Embracing Empathy

Thank God I Am Weak

2015-10-27T18:31:00.000-07:00

Saint Paul said, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Without weakness, can one be strong? This is a question I answer with a hopeful, yes, because I believe that strength can only be found in weakness. Am I thankful for being weak? Unfortunately, I must work at being grateful for the weaknesses that ravage my body, mind, and spirit. I know these undesirable flaws will bring me strength, but this long process of falling and failing to grow in determination and perseverance is a painful and tedious one. Fortunately, this process is not a lone path; I can walk this trail of change with the one power who heals and transforms, and his name is Jesus the Christ. Seek and find true strength in Jesus. Visit and gain knowledge from these websites about Christianity.

An Attitude of Gratitude

2011-02-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

I teach this to my students. I teach this to my sons. I teach this to myself, yet I fail to always have an attitude of gratitude. After celebrating two months of joyful holidays with my family, such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays, I'm reminded that I need to be that joyful and grateful every day. And not just thankful for all the good things in my life, but for the bad as well.

Today, I will be thankful for my failures, my sufferings, and my pains. I will be thankful for my weaknesses and shortcomings. I will be thankful for my broken, difficult, and trying relationships. I will be thankful for all my Lord has given me and all He has not. I will be thankful for my life; this mysterious gift of my life and my place in His Kingdom.

Because I struggle with cycles of depression, to always be thankful is a difficult attitude to maintain. There are days when I struggle to find peace or joy in my life, and the result is an attitude of words and actions that are desperate and lifeless. My thoughts become dominated by negative, destructive self-talk. As a Christian, I know I have to take control of my thoughts, and the teachings of Jesus and His Apostles makes this clear.

Saint Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians in Chapter four, verses six and seven to "have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

These words give me hope in the mercy and love of God the Father because of His Son, Jesus. These words give me strength because I know the Spirit is with me, transforming my heart and mind. In response to the love God has shown me, I practice His Word every morning in one small way. It has made a difference in my attitude for the day, regardless of how sad I may be feeling.

Several years ago, I made the decision to say "Thank you, God, for this day," the instant my eyes open in the morning. Even if I feel tired, hopeless, or angry, thanking God every morning for the gift of another day is healing my heart and making a difference in my thinking for the rest of the day. It is better than any medicine doctors could prescibe or scientist could invent. It brings me hope in the midst of despair and inspiration in the midst of discouragement.

Having an attitude of gratitude and thanking God every day for another day on earth is a healing discipline. Now it's automatic; I immediately thank God for my day without even thinking. It has become a heart response, and that heart-felt gratitude has changed my life. It can change your life, too. Let us celebrate every day as a day of thanksgiving.

Does Proof Lead to Faith?

2011-02-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

Jesus said to him, " 'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith." Then the boy's father cried out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!" Mark 9:23-24

What kind of proof says that You exist?
What is it that people need to say "I believe?"
Is there logic and reason that explains You?
Can any human mind even conceive of You?

So many who believe will still argue and explain
giving logical reasons for Your Truth.
Even You would say to those who doubted,
You see my miracles and still do not believe.
So then, for many, proof is not enough.

Because it takes faith to love or not love.
It takes faith to believe or not believe.
It takes faith to know You are real;
To trust, to love, and to hope for a life,
a life beyond this life-a hope, a peace,
that goes beyond understanding and reason and logic.

Maybe I'm too simple a mind to want proof.
Proof that will be dismissed or ignored;
Proof that is an argument waiting to be explored,
and yet, all that can be done,
all we can do,
all we can understand is limited.

So, limited by our human minds,
that leaves just one thing,
one thing to help us, to tell us,
and to know that God is real...

Faith!

Another Year of Motherhood

2010-11-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

As my twin sons near their twentieth birthday on November 15th, 2010, prayer and contemplation of my years as a mother has dominated my waking hours.

I worry I wasn't a good enough mom, and I search, in my prayers and my heart, for the memories of when I was a godly mother. These are the memories of raising my sons that I hold deep in my heart; the times when I was prudent and wise and when I taught my sons the virtues of life.

Yet, I will always remember the many times when I taught my sons vices, times of selfishness and complacency in my choices. These are the times I regret, but I also will accept them with humility. Because of God's Word, I know I must be thankful for my failures and short-comings.

Prayers of thanksgiving have given me the understanding of the mercy I recieve and the mercy I give. Having a heart of gratitude gives me freedom from the regrets that cause bitterness and despair. I will not allow that to happen, and so I thank God everyday for my successes and failures as a mother, and I know He is always with me.

I think of my sons and prayer for them often throughout the day. They will always be the focus of my petition prayers, because they have been the center of my life for twenty years. This is the truth of motherhood; my life is divided into two parts, before my children were born and after my children were born.

I thank God for another year of motherhood.

A Cause Worth Dying For

2010-01-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

“I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendents may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him. For that will mean life for you…” Deuteronomy 30:19-20

It is my desire to help put an end to legalized abortion, one heart at a time. I am writing to all my sisters; to all the American women, young and old, who have been lied to about choice. I am writing to all the American men who love a woman dearly; a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, and care about the future of our families, our nation, and our world.

It is my passion to share the truth, the truth of life. It is my hope to touch your heart with my prose and poetry and to stir in you a desire to choose life. It is my love for each one of my American sisters and brothers which convicts me to risk everything to share this truth. The truth I have found in Jesus Christ, His Word, and His Church.

