Social Motivators

So I’m Back, and with Thoughts

2012-07-23T20:21:00.001-04:00

In lieu of the whole Colorado shootings, a youtuber I’ve mentioned before, Philip DeFranco, put up a video which focused on the question of gun control and the point of having guns in the US.

Check out from 5:20

The question he poses is interesting because he asks about what’s okay in terms of arms ownership, and while I have my opinions, I’ll talk about them after I address some important facts.

The fact that the AR15 was made legal to own means that humans have access to the civilian equivalent of the M16 used by the military. Of course, this is relevant because the shootings in Colorado took place with an AR15 as one of the weapons. The question that needs to be asked is, would things have been this bad if the AR15 were still illegal. To that I would say that I’m not sure. Would the shooter still have had access to this weapon? I don’t know.

The second thing is a point that Phil mentioned from the perspective of pro-gun supporters, being that the second amendment means that it is possible to protect your family, and that everyone having guns will act as a deterrent. There are several issues embedded there; the first being that the second amendment was a civil war act that was meant to give protection to the families then. Congress and the senate just never got around to making that amendment null and void, and really, no one knows why. The second issue there is that of deterrent. The question of whether deterrents really work is about as big of a question as “am I pointing a gun at the Joker, or am I pointing it at commissioner Gordon?” if you happen to be pointing it at a single minded killer, it may not be enough to deter him. Essentially, the same thing happened throughout the entirety of the Cold War, just with bigger guns.

The third thing that I want to address, that Phil mentions, is the human element. The question of why it had to happen. I’m not a psychologist, so I can’t claim to know one way or another what the killer was thinking, but could more have been done? When I worked in security, I used to have a huge team, of about 8 to 10 people per theatre, present half an hour to an hour before a movie screening, doing a sweep of the theatre, and then using whatever means necessary to sweep for anything that may pose any kind of criminal risk. I’m not sure what measures were implemented here, though I would like to know if more could have been done.

So what do I think? In terms of gun control, I think that having weapons as deterrents is a bullshit excuse, and that there should be no weapons at all if you haven’t been trained to properly use them (i.e. police, military, SWAT), and if guns are used for hunting, they should be controlled by national park offices. Admittedly, it’s because guns are used “in defense” that they can be abused, and accessible at any time. If we could limit accessibility to special uses (such as hunting or shooting ranges), then we could control them better. No, it won’t stop people from misusing them, but then, no system is perfect.

The Perfect App…

2011-08-09T01:18:00.001-04:00

or “Isn’t That a Familiar Tune?”

I realize that I’ve spent a lot of time in silence with myself lately, and I’ve had a little self debate about what to call this blog (I say little because I mean that in the literal sense!). I came to the conclusion that it probably is a little more self serving when it is more elusive.

As time passes, I think that the hardest part for anyone is the “growing up” phase. No matter how well we think we cope with it, ultimately, it is a super difficult thing to do because we tend to overthink and try to make life something separate from personal identity. This is not to say that we don’t grow up as ourselves; rather, I think that as humans growing up in today’s society such as it is, we tend to neglect the values which make us who we are, and act, in some ways, insincerely.

In a paper that I wrote for a seminar on the topic of personhood and the metaphysics of persons, I suggest that “what it is to be a person is just that some being has the
present or future potential to interact with the world in a morally meaningful way, and is able to make moral judgments about other interactions.” Granted, the paper itself may not be very good, the case still stands that one is a person if they can act with moral reason. This alone is an important idea, I think; we tend to say that people who kill just for shits and giggles are “monsters.” We say the same for serial killers too. Another interesting claim that people seem to make is that people who do good for amoral reasons are shallow (such as celebrities who give money to charities, and whom we judge as acting on the grounds of getting noticed). There’s a certain quality of human sincerity and moral meaningfulness that is implicit within “being human” as we might understand it, and without that we can’t really ever overcome the challenges of the “growing up” phase.

