Snooker in Berlin

Did you know Santa has dyslexia?

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 19:45:00 +0000

I've been given the wonderful task of coming up with the perfect holiday card text for my workplace. It is supposed to have no "Christmassy" feel since there are so many religions. It should be good for our past customers, while acknowledging that some recipients have not yet been our customers. Lovely right?

In my search for a good place to start (Don't you just LOVE the Internet? What did we do before?), I found this wonderful little treasure trove of funny Christmas card messages.

So if you're having trouble coming up with the perfect message to send to friends and family, perhaps you would like to use one of these:

1. This is a special Christmas card message. I found it on the Internet.

2. Santa was laid off this year. Good thing we have a stimulus package under the Christmas Tree.

3. Energy and environmental experts predict that, at current consumption rates, Santa will run out of sustainable coal for stockings by 2020. Stop being so naughty!

4. I bought you a car for Christmas this year… I meant CARD. Oops, did I say car?

5. I bought this envelope for you and they threw in the Christmas card for free.

6. I’m not sure what you wanted for Christmas, so I just got you this card.

7. I would tell you, “Merry Christmas,” but I don’t think it will work out between you two.

8. Did you know Santa has dyslexia? He spells his name S-a-t-a-n.

9. Too bad we can’t show each other the same Christian love on the road and in stores the way we do at Christmas time.

10. He knows when you are sleeping… He knows when you’re awake… He knows when you’ve been bad or good… He knows how much you make… I’ll give you one guess. That’s right, big brother, the government.

11. "It's ironic that at the same time our bellies are gaining weight during the holidays, our wallets are going on a diet and losing weight. Happy Holidays"

12. "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's Resolution Failure."

13. "What do you get when you take Christmas time and take away all the hassle of shopping and busyness of the traditions? A Holy Day. Happy Holidays!"

14. "If you divorce Christmas using the Santa Clause, Christmas becomes X-mas. Then you can marry Holly Day!"

15. "Wishing you a holiday season filled with stress, cold, and anger. Hey, at least this is realistic."

16. "Sorry kids, Santa died. But the good news is now you can listen to Santana songs instead of Santa songs at Christmas time."

17. "I think the holidays were created to punish those who have been naughty. I must be on the naughty list every year, cause I feel punished."

18. "I got an idea, let's make a day every year where people are pressured socially to be kind, generous, happy, and patient. Oh yeah, that's already been done. Merry Christmas."

19. "Santa is just another example that fat dudes are the jolliest. Have a jolly Christmas."

Messages from the boss:

1. Enjoying the holidays is at least one thing that is not in your job description, but we're adding it this year. Here's to enjoying the season. Happy Holidays!

2. Thanks for rescheduling your Christmas break to March so you could work this holiday season. Merry St. Patrick's Day!

3. Sorry to let you know this in this holiday card, but we're relocating to the North Pole, and we've outsourced your job to Santa's Elves. We got a tax break and the elves work for low pay and don't need benefits. Happy Holidays.

LGBT Rights Pioneer Frank Kameny Died on National Coming Out Day 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 05:38:00 +0000

President Obama hands Frank Kameny
the pen which he used to sign a
presidential memorandum
extending benefits to same-sex partners
of federal employees.

One of the first strategists in the gay rights movement in America, Frank Kameney (86), died yesterday.

I first learned of Mr. Kameny while watching "Before Stonewall", a documentary about the pioneers of the Gay Movement before the 1969 Stonewall Inn Riots on Christopher Street in New York City. Since then I have seen his name pop up again and again in the fight for basic civil rights in America.

He worked tirelessly to increase the acceptance of gay men and lesbians in mainstream American society and to gain homosexual equality through the legal system.

Mr. Kameny, a Harvard PhD lost his federal government job as an astronomer with the U.S. Army Map Service in 1957 because of his homosexuality.

After being let go he led a tireless fight for gay and lesbian rights. He and a friend began the Mattachine Society of Washington, and in 1965 Kameny and his group were the first ever to picket the White House and the Pentagon in the name of gay rights.

This was of course years before a true gay rights movement existed in any recognizable form. It was also a time in which being an open homosexual could be seen as an invitation for getting the shit beat out of you. He instructed his picketers to wear appropriate business attire including suits and ties in order to not draw attention to themselves in a negative way.

It was his assertion that gays and lesbians should not accept the stigma of being sick because of their homosexuality and subsequently organized a drive which eventually caused the American Psychiatric Association to declassify homosexuality as a mental illness.

He lived to see not only benefits extended to same-sex partners of federal employees, but also the end to Don't Ask Don't Tell, allowing gays and lesbians to openly serve in the military.

There is a street in Washington D.C. which has been named for this hero of the gay movement, documents and papers of his were part of an exhibition on civil rights at the Library of Congress, and his picket signs from 1965 are now in the Smithsonian Institution.

I call on Congress to come up with a Frank Kameny bill which would finally offer basic civil rights protection for America's LGBT citizens. What a fitting tribute to the work of a man who coined the phrase, Gay is Good.

"Not only are the government's present policies on homosexuality irrational in themselves, but they are unreasonable in that they are grossly inconsistent with the fundamental precepts upon which this government is based...we may commence with the Declaration of Independence, and its affirmation , as an "inalienable right" that of the "pursuit of happiness". Surely a most fundamental, unobjectionable, and unexceptionable element in human happiness is the right to bestow affection upon and to receive affection from whom one wishes. Yet, upon pain of severe penalty, the government itself would abridge this right for the homosexual"
-From Kameny's Petition for a Writ of Certiorari to the United States Supreme Court, January, 1961

World Cat Day 2011 Disappointment

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 19:43:00 +0000

Hello to my faithful readers. You may or may not know that my humans went on holiday for a week to someplace in the mountains. I have no idea why they would do that when they could go to one of those beach places and enjoy playing in a huge kitty toilet. But they never ask my opinion. Silly humans.

Speaking about silly humans. August 8th should be a day burned into the little brains of every human. It is World Cat Day! Don't shake your head and say you didn't know, of course you know, it is the most important day there is! I really didn't find it humourous that none of my humans acknowledged this fantastic day. I mean, it is like birthday and Christmas all wrapped up in one. How could they forget? No, being on holiday is no exception. Oh well, they will soon find that lovely little surprise I left under their bed. Maybe next year they will work harder to make it a special day for me.

I wanted to write to you earlier, but as I was staying at my holiday home I couldn't seem to figure out the mouse on Opa's computer. I've always considered my paws to be superior to human hands, but I guess not having thumbs holds me back while doing people things. Also I'm not as young as I used to be, so I just don't have patience for these matters. In the end I had to wait until my main humans got back so I could use human B's laptop, the ironically named mouse pad is easier for my superior paws.

Oma and Opa were very excited for me to visit, so I graced them with my presence, allowing them to cater to my every whim since it seems to make them so happy.

I especially enjoy what I call the balcony game. This is where I stand expectantly in front of the balcony door as though I wish to go outside, you know, for the fresh air. If no one gets up to assist me immediately I let out one of my best frustrated meows which usually gets one of them jumping.

Then of course I need to let them know I am not happy about the delay, so once the door is open, I hesitate, looking up at whoever opened the door as if to say "about time". Usually I wait until they get annoyed and act like they are closing the door before I signal my intention that NOW I'm ready to go outside.

I get fresh moist food twice a day with dry food always available, thankfully Opa is not skimpy with that dry food. I really hate it the way human B lets that bowl get wayyyy too empty if you know what I mean. But Opa is great, I never see the bottom of the bowl when he's around. It's how I know that he loves me.

It is nice to know that they take their jobs seriously. Opa is always watching as I exit the cat box so he can immediately clean it. This is a service I wish I could get at home, but after 15 years of trying to train my human, I've given up.

Oma also knows exactly what makes me happy. She often slips me special goodies because she says I'm getting too thin. Before I come for my visit she stocks up with lots of fish and liverwurst. I've gotten to know lots of great German fishies, wursts and cheeses through her.

She even feeds me what she calls "German sushi". This must be great stuff because years ago I heard Opa being upset that Oma was feeding me what he called herring rolls and that they were too expensive to feed a cat. I was mad at him for a while after that, let me tell you. So the next time I went to the toilet I let a little bit go outside of the box. It is one of the best kitty revenge possibilities.

If they do complain I never have to hear it, in fact I never have to hear anything again, especially that really annoying neighbor dog with his incessant barking. I mean, didn't his bitch teach him anything?

It's really convenient to be deaf. In the old days when I wanted to ignore the humans as they screamed that I shouldn't be on the table, I had to work hard to control my ear movement so it wouldn't betray me. Now I don't worry about it at all.

Being deaf isn't too bad, as you can see it has its advantages. In 2005, not long after I moved to Germany I got a kitty cold with a high fever. Eventually I got better, although my hearing didn't.