Read what I write with an open heart and open mind, and make your own decision, my friends. And know that you are loved no matter what you choose, but also know there is only one true choice, one choice of love and hope, one choice that gives life.

I can never say exactly how my lifelong search for love and truth has continually lead me to the amazing man named Jesus. Through Christ, I come to know the mercy and love of the Father, and I’m given the Spirit to guide me in truth, faith, and hope. I love life, even in my times of suffering and sorrow, so I will speak of life. And so, I must write. To reach the countless citizens of our country who have been fooled into believing we want the “freedom” to kill our children.

I wrote the following poem for my twin sons, and for all unborn babies. David and Dennis are an incredible gift from God and because I chose to give my sons life, they have given me life. God tells us the truth when he says the life we give our children will mean life for ourselves. Because of the choice I made, I am blessed with my children who are my joy, my peace, my hope. I pray all mothers and fathers may know this truth.

Babies

I feel my babies inside of me
Beneath my heart and completely free
Wanting so much to simply be

I am a part of this world.

But who am I to make this choice
To be the loudest and only voice
In my freedom to choose, I rejoice

I am a part of this world.

Sadly, others tell me it’s okay
To kill my child and walk away
And live to breathe another day

I am a part of this world.

But I also hear what the truth must be
As faithful friends try to help me see
When I feel my babies inside of me
I can’t stop their hearts because I’m free…

My babies are a part of this world!

Love in Christ,
Mom
April, 2001

What Is There To Love?

2010-01-20T17:28:00.000-08:00

I am a woman who suffers from monthly cycles of depression, only recently diagnosed as PMDD: Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. For about ten days nearly every month, I struggle with finding a positive attitude about relationships, work, and church. In fact, I often become despondent and full of despair, and I fail to find the good in life.

On these days, I hold onto the hope that the tears will end, the deep soulful sorrow, the desperate hopelessness, and the intense anger are symptoms of my condition, and they have no power over me. At least, that is what I must tell myself on the days when I can't help but feel these painful emotions.

After years of trying to treat my condition medically, with prescription drugs that did not work, and only seemed to worsen my symptoms, I decided to abandon the man-made solution and depend on God for my emotional comfort. With prayer, His Word, and His Sacraments, I find peace in the midst of my sorrow.

This past week, I have been suffering days of sadness and weeping. It is so deep and sorrowful, my heart and soul are in agony. Those who suffer depression understand the pain I describe. During these days, it is hard to get into His Word, but thankfully the Lord pursues me.

Yesterday, in my 7th grade religion class, a student asked me about a psalm reference which led me to scan through the book of psalms. My Lord captured my attention with the words, Prayer of One in Sorrow, Psalm 13.

It is a very short chapter, and I read the whole thing in seconds, soaking in His words of hope and truth. The last verse of the chapter filled my heart with gratitude and my mind with love. They say: ...Let my heart rejoice in your salvation; let me sing of the Lord, "He has been good to me." Psalm 13:6

When I read these words from my Creator, my heart is filled with joy to know He will always be there for me. My God leads me to a place of contentment so I can once again find a reason and purpose for this difficult life. God is always there, and He tells me the truth, I have so much to love in life, even when my feelings and thoughts try to tell me something different.

He is always speaking to me, loving me, consoling me, and strengthening me in so many ways, in prayer, His Church, and His Word. He helps me focus on what is true and lovely. When I read His Word, I am filled with hope and a true sense of purpose, no matter what my heart may feel or my mind may think, I am loved by my God, and that is something worth living for.

Eyes of Love

2009-12-22T13:25:00.000-08:00

The following music video is a song by Brandon Heath which sings of our mission as Christ's disciples, to love like God.

May we, as disciples of Christ, love a little more this day, show mercy to those who hurt us, and have hope in the goodness of humanity. May we be known to everyone as followers of Jesus because of the love we have for one another.

God Bless, and Merry Christmas!

Trust Is Tough

2009-12-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Trust in Jesus Completely
by: Kristin Ball

What is it that will set me free?
To be willing to plant the seed
to let go of my worldly stuff
everything that can make life rough.
A house and cars bring me down
as I try to maintain solid ground.
Oh, but to have just a little more
of all the things I think I adore,
but the stuff only makes life harder
when I forget everything comes from the Father.
He sent His Son so I could see
that the Truth is everything that frightens me.
It's service and sacrifice
which will bring true joy
not having every little gadget
and must have toy.
Letting go of my wants
and giving it all away.
Instead of holding onto it
and watching it slowly decay.

What is it that will set me free?
Knowing the Love of the Awesome Three
The Son who came to earth to show the Way
To Our Father in Heaven, I will see some Day
The Spirit is Life, the breath of my Soul
This is the Truth that makes me whole!

Jesus can make you whole, too. Seek him this Christmas Season!

Merry Christmas, 2009

The Unknown Day and Hour

2009-12-03T13:57:00.000-08:00

With all the hype about 2012, we need to ask ourselves a very important question: Who is Jesus? Who is this historical man who taught amazing truths about God, was crucified, died, and was buried. Rose again and Ascended into heaven, promising to come again? Are his words worth believing and what must I do to follow Him?

Jesus is definitely the hot topic, the buzz around town, who still, after 2000 years, stirs in the human heart the passion of love or contemptuous hatred. He's the one most talked about even though the effort is to stifle his name.

