So Simple, Yet So Complex...that's me!

US Calls for Ban on In-Car Phone Use...Even With Bluetooth

2011-12-13T16:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not so sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Back in the day, when cell phones weren't around, we survived. You had to look at your pager, find a pay phone, pull over and make your call. The roads were much safer. Now that technology has taken over, we act as if we will die without our phones. We text while driving and will break our necks to reach for our phone, even if it's not a great time to do so.

I personally have a hands-free set up in my car. U-Connect is a God-send! I can look at my satellite radio and see who's calling. I can also push a button on the radio and answer calls...all without touching my phone. It tells me the status of my battery and will mute the music while I am on the phone. I never have to reach into my pocketbook or take my eyes off of the road in order to answer a call.

While I do agree that life is a hefty price to pay for answering a call or text while driving, I also feel that using a hands-free device is a legitimate option if I choose to talk and drive. Maybe a better way to go about this may be to propose a law forcing everyone install a hands-free device or use a bluetooth while driving. There are even programs that will read your texts to you so that you don't have to read while driving. If you want to reply, you simply talk and the phone will write out the words that you speak. My point...there are other options to taking away a person's ability to use their cell while driving. This, in my opinion, is a little extreme.

This all seems like a way to make money for the government. If I break the law, I have to pay a fine. Where does the fine go? TO THE GOVERNMENT! And let's be honest...how many people do you think will abide by this law? Do you really think people are going to stop doing something that they've been doing for years...just to avoid a fine? What will happen is people will feel like they are above the saw or that they won't get caught. Mark my words...forcing people to give up their cells while driving will not work.

Let's see how the government feels about this. Better yet, let's see how the cell phone carriers and customers fight back against this proposed law.

US calls for ban on in-car phone use ... even with Bluetooth

Fake Doctor Injected "Fix a Flat" into Patient's Butt, police say

2011-11-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

Who does this??? This person injected Fix a Flat, cement, and mineral oil into the behinds of women just looking to get a little extra junk in their trunk!

I'm sitting here hoping and praying that this is an early April Fool's joke, but unfortunately with people idolizing the body of Nicki Minaj, I'm not really surprised. It kills me that the victims had such low self-esteem that they were willing to die just to have a behind worthy of being in a music video. Instead of looking for a credible plastic surgeon, they ran to the first person that claimed to be a doctor. SMH...we really have to do better, folks!

Fake Doctor Injected "Fix a Flat" into Patient's Butt, police say

It's Time for Mayweather to Man Up...

2011-11-15T14:54:00.000-05:00

I am definitely a fan of boxing. The fight between Pacquiao and Mayweather would be epic! (#teamMayweather) After watching Pacquiao fight the other night, I think Mayweather should jump on the chance to fight him. Pacquiao's camp is telling the world that Manny is not in the best condition and that he's not training properly. I'm sure it's just bait to lure Mayweather in, but I still think it would be a good fight. Mayweather is an experienced and highly skilled boxer and I believe he could take Pacquiao.

As for the other rumors that are circulating about Pacquiao (his wife upset about his cheating and she wants him to fire his manager), I can't speak on it. I can say that family issues can certainly take a toll on a person mentally. I hope everything works out for him, but I also hope that he gets a chance to step into the ring with Mayweather.

Manny Pacquiao deals with personal turmoil before Floyd Mayweather decision

My prediction - the fight will go 6 rounds...max!

Morning Motivation for 10.31.11

2011-10-31T10:21:00.000-04:00

Excellence can be obtained if you do the following things:

Care more than others think is wise

Risk more than others think is safe

Dream more than others think is practical

And expect more than others think is possible

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can say that I was not born, nor did my parents raise me, to accept mediocrity. So many of us short-change ourselves and settle for mediocrity. I can name a few occasions in which I am guilty of giving and receiving mediocrity. I had to realize that I am much better than that. I deserve excellence and I am capable of providing excellence in everything I do.

