bengals, man. They seem to finally have their collective act together.

Chiefs/Jaguars. Jaguars. The Chiefs are terrible.

Packers/Buccaneers. The Pack will bounce back from their disappointing loss at home to the Vikings last week by KICKING THE BUCS' ASSES. You heard it here first.

Dolphins/Patriots. I know this is crazy talk, but I'm calling the Dolphins. I just have a feeling about this one.

Panthers/Saints. The Saints have to drop a game eventually, but it's not going to be this week. Saints.

Seahawks/Lions. Ugh. Seahawks. And whatever you do, DO NOT watch this game. Seriously. I fear for your mental health.

Titans/49ers. 49ers. Vince Young was the answer last week against the Jags, but he's not The Answer.

Giants/Chargers. The Giants do have the advantage of being at home, but I don't think it's going to be enough of an advantage, particularly the way they've been playing lately. Chargers.

Steelers/Broncos. Hm - are you sure there's no way BOTH teams can win? The Steelers are my Pennsylvania-homer AFC team, but the Broncos have Wolverine. It's a tough choice, but I do think the Broncos will pull this one out.

On bye: Bills, Browns, Vikings, Jets, Raiders, Rams

Sunday Schedule: November 8, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:33:00 +0000

Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom and You-Two-Calm-Down-or-I'm-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad will be visiting this weekend! So if you've been thinking about joining us but haven't made it out this season yet, this Sunday is THE time. Game schedule:

1 pm: probably Redskins/Falcons, but I'd be open to argument for one of the other 1 pm games
4 pm: Chargers/Giants
8 pm: Eagles/Cowboys!

MNF: Steelers/Broncos (which I'll be watching from Chicago)

Menu: Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom is bringing a brisket! Get excited, and come hungry! With something that goes with brisket.

A Modest Proposal

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:44:00 +0000

Advice from Chef Spouse for the next Redskins coach (because even if ZORN! lasts the rest of the season, there will be a new Redskins coach sooner rather than later):

Get yourself a good contract - man's gotta eat. And buy a house in the DC area, which is not for sissies. Or poor people.
Make a new GM an absolutely non-negotiable part of your employment
Write in a $100M bonus that is delivered if and only if Dan Snyder interferes in any way with the team. Don't even let him speak to any players or draft prospects other than to say "nice game, X!"

Whoever you are - and at this point, probably the only people clueless enough to be willing to TAKE the job are currently coaching high school teams - it's your only chance.

2009 Week 8 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:52:00 +0000

Eagles versus Giants, Sunday, November 1, 2009

In attendance: just me & Shoegal to start (Chef Spouse left at 5 am for San Antonio), but The Executive Committee and the Mad Kitchen Scientist showed up before halftime and hung out awhile.

Menu: homemade chili and cornbread, beer, ginger molasses cookies (Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom's favorites), Shoegal brought a bunch of yummy snacks (including some deliciously spicy hummus), the Mad Kitchen Scientist showed up with bread and a block of yeast for my future bread-baking experiments, and a little Eagle Rare 17 with one (ONLY one) rock to celebrate our win.

Stud of the week: It is really REALLY hard not to pick DMac, who had a pretty much perfect game (guess that rib's feeling way better), but I have to give the shout out to Leonard Weaver, who had his biggest day as an Eagle and scored our first TD of the day, setting the G-men back on their heels. 3rd offensive play of the game for us, 41 yards, longest TD run of Weaver's career. Good job, baby!

So let's get back to DMac for a minute. Wow. Just wow. I love how Tommy breaks it down - we tried to play small ball, 24 runs to 23 passes, long, slow drives where every single play doesn't have to be a Big Play, and the Giants just wouldn't let us. They blew coverage left, right, back, forward, up, down, inside, outside - pretty much every single way coverage can be blown.

All three phases were clicking - we had FIVE different guys with TDs: Maclin, McCoy, Weaver, Celek, and Peanut (of course - he hauls in a 50 yard + TD every damn game). The Giants apparently have no defensive secondary. Rocca punted well. Akers kicked well, other than a blocked extra point. Ellis Hobbes has redeemed himself since the opening kickoff of the second half of the Saints game. Our D pressured Eli all day and didn't let him get comfortable. Brandon Jacobs, other than one decent run, got precisely nowhere. The Giants seemed to get a little momentum toward the end of the first half when they finally scored, and then we rocked out two TDs in under two minutes. It was really never even in question after that, but LeSean McCoy sealed it with a final TD early in the 4th. Hell, even Peanut's TD celebration was pretty good.

And speaking of, is it just me, or does he have like two entire gears that no one else on the field has? Could he be any faster? And, as I'd hoped, Andy and Marty quit screwing around with Vick and the wildcat (although one of the other Eagles fans at last Monday's matchup with the Redskins was heard to remark that in Philly with Vick it should be called the mad dog offense) now that things are Getting Serious.

Inside the Iggles has a good player by player breakdown. A few shoutouts in particular: our young (other than the QB) offensive skill players are good now. Give them two more years together, and they'll be awesomesauce. You heard it here first. I adore Brent Celek. He busts his ass for the first down, even when we're ahead by a million points and just trying to run out the clock. Bullshit horse collar call on Jason Babin taking down Eli clearly by just his jersey and clearly when he was still not out of bounds. Apparently, if your last name is "Manning," you aren't allowed to be touched. A Jason Avant sighting! On a key 3rd down! Hopefully, Andy and Marty will remember that he's still playing for us over the next 9+ games (because there will be a plus this year, I think). I never thought I'd see a day when our O played like that without Westy. And it's just in time, because I love him, but he is wearing down for sure. Is this his last year? I wouldn't be surprised.

One thing that annoyed me was that we got the ball back turned over on downs inside the two minute warning at the end of the game. AR was all ready to knee it out, and you could see on Eli's face that he did NOT want to go back out on the field. Tom Coughlin took all their time outs, even though they were down 40-17, and made the offense go back out. I was yelling at the TV that I wanted a career ending injury for as many key Giants offensive players as possible. I mean, really, why are you doing that? There is literally NO POSSIBLE WAY to win, we're trying to be nice, every single play is a risk in football, and you're being a jackass.

So Chef Spouse, HA! You were wrong. Gotta believe, man! The Giants may not miss Plax most of the time, but I'll bet they miss him against us and our midget secondary. And in the end, they aren't all that. Bring on the Cowboys, because you know who's been their daddy in the the Tony Romo era? If you guessed E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! you would be right.

Around the rest of the NFL...I pretty much blew all my picks. But I got the key one right, so who cares? I'm only out $5 in the weekly office football pool.

Ravens over Broncos. The Ravens not only BEAT the Broncos, they DESTROYED them. The Broncos weren't going to go undefeated, and the Ravens REALLY needed this win (at home), but still. The Broncos could not make anything happen on offense. Yes, defense can win you games, but generally speaking, the offense still has to score SOME points.

Texans over Bills. Team of Destiny! Also, did you know that that was where Ryan Moats went? Because I did not, until I saw him romp into the endzone - THREE TIMES - on the game highlight reel. In other news, I think TO's done.

Bears over Browns. Who just fired their GM. And, according to NFL.com, escorted him from the building. Ouch.

Cowboys over Seahawks. Yeah, the NFC West is still pathetic. In case you were wondering. You know, the Eagles kicked Giant ass all over The Linc yesterday, so there was a lot of conversation about the NFC East. You know who all the conversation was about? The Cowboys. F the Cowboys. They didn't get past the Giants.

Dolphins over Jets. Wilbon pointed out that this was an NFC-level nasty, hard-hitting game. Funny, I've always thought that the AFC is the big-hit conference, what with the Steelers and the Ravens and all, but I guess they're also the land of the Colts and the Patriots and, I don't know, apparently nicer teams than what you usually see in the average outdoor NFC stadium in late December.

Colts over 49ers. What was surprising was that it was such a close game, and the 49ers mostly kept Peyton out of the endzone. Some better teams should definitely study that tape. Hard.

Rams over Lions. On the MNF pre-game "Come On, Man!" segment that I love, the Ram s got called out for dumping, like, two cups of water and 12 ice cubes on Spags on his first win as a head coach. "Come On, Man!" indeed. That kind of half-assed effort is why you're 1- 7 (in case you were wondering).

Charger over Raiders. How did we manage to make JaMarcus Russell look like he might be a competent QB? Such promise, and it's just not panning out. I don't know if it's an Akili Smith situation or if it's bad coaching or what, but regardless, it's a shame. Also, the assault allegations against Tom Cable keep mounting. I know the Raiders fans love their thug image, but this is taking it a little too far.

Titans over Jags. Hm. Maybe Vince Young was the answer all along. What are the odds?

Vikings over Packers. Not only do the Packers lose to Brett Favre in a purple uni at home, but Aaron Rodgers is starting to show wear and tear from the beating he's been taking. Could they maybe try to find that poor kid a little protection? And it sounds like the locker room is not exactly unified. Problems up in Green Bay.

Panthers over Cardinals. Did I say Jake Delhomme has had it? Well, actually, maybe he has, but Kurt Warner threw about 3,657,237 picks, and it's hard for any team to recover from that.

We're just over 2 minutes from the half of Falcons/Saints, it's tied up, and the Falcons are doing WAY better than I anticipated they would. Colts and Saints are the last of the undefeated teams. Not that I think the Falcons are going to pull this out, but any given Sunday, and twice that for divisional games.

2009 Week 8 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:58:00 +0000

The Giants got off to a hot start, winning their first five games. But in that five game stretch, they beat only one team with a winning record (Cowboys) and four dogs (Bucs, Skins, Raiders, Chiefs). Don't get me wrong, we couldn't handle one of those dogs, so my house is far too made of glass to run around throwing stones. But since then, they've played two good teams - the Saints, who also beat us, but by nearly an identical margin with K2 making his very first start, and the Cards, who we haven't faced since the damn NFC Championship game last year - and dropped both games.

So they're not nearly as unbeatable as they looked on November 12 - that sobriquet is reserved for the Saints in the NFC this year - but coming up as Giant-killers will not be easy.