So why did I title this post “The Perfect App” and what does it have to do with anything? I got to thinking earlier that if I were an app programmer for mobile devices like the iPhone or Android, I would probably code something that allows you to talk to yourself, but not just on a surface level. After reading Paolo Coelho’s The Alchemist, I wondered what people would be like if they could talk to their hearts. Then I realized that people now have a kind of “techjoy” fixation. They can’t do anything without a cellphone in hand, or a laptop in front of them. People just don’t care to spend the time to look at their own lives and see what their hearts have to offer them. So how about an app that lets you do that?

--Just a thought for a not so rainy day.

What’s Wrong With Us?

2011-08-02T20:23:00.001-04:00

Earlier today, the US senate approved the motion to raise the debt ceiling, allowing the US government to borrow $2.4 trillion more. I sit here in disbelief as I try to puzzle all the pieces together. Yesterday, Philip De Franco mentioned on his show that this “roof-raising” will help the US out until next year. This will probably add to the unwanted over $14 trillion dollar debt that the US currently faces. The one question that I would like to see answered is whether or not this could have been avoided. I don’t quite have the answer to that, though many peoples’ opinions lead me to think that there is an alternative of some sort.

I’ve recently been reading the George R.R. Martin series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” and a friend of mine told me that it was hailed as the contemporary “Lord of the Rings” and it occurred to me that this might be the case. (Spoiler Alert for those who have not read the first book in the series!)

The series takes place in Martin’s own fantasy world, and the first novel, A Game of Thrones, features events taking place in the center of power, King’s Landing, under the rule of King Robert Baratheon. Robert was a frivolous ruler, and his kingdom was in an unbelievable amount of debt, but this was explained away by the council of the king as “we find the money and the king finds a way to spend it.” Roughly, this is the attitude that we see in America now. As stated by Vladimir Putin, the US generally spends more money than it can make, and this frivolity is creating serious crises which, as fabricated as they are, seem to be looming over the heads of economists and financial researchers and planners as, to put it lightly, really bad for business.

Of course, what ends up happening in Martin’s series is a lot of regicide and pseudo-regicide, and literally, a game of thrones. The thing that really stands out is, while the goings-on are completely different, a lot of what happens in the works are relatively close to each other. The power-balance in the world economies is shifting, people are taking the title of “most prosperous” or “king” for themselves, and the little people are being thrown into serious chaos. Even those that want nothing to do with all the politics are being pushed into the drama.

Something to think about: what’s left when even those that didn’t care all that much about money and power are being drawn into political wars over little things that shouldn’t matter?

PS. I recently discovered that I have a tumblr if you wish to check it out.

Passion Entails Passionate Action but…

2011-07-03T00:06:00.001-04:00

What about apathy?

Ever notice how people seem to be super passionate about something (a cause, a person, a job) and that passion seems to lead them to do super selfish things?

Consider the following anecdotes:

Case One

Jeffrey is being considered for a position for district manager for his company, and could desperately use the promotion. However, he is in the running for this position with David. Jeffrey knows a couple of secrets concerning David though, that if spread, could ruin David’s chances of getting the position. Jeffrey realizes that for both of them, this job is important, but he decides he needs it more, so he decides to spread the secrets and management catches wind. As a result, Jeffrey gets the promotion, and David’s life is ruined.

In this case, the egoistic action is taken as a result of self concern or consequentialism bearing the greater benefit as the benefit to the self.

Case Two

Jeffrey is being considered for a position as district manager for his company, but is also being considered for a handful of other positions internally and externally, with a few that have already guaranteed that they would hire him and pay him better wages. However, David is looking for the specific position as district manager. Despite knowing that David is incompetent, he decides not to share that as it does not negatively affect him to lose this position to David.

In this case, the altruistic action is taken, not because it is altogether consequentially beneficial, but just because it is merely not inconvenient to do so.

So what do we make of this phenomena? Are humans intrinsically selfish? Well, no. Not necessarily. There are exceptions to this case, but I think it has to do with the competitive nature of survival. We just won’t do things that impede our ability to survive. We do things for others for reasons that in some cases lead to helping our ability to survive, which is fine, but is there more? It is incredibly hard these days to find someone who will go out of their way to be generous. No, I don’t mean getting off part way to work to give food to a food bank. I mean going the opposite direction for 2 hours to help a friend paint their house before getting to work, risking being late.