Oma and Opa's apartment is in the roof area of their building, so between the slightly warmer temperatures and the actual day of sun or two while my main humans were gone, my normally sleek coat decided to finally do the summer shedding. I couldn't keep up with it and the fur flew! When human A came to pick me up after their holiday I proved my LOVE for her by sharing my beautiful beige fur with her dark blue shirt. I always think it looks so nice to have a bit of me on everything, and shedding season can really bring out the best.

The bad thing about shedding season is the brushing. They act like I can't take control of the situation or something. Also they seem to have a problem with the regurgitated hair balls I leave throughout the apartment, so they do their best to keep me distracted while they brush me. On top of that, after five minutes of brushing they pull the vacuum cleaner out and go after me with that! Now don't get me wrong, when I was younger - and could hear - I would have been under the nearest chair when that noisy thing came around. But without all of that racket to bother me, it isn't a wholly uncomfortable experience to get a little fur sucking action.

The humans took a long time to adapt, longer than me even. At first I caught them a few times as they were testing me. Once they were shaking a key ring over my head when I wasn't supposed to be looking. The silly humans didn't even think about shadows, geeze, I knew they were doing something over my head when the outline of my lovely, velvety ears was overshadowed by that silly IQ fish on human A's key ring. It took two whole years for them to figure out that vacuum thing for Sphynx's sake.

After a while I didn't really like to go outside for walks in my kitty harness and line the way I did when I was younger. The pretty blue harness that compliments my eyes so well has been hidden in the cabinet that smells like cat nip for at least three summers now.

These days my humans seem to be surprised that I know when they come home. Silly humans forget that they stink. Every morning they gross me out as they remove their furs to stand under the really fast special water dropping thing. After that they smell like soap, but by the time they get home after work, they stink. Especially human B who must run home or something, she always comes with special shoes that have metal on the bottom and sets her hard hat down in the hallway at my level. Let me tell you, I made the mistake of closer nose inspection of these things just once.

Otherwise I know they are home simply because I keep one kitty eyelid looking at the door at all times. I always lie down facing the door so I don't get any nasty surprises. The only time I can really relax and sleep heavily is at night when human A provides her arm for my head. I know that if any danger should come, she would wake me up.

I'm a little tired now.
It's time to paws and reflect.

When I'm not at my holiday home, I spend most of my time on the bed of my main human. It's nice and warm there and it smells like the human I like to sleep with. I wish they would get a bed warmer thingie before winter. Surely I could figure out how to keep it turned on throughout the day to help keep these old bones warm.

Now I will wait for next year's World Cat Day with great anticipation. Maybe some of you can help me figure out how to punish my humans for missing it this year? Ideas?

"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."
- George Mikes from "How to be Decadent"

NiO

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 16:23:00 +0000

I'm going to vent a bit here.
This morning on my way to work I was blown away watching the behavior of two of Charlottenburg's Ordnunsämter.

For those not in the know, the Ordungsamt is a bit like a police agency who have the lovely "meter maid" type duties, e.g., ticketing people who park illegally, cross the street against the light, dogs shitting on the sidewalk without the owner cleaning it up (oh, excuse me... that is indeed illegal, but it is laughable to think that the Ordungsamt actually does anything about that), if the behavior is "out of order"... thus "nicht in Ordnung", these guys are the ones you have to watch out for.

Ordnung is very important to the great majority of Germans. If you witness someone falling and you ask if everything is OK, the most likely response (if they are actually OK) will be "alles in Ordnung". Another important phrase is "Ordnung muss sein" (there must be order). The stereotype holds true for most of the Germans I've known... they want EVERYTHING in order.

Which makes the following even MORE silly when you realize that it happened on German streets with people specifically beset with the challenge of keeping OTHERS "in Ordnung".

There is a school zone on one of the streets I travel every day. In that same area is what I believe to be a Jewish school or Synagogue. I know this only because there are two Berlin policemen standing at the door every day. The only other place I've seen 'da po po's hanging around would be the Mayor's apartment.

Often I watch with a smile on my face and a healthy bit of Schadenfreude as cars fly by me, completely ignoring the school speed limit until they get to the place that they can suddenly see the police, then immediately the brake lights come on and they end up going the school speed limit for the next few meters, having little idea that the policemen couldn't actually care less about the speeding infraction because they are there for a different purpose.

Experience has taught me that only the cars which ignore the speed limit completely and actually go faster than 50 will make it to the next light before it turns red. I know that no matter what, Mimi the scooter and I will NEVER make this light even if the school zone speed limit is not yet valid (too early in the morning, or late in the evening), because I can't go over 50 even if I wanted to.

This morning as I was sitting in "pole position" at the red light before the school zone street, I looked to my left and saw in the next lane a car from the Ordnungsamt. I recognized the passenger as an Ordnunsämter who about a month ago went to the trouble of leaving the street and getting off his bicycle to give me hell because I drove (instead of walked) my scooter 10m (10 yards) on the 15m wide walkway as I parked it legally (in this same area) one rainy morning (with no pedestrians in sight, mind you).

As the light turned green I realized that it was a moment to see how well these men in charge of order actually remain "in ordnung" because we would be coming to the aforementioned school speed zone very quickly.

While passing the sign they didn't slow down at ALL, in fact, still accelerating WAY past the 30 restriction and putting a big distance between themselves and the cars behind them. Then I saw their brake lights come on suddenly and assumed they had realized their error. No, that error was mine. They were slowing down to wave at the two REAL Berlin police officers I talked about earlier. As soon as the wave was returned, they sped up again and made it to the next light JUST in time to go through it as it was yellow (turning red AS they were in the intersection).

Basically I want to know WHY I HAVE TO OBEY THE RULES, YET THEY DO NOT?

Been reading:

A moving "coming out story from the Onion (thanks Regensblogers!)
Stand With Me, Jose Antonio Vargas, for a New Conversation about Immigration

What Kind of Fresh Gay Hell is This? (OR Why are you in Germany, Snooker?)

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 18:08:00 +0000

Today I received an email from Democrats Abroad (the overseas branch of the US Democratic Party). In it was a warning that discussed how the consulate services would change for people wanting to bring foreign family with them when they move back to the U.S.

In that letter was a simple text which caught my eye, "We have a long-standing commitment as Democrats Abroad to simplifying the path to citizenship and legal permanent residency for non-American spouses and close family members".

Uh huh... and gay and lesbian spouses?
Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot?

I did a little Googling and found not so much as a
news piece on how DA is supporting legislation in the House and Senate right now... the Uniting American Families Act of 2011.

OK, so I don't regularly pump money into the DA, but I do support them occasionally. Upon reading this email, I am struck by the notion of "What have you done for me lately, DA?"

I'll give DA a break because actually there are relatively few people/organizations who care about my plight. But before I delve deeper into my special situation, perhaps you should know more about it. Let's go to bullets, shall we?

Fell in love with a German girl in 2000
She came to visit me in the States often in 2001 and 2002, I also visited her in Berlin during these years
Tried to legally have her move to America starting in 2003 with a student visa (no other legal methods available - university is free or cheap in Germany, but we are willing to pay for the education if it means we can be together).
Based on the fact that she had entered the country six times in the past two years she was considered a "risk of overstay" and denied a student visa which also cancels her out of the visa waiver program forever... she can't come to America for at least year because of this denial.
Shortly after the denial she pays more money for the privilege to go to the Consulate - armed with proof that she intends to return to Germany - to appeal the denial of both the student visa and the visa waiver program.
She met with the same woman who had denied the original request... you guessed it, denied once again. (K**** ******, if Sweet No ever sees you on the street, she won't be such a Sweet No anymore.)
On the other side of the Atlantic, I tried Lambda Legal Defense who told me that if either she or I had a penis, this would all be really easy... but gays can't petition to bring their future spouses to America... Sorry Snooker.
Found out that the states which have recently been allowing gay marriage have nothing to do with our situation. Immigration is at the federal level, and thanks to the Defence of Marriage Act, (DOMA) the feds (and the other states) don't have to recognize any homosexual marriage performed in those states, not to mention other countries. Sorry again, Snooker.
Tried a shyster immigration lawyer who was happy to take my money and petition "da gubermint" for us, but to no avail.
Sweet No goes back to the American Consulate in Berlin after her year banishment from travel to America and meets up with a nice guy who seems to sense her desperation and takes pity on her, issuing her a 10 year "B1/B2 visa", allowing her to travel to the States again, and with much more lenient travel restrictions (maximum length of stay 6 months instead of the normal 3 months).
Happy Dance... but still, it doesn't REALLY keep us together.
Sweet No wants to work and be a contributing member of society, just coming in for VISITS is simply frustrating. Of course entering and overstaying illegally are not even up for consideration.
In 2004 I got sick and tired of watching my girl walking to airport security through the tears in my eyes and decided to move to Germany to be with her. FuckYouWashington
Sold everything, gave up my career, said goodbye to friends and family in preparation to leave.
2005 the cat and I leave the "Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave" to be in Germany which accepts my love of a woman. Germany also allows me to have a "separate, but equal" civil partnership with Sweet No. Immigration is pretty much the only benefit of the Lebenspartnerschaft, but it was a good thing in our case. (Thankfully the Greens keep making another go of equalizing this situation in Germany, maybe some day they will get lucky.)
January of 2005 we signed our civil partnership and had our - yes, we share a birthday - birthday on that same day. Great birthday present, no?
Because of her special visa we are rather lucky, she isn't under suspicion as are many others in our situation. If foreign same-sex spouses come to the United States accompanying a U.S. citizen, (even for a short visit of the U.S. citizen's family), U.S. Immigration might deny visa privileges to the spouse out of fear that they will be tempted to overstay their visa dates to remain in the country with their spouse (perhaps even challenging the anti-gay marriage laws as we are LEGALLY partnered in another country). Thus, gays and lesbians (especially politically active ones) have been known to be turned away at the gates.
Wish us luck, that visa expires in just a few years.