Many people have said that the NFC East has two good teams, one schizo team, and one bad team this year. Now's our chance to prove that right. I think we can do this. Chef Spouse is not feelin' the love, but he has pointed out that it's a matter of which team shows up. And he's not loving the play calling this season, and, as you know, neither am I. But I think this Sunday is when Andy and Marty quit screwing around and get serious. Chef Spouse is not so sanguine.

I'm calling the Iggles, partially but not totally because I'm a total homer. And for it to happen, Winston Justice needs to have a BIG game containing Osi Umenyiora. Did you hear that, Winston? I'm expecting big things of you.

Broncos/Ravens - If we weren't playing opposite, this would DEFINITELY be on the big screen. As it is, this will DEFINITELY be on the 'puter on SuperCast. I think the Broncos take this one, but this is going to be a gooooooood game.

Texans/Bills. Texans! Team of Destiny!

Browns/Bears. I think the Bears have finally found an opponent they can handle. Bears.

Seahawks/Cowboys. I SO want to call Seahawks, but I just don't see it happening. Sigh. Cowboys. (Seahawks, please PLEASE PLEASE pull it together and prove me wrong.)

Dolphins/Jets. Record says Jets, but the Dolphins did pull off the win against them on MNF 3 weeks ago. Then again, that game was at home. This one is not. I think I've just talked myself into calling Jets.

Colts/49ers. I don't have to talk myself into anything here. Colts.

Rams/Lions. OH. MY. GOD. This is the official The Worst Game of the Week. For my pick, I'd like to choose "who cares?" but I guess I have to pick the Lions, who have at least won a game this season.

Chargers/Raiders. The Raiders were a trap for us. They will NOT be a trap for the Chargers. Who will win. Big time.

Titans/Jags. How the mighty have fallen! I'm calling Jags, mostly because I think it would be hilarious if, after the first 0-16 season in NFL history, we had another right away. Go for the goat spot, Titans!

Vikings/Packers. Brett Favre returns to Lambeau Field in purple. I hope the Packers SLAUGHTER the Vikings. I hope they send the team home in body bags. I hope Brett Favre is LITERALLY in PIECES at the end of this game. Think THEN he'd finally retire? You know, if he's, like, decapitated and stuff? Revenge is a dish best served cold. Which it usually is at Lambeau. Packers.

Panthers/Cards. Um, Cards. Jake Delhomme has HAD IT.

Falcons/Saints. I'm sure the Saints will have to lose a game eventually, but it won't be this week. Saints.

On bye: Patriots, Chiefs, Bengals, Steelers, Bucs, Redskins (just in time....to fire their head coach)

Sunday Schedule: November 1, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:08:00 +0000

Bring on the G-men! Here's hoping we can be Giant-killers and get our first quality win of the season!

1 pm - Eagles/Giants
4 pm - Vikings/Packers
8 pm - no SNF because of the World Series - go Phillies!

MNF - Falcons/Saints

Chef Spouse will be leavin' on a jet plane for San Antonio first thing Sunday morning, which leaves me in charge of the kitchen. I'm thinking chili and cornbread. Bring something to go with!

2009 Week 7 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:38:00 +0000

Eagles at Redskins, Monday, October 26, 2009

In attendance: For MNF, me, Chef Spouse, Deadhead Redskins Fan, her friend the season ticket holder, Cool Web Dude (Skins Fan), Hottie Web Chick, and a Fed Ex field that looked about 1/2 and 1/2 to me.

Sunday football was a whole new crew - McLovin, Wingman, Mr. Wingman, and Tweety Monster (all friends from my professional me life)

Menu: Potage au pistou, a really yummy French veggie soup with white beans and pesto, lots of different cheeses and olives, rosemary bread, the infamous guac, the equally infamous garlic crack, and lots of fun cocktails - Chef Spouse was on a roll.

Stud of the Game: You know it's gotta be #10, DJax, the Dime of 5 & Dime, your favorite and mine, DeSean "Peanut" Jackson. 67 yard rushing TD, 57 yard receiving TD, 29 yard punt return. My man is bringing it in his sophomore season! Honorable mention goes to new Eagle MLB Will Witherspoon who created two turnovers last night, one that went for 6 and the other for 3. Welcome to the Eagles, Will! We're glad you're here.

So we won, which is good. And our D looked pretty solid, particularly on that goal-line stand (which was helped by Jason Campbell's fumble). And we held Clinton Portis to 43 yards on 14 attempts (he's not the threat he once was, but that's still pretty good). And our O line looked better. And when BWest went down, our offense didn't completely fall apart, as we often have in previous years.

Our offense was completely out of sorts other than the two big 5 & Dime hookups. In my totally-has-no-effect-on-anyone-who-could-make-a-difference opinion, the problem is that Andy and Marty keep screwing around with trick shit every third play. Here are other items on Andy's Chinese food menu laminated play card that he just didn't get to last night:

Have DMac line up at tight end
Bring Trent Cole in as a receiver
Lineup BWest at center
O-line and receivers switch places
EVERYONE lines up to the left, including Stacey Andrews and Winston Justice
Everyone moves one position to the right
All 3 QBs on the field at once
Once DMac has the ball, he fakes to the left. No! He fakes to the right. He doesn't fake. He thinks about faking. He pretends to fake. (extra points if you recognize the reference)

It's one thing if your QB is Chad Henne. But here's a thought: have you heard of this guy named Donovan McNabb? 5 time pro-bowler, as of last night, only the 21st player in NFL history to have 200 TD passes and 30,000 passing yards? One of only FOUR players to have 200 TD passes and 3,000 rushing yards? Maybe you might want to consider just LETTING HIM PLAY QB. Sorry, haters, but when he's on the field, he's our best offensive weapon. Why in the hell are we taking him out of the huddle every third play? I know Vick is Big Red's community service project, and that's lovely, but we need to win some f-ing games here! We ALL know that one of DMac's problems is that he's streaky. He can't get ON a streak if he's constantly coming off the field.

We won, but we won ugly. A fellow Eagles fan emailed me earlier today asking if the Iggles had their first quality win. I'm sure my Skins fan friends appreciate the upgrade, but the Skins are no one's definition of a quality team. We're still - STILL - looking for our first quality win. Next week would be a GREAT time for it to show up.

And in injury news, there's more bad news for the Skins. Not only do they have the third worst owner in football and a TOTALLY ineffective GM (seriously, I think I'd do a better job than Vinny Cerrato), but Chris Cooley is out, maybe for the rest of the season, with a broken ankle. He's one of their few reliable players at this point. And as for Westy, thank God it's just a concussion. Not that they aren't serious, but when he wasn't moving we were ALL freaking out. I thought it was really nice that DMac stayed with his brother Byron (who, as you may recall is a Redskin) after Andy motioned for him to stay on the field.

Are we playoff material this year? Going into the season I thought "for sure." Now, I'm not so convinced. One thing in our favor is that we do tend to get hot at the right time (November/December) - and next Sunday is Nov 1. We'll know in just under 6 days if we *are* playoff material this year.

Around the rest of the NFL...

WHAT WAS WITH ALL THE BLOWOUTS!?!? Geez - BOOOOOO-RING! Sigh.

Packers over Browns. I have no comment about this. NO ONE has a comment about this. The Packers didn't even feel like finishing the game, but they were contractually obligated.

Texans over 49ers. It was a close game. Shaun Hill's been benched. Alex Smith got to play. Good for him! After the big Alex Smith/Aaron Rodgers draft in 2005, it was like both of them died. Or went to play in the CFL. Or decided to trek in Nepal for a while. It's nice to see them both playing. Mike Singletary obviously hopes Smith will play *better* but maybe he will when he actually gets the reps with the rest of the first team offense.

Chargers over Chiefs. Which team is the biggest whipping boy so far this season? I would say the Chiefs, but they have actually won a game. Over the Redskins, true, but in the race to the bottom, they aren't leading. That dubious honor would be reserved for....

Patriots over Buccaneers. Yes, the Bucs are the worst team in football. Except for maybe...

Colts over Rams. Hm, maybe the Rams are the worst team in football. What do y'all think? In other news, the Colts have lost Adam Vinateri for 3-7 weeks and have signed Matt Stover as a replacement. Why did they bother? All Peyton does is throw TDs. A placekicker seems superfluous.

Steelers over Vikings. Now THAT's the Brett Favre I love to hate - no TDs, a pick, and a lost fumble. Let the suck begin (I hope)! And the rest of us learned a valuable lesson. Want to beat the Vikings? Shut down Adrian Peterson (only 69 yards), and make Favre do it. Because the old man CAN'T.

Bills over Panthers. Speaking of teams that suck...well, it's probably not the *whole* team. Actually, it's mostly Jake Delhomme. At least he's really fun to watch while he's losing. Once he's out of football - which at the rate he's going could be next week - he should definitely not look to get on the professional poker circuit.

Jets over Raiders. What was I smoking when I picked the Raiders to win? Must've been the same thing as Wilbon. Apparently, we're BOTH knuckleheads.

Bengals over Bears. Man, was that embarrassing. The Bengals put up 45 points on the Bears. How's that bend-don't-break D working out in Chi-town?

Cowboys over Falcons. Damn it! We had the chance to go up one game on the whole division, and the stupid Falcons couldn't pull it together for us! ARGH! It looked pretty promising for the first half, and then Tony Romo remembered that this guy named Miles Austin is supposed to be his #1 wideout and, hey, he actually played like a #1 wideout! Damn.

Saints over Dolphins. 46 to 34. That's like a high school basketball score. 80 points? BOTH teams defenses should be embarrassed.

Cardinals over Giants. I punked out and couldn't stay awake to see the end of this game and I am SO PISSED. I even said to Chef Spouse: "This is a great game, but the Giants will pull it together, and I'm beat. I'm going to bed." STUPID STUPID STUPID. And if you look at the stats, it looks like it should've been all Giants. Other than those 3 picks Eli threw. Will Witherspoon and Asante Samuel, are you paying attention? Also, I do believe that Fitz has the best butt in football. Crucial to the game? No, but nice to look at!