This is probably better evidenced in animes/mangas. Dragon Ball Z, a popular anime, is the perfect example (spoiler alert: spoilers after the jump for those who haven’t seen the anime yet).

In the Cell Saga of Dragon Ball Z, one of the characters, Gohan, finally reaches Super Saiyan 2, a level strong enough to beat Cell, the main enemy of the saga. What set this ascendance into motion was Cell stepping on the head of someone Gohan got to know, an android who cherished life and everything about it. Gohan’s rage was triggered, as it has been many times before, by the need to protect those he cared about who were in danger. Basically, the character only plays hero when someone he cares about gets hurt.

This is much the same for every anime ever created. The so called “true power” or “ascended power” of the characters is only ever revealed when someone that said character cares about is attacked, and it is only then that the character’s power evolves. It makes you think that that kind of generosity or altruism is only ever borne when it befits the person giving to give. It only made sense for Gohan to become stronger when he needed to, and as a consequence, when it felt okay for him to. Of course, this is a bit of a technical feature of the plot, but writers wouldn’t have given him the power to reach Super Saiyan 2 earlier because they wanted to fill out the plot rather than just have Gohan turn SS2 right away and defeat Cell within frames of encountering him. It was a matter of creating the need and allowing the action to happen when it was convenient for the plot, and when such actions would be beneficial to the protagonist.

I guess the point of all this ranting is that people will be nice when they can be; otherwise, it’s dog eat dog.

The Difference Between a Fail and an Epic Fail

2011-06-21T01:57:00.001-04:00

The first step is always the most important one. Regardless of what it is you want to do, without the first step, you can’t really do anything else. Oddly enough, it’s also often the step that people most want to not take, or at least it’s the one that people don’t want to admit that they want to take. It’s in our nature to be proud, since the acquisition of ability creates in us a need to gloat about this ability, whatever it is. The reason that I think we don’t want to admit to wanting to take the first step is because the first step is surrendering in some way. The thing is, in order to do anything, the first thing you need to do is surrender to circumstances and admit that you may fail. Without understanding the risk of failing, you can’t really celebrate your successes at the end, much less even putting effort into the work you plan on doing.

This is especially true for artists; the prouder we are about our artistic talents, the less we seem to think we’ll fail, and that results in a dangerous amount of over confidence. But if, like me, one is willing to say “hey, I may fail at this” and still give it a shot, it might come out a pleasant surprise, but it also means less humiliation when you in fact don’t succeed. I’ve seen people who start out with some kind of plan, so sure that it will be where life will take them, and then they end up falling apart because something went wrong along the way. It’s always important to realize that no matter how much experience we have, we’re only human, and despite our ability to achieve some kind of perfection, it may not always happen the next time we try.

Catch ya on the flipside.

Paranoia and Orchids?

2011-06-16T11:31:00.002-04:00

I was reading one of those free magazines that you can get at Healthy Planet stores, and noticed a little bit of the ridiculousness that society has taken and literally blown up. In this magazine is an article about “Orchid” kids.

So tell me, do any of these apply to you? In fact, they all apply to me, and most apply to most people. I was also reading on some other websites that some of the symptoms of other diseases are also normal. My question is, why do we get so paranoid just because of a little thing. A perfect example of this is back during the SARS outbreak in Toronto, people started joking about it when people coughed. At each corner, a cough or sneeze, a stuffy nose or a face mask meant that someone had SARS, and sure it was only said jokingly, but there were people that took it seriously, and people that take any symptoms that overlap between something which could change a person’s life, and a normal life, and automatically take the greater of two evils approach. Sure, treating a disease early is nice, but just because I overthink something, it doesn’t mean I’m hypersensitive or OCD. Maybe I just feel the need to be thorough because I don’t want to screw up? Isn’t that a normal thing for people, or do we all need to be bumbling and carefree morons who can’t get up off the pavement long enough to find a job?