We are all human and we all have our days in which we feel like we cannot put forth our best effort, but those days should be far, and few, in-between. Give your best and achieve excellence. And when you do, don’t settle for mediocrity in return. Make excellence the only option.

I'm BAD...Are You?

2011-10-28T09:59:00.000-04:00

It’s funny how encouragement comes to you when you need it. Sometimes it’s so hard to see the blessings through all of the chaos, but at the end of the day, you need to remember that you are a BAD person! Yes, I said BAD…Blessed and Delivered.

This morning, my sister-in-law sent me an email that made me think. Ironically, when I got the email, I had Michael Jackson’s I’m Bad playing in my office. Michael was on to something. Everyone knows that he was talking about his enemy, but it’s funny that the email that I received helped me to understand the message in the song a little better.

While shopping at a local mall, I spotted a man with an acronym on his shirt that had BAD. Me, being the person that I am (curious), stopped the man and asked, "What does BAD stand for?" And trust me, you'll be amazed at what his response was.

He replied, “BAD stands for: "Blessed And Delivered." That thought stuck with me as I finished doing my shopping that day. So, I came up with a little advice for you today.

(1) When the enemy tries to attack you, just remember that you are BAD !

(2) When things don't seem to be going right on your job, just remember that you are BAD !

(3) When things are not looking good in your marriage/relationships, just remember that you are BAD !

(4) When folks scandalize your name, just remember that you are B.A.D!.

(5) When health challenges seem to overtake your body, just remember that you are BAD !

(6) When the spirit of depression tries to overtake your mind, just remember that you are BAD !

(7) When you have more bills in a month than money, just remember that you are BAD !

(8) When your mode of transportation is not working right, just remember that you are BAD !

(9) When the spirit of grief tries to paralyze you, just remember that you are BAD !

(10)And when you wake up in the morning to a brand new day, just shout to the heavens Hallelujah! I AM BAD !!!!!!!!!

I wouldn’t have ever looked at BAD in that way. The word carries such a negative connotation. But I can say that I needed this today. And now that it’s stuck in my head, I’ll be sure to remember how BAD I am.

So in the words of Run D.M.C. – ‘Not BAD meaning bad, but BAD meaning good!’

Morning Motivation for 10.27.11

2011-10-27T12:04:00.000-04:00

‘Don't mistake movement for achievement. It's easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?’
~Jim Rohn

I stay busy! People constantly ask me what I have going on that I am so busy all the time. Well, let’s see…

President and CEO of my house…full-time (This title includes financial planner, accounts receivable/payable executive, secretary/admin person, benefits generalist, maid, chef, nurse, teacher, disciplinarian, chauffer, etc.)
Work…full-time (Usually 60+ hours per week.)
Mommy-duty…full-time (This includes football practice, basketball practice, school and PTA events/meetings, homework, etc.)
School…full-time (The MBA program is no joke!)
Relationship…full-time (This requires just as much time and effort as Mommy-duty.)
Friend/Counselor/Problem Solver…full-time (I wouldn’t have it any other way.)
Gym rat…part-time (I’m not a full gym rat yet, but I’m getting there. This is what keeps me sane…besides Church.)

Get the hint? It’s hard to even make time to sleep with so much going on. It boils down to this…I am achieving something while being busy. I am being a productive part of society, teaching my son life lessons, working toward another degree that will help me to get ahead in the workplace, building a foundation with a man that may someday be my husband, and being there for family and friends who are there for me.

There are a lot of other things I could be doing, but I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. So when you say that you are so busy, take a look at what you’re actually doing. Are you making progress to achieve a goal or are you just being busy for the sake of being busy? Think about it…

Working and Being a Productive Part of Society is a Catch-22...

