So I Married an ADDer

Cute baby!

2008-09-24T10:21:48-04:00

Jen and I are in the middle of running the Virtual AD/HD Conference, but I had to take a moment to share something with you.

Yesterday, Jen emailed me this magazine cover that you see below, with the subject line "Cute baby!"

I was too busy to respond at the time, but I brought it up while we were getting ready for bed.

"So Clay Aiken finally came out, huh?" I said.

"What?!! Tell me!" answered Jen.

"You're the one that told me! You sent me the cover of People Magazine."

"Right, with his cute baby."

"Yeah, and the words YES I'M GAY in giant letters."

"You're kidding! All I saw was the baby."

Folks, this is ADD at its finest. When you can completely overlook the blaring headline and see only the cute baby.

It is a pretty cute baby, though.

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Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) Community Comes Together For First Ever Virtual Conference

2008-09-02T21:50:41-04:00

Twenty-two of the most celebrated doctors, therapists, and coaches in the field of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) are coming together for the first time in a virtual setting. From September 22-24, 2008, people affected by AD/HD, including parents, service professionals, and AD/HD adults, will hear live presentations from experts including:

- Dr. Edward Hallowell, author of "Driven to Distraction"
- Dr. Daniel Amen, author of "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life"
- Sari Solden, MS, LMFT, author of "Journeys Through ADDulthood"

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) is a condition characterized by attention inconsistencies, impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity. AD/HD affects an estimated 5% of the population worldwide.

"The Virtual AD/HD Conference™ is a unique opportunity for people to get all the tools they need to succeed from top experts, without ever leaving home," says Jennifer Koretsky of the ADD Management Group, who is hosting the conference along with Terry Matlen of ADD Consults.

Adds Matlen, "Everyone can participate at their own pace and attend only the presentations that most interest them. This conference has all the benefits of an in-person conference without the travel expense and hassle."

The live presentations will delve into important topics in AD/HD, such as:

- Medication and Alternative Treatments
- Addictions and Eating Disorders
- Success Strategies for Kids, Teens & College Students
- Time Management and Organization
- Career Management
- And much more

The Virtual AD/HD Conference™ will center on an interactive, participant-only website, which means that everything attendees need to participate in the conference and connect with their peers is located in one, easy-to-use online space. Participants will have the option to listen to each presentation live via webcast or via telephone, and share their thoughts in dedicated discussion forums.

In addition, the conference will host networking sessions in live chat rooms where attendees can connect with one another. There will also be a virtual exhibit hall of AD/HD products and services. Plus, attendees will have the opportunity to purchase an audio CD set with printed transcripts of all the presentations.

The conference is open to the public. Registrations are being taken online at http://www.ADHDconference.com.

What Time Is It?

2008-08-29T15:32:57-04:00

It's a simple question, really. "What time is it?" Typically, when you ask most people what time it is, they glance at their watch, or at the nearest clock, and give you an accurate answer.

But as we've established, my ADD partner Jen is not like most people. Whenever I ask her what time it is, I only get the hour. "8-something." We've been together for nearly 7 years, and I don't think she's ever told me the minutes.

Although this has always annoyed me, I never brought it up until the other day. "What do you mean I only give the hour?" she asked.

"You never say it's 5:25 or 5:47, only that it's 5-something," I answered.

Jen thought about it for a moment and then explained, "Well, unless I have an appointment, I don't need to know the exact time. I know if it's 6-something I should be making dinner. If it's 10-something I should be winding down for the night. What do I care about the minutes?"

To me, this seems like an ineffective timetable, but she does have a point. I don't technically need to know the minutes, either, in most situations. It's just standard practice. That's why we have clocks with a minute hand. And that's why, when I ask what time it is, I'm expecting more than one number.

I should probably start wearing a watch.

Lobster Bibs

2008-08-21T12:20:39-04:00

As I was drifting off into a peaceful sleep the other night, I was suddenly awoken by my parter Jen, in typical fashion.

"Erin, why are there lobster bibs?"

"I don't know, Jen, go to sleep."

"No, really. Is lobster that messy?"

"I don't know, Jen."

"Is it because of the butter?"

"Maybe. Good night."

"I would think crab legs are messier than lobster."

"All shellfish has splash potential. Go to sleep."

"That's disgusting. Good night."

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Come hungry. Leave happy.

2008-08-15T14:56:41-04:00

Since Jen and I have lost our taste for industrial food, there are very few restaurants we actually enjoy going to. And the ones that do serve traditional food are often pricey "special occasion" restaurants. So in the past year, we've gone from eating out several times a week to eating out once a month, if that. Given the choice, I will enthusiastically take Jen's cooking over some casual dining concoction bearing the word "sizzlin," but I do miss the act of restaurant dining.