For believers, like myself, it makes sense that Jesus is a Man who still changes the world, but for others, it's a problem. Why eliminate Merry Christmas from the public language, and focus only on the secular Santa legend for the Christmas holiday? Why do so many loud voices try to drown out the name of Jesus during this Christmas season? Because Jesus is a threat to the evil of this world, he is the Truth we all seek, and this deceptive world wants to bury the Truth.

It was attempted 2000 years ago, but the Truth could not be destroyed. He walked out of His tomb, he rose from the dead; he ate, taught, and walked with his disciples for 40 days before returning to heaven. He promised the Apostles he would come again, and that's what we are waiting for now, His return, which will mark the end of this world as we know it, and it seems we are nearing that day. Not to sound doomsday or anything, but the signs of the times are evident according to Jesus' prophecies. As Christians, we look forward to that day.

It will be a time of great pains, but for believers, great joy as well. We know that war, famine, earthquakes, and terrible calamities will fall upon our earth, but Jesus will come soon after to bring eternal peace and justice. For all those who trust in the Lord's Mercy, we will share in His Kingdom. Now is the time to accept Jesus, the Life, the Truth, and the Way, and know His Mercy. Because when He comes again, He will bring his justice, and we, the believers, his Saints, will fight the evil with Him and help Him create a new heaven and earth. Wow! Doesn't that sound awesome?

Find freedom from the fears that control your life, your thoughts. Find freedom from the death of sin and find hope for the gift of life. The true Messiah, Jesus Christ, told us the way to the Father, it is through Him. And with the power of the Holy Spirit, which came upon the Apostles and filled them with the gifts to boldly speak the Truth, the Church was born, and still thrives to this day. Through Scripture, prayer, and the Church, you can know the Truth of Jesus, and accept him as your Lord and Savior, and have his mercy and peace with a confident hope for the unknown future.

Discover his Mercy for yourself. Seek and you will find, Jesus.

Just Because

2009-11-29T11:57:00.001-08:00

So many families are broken. In our world today, to give up on someone you once said you loved, and break that relationship, is a common practice. Families are broken everyday because of anger, unforgiveness, selfishness, and pride. We fail to sacrifice for the ones we love because it just seems too hard.

To forgive is something we do because it heals relationships. But in this society of throw away marriages, unborn babies who are choices, and children divorcing parents, families have become broken. I pray for the families of America, I pray for the families of the world, because without families loving one another and forgiving one another, life becomes worthless.

"Pray, hope, and don't worry," Padre Pio once said. So, for my family, and for all families, I pray, hope, and don't worry.

Prayer For Families

God, Our Father, loving and merciful, bring together and keep all families in perfect unity of love and mutual support. Infuse in each member the spirit of understanding, forbearance, and affection for each other.
Keep quarrels, bitterness and pettiness far from them, and for their occasional failures instill forgiveness and peace.
May the mutual love and affection of parents be a source of loving obedience and discipline. May their chastity and fidelity be a inspiration to their children.
Instill in children such self-respect that they may respect others, obey their parents and those in authority and grow in mature independence and the tender joys of friendship.
Make the mutual affection and respect of families a sign of Christian life here and hereafter, through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Give Thanks

2009-11-28T18:57:00.000-08:00

I have discovered, slowly but surely, the way to peace, love, and hope, is to be thankful for everything. To be thankful for the curses as well as the blessings. To be thankful for the hard times, sad times, lonely times, and mad times. It is during the dark times when I seek God the most, so for all I am given, and all that I lose, I am thankful.

The following poem I wrote for my 8th grade graduating class of 2002, which was an especially challenging and spirited group of students. Because I wanted to love my students, regardless of their behavior, I prayed for them, and I thanked God, everyday, for their questions, complaining, and unmanageable laughter. They were a challenge and a blessing, and a class who helped me grow as a teacher and a christian disciple. Without my sufferings, I can not grow in my love for God and others, so in all my trials and tribulations, I give thanks.

Only God Can Fashion

It’s sitting in the quiet of the room
that finally makes me smile.
As the echo of all your voices loom
in my memory, for just awhile.

In the moment, it’s overwhelming at times
but the chaos, I thank God for.
Because if it weren’t for a class that chimes,
I would wonder why, and more…
I would miss the thoughts that freely fly
from the mouths of each unique mind.
To hear your laughter, no reason why,
shows how each one is trying to find…

Your reason for school and the time spent here,
sometimes it may seem like such a waste
to fit in, you seek, to be cast out, you fear,
revealing who you are is to lose your soul in haste.
For if all knew your heart and the weakness that dwells within,
then there may be a sea of rude rejection.
So it’s best to pretend and live in the sin
for a while, there’s freedom with worldly perception.

The perception of the world will only last for so long,
living the kind of life that society says to live.
They say to live for you, and this can’t be wrong,
When to only a select few, nature’s abundance does give.
It’s survival of the fittest, science does proclaim,
As we watch each person fighting to belong.
Many are searching for power and fame
In a world that glorifies the strong.

“The meek shall inherit the earth,” the Bible says.
True words from the heart of our Lord.
In your weakness you’re strong, and God will bless
your humble footsteps, in Christ, move toward.
Move toward the sacrifice of first thinking of others.
Always choose to do our best for God’s creation.
Pray to end the hate that kills our sisters and brothers,
Live the life of forgiveness that only God can fashion.