2011-10-26T14:03:00.000-04:00

Catch-22 (n.) (kăch'twĕn-tē-tū', kĕch'-)

A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules or conditions.
A situation or predicament characterized by absurdity or senselessness.
A contradictory or self-defeating course of action
A tricky or disadvantageous condition; a catch

In this economy, people are blessed to have a job. It’s hard out there. People are working harder than ever and desperately trying to make ends meet. So what happens when you need time to yourself? The obvious answer is to take time off from your job…especially since you work to accrue vacation and sick time. It’s there to be used, right?

Yes, working at any company in this economy is a Catch-22 . You are hired to do a job. You are overworked and need a vacation or you need a ‘mental health day’ just to get away, relax, and refresh your mind. Unfortunately, you can’t use vacation or sick time to rest because your department is small and you have too much work to do. Did I forget to mention that you may already feel guilty for being away from work and you fear that you will be looked down upon for taking time off?

What sense does any of that make? I’ve always felt as though your job can stress you to the point of no return if you let it. Now, there is finally some research to back up my theory.

According to the research, there are seven ways your job can make you sick:

Organizational constraints
Role conflict
Interpersonal conflict
Workload
Role ambiguity
Work hours
Lack of control

The research speaks for itself. It's pretty obvious to any of us who have been in these situations. You can read the explanations on PsyBlog.

7 Ways Work Can Make You Sick

Do You Forgive and Forget or Do You Just Forgive?

2011-09-29T12:41:00.001-04:00

‘The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget.’

I’ve always been told that if you forgive, but don’t forget it’s not real forgiveness. Now that I’m older and wiser I have to question that statement. I’ve been through a lot in my life and I can’t say that I’d like to forget. Forgive…yes, I’ll do that. But for me to forget…I don’t think that’s at all possible.

Say you have been through a very hurtful situation. We all have. Although you immediately feel hurt by the person who betrayed you, you will eventually get over it. When you decide to let all of the negative feelings go, you will be able to forgive. But for me, forgetting is not an option. I need to learn from the situation and be able to ensure I will not go through it again. I need to be able to recognize the red flags that I missed the first time. How can I do that if I forget?

We’re all human. We all have brains. Personally, I don’t think the brain is equipped with a delete button. That’s why years later you may be able to remember something that you had not thought about in years. There is a reason for it. I don’t know why, but I do know that we are able to remember things for a reason.

What’s most important to me is that I am able to forgive. Forgetting, to me, is unrealistic. Letting go of the hurt and living my life is what I’m concerned with doing. And let me make this clear - I don’t forgive in order to make the other person or people feel good. I forgive so that I can feel good. I don’t want to harbor negative emotions or live my life holding on to the past. I want to live my life each day knowing that I did the right thing and knowing that I can move forward with peace of mind.

Morning Motivation for 9.27.11...

2011-09-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life.’

~Anonymous

This quote has been drilled into my head for years. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand the significance when I was younger. Now that I’m older, I can understand its meaning.

Each day we are provided with a clean slate. We have the opportunity to startTo fresh and move forward without living in the past.

Today, I am going to live in the moment. I will not allow little things to bother me. I am going to be happy.

What are you going to do today?

Morning Motivation for 9.26.11

2011-09-26T11:17:00.000-04:00

SEASONS OF LIFE

Life at any time can become difficult.

Life at any time can become easy.

Good or bad, they are seasons of life.

It all depends upon, how you take on life and adjust to these seasons.

This is self-explanatory and very timely. Sometimes we forget that the issue it is not the situation or obstacle placed in front of us. Most times, the issue is how we respond. Do you solve the issue and move on or do you choose to keep the issue in the forefront of your mind? Do you allow negativity to weigh heavily on your heart or do you let it go? Do you enjoy the good times or do you choose to be miserable?

We are in control of our own levels of stress and emotion. Life is going to be difficult at times and it will be a breeze at others. We just need to learn how to adjust accordingly in order to get through and make it to the next season.

Times Sure Have Changed...

2011-09-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

I just had a conversation with a friend the other day about how times have changed and how it didn’t seem that there were as many sexual predators and pedophiles when we were children. I’m sure it seems that way because we weren’t paying attention. However, the point is that we were able to go outside without parental supervision and without parents having to worry about anyone kidnapping us as young children.