Until I gave it some thought, I assumed I liked eating out so much because it meant no hassle and no cleanup. But one night last week, it dawned on me. When we eat home, Jen gets up from the table a minimum of 3 times during the meal.

"Be right back, I need to get a sweater."

"Be right back, I need to go find the salt."

"Oh shit, I left the stove on."

It was then that I realized I like eating out so much because Jen is forced to give me her undivided attention. It's a rare occasion that I don't get put on pause for random distractions, so I've come to really appreciate the whole dining out experience.

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U-overdid it

2008-07-02T17:49:27-04:00

If you've never been to the Hudson River Valley, there's a lot you're missing. Not only is it dubbed "New York's American Masterpiece," but it's one of only a handful of official National Heritage areas in the country.

Living here definitely has its perks. Jen and I reside in the foothills of the Shawangunk Mountains, surrounded by orchards and wineries. In the summer, there's a lot of u-pick going on, and since we're fresh food junkies, we decided to get in on the action last weekend.

On a hot tip from our go-to nutritionist Holly, we hit an orchard right down the road from our house. Never having u-picked before, we asked the teenagers in charge how to proceed. They handed us a utility bucket and sent us into a maze of cherry trees.

Not one to ever figuratively (or literally, it turns out) pick the low-hanging fruit, I stood under each tree, diligently plucking only the best-looking cherries, most of which were above my head. Meanwhile, Jen bolted randomly through the trees, calling out to me, "Erin, I hit the jackpot over here! Oh wait, here's a better one!" I think she only took about 5 cherries from each tree.

We had only been at it about 15 minutes when our bucket started getting full. I suggested that maybe we should stop. Jen said, "Oh come on. Let's just fill the bucket. How much could it possibly hold, 5 pounds? So we'll freeze some." And as always, I listened to her.

By the time the bucket could hold no more cherries, I had to lift it up and carry it like a baby. The handle was useless. We made our way down the hill and were relieved of our bucket baby by the teenagers. One of them said, "This is $45, easy." Jen laughed. But I knew he wasn't kidding.

We picked 17.4 pounds of cherries.

It took hours for Jen to process them once we got home. We now have a basket of cherries on the kitchen counter, a plastic grocery bag full of cherries in the fridge, 4 jars of cherry compote, 2 gallon-size bags and 4 quart-size bags of whole cherries in the freezer, and a plate full of cherries with the stems on that we're going to preserve in brandy for Christmas.

When I called my mother and told her about all this, the first thing she said was, "I hope they're not pitted."

They're pitted.

The lesson to be learned here is this: If you ever find yourself picking fruit with someone with ADD, don't let them be the one to assess how much fruit is enough to take home.

Later this month, the same orchard has u-pick peaches, and after that, u-pick apples. We're gonna need a bigger freezer.

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Erin Get Your Gun

2008-06-06T14:27:24-04:00

I recently learned something about myself that I'd suspected all along. I can shoot a rifle. And I can shoot it with better precision than a lot of people.

Those of you who know me may have a hard time picturing me with a gun. My personality doesn't exactly scream badass. My hobbies up until now have been singing and dancing. I enjoy doing the Jumble. I have a fondness for bunnies. You get the idea.

And yet I've long been drawn to arcade and carnival games that involve shooting. I loved those western-style shooting galleries where you hit the cowboy with a laser to make him play ragtime on the piano. And I was a master at Duck Hunt on Nintendo. So I thought, why not try it with a real gun?

I went to a women's introductory shooting workshop last weekend at a local gun club, and just as I suspected, I'm quite the target shooter. I overheard one of the gun club guys telling another guy that I was gifted. I came home with a bunch of paper targets with obliterated bullseyes.

I'm totally living the whole self-esteem through mastery thing. I haven't felt this proud of myself in a long, long time. I'm excited to get back on the range and work toward joining a competition league.

Meanwhile, Jen has found a new outlet for her skills, as well. She just started a summer-long women's group led by a nutritionist. Last night they cooked kale and made their own cheese. Wild horses couldn't drag me to that kind of thing.

The point in me telling you all this is that Jen and I are discovering that having separate hobbies and activities is really good for our relationship. Countless experts have stressed the importance of maintaining individuality after marriage, and a big component of that is having separate interests. If you spend all of your time together, you can "merge" or become too insular. Jen and I were definitely suffering the effects of that, but now that I have my things and she has hers, we're both much happier.

And I look hot with a rifle.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.” ~ Albert Einstein

2008-06-04T15:17:24-04:00

As the Operations Director and resident non-ADDer of AMG, I have to be organized. My role is to create (and keep up with) the systems that allow the company to run smoothly. I've always been a "details" kinda gal, and I have a longstanding love affair with spreadsheets, so this is the perfect gig for me.

