Dear Kulula,

I travel frequently, very frequently, and always with you. I have never had a problem with your service in the past. In fact, it has been exemplary. But then, I’ve always travelled from Lanseria. This time I could not fly from my favourite airport as we were coming to Knysna from George for a friend’s wedding so I had to fly out of OR Tambo. But this is not the reason you suck…

Our flight was scheduled to depart at 14h30 on Thursday 24 Feb. We got to the airport in a timely manner and checked in 1 hour before the flight. When checking us in, the lady behind the counter kept frowning, so much so I asked her what was wrong. She refused to tell us, just asked us to follow her – which we did. Despite repeated requests for her to explain to us what was going on, she ignored us. She lead us to a counter where 4 other Comair staff were standing. We asked them what was going on. Nothing. They just demanded our boarding passes and refused to explain why. By this time, 45 other poor sods had been led to the same counter and this is when we began to suspect the worst.

One member of your staff explained that George Airport was only accepting aircraft up to a certain weight, while another tore our boarding passes in half. The explanation went something like “We can’t land the bigger planes at George Airport and we’ve filled the small plane we have so you will all have to fly tomorrow”. Now, I had heard about all the problems with George Airport but had also heard that the CAA had changed the ruling on Tuesday and the airport was now able to accept planes as long as they have reverse thrust and anti-skid braking, which the Boeing 737’s that Kulula flies have. But nevertheless, that is not the reason you suck…

After trying to calm almost 50 very angry commuters down, your staff told us they had known about this problem since 12pm, but had neglected to call any of us to inform us we didn’t have to trek to ORT, only to be sent home again. Your staff offered us accommodation in a hotel to compensate, which about 20 of us accepted. We then waited over 30 minutes in a queue in the airport terminal just to be told what hotel we were going to. But that is not the reason you suck…

We were dragged across the whole (really big) airport to a public transport terminal to wait for busses to the hotel, there were pasengers over 70 who were made to walk with their luggage to the bus area without any offer of help from your staff. We got to the bus area and a shuttle arrived shortly after, which could only take half of us. So the other half waited for the next shuttle. And we waited. And waited. And waited. After 20 minutes, one of the other members of our very pissed off pity party went to ask your staff member to call the hotel and ask where the shuttle was. He didn’t reply, but put his cellphone to his ear and walked away. When he was done we asked “Well, where is the bus?….” He just shrugged and walked away from us. We stood around waiting for another 20 minutes until I thought to call the hotel myself. It turns out the bus had been standing next to us the whole time and your staff member failed to notice it!! (we, of course, had no idea what it looked like as it is not marked with the hotel’s name). I still do not know who your incompetant moronic staff member was calling but it certainly wasn’t the hotel as I found out about the bus from them in less than 5 minutes. We finally got on the bus and arrived at the hotel, but our rooms were not ready, we had to wait in the bar for a further 30 minutes (not the hotel’s fault, Kulula had from 12pm to alert them to our presence and didn’t – it was now 4pm). But this is not why you suck…

We finally left this morning at 08h30 (even though the plane was supposed to take off at 08h10), the flight to George was uneventful (thank goodness). We arrived in George and went to wait for our bags at the conveyer belt…. Yup, you guessed it Kulula, the bags never came. After all that, you lost our bags too. We reported the missing bags to one of your staff members, who was totaly unapologetic and indifferent. She told us she would investigate where the bags were and call us.

Now, dear reader, I’m sure you can imagine how incredibly angry, tired, frustrated and just plain pissed off we were at this point. How emotionally drained we felt. Well, I can tell you, Kulula doesn’t care.

All the way through this seemingly unending nightmare, Kulula did nothing but palm us off with an R800 flight voucher. It sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? Well, between the accommodation, the car hire and the day’s work missed we were all needlessly paying for, it doesn’t even cover half. And Kulula, after what you did to us, after the apathy, the rudeness, the incompetence, the moronic, stupid, uncaring behaviour, from the woman at the check in counter who refused to give us info before palming us off to other incompetants, to the stupid jokes I had to listen to while I was on hold for 24 minutes while trying to reach your customer care (what a joke) line – you think that I really want to redeem that stupid R800 voucher?!? You think that I want to get my bags lost again and have to worry about attending my friend’s wedding in jeans and a t-shirt again?!? You are seriously mistaken. Kulula…. that is why you suck.