Back then, people in your neighborhood were so close that your parents trusted them to keep an eye on you without having to ask. If you did something wrong as a kid, you better believe they were willing and able to discipline you. If you were a latch-key kid and needed something, you could always go to the neighbor without a second thought. Today, I’m afraid for my son to go anywhere without me.

Once I had a child, I became more aware of my surroundings. I began checking the sexual predator logs online to see how many were in my immediate vicinity. Much to my surprise, there were quite a few. I almost had a stroke when it came time to choose babysitters and daycare providers. I quickly learned a hard lesson - just because you can’t find anything horrible in a person’s criminal record does not mean that they are not a horrible person! After my first few experiences, it was clear that I needed a good, Christian environment for my child. (Thank you, Pastor Allen Harris Ph. D., for running such a wonderful program!)

I know some of you are thinking not all Christians are good Christians and you are absolutely correct! I just happened to find one of the best. But let me stay on track...

We need to teach our children what to do if they are ever approached by a predator. It’s unfortunate, but it’s realistic. Here are a few tips from an article that I read today.

10 safety tips every child should know

Do not get into any car unless your parents personally tell you to do so. Also, stay away from anyone who follows you on foot or in a car. You do not need and should not go near a car to talk to the people inside.

Adults and other people who need help should not be asking a child for help; they should be asking other adults. Adults should not be asking you for directions or to look for a “lost puppy,” or telling you that your mother or father is in trouble and that they will take you to them.

Quickly get away from anyone who tries to take you somewhere. Yell or scream, “This person is not my father (or mother).”

You should use the “buddy system” and never go places alone. Always ask your parents’ permission to leave the yard/play area or to go over to someone’s home, and especially always ask permission before you go into someone’s home.

Never, never hitchhike! Do not try to get a ride with people unless your parents have told you it’s OK to do so.

People should not ask you to keep a special secret. If they do, tell your parents or teacher. Also, tell anyone who wants to take your picture, “No,” and quickly tell your parents or teacher.

No one should touch you on the parts of the body covered by your bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those areas. Your body is special and private.

You can be assertive and you have the right to say “No” to someone, including adults and even relatives or friends who try to take you somewhere against your will, touch you or make you feel uncomfortable in ANY WAY.

NOTE: Many parents use a special code word that only the child knows to convey a message should someone other than a parent ask a child to accompany them anywhere.

THE YELL: Practice a “special” yell. It is low, loud and long. It tells the person trying to hurt the child, “I know what to do! I’m not an easy victim!” It tells everyone within the sound of the child’s voice, “I need help!” It gets the child going, it breaks the “spell.” A child should not panic and freeze, thereby becoming immobile in an emergency. When you yell you take a deep breath, thereby getting oxygen and energy to your brain and muscles. Your own yell can give you courage and get your feet moving when you need to run away!

This is definitely an article that all parent of small children should read. My parents taught me a lot of these things, but there were many on this list that they did not teach me. There are more tips inside the article.

How to protect kids from predators, kidnappers

Morning Motivation for 9.23.11...

2011-09-23T08:06:00.000-04:00

‘Success is not a matter of being the best and winning the race. It is a matter of handling the worst and finishing the race. Be positive.’

Oh, how I needed this today! There is an area of my life that I am definitely struggling with. I feel like it is the worst part of my life and it is making me so miserable. But I know I need to handle it with grace. I can’t let it get to me because I can’t let it defeat me.

Instead of waking up each morning dreading to start the day, I’m committing to remaining positive. That’s the only way I’ll be successful.

Morning Motivation for 9.22.11...

2011-09-22T11:41:00.001-04:00

It's been a little while. I've been slacking, but for a good reason. I've been working on a project for work and my little man is now playing football. (I promise you that I had no idea how time-consuming football could be!) Anyway, trying to juggle home, work, school, football, a relationship and everything else life throws my way is extremely difficult.