But I'm no great pillar of organization. I have my challenges, which as you know include accounting. But I also struggle with managing my time.

At my first job out of college, everyone always stayed an hour or more past closing time; some to legitimately catch up on work, most to "look busy" while racking up "face time" at the office. But there was one girl (we'll call her Alyssa), who was out the door at closing time every single day. Everyone gossiped about Alyssa's habitual "leaving on time," but she was promoted early and often. Why? Because Alyssa got more done in 40 hours a week than everyone else did in 50 or 60.

Most of us are not like Alyssa. Especially for people with ADD, the infamous to-do list can seem so massive and overwhelming that nothing on it actually gets done. Thinking you have too much to do and no time to do it can be totally paralyzing. It leads to stress, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy.

So what can we do to be more like Alyssa? How can we learn to accomplish what we need to in a reasonable amount of time, so that we have more time to relax enjoy ourselves?

I've tried so many different techniques and systems for managing my time. Nothing so far has really stuck. I still find myself sitting down at my desk going, "Oh crap. What do I have to do today?" And yesterday, as I was sending an email to the members of Jen's new Time Management Masters Seminar, it dawned on me that I should really be taking the seminar.

So I am! Last night was the first live class, and I really got a lot out of it. In fact, I'm going to download the class recording off the website and burn it onto a CD for the car. There are notes and worksheets that I'm going to download, as well. I feel really confident that I can get a handle on my to-do list now. I'm actually excited.

It's not too late to join the Time Management Masters Seminar. The first live class was last night, but the recording is available for download, and there are still 3 more live classes. If you're interested, visit the web page at http://www.ADDmanagement.com/coaching/timemanagement.html. We can do it together!

The Save Erin Sale

2008-05-27T14:19:52-04:00

As many of you know, I'm in charge of all things operations for the ADD Management Group. That includes systems, technology, and of course, accounting.

The problem is I'm a crappy accountant.

There you go, my secret is out. I sometimes screw up the finances. This is one of those times.

The nice people at American Express have imposed some serious consequences on me, and I need to pay them immediately. So I'm taking the liberty of having a sale on our coaching toolkits from now through Friday.

I'm calling it The Save Erin Sale. Using the coupon code ERIN, you will get $10 off one of our coaching toolkits, Kiss Your Clutter Goodbye or Taming the Family Circus. And you will get $25 off any 2 toolkits using the coupon code ERIN2.

Kiss Your Clutter Goodbye takes you step by step through the most ADD-friendly way to get rid of your clutter. Non-ADDers like me love it, too. By following along with this toolkit, you will:

1. Sort through your stuff and get rid of all that crap!
2. Create organizational systems that will work for you.
3. Develop structure to maintain your new systems and keep the clutter away for good.

Taming the Family Circus offers unique, effective ideas for controlling the chaos at home. Whether you are a parent with ADD, have children with ADD, or both, this toolkit will teach you how to:

1. Take care of yourself in order to take care of your family.
2. Create a peaceful home environment that nurtures strengths and success.
3. Develop structure that will put your whole family at ease.

Both toolkits consist of an audio CD and handbook. Our toolkits are backed by 110% guarantee. This offer is only valid May 27-30, 2008.

So please, if you don't already own these fantastic toolkits, take advantage of The Save Erin Sale. Don't forget to use coupon code ERIN for one toolkit and ERIN2 for 2 toolkits.

Kiss Your Clutter Goodbye!

Taming the Family Circus

And if I haven't convinced you, perhaps this adorably irresistible otter will do the trick:

Thank you for your support!

Rate Your Wife!

2008-05-15T14:04:36-04:00

Jen recently came across something very disturbing yet oh-so-fun on the psychology/neuroscience blog Mind Hacks. It's a wife rating scale from the 1930's. That's right, I said wife rating, as in, is your wife up to snuff with the standards of the day.

It reminded me of that heinous "How To Be a Good Wife" passage from the high school home economics textbooks of the 50's. ("Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.")

Of course we had to take the assessment. First you have to score your wife on "demerits" -- Is she slow in coming to bed? Does she fail to darn socks regularly? -- and then on "merits" -- Does she have meals ready on time? Can she play a musical instrument?

A score between 0-24 indicates that, as wives go, yours is "very poor (failures)". I scored a 6. Guess what Jen scored.

-16.

Off the charts, abysmal failure. Worst wife ever.

Amusingly enough, all of the shortcomings of a 1930's housewife are characteristically ADD. Slow in coming to bed, often late for appointments, doesn't have meals ready on time, doesn't keep the house tidy. It makes you wonder how women with ADD managed to cope back then. Maybe they were the suffragists and first-wave feminists. Jen certainly would have been. And I would have been peering out of my perfectly pressed lace curtains, wishing I was marching with her.

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