P.S. Through this hellish ordeal, a few shining lights kept us from physically assualting someone: Protea Hotel OR Tambo you are amazing. Your decor is delightfully quirky, your facilities tip-top and your service impeccable. And Avis Car rental in George airport (especially Nadine) for upgrading our car hire to make us feel better after hearing our story, you provoked a rare smile in an otherwise bleak day. Thank you.

As for Kulula – sorry, I have to say it again in case you haven’t gotten it yet…. YOU. SUCK.

P.P.S It is now 18h45 and we still do not have our bags. We landed at 10h10…..

No related posts.

So let me take this rare Saturday morning when I’m not working/shopping/doingsomethingformyfamily/working/travelling to bring everyone up to speed with just 3 of the thousands of things I have been doing. I had better do it quickly, cos I have a 5 year old’s birthday party to attend and then I’m seeing a friend I haven’t seen in so long I have forgotten what she looks like. And tomorrow I am going to try and tame the monster that is my inbox. Um, what was I supposed to be telling you again?Oh yes….

1. It is pitch season

Now, never having worked at an agency before Quirk, I never understood what this statement meant. For you non-agency types, let me explain: Pitch season happens when a whole wack of South Africa’s big brands suddenly decide that it’s time to get a new agency. I personally believe they collude to do this at the exact same time, so that they can watch as the agencies forgo such luxuries as sleep, hygiene and sanity and clamour madly for their business.

Pitch season means your brain is pushed harder than you thought possible, as the pitch team in an agency come up with the most amazing kick-ass ideas, do hot creative mockups for these ideas, put them into a powerpoint presentation (have I mentioned how much I HATE powerpoint??) and then present them to the potential client in hope that you will blow their grey socks right off their corporate feet and leave them wondering how they managed without you for so long. Usually you don’t have much time to prepare these pitches. And it’s not like your normal workload goes away or anything. AND, time doesn’t magically stretch to accommodate all this. So how the hell do you get all of this done? you ask…

You don’t sleep. You sit around a boardroom table with cold pizza, balled up pieces of paper, hundreds of post-it notes, and other people just as tired as you, and you push your mind beyond it’s limits until 03h30 in the morning… for at least 2 nights per pitch. You time your team as you all rehearse for the gazillionth time so you don’t go over your strictly controlled presentation time limit. Sometimes you have an unplanned powernap (i.e. pass-out) in a chair in front of your CEO, Chairman, Creative Director and 2 members of your board at 12h30 (long story).

Then, before you know it, you’re standing in front of them. Bleary eyed and dizzy, but pumped. And you present your ideas, you sell yourself and you try to convey to them the passion that you will put into their brand if they appoint you. And before you know it, it’s all over. And then you wait…

2. Mzan.si went live

So, when tasked to put together some ideas for our client, South African Tourism, for their 2010 marketing, we had a brainstorm. And one of Quirk’s biggest brains, Scott Gray (who is a ginger so is obviously awesome), came up with the idea of a South African URL shortener. There are loads of URL shorteners out there, but there has never been one created for a country before. SA Tourism is known for their innovation online (The 1st tourism Google Earth layer in the core of Google, etc) so this fits perfectly with them, and will hopefully live way beyond 2010. I thought it would be so funky, as a South African, to have my country represented every time I shorten a URL. It’s another, subtle way of getting the name of this little place at the bottom of the world to be recognised by the big bad world. And I like using ‘Proudly South African’ products, so I dug the idea. And so did SAT, and so did the awesome, scary smart team of software engineers, designers and coders at Quirk.

So we built it. We’d never built one before, but I think we did a flippen great job. You can do all sorts of cool things with it, so register and try it out. And if you find any bugs, or have any feedback for improvements – there is a cool feedback form on the tool, the email inbox of which I am personally checking. So thank you to the Quirk team, who constantly amaze me, and to the SAT team for having the vision. It’s a little tool, it’s not going to change the world – but I’m proud of it. And that’s all that matters to me.