2009 Week 7 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:42:00 +0000

Man, did we stink it up last week. Yes, I'm still on that. Does that mean that we aren't who we thought we were? Nah - just usual Eagles mid-season weirdness. They want to keep it interesting for the fans. If you recall, our Phillies had a mid-season slump too, and look how that's turning out!

Meanwhile, the Redskins have stripped head coach Jim Zorn of his playcalling duties. Zorn, as you may recall, was originally brought in to be the offensive coordinator, aka The Guy Calling The Plays. Sherm Lewis will be calling the plays now. He's had an illustrious career, but he's also been calling nothing more important than bingo games recently, and he's been in DC with the Redskins for approximately two weeks. I'd be amazed if he even knows all the players' names yet. "You! Tall skinny African-American receiver! Run a go route!"

What's really going on? I'm guessing that Snyder and Cerrato are trying to force Zorn to quit so they don't have to buy out his contract when they fire him. Because it's inevitable. As a matter of fact, I'm guessing it goes down Tuesday morning, October 27, after we humiliate the Redskins on national TV. You heard it here first.

In the rest of the matchups:

Packers/Browns - Packers. (Yes, no comment. No comment needed.)

49ers/Texans - You *know* I'm calling my Team of Destiny, the Texans!

Chargers/Chiefs - Dear Chiefs: hope you enjoyed that big one game winning streak, because it ends this weekend. Chargers.

Colts/Rams - Oh my God. Really? I know I joke about this a lot, but I'm totally serious now - the Rams should just forfeit. Even though it means they won't get paid. Trust me, no amount of money is worth what they're going to go through Sunday. None. Besides, they'll be able to to apply to FEMA for disaster relief funds. Do I even need to say "Colts"?

Pats/Buccaneers - Sigh. What is up with the games in London? This is such a dumb gimmick. And jet lag is no joke, both going and coming. Do I really have to talk about the game? The poor Bucs - they're not going to get their first win this week, either. Bucs Chick, you're definitely winning the suck fest. Patriots.

Vikings/Steelers - I'm picking against the Vikings. Again. Since I want them - or more precisely, Brett Favre - to lose, I should probably start picking for them. Yeah, not gonna happen. Steelers. (who have Troy Polamalu back, by the way)

Bills/Panthers - Both teams are bad. Both teams are *not* going to the playoffs this year. Yes, it's only week 7 but I already know. So do you. Bills. But does it really even matter?

Jets/Raiders - Raiders, if you do to Mark Sanchez what you did to DMac last week, you won't even need to score to win. Call it a Raiders win, score 2-0.

Bears/Bengals - This is an interesting matchup. Are the Bengals for real? Well, you know what happened last week. Are the Bears for real? Two words for you: Jay Cutler. Coin flip says Bengals.

Falcons/Cowboys - Falcons. You know it, baby! Cowboys continue to disappoint. YAY!

Saints/Dolphins - The Saints will see something they haven't faced so far this season - efficient wildcat. It's a different look for them. But the result will be the same - Saints win.

Cardinals/Giants - Cards, do you think you can manage to beat the Giants for us? Please? Pretty please? There are homemade cookies in it for you if you do. Not buying it? Me, either. Giants.

On Bye: Ravens, Broncos, Jags, Lions, Seahawks, Titans

Sunday Schedule: October 25, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:33:00 +0000

The Iggles face the Skins on national TV on MNF this week, and Chef Spouse and I are going with Deadhead Redskins Fan and her friend, who holds the season tickets. After week 6, two things are true: the Iggles are PISSED and the Skins are imploding before our eyes. Should make for an interesting evening at FedEx Field.

Anyway, for your Sunday viewing pleasure:

1 pm - Steelers/Vikings - Go Steelers!
4 pm - Cowboys/Falcons - Go Falcons!
8 pm - Giants/Cardinals - Go Cardinals! (even though I think you're gonna lose)

Menu: It's going to be chilly and we have some yummy leftover pesto a friend brought to a recent potluck, so Chef Spouse is thinking potage au pistou (a French veggie soup with white beans and pesto), accompanied by homemade baguettes (if I can get my act together to start them Saturday) and other yummy snacks. Bring something to go with! (like maybe wine :)

2009 Week 6 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:27:00 +0000

Eagles at Raiders, Sunday, October 18, 2009

In attendance: Chef Spouse, Ex-Navy Cheesehead, Shoegal

Menu: Jambalaya. Geaux Saints! Plus lots of yummy treats.

Stud of the game: there were no Eagles studs. We stunk it up from A to Z. This week's stud? Chad Ocho Cinco, who put up his OWN money to buy (and give away) 1200 tickets so the Bengals/Texans game would sell out and be broadcast locally. That's for the love of the game.

Speaking of stinking it up (cover your eyes, Life-Long Eagles Fan Mom), what THE FUCK was that?

There are (at least) two voices in my head. Voice 1, Ms. Rational, says, "Hey, it's just one game. We always come out totally flat and blow a game we absolutely should have won at least once in the season, usually in the middle third (hello, week 6), and it usually doesn't hurt us. This is just that game. Don't panic. Things in the NFL are never as bad - or as good - as they seem on first view."

That's Ms. Rational.

Ms. Not-So-Rational is PISSED.

No one played well - receivers couldn't catch, McNabb threw some bad passes in the 4th quarter, Akers missed two field goals (margin of victory? 4 points), defenders couldn't get to JaMarcus Russell. Bad all around. But the worst? The real reason for our loss? Two factors:

The O-line
Jeremiah Trotter

Axeman, I love you, but the Raiders targeted you all day. And you weren't up to it. We're glad to have you back in Philly (for the third time), we love you, we think you're great, but you're not a great linebacker any more. I hear Hugh Douglas's old Bad Assador job is open. You might want to think about moving over to that. It didn't help that everyone else was blowing tackles, too, but dude, I could outrun you at this point.

The O-line. OH. MY. GOD. They were so full of holes they make swiss cheese look butch. Yeah, McNabb was off target in the fourth quarter. That's because Mr. Broken Ribs was running for his damn life for 45 minutes. And the play calling! Westy was getting big yards almost every time he touched the ball. Why in the hell did Big Red call so many pass plays with a QB who's still banged up and an O-line that couldn't stop my 86 year old grandmother who only has one good eye? Maybe we should've asked the pigeon to help out.

And I don't think it changed the outcome of the game, but let's talk about the bad officiating. JaMarcus Russell was clearly and obviously guilty of intentional grounding AT LEAST twice. Called? Nope. DeSean Jackson got hit out of bounds - taken to the ground on the OTHER SIDE of the paint - on a kick return. Called? Hells no. DAVID AKERS got taken to the GROUND and got up with GRASS all over his ass and back after a FG attempt. Roughing the kicker? NO. Seriously? Dude's on his back.

On a separate but related note, did you know that DMac has not drawn a SINGLE roughing the passer call in over TWO YEARS? How is that even possible? Oh yeah - all QBs (coughcoughBrady) are treated equally (coughcoughPeyton).

Oh well, it could be worse - I could be a Redskins fan.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Texans over Bengals. You know, after Ocho Cinco bought all those tickets, the least the team could've done was win, for chrissakes! Maybe what killed them was me finally getting behind them? Sorry, guys.

Packers over Lions. Well, yeah. Shut out. Ouch.

Jags over Rams. Took 'em to overtime, though. Gonna be a long season in Jacksonville. Gonna be longer in St. Louis.

Vikings over Ravens. Damn. It came down to a missed FG. Killer. And will the bad Brett hurry up and show up already?

Saints over Giants. I did call this. What I got wrong was the whole "close game" thing. Not so much. And the Giants even had their starting QB, unlike certain Philadelphia teams I could name. Is it too early to use the term "juggernaut" to describe the Saints?

Steelers over Browns. Well, again, yeah.

Panthers over Bucs. I really thought the Bucs had it in them to win this week. Apparently I was wrong. 0-6 hurts. Just ask the Titans. Or their fans. I really think they should stick with Josh Johnson at QB, but what the hell do I know? Oh! Actually I do know this: the Panthers need to find Jake Delhomme's successor ASAP.

Chiefs over Redskins. See, Eagles fans? It *could* be worse. We're homicidal, but Redskins fans are suicidal at this point. Looks like the Zornmeister is going to be fired, although I still think they'll wait until the bye. But as long as Snyder and Cerrato are running the team, they could have God coaching and it wouldn't make a difference. I absolutely think that the Zorn should shock the hell out of them and just quit. He's gonna get canned and take the blame anyway. Why not go out with a bang?

Cards over Seahawks. See, I should've let myself talk myself into calling the Cards!

Pats over Titans. Why does Bill Belichick's asshatness never bite him? The Pats were up about a million points, it's snowing, and TOM BRADY IS STILL IN THE GAME. Honestly, I was cheering for a career-ending injury at that point, just to punish Belichick for being a dick. Of course, it didn't happen. It never happens. I hate that guy. And what is up with the Titans this year? I'm sorry, but that's not just the loss of Albert Haynesworth. No way.

Bills over Jets. So it turns out that teams have figured out that Mark Sanchez only makes one read. Looks like the honeymoon's over, rookie. Things in the NFL are never as bad - or as good - as they appear at first. But 5 picks looks pretty damn bad. So do the Bills, who still almost lost the game.

Falcons over Bears. Speaking of picks! But still, that was a GOOD game. Very much enjoyed watching both teams, who played well for the most part. Talk about some serious goal-line D? The Falcons allowed one Chicago TD, then forced a fumble, got a pick, and got a turn over on downs. Falcons are looking good (again) this year!

MNF? Tied up. Game's been pretty exciting. Dawkins is out with a hamstring injury. That could hurt the Broncos.

So I'll close with a little something for Chef Spouse:

(because he's wearing his #20 jersey tonight)

2009 Week 6 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:15:00 +0000

My prediction as we face the Raiders this week is that the Eagles will continue to make hay in the sunny part of their schedule. Which lasts precisely two more games. On the upside, Vick should see a lot of playing time, since we're likely to be so far ahead that McNabb won't take a snap after the half. My other prediction? This game turns into a Dullsville blow out, and we start watching one of the other games at some point. Eagles. Of course.