Love in Christ,

Kristin A
May 14, 2002

Faithful Friends

2009-11-21T19:20:00.000-08:00

As a teacher, I have many exciting opportunities to attend conferences with energizing speakers, stimulating classes, and countless resources. Recently, I had the pleasure of attending the Michigan Association of Non-Public Schools, or MANS Conference at the Cobo Center in Detroit, Michigan. After hearing a fantastic keynote speaker, the teachers had many choices of educational sessions we could attend for the next hour.

I intended on going to a session titled, A Teacher’s Bag of Tricks for Grades K-8: Differentiation and Assessment. After I made my way to the conference room where the class was to be held, I discovered every chair was full and the walls were lined with eager teachers. I didn’t want to stand, which guided me to the room next door. I stood in the doorway and looked inside. Seeking some sign of the topic before entering, I decided the small number of people in this huge conference room, the dim lights, and cool temperature, was a clear invitation to come inside.

Heavy with my own burdens, I went to an empty second row in front of the speaker and sat in the center chair. I breathed for a moment, and opened myself to whatever God had in store for me, and hopeful He’d give me exactly what I needed. God is so good and never fails to care for me! It made me smile when the instructor, Glenn Grage, introduced himself and told us the name of the session: Faithful Friends in Crisis Times.

I knew at that moment that Jesus is my faithful friend, and He will be there for me in all my times of crisis, and when I need it most, He’ll send me someone with a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. I also learned how important it is for me to be a faithful friend to anyone in crisis, especially my students. Some important points I learned are:

A crisis is different for each person and is best defined as a decisive movement or turning point in which a decision must be made
As people move through the phases of their crisis, they will either get worse from the crisis or grow from it
Faithful friends can help those in crisis grow from the experience by looking to Jesus as an example

Mr. Grage used the story of Jesus Raising Lazarus from the Dead as a step by step example of how I can be “Jesus with skin” to those in crisis.

When Jesus heard the news of Lazarus being sick, He taught the disciples that this is not for death, but for the Glory of God. When I hear of a crisis, I must pause and pray for them, asking God to reveal His Glory.
Jesus met Martha on the road. She shared her thoughts and feelings, and he didn’t take her feelings personally. He let her talk and then asked for Mary and wanted her brought to him, and he listened to her as well. Like Jesus, I must go to those in crisis and let them talk, share their worries and feelings and just be there for them.
Jesus asked Martha and Mary to trust Him. When I completely trust Jesus, I will encourage others in crisis to trust in Jesus, too. Jesus I trust in You!
Jesus Wept. To share in the sorrow of those in crisis is to share their burden. I must share their sorrow, and cry with them.
Jesus calmly bore the hostility of those in crisis. I must remember that a crisis brings anger and hostility, and I must bear it with love, patience, and humility.
Jesus took action, prayed to the Father, and called Lazarus from his tomb. To take action in a crisis situation means I must pray, believe, and see the Glory of God! Love in Christ, Kristin Ball

Parents Fail, But Love Endures Forever

2009-10-27T14:41:00.001-07:00

As a parent, I know only too well the sting of regret, and living the painful consequences of my selfish choices. There is no doubt I made mistakes as a parent, and it is being a parent that has allowed me to understand and forgive my own parent's mistakes. I wrote this poem for someone close to me who was struggling with parental relationships as an adult. Even though this poem is for her, it speaks to me as well. How often have I wanted to hold onto pain and hurt and blame my parents for my condition and choices today? Way too often. I realize, as I did many years ago, that my parents are to be honored, which means, I forgive them. Because, after all, nobody's perfect!

True Oneness

Gripped by the world at a very young age
unsure of what to expect, often filled with rage.
Unable to love those who were supposed to love you
but longing for that bond that must be shared, you knew;
that other people out there have a normal life.
Why can’t you have it, too, instead of this strife?
With envy, you saw families with a love simple and strong.
All you ever really wanted was a place like this to belong.

To feel out of control of this life that you didn’t choose
is an overwhelming truth that many would like to refuse.
To be born into a family filled with anger and pride
seems senseless as you live only wanting to hide.
For God did not plan for you to be destroyed
by your parents’ human mistakes that constantly annoyed.
Holding a grudge and unforgiving of their failure to protect
only destroys your heart and soul and your life is the one wrecked.

God’s love is perfect for you and all people that you see
including your parents, for them God has eternal mercy.
Choosing to love our God, you must perfectly love as He does.
Forgiving with unending mercy, kindness and patience because
Love is not jealous or pompous or inflated.
It is not rude or forces its own interests debated.
It does not brood over injury or quick to temper.
Love rejoices in the truth and rejects the wrongs that hinder.

With God, who is Love, we can bear all things.
Even our pasts hurts that in your soul still deeply stings.
Believe in Love because Love believes in all
and the Hope in the Love of Christ will pick us up when we fall.
Enduring everything that this life does bring
can only have value when in God’s Glory we sing.
For God’s love never fails, always it will remain.
And we’ll know it completely if we choose freedom instead of pain.

Let go and forgive, letting God lead the way.
Knowing love will fill us up and the hate will fade away.
Faith, Hope, and Love are found in the Spirit, Father, and Son
Becoming perfect only in Him, true oneness, Love will be done.