Oh – yes… you can see it here: http://mzan.si

3. I’M GETTING A MAC!

Yes, you read right. As an ex-graphic designer, I’ve always loved macs, always wanted one. They run better, faster and with less crashes than a PC. They have longer battery lives and are designed with the user in mind, as the best tools are, and they are an extension of every good designer’s body and mind. And then I became a geek and no self-respecting geek doesn’t have a mac so I wanted one even more. But I’m bad at saving money and macs, well, they’re not cheap. So I made do with a string of PCs – don’t get me wrong, I have no problems with PCs – I feel really at home on a PC and I’m just happy to have a laptop to be honest.

That doesn’t mean the shiny brushed aluminium piece of art with the glowing apple in the centre hasn’t always made me drool though. So much so that at the 1st GeekRetreat, Brett Haggard was convinced I was going to make off with his in the night. As with most things, I’m pretty vocal about my desire for a macbook. I don’t ask or demand or whine, I just quietly sigh and lovingly caress one every time I see one. It seems people noticed and to my partial pleasure and partial embarrassment, they all told the King Ginger – Rob Stokes – that I was such an adoring mac fan-girl that I have a mac-like object dock on my PC and I even had an apple desktop background for a while (I know, I know… I’m pathetic).

So when my laptop battery exploded in a shower of sparks (ok, not really, it just stopped working), I asked for a new battery. Imagine my surprise when I got told that I’m getting a macbook as a replacement. I don’t know why. I can only assume they want to shut me and every one of my ‘Get Heidi a Mac’ lobbyists up. But I’m so excited I think I may pee in my pants.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU to Rob, Mary and Janine!!! I’m hopefully getting it on Tuesday morning. I will be tweeting, twitpiccing and generally shouting from the hilltops, so you will see it.

So, now you know a little of what I have been up to. There are big things in store for me and for Quirk Jozi this year – I just feel it. So you may not hear from me very often, but I’ll check in with an insanely long blog post like this one every now and then, so you know I haven’t become a monk and moved to Siberia.

Bye for now!

Related posts:

1. Quirk: The first few days
2. The 2009 Geek Retreat
3. I’m gonna be a QuirkStar!

This event is very special to me – I attended the first one in June 2009 by fluke. I didn’t think I was meant to be there and vowed to stay quiet and say very little (a feat we all know to be impossible) just in case I couldn’t contribute anything meaningful. I quickly figured out that like Heather Ford says “Everyone who is here is meant to be here”. I made some amazing friendships at that retreat and discovered a deep-seated passion within myself for educating people and helping them to become successful. And I didn’t stay quiet.

So when the next one rolled around, I was filled with a mixture of excitement and dread. Yes, dread… that it would never live up to geekretreat1.0. That all the stories I told could not be relived and this would be just another conference. I’m sure you figured out by now that it can’t be like any other conference, bosberaad, lekgotla or whatever you want to call them. I’m not exaggerating when I say the GeekRetreat is pretty damn frikken magical.

That is because the GeekRetreat by it’s very nature cannot fail. We don’t set out objectives or agendas beforehand and every person there brings something different to the mix. So, if we get there and the collective mind decides this is nothing but a drinking weekend, then we succeed at making it one giant party. But it doesn’t become just another piss-up* because there are no expectations or rules apart from “No Tourists”, i.e. everyone must participate. This means that we actually want to make a difference – nobody is asking us to be there or making it part of our damn KPI’s – each and every one of us sacrificed something to be there and we set out to make it worthwhile for us.

So this is why it hurts me to see some of the negative comments from people who didn’t try to or want to understand the purpose of this weekend. So for you guys (most of whom I like and respect), let me set the record straight in plain English:

1. The Retreat is not “Elite” or Exclusive” – everyone was given a chance to apply to attend and all the previous retreaters were asked to nominate people who they thought should be there. The funny thing is, if the so called “circle jerking” theory held true, then the same bunch of people you see at every tweetup and 27Dinner would be there. Only 10 out of 50 people were second-timers. So after the open application and nomination process, a bunch of 50 people were chosen who a) fit the theme and b) are likely to contribute and share.