There is one part of my life that I'm having much more difficulty in handling than others. I'm soooo unhappy with this one area and it's spilling over into other parts of my life. I'm praying that I can get it under control because I'm miserable.

The only thing left is to pray for peace. It was ironic that the quote for peace was sent to me this morning because I really needed it. That immediately brought the Serenity Prayer to mind. I have it right next to my bed so I am able to see it when I wake up. So my motivation for today is the Serenity Prayer.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.

Google to acquire wireless phone maker Motorola Mobility for $12.5 billion

2011-08-15T10:28:00.000-04:00

Interesting! It looks like Google is beginning to take over!

Google to acquire wireless phone maker Motorola Mobility for $12.5 billion

A Woman's Worth...

2011-07-19T14:54:00.000-04:00

'Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.'
~Proverbs 31:10

I was thinking today and realized something: for all we do and everything we give, many women feel severely under-appreciated in their relationship. Sad realization, but very true. I’m sure men could raise the same argument, but I can’t, and won’t, speak for them.

I recently had a conversation with a friend that is going through some things in her relationship. Her main issue – he is too comfortable and does not appreciate the things that she does for him. I asked if she has brought it to his attention and she said that she’s brought it up more than a few times. She feels as though he just does not seem to get it or he doesn’t care.

Honestly, this seems normal to me. Relationships are not easy and men are completely different from women. The main difference between men and women is that women are emotional beings by nature. Men, on the other hand, are physical creatures and are not equipped with the emotional gene. Therefore, when a man has forgotten all about the issue that has us so upset, he’s on to the next thing while we’re still thinking about it…and you had better believe, we’re not going to forget.

I get her point, though. It’s in our nature to do everything we can to cater to our man, but when it’s not reciprocated it becomes a major problem…at least for us. She said, “I’d like to see him do his own laundry, handle the household, cook, clean and everything else after he’s been used to me doing everything for him. I’m sure he wouldn’t even know what to do. It would probably be pretty inconvenient and annoying after he’s been used to doing other things instead of the necessary chores that I do for him.”

Once again, she has a point.

Gentlemen, I can only tell you, as a woman, that when we put time and energy into making sure all of your needs are handled, you may just want to put in the same energy to make sure we’re happy. You had better believe that just when you think she’s not going anywhere, there is always another man lurking around the corner that is willing to show her the attention and appreciation that you aren’t showing her. They are just waiting for you to mess up the good thing that you have because you have what they want…a good woman. The sad part is that it’s usually someone you know or her ex that has finally realized what he’s done wrong and wants another chance to make things right.

Like they say – Happy wife, happy life. Showing a little attention and making small gestures to put a smile on her face is all it really takes for most women. If money is tight, pack a picnic basket with sandwiches, pretzels, fruit and a bottle of her favorite wine and take her to the beach or a nice park for a picnic. How about sending flowers to her job or buying the flowers and personally delivering them to her while she’s at work? If money isn’t an issue, I suggest diamonds. You can never go wrong with diamonds.

I think Alicia Keys said it best:

‘Wanna please, wanna keep
Wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough, better show
That you know she is worth your time…

You will lose if you choose
To refuse to put her first
She will, and she can,
Find a man who knows her worth…’

My advice – Appreciate her now, or lose her later. Do not treat her like the option when she should be valued and made into a priority in your life. She’s done it for you, so do the same for her.

And one last thing – Don’t talk about it…be about it!

The Epiphany…

2011-07-18T11:03:00.000-04:00

Last night I had an epiphany. There are so many things that go on in my life, but I don’t ever really take the time to see them for what they really are. It’s the same thing with people. I’ve, at least, learned to see people for who they are by believing what they show me and not what they tell me. Unfortunately, words no longer mean anything to me. I make decisions based on actions alone.