This paranoia seems to lead me to think that society doesn’t want to progress any further…

Collectibles and Other Junk

2011-06-01T01:15:00.001-04:00

Upon cleaning my room today (gasp! You cleaned it?!) I came across a little bit of a collector’s item; a first edition laser cel from Resident Evil 4 with the certificate of authenticity, in its original packaging. This raised an interesting question for me; what are collector’s items worth.

When it comes to collecting things, I’m curious about why people collect what they do? What kind of sentimental value an object can hold for a person seems to differ indefinitely and why it has that value is just as varied in terms of the different answers people will give. I find it somewhat neat though, when I talk to people about collections of things.

Today when I visited the Games Workshop at Scarborough Town Center, a group of teenagers came in and looked around, and I overheard them speaking with Dan, one of the staff there. They were talking about what they might be interested in getting, since their dad was a collector of miniature figures. After they left (because the stuff in the store didn’t suit their needs), I actually didn’t think too much about the scene, but I realized something about the people who usually frequent the store now that I think about it; all of the players of the various games in the franchise are collectors as well as participants in this hobby rather than being just people who have the hobby. In a way, we’re all people who share the hobby of collecting.

Many of the people who collect, collect just because they like having these things; I don’t have a specific reason for being a collector along those lines specifically, but I do collect stories. I’m not claiming to be too different from other people by saying this, but I don’t really have anything else that I am devoted to collecting. I mean I do have a bookshelf filled almost completely, but those are all because I’m interested in the stories. I remember the stories people tell me, like one of my friends who wants to go into modelling. Far be it for me to judge the stories of my friends and all the people I meet – in fact, I hope that the universe conspires to help her achieve her dreams, but I do enjoy listening to stories, reading them, telling them, and while strange, dreaming them.

The best thing about stories, the stories I collect, is that they exist in everything I touch. Sometimes I will forget a story, but I do remember most of them, and each one that I have I treasure; for example, I remember that I picked up the laser cel at the Anime club table at my university campus, I remember the girl signing up for the Chapters points program in line in front of me when I picked up one of my notebooks, I remember the game my friends bought me for my PSP as a birthday gift, I remember the day my brother got the PS3 as a birthday gift, I remember thinking that my mom got me a real cat, when she was talking about a statue, and I remember the experience of the handmade rosary around my neck right now. I remember stories and treasure them, and I don’t understand the sentimentality that goes behind it, but I realize now more than ever that I do understand what Dr. Orbinski means, and what many mean, when they say that “stories are all we have.” They really are. We may forget sometimes, but we’re human. As long as we treasure the stories around us, we will never lose our own story.

And whether your collection consists of paintings, insects, stamps, coins, or stories, as long as you do more than just collect, but actually transform the collection into something to share with the world, then I believe the story behind what you collect will never be lost.

I’m in Spaaaaaaaaaacceeeeee!

2011-05-19T15:09:00.001-04:00

WHEEEE!

Lately, my life has been a little ridiculous. I recently finished Portal 2 (if you couldn’t tell by my title), and I had a conversation with a friend about how, as players, we project our latent feelings onto the character, Chell, who we play as. Throughout both of the Portal games, we are drawn into the role of a “test subject” who, as my friend (in RL and on Youtube) puts into song about LoZ’s Link, is a mute protagonist (see video below).

However, Chell is a mute protagonist beyond Link and other characters who never actually speak, since other characters have expectations. For Chell, all we know is that she is a character who tests and takes crap from GlaDOS. The fact that she does so without so much as a “stop it GlaDOS or I am going to kill you again!” is kind of cool, because it leaves so much to the imagination. You don’t get to see her reaction or what she is thinking, so it lets you do what you want with the character.