2. These people are not all geeks in the traditional “we all own macs, have more than 800 twitter followers and work in eMarketing/Social Media/Tech” sense. Since the theme this time round was Education, there were some amazing human beings from the Educational sector there. Yes, fo’ real. People who don’t have iPhones and Kindles, people who will really benefit from events like this and are now willing and able to take what they have learned into the place where it matters most; the classroom.

3. Of course not everyone who should’ve been there was – we know this. Every one of us there could have thought of 5 more people who should’ve come. It’s not actually possible to include every single person all of the time. And once you get beyond a certain size, you lose focus. I have to give huge kudos to Heather, Eve & Justin. I have no cooking clue how but they somehow managed to get a bunch of people together and not one of them was negative, lazy or free-loading. Having worked in corporate South Africa and gone to more conferences and team building things than I can count – I am totally flabbergasted.

4. There will be other retreats. And new groups of people who go. So if you really want to participate and you think you can add value, for chrissakes, apply. Seriously, it will change your life. Just ask Jarred.

I’m not trying to preach, I want every person out there to become as excited by this wonderful event that shows that our industry may just be starting signs of growing out of it’s baby clothes as I am. I know it is hard to support something you haven’t experienced, but by the same token, we should never knock something we don’t fully understand. After attending 2, I still don’t fully understand how and why the geekretreat works, but it does. It makes people happy and it incubates ideas that may just start to make a difference.

And that’s just fine by me.

* yes, there was drinking, but it never got in the way of the thinking.

Related posts:

1. The 2009 Geek Retreat

So, before we get through yet another decade, I suppose I should review the last 10 years of my life. Here goes:

2000

I am in Standard 9 (grade 11) at Bryanston High School. I’m a bit of a nerd who is head of the drama club but also have an ‘after-hours’ life which involves clubbing with my older boyfriend – we’ve been together for 2 years. He summarily dumps me halfway through the year. Lovely. I have an amazing group of friends and we get up to all sorts of shenanigans together. A few of these people are still very close to me (like Kirsten, my honourary sister), but most have faded into history.

2001

Matric. I become a prefect and direct a play that cleans up at the inter-house drama competition, giving me a huge ego. The play gets entered into the WITS RAPS play festival, where it bombs spectacularly, bringing my ego down to size. I don’t study as much as I should but still manage to scrape 2 distinctions. My Mother’s best friend and her husband die in a plane crash, this affects me deeply as they were my ’second parents’.

2002

I start studying graphic design at The Design School in Pretoria. To this day I have no idea why I chose the Pretoria campus when the Joburg campus was less than 7km from my home. I’m glad I did though because I meet Tanya. We aren’t very good friends initially but I now count her as one of the people closest to me. I buy a car – It is a 1987 metallic powder blue Nissan Exa. It has the ‘flip up’ lights and eveything. It breaks down a lot. It uses more oil than petrol – but it is mine and that is all that counts. I also start working as a waitress at Browns of Rivonia, where I meet Guy. Neither Guy or I know yet but meeting him will change my life.

2003

Second year of college is mostly a drunken blur – I get decent marks and even a few distinctions (when I actually pitch for lectures) but I spend most of my time partying with my friends Elsabe & Jaime. We get up to a LOT of shit and go on road trips to the coast together. I develop a penchant for British men, especially Scots. It ends badly. No more Brits for me, I vow. I fall for another Brit, that ends badly too. I go to England to do a short Graphic Design internship – it puts me off British men for life. I thoroughly enjoy my job at Browns, we are like a family (a totally dysfunctional one). My car breaks down even more than the year before. I spend most of my meagre salary on motor oil and speeding fines.