Texans/Bengals. I'm still not sure I buy the Bengals, but I'm at least renting this week. Bengals.

Lions/Packers. I so want to call Lions, but I just can't bring myself to. Packers.

Rams/Jaguars. If the Jags can't pull it together to beat the Rams (who might end up owned by Rush Limbaugh - as if they didn't already have enough problems), put a fork in them, because they are D-O-N-E. Jags.

Ravens/Vikings. A. Someone needs to take Brett Favre down a peg. B. Who better to do it than a team that's got to still be smarting after their surprise loss to the Bengals last week? Ravens.

Giants/Saints. I said it before, I'm sure I'll say it again - this is THE game of the week. I am so psyched! And I think the 2009 season NFC picture is going to come into very clear focus in the next few weeks. I can make an argument for this one going high scoring. I can make an argument for this one going low scoring. But either way, I'm positive it's going to be close and MEGA exciting. And I'm calling the Saints, and not just because I love New Orleans. Geaux Saints!

Browns/Steelers. Luckily for the Steelers, there's still ONE easy team in their division. (In case you were wondering, it's the Browns.) Steelers.

Panthers/Bucs. The Bucs gotta win some time, right? I think it will be this week. Bucs.

Chiefs/Redskins. The Chiefs also gotta win some time. And after almost taking down the Cowboys last week, I also think it will be this week. Chiefs.

Cardinals/Seahawks. Matt Hasselbeck had a hell of a game last week. OK, it was against the Jags, but still. On the other hand, the Seahawks are running out of O-linemen. But the Cards aren't exactly burning up the pass rush wires. I'm thinking Seahawks, but I could probably be convinced to change my mind, particularly since they don't exactly have a lock-down secondary, and the Cards still have Larry Fitz last time I checked.

Titans/Patriots. The Titans gotta win some time, right? Ain't gonna be this week. Pats.

Bills/Jets. Jets. The loss to Miami on MNF was pretty crushing, but it wasn't that bad. I don't think it's really going to matter than Mark Sanchez seems to only make one read. The TO cancer has already infected the locker room, and the only possible salvation is to remove the tumor. Barring that? Long season up in Buffalo.

Bears/Falcons. Since losing their season opener to Green Bay, the Bears have been on a 3 game 1 bye week winning streak. Of course, they've played the Lions, the Seahawks, and the Steelers (who are normally a lock, but no so much this year, at least so far). The Falcons WHIPPED UP on the 49ers last week, and, after their early bye week, are also 3-1, losing only to the Pats and beating the Dolphins and Cardinals. Hm. Reviewing that list leads me to call the Falcons to win this one, but I honestly could see it going either way.

Broncos/Chargers. I predict the winner of this game will win the AFC West this year. And I predict that, on both counts, that will be the Broncos. Kyle Orton, Ex-Navy Cheesehead always believed in you. Just wanted you to know. You know, in case famous NFL quarterbacks happen to be reading this blog. Stranger things have happened.

On bye: Cowboys, Colts, Dolphins, 49ers

Blog Action Day 2009: Climate Change

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:10:00 +0000

It's 2009 Blog Action Day, and this year's theme is Climate Change. Which is a perfect opportunity to talk about the Eagles.

I'm particularly proud to be an Eagles fan today. Co-owner Christina Lurie started the Go Green initiative in 2003. Among the Go Green accomplishments:

The Linc was one of the first sports stadiums to serve beverages in "plastic" cups made from corn.
The Eagles had their first carbon neutral (thanks to offsets) game in 2005.
They're using solar and wind power, planting trees, encouraging fans to recycle, helping fans figure out how to offset their game day emissions, turning user Linc fryer oil into biodiesel, and have won a Pennsylvania Environmental Council sustainability award.
Hell, even the cheerleader calendar is printed on recycled paper, and the bikinis were made from organic cotton and recycled plastic. I'm not kidding - check it out.
They've partnered with Stop Global Warming since 2005.

What can you do to lower your carbon emissions? Check out the Go Green initiative, other Blog Action Day posts, or the Climate Crisis site to find out.

Sunday Schedule: October 18, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:51:00 +0000

What are we watching this Sunday?

1 pm - Giants/Saints. This is the game of the week.
4 pm - Eagles/Raiders. This is not the game of the week.
8 pm - Bears/Falcons. This is going to be pretty good, too.

MNF - Chargers/Broncos. Another solid match up.

Menu - TBA. I've been on the road this week and haven't had a chance to confer with Chef Spouse. Requests? Put 'em in the comments.

Edited to add: Chef Spouse informed me that, as it will be miserably cold & rainy in DC all weekend AND as we are rooting for the Saints to beat the G-men, this would be an excellent weekend for JAMBALYA, baby! Oh yeah - it's on!

2009 Week 5 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:55:00 +0000

Eagles v. Buccaneers, Sunday, October 11, 2009

In attendance: not me! I'm in Orlando at a conference, so it was just Chef Spouse and Ex-Navy Cheesehead. Insult to injury? I only managed to watch the second half, due to conference responsibilities.

Menu: Chef Spouse tells me he made burgers and oven fries, and Ex-Navy Cheesehead brought us a bunch of fine tequila. Me? Green salad with salmon and club soda. Sigh. Conference.

Stud of the week: Jeremy Maclin, who had his first breakout game. Also AR, who's now one of only 4 active coaches with 100 or more wins. Also DMac, who came back from a broken rib and a month off to post a nearly-perfect 157.2 passer rating. But I have to pick Maclin for the photo, since this is his first time.

So the good about the game is that we're 3-1, second in the NFC East behind the Giants (more about them later), and we did what good teams are supposed to do: beat the teams we're supposed to beat. Also, McNabb looked great - so great, in fact, that he was taken out about 1/2 way through the fourth quarter in favor of getting Vick some snaps. Some people (Bob Ford, I'm looking at you) complained that the offense was only effective while McNabb was on the field, so why are we wasting time with Vick? Um, I don't know - maybe to see if he has anything left after two years in the pokey, when the outcome of the game has already been determined? Some people - and by that I mean Philly sportswriters - aren't happy no matter what happens.

More good? Kolb has put in enough time that if Big 5 goes down again this season(which he won't, knock wood), we're not SOL. And we're overloaded with talent on O. 6 guys with notable receptions yesterday? So much talent that Westy and Peanut were basically able to kick back all game? Are you familiar with the term "embarrassment of riches"? Because that's us.

You want the bad? (you know there's bad) How many penalties can one team commit in a game? I don't know, but I think we were going for the record. Playing that sloppy against a team that's now 0-5 won't kill you, but try pulling that shit against the Giants, and we'll be in BIG trouble.

Also, our defense was not brilliant against the Bucs yesterday. Sure, picks and sacks, but also unable to get off the field on 3rd down. Remember how we got bitch-slapped repeatedly by the Saints in week 2? In week 1, I thought the Panthers were a test, based on last year's record, and that we passed with flying colors. That was before they proceeded to go 1-4. The Chiefs test no one, except, apparently, the Cowboys. Who are enjoying their annual meltdown a little on the early side.

And that is the big problem - are we making hay of our early soft schedule? We haven't really been tested yet, other than by Saints, and we had a guy making his first start under center, so that's a tough call, too (although I will point out that our special teams and defense gave K2 NO help whatsoever that week). And our schedule continues to be forgiving, with the Raiders next week and the rapidly imploding Redskins the week after. Our first real test will be against the aforementioned Giants on November 1. That will tell us a LOT about how the NFC East and potentially the post-season are likely to fall out.

My advice? Enjoy the wins now, and keep your fingers crossed.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Bengals over Ravens. The Bengals are 4-1 and are LEADING the AFC NORTH! Just sit down and absorb that for a minute. The Bengals are finding a way to win this year. And it's not due to an easy schedule. The only game they've lost so far is to the also-surprising Broncos. They've beat the Ravens, Steelers, Browns, and pre-decimated-offensive line Packers. There's lots of football left to play in the 2009 season, but color me shocked about this one.

Browns over Bills. Also, the suck. Defensive battle? Uh, no. Sheer incompetence on both sides.

Panthers over Skins. On Monday Night Countdown, they're all, "Zorn may get dumped during the bye week if the Skins lose to the Eagles on Monday Night Football." Um, if? The only way the Skins win that game is if the Eagles can't find the stadium. I'm in FLORIDA and I can hear the wailing in DC FROM HERE. From where I'm sitting, regardless of what they do at this point, the Redskins are pretty much f-ed this season.

Steelers over Lions. As expected, although the Steelers don't seem to be quite themselves this year, and it once again came down to the 4th quarter. This week, the Steelers kept it together in the 4th, but I'd still be pretty concerned if I were a Steelers fan. Polamalu comes back soon, and that should help, but it can't all be one player, particularly if that one player isn't the QB.

Cowboys of Chiefs. They needed overtime to do it. OVERTIME. HA! We blew the Chiefs out with our making-his-second-start virtual rookie AND no BWest. The Cowboys are NO threat to us this year. Not that they have been in recent memory, but still. OVERTIME. To beat the CHIEFS. If they'd managed to lose, I'd still be laughing.

Giants over Raiders. You know what's amazing about this game? That the Raiders scored at all. The Giants offense must've needed a rest and Eli was like, "Could you please just let the Raiders stay on the field for a while? My boys need a minute to send out for a pizza here. They're hungry from all that running around and scoring."

Vikings over Rams. The Rams merited, like, 7 shout-outs on "C'mon man!" tonight. That's not a stat you want to be winning. Who celebrates in the end zone when you're down by 20+ points? Oh right - Donnie Avery. Tool.

Falcons over 49ers. You know who else is a tool? Dre Bly. The Niners are down 35-10, he manages to pick Matt Ryan, and rather than secure the ball and try to score, he showboats, gets the pick knocked out of his hand, and the Falcons go on to score. Again. Idiot. He should be fined for stupidity.

(Mark Anthony just sang the national anthem to start MNF. He has a REALLY nice voice. I was impressed!)

Cardinals over Texans. I have no idea what happened in this game (other than that I called it wrong). Hey, I'm in Florida here, with no Sunday ticket. Anyone?