One of the things that I’ve learned in life is that no one can do anything to you that you do not allow them to do. It’s actually common sense if you think about it. We are the cause of our own feelings and circumstances. Knowing that, I’ve realized three things:

Rejection doesn’t hurt…expectations do. – I have a huge problem with expectations. For some silly reason, I feel like everyone should do the right thing, just as I would. When they don’t, that’s when I end up hurt. I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone. People are going to do what they do and, unfortunately, we cannot control other people. Without expectations, it’s much less stressful and hurtful in the end.

Lies don’t break hearts…denial does. – People lie. It’s a fact of life. We’ve all done it at one time or another. What I’ve learned is that by not having expectations, when the lies come flying at you like daggers, they don’t seem to hurt as much. What hurts is that you believed the lie knowing that something just isn’t right. You made yourself believe that people would be honest instead of trusting your instincts and the facts surrounding the lie. That’s called living in a state of denial. You can’t blame anyone else for where you choose to live, right?

Forgetting doesn’t heal…forgiveness does. – We’ve all heard the saying, “Forgive, but never forget.” It’s true. Forgetting puts you back in the state of denial. You need to remember the situation so that you can learn from it. It’s forgiveness that will heal you from the anger or pain associated with whatever happened.

I feel that I’m in a much better place now that I’ve had this epiphany. It’s helped me to understand that I am the cause of my stress. I need to handle it a little better. For now, all I can do is work on it. I have to do something, though…stress is a killer and I’m not trying to die anytime soon.

Know Thy Enemies and Know Them Well

2011-07-06T09:17:00.000-04:00

I took a little break from writing because I had to make time for some other things. During my time off, I was extremely mindful of every situation, positive and negative, that was thrown in front of me. I was also careful to examine my behavior in response to each situation. I am not perfect, so I have made mistakes, but the point is that I am learning from my mistakes. In my time away, I learned a lot. The main lesson is this:

There are five enemies that we allow to inhibit us and take over, whether we want them to or not. These five enemies prohibit us from being at peace.

1. Avarice – This is one of the Deadly Sins from the Bible. It is better known as greed, but not just plain ‘ol greed. It is the insatiable desire for wealth and/or material gain. It is self-explanatory. We should be happy with what we have and make the best of it. Once you allow avarice to set up shop in your life, you are in for a life filled with chasing money and material things, void of actually living life. My advice is to live and enjoy life. Money is not everything. Yes, it certainly makes the world go round, but it cannot buy you happiness. Prime example: Michael Jackson.

2. Ambition – Who would think that the desire and determination to achieve success could be an enemy? I am an extremely ambitious woman and I promise you that my ambition has gotten me into trouble or has hindered me from doing things early in life that I am now regretting. It’s like you’re running a marathon with blinders on and you can’t see anything, but the finish line...even though you know the finish line is a million miles away. I tend to put business, family and friends first and forget about myself. At the end of the day, I am left feeling drained and alone. Trust me, it’s not a good feeling. I am learning to turn the ambition and drive down a few notches and live life to the fullest. I don’t want life to pass me by.

3. Envy – Another one of the Deadly Sins. Envy is defined as a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another person. I think we all know someone that is blessed enough to have something we want, but we should be careful. It is important to understand that envy is our perception of the situation. All we see is the end result. We do not have a clue as to what that person had to do in order to get what they have. We should really think about it…are we REALLY prepared to do what that person did to get what they have? It could be hard work or it could be stealing. Either way, just be happy with what you have.

4. Anger – This is such an ugly and powerful emotion. It takes a lot of self-control to combat anger. It’s an emotion that will take root in your heart and take over your entire being. It is hurtful to others and to you. I am not saying that we should never get angry. That is unrealistic. I am, however, saying that if we have a problem with anger, we should certainly address it. It is simply not healthy to harbor such a powerful, negative force within. Let it go…

5. Pride – We all have pride. It is simply the act of being proud. We take pride in our work, our homes and our accomplishments. Pride is positive, unless you do not know when to kill it. When a person is too proud, they turn into a monster. This monster is full of arrogance and impatience. At the point that the person has too much pride, they are just downright annoying. Who wants to be that person? Be humble. It will get you further in life.