2004

I attend the 21st birthday party of a friend of Guy’s, his name is Dave. I spend the party trying to make Guy believe I am the most beautiful woman in the world and he must fall hopelessly in love with me. My futile spading efforts are interrupted by a skinny, tall ginger – a good friend of Guy’s. I have no idea who he is but he irritates me so I leave (before I can embarrass myself more). Halfway through the year I decide to move out of home. ‘Adult life’ is loads of fun and even though 2 minute noodles form the majority of my diet, I am loving being independant. Guy is like my brother (we even fight like brother and sister) and his tall skinny ginger friend returns from Zambia and spends a lot of time irritating me on my couch. But we become great buddies and he is always there to laugh at me when I return from one of my disastrous dates. It takes me a while but I eventually realise that we are meant to be together and I con him into going out with me (tickets to the Currie Cup final will get you everywhere). I finish college and start crapping myself because I have to enter the ‘real world’ the next year.

2005

I find myself a ‘day job’ as a graphic designer/general cook & bottle wash at a small printing company. I still waitress at Browns at night so I can pay for the now HUGE monthly bills needed to keep my car going. I eventually decide I need to get myself into more debt and get myself a new car so I buy a low mileage Corsa Lite – the bubble. The tall skinny ginger and I move in together so that I don’t default on my rent (my knight in shining armour). We live in a mangy flat in Randburg that was built by retarded drunk Irish midgets (everything is skew and broken) and our furniture is as old, stained and brown as the carpets. But we are very happy. Browns offers me the position of ‘Marketing Manager’ which sounds terribly important, so I take it.

2006

We leave the flat (thankfully) and move into a tiny one bedroom cupboard. But it is in one of the fanciest complexes in Morningside so we feel very successful. The tall skinny ginger works very long hours at his IT job and I try to match his hours at Browns, working nights as a floor manager and days as a ‘Marketing Manager’, which means I do eveything. Toward the end of the year I cant take the restaurant life anymore and I land a job at a Big Fancy Blue Bank as a graphic designer in their web department. I know nothing about the web so I bluff my way through it.

2007

The lease on the tiny cupboard expires and we decide we are sick of paying other people’s rent. We buy a house which looked amazing the first time we saw it an a complete dog when we took ownership 3 months later. Oh well, it is ours. I am doing well at the bank under my boss & mentor Stephen, I learn to code and immerse myself in the fascinating world of the web. I meet Rozz who introduces me to this new trend called Social Media. I am instantly addicted.

2008

I carry on carving my niche at the bank, and decide that despite 3 years of studying, 2 years of work and a R100 000 student loan, I actually don’t want to be a designer, I want to be an Online Marketer. I attend a few online marketing conferences and land a job in the very department I am angling to work in at the bank, despite no Marketing qualifications or experience. My boss, Bellinda, takes a chance on me and she inspires me to make an even bigger success out of myself. I work very hard and play very little. I somehow manage to lose 15kg though. I also decide that I am sick of being blonde so I dye my hair Auburn. I start this blog and join a puzzling social network called ‘Twitter‘.

2009

I work my butt off at the bank but then decide that I want to work even harder, so I start looking for a job. I remember attending a conference hosted by another ginger, and since gingers have a penchant for changing my life for the better, I apply for a job as an Account Manager at his eMarketing Agency. Despite having no experience at any agency (starting to become a recurring theme) he takes a chance on me and gives me the job (which I can actually thank the JHB boss, Mary for, apparently ) I am helluva lucky and work under another amazing and dynamic boss in Mary and an awe-inspiring (if crazy) CEO. I meet 2 equally crazy women through that puzzling social network, Twitter, which I am now totally addicted to. After many years of only really having male friends, I find myself with a network of wonderful female friends in Kirst, Rozz, Tanya, Exmi & Shebee. I decide to celebrate my success by getting myself into even more debt and buying a new car - a Yaris with my very own cheesy personalised numberplate. I feel blessed. I fall even more in love with my tall skinny ginger as we celebrate 5 years together. I also meet a plethora of wonderful people and business contacts through Twitter and at 27Dinners.

I work myself into a stupor but towards the end of the year it starts to pay off. I get promoted to Senior eMarketing Producer. I rest on a short holiday and start mentally preparing myself for a crazy but potentially very very important year….

2010

Related posts:

1. Snowgoose 2008: A year in review.

I had no idea.