Broncos over Pats. OK, so maybe the Broncos are for real. Maybe Josh McDaniels is the second coming of Vince Lombardi. Maybe Dawk really was the answer for their D. Maybe Kyle Orton's only problem all those years was that he was playing for the Bears. That's a lot of maybes. But I'm pretty sure the Broncos are for real. If we play them in the Super Bowl, and Dawk's in orange and blue, I will seriously cry. If we don't get to the show this year, and the Broncos do, I'll bet they win. Deserving Eagles always seem to get their rings elsewhere. Maybe because we've yet to win a Super Bowl. Damn it.

Seahawks over Jaguars. OK, how did the Jags manage to keep it close in the 12-14 loss to the Colts, beat the Titans and the Texans, and then get SHUT OUT by the Seahawks (and spanked by the Cards in week 2)? Again, didn't see the game. Can anyone explain this to me?

Colts over Titans. It's gonna be a LOOOOONG season in Tennessee.

2009 Week 5 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:28:00 +0000

The Bucs have some problems. They just fired their kicker (who, in all fairness, deserved it). QB controversy? Hell, yeah. Josh Freeman, a rookie who's supposed to be the face of the franchise...later...Josh Johnson, a virtual rookie who did the best he could against the Redskins...Byron Leftwich, who...nah, too easy. And Luke McCown. Unlike Luke and Owen Wilson, who are easy to differentiate, I can never remember which McCown QB is which. No one has that problem with Peyton and Eli Manning. Or even had that problem with Tiki and Ronde Barber. What does that mean? The McCown brothers aren't worth paying even enough attention to to know where they're currently playing/holding clipboards. And I'm obsessed with football! If I can't be bothered to remember where you play, that's a problem. Add to that the second worst defense in the entire NFL (second only to the Browns), and there should be plenty for the Eagles to feast on this week.

Actually, the entire NFC East is feasting on a relatively weak schedule this year. The only decent team in the AFC West is the Chargers and MAYBE the Broncos (but I'm not completely convinced yet), and the NFC South is relatively easy pickings other than the Saints. Well, a soft schedule other than the fact that we have to play each other, of course. For more on this, check out Tommy's most recent post on Eagles Blitz (good stuff, yo!).

All our dinged up starters are back, the Bucs are in serious trouble this year. I'd call it a potential trap game, but c'mon man. There's no way we lose this one, particularly given that Andy Reid pretty much ALWAYS wins the game after the bye week.

Edited to add: Big Red is also going for win #100 as head coach of the Iggles this weekend. Assuming he's successful - as he's likely to be - he will go to a 12-0 record after the bye week, and will join a list of only FOUR active coaches with more 100 or more wins (Jeff Fox, Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin are the others). Philly fans complain about everything - it's our nature - but good job, Andy!

Ravens/Bengals. Both teams are 3-1, but there's a BIG difference between the Ravens 3-1 and the Bengals 3-1. Sorry, OC - you're still my psycho ego-maniacal-yet-hilariously-funny secret wideout boyfriend. But I'm calling Ravens.

Bills/Browns. The Bills are managing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory so far this season, but I don't think that will be a problem on Sunday. Bills.

Redskins/Panthers. The Skins have yet to face a team with a win. And yet they're 2-2. Losing to the Giants, sure. Losing to the Lions? Oy. I think the Panthers will get their first win this week.

Steelers/Lions. Oh my. Poor Lions. How did they get stuck playing the Steelers? Oh - that's right. NFC and AFC North play each other this year. Ouch. Steelers.

Cowboys/Chiefs. OK, the Cowboys are a mess this year - at least so far - and with what excuse? No more TO - no more Jessica. The problem is Tony Romo. Or possibly Wade Phillips. Or both. But even Tony and Wade can lead the team past the Chiefs. Cowboys.

Raiders/Giants. OH. MY. GOD. Eli Manning has plantar fasciitis, which hurts list a mo-fo and there's no real cure other than rest, which he's not going to get until, God willing, January. But Raiders, seriously, just "miss" the flight, stay in California, and spend the weekend doing shots. The hangover after a 3 day bender will be WAY less painful than the reaming you're going to take Sunday. Giants.

Vikings/Rams. I think the Vikings have been more lucky than good so far this year. See above RE: Lewis, Greg and Vicodin Boy tossing up a pass where he didn't even know where it was going. But they're not going to need luck or skill to get past the Rams. All they have do is show up. Vikings.

Falcons/49ers. This is my official upset pick. 49ers. I just have a good feeling about them this week.

Cardinals/Texans. Texans, baby! Because I'm picking them every week this year, damn it. Unless we face them in the Super Bowl.

Patriots/Broncos. I think we're going to find out of the Broncos are for real this week. And (sorry Wolverine), I think the answer is that they're not. Patriots.

Jaguars/Seahawks. Jags. Please.

Colts/Titans. This looked like a much better matchup when the schedules came out this summer. That was before the Titans were 0-4. After this week, they'll be 0-5. Colts.

Jets/Dolphins. I suspect Mark Sanchez will get over last week's loss against the Saints and whup up on the Dolphins. Jets.

On bye: Bears, Packers, Saints, Chargers

Sunday Schedule: October 11, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:07:00 +0000

I'll be at my organization's annual meeting in Orlando starting Saturday, but while I'm stuck in The Land of Mickey, Chef Spouse will still be hosting the weekly football party. Game schedule:

1 pm: Eagles/Bucs (which thankfully should be on broadcast down in Florida)
4 pm: I would guess Pats/Broncos (since that looks like the best game in the time slot)
8 pm: Colts/Titans (unless Chef Spouse, realizing that it's likely to be a blowout, decides to head to Bohemian Caverns to hear Rebirth Brass Band)
MNF: Jets/Dolphins

Menu: Since it's likely to be a small crowd, with Shoegal still on vacation and me stuck in screaming kid-ville, Chef Spouse is thinking burgers.

2009 Week 4 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:52:00 +0000

Bye Week, Sunday, October 4, 2009

In attendance: Just me & Chef Spouse, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I got home from a 4 day conference in Orlando mid-afternoon Saturday and was in need of a little downtime.

Menu: Chef Spouse's super-yummy cream of tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. Yum!

Stud of the Week: DirecTV's Supercast, hands down. Sunday was killing me - Pats/Ravens playing opposite Bucs/Redskins AND Saints/Jets playing opposite Broncos/Cowboys. Short of running back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, what's a football fan to do? Chef Spouse's big brain to the rescue. "Wait! Grab one of the laptops!" Within minutes, TWO games on at once IN THE SAME ROOM. Did you hear that singing? It's the football angels. I'm usually the farthest one can possibly get from being a corporate shill, but that seriously made my whole damn day.

In Eagles news, we managed to avoid the cavalcade of injuries that hit the NFC East yesterday by conveniently not playing. Good move, team! We have enough injured players, thank you very much. And with the Axeman back, it's like old home week. Who's next? Hugh Douglas? Wolverine will decide he's sick of the thin air in Denver and come on back? Jaws decides to drop the microphone and suit up?

In other news, it's great that the NFL strongly supports Breast Cancer Awareness month. Really - there are lots of of female football fans, and the males all at least have a mother, if not sisters, wife, girlfriend, cousins, nieces, daughters, etc. What's not great? Pink gloves and/or shoes with red uniforms. Purple? Sure. Green? Yeah, but not Jets green. Blue? Fo' shizzle. Orange? HELL NO.

OK, enough foreplay - on to the games.

Skins over Bucs. The Skins did EVERYTHING they could to hand that game over. Jason Campbell had an 18 QB rating in the first half. 18! It was painful to watch. And yet, they won. Conclusion? Yes, the Bucs really are *that* bad. Dear Josh Johnson: look down at your chest. Is it covered in a midnight green jersey with a big #5 in the middle? No? They don't expect to scramble around for 8-10 seconds and then make something happen, with your arm OR your legs. If you ain't McNabb, it ain't happening, son. Edited to add: the Bucs have fired placekicker Mike Nugent. Not surprising given the fact that he couldn't find the middle of the uprights with graph paper, a protractor, and his high school geometry teacher. Not that a few field goals would have helped against the Giants, but it made the difference Sunday.

Pats over Ravens. OK, am I the ONLY ONE who noticed that the officiating was TERRIBLE in that game? Look, if you want the Pats to win so bad that you're willing to call roughing the passer on any defender in the same ZIP code as Rocks Brady, you really need to quit being a zebra and run a Tom Brady fan club full time. Meanwhile, the refs were too busy passing Rocks mash notes to actually call anything on that Pats. Meanwhile? Coming after DMac? Chainsaws are allowed (on even-numbered weekends). By the way, Trent Dilfer is freaking out on this topic on Monday Night Countdown as I type this. You know what's common in all the roughing calls? White QB. You know what's common in all the calls that weren't made and should have been? Black QB. I'm just sayin'.

Bears over Lions. Do *either* of those teams have any defense at all? Has the NFC North become the "no D" zone? 48-24? And all the Lions games have been like that so far. Unfortunately, the Lions may have lost their rookie QB to a knee injury. OK, maybe NEXT year is the year they get it together.

Bengals over Browns. It took them all but 4 seconds of the ENTIRE overtime to do it, but the Bengals are 3-1, kids. Yep, leading the tough AFC North with the Ravens. Hm - that whole tie thing? Maybe it's the Bengals....

Texans over Raiders. Well, yes. Good teams beat teams they're supposed to beat. Average teams beat teams that really suck (see below: Redskins over Rams). Did you hear? Texans are showing signs of H1N1. That's not good.

Colts over Seahawks. Is anyone else worried about the fact that Peyton Manning just plays on, no matter what? No Tony Dungy - no problem. No Marvin Harrison - no problem. Is he actually the Terminator?

Jaguars over Titans. Man. The Titans were a sexy pick for AFC South this year. Not for me - I picked the Texans. Because I'm crazy like that. But still. 0-4 is not good. Ouch.

Giants over Chiefs. Um, yeah. But they only beat them by 11 points. Slackers. Also, they're reporting that Eli Manning's heel problem is plantar fasciitis. I've had that, and it hurts like a mo-fo. And can take MONTHS to go away (particularly if you're still active). Good news for us!