What the friend I had dinner with was telling me is that I have been projecting my feelings onto Chell as I played the game. (This part gets a bit spoiler-ish so read at your own risk, otherwise skip the rest of the paragraph.) From the way that we see Chell as a lonely character living the life of the typical everyman, to the way we seem to miss Wheatly for the period where he disappears, and the feeling we first get when GlaDOS incinerates our companion cube, the game never tells us anything – all of these feelings are derived from us, as the players of the game.

In a major way, this odd fact helped me realize the kind of person that I tend to be sometimes, and regardless of what our specific experiences, they seem to tell me one of two things; Chell is a mute everyman, doing these tests without expressing that she gives a fuck, and that we are (either secretly or openly) the kind of person we project onto Chell as we play.

Anyway, I guess that’s the end of that long rant. Hopefully I’ll be posting more frequently. For now though, enjoy a GIF and a video.

Visit Arisukiki: www.youtube.com/arisukiki

Oops. I accidentally shot you. Until you died.

2011-05-16T19:22:00.001-04:00

So I’ve been a bit annoyed at everything lately. But the most depressing part of it all has to be the news that has been showing up all over the place.

One of the longer-term stories is that of the shooting of Jordan Manners. At the end of the day, it is a sad story. But it’s also ridiculous because the persons who killed Jordan have (according to CTV News) said that the shooting was an accident. I understand it might have been a lucky shot that went directly at a vital organ or something, but what kind of excuse is “it was an accident?” Considering one could have avoided the firing of the gun by having the safety turned on, or, even better, not having the gun at all, the excuse seems null and void.

On a more local scale, this is a story I was talking to my mother about. One of my brother’s classmate’s mothers committed suicide, and there are rumours about why, but I’m leaving it at depression. I think that as sad as that story is, the reasoning behind everything is kind of weird too. According to my brother, his classmate doesn’t know about what happened to his mother, and is left under the illusion that she was sick. (I’m not quite sure how to finish this point, since it just utterly befuddles me that people would have the audacity to react the way they have.)

The bigger story lately though is Osama bin Laden’s death. I’m not sure why this is as big a story as it is (maybe people are stupid?) but it’s been enough to boost Barack Obama’s popularity. Granted, I don’t have anything against the President, but is it really fair to say that he was the one that deserves all the credit? Of course not.

On a more positive note, I’m trying to get back to sanity.

Catch ya on the flipside.

Living with Purpose and Geocaching

2011-02-12T13:31:00.001-05:00

So I’ve recently come across this new phenomenon known as geocaching, which involves travelling to different sites around the world and recording in different logbooks that you’ve been there. These caches are usually hidden and I haven’t done much yet, but they seem pretty hard to find. I have to say though, that I had an interesting thought recently. A friend of mine mentioned to me the difference between the way adults walk and the way children walk. When an adult walks, he can either be lazy or purposeful. Children always seem to be purposeful though. Geocaching has been interesting in that when I started on my first search, I noticed that I was walking with a purpose that I haven’t had in a while, which is this epic adventure to find something, and to record your legacy. That’s literally what geocaching is; a record of the earth.

I’ve decided that I want to start doing this, and wherever I go, I want to find geocaches and leave my legacy behind, just because it is something that sounds absolutely epic on paper. Achievement whores will probably enjoy doing it too, because it is actually kind of like a real life RPG quest. This blog basically has transformed, for me, into a record of geocaching. I don’t know how it will work yet, but I will see.

Catch ya on the flipside.

It’s About Time.

2010-12-14T01:34:00.000-05:00

As a writer, I often get asked about what kind of writing I do. Usually, I just say “poetry” or “poetry and short fiction.” I’ve never actually given people a specific answer without asking them to first look at my writing. Then again, I tried to post poetry before telling you what I kind of poetry I was going to write. So I won’t post anything yet. I will let this serve as the introduction to who I am as a writer.

This is who I am. I know I probably look terrible, but I may as well get it out there. (I’ll get a better picture up eventually, I promise!!)