So I had to think hard – and I’ve come up with a list. So if anyone out there is feeling generous enough in this cash-strapped month of Jan to get me a present – these items are what I covet, sorry – none of them are cheap:

1. The Paramore album “Brand New Eyes”

I don’t usually buy CD’s that aren’t by South African Artists but this band is über cool – I’m even considering doing my hair like their lead singer, Hayley Williams

2. The new Springleap T-shirt (Ladies Large) “Wright out the sky”

Now we all know I have a weakness for these babies – I have 9 of them. And I have just identified my 10th. It’s hot, isn’t it?

3. The Ultimate Loo Book

Don’t laugh – it is the largest collection ever of useless facts & trivia – I love trivia!

4. A bungee jump off Orlando Towers

I have wanted to bungee & skydive since I can remember – and this IS going to be the year I do it!

5. The Phillipi Angelo & Diablo Salt & Pepper shakers from Yuppie Chef

Yes, I know I don’t need them… but I want them!

6. Body Thrills

I adore Body Thrills and I really need some because someone owes me an order and now I’ve run out… *ahem*

I love the Body Spritz’, Body Scrubs,  Skin Balms, Shower Gels and the Hair Repair. No bath teas etc (I don’t have a bath). Flavours? Citrus, Sugar & Spice or Gingery type stuff – no rose or chocolate or cupcake – too sweet.

7. The new Eminem Album: Relapse

Eminem is my guilty pleasure – I have been a fan of his since high school and i have every one of his other albums. I know, you’re judging me – I don’t care.

8. Anything from Metallic Mermaid

Ok, I know I’m reaching here – cos they are in Knysna. *sigh* I bought some jewellery there on my holiday and I’m totally obsessed now. And the bags… did I mention the bags???

9. And finally.. This:

I may be having a l’il shindig to celebrate – I’m still deciding though.

So yeah… Happy Birthday to me!

No related posts.

The Ginger enjoying a couple of cold Castles while braaing my dinner - no driving involved!

I’m not going to get all sanctimonious in this post, I just need to state the facts. Who out there hasn’t or doesn’t know anyone who has ever been caught/been in an accident/crashed into something/hurt themselves while driving drunk? Hands up… anyone? Thought not.

Some of us have even had friends or family killed from drunk driving (whether they were the guilty ones or not). All you have to do is drive down any main road on a Friday or Saturday after 23h00 and you can see it first hand. And I’m not saying I’ve never done it – that’s the scary thing, in South Africa we like to make excuses for driving drunk “well, if they fixed the public transport then I wouldn’t have to” … blah blah blah right?

I don’t think we can make those excuses anymore – it’s getting pretty bad and even if you don’t drive that drunk, the guy in the car in front of you could be plastered and you’d better have pretty quick reflexes to avoid becoming part of his mistake, something you cant do after 4 beers. Since a colleague of The Ginger’s nearly had his life ruined from drinking and driving (think police chase, attempted murder charge, evading arrest etc etc) I have woken up a bit – if we go out together, one of us swaps alcohol for water after 2/3 drinks – it works. When I’m the designated driver – I get totally shocked at the insane driving I see on the way home at night. I wonder if it’s getting worse or if the fact that I’m sober now means I can see it better than I could, which is even more scary.

Yes, I’ll admit that being totally sober around a bunch of very merry people the whole night can get a tad irritating, but I’d rather be irritated and alive, thank you. Luckily, Castle Lager seems to have recognised that – they have started the ‘Castle Lager Designated Driver’ Campaign for the festive season.
“Every team needs a hero” is the core idea behind the campaign, which is aimed at promoting responsible drink driving over the festive period. The promotion is currently running at 80 venues around the country until the end of December 2009. People will be encouraged to nominate themselves as designated drivers for the night to Castle Lager promoters at the various venues. Willing participants will undergo a breathalyser test when they register and another one towards the end of the evening before they go home. To encourage minimal alcohol intake during the promotion, each designated driver will be given free soft drinks.