With Love, Kristin
11/12/01

The Truth About The Invention of Lying

2009-10-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

It's only my opinion, and I'm going to share it. The movie The Invention of Lying is a disgrace to truth. And even though it received great reviews as the funniest movie out there right now, if you decide you want to see this movie because it looks funny, you may be disappointed, as was I. Not surprisingly, The Invention of Lying promotes the "truth" that beautiful people are the only ones worthy of life. Everyone else are losers, and that term is used often throughout the 2 hour film, and one I simply do not accept as truth.

Still, it's only my opinion, but I think the truth is all people have worth, no one is a loser, and how dare the egotistical attitude of Hollywood be declared as truth. The cultural belief that only beautiful people are important and special is a lie parents and teachers have been trying to expose for years for the sake of their children. We know how devastating it is to be told your not good enough, and to have a current movie tout intimidation and bullying as the portrait of an honest society is contemptuous.

This movie promotes the lie of arrogance, and suggests that what arrogant people believe is true. The arrogant belief depicted in The Invention of Lying blatantly presents beautiful people as the only ones capable of achieving greatness and everyone else is doomed to a life of mediocrity and failure. They believe only those who are thin and beautiful are deserving of having all the good things in life.

This is the distorted truth the fictitious society who is unable to speak lies believes. The characters in the movie talk openly about personal topics which should be kept quiet, they run people down, and they portray suicide and homelessness as if its the only thing losers have to hope for in life. The made up "society of truth" depicted in this movie is a sad realization of the realty of lies this world promotes as truth. And in turn, the movie made the truth of God a lie.

The main character is the only person who can "lie" in this "honest" society, so he makes up a god and heaven to help his dying mother find peace in her final moments. Even though this "lie" about an afterlife brought joy and hope to the people, he felt compelled to tell the "truth" that he "lied" about the man in the sky. Some might say this is the irony that is part of the dark humor of the movie, but I say it speaks a truth we all need to ask ourselves. Are we really so confused about truth and lies that we don't even know the truth anymore?

In this society of lies, there is but one truth that stands the test of time, that endures the ridicule with patient humility, that extinguishes scrutiny, and reverses judgment. There is but one Way, one Life, and one Truth and His name is Jesus Christ.

If you are a Christian, I recommend not seeing this movie due to it's anti-God and anti-Christian message. If you do not follow Jesus, you still may find this movie offensive due to it's attack on human life and dignity, so I recommend choosing to do something else with your time and money. As I said before, this is only my opinion, so please feel free to take it or leave it.

The Path is Narrow

2009-10-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Jesus tells us the path to heaven is a difficult one, and He told us the truth. It is difficult to be righteous, faithful, and charitable. To be good is hard, to be bad is a path much easier to travel, but much more lonely. When we travel the wide and easy path, there may be many people around us, but we are wrapped up in our own issues, our own problems, so there is no encouragement, only despair. The wide path has many people, but little love. It has many imagined benefits, but little comfort.

The narrow path is the path home, and even though it often seems impossible to resist the temptations of this world, righteous living is a blessing to everyone. I desire the strength to conquer the evil in me, but I continue to give into this notion that my flesh is stronger than my spirit.

It is possible to follow the narrow path, but it cannot be done alone. I need the Church for encouragement and the Spirit for wisdom and self-control. And ultimately, I need Jesus, only His mercy can heal me. It is the divine mercy of my Lord that leads me to the narrow path, with a willingness to carry my cross, to lay down my life for the promise of eternal life. I cannot find the way home, alone, so I follow Jesus.

Look

Look at me, look at me
So trampled and beaten
Undeniably ugly
Look at me freakin’.

I can never be satisfied
Always, it seems too hard.
When my pain is amplified
For my life, I have little regard.

As the trials that test
I constantly fail
The same is my best
Living like Christ, I pale.

I can never reach
This perfect standard
Still I’ll preach
His death remembered

If only I could suffer
As He did for me
Living is always tougher
In this world without thee.

Even in my sin
I know it could be worse
Doing all I can
On earth, is all a curse?

Perfection is my goal
My life is the race
Everlasting life for my soul
My hope is to see God’s face.

With Christ Love,
Kristin
9/25/2001

It's Hard to Say I'm Sorry

2009-10-12T16:39:00.001-07:00

How Do I Say, "I'm Sorry?"

How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When the hurt runs so deep
When my words don't make
a difference
When all I can do is weep?

How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When the one I've hurt is gone
When there's no way of
telling you
When I offended you I was wrong?

How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
When I, too, hurt inside
when we both hold onto
senseless pride
when all we choose to do is hide?

How do I say, "I'm Sorry?"
when you really don't care
when I'm sorry really doesn't
change things
when life really doesn't seem fair?

I have accepted the fact

That all I can do

Is say I’m sorry to My Lord

Instead of you.

And know He has forgiven me

In spite of all I've done.

For He is true Mercy

And His Love will make us One.

Love in Christ,

Kristin A

August 27, 2009

How to Have Hope in a World of Despair

2009-10-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

I have been in the pit, and it is dark, cold, and lonely. It is a place of utter hopelessness, sorrow, and despair. I suffer depression and anxiety. It has directly impacted my relationships with others, and with God. With others, I either drive them away or they stay and love me patiently. With God, I have drawn closer to Him.

Because of my intense physical weakness to control my sorrow and anger, I must depend on the Lord to help me overcome my dark emotions, to overcome the depression and know that His joy will return. I know what it is like to be in the hell of despair, but I also know what it is like to be in the Kingdom of hope.