My story as a writer begins in first year university. That was 5 years ago. I began writing a fiction piece, in the hopes that it would result in a major springboard for my entry into the world of creative writing. I realize that I was absolutely wrong. It wasn’t for lack of talent though, but for lack of effort. Yeah, I did write, and I spent a lot of time doing so. But I wasn’t doing enough to get my stuff out there. That’s the big thing. So I kept trying. I entered the creative writing contest a few years in a row, and nothing really came out of it. I also took a creative writing course in poetry being taught by Michael Helm. That was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot, but I still wasn’t getting anywhere. It wasn’t until this past year when I really put writing at the top of my priority list. I don’t have a lot to say about it, but writing poetry and fiction are amazing experiences that have helped shape my mind.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to share my work. The other was to write about the world I experienced around me. There’s a common thread going through all the writing I do though. That is, I spend a lot of it thinking about the human experience, whether it’s mine or someone else’s or just generally. The things that I write are reflections on the way I see the world.

I don’t have much to say about what my writing is at the moment, but I would like to consider this a true starting point. I’ve introduced my work. Let the discussion begin.

Belugas

2010-12-08T00:50:00.001-05:00

I don’t really know if I’ve mentioned this in a blog before, but one of the things I want to do in the future is to swim with beluga whales. I first came across the idea on Reader’s Digest, where they talked about different travel opportunities and tourist things to do while out in Manitoba.

I don’t necessarily want to go in Manitoba, but I do want to. The experience described is as a “once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Snorkeling with belugas is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Sea North Tours provides all the gear you’ll need: snorkel and mask, two 7mm wetsuits for layering up in, booties, hood and mitts.
A small Zodiac takes you out into the estuary. When a large pod is spotted, you slip into the water, grab a towline, and hold on.
Any discomfort you feel when that frigid water hits your face dissipates as you’re immersed in a cacophony of whale song. Belugas are known as “sea canaries” for their chirpy vocalizations, which also include clicks, whistles and squeals.
At one point I counted six belugas around me (the guide told me later it was actually 11!), keeping pace or scooting off in a blur of white. Unlike many other whales, beluga whales move their necks laterally, thanks to their un-fused neck vertebrae. So yes: they really do turn their heads and look at you!
Mother belugas with calves tend to swim beneath snorkelers, remaining a cautious distance of 8 to 10 feet away, nudging their half-size, grey babies along. The moms actually turn and swim belly-up, gazing upwards at you as they pass.
Singletons keep pace alongside me, turning their faces to smile. For an hour–or as long as you can stand the cold–you can float along with the belugas, losing yourself in the wonder of their world.
Another must-experience is sea kayaking (also arranged through Sea North Tours). Follow whale pods and tap the side of your kayak or make your own whale calls over the water: they’ll come and investigate.

The very idea of getting into the water and seeing the whales face to face is amazing, and definitely something I want to do in the future.

What kind of things do you want to do in the future? Can you see yourself doing something like this? Let me know.

Winter Wonderland

2010-12-06T18:25:00.001-05:00

So the time of year is coming that many Canadians either love or hate. That’s right: super snowfall season!

I’m indifferent to the season mostly because it has its ups and downs for me; on one hand, it’s pretty amazing, and can produce absolutely beautiful scenes. Not to mention, it happens right around Christmas in the northern hemisphere. The downsides involve the cold, the wet and the just plain ugh.

Despite all that, my only real qualm about the Winter season is not the cold, or the fact that I’m getting sick…it’s more that people won’t stop complaining about it, which makes it worse.

Honestly, you have no control over it, so stop complaining about it.

Jeez. It’s been a while.

2010-12-05T21:49:00.001-05:00

So I haven’t posted anything in a month. This is due mostly to the fact that I haven’t had anything to write about. Partly though, I’ve been busy with a lot of work both in and out of school. I will admittedly say that the schoolwork that I have is nowhere near as heavy as most people, so fortunately, that hasn’t killed me. Otherwise, my time has been divided between multiple side projects, research work, a paid blogging job (*gasp* I’m betraying my own blog), and most importantly, spending time with friends.

