Puns

Funny Bad Parking Notes Written By Animals

elinorsalo — Mon, 19 Aug 2019 22:00:00 -0700

Classic Sayings That Are Kind Of Wrong

Eric Lund — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 18:00:00 -0800

Maybe we need to modernize our list of idioms, because a lot of them seem to be wishful thinking. Between the many contradictory sayings, the ones that can't stand to scrutiny, and the ones that are flat-out wrong, it seems like we're ready for an update. Some popular sayings are just kind of BS. And for others, the full versions of those classic sayings totally change their meaning.

You Wouldn't Want Your Test Score to be 007

kacerosky — Mon, 18 Nov 2013 06:00:00 -0800

A Case of the Mondays

matthewmartell — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 06:00:00 -0700

Sometimes there's nothing you can do but drown your Monday in booze and regret. And as you're wallowing in self-pity, at least take heart in knowing if you had tried to get away from dealing with this Monday, you might have this gamer's predicament.

But while you are steadily losing the ability to form coherent thoughts, hold off a little on the jungle juice and have some Manic Monday memes as a side dish to your raging alcoholism.

Shaq-Pun-Attack

kacerosky — Mon, 18 Nov 2013 08:00:00 -0800

The Sixth Sense

matthewmartell — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:00:00 -0700

Unfortunately, it's not a sense one can very well possess when struggling against the perils of frostbite. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

matthewmartell — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 15:00:50 -0700

Two of the Animal Kingdom's Finest Actors

matthewmartell — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 16:00:00 -0700

You might recognize these two from their incredible work in such fantastic films as "The Good, the Bad and the Neutered" and "Purr Fiction." Truly they're artists of the highest pedigree. - Matty Malaprop

You can has moar funny animal capshunz ober heer!

Guinea Pig

matthewmartell — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 06:00:00 -0800

I'm Yao-ing all the way to Nopesville over this. - Matty Malaprop Need some eye bleach? Daily Squee is here to help!

Untitled

matthewmartell — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 06:00:07 -0700

Jimnastics

matthewmartell — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 12:00:00 -0800

I'm a little disappointed. I was expecting McKayla Maroney in the corner of this pun, to be quite honest. - Matty Malaprop

Thane Was in Skyrim?

JoeO — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Avast! That Treasure Be Most Bootyus!

matthewmartell — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 16:00:00 -0800

It only gets weird when they start talking about plundering their latest find... - Matty Malaprop *Anyone know who created this comic? Let me know in the comments!*

Too Cheesy?

kristyb — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 06:00:00 -0700

Too cheesy?

And to Think, it Used to Be an Olympic Sport

matthewmartell — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:00:00 -0700

My mom always told me the tug life was a trap. She said there was no long-term appeal for living life on the ropes like that. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

MildlyAmused — Mon, 17 May 2010 10:00:04 -0700

A Four-Year-Old's First Pun

matthewmartell — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:00:00 -0800

You know, if it is just a speech impediment, he can always Iago to therapy for that sort of thing, so success all around! - Matty Malaprop

Accounting Puns

vicb01 — Fri, 25 Dec 2015 09:00:00 -0800

A Polite Pejorative, For a Change

matthewmartell — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:00:00 -0700

Preferably a puppy? Oh how I would just LOVE it if you had a puppy! - Matty Malaprop

A Heartfelt Pastapology

matthewmartell — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 14:00:00 -0700

If you're gonna say sorry to a man, it's always a safe bet to say it with food. - Matty Malaprop

Meghan Gave You A Choice

itsbutton — Sat, 28 Sep 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Excuse Me, Do You Have a Minute to Talk About Data Storage?

theresaburger — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 06:00:00 -0700

ICWUDT, Nick Grabbe

matthewmartell — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 06:00:00 -0700

Except who am I even kidding? I worked for a newspaper for long enough to know that staff writers ALMOST NEVER write headlines. Mostly because they suck at it, but also because editors are way too control-freakish to allow that sort of thing. #SpeakingFromExperience - Matty Malaprop

He's Done Clownin' Around

matthewmartell — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:00:00 -0700

I wonder if that's why he's been acting so fishy around me of late... - Matty Malaprop

It's not just kittehs that love captions! ALL THE ANIMALS DO! Check out Animal Capshunz for MOAR!