I have talked with my doctor for years about my severe PMS, the depression and anger that rises in me, uncontrollable, for a week or more each month. My doctor's answer was always medication, which I tried, but always stopped taking because I often suffered the side effects. I finally decided, after years of suffering misery and often hurting those I love with my biting remarks, to depend on God for not only my spiritual healing, but my physical and mental healing, too.

For the past 3 years, I have had months go by symptom free, and I contribute this healing to my faith. I tried all the anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications, which either didn't work for me or knocked me out. From what I see on commercials, the medications don't work for 2 out of 3 people using them so they need to add another medicine, which has suicide as one of its rare side effects. Instead of adding another medicine, why not try adding more God to your life first, and be surprised by the blessings He brings.

I would like to share the steps I follow to have hope in my world of depression.

Pray, pray, and pray some more. I encourage you to seek the One who brings healing, because we must find forgiveness in order to beat depression.
Reconcile, with others and with yourself. But most importantly, reconcile with God . I discovered through prayer to the Trinity, Mass, and the sacrament of Reconciliation that I am worthy because I am loved. I know the love and mercy of His Son, Jesus, so I know the sorrow will end, but I also know the sorrow is necessary for my personal and spiritual growth.
Embrace the tears. I cry for my children, or students, or people suffering in natural disasters. I have learned through prayer that my tears have meaning when I offer them up as a sacrifice. When I weep for others and offer my tears to the Lord, He blesses me with peace.
Allow yourself to be angry at the injustice of it all. It's okay to accept the anger we feel because the world is unfair. Through prayer and scripture I am reminded that God is angry about the sin of the world, too. So, I am moved to make the world a better place by choosing to love, which means my anger must turn into a thirst and a hunger for justice, which only the Lord can fulfill. Be angry about injustice, but remember to reconcile that anger before going to bed by putting your trust in God.
Accept your negative emotions and let the Lord make them good. In our weaknesses, the Lord is strong. By accepting and loving the part of me that is dark, and the parts of me I don't like, I am blessed. Jesus shows me the beauty of my tears when I give them to Him. The Father is pleased with my anger of the injustice of poverty and death. And the Spirit gives me courage to overcome my fears which builds in me the virtues of goodness.
Follow these five steps to help you find hope in a world of despair. It is what I depend on for healing, and slowly but surely, my depression is disappearing. I hope and pray my suggestions touch your heart, and help you make the decision to be a victor over the darkness by following the Light. His name is Jesus. May God Bless You!

Three Months Later

2009-10-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I drive by a sign on my way to school which says, "Time lost is never found." This statement speaks the truth and it saddens my heart to think of the time I have lost, and I will never find it again.

I have lost the days in which I could have been writing words of encouragement, hope, and love. To write and share my work is a dream I long to fulfill, but one that seems as distant as the stars.

I pray the Spirit can inspire me to move and defeat the depression and despair I suffer on a monthly basis and have persevered through for nearly twenty years.

To continue the journey leading to my dream, I write this small amount and renew my commitment to never lose time again.

New Phase in Life

2009-07-02T20:05:00.000-07:00

As my sons graduate high school and prepare for their college experience, I am filled with both joy and sorrow.

It is amazing to witness the men they have become, and the choices they make everyday. Only a couple Sunday's ago, they chose to go to Mass on their own. It made me feel secure to know my sons are choosing God without me telling them to choose God.

I always hope, everyday, they will choose to follow Christ's Way, and because I can't tell them what to believe, I pray. I know there will be many choices my sons will make that I will not like at all, as I make choices they do not like, but that doesn't mean we can't get over it, forgive, trust, and endure in love with one another. And because God is in our life, we love with forgiveness and trust.

My sons have challenged my patience, touched my heart, left me in awe, and saddened my soul all because they must break free from my motherly control. I must let them grow, and I have allowed them much freedom in making decisions about their life and how they are going to live it. Each year, each phase of their lives, I have given them more and more freedom to make their own decisions, and to face the rewards or consequences of those decisions.

That meant an F in an elective woods class for the midterm grade because my first born decided to socialize more than work. He wanted me to talk to his teacher, because he felt he didn't deserve the F, he made 3 bird calls, after all. I told him if he felt he didn't deserve the F then he should talk to his teacher himself. He didn't like this idea, but he was a sophomore, he was becoming a man, and he was responsible for his own decisions and behaviors and to defend the choices he made.

A couple days later, he came to me and told me he decided that he did deserve the F because he did choose to talk too much and didn't reach his goal in class. I asked him if he talked to his teacher about it and he said he didn't need to because the grade was fair. I was blown away by my son's wisdom concerning a poor choice he made.

He humbled himself and took what he deserved, which was a tough consequence to bear because it dropped his GPA, and severely effected his reputation as a hard worker with his shop teacher. He really had to prove himself the next half of the term, and he did. He had to work extra hard to bring his GPA back up past a 3.5, which took him over a year to accomplish. But, by his senior year, this year, he was accepted to the National Honor Society at his school.

I have slowly allowed my sons to be more of themselves and less of me, by allowing them to make their own decisions, and expecting them to accept the reward or consequence of the decisions they make. Even though I cannot interfere, I will never give up my influence.

I must say, it is the most difficult thing in the world to watch my children suffer from a mistake they made and not try to make it "better." But it's a wonderful feeling to watch my children celebrate the rewards for the good decisions they make.