In the end I had to face lots of the same problems as other "love exiles". I had to give up my career and move far away from my family. This is being felt even more now that my Mother is dealing with declining health and I would like to be there for her. But as it is, if I need to be in the U.S. for a longer period of time, I have to choose between being with my wife or being with my American family. It's really rather unfair, and it makes me into a second-class citizen... one who STILL needs to pay American taxes even though I don't live in the country.

So where are you going with this, Snooker?
I really don't know. It is just that something has been awakening in me lately.

Those who came before helped to blaze the trail for me and others like me to be openly gay, often at great

Political cartoon by Darrin Bell

personal sacrifice to themselves. Those pissed off queens turning the tables on police during a scam raid on the Stonewall Inn in the late '60's and starting the "Gay Revolution" are a fine example. Barbara Gittings and her friends stood up and said that they wouldn't take being considered second class citizens - and worse yet, mentally unstable - during the '60's (which lead The American Psychiatric Association to officially declassify homosexuality as a mental illness in 1974 - but it wasn't until 1992 that the World Health Organisation followed suit). The good people of GLAAD and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force have done so much to further the cause. And who could forget Harvey Milk and the work he did for the community before being gunned down himself.

Let's not forget the organizations working tirelessly on this very topic:
Immigration Equality Action Fund
Out4Immigration
Love Exiles Foundation

So what are you doing, Snooker? is a question I often ask myself. Yeah, I'm living pretty well, but only because I ran. I am part of a US binational same-sex couple who had the money and ability to simply move away from the situation and now the whole anti-gay thing doesn't have so much of a grip on me.

This has reminded me of a book I have recently seen advertised, "Torn Apart - United by Love, Divided by Law" by Judy Rickard. Perhaps I should just order it now, proceeds go to organizations working to overcome U.S. immigration denial for same-sex binational couples. (tick, tock... time passes... cue shot to a clock with moving pendulum) OK, the Internet has worked its magic. The book is probably whizzing my way right now. It was even available at Amazon.de.

But what about the others? What about those folks left behind who would like to have the same rights as the supposed "normal" people in our society? What about those kids right now who are counting on my generation to do our part to further gay civil rights to benefit their generation? UGH, that is a terrible weight to bear. But I say here and now that I will do more towards this goal. I DO still have a vote in American politics (my wallet feels it, even if I sometimes don't), I DO still have a voice in what happens. Perhaps I just need to raise that voice a bit more often.

Any suggestions how I can do that?

The End of an Era

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 16:38:00 +0000

In the past few days I had the chance to see the final Harry Potter movie... in 3D, no less.

The word bittersweet comes to mind when I think of the end in a series which I really enjoyed watching.

I hated Snape, wished I'd had a leader like Dumbledore, wanted Ron to be good at Quidditch, understood Hermione, and knew that no matter what, Harry would do the right thing for the right reasons.

Being a wizard (or witch in my case) would have been sooo convenient. There have been times in my life where I wish I could use the "Reparo" spell. Of course "Accio TV Remote" would have been cool, or there are so many times I could have used the "Point Spell" which would make a wand into a compass. These spells even worked their way into my everyday conversation. I remember once telling a friend to stop being mean or I would "... get all Avada Kedavra on their ass".

Not bad for a franchise that in the beginning I had poo poo'd.

When I first heard about Harry Potter it was the as "The Philosopher's Stone" came out. I worked in morning radio at an "adult contemporary" station (read women/moms 25-45). It was our job to know the pulse of our listener, and these ladies were talking about a movie their kids had been begging to see. A British flick about some teenager who goes to a school to learn magic.

OK, so how do we "own this" as the jock used to say? Well, we could have a look-alike contest on the opening night. Sure. Who's going to judge it? Um... none of us, we had NO idea what it was even about, let alone what the kid looked like. So we coupled with a local movie theater to give us a party room before the film, found a mom who seemed to know what she was talking about to judge the thing, got the theater to provide a prize package which we sweetened with some other stuff we had lying around. Alright, that's settled... now who should go? Crickets.

Let's send Snooker! Yes ladies and gentlemen, our high-priced talent would not be caught dead darkening such a scene... so they sent the producer who had actually put all the other stuff together, so surely she would be the best choice, right? Yeah, my job was pretty glamorous, haha.

The night of the movie premiere the place was swarming with kids. Out of all of them, there were about 20 who had been creative enough to enter the contest. Some had recycled Halloween vampire costumes and wore a scarf in what I later learned to be Gryffindor-colored stripes. Others had gone all out and found round glasses.

One kid - the winner it turned out - had actually used makeup to make a lightning-shaped scar on this forehead. It didn't matter that he was blond, the judge-mom said that was the best idea, so he was the winner. (I really wish that I still had the pictures I took at these events) The rest of the kids ended up getting tickets and a free popcorn from the theater, they all received radio station bumper stickers... 'cause EVERY kid NEEDS a bumper sticker, you know.

No, sadly I didn't watch the movie that night. I headed home after a super long day of work (morning radio starts before people wake up... ahem... dark thirty, so to speak). I came to regret that decision.

When the second movie came out, I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me and did a Dollar Theater visit. This was the Chamber of Secrets, and not a bad movie at all. OK, I said, I will catch up on the first one, and watch the others as they come out, which I did faithfully.

Once I made it to Germany in 2005 I found myself with lots of time on my hands which lead me to perusing my new wife's book shelf. She had purchased the first Harry Potter and gotten partway through it before coming to the conclusion that she doesn't really enjoy fantasy, and it had been gathering dust on the shelf ever since. I poured through it and hungered for more (like so many others before me). Not having much extra money, and seeing the waiting list after doing some research at the only English library in town, I realized that my options were limited.

I downloaded the 2nd book, yes illegally... no, I don't think JK Rowling will be hurt by it. Pre-Kindle days, books could be read on an Palm device, and I had a nice one. I had been reading Gutenberg-downloaded classics for a while, so it made sense to try. Google search brought me to a few places where I could download all HP books to date as .pdf and view them on my Palm, so that is what I did. One after the other, I read them. Carrying around my Palm and pulling it out whenever I had an extra three minutes... waiting for a train, standing in line, waiting for a movie to start, anywhere, anytime. I even read in bed, the backlight feature allowing me to read all night long if I wanted to, if my nose was cold I read under the covers... just like Harry. Well, I didn't have the cool wand and the "Lumos" spell, but it was a close second.

Of course these .pdf's were usually simply re-typed by some person with more time on their hands than typing talent, so there were errors, but that didn't matter to me. Then there was the time I started reading "The Order of the Phoenix" and quickly realized that the writing quality was nothing like the magic of J.K. Rowling. It turned out to be a work of fan fiction, written by someone with a love of Harry coupled with a creative mind. I eventually read it all because it was rather interesting. Harry developed a love of jogging, really got back at Dudley Dursley in an evil way, and eventually got into Hermine's pants. Whew... that was a wild ride, let me tell you!

Waiting for the last book was the hardest. A friend and I queued at the bookstore for the midnight release. I read the entire book in one weekend, laughed, cried, yelled in frustration, and generally had a lovely time. Poor Sweet No just kind of drifted in and out of my life that weekend, making fun of me as she passed the vacuum cleaner under my feet.

Not to introduce any spoilers, let's just say that the movies were great but the books were still better. Character development was fantastic and the stories felt so believable. J.K. Rowling is rolling in money, and I am happy for her.

I really WANT to find out that there REALLY IS a Hogwart's or something like it, even if I wasn't invited. Am I alone? What about visiting the Harry Potter Theme Park in Orlando? Would you spend your hard-earned money to visit the studio where much of the film series was made?

And what of JK Rowling? There is a 19 year gap to fill, as well as the possibility to write about what happens to the kids of the magical trio. Would she, could she, SHOULD she write more about the adventures of Harry Potter?

