Puns

Classic!

JoeO — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 12:00:34 -0800

Nope, I Don Don't

Kyler_Cheez — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 04:00:00 -0800

They Couldn't Be More Opposite

matthewmartell — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 06:00:00 -0700

At full strength, one of them makes you feel powerful, while the other one shuts you down completely. - Matty Malaprop

Just Be Ready With a Riposte and You'll Be Fine

matthewmartell — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800

If you're quick, you'll be able to catch him when he's not en garde! - Matty Malaprop

WMCs

matthewmartell — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 08:00:00 -0700

I kind of take issue with this pun; A simple piece of heavy machinery can't construct mass! That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop

Nelly Purrtado's Latest Hit

matthewmartell — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:00:00 -0700

GPOY me in da club. All the ladies be wanting my nuts, but I'm a really really tough cache. - Matty Malaprop

So Yeah, About That Whole 'Invincibility' Thing...

matthewmartell — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 06:00:00 -0700

Methinks someone's disingenuousness might also be their Achille's heel... - Matty Malaprop

If Only He Was a Fencer...

matthewmartell — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 06:00:00 -0700

... then he could be LeSabre. - Matty Malaprop

Human Santapede

ichc.brian — Sun, 15 Mar 2015 06:00:00 -0700

Human Santapede

Capital Punishment

matthewmartell — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 08:00:00 -0800

It's cruel, sure, but it's still not the harshest sentence. That would be Helvetica Punishment. - Matty Malaprop

I'm a Huge One

matthewmartell — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 08:00:00 -0700

Except for sludge metal. That stuff never seems to blow over very well with me. - Matty Malaprop

An Amazon Package Trapped This Person in Their House, and Amazon Responded With a Terrible Pun

Amemeda — Tue, 05 Jan 2016 02:00:00 -0800

Untitled

Mon, 04 Oct 2010 06:00:21 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 16:30:49 -0700

Well, I Mean, Yes?

matthewmartell — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 10:00:00 -0700

I'm far more partial to bow ties. I mean, do you have any idea how convenient it is to be able to shoot people at formals when they start blathering about Mitt Romney and tax codes? - Matty Malaprop

We're Gonna Die Young

matthewmartell — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 08:00:00 -0800

... that makes one of us, anonymous submitter. Because I certainly do not. - Matty Malaprop

Before You Furget the Beauty of the Simple Things

matthewmartell — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 10:00:00 -0700

If you don't take some time every day to simply relax and think, the results your busybody life will have on your mental health could be catastrophic. - Matty Malaprop

They're Snatchin' Your Bandwidth Up

theresaburger — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 04:00:00 -0700

Two For One

theresaburger — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 04:00:00 -0700

Criminals Like That Deserve to Do Time

matthewmartell — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 12:00:00 -0700

Of all the things to steal... but I mean, on the bright side, at least now they have a way to mark the days they spend doing time, right? - Matty Malaprop

Don't be mean; BE MEME! Animal Memes is just a click away!

MoonPie Reminds Us Dad Jokes Are The Best With One Tweet

mattstaff — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 17:00:00 -0700

MoonDad is DEFINITELY the real MVP.

Untitled

matthewmartell — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:00:25 -0700

Pearparazzi

JoeO — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 14:00:00 -0700

AKA the Dance of the Sugar Bun Faeries

matthewmartell — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:00:00 -0700

Oh man, those frosting flourishes-turned-pasties are straight up risque! They really undercut this lady's otherwise oh-so-sweet exterior. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

MildlyAmused — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 10:00:01 -0700

Make Sure You Never Need Help From the IT Department First

kacerosky — Sat, 12 Mar 2016 02:00:00 -0800

Indeed He Will

matthewmartell — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 06:00:00 -0800

Well wasn't that just so polite of him to cash out for his crime? - Matty Malaprop

Something Tells Me We're Not in Kansas Anymore...

matthewmartell — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 18:00:00 -0700

I mean HONESTLY whoever heard of talking vultures in the great state of Kansas? - Matty Malaprop

Now I'm Allergic to Puns Too

theresaburger — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 05:00:00 -0700

Because a Good Breakfast Always Brings the Family Together

matthewmartell — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 10:00:00 -0800

In my family, it's tradition to always start breakfast with a lovely toast. - Matty Malaprop

This Whole Situation is a Total...

matthewmartell — Sat, 21 May 2011 06:00:00 -0700

Oh mallard! Things are getting really real up in this house right now. - Matty Malaprop

He's On General Mills' Personal Watch List

matthewmartell — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 10:00:00 -0700

Don't let his maniacal sadism wear on you, boys! We're bound to catch him in the act spooner or later! - Matty Malaprop

The Body, The Blood, The Bread Machine

matthewmartell — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:00:00 -0800

Sure, these are pretty clever, but they'll do you a fat latke of good when a bread-enthusiast turned door-to-door missionary comes knockin'. - Matty Malaprop **Social media at its best and worst on Failbook!**

Equally Dangerous

theresaburger — Wed, 22 May 2013 10:00:00 -0700

Science lab protip: always wear shoes.

Or Whale Will?

kacerosky — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 06:00:00 -0800

A Very Evil Hare

JoeO — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Camping Gets Pretty In Tents

Amemeda — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 04:00:00 -0800

Kindle Fire

theresaburger — Thu, 26 Mar 2015 02:00:00 -0700

The Least Clever Post in So Much Pun History

matthewmartell — Wed, 23 May 2012 06:00:00 -0700

Aaaaaaaaaaand this is what we in the business refer to as "the bottom of the barrel." - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

matthewmartell — Wed, 11 May 2011 15:30:35 -0700

Just Don't Try to Faucet

matthewmartell — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 08:00:00 -0700

Because that's the kind of behavior that will dig you a watery grave in court. - Matty Malaprop

17 Incredibly Dumb Celebrity Puns That Had Us ROFLing

Meeeeesh — Sun, 06 Oct 2019 17:00:00 -0700

These celebrity name puns might just be the epitome of the dad joke, but we're really okay with that. Sometimes puns just catch you by surprise with their wit and you don't even think about how stupid they are!

You can click here for even more terrible yet clever dad jokes!

Everybody Gonna Cook Some Stir Fry

matthewmartell — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 06:00:00 -0800

... everyday I'm sataying? - Matty Malaprop

This Submission Bites

matthewmartell — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:00:00 -0700

I kept the user title for this one because yes. Yes it does. - Matty Malaprop

Imagine Her Chagrin When She Realized She Was Holding a Fern

matthewmartell — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 10:00:00 -0700

... but I guess that's just the kind of infernal luck she always has. - Matty Malaprop

These Puns Are Golden

theresaburger — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 06:00:00 -0700

It Was Only a Fish, It Was Only a Fish

kacerosky — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 04:00:00 -0800

Seven of Nyan

matthewmartell — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 06:00:00 -0700

If you ask me, Seven of Nyan was truly Jeri Ryan's strongest role. - Matty Malaprop

Sherk Pls!

matthewmartell — Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:00:00 -0700

I have absolutely no idea what Shrek and Shadow the Hedgehog have in common, but I CANNOT. STOP. LAUGHING. - Matty Malaprop