As long as we know our enemies, we should be able to control if we allow them into our lives or not. Some people allow enemies to set up shop and steal their joy without a fight. I, on the other hand, choose to know what I am dealing with and do everything in my power to stop the enemy from making me its new residence.

Morning Motivation for 6.13.11

2011-06-13T09:58:00.000-04:00

‘If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.’

~Bruce Lee

In order to get ahead, you must push yourself. Limiting yourself is not healthy and will only keep you in a stagnant place where you will eventually grow tired. Think of fitness as an example…they say, “NO PAIN, NO GAIN” for a reason. Without dedication and pushing your body to the point of physical exhaustion, you will not achieve the results that you would like to achieve.

Go far beyond your normal limits. The extra mile is a road that is not as crowded because it is the road less traveled. Take that route instead of being lazy. Develop a plan and goals to keep yourself on track. Chose to create a better day and a better life by working harder to accomplish your goals. You will thank yourself for it later.

Morning Motivation for 6.11.11

2011-06-11T10:37:00.000-04:00

‘Learn to appreciate what you have now before life forces you to appreciate what you’ve lost.’

~Me

I see so many people that do not appreciate what they have. People complain about the most trivial things! Think about the person who complains about their job each and every day? In this economy they should be happy to be working when so many good, skilled and talented people are out of work.

Just the other day I spoke to a friend who was complaining about her significant other and how lazy he is in her mind. Where she sees lazy, the outside world sees a hard-working man that takes good care of her and their child. The outside world sees a man that works about ten hours per day, but still makes time to come home, cook dinner for her, spend quality time with her and treats her like a queen, despite her negative attitude. Most women would be extremely happy to have a man do half the things he does for her!

Take time to appreciate what you have. Tomorrow is not promised and tomorrow may be the day that you lose your job and are left scrambling to pay bills or lose your significant other to someone who loves and appreciates him or her more. Is that really what you want? Think about it...

Random Late Night Thought for 6.10.11

2011-06-11T01:04:00.001-04:00

I was just sitting here thinking that it's true what they say...what you do in the dark will most certainly come to light. It's such a shame that some people need to be reminded of this, but I guess they should really be a little more careful. This world is entirely too small and you never know who someone else knows. It's just sad that some feel the need to lead people on with lies just so they can keep someone in their life. (FYI - that's called greed and it's a sin. Check your Bible if you don't believe me.)

Never take advantage of someone else's kindness or take their kindness for weakness. It likely you will need that person before they need you.

Morning Motivation for 6.9.11

2011-06-09T10:46:00.000-04:00

‘The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.’

~Walt Disney

Procrastination can easily get the best of us. There are a few things that I should have started weeks ago, but I have been putting them off due to my own laziness. Although it is true that life can get busy at times, I cannot think of a valid excuse as to why I have not started doing some of the things that I say I am going to do.

The only way to get things started is to just do it. Starting today, begin working on your list items. Write a plan and set a completion date. The only way things will get done is if you make an effort to do them. It all starts with you.

Morning Motivation for 6.7.11

2011-06-07T10:38:00.000-04:00

‘Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.’

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The truth is a beautiful thing. Whether a person has good intentions or not, the truth is still the truth. That will never change. Unfortunately, lies can be just as beautiful. It’s all about what we choose to believe. Sometimes a lie is much easier to believe since it masks the pain of the truth, but needless to say, the pain associated with the lie can, and will, hurt more and for a longer period of time.

Don’t be deceived by a beautiful web of lies. It may look good to you, but trust me, it’s never good for you. Opt for the truth, which is sometimes beautiful, and sometimes the ugliest thing you could imagine. At the end of the day, it’s still the truth.

Morning Motivation for 6.3.11

2011-06-03T09:19:00.000-04:00

Are you problem-focused or possibility-focused?