Bittersweet indeed. But our ride on the Hogwart's Express has been enjoyable.

WhereUBeen?

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 06:07:00 +0000

Where have you been Snooker?
No where.
Diving.
Anywhere.
Curacao.
Everywhere.
Karneval der Kulturen.
Around.
Fotomarathon.
Berlinale.
Here.

I could come up with a couple of juicy rationalizations for why I haven't been blogging:
No time
No inclination
Nothing to write about
My dog ate that page
Dammit, nobody reads it anyway.

But actually it is just out of a laziness, I suppose. Once in a while I think, "I should blog about this, it is cool", but never get down to it.

And then there are the cool alternatives. Twitter is much faster, more concise, instant gratification. Facebook attaches me to people I know and love, and I don't have to think so hard about what I put on FB. Besides, I'm always a better "lurker" anyway. I really enjoy reading the blogs of other folks, even if I don't always comment. And Twitter allows me moments of escapism through my workday, which is fabulous!

What have I been doing? I guess that you could say I've been living my life instead of trying to put it into words. Winter holidays were spent in Curacao having some of the best dives in my life. I've been working on trying to trim down (weight wise). I've not been doing as much photography as I would like. Art exhibitions. Lots of reading and movie watching. And of course... work, work, work.

So why pop up now, Snooker?
Around the corner is the WEBMU (Whiny Expat Bloggers Meet Up). Which I really want to go to. But may I just add that I would feel guilty if I ended up going to a blogging meeting without actually having blogged?

Let's face it, on March 17th I was surprised by an e-mail which said that SnookerInBerlin had a new blog post! Wha? Howdiddathappen? When I opened it up I knew immediately. Oh yeah. I had seen something much earlier which would be perfect for St. Patrick's Day, so I loaded it and gave it a run date... which it did... without me. So something actually showed up! Surprise Blogging! A whole new enterprise.

I mean, the blog hasn't been COMPLETELY abandoned. Comment moderation has been in full swing. For a while there I was quite busy deleting comments from some guy in Malaysia who said nice things about my blog, or wrote a joke, and then proceeded to link to some scary website which probably sells drugs, or sex advice, or porn. What a nice guy!

So let's see if I can come back here once in a while... perhaps I will even surprise myself.

Until then,

The Leprechaun Brothers

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 03:55:00 +0000

A special treat for St. Pat's Day.
Animal, Swedish Chef and Beaker showing that they have the stuff...

Winter comes to Berlin

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 12:09:00 +0000

I've been having trouble with this encroaching winter.
But if it is going to look like this...

... then I'm OK with that.

That last one isn't real, but she's pretty.

Truths for Mature Adults

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 17:51:00 +0000

The numbered sentences you are about to read were shamelessly stolen. However, I'm certain it wasn't the first world-wide occurrence of Internet theft this month, this week, day, minute, or millisecond for that matter.

The blog I've victimized is normally written by Maria of "just eat your cupcake". Very rarely does she copy/paste her entries, and the rare meme is usually popped back out as a question for her readers.

Hers is a blog which is written directly through the outwardly guarded heart of a 50-something, American Mid-western mother in a long-term relationship with a woman she met in college.

She has a talent for unfolding her past and exposing her present for us to see, and doing it beautifully I might add. She can turn a phrase and tell a tale. I dare you to read this entry which is a primer for Maria's life. It is bit long for the average Netizen, but at least take a tour and see if you like.

Back to the thievery. I've stolen one of her posts and added some other things I've had locked away for some time.

Number 11 is my favorite of all, I think. (Bad decisions make good stories.) Isn't that the truth? Some of the most interesting people I've ever met have made some of the biggest life f**kups I've ever heard of.

TRUTHS FOR MATURE ADULTS

1) I think part of a best friend's job upon your death should be to immediately wipe your computer history.

2) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3) I totally take back all the times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5) How the hell are you supposed to reasonably fold a fitted sheet?

6) Was learning cursive really necessary?

7) When asked, no one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

8) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.

9) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

10) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I call back immediately, it rings six times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

11) Bad decisions make good stories.

12) People who eat at hotel restaurants, don’t deserve to visit other countries.

11) You never know when it will strike but occasionally there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13) I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

14) Police officers always ask you questions you both know the answer to.

15) Bluetooth headsets look completely moronic.

16) Good music was made (and continues to be made) in every decade. People claiming otherwise tend to have stopped listening to music in whatever decade they say was the best.

14) Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

15) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

16) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

17) Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

18) When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

19) When you have 10 channels, you can always find something to watch. When you have 500, you complain there’s nothing on.

19) Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie/read a book/listen to a song that I ran across when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw/read/heard it.

20) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble fishing their car keys out of their pocket or locating their mobile phones. But I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

22) Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

23) Flight deals continue to be reported without taxes included, even though everyone hates this.

24) Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

25) The first testicular guard, the "Cup" was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is important too.

Hey, remember to visit Maria's blog.

I See Dead People

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 06:24:00 +0000

This years' Halloween was different in Berlin for some reason. I think the Germans are catching on to this thing.

First off I was invited to a real, grownup Halloween party thrown by non-Americans. Yup, they even had Halloween themed foods and the Eyeball Punch had the most potent eyeballs I've ever tasted.

The invitation said that partiers should show up as a dead person. Marie Antoinette was there as well as some characters out of books with the majority being real-life people. Eva and Adolf even made an appearance, surprisingly. The mix was good.

Like other costume parties of my past the people showed their creativity and ingenuity. The Phantom of the Opera folks were great. There were a few folks who just looked ghoulish with white face paint and blackened eyes, but at least they were working it, and if asked they always had a story about who they were supposed to be.

What I didn't see was the most annoying trend which was getting so big when I left the States. There were no girls at the party which had taken the opportunity of a costume party to dress as skankily as possible. No, there were no "slutty girl costumes" in evidence.

Amongst the ladies there was not one single set of kitty or bunny ears placed just so within the hairline, no push up bras to unnaturally accentuate cleavage, and definitely no leotard-looking things with cotton-tail bunny butt.

I must say that it was refreshing.

The only people I saw dressed like this were the group of 9 American kids in the subway. They were of course the loudest and drunkest group around. The girls were all dressed in the "skanky costume", and the guys were all showing their lack of imagination as well with the standard wool cap with the attached stick looking like it has gone through the head... oh, but let's put some fake blood trickling down the face and onto my shirt... that will make it look better.

Also different this year was an even bigger street presense of the kiddies in search of candy. Seven o'clock last night we were witness to about four groups of roving kiddies going from building to building in our neighborhood. As we were driving around the city, we also saw a few more groups. Wow, I don't think I've EVER seen that before.

I know they're a long way from having a costume day at school, but things are moving closer into that direction. Let's just hope they can avoid what has become obligatory in America... the Slutty Girl Costume.

What is with all the Fight?

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 11:37:00 +0000

Ahem, let's take a ride on the Random Wheel

Poor little Mimi choked and sputtered yesterday while I tried to start her up after a week of ignoring her in cold weather... but last night and again this morning she woke right up with a roar. Love that scooter and the freedom she gives me even if these fall days have me arriving at my destination considerably more stiff and cold than when I started.

In the past couple of months I've been to both Lübeck and Lüneburg, small cities in the north of Germany. Personally I prefer Lüneburg between the two of them, but as for northern towns (not including Hamburg and of course Berlin which some consider flatly east), I still prefer Schwerin.

My gosh I've been becoming a bit obsessive about Urbexing. Germany has SOOO many abandoned sites, hospitals, military bases, tunnels and the like... and they're waiting for me to explore them. Of course it is not a hobby I can pursue on my own. Unfortunately it isn't strictly "safe" to walk around alone in 100+ year old buildings which are rotting away slowly, but they are so beautiful. It is interesting to watch as nature takes its course, slowly breaking down and covering up the things man has made. Yes, I've been filling up SD cards with pictures as well. Check out some of them here. If anyone would like to come with me, just let me know. I've got a list as long as my arm of places to go... Sweet No is simply getting tired of all this exploration.

Rachael Maddow's show last night was dedicated to the showing of a documentary about the murder of Wichita, Kansas' own most famous abortion doctor. I lived in Wichita during most of this mess. The 1986 attempted murder of Dr. Tiller was horrifying and silly, the 1991 "Summer of Mercy" was a huge drain on the resources of the city. Driving down the highway adjacent to the clinic was like running the gamut of dead baby pictures. The protesters would do everything they could to draw attention to their cause, but the people of the city could have cared less and the great majority simply wanted them to leave. Even the Catholic Church nearby stayed out of the entire melee.

The man was performing a legal procedure. If they wanted to change policy, they should have worked within the legal system. Chaining themselves to cars and causing the waste of critical resources (police and fire) was not only wrong but unnecessary.