I will always give my motherly influence and compassion. And I consciously encourage my boys to make their own decisions and, hopefully, I will, most of the time, respond appropriately to whatever decision they make in life. Through the grace of God, I am given everything I need to love my sons unconditionally, and I am succeeding to love them no matter what they do or say, where they go, or who they are, I love them as Jesus loves us all.

My sons are not perfect, but I love them as if they are perfect. I forgive their mistakes, and more importantly, forget the hurt the mistakes caused. I don't bring them up again because the lesson is learned, the consequence suffered, the punishment paid. In having this trust in God's way of raising my teen children, who definitely made my hair gray with worry and filled my heart with disappointment, I prayed, and still do. I pray for my sons constantly, otherwise, I would fail to love them unconditionally. My prayers for them helps me to know my love for them.

It's much like the Father's love for me, No matter what I do, He loves me. And so, I pray...

From Baby Shoes to Football Shoes

With joy and sorrow

We’ve watched in trust

The countless steps

You have traveled

The places you’ve seen

Especially the family and friends

With whom you’ve grown up

Every step a precious memory

Making you who you are today

And tomorrow…

With hope and love

We will always trust

The steps you take

The path you follow

Will be the Way

God has planned for you.

And may the plans

You have for yourself

The goals you’ve set

Bring you happiness

And fulfillment

May the path you travel

The way you take

Be everything you’re meant to be

And more

May it be everything

God has in store

For your future.

You are our beloved son with

Whom we are well pleased

May the Lord bless you today

And always.

All Our Love,

Mom and Dad

Day Two of Divine Mercy Novena

2009-04-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

I've been sad today. Extremely sorrowful from the Good Friday service, and with a bitter taste of anger in my mouth. I want to lash out, I want to get rid of my hurt, but I can't, because it is the truth of my sin.

I am so grateful for Jesus' mercy, but I feel guilt for the death He endured. My sin caused His death, and the sins of the world. Because of this, I am sad.

Death, despair, confusion, and chaos dominates our culture. There's medicine for every ailment under the sun, but there's no cure. There's no healing.

As I near the 9:00pm hour, I begin to feel joy, because Jesus is Risen! Right now, Masses around the world are celebrating the awesomely merciful hope in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. New disciples are being baptized and confirmed tonight at the Easter Vigil. Unable to attend this year, I think about the all those celebrating tonight, and I know we are One, as Jesus and the Father are One. Tomorrow morning, Easter Day, I will rise, and I will be filled with the joy of new life and the promise of life eternal as I celebrate with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I will pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet tonight before bed. I will remember the Priests and Religious as I pray this prayer of Mercy and ask the Lord to remember me in His Kingdom. I will trust in you Jesus more and more each day, because Your Mercy is all I need, and all I want.

Good Friday Begins His Mercy

2009-04-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

Let us remember the Mercy of our Lord this Day

Let us ask He remember us in His Kingdom

Let us hope for paradise

Let us pray

Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet from Good Friday to Divine Mercy Sunday.

His Mercy Endures Forever

You Shall Not Covet

2009-04-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

Our country is in financial peril because of our greed, because we covet gold(money), land, houses, and cars, which has been propagated by the ideal that this New World is a world of wealth, a world to be exploited for our own self fulfillment. Changing deadly attitudes about money and spending is the only way to influence our government to do the same. Being content with the resources we have and spending them wisely is the only hope for our future.

We are a country of the people, run by the people, and many of the people have decided to spend more than is earned, borrow money at high interest rates, and not save a dime for a rainy day. I know, I've lived this financial burden of covetousness my entire life, and I want to eliminate this deadly sin out of my life for the sake of my sons and their future.

In this land of selfishness, we have eliminated our future by killing them and calling it choice, we have spent our social security money so there is none left for our children or ourselves, and we have borrowed money from other countries who now own more than fifty percent of America. On wall street, the share holder who owns more than fifty percent of a company's stocks has control of that company. Who controls our country? Are we the people still in control?

I'm not willing to give up my responsibility and privilege to help run my government, so I'm going to make changes by starting with myself and my family. No more deficits! When I can balance my family budget, build a savings, buy products close to home, and provide leadership for my sons, I can make a difference in my government.

This is the Christian message I have been hearing at my church and on radio for years, but I stubbornly chose to be greedy, wanting and buying without any concern for my personal debt or savings. I have lived sinfully, and my government and culture encouraged it because they do the same. It's time to change, and I'm starting with myself. I have watched other fellow Americans change their lifestyle of excessive living, and I have witnessed the joy they found in the simplicity of living debt free.

Our culture, our government lives in debt and continues to spend more. Our federal government is trillions of dollars in debt and President Obama wants to spend more money, on such things as funding abortions in other countries. We need to stop spending, especially on deadly policies, and start paying off loans with the income we have, then we can start saving. This is what all American families need to do and can do, and if we all make the commitment to stop the madness of greed, we will find true freedom.

I believe it is something we must all do for the benefit of the people of the United States. We must sacrifice our own wants for the benefit of everyone in our country, not just the rich. Get involved with the TEA Party on April 15th. Read truthfully reported news, like articles found on OneNewsNow.com, to stay updated with our political and cultural world so you can be well informed to make positive changes in the government and our society.

Let's start changing the government by changing ourselves. No more greed, no more debt, no more selfish distribution of resources. Let's start thinking about each other, our future as a country of freedoms and justice, our future as a people under God.

