Puns

Tumblr Thread: Roombas Are Beautiful Beings

mattstaff — Tue, 10 Nov 2020 22:00:00 -0800

It's weird. Humans have this ingrained proclivity to attach themselves to the most unexpected objects. Like, for instance, a Roomba. You never know. You find that Roomba cleaning up your perfect mess and suddenly you're infatuated with this beautiful piece of technology. If you enjoyed this Tumblr thread check out some more Tumblr gold with this thread about the Chilean Cat Foreman.

Paper Puns

JoeO — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 08:00:00 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 10:00:01 -0800

A Tramp Stamp of Massive Scale

matthewmartell — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:00:00 -0700

You get it guys? Because dragons are scaly and massive, so the tramp stamp is on a massive scale... #ThisisthePartWhereCricketSoundsHappen - Matty Malaprop

It's A Present I Haven't Felt In A Very Long Time

itsbutton — Fri, 01 Nov 2013 04:00:00 -0700

Milk Wazowski

kacerosky — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 06:00:00 -0800

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 16:00:29 -0700

The Scariest Element on the Table, Period.

JoeO — Mon, 02 Dec 2013 08:00:00 -0800

Untitled

matthewmartell — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 16:30:23 -0700

Bad HTML Pun

matthewmartell — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 18:00:00 -0700

Punmaster IUgrad505 says: "Cheezburger is great when you need a < br > from life."

I see what you did there, sir (ma'am?). And I appreciate such a < strong > punny statement. - Matty Malaprop

Proof That Single-Mom's Can Do it All

kacerosky — Sat, 26 Mar 2016 04:00:00 -0700

Even the Dad jokes.

TWIST ENDING: They Don't Even Serve Seafood!

matthewmartell — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 10:00:00 -0700

In fact they're a high-end restaurant devoted solely to fancy beef dinners, and the mother in the story is pescetarian. All in all the whole evening ended up being a total cabasstrophe. - Matty Malaprop

Beware of Landmimes!

matthewmartell — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:00:00 -0700

Further proof that you should be wary of anything that could possibly be classified as "silent but deadly." - Matty Malaprop

No Bell Left Behind...

matthewmartell — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 10:00:00 -0800

**Punmaster Sofa-Knee says:** "'The smartest bell is the Nobel.' - The Man" I don't know which "man" **Sofa-Knee** is referring to, but I'm quite fond of the quote! - Matty Malaprop

But He Was Born This Way! Lady Gaga Wrote a Song About Him!

matthewmartell — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:00:00 -0700

All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop

Punny Memes That Any Dad Would Approve Of

Meeeeesh — Fri, 27 Sep 2019 18:00:00 -0700

Do you like terrible jokes that make you groan? If so, you might be a dad. Hell, even if you're not a dad, we think you'll enjoy these funny memes that utilize the worst-possible jokes just for your dumb enjoyment. Keep in mind, we have to sift through and read all of these. We hope you're happy.

Maybe Your Computer Just Needs New Legs?

matthewmartell — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 06:00:00 -0800

Windows is like a box of chocolates. I'll let you figure out precisely what that means. - Matty Malaprop

He Won't Hesitate to Darth Maul You

matthewmartell — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 06:00:00 -0700

A brother to a pun of yore, but far more ferocious (and with flashier CG).

What Do You Call a Girl Without a Clue That She's Not Understanding a Trick Question? This Girl

kacerosky — Thu, 12 May 2016 02:00:00 -0700

Untitled

MildlyAmused — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 06:00:23 -0700

Finally a Stripper That Works on More Than Just a Pole

kacerosky — Tue, 05 Nov 2013 06:00:00 -0800

The Prices Are a Little Steep, Though...

matthewmartell — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 08:00:00 -0700

Judging from a quick scan of the audience, I'm fairly certain every event they host is a black tie affair. - Matty Malaprop

A Very Snowpy Christmas

kacerosky — Wed, 25 Dec 2013 04:00:00 -0800

Hitting the Funny Bone

Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:00:00 -0800

Don't Mess With Nintendo's New Spokesperson

matthewmartell — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:00:00 -0700

You wouldn't like him when he's Reggie-Gigas. - Matty Malaprop

Pokémemes -- Gotta catch 'em LOL!