Unfortunately, in my humble opinion, the story didn't go far enough into those cheering on the murderer. The O'Reilly's of this world incited this type of behavior and are now running away from their culpability.

These people who make it their business to judge others should remember their Savior's ideas about "Judge not, lest ye be judged".
(OK, I'm jumping off of my soapbox. I just wanted to say that no matter your politics about an admittedly touchy subject, murdering the guy was an incredibly extreme way to deal with a situation which should have been covered by the courts. Check out the video here)

OK, um... breathe deeply ... and release.

It's clementine season again. No, it isn't time for the song to rattle around in my head endlessly (although it is certainly doing that NOW... thanks a lot!); it's time for the stores to fill the fruit section with citrus and more specifically, clementines! Man I love 'em!! The net of orange goodness sitting on my desk right now came from Spain. Hmmm. If that place has these things growing on trees, maybe I should just move there! I can polish off a kilo of these beauties in an afternoon, no problem.

Every night on my way home from work I pass by a Sparda Bank. Why are you telling me this Snooker, you might ask. Well, because after seeing the huge sign I immediately think of Sparta, the cat protagonist in the "Mean Kitty Song". Once I think of the song, then I start humming it in my head, sometimes even signing the words as I tool down the street on Mimi the scooter. Do you have or love cats or maybe just like guys in baseball caps? Check out the cute video. Maybe you too will find yourself humming this lovely little ear worm at strangely inappropriate times.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has proclaimed Germany's attempts to build a multicultural society have failed. I'm beginning to feel that being an immigrant in this country could get a bit harder, at least for the Muslims. Heck, even my sweet FIL read Thilo Sarrazin's anti-Islam book, "Deutschland schafft sich ab " (often translated as "Germany Does Away with Itself"). There has been talk (finally) of issuing identity cards to the country's foreigners as a better way to track who comes and goes.

I've often been involved in conversations where Germans are complaining about the immigrant problem in their country. After a moment or two they come to the realization that they are speaking with an immigrant at which time they often will assure me that I'm one of the "good" immigrants. Hmm... Any expats have a thought on this?

Been reading:
What Happened to Change We Can Believe In?

WEBMU WE-BUM Whatever...

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 11:57:00 +0000

Well, I could spend this whole blog post talking about the Whiny Expat Blogger Meet Up in Hamburg which happened... oh what... 4 weeks ago? But you know what? Others have covered it quite succinctly and may I just say that I assume they remember it better than I do anyway. What I DO remember is the great time I had. I would like to thank our wonderful hosts, Ian from Letters Home, Mandy from No Apathy Allowed, Emily at Transkitten and PapaScott

People ask me why I always have a camera in my hand... it's because dammit, I want to have SOME recollection of what happened!

Seriously, even Claire of Cheeseburgers and Sauerkraut has hammered out some time to talk about it and the poodle had been AWOL for a long time, you know?

So here is what kept occurring to me while exploring the city of Hamburg with a lovely, noisy, interesting, smart and funny group like this one. If I had met these people in other circumstances, would we have become such fast friends?

I will admit that there are blogs I read regularly, and others that get my time if I have the time. Some of them are classified as "my peeps", others are people I read because I know that my peeps read them. Does that make sense?

If we were not all sharing this same experience, would we want to get to know each other like we do? Would we really be grasping out for others "like us"?

I've come to the realization that my Sweet (German) No is not going to understand the odd American reference. She simply doesn't get it when I throw something out like, "Please don't squeeze the Charmin", or "Give it to Mikey, he won't eat it, he hates everything", or how my bologna has a first and second name, or "If they take my stapler, then I'll set the building on fire". American pop culture references are lost on her as her German cultural references are lost on me. Yes, I know about "Der Struwwelpeter", (only because I read it in my search for that spark to get me into the German language/culture) no I never heard of the book outside of this country. After 5 years in Germany I know all about "Dinner for one". But my German friends still don't seem to understand that just because it is in English does not mean that every English speaker in the world knows it like the Germans do. Why the oft repeated phrase "Same procedure as every year" should be funny was lost on me until December 31, 2005.

Music is another experience which she and I simply don't share. Since coming here I've been exposed to much more of the pop music she grew up with, so yes, I know how to exclaim "Who the fuck is Alice?" at the appropriate moments, or when to jump up and down while dancing to that silly schlager song.

I don't work with Americans, and although I have a few American friends here in Berlin, I really don't see them often. So being with this group in Hamburg was an experience for me, as always. Not only am I assailed by so much English around me, but the cultural references grab me and put a smile on my face.

One of my WEBUM roommates (u know who u r) would whistle half a bar of a tune and my ears would pick up on it immediately. This is not to say that I don't get to hear music, or that the Germans aren't exposed to lots of American music... just that whistling the tune to 867-5309 in my vicinity kinda makes me jump a bit. I'm not used to someone actually sharing my culture, in fact I find that I really like it in a nostalgic way.

OK, so let's get back to the topic. Is simply being an expat enough of a basis for a friendship? Is the fact that we have moved to this country from the same country a good reason for us to get buddy buddy? Trust me, I've met some expats here in Berlin that I would NEVER hang out with, and certainly wouldn't have given them the time of day "back home", but we run in the same circles... thus we bump into each other from time to time. ugh.

At the same time I've found that I really enjoy spending time with Yelli, even though in our former lives we probably would have never met up. For one she is a teacher, of science no less. Next division is that she is a mommy of two really cute boys. (gotta mention the scientist hubby is really a great guy and I really enjoy spending time around them both). Although I really don't feel that it divides us, it should be mentioned that she is straight and of course I'm a lesbo, ya know?

The point is that even if we had lived in the same town in America, it is highly unlikely that we would have become buddies, as we really don't have so much in common. I'm just not hanging around in many playgrounds or science labs and I seriously doubt that she's put in a lot of time in gay places or wherever else I would spend my free time. Yet we meet up once in a while and I really enjoy chatting with her. Since she continues to call me for meet-ups, I assume that she's enjoying our time together as well.

So please, what do you think? Do we American expats become such fast friends because we have the expat thing in common? Are we searching for someone with our own culture as a way of staving off Heimweh (homesickness in German), or is the German stereotype correct when they say is it just the American way... making fast friends and abandoning them when maintaining the relationship is no longer convenient?

Been reading:

Religion test stumps most Americans. Once again atheists and agnostics are shown to know more about the world's religions than American Christians.
Conservative Christians tackle divorce - IMHO they should set to rights their own house (and divorce statistics) before jumping all over the gays for "ruining the institution of marriage".
Me TOO!
Jumping on the Anti-Beck bandwagon - Donald Duck faces no job and a mortgage... and Glen Beck offers his own special type of advice.

I Got It!! I Got It...

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 06:54:00 +0000

Yup, another ride on the Random Tuesday Trolly. Keely the Un Mom has inspired me, maybe she can do the same to you. Oh, and her site got a redesign and even moved. Hmmm. That reminds me, I'm a bit tired of this blog's look and feel. Maybe I should give it a re-work... ... hmm... sounds like work. Maybe I won't worry about that right now and get down to the bullets.

I have a nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Over the weekend I watched 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later back to back directly before going to bed... the zombies chased me all through my dreams. Oh, and let me just say... if the blood FROM the zombie is going to turn YOU into a zombie... then maybe the killing method should not be a knife. I'm thinking that is WAY too close contact. Perhaps a gun... or machine gun.
It's getting just a bit nippy to be riding to work on Mimi the scooter. Come on! It's just late August! I'm not ready for summer to be over yet!

Movies, movies... what to see? Some friends and I were planning to go see the new Angelina Jolie flick tonight, Salt. But we keep hearing that it is crap. Now we're considering Stallone's "The Expendables", about which reviewers have also thrown around the crap word. Something tells me that it will be a choice between bad action flick with vagina or bad action flick with testosterone.

Heck, Cats & Dogs and the A Team are playing tooo... maybe we'll be so drunk by the time the movie starts, we just won't care what we're watching.

(Imagine Snooker dancing around the office on Monday morning... singing to the tune of "You Did It" from My Fair Lady) Monday morning I got it! I got it! I got it! I asked Sweet No to get it! She said that she would do it, and indeed she did. I thought that it would be top heavy, but it isn't, and now I must admit, that it's really cool. WHAT IS IT you might ask? A coffee mug that looks very much like a Nikon camera lens. It's the little things.

Sweet No suffered all weekend with a bad bout of lumbago. I'd heard the word before, but had no idea what it was other than the lum- prefix which I think means back or lower back or something. She leaned over a desk at work for a few minutes and suddenly stood up
causing a nasty back pull. The German doctor mentioned the feared word, "Hexenschuss". It sounds a little sinister even if you don't know the translation. But literally it means "shot by a witch". Fun, eh? Love those Germans and their descriptive terms. She's doing OK now... Who am I fooling? She's as fit as a fiddle to begin with... 25 sit ups every morning, 25 push ups every evening, jogging 2-3 times a week. She's already back to 75%. I, however, would STILL be lying down at the doctor's office begging for a pain shot.