One of the biggest things this semester, though, has been Grad school applications. It hasn’t really been stressful or onerous – there’s just been a lot of associated worry. I mean, it isn’t completely done and dealt with, because I have 5 more sets of stuff to take care of, but having one done is a lot off my chest.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been trying a lot of new things with poetry. One example of this is with the typesetting program and language I’ve been using, LaTeX, which can actually rotate text by changing the angle that it’s put into the document. To show you what I mean, here’s an example from one of my poems.

The creative side of me has started to re-emerge, and I think that it will definitely be a good sign; I recently told someone that creative writing was just one of those things that I couldn’t “take it or leave it” with. I’ve recently added a “Portfolio” page, where I will be posting more and complete poetry; you might even get to see this poem in full. Of course, as always, you can comment on the pieces that I put up, and let me know what you think about them.

Yours in thought,
K

Actually, There is Something I Want to Say

2010-11-03T21:44:00.001-04:00

I was in 10th Grade when I first heard one of my favourite quotations, from one of my old friends. Little did I realize, that what he said that day would have such an important purpose in my life right now.

He said to me, “Do what you love, because in life that’s what you’ll do. Do what you do, and love will come to you.”

With Grad School Applications coming in paper piles at me, I realized that I’m still not 100% sure what I want to do with myself. I think there’s a part of me that wants to stay in Philosophy, but a part of me wants to pursue Creative Writing as well. I’ve applied to and will be applying to schools in both disciplines, but one of my major concerns is the fact that I don’t know where my heart lies.

Which do I love more? Which do I want to be? Which do I want to pursue for the rest of my life?

Obviously the answer is something only I can provide, but apart from that I think that the finality of this is something I’m making worse than it is. The very fact that I can still change my program (with a lot of effort) eliminates the “rest of my life” mentality, but the question still remains; where do I go from here?

Where Do I Go From Here? – Marié Digby

This is a song I can relate to because I’ve come to realize that I will never be able to plan out my life as neatly as other people have been able to. I do know that I will keep going, because unless I do, I will never find my answer. It’s the principle of the thing.

I don’t have to worry about deciding until I get all the offers for schools I apply for. That will be a decision on its own. I’m just going to give it a shot, applying to my top five, though, and from there, I will hopefully dig through this pile of paperwork.

Social Motivator: Society’s Motivation

2010-10-25T20:57:00.001-04:00

I don’t want to sound judgmental here, but people need to chill. It’s 8:24 PM on the night of the Municipal Elections both here in Markham, and for our neighbours to the south, Toronto. Facebook basically looks like an anti-Ford hate center. Rob Ford was the candidate who won the office of Mayor for the city of Toronto, and people have shown themselves to dislike him a lot. The thing with politicians though, is that they are just people; more of us look worse than any of them than we’re willing to admit, and those of us that do act all “holier than thou” don’t bother acting on that fact. If you really think so poorly of a certain candidate, then why don’t you go run for office?

I don’t want to say that I care either way; I have my biases, but I’m going to be fair about the decision. Toronto’s voting public elected a Mayor, and his name is Rob Ford. He won by a landslide on the merits of his plans for the next few years, while he is in office. The things he’s done in the past may not have been good for his image, but despite the fact that he is a horrible person, there are people who are much worse than him, given much higher positions of government, and who have done a lot better on a much larger scale.

I hate to use this example, but Adolf Hitler, upon rising to power, did wonders for the world on an economic level. He may have had social issues, but Rob Ford certainly isn’t anywhere near him on that scale. There are a few things people need to realize about the election. First off, this is the way democracy works; the majority voted for one person, and that’s the person that represents the majority. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. Do I think it means you should leave the city? No, because that’s just irrational. Secondly, society will always look at the negatives of someone at the top. It’s what we did with George W. Bush. That man may have been raised by monkeys, but considering we didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt at all, it raises the question of whether we’re doing the same thing despite realizing the economic potential we have at this point.

I say, this is the way the people voted, and you can disagree, but anything beyond an intellectual discussion about why you think someone else should have won, is just a waste of breath.

Can I Still Be Thankful?