So many times, we focus on the issue, rather than the possibility of what can be or the solution. This should not be the case. There are infinite possibilities out there for you to create something wonderful in life, but you will miss them if you are too busy focusing on all of the problems and obstacles that are in your way.

The way to overcome being problem-focused is to think positively and remember that God has your back! Always be optimistic and have faith that God will lead you in the right direction.

Is He a ‘Toxic Man’ or Are YOU the Issue?

2011-06-01T09:56:00.000-04:00

I'm currently reading this book called ‘Toxic Men: 10 Ways to Identify, Deal With, and Heal From the Men Who Make Your Life Miserable’ by Dr. Lillian Glass (don’t judge me...I really just like reading about this stuff). She is a world renowned expert on body language and has also written books on toxic people, toxic relationships, body language and how to tell if people are lying. She’s been on many shows as an expert and I have to say that in my opinion, this woman knows her stuff.

Dr. Glass says there are 3 things that define a toxic man. He:

Elicits negative emotions from you

Behaves badly towards you or doesn't treat you right

Makes you feel poorly about yourself, thereby affecting your behavior and your self-esteem

To be fair, she explains that a toxic man is not only a spouse, lover or boyfriend, but that’s the primary focus of the book. She says that he can be any male in your life, including a family member, doctor, boss, etc. (Apparently, having a toxic boss is pretty common.) And interestingly enough, a man that may be toxic to you may not be toxic to another woman. That’s understandable since everyone is different and has different tolerance levels.

For some reason, we tend to think that rich people, celebrities and beautiful people are immune to having relationship trouble. We think that no one would be silly enough to screw something up with someone as beautiful Halle Berry or as rich as Elizabeth Taylor (for those of you that don’t know, Taylor was married eight times). Dr. Glass explains that toxic men can be present in anyone’s life regardless of socioeconomic status, celebrity status, race, color, religion, weight, looks, etc.

Eleven types of toxic men are identified in the book. She describes their voice, speech patterns, facial expressions and body language. I think this is why I like the book so much. She gives you the information you need in order to identify these men and to understand who is not right for you. Ironically, there is only one type of good man, who she calls ‘The Real Deal’.

But even after reading all of this information, I have some questions. My questions are:

Is it really fair to label these men as 'toxic' when it seems to me that these characteristics could describe anyone, male or female, at any given time? We all have our off days and I know for me, on those days, I’m capable of doing all three of the listed items that define a toxic man. I usually let people know to approach me at their own risk.

If YOU are the one feeling so miserable, is it possible that the issue lies within you? I'm confused about this. My belief is that no one can do anything to you that you don’t allow them to do. So how can someone MAKE you feel poorly about yourself? That seems like a self-esteem problem to me. It also seems like she’s describing someone that is co-dependent. (If you think you may have an issue with co-dependency, be sure to check out Co-Dependents Anonymous for information on how to get help.)

After thinking about it, to me, it all comes down to your reaction to the negative situation. You can (a) dwell on it and make yourself, and others, miserable or (b) let it go and move on to a healthier relationship. With either option, I suggest working on your self-esteem and learning to love yourself.

I always say ‘Without a ME, there can’t be a WE’. Understand that everything originates from within. You have to love and respect yourself before you can expect anyone love and respect you. Once that happens, you’re on the road to happiness.

Morning Motivation for 6.1.11

2011-06-01T09:28:00.000-04:00

To create more positive results in your life, replace the words ‘if only’ with the words ‘next time’.

Regardless of what we may think, our thoughts and words contain a great deal of power and influence over our lives. Our thoughts, or beliefs, transform themselves into the words we speak. From there, our thoughts, beliefs and words affect our actions and reactions to situations.

Try taking a different approach. When negativity creeps into your thoughts, try using an optimistic approach. Believe that anything is possible. Speak it into existence. Act as though the outcome of the situation is going to be favorable for you. Once you do this, you will notice that things will feel better. Why? Because you will look at each situation from a more positive place. The Universe will reward you for it.