Some Parliamentary Humor

grapelexicon — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 04:00:00 -0700

Something Fishy

matthewmartell — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 18:00:00 -0700

Awwww, come on! What did that rainbro ever do to you, hungry fish-loving foiler? - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

matthewmartell — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 10:00:58 -0800

Nice Legs, Neville!

matthewmartell — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 08:00:00 -0700

Maybe his love of vegetables is a contributing factor to his svelte physique? - Matty Malaprop

Another One Bites the Dust

matthewmartell — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:00:00 -0800

Click the word "obligatory" for an obligatory. - Matty Malaprop

My Favorite Jam? "Apu-na Matata."

matthewmartell — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 12:00:00 -0700

Finally, a good use of all those Kwik E Mart paychecks I've been saving! - Matty Malaprop

Knocktor Knocktor...

matthewmartell — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:00:00 -0700

If the comments on this post deteriorate into a "Who's on first" gag, I swear to god punmasters... - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

MildlyAmused — Fri, 14 May 2010 06:00:20 -0700

Popsicle Sticks: Still Teaching Kids Puns

theresaburger — Sun, 30 Jun 2013 10:00:00 -0700

He's An Ambi-Roundhousekicker!

matthewmartell — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:00:00 -0800

The compass rose aligns the way it does because Eastwood kicked it into that position, you know. - Matty Malaprop

Cannot Tell if Secret to Beating Ganon or Unnecessary Plot Device

matthewmartell — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800

Either way, it sure does look Sheik! - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

matthewmartell — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:00:06 -0700

Watching a Little Football

matthewmartell — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 08:00:00 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 11:00:30 -0700

It Was a Big Advantage in the Dark Ages

matthewmartell — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:00:00 -0800

I know they were the soldiers of their era, but knights have always seemed sword of condescending to me... - Matty Malaprop *Anyone know who created this comic? Let me know in the comments!*

These 13 Illustrations Of Literal Idioms Are Literally Funny

FightMilk22 — Fri, 16 Aug 2019 22:00:00 -0700

Soo-weeeeeeeeeeeee!

matthewmartell — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:00:00 -0700

Ugh, now I'm just having flashbacks of that stupid Geico commercial... - Matty Malaprop

His Ex Got Impaled? Haddaway to Go!

matthewmartell — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:00:00 -0800

Anyone have a FLAC rip of this jam? The version I have on my computer skips about 2:15 in. I'm chocking it up to Vladislav Delay. #hipsterjokes - Matty Malaprop

Just Your Garden-Variety Hedgehog

matthewmartell — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 12:00:00 -0700

I'd like to believe this animal is well on his way to international success, but with hedgehogs like Sonic running around, I'm a little worried that he just won't make the cut. - Matty Malaprop

Can't We Just Work Alto-gether Now?

matthewmartell — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 08:00:00 -0700

They commenters really knocked this perfect pitch out of the park, now didn't they? - Matty Malaprop

He's My Favorite Marvel-Type Pokémon

matthewmartell — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:00:00 -0700

He can hypnotize me anytime, if you know what I mean. - Matty Malaprop

I See What You Kitteh'd There

matthewmartell — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 10:00:00 -0700

Stupid joke is stupid... but also, KITTEHS! - Matty Malaprop

Brown and Sticky

matthewmartell — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 10:00:00 -0800

This could have gone a lot ruffer. Y'all should be thankful for the dopey punchline. - Matty Malaprop Cute puppies and funny doggies: I Has a Hotdog has 'em all!

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 13:30:35 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 06:00:47 -0700