Iambic Groantameter

matthewmartell — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:00:00 -0800

Whenever this guy makes that dopey smile of his, I simply cannot help but *King Lear* at him. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 10:00:12 -0800

Where There's a Will, There's a Way

kacerosky — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 06:00:00 -0800

Untitled

matthewmartell — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 15:00:49 -0700

Weed Just Need You to Stay Still

matthewmartell — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:00:00 -0800

I know some people are deathly afraid of shots, but really they don't feel like much more than a quick prick. - Matty Malaprop

Someone Should Be PUNished

JoeO — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 06:00:00 -0700

This Military Full Room Sweep is Either Completely Unexpected, or Exactly What You Think It's Going to Be

Sun, 06 Mar 2016 02:00:00 -0800

Untitled

MildlyAmused — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:27:41 -0700

Untitled

matthewmartell — Sat, 25 Dec 2010 06:00:33 -0800

Tautology Jones and the Resemblance of the Lost Ark

ichc.brian — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 08:00:00 -0700

First he was a space traveler, then he was an archaeologist, and soon he'll be a cowboy... but he'll always be HARRISON F***ING FORD. - Matty Malaprop

Pun-ctuation

JoeO — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 06:00:00 -0700

animal puns

vicb01 — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 06:00:00 -0800

That's Not Appropriate in Public!

matthewmartell — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 06:00:00 -0700

Pssk, kids these days. I bet this girl never even knew the days when Pluto was a planet. - Matty Malaprop

Ohohohoho!

kristyb — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 04:00:00 -0700

LOL TOTALLY RETWEETING!!!1!

matthewmartell — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 06:00:00 -0800

So this is the classification system started by users in the Twittersphere that was adopted by its developers? ... interesting. - Matty Malaprop

Safety First

theresaburger — Sat, 06 Jul 2013 08:00:00 -0700

Everybody Gonna Cook Some Stir Fry

matthewmartell — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 06:00:00 -0800

... everyday I'm sataying? - Matty Malaprop

He's Cleaning in the Dark. Or Something.

matthewmartell — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 08:00:00 -0800

Baby he was born to swiffer... ??? - Matty Malaprop *Anyone know who created this? Let me know in the comments!*

Thy Will Be Done, Thy Corpse Hamstrung...

JoeO — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 12:00:00 -0700

I'm More Partial to Mimicking Magpies

matthewmartell — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 08:00:00 -0700

... but sadly in good ol' Montucky it's illegal to keep magpies as pets. And no, I'm not making that up. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled

FrankieDudeUltimate — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 06:00:37 -0700

Here's Hoping She's a Repeat Offender

Amemeda — Wed, 23 Mar 2016 02:00:00 -0700

He's Definitely The Sideshow's Mane Coarse

matthewmartell — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 06:00:00 -0700

Some people find Ed's act repulsive, but I'd argue that in fact it's a work of shear genius. - Matty Malaprop

I Feel Like This Conversation Has Maybe Been TRUNKated...

matthewmartell — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Look at these two, lumbering their way through a totally insignificant birch-fest. ... sorry, that was terrible AND non-sensical. I just don't know that many tree-related puns... :( - Matty Malaprop

Keeping Your Hands Busy All Day

kacerosky — Thu, 26 Sep 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Bob Marley and the Whalers

matthewmartell — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 10:00:00 -0700

The greatest hits collection features such jams as "Ishmael Shot the Sheriff," "Redemption Harpoon" and "No White Whale No Cry." - Matty Malaprop