OK, that's enough of my babbling.

> Update... we went to see "The Expendables"... um, OK... but I could have lived without it. One of the girls said that she felt she was watching a video game that she wasn't allowed to join in and play.

The Definition of Heaven and Hell:

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:18:00 +0000

A little European humour here.

In Heaven:

The police are English,
the cooks are French,
the mechanics are German,
the Italians are the lovers,
and it is all organized by the Swiss.

In Hell:

The English are the cooks,
the French are the mechanics,
the police are German,
the Swiss are the lovers,
and it is all organized by the Italians.


A little snap of Ireland... which has nothing whatsoever to do with this post.

Random Tuesday - Just 'Cause I Wanna

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:54:00 +0000

Let's take a ride on the wheel that is RTT. Random Tuesday gives me the option to simply babble in blog format whatever is on my mind.

Actually, what pops out of my brain is sometimes a little scary, even for me. But we'll try to keep it between the navigational beacons.

Bullets, because I can't focus people... simple as that.

* This morning I went to the American Consulate here in Berlin to get my expiring and quickly filling Passport renewed. Think airport security on a smaller scale. Oh, and you can't have any kind of electronic device on you. Don't even THINK about taking a phone inside.

* Attack life, it’s going to kill you anyway. ~ Steven Coallier

* Let me just say that after seeing the line of non-Americans waiting to get visas to visit America, I was REALLY happy to be holding that American Passport. I went directly in and did my business. When I came back out I could see the same guy was still standing in front of the same visa window. Ugh.

* I remember back to 2001 and my first visit to Berlin. For some reason I was expecting much more of a military feel to the city. The Wall was long gone, but I expected barriers or something. HA, all I had to do was approach the American Embassy (which has since moved)... Walls, barbed wire, armed guards. Yeah, this was what I had expected to see in Berlin... how proud I was to know that the only place I saw it was surrounding my country's embassy. (smell the sarcasm, people?)

I think I'm getting addicted to coffee...
and NO, I'm NOT giving up
my addiction to Coke Zero.

* The American Consulate is in a residential area rather than the Embassy which is surrounded by business. But don't you think for one minute that it looks less secure. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the sidewalk a block away from the building is ALSO American Territory and is not available for scooter parking (yup, I found out the hard way). At least the Berliner PoPo (police officer in SnookerSpeak) lady was nice when she insisted that I move my vehicle.

* Does it still count as morning coffee if you drink it four hours after you get up?

* While I was walking on the non-American sidewalk where I was allowed to park my scooter, a colleague of mine stopped her car on the street and asked me if I wanted a ride. 3.5 million people in this city and she spots me. How sweet.. and strange all at the same time.

* Sweet No bought us tickets to the Köpenick Jazz In Town Festival to see the Australian "Guitar God" Tommy Emmanuel. He is magic, I must admit. And he knows his guitar! Want a sample? Check Tommy out on You Tube. Pick a song and just enjoy!

* The Berlin streets are full of people again. In late July / early August the residential part of the city is a ghost town. School is of course out and many folks are traveling of town on holiday. Driving on the city streets is a breeze, with hardly any traffic back ups. Only the tourist areas are crazy full. Unfortunately I noticed yesterday that the pileups are happening more frequently. Sometimes I even have to wait through TWO lights! Yeah, I know... silly to complain about waiting only two light cycles, but hey... it's what I've got.

* GAWD, what is all this ruckus about a Mosque near Ground Zero? Actually I can see both sides. But tend to come down on the side of "it is just real estate". (yes, I've stood and looked into the gaping hole that used to be the World Trade Centers... yes, I felt the nauseous feeling knowing that so many people died there... yes, I was just as freaked as most Americans... no I don't automatically hate all Muslims just like I don't hate all Catholics because some nuns beat me when I was a child and made me use my right hand instead of my left - oh, and there is that whole little boy loving priest thing... and the Ireland thing... ). Are the politicos REALLY having to search THAT hard to find a divisive topic to set themselves apart from the "other side"? To be fair... we "Coalition Partners" have been building Ground Zeros around Mosques since 2003.

From our Paris trip last month

* Are you an American expatriate living in Germany? The new and cool Passport Card is NOT accepted by the German government as identification. At least this is what the guy at the Consulate told me. It is mainly for travel in North America no matter WHAT the Embassy website says about how the "passport card can be used as a valid citizenship identification" when outside of the United States. (not for international air travel, however) For real non-national identification in Germany it is best to carry your Passport at all times or to have your local court make you an official copy and carry that around with you (this costs about 20€). Perhaps this will change in the future and the Jerries will recognize the card as identification... but for now, it isn't worth the 30€ for the card. Too bad.

* Because I was going to the Consulate and couldn't carry any electronics, I left my camera at home... all day I felt just a bit naked. (the phone sat in the scooter, but it was just easier without the BA Camera - big ass camera).

* This morning right after getting up I watched a picture CD of Snooker's life which my brother put together. Since it came out of my Mother's photo collection, many of the pics were of my childhood. It is really, really weird to watch yourself grow up. Looking back at those former "Snookers", I found myself reflecting on where my life has gone since the time that little toe-headed kid was playing in the autumn leaves with her new doggie. Here I am at the proverbial half-way point in my life. What will happen to all the future Snookers? Will I look back at pictures of me in my 40's and be proud?

* "I think positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time." - Cobb in the movie "Inception". Go see it. In the theatre, now... don't wait for DVD! Trust me. It is the next jump in movie making, much like "The Matrix".

* Whoa... I was just going looking for pictures for the blog and did a search for American Consulate Berlin and my image of the new Berlin Embassy from years ago is first in the rankings... (pause for contemplation) Consulate / Embassy... oh well. In fact the forth picture in the returns is actually the British Embassy in Berlin. Don't you just love the Internet?

OK, that's enough random for now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Are you wondering WHAT this Random Tuesday Thoughts thing is? Head on over to Keely the Un-Mom and see what she is doing.

Musical Monday - I Need You Now

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:13:00 +0000

Being transplanted into Deutschland has changed me musically. I'm a rocker by nature who is saddened by no "classic" rock station. Alongside rock I enjoy both pop and country... of the two only pop is available to me in Germany. No longer can I simply dabble in a little bit of country by spinning my radio dial. Nope, here in Berlin there is only one "country music" radio show, and that plays on Thursday night. If I want country, I have to go to Internet Radio or to my own CD collection.

No more. In the past weeks I've been hearing a lovely country power ballad on Berlin's pop stations!! Imagine my surprise when I hear these lyrics coming out of my radio, "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now. Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now". OH YEAH! The Drunken Booty Call! ONLY country music would pay tribute to drunk dialing your ex.

Today I did a lyrics search and found out that it is performed by Lady Antebellum, a trio of two men and one lady with what I'm guessing is an as of yet untapped voice. As far as soft-pop-leaning country ballads go, this one is right up there. It has all of the elements. No, this isn't your mommy's crossover country hit. Shania Twain never stepped into this territory. It feels like late Dixie Chicks, trying to walk the fine line between country and pop... keeping both markets open for the selling.

As for the group, I like it. The sound is a mite bit overproduced, but I think they need that to get the feel of the country and the pop in there. In fact I bet there are several different versions laid down to track, one is VERY country, the other is VERY pop. This one is a hybrid of the two.

The singing... yeah, I like her voice. When Hillary Scott sings "and I NEEEEED you now" you believe it, you FEEL that NEED. Not like you would feel it from Billie Holiday or K.D. Lang, but her voice makes you feel it in a way which has been lost for some time in country. Reba McEntire has it, maybe this little lady can make a career for herself along those lines.

I find the song writing stellar. The point of writing a song is to get people to relate to it. Who hasn't been there? Maybe not all of us have gone so far as to do the drunk dialing, but after a few drinks, feeling all alone... um, yeah. All I can say is that I've been there. I've been on the receiving end of some horrific drunk dialing sessions.

Come on... I'm not alone here am I?
Drunken booty calls? Getting that drunk ex on the phone in the middle of the night? Is that only me?

Lady Antebellum lyrics "Need You Now"

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now (wait)
Ooo, baby, I need you now

Too old for... ?

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 11:41:00 +0000

Goofball over at Goofballsworld has tagged me in a meme.
Don't close the window yet... give us a chance.

Normally I'm not into memes, but this one struck me as interesting.

"It doesn't matter how young or how old you are, we all do stuff that we are secretly too old for: stuff that we'd rather not want the others to know because they'd not consider it suitable for our age. So what are you too old for but what can't you stop doing because you like it that much?"