Dolphins over Bills. Just when I give up on the Dolphins, they win a game. What's the over/under on TO throwing Trent Edwards under the bus?

Saints over Jets. Drew Brees had a relatively bad day, and the Saints made Mark Sanchez look like the rookie he is anyway. Call me crazy, but I see another post-season Eagles/Saints matchup in this year's NFC Championship game. You know how I was all "the Ravens have O - be afraid." Well, the Saints have D, so you know what to do. Duck & cover.

Broncos over Cowboys. Kyle Orton did everything he could to lose that game, and Champ Bailey and Wolverine were all, "No way, man." And thank you for that. It wasn't pretty, but it was a win. And Tonyboy had another bad game, which always makes me happy, because it's bad for his fragile ego. Edited to add: Wilbon's column this morning reminded me of something I should have mentioned - THE play of the game was Brandon Marshall's sweet go-ahead touchdown, where he smoked about 1/2 the Cowboys defenders, slipped about a dozen tackles, and found the end zone. Wanna watch it again? Me, too.

Wilbon also wondered why Romo chose to throw at Champ Bailey so much. I don't think Romo *wanted* to throw at Champ. I think his thought process went something like: "Hmmm - where to put the ball? Option A: throw towards Champ. Damn, he's be to, like, 9.7 million Pro Bowls. That's not good. Option B: Shit! Is that Brian Dawkins?!? When did he become a Bronco? I'm still having nightmares about him from the last game of the 2008 season. And the last game of the 2006 season. Is he stalking me? Isn't that illegal? Champ it is."

49ers over Rams. On Football Night in America, Keith Olbermann was all: Spags is like, "Is there a spot on your coaching staff?" to Mike Singletary. HEE! Also, true. Poor Spags. The Rams are epically bad. Hey, they lost to the Redskins.

Steelers over Chargers. So the Steelers problem this year has been blowing 4th quarter leads. And they went into the half at 21-0. And the Chargers had a terrible first possession after the half. And the Steelers scored again, going to 28-0. And Chef Spouse and I went up to bed, thinking the game was O-V-E-R. And the Chargers brought it back to 38-28. The Steelers are not getting past the Ravens (who should have won their game with the Pats this week had everyone not been too busy kissing Tom Brady's ass) this year.

Final thought: Go Pack! Edited to add: the Pack, sadly, did not go. Their main issue seems to be that their QB has trouble completing passes from a sitting position. I know they've had some injuries, but their O line is REALLY bad. Y'all need to give that boy some protection, or he'll be on IR by week 8! And even with that, they ALMOST pulled it off. Damn. Another week (or maybe season) of "That Brett Favre. Isn't he DREAMY?" from all the commentators.

2009 Week 4 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:58:00 +0000

NEVER have I been so glad to see an early bye week. Lots of guys need to get healthy, starting with Big 5...Westy...Peanut...Kevin Curtis...Celek (how could he not need a week off after the pounding he took against the Chiefs?). And did you see the Axeman is back? Dude, he's almost as old as I am. Hope his bionic knee holds up better than Westy's new ankle.

So, on to the picks (which are going to be brief this week, because I'm at a conference):

Lions/Bears: I'm pulling for the Lions to extend their streak to 2! Go Lions! (it's pretty unlikely, but I need an upset pick, right?)

Bengals/Browns: One of these teams is looking like they might not be too bad this year, and it's not the Browns. Bengals.

Raiders/Texans: The Raiders have the beginnings of a team if they could just fix their QB. The Texans have the beginnings of a team if they just had some defense. Fortunately, lack of defense won't be a problem this week. Texans.

Seahawks/Colts: Colts. Anyone who will wear lime green jerseys doesn't deserve to win.

Titans/Jaguars: There's NO way the Titans go to 0-4, right? Right? Titans.

Giants/Chiefs: Chiefs. SIKE! Giants.

Ravens/Patriots: Ravens. Patriots, your time at the top of the AFC has come to an end.

Buccaneers/Redskins: The Redskins will continue their new tradition of handing teams their first win. Bucs.

Bills/Dolphins: Bills will get to .500 against a Pennington-less Dolphins.

Jets/Saints: Damn, should this be a good game. Can anyone shut down the Saints blisteringly hot offense? The #3 ranked Jets defense stands the best chance of any of their opponents so far, but the thing is, the Saints D ranks a lot higher than the Jets O. To me, that says Saints, baby!

Cowboys/Broncos: Wolverine has had some of his best games in recent years picking off Tony Romo. I don't see that changing this week. Broncos.

Rams/49ers: Even without Frank Gore, the 49ers should walk all over the Rams.

Chargers/Steelers: C'mon Steelers! Pull yourselves out of your early season slump! Steelers.

Packers/Vikings: Oh man, do I want the Pack to win this week! I might have to borrow Ex-Navy Cheesehead's cheesehead to wear for the Monday night game. Bring it, Packers!

Other teams watching from the couch in the man cave this weekend: Cards, Falcons, Panthers

Sunday Schedule: October 4, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Never thought I'd be so happy to see an early bye week! Man, could we use it to help Big 5, Westy, Peanut, Kevin Curtis and I don't even know who all else get healthy!

Anyway, we'll still be watching the football Chez Snark, regardless...

1 pm: Likely Redskins/Buccaneers, but we'll also be keeping an eye on Giants/Chiefs (which will probably be a blow out)

4 pm: Cowboys/Broncos, but we'll also be keeping an eye on Jets/Saints

8 pm: Chargers/Steelers - should be a good game!

MNF: Packers/Vikings - should be another good game!

Menu: Chef Spouse is thinking grilled cheese & cream of tomato soup, because he's mostly been working from home the past few weeks and wants the soup for lunch! Bring something that will go with!

2009 Week 3 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:41:00 +0000

Eagles v. Chiefs, Sunday, September 27, 2009

In attendance: Shoegal, Chef Spouse, and two newbies - Mad Kitchen Scientist and The Executive Committee

Menu: This was our first BIG cooking weekend of the fall (could be related to the fact that it was also our first cool weekend here in DC). On Saturday, we had a dinner party featuring osso bucco, risotto Milanese, homemade baguettes, homemade chocolate cake, and other yummy-ness. Sunday was all about homemade pasta (both fettucini and butternut squash tortellini) with homemade sauces (sage/butter and sausage marinara), with a BIG salad and more homemade bread...and cake...and lots of wine. YUM! (also URP!)

Stud of the Game: Please? Who else could it be other than K2's favorite target, Brent Celek. Yeah, I think our tight end issues are solved. Not only did he catch pretty much everything that was thrown at him, he ALWAYS knew where the down marker was and was willing to drag the ENTIRE Chiefs' secondary with him to get there.

Well...it's good to be 2-1 (it would be better to be 3-0), and we played a complete game. And K2 looked like he might really be our future. And we won big without our A Team (McNabb, Westbrook, arguably Kevin Curtis). Against a shitty team, but still. And it's good to see our rookies (Maclin, McCoy, Macho - is that REALLY his name?) and second year guys (Peanut) playing really well. Kolb? First QB in NFL history to pass for over 300 yards in each of his first 2 starts. Peanut? Well on his way to becoming a truly elite receiver (which is amazing, considering he's 4 feet tall). The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Also, Goodell's decision to sit Mike who? Vick what? for the first two weeks was a good one. The morning pre-game shows? Man, I think I saw Vick interviewed on ESPN, the NFL Network, CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, and HGTV (hey, he has a really nice crib), and Animal Planet (ba-dum-CHA! I'll be here all week. Try the veal.). Would he have been a distraction? Um, yeah. And then? No completed passes and 1 rush for 7 yards. Whatever, dude. Someone else can pick you up next year. Apparently, you're Andy Reid's community service project.

So here's the thing: we can DEFINITELY use the early bye. Lots of guys need to get healthy again. But we've had a win over a possibly bad team (we'll see what happens on MNF), a win over a definitely bad team (Matt Cassel's not looking so special without the rest of the Patriots, is he?), and a loss to a good team. We have yet to score our first quality win. Are these guys talented? Hells, yeah. Do they have what it takes to go the distance? We'll see - things are pretty soft in October (BYE, Bucs, Redskins, Raiders). That November 1 matchup with the Giants looms large. Then again, under Big Red, we seem to mostly hit our stride late in the season. Could work in our favor this year.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Ravens over Browns. Well, yeah, sure. The Browns are having some issues, on, well, everything. Mangenius? Not anymore. But it wasn't the worst game of the week. Oh no, that's reserved for...

Giants over Buccaneers. The Bucs were shut out. SHUT OUT. Also? Bye, bye, Byron. Man, are the Bucs bad this year. Dumping EVERYONE and starting over may not have been the best decision ever. Speaking 0f bad games....

Lions over Redskins. You would not believe the weeping and wailing here in DC. Actually, you might. "Fail to the Redskins" is right. The craziest thing I've heard? Hogs Haven encouraging the Skins to "blow it up" and fire everyone from the towel boy to Vinny Cerrato. Yeah, that's a great idea. Except it won't solve your problem. Which would be your OWNER. Apparently, the fans haven't caught up on that account yet. Dan Snyder *might* be the problem. MIGHT? MIGHT!?!?!

Jaguars over Texans. Damnit! Just when I give up on the Jags, they start to show some signs of life.

Patriots over Falcons. Double damnit! Stupid Tom Brady. Stupid Bill Belichick. ARGH!

Packers over Rams. Duh. Apparently, Marc Bulger's hurt, and they're now playing Kyle Boller. When Kyle Boller seems like the answer, you're in trouble. Sorry, Spags - you've got your work cut out for you for sure.

Jets over Titans. Or maybe the Titans beat the Oilers. Was I the only one who was a little confused by the throwbacks? Marc Sanchez is off to a hot start.

Vikings over 49ers. OK, sure, but the Niners were without Frank Gore and Vicodin Boy has admitted that he threw that last pass up there with no idea where he was throwing it or who he was throwing it to. You know, Greg Lewis, if you'd made catches like that when you were in Philadelphia, you might STILL BE in Philadelphia.