Not bad – I like the way you guys think – but if you really don’t want to be the ‘Designated Dave’ then why not take a cab? The nice folks at Castle have also partnered with SACAB and installed phones in each of the 80 venues so people have a direct, free call to a cab if they get a little too ‘festive’. I’ve been trying the designated driver thing out since I got the heads up from Castle and it’s not that bad at all, AND I don’t wake up with a hangover… bonus! I’ll be going on holiday in a few days time where I intend to drink, so I’ll test out the cabs and let you know.

So, Have a Merry Merry MERRY *hic* Christmas, but don’t drive drunk – you do have other options.

MWAH!

No related posts.

I was 10, my mother and father had been divorced for quite a while and my mom had just met a new man. He was amazing, or so everyone said. A rich, handsome and charismatic ex world champion sportsman who was the perfect catch. Except I never liked him, there was always something that just felt off.

We lived in this big fancy mansion on the hill and had everything we ever wanted. But it wasn’t long until the fights started, and those soon escalated into abuse. He believed that women ‘had their place’ and shouldn’t step out of it. My mom, bless her, made every excuse in the book – she had ‘fallen off her bike’, ‘tripped down the stairs’… you get the picture. Everyone knew what was going on but nobody thought it was their place to intervene.

3 years later and my mother was a broken woman – we had left many times. Slept at my grandmother’s house, on friends’ couches, even under the cutting table at her clothing factory one night. We kept going back though. It would be fine for a few months and then it would start again. The shouting and swearing and then the dull thuds, followed by weeping.

Materially, we had a dream existence, TVs in our custom designer bedrooms in a huge house, fancy holidays and presents. None of this made up for what happened when the lights went out, what my baby sister and I had to listen to. I even started hockey – not because I wanted to play it but because I got access to a hockey stick, the closest thing I had to a weapon. I lost count of how many nights I would roll up a towel under my sister’s door so it would block out the sound and then wait at the bottom of the stairs holding my hockey stick for dear life, trying to pluck up the courage to go attack him with it. I fell asleep on those stairs on many nights, in my ‘bad hair day’ bunny night, a 13 year old girl who did not know innocence.

Eventually, we left for the final time. We were living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with hardly anything but we were happy and we were together, and that was all that mattered.

The night that it happened was like any other Friday night; I was at the mall with my friends, just lurking like any other 13 year old. My mom was supposed to pick us up at 10pm. At 11:30 she pulled up and when we got in the car we smelled the petrol immediately. I initially didn’t connect it with the huge plume of smoke rising in the sky from his complex. It was only when the cops arrived and took my mother away that I realised it was more serious than anything that had come before. She torched his house – burned it to the ground. And you know what – I don’t blame her for it – I actually applaud her for it. Yes, her actions were extreme but she broke the cycle and to me, that is all that matters. It stopped after that, things got worse before they got better – but they got better.

I’ve told a few people this story and they all marvel at “how well I turned out in spite of the abuse”. I still believe that it wasn’t in spite of the abuse, it was because of it. But also because I’ve never been afraid to share my story with friends. It was only after @Shebegee’s inspirational and courageous blog post that I realised that the 16 Days of Activism campaign is not just about being aware of women & child abuse, but about those of us who managed to get out of the situations we were in telling our stories. Our stories will hopefully give the people who are still stuck in that cycle some hope. All we can do is show them that there is a way out, that life can get better.

On Friday night I had a dinner with some awesome ladies. Afterwards I stood in the rain for 20 minutes watching the musical fountains and marvelling at my wonderful life. I have everything I ever dreamed of, and I’m thankful.

I stopped the cycle, I’m one of the lucky ones. If you or one of your loved ones is getting abused, get out. Now.

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I emailed Halfway Toyota in Fourways on Wednesday to find out if they could service it today – they emailed back within 5 minutes to confirm the service and then SMSed me yesterday to remind me and to give me their details in case I needed to contact them.

I drove in 15 minutes early this morning and a hot Scottish guy named Dave met me at my car, explained what would happen with it and took my keys. I was then ushered to a swanky lounge with yummy capuccinos to wait for my lift to the office. It turns out I didn’t need the lift as Mary was on her way to get me, they were totally cool with the fact that I asked for the lift, cancelled it, asked for it again and cancelled it again. (long story)

I was in a presentation the whole day and they called me spot on as the presentation ended (this could just be luck but I’m attributing it to mental telepathy, mmmkay?). Hot Scottish Dave and the awesome Megan from their service department informed me that my baby was all serviced and clean and that a driver was being dispatched to collect me.