Well, here I am at the commonly accepted "middle age". The 40's have just begun and I must face that the downward spiral has also started on many facets of life. There are things which I simply will never get to do. No, I won't be partying with AC/DC anytime soon, and that teenage dream of owning a penthouse over Manhattan, I don't see it coming true either.

According to society I should have settled down at least in my 30's and started having kids. Well, pffft on that. I should have bought a house or at least an apartment. Pfft. I should have a comfy retirement fund started or at least some heavy guilt (OK, so I have a retirement fund... no pfft there).

Looking at life from the perspective of what society deems "normal" for each decade of life, I would have to say that generally I buck the system at every chance.

So why should acting my age be something I actually do?

Why is it that we allow society to decide what is right to do at what time of life? Goofball talks about how she loves to swing on swing-sets. She discusses the fact that the sizes are most generally geared to children, thus it isn't so easy to use them in the same way... BUT, she still loves the sensation... and I'm sure she can still fit IN the swing. Why should she feel badly about enjoying something so natural? Just because society tells us that she's too old?

I say Pfft!

If I want to play video games all night long, I'll do it.
If I want to buy the BIG LOLLIPOP and suck on it until I'm down to the stick, I will do it... and I will hold the sticky stick however I want!
If I want to wear a Mickey Mouse Watch, I will do it.
If I want to eat desert before the main meal, why not? Life is uncertain. Eat desert first!
If I want to sit on the floor at the bookstore and enjoy going through the stacks while crawling around, I'll get my pants dirty.
Bubble gum, you bet!
Rainbow Koosh Ball on my work desk... sure!
If I want to blow off a meeting to lie in a park enjoying the afternoon sun on my face, I'm going to do it.
Dancing like a wild thing at festivals... oh yeah!
Eating "Kiddie Cereal"... you bet!
Riding Screaming Mimi the bright blue scooter as a 42 year old...? Why the hell not?
Air guitar in the mirror... yup, I'm that girl.
If I'm flipping through channels and come across a Muppet Show re-run, I'm going to watch it because it's funny.
If I want to listen to heavy metal at full volume while wearing my headphones, why shouldn't I?
If I want to have a flag pole on the back of my bicycle, I'll do it! (Note, get a flag for the bicycle - it sounds cool)
If I want to go to a theme park and ride every damn ride there is, as long as there is no puking involved.. I'm in!

I don't care what people say or do, and no one else should either.

Whose life are we living?

Are we really here to gain the approval of others?

Will they be beside us at our deathbeds saying how right we were to obey all of society's rules?
No.

Do I want to get to the "jumping off place" only to have regrets about the way I've lived my life?
No.

"I want to die young at a ripe old age."
- Ashley Montagu

Remember:
Ageism will catch up with you.

So what do you do which defies society's ageism norms?
Come on... you know you do... or at least you WANT to!

Random Tuesday - No name version

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 06:19:00 +0000

Whoo hooo... It's been a LOOONNNNNGGG time since I've been on the Random Tuesday Bandwagon. I've missed the ladies, and thought I would take a circle with them today and catch up on what kind of craziness Keely is up to... so, let's go!

No and I bought a new blender/mixer thing after the Tchibo POS finally gave out. It has this weird glowy/blue/hologram thingy that kinda freaks me out when I walk into the kitchen. Nothing says "I'm home" like a making frozen margaritas (come on, you didn't think we were going to make healthy smoothies or something) in a machine which looks as though it came directly off the set of Star Trek.

Last Friday the image you see to the left opened in a little Berlin gallery named Cozmic Photos.

It's not my best work, but since it was an assignment (Reflections) and I HATE assignments, I don't think it's too bad. Click through to get more of the story.

Summer has made it to Berlin. The last few days were crazy hot. All of this in a place with very few air-conditioned buildings. Unfortunately this has brought back sooo many of my gripes with some of the Germans (thankfully a minority) and how they handle heat.

First off... um, there is this thing called soap... when used with water over your body it can help get rid of the severe STANK the rest of us around are getting from SOME Berliners. I've been taking upwards of three showers a day, I would hope that the dude I ran into last night on the underground was on his way home to one... WHEW!

My Dear Krauts. Air will not hurt you. I don't mean super-chilled, flying out of the air conditioner air... I'm talking about opening a freaking window and allowing the BREEZE into the room/car/train/whatever. If it is hot enough to cause perspiration while simply sitting, hey... it is hot enough to OPEN a window. No, it doesn't hurt your kidneys (where did that come from?) No, your back will not seize up. No, the dry mouth and sore throat you have didn't come from the FAN, it came from mild dehydration because you're sitting in a room that is 35 DEGREES!! (Celsius - 95F)

Football Fever has the Jerrys at a fevered pitch. The German National Team have been solidly beating all comers (except for Serbia - funny, that) the whole way through the World Cup. Next up is Spain on Wednesday which I'm sure will be a real knuckle-biter. We hope to watch it from the Berliner FanMeile with 350,000 of our good friends. (well, at least we'll be in the area... we'll get into the VIP area to enjoy the game a bit more safely.)

Bad news. My beloved Beelitz-Heilstätten is being closed by its owner. It is my favorite place in the world to take pictures. Some of you clicked through to those links and wonder why a place that looks like it is already falling down - is closing down. Well, the owner says that he will no longer abide the trespassers (like me) who love the place soooo very much. It seems that not all of us come with the idea of "Take only pictures, leave only footprints, kill only time". The vandalism is getting out of hand, and I don't blame the guy for trying to secure his property. But dammit, I want to be able to go play.

Speaking of playing. This time next week No and I will be playing in Paris, helping the French celebrate La Fête Nationale. Yes, I expect to see plenty of French flags and fireworks, eat lots of food smothered in butter, and finally taste a REAL French Baguette. Oh, and take THOUSANDS of pictures. OOOHHH! Check out this little gizmo showing Paris!!! One of my Frenchie buddies gave me the link while giving me clues of where we simply MUST GO while in La Ville-Lumière.

Thanks for playing Random Tuesday Thoughts, head on over to Keely at the UnMom for more randomness.

Now for a cool video.
World-renowned animated graffiti artist BLU returns following a ten-month hiatus with a stunning new production called “BIG BANG BIG BOOM: an unscientific point of view on the beginning and evolution of life … and how it could probably end.”

BIG BAG BIG BOOM - the new wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

Gay Pride Berlin - 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:28:00 +0000

I ran across this post in my editor and realized that it had never been "published". Here you go... Snooker's take on Gay Pride in Berlin!

Have I said it here? I don't think so... I love Gay Pride Month.

In Berlin that means a month long celebration culminating in a street festival and then the CSD which is short for Christopher Street Day. The center of the city closes down for one of the world's largest Gay Pride Parades and I simply love it!

I love the goofy rainbow crap all over everything. I completely dig (gawd, can we still use words like that?) the bomp-bomp-bomp music, even better if I can feel it in my bones. Really, I just love the gays! Every single year is a wild and crazy adventure in who can be the wildest, craziest, raunchiest, maddest hatter around. Someone (dammned if I can remember who) said that it is a "ridiculous sweaty carnival of queertasticness". WOW! What a statement, and it is Sooo Frakking True!!

For me it is an affirmation of "my people". I wouldn't say "chosen family" since I didn't choose these people to be my family any more than I chose my blood relatives. What I guess I would like to say is that for better or for worse, these people have probably all had many of the same feelings I've had. That desire to question ?What is the definition of "normal sexuality"? has linked us in some strange way.

Sometimes it's good just to get together with "your people" and feel FAB-U-LOUS about yourselves. It's a wonderful feeling to know that we're all out there with a "We're here, We're Queer, Get Used to It" mentality.

Besides, I guess in the end I just like dancing my ass off!
And dance it off I did. Blogging Buddy Adam of "That Queer Expatriate" fame came up for the weekend to enjoy the non-stop party with me, and I hope I gave him some great pointers and as well as a good time.

He's covered the event very well in his blog post, including the part about camera envy even if he didn't get a good taste of vagina-envy. :)

Did you take copious amounts of pictures Snooker? OF COURSE I DID! Heck, I haven't even had TIME to look at the last half of the 500 or so... let alone edit them down. The way things are going, I won't get that done, either.

In the middle of the festivities I needed to go be a responsible adult and help Sweet No as she trained another set of scuba students. (I'm the official paparazzi. We give them a cool "this is what your training looked like DVD" when it is all over.) While that's all cool and good, what it meant was no alcohol for me during the parade. Hmmmm... this was certainly a different experience for me, let's just say.

After the diving I peeled off the neoprene (although something tells me I would have been OK showing up in it anyway) and took off to a ladies night CSD event.

How cool was that? Four dance floors, completely different music at each, probably 2,000 ladies there all for the purpose of havin' a great time, me and my buddies dancing into the wee hours of the mornin'. AHHHH PRICELESS!