Saints over Bills. Captain ME! ends his consecutive games with receptions at 185. And whines about it. Of course. To quote Rodney Harrison, "what a clown." And why was he wearing Atlin's sunglasses? (also, watching NFL Network Total Access right now. Mike Martz is a TERRIBLE commentator. Just FYI.)

Bears over Seahawks. OH MY GOD. THOSE WERE THE WORST UNIFORMS EVER. OH MY GOD. Are those seriously the new uniforms?!?!? MY EYES! MY EYES! They deserved to lose just for wearing that horrible, horrible mess. GAHHH!

Bengals over Steelers. Wait....what? The Steelers are #3 in the AFC North. What the frack is going on? I'm sorry, but there is no way that's all the loss of Polamalu. Big Ben spends far too much time on his ass. Is it starting to tell on him? Mike Tomlin's freshman/sophomore magic wearing off? I don't know, but all is not well in Blitzburgh these days.

Broncos over Raiders. Speaking of the Raiders, JaMarcus Russell has regressed. To the Bronze Age. It's bad. I'm amazed he can remember how to tie his cleats. Also, did you hear that head coach Tom Cable might have broken assistant coach Randy Hanson's jaw? Taking that "thug" thing a little too far, there, huh coach? And Dawk seems to be at least somewhat re-energized (which, if past is prologue, means we'll see him again in a year or two, once he gets homesick and decides the money isn't worth it), but even more importantly, seems to have accomplished what rookie head coach Josh McDaniels wanted: lighting a fire under the REST of the defense.

Chargers over Dolphins. Also, Chad Pennington, to quote Keith Olbermann, now looks like a big bag of mashed up Chad Pennington. Uh oh. LT? Who needs him?

Colts over Cardinals. Hey Kurt - what happened? 24 of 26 last week and this week? Not so much. Was I totally wrong about Peyton Manning and not doing as well without Marvin Harrison and Tony Dungy? Apparently, yes.

MNF starts in about 10. I really hope the Panthers can pull it together to beat the Cowboys.

2009 Week 3 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:20:00 +0000

Bob Ford, if you recall, was convinced we'd learned dire things about Kevin Kolb after last week's massacre at the Linc. I disagreed. I think we'll learn a lot THIS week. Assuming our defense shows up and our special teams remembers that "special" shouldn't equal "rides the short bus" in the NFL, K2 should be able to lead us to victory against the hapless 0-2 Chiefs. Hell, I should be able to lead us to victory. Andy Reid should be able to be under center and lead the Iggles to victory. Life Long Eagles Fan Mom should be able to lead the Iggles to victory. My 4 year old nephew Deuce should be able to lead the Iggles to victory. I'm just saying it shouldn't be that hard.

If K2 can't pull off his first win in the NFL against this softball pitch (to mix my sports metaphors for a minute), it's time to pull the plug. But I think he'll pull off a win. Eagles all the way, baby!

Browns/Ravens: Ravens. But Chef Spouse says he has a good feeling about the Browns. Then again, he's on his second Old Fashioned.

Redskins/Lions: Lions. Hey, they gotta win sometime, particularly if they're going to justify my confidence in picking them to win the NFC North. Chef Spouse says that after last week's Redskins performance, he wants to see the stats on the Lions and blocking field goals.

Jaguars/Texans: Texans! Also, I'm in for $20 if we're collecting to buy a bandwagon for them. But Chef Spouse has spill-over hate for them because Houston's so close (relatively speaking) to Dallas.

Falcons/Patriots: Falcons, yo. Tom Brady's looking like Kyle Orton so far this season. Chef Spouse agrees - he figures Satan feels dissed that Belichick had to call on their agreement just to beat the Bills and is blocking Belichick's calls.

Packers/Rams: Packers. Who will get to avenge their shocking loss to the Bengals on The Official Whipping Boys of the 2009 Season. Chef Spouse says, "it's a gimme."

Giants/Bucs - With both Phillips and Tuck out, this becomes a more interesting game. Which means it won't be a Giants blowout. But it will still be a Giants win. Chef Spouse agrees, but he has no love for the Bucs. His antipathy for them dates back to their NFC Championship win over us after the 2002 season, when they went on to win the Super Bowl, and he's convinced it was our year (although he is fond of Warren Sapp). The only exception? When the Bucs play the Cowboys.

Titans/Jets: J-E-T-S! JETS! JETS! JETS! Chef Spouse is calling the Titans. He *would* have picked the Jets, but no trash talk so far. He says: "No talking of the smack = no winning of the game."

49ers/Vikings: 49ers. But my anti-Favre bias might be clouding my judgement. Then again, AP is hurt. Chef Spouse says that, despite their entirely unknown QB, the 49ers have beaten better teams to get to 2-0 than the Vikings have. True dat.

Saints/Bills: Saints. I don't think the Bills can score 4,937 points in one game. And the Saints can. Chef Spouse doesn't know that number - it's not a multiple of 2 appearing on a subnet bit mask - but he agrees.

Bears/Seahawks: Bears. Do you know what the average age of the Seahawks is? 47. Chef Spouse agrees, figuring that Seneca Wallace is no Matt Hasselbeck.

Steelers/Bengals: OK, on ESPN's NFL Live, Herm Edwards picked the Bengals. Then again, Herm's record as a head coach indicates that he might not actually know that much about football. The Steelers have OWNED the Bengals since dinosaurs walked the earth. That's not going to change Sunday, Polamalu or no Polamalu. Chef Spouse figures they're pissed after their loss to the Bears, and the Bengals are going to bear the brunt of their wrath. Plus, he's spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh on business and feels bad for them - they have nothing but their sports teams (and Eleven) to recommend them, so he refuses to root against.

Broncos/Raiders: I actually think the Raiders might pull this off, but I'm picking the Broncos, mostly because I don't want to pick against Wolverine and Buck. Chef Spouse refuses to pick against Wolverine, too. And plans to wear his #20 jersey Sunday.

Dolphins/Chargers: Dolphins. They hung right in with the Colts on MNF. Chef Spouse figures that anyone who only beats the Raiders by 4 points can't be all that and is picking the Fins, too.

Colts/Cardinals: Both Kurt Warner and Peyton Manning had record setting games last week. Kurt completed 24 of 26 and Peyton won a game with under 15 minutes time of possession. Two words for you: Larry Fitzgerald. Cardinals. Chef Spouse calls Colts - he thinks Peyton will pull it out, no matter what Ken Whisenhunt throws at him.

Panthers/Cowboys: Attention Jake Delhomme! Pull it together, asshat! You CANNOT let the Cowboys take this one. Also, Julius Peppers? Tonyboy throws picks, and unlike the D-Mac rockets you could only bat down in week 1, he throws soft enough that you should be able to hang on. It may be crazy talk, but I'm calling Panthers. Chef Spouse has a tear in his eye, but he's calling the Cowboys. "Won't someone other than the NFC East please kick their asses? Man up, yo!"

Sunday Schedule: September 27, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:08:00 +0000

Our Iggles should be able to pull out a win this week against the hapless Chiefs, even if Big Red decides to take the snaps himself (now THAT would be wildcatting!). So look for a happier day Chez Snark. Game schedule:

1 pm: Eagles/Chiefs
4 pm: probably Broncos/Raiders, but I'm willing to put it to a vote, as none of our division teams are playing in the 4 pm slot
8 pm: Colts/Cardinals (should be interesting - hope Peyton's a night owl, since he seems to be scoring a lot of prime time games this year)

MNF: Panthers/Cowboys - if the Panthers can pull out a win against the Cowboys, I think there might be some life in their season.

Menu: we have a bit of a quandary this week. Two non-regular couples are planning to join us for the games. One couple consists of two big-time foodies. The other has requested a low-fat meal. (Silly friends! Don't they know that we are the House of Butter, NOT the House of Low-Fat?) Chef Spouse and I put on our thinking caps and came up with homemade pasta with a variety of sauces and a big green salad. Bring something that will go with (garlic bread, wine, dessert, etc.).

2009 Week 2 Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:40:00 +0000

Eagles/Saints - Sunday, September 20, 2009

In attendance: small crowd - only Shoegal, Chef Spouse, and me (a few others were expected, and, hey, what happened to y'all? Premonitions of doom kept you at home?)

Menu: fajitas, beer, guacamole, bourbon, booing

Stud of the week: hmmm....well, there was...no. But then...no, not him, either. What about the coaching...no way. Man, this is hard. I guess I'm going to have to go with Kevin Kolb, who faced a tough situation in his first start, and did the best he could.

Speaking of, the Philly sports writers were characteristically quick to pile on. Bob Ford feels that we've learned nothing about K2. I disagree. We learned that he was a rookie playing his first start. He wasn't Matt Ryan - although he did complete a sweet 71 yard hookup with Peanut for our first score - and he wasn't Akili Smith either - although he did throw 3 picks (but only 1 that really mattered). Typical rookie first outing. Some good plays, some bad plays, some atrocious decisions.

Chef Spouse and I were talking about the game while walking to the neighborhood liquor store (where everybody knows your name, or at least mine) for a stock up, and he observed that K2 looked best when playing a more traditional West Coast offense - the dink & dunk kind of short pass plays AR & Co have never had an patience for. We've been spoiled - we're a big play offense, and Andy seems to get bored with 3-4 yard gains pretty quickly.

Gonzo assures us we should feel free to boo the Birds, and he's right, but not because of Kevin Kolb. We should boo the Iggles because our special teams were wretched (Ellis Hobbes, I'm looking at you), and our defense was worse. If you recall, I pointed out that the key to this game was lock down D with some scoring on that end and a solid game from special teams. You can throw the entire game on Big 5's back and expect him to be able to work magic. You cannot do that with some poor kid making his first start. It's just cruel, particularly against a high scoring team like the Saints.

And can we talk about the Wildcat for a minute? Even Troy & Joe, aka the Idiot Twins, noticed that Marty had gone crazy for the Wildcat. At one point, they noted that it looked like Boise State out there (if only our D hadn't looked like Boise State - or maybe Boise Pop Warner). Did he really think that calling a trick play every other snap was the best way to let his rookie QB get comfortable and get into a rhythm? Of course, the Idiot Twins were speculating about how worried D-Mac must be watching this and wondering if the Eagles offense was going to be all Wildcat when he got back. Yeah, if you believe that, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you (never mind - Troy'd dumb enough he'd probably fall for that).