My car is running perfectly – it’s clean and it smells great – and it was all totally free of charge! (this is the first time I’ve had a service plan on a car so forgive my excitement)They are even arranging to get a part that some twat stole off my car for me.

In a world where crappy service has be come the norm, this kind of personal attention is inspiring. Every single person I encountered there was friendly and helpful – on a Friday afternoon when they have license to be a bit grumpy, I would be helluva grumpy! The thing that really makes me smile is that I drive a Yaris, not a big fancy Lexus, not a Prado. If they treat me like this now, I can’t wait to buy a Lexus one day – can you imagine what they would do then?!?

I will take my car there for every single service – even if I move to Siberia!

Thank you Dave, Megan, Simon the Driver and all the other people at Halfway Toyota in Fourways – you made my Friday.

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It was sent by RSAWEB, who it seems, know geeks pretty well. I’ve always said “Give a blogger a t-shirt and he’ll be your friend for life”, now can you imagine getting a t-shirt, a badge AND a sticker!?! It’s like Geek Christmas!

Wow, whoever you great people at RSAweb are, however you found me – you rock the party man.

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5 years ago today I took a boy out on a date. I was 20 years old and he was 24. I didn’t really like rugby much but  I knew he loved it so I negotiated and wangled and I managed to get 2 tickets to the Currie Cup final at Loftus, Bulls vs. Cheetahs. The game had been sold out since the Tuesday before so my tickets were like gold. I didn’t realise it until I walked up to the boy I liked and presented him with the tickets… and his jaw hit the floor. The Bulls won that day, and so did I.

In the last 5 years we’ve had some pretty amazing times. Like the time we went to Sun City with all our friends and we all got totally trashed playing drinking games. We’d been dating for just over a month and he got the shock of his life when I decided to jump in the pool fully clothed, and passed out. He had to save me with the help of his friend and I didn’t even thank him – I ran up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door. He didn’t get pissed off – he got me into my PJ’s and made sure I was comfortable. (I think – my memory is a bit fuzzy from that night ;-p)

Then there was my 21st birthday. I was so proud to parade my awesome boyfriend around in front of all my friends and family. Everyone kept saying what a good looking couple we were – I had to agree…

I’m sure you’re waiting for me to say we’ve had some bad times and some good. But that would be a lie – we’ve only ever fought once and we’ve never gone to bed angry. We have had some crazy adventures together though – like the infamous Bloem Trip. We had gotten box tickets to the Springboks vs. England in Bloemfontein the Monday before the game. We tried to book accommodation the whole week and eventually found what seemed to be the only room left in the whole of Bloem. So we drove for 4.5 hours and started looking for our hotel room. The GPS we had borrowed kept taking us toward a really dodgy area- so we dismissed it as broken/stupid and asked one of the locals for directions. When we gave him the address he whistled and said “You don’t want to stay there, it’s the most dangerous area in town” – so it seemed there was a reason it was the only room left! We watched the game (we were conned – the tickets weren’t box tickets – they were behind the posts!) and then proceeded to drive back to Joburg…. we got home at 2am, exhausted, grumpy and sunburned. But it was a fantastic day – one we wouldn’t take back for the world.

The thing about my boyfriend and our relationship that I love most is that we are best friends. We really love eachothers’ company and we don’t need anyone else to  make us happy. At the same time though – neither of us is clingy, we can easily spend a night out or a weekend apart without getting too antsy or upset. We trust eachother and are never really jealous or possessive of eachother. We are able to laugh at eachother and act the fool – even if it means dressing up and making complete chops out of ourselves.

So to my ginger – you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than life itself. Thank you for the most magical 5 years ever – and I know we’ll start the next 5 off on a good note when The Bulls win against the Cheetahs in the Currie Cup final next weekend and when we listen to the Parlotones play our song at their concert the week after.

Thank you Shaun, I love you.

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