All of this is overshadowed by one little, niggling thought in the back of my head, "Is this really something to be proud of?". My moment of indecision was helped along by a comment on one of my more "adult" images (at least of the ones I considered putting on Flickr). The commenter asks if I am proud of what is written on the Tshirt. Hmm... interesting query.

He's right, I'm not really PROUD of what is written on the Tshirt. Let's be frank... rarely are the antics of the wildest group seen at a Pride Parade something to be proud of. They are "in your face" with their sexuality, because that is what it is all about. Of course the cameras - mine included - are all pointing at the wildest examples of debauchery, it is our most basic instinct to be voyeurs. But for every wild and crazy person IN the parade, there were another 50 of the more "normal" variety along the sidelines.

Yeah, I've always been a big proponent of "Normal is a setting on my washing machine" thought process. But let's face it, if you have a full body tattoo, a HUGE nose ring and ear expanders I can get my thumb through, I bet that you're not working in an office 9 to 5. Which leads me to wonder what these people might be doing to help increase the GDP.

We’re here, we’re queer, and no one on the planet throws a better party than we do.

The Difference Between Snooker and Sweet No

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 06:21:00 +0000

Those who know Snooker and No personally would knowingly shake their heads in the affirmative with the thought of the two of us being compared to Ernie and Bert (or is it Bert and Ernie... now I'm confused... German Sesamstrasse says it one way, the Sesame Street of my youth says it the other). I'm short, rotund and prone to fits of giggles. Sweet No is tall and thin and while she has a rapier wit, it is usually so dry that most people don't get it until the next day... after a shower.

The differences between us are far and wide. She's a jogging freak, I'm a shade dog. I ride a scooter to work, she cruises along on pedal power riding her bike. She watches a maximum of 4 hours TV per week, while if given my druthers I would probably watch DVD's until the machine gave out. She is 12 years younger than me and grew up in Germany, while I'm feeling my age after living the traditional American "bigger is better, including my ass" lifestyle.

She has a HUGE thing about gummies (I'm talking Haribo Gummi Bears and the entire family... to the tune of a package or so a day), while I would rather enjoy salty, greasy foods. I take pictures almost exclusively above water, she takes pictures almost exclusively underwater (except for the cat... most pics of Frank are actually hers). We have age differences, and cultural differences, music and dancing differences, humor and laughter differences, ideas on planning and follow through, ideas on friends and friend management... really the list goes on.

In my daily life I've become accustomed to most of these contrasts. When No comes up with a weekend schedule planned out to the minute and all I want to do is relax in some park, I don't consider how unlike we are, I just try to work out a compromise for how we can both end up as happy as can be. I just don't think about it any more.

But yesterday afternoon I was rooting around in our dry goods cabinet looking for something to eat and it struck me. There were two jars of Nutella sitting side by side. One was from a time when I went shopping and picked up a jar of "chocolaty taste with a hint of that roasted nut flavor that will delight your taste buds as you enjoy each delicious mouthful". The other was newer and had obviously been purchased by No as a backup to an almost empty jar. She is the biggest user of the stuff, in fact she has "Nutella Bread" almost every morning. If it was getting low, she would usually be the one to notice it and work on a replacement.

What you see below are the two jars previously mentioned. On the right you find my 750 gram jar of chocolaty, velvety goodness, to the left is what looks to me to be a TEENSY 400 gram attempt at a jar of Nutella.

WHY would you buy such a small thing if it is going to be consumed in a reasonable amount of time and it has no chance of going bad? (about a month for that big one, I would say) To tell you the truth, I don't really know myself. I'm just posing the question.

Oh, and another difference between us...
When she sees the Nutella jar is empty, she puts it beside the trash for later separation into the glass container. When I see an empty Nutella jar, it is simply a challenge. One to which I will grab a table knife and sit down in front of a blaring TV with full intentions of getting each and every bit of Nutella out of that jar and into my gullet. Yeah... that's a HUGE difference... and quite possibly the reason for my wide ass.

What about you and your loved ones? Surely you have differences, even if the chasm isn't as wide as the one between No and myself. What is it which you would do differently from the ones you surround yourself with?

Been reading:

http://www.mormonproposition.com/
Interesting documentary about why and how the Mormon "Church" nee - PAC has insinuated itself into the entire gay marriage debate. Wanna see.

South African doctor invents female condoms with 'teeth' to fight rape - About time. I would hesitate for this though. Think about it, when would you use it? Isn't the bad part about rape that generally the victim doesn't know that it is going to happen? Do you just wear this thing all the time? Either way, it is interesting to see something like this being invented.

Cool World Cup Calendar

Rachel Maddow for President!

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:45:00 +0000

I'm lovin' Maddow. In fact, after watching this video I'm feeling a little girl crush. The video below hits me right in the heart. I am just like Rachel, I would really like to see these things officially said.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Not upset enough yet?
Go see these photos.

World Cup Fever

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 06:34:00 +0000

Well, I can finally admit it. I'm a changed person. The move to Germany has made me a "soccer" fan. Yes, Fußball has me. Friday night as the UK goalie scored a goal for the USA I giggled madly. Sunday night as the German National Team whooped ass on Australia (come on, would you expect any less?) I had a shit-eating grin on my face. Yes, I'm hooked.

The picture above was from a little gathering Sweet No and I had on the occasion of Germany's first match game. Look closely at the colors of the food. Black Red Gold! The colors of the German flag. Yes we went crazy! Blue berries and Buletten (basically a meatball) were representing black (well, they really WEREN'T black... in fact, I got some comments that they were lovely), strawberries and bell peppers were red, and apricots, pineapple and more peppers represented the gold/yellow.

Not really pictured, we had Kostritzer schwarzbier in the line of drinks back there, then red Bionade and Gold Becks beer... how cute is that?

The sauces? Jack Daniel's BBQ sauce (actually purchased here) "kinda black", ketchup "duh, red", and a mix of curry sauce and Bautzner mustard, "yellow baby".

Maybe a little bit overboard, but fun none the less.

Also fun was this morning's breakfast. Yes, you're seeing that right, the bread (in this case a bagel) has been scored in such a way before baking/cooking so as to pop up with what looks like a soccer ball. Add to that the German flag and hey, you have a gen-u-ine "Fanartikel".

While I'm on the subject of the Cup, let me just say... ENOUGH WITH THE VUVUZELA'S!!! I get it, South Africa loves the horn, they use it for every game. Who knew that a silly plastic horn could be so distracting? Maybe because we didn't think about THOUSANDS of them all playing together sounding like an angry bee swarm.

All I can say is that I'm INCREDIBLY happy that I'm not actually trying to see (and hear) the game from the stadium. Can you imagine paying a fortune to get to SA, mortgaging your house to buy tickets to watch it live, and then not being able to hear what the hell is going on? Let's just hope the phenomenon doesn't catch on in the rest of the world.

Oh yeah, before I forget, CSD (Christopher Street Day - Berlin's Gay Pride Parade) will be this Saturday. Come out and celebrate!

Been reading:

I see it, and I cry.
U.S. Identifies Vast Mineral Riches in Afghanistan - DUH, you didn't think that whole takeover thing was because of bad boys and opium poppies, did ya? No, there's DIAMONDS in those hills!
Elton John performs at 4th marriage of Rush Limbaugh - 4th marriage... I always find it funny when people who are SO vocally opposed to same sex marriage because, as they say, it devalues the institution of marriage, have been married and divorced multiple times themselves... Oh, and that doesn't even TOUCH my thoughts on why the hell EJ would do ANYTHING for this homophobe!
I Can Haz Cheezburger is all grown up.
Former First Lady Laura Bush for Gay Marriage and Pro-Choice! - HOW does she remain married to G-Dub?

Happy World Oceans Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:28:00 +0000

Seriously... it is World Oceans Day.

It brings tears to my eyes when I see the images of the dead and dying ocean creatures; so I will spare you that. But this National Geographic site is well worth a visit to learn a bit about what animals/fish are most likely to be impacted, and this site will show options for what the average person can do to help.

Perhaps getting 50,000 volunteers into the areas in danger to witness that carnage would be a catalyst for change...

Karneval!!

noreply@blogger.com (Snooker) — Sun, 23 May 2010 01:25:00 +0000

The Karneval der Kulturen is ramping up in the city. 1.4 million people are expected to come out and enjoy one of the many festivities surrounding the event.

Check out a few pictures of my experience so far:

My much-loved Dresdner Brot.

That is Funky Chicken with an African drink, Dju Dju - Mango Beer.

Mimi (blue) found some friends while in my absence. Can't take that girl anywhere, as soon as I turn my back she's winkin' and flirtin' with the boys.
Just get out there and experience it for yourself!
Sunday is the parade, and as far as I'm concerned, the best part of the whole thing!

Post from Karneval der Kulturen 2008

May I say that working on Sweet No's computer... um... not exactly easy or necessarily nice. The post looks like crap simply because I don't have the right tools.