Divine Mercy Chaplet

2009-03-31T18:01:00.000-07:00

Starting Good Friday, there is an amazing Divine Mercy Novena Catholics can pray in preparation for Mercy Sunday, which is the first Sunday after Easter. Day one is Good Friday, preferably at the 3:00pm hour since this is when our Lord died on the Cross. Visit the CatholicCity website to learn more about the Divine Mercy Chaplet, the Novena, Mercy Sunday, and Saint Faustina.

On ordinary Rosary Beads, Pray the following:

First three beads:

Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Apostle's Creed

On the Our Father Beads, pray:

Eternal Father I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, of Your dearly beloved Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

On the Hail Mary Beads, pray:

For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have Mercy on us and on the whole world.

At the conclusion of praying the five decades, recite these words three times:

Holy God,
Holy Mighty One,
Holy Immortal One,
have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Forgive Others to be Forgiven

2009-03-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Mercy is freedom. When I forgive others, I am free. I am free from the bitterness of self-righteousness, pride, and arrogance. I am free to love when I forgive, and when I forgive, I love.

Unfortunately, there are principalities, evils we can't see or touch, which tempt us to believe lies that there is no love, no hope, no life, no God, there is only death and despair. The truth of Jesus teaches us there is more, and I believe Him. I know, because of Jesus, I am saved. Yet more than that, I am a child of God. And He wants you to be His child, too.

I can only show mercy because of Jesus. He has removed the bitterness of hatred from the depths of my heart. I know the healing love of Christ 2000 years later because Jesus is Rise; He is truly alive! With His death and Resurrection, I am forgiven, and all I want to do is forgive others as I have been so compassionately forgiven. For truly, I am a sinner and in great need of mercy.

Thankfully, Jesus gives Himself to us, freely. He gives His Grace, the promise of life forever in heaven, and the life-giving food of His Body and Blood on earth. In spite of the lies and darkness in this world, the Light of Christ is shining in His Church. We have hope and peace in knowing our Lord is the Victor. He has destroyed death, yet sin still remains.

People are killing, lying, cheating, and stealing, and we wonder where the Light is with all this darkness. The Light does shine, in us, His Church, when we love, and forgive and persevere in the fight against evil which remains powerful in our world today. When Jesus comes again, it will be time for justice, and His Church must be ready.

To get ready, we must ask for mercy and give mercy. Right now, it's all about the merciful love of Jesus. Justice will come soon enough, so let us forgive today, and accept Jesus' Mercy forever.

Look for mercy is this merciless world, look for hope in this hopeless world, look for life in this lifeless world and when you find mercy, hope, and life, His name is Jesus.

Are We Helping, Really?

2009-02-17T18:11:00.000-08:00

It baffles my mind to think about the reality of what Planned Parenthood does for poor people in other countries; they kill their babies for free, but is it really free. With Obama's lift on the ban for federal funds to be used for free abortions in other countries, we continue to show our arrogant control in poverty stricken communities buy telling poor, desperate women we'll help them, and we'll help by killing their unborn baby. What a price they pay for wanting relief from the pains of poverty? They pay with their child's life.

I wonder, really, are we helping these poor women when we tell them the only answer for ending the cycle of poverty is to kill their unborn children. We assume these mothers don't want another burden of a child, but maybe they just want to have their child and raise him without war, poverty, or disease. Instead of offering food, water, and safety, we offer a free and destructive end, abortion.

Are we helping, really? Many try to say we are doing a favor for the poor families in our world today by killing their offspring, we are lifting a burden off their shoulders. Their children are going to die anyway of starvation or severe health issues and they will have no quality of life, so the humane thing to do is just terminate these poor babies. This is the philosophy of Planned Parenthood advocates in third world countries, no unwanted babies in our world, right?

But I ask you, do mother's truly want to kill their babies, or are they being convinced it is the right thing to do with all of the poverty in the world. Are they being told there is no other way and their baby will starve or die of disease, so it's better to just terminate the pregnancy and end the baby's life now, before she suffers. The deceptive reasoning perpetuated by world powers concerning the plight of nations is overpopulating humans, and because we are without enough resources to go around, we must control the population. That's the story the powers to be try to tell us anyway.

I differ on their perspective. There is ample evidence to prove there is enough clean water and food to go around if governments would learn how to get along, stop the wars, and distribute food and water equitably. Unfortunately, war will never end as long as we continue to wage the most unjust war, with the most devastating causalities, in mankind's entire history, the war against the unborn baby.

It is our responsibility to take care of our poor, not kill them. I believe abortion is a systematic plan to eliminate the poor of our world, by eliminating the poor, poverty is eliminated. So, are we helping the poor, or just helping ourselves by killing the poor and ridding the world of the burden of poverty? As Jesus teaches His followers, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, and shelter the homeless. When we help like Jesus teaches, we truly are helping. Any other way is simply not good enough.

Freedom to Lose

Unborn babies with beating hearts,

which science proves they have from the start,

are dying everyday in silent battlefields

and they’re defenseless and helpless without swords or shields.

They feel pain like we do

but we can’t see it.

No, we accept it because a few

have convinced us to believe it.

That these precious bodies mauled by plastic and steel

It’s a right talking choicers have forced us to feel.

We know the truth, abortion is death.

A violent murder masked by law.

A freedom that will destroy us all.

K.A. Ball

8/15/2000