So I think the K2 experiment deserves to be continued, at least for a while. You know what experiment needs to end IMMEDIATELY? Sav Rocca. Sure, every once in a while he booms a 60 yarder. But far too often he dinks a 20 yarder. I see where the front office was going with the whole Aussie rules thing, but call it what it is - a mistake - and move on.

Also, Kevin Curtis, perhaps you should try to remember how to catch the football. That or find a new job. I hear Best Buy is hiring. And while you're at it, get a haircut, young man! And get off my lawn!

There were a few key plays the just KILLED us:

During the second quarter, K2 completed a pass to McCoy. While being tackled, he fumbled. Maclin picked up the ball and was headed for the end zone. Except the play was blown dead, runner down by contact, which he quite clearly was not. Eagles would have gone ahead 14-10.

At the end of the second quarter, Drew Brees completed a 29 yard pass to Reggie Bush that set up a 25 yard TD to Marques Colston. The only reason Brees got the pass off rather than being turfed was a badly blown call by the officials who missed an obvious facemask committed on (I think) Omar Gaither that clearly and obviously prevented him from getting to Brees. Hell, the Idiot Twins saw it and remarked on it, and Aikman HATES the Birds. The zebras pretty much handed the Saints 7 points.

Even with all that, we were hanging in there down only by 4 at the half and due to start the second half with the ball.

Until Ellis Hobbes fumbled the kick off return and handed the Saints 7 more points.

And then, on our next possession, K2 threw the only pick that mattered, handing the Saints another 7 points. The Saints had scored 14 points in under 3 1/2 minutes. Don might've been able to pull us back from a 31-13 deficit (although the way the D was playing, it's pretty unlikely). But that was a horrible position for K2 to be in, with no realistic way to recover, again, given how poorly the D was playing.

And then our last two possessions ended with picks, which was really just adding insult to injury.

Speaking of injury, BWest and Peanut are both hurt. Peanut's got a touchy groin, and BWest is already having trouble with his surgically repaired ankle. I wonder if he can get his money back. Do those things come with a guarantee?

So in answer to the question of: Can the Eagles win without D-Mac? The answer is: not against a high-powered offense, particularly if our D decides to play possum all day. Fortunately, that whole "opponent with a high powered offense" won't be a problem next week, and hopefully K2 will get to win a game. Otherwise he might want to consider entering the witness protection program, to shield himself from the wrath of Philly fans.

Around the rest of the NFL...

Texans over Titans: HAHA, suckas! I rock! Maybe this is really their breakout year, not just my one annual completely wild-ass pick. Do the Texans even *have* a bandwagon to jump on?

Cardinals over Jaguars: WAY over. Kurt Warner LIT it UP. I don't know what happened with the Jags. Apparently their team was with our D, wasting away in Margaritaville.

Raiders over Chiefs: Yet another upset (sort of) score for me! Go me! (Well, if anything in either of the west divisions could be considered an "upset" in any other sense than, you know, pissed off).

Bengals over Packers: OK, now THAT's an upset. And Ochocinco did a Lambeau Leap, as promised. I know a lot of people think he's a complete ass, but he cracks my shit up. We all get so serious about this - he seems to be one of the few people in the gridiron universe (myself included) who remembers that this is a GAME and maybe we should all be having FUN.

Vikings over Lions: Will the Lions *ever* win a game? Well, they do play the Redskins next week...and speaking of....

Redskins over Rams: is it possible to be depressed about a win? Yes, it is. Welcome to the 2009 Redskins season. Only putting up 9 points on the Rams (The Official Whipping Boys of the 2009 Season)? Does not bode well for the next 14 games.

Jets over Patriots: Sometimes, talking a lot of smack works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Tom Brady's not looking so magical these days, is he? Not so easy to come back from a major injury, is it there, Rocks? Maybe everyone should give D-Mac a little more respect? (They already do, outside his home market.)

Falcons over Panthers: NFC South is looking pretty strong this year. Could they rep the NFC in the Super Bowl? Much as I hope *we* will rep the NFC in the Super Bowl, I'm thinking maybe.

Bills over Bucs: The Bills seem much improved. Hopefully their fans will catch on before the franchise gets moved to Toronto.

49ers over Seahawks: Frank Gore is BAAAAACK. The rest of the NFC West should tremble. Everyone else, not so much. Also? Matt Hasselback cracked a rib, too. Wanna bet on who comes back first? No takers? Thought not.

Ravens over Chargers: It was a BILLION degrees on the field. Seriously. We're talking surface of the sun out there. Only thing hotter? The play. The Ravens now have offense. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Bears over Steelers: Well, that was unexpected. Really. Majorly unexpected. Wow. The nearly-Akers-level-reliable Jeff Reed misses a FG, and the Bears pull it out. Guess the Steelers really are missing Polamalu big time.

Broncos over Browns: Buck had a good day. Go, Former Eagles!

Giants over Cowboys: Downside? I picked wrong. Upside? The Giants provided a proper housewarming for Jerry Jones's new Palace o' Football/Monument to His Tremendously Huge Ego. TonyBoy threw 3 picks. I don't think he cried, but it was so hot and everyone was sweating so much, it's hard to be sure. Which shows that the Cowboys are definitely beatable. Are the Giants? I think so. Time will tell.

Watching Colts/Dolphins right now. Gruden needs to calm the F down. Stop shouting, man. I'm right here. Is he better than Tony K? Not sure. What do you say, football fans: who would you add to the solid Tirico/Jaws combo? In the meantime, wondering where Hank Baskett went? Colts. I wonder if he'll play tonight. Also? We're about 10 seconds into the game and BOTH teams have scored. Dear D: THE GAME STARTED. CATCH UP. That is all.

2009 Week 2 Picks

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth Weaver Engel, CAE) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:45:00 +0000

Eagles/Saints - despite my ongoing chick fight with NOLA at Chicks in the Huddle, I give us, at best a 40% chance of winning Sunday. We're going to need a big day from the D and our special teams to stay in it. And the QB situation? Well, you know my thoughts on that already. Although Kevin Kolb has not ever had a full week of practice and full-on game prep with the first team offense, so who knows? He could pull a Koy Detmer/AJ Feeley/Jeff Garcia on us.

But honestly, worst case scenario is that DMac comes back in week 5 to a team that's 1-2. (And 2-1 seems far more likely, as I don't see us losing to the Chiefs, even if I play QB.) I can live with that. In the meantime, Brees, prepare to meet Trent Cole. It's an experience I don't think you're going to enjoy. And Reggie Bush, I'm sure you remember Sheldon Brown.

Fly, Eagles, Fly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for an unexpected victory this weekend.

Texans/Titans - Hm. I picked the Texans to win AFC South. How demoralized do you think the Titans are from that OT loss to the Steelers? Yeah - not that demoralized. But I'm still calling the Texans, because I'm just that crazy.

Cardinals/Jaguars - Sheesh. Jags lost to Colts last week, and Cards lost to 49ers. Based on that, I should call Jags, because I don't care *how* much the 49ers have purportedly improved this year, the Colts are still better. OK, I just talked myself into it. Jaguars.

Raiders/Chiefs - Raiders. Definitely. They looked WAY better against the Chargers last week than they have in years. Now if JaMarcus Russell could stop overthrowing his receivers by an entire time zone, they might have something out there in Oakland.

Bengals/Packers - Packers. Definitely. That Aaron Rodgers kid might just work out after all.

Vikings/Lions - Whew. I called the Lions to win NFC North. And I still don't think the Vikings are all that - they're working a solid defense and Adrian Peterson and not much else. And the Lions do know how to capitalize on their opponent's mistakes (right Saints?). And Vicodin Boy is prone to making mistakes. Yeah...Vikings anyway.

Rams/Redskins - The Redskins better win, or both Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell could find themselves without a job by bedtime Sunday. Also, the Rams are REALLY bad. Of course, the Redskins looked a lot worse last week against the Giants than that relatively close 23-17 final indicates. But they're not THAT bad. Redskins.

Patriots/Jets - I hope that Rex Ryan can shut his trap long enough to come up with a good game plan for Sunday, because I'd like to see the Jets topple the Patriots. And if they watch the tape, they should notice that the Pats aren't looking nearly as unstoppable as they have recently. But the whole thing with the Pats is that you have to play 60 full minutes of football. Think the Jets have it in them? Yeah, me too - Jets.

Panthers/Falcons - Falcons. And $20 says Jake Delhomme gets benched in favor of AJ by halftime.

Buccaneers/Bills - The Bills really surprised last week. Much as it pains me to pick a team that was dumb enough to sign Captain ME!, I'm going with the Bills.

Seahawks/49ers - This might actually be as good as it gets in the NFC West. Which means I'm sure as hell not bothering to watch it. 49ers.

Ravens/Chargers - This should be a good game. The Chargers can thrill, but they can also disappoint. The Ravens, well, the Ravens generally don't disappoint. Which to me indicates a Ravens win.

Steelers/Bears - Jay Cutler on his bad debut against the Packers last week: "It's not going to keep me down." Uh no, that would be the job of two guys named LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison. The Steelers are going to miss Troy Polamalu big time, but they aren't going to need him to get past the Cutler-led Urlacher-less Bears. Steelers.

Browns/Broncos - Yep, the Browns still suck bad enough that they're going to lose to a team QBed by Kyle Freakin' Orton that required an act of God to get past the Bengals last week. Broncos.

Giants/Cowboys - OK, so I missed the Cowboys/Bucs game last week, but I have to tell you, the Giants did not look brilliant in their win over the Redskins, even by comparison. And I've already covered how bad the Redskins looked. Barring a natural disaster that takes out both teams (OHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASEOHPLEASE), I'm thinking Cowboys.

Colts/Dolphins - I think the Dolphins are going to surprise the Colts. Mind you, I didn't say they were going to *win*. But I heard a rumor they're planning to flamingo-bomb Peyton's lawn. Colts.