2010-10-21T03:14:00.001-04:00

I’ve been through a lot over the past year and a half. I’ve had so many ups and downs, and for each of those times I’ve been thankful. There have been people who have helped me become a better person, and there have been moments that have taught me about my capabilities and my limitations.

Yesterday, I realized that even though I’ve received a lot, I do still continue to receive a lot, and have a lot to be thankful for, but I’ve often thought that there must be some end to how thankful I can be. But then again, emotional physics kind of correlate with real world physics, and despite my limited knowledge, I do know of the principle of conservation of mass and energy. In emotion and expression, it works the same way. The projectivist writer Charles Olson once wrote of the projectivist poems that whatever energy you take in, must go in in equal amounts, and basically, must be evident in poetry. In that same way, whatever you receive must be returned in equal amount, and so long as you have something to feel thankful about, you should express that gratitude.

It’s a basic principle that guides the world; it’s one of the basic ideas in physics and chemistry; whatever goes in, must come out in equal amounts. It’s like balancing a chemical equation. You can’t have an equation that reads H₂+O₂= H₂O, you need to balance it to say 2H₂+O₂=2H₂O. It needs to balance out one way or another.

Anyways, I still have a lot to be thankful for, that I know I haven’t quite balanced out properly. I’ll start with “thank you for reading this.”

A night sky in August. The faint starlight was a rare sight.

PS. I can’t believe I actually used a chemical equation.

What Does Success Mean?

2010-10-18T18:54:00.001-04:00

I recently heard the phrase “C Students in Life” (courtesy of Philip De Franco – video at the end) and was led to consider what it means to succeed in life. Now, De Franco describes a “C Student in Life” as someone who basically “half-asses their way to mediocrity"” and says he can’t respect someone like that. He raises an interesting point; life isn’t really worth anything, regardless of the end result, if you half ass your way through life, and end up not really earning it. This is the kind of thing that leads me to ask why people who work so hard end up living merely mediocre lives.

On the other hand, supposing you were born into, or undeservingly were given a great life, with money, people, and a myriad of happinesses, and you decided you wanted to work to earn it as an afterthought, or a thank you, by giving to charity, and helping people left and right, or opening your fortunes to the world (such as starting a software company, or, in a more abstract way, using your gift of a beautiful voice to sing and entertain people) then I can respect that.

I think in this same way, success has a lot to do with whether you’re grateful for where you are, or not, and how much you relate this gratefulness to that which you enjoy doing.

Via Philip De Franco (YouTube)

It looks like Autumn is finally starting to set in.

If You Can Hear Me…

2010-10-15T00:24:00.001-04:00

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

He knew there was something out there. He heard it with his own ears. What it was was indistinguishable though, and despite his obviously strong will, he didn’t really want to go out there. He was out in the middle of nowhere after all.

Huff. Huff. Huff.

There it was again; he tried to go back to sleep. The sliver of moonlight in his eyes keeping him from drifting off; there was something out there, not that he’d wanted to know what it was.

“Who’s out there?!” His voice was raspy.

Huff. Huff. Huff.

The cold air and the dark outline of the trees was outlined by the stars, and against the wind blowing were the sounds of wolves and owls.

“Who’s out there?! What do you want?! Why are you here?” His voice was louder now.

He had given up on sleep at this point and just sat on his mattress, holding onto his cell phone, with its backlight on. But as he sat there, he heard noises which sounded only like pat, pat, pat.

Then he felt something.

Crash.

Having fallen over, he couldn’t tell who it was that was next to him.

“Who’s there?”

"I’m here for you.”

Has Anyone Else Noticed This?

2010-10-13T01:49:00.001-04:00

Has anyone else noticed the fact that people at this time of year try to keep summer around as long as they can?

One of the biggest things is that people will try and make their lawns look greener than it ever was in the summer time. Oddly enough, it looks more like summer than it did in summer, in some places.

I think the true beauty of the seasons lies in the amazing colours of twilight – that’s when you can tell that it’s really autumn.

I have to say, the colours are absolutely a big part of the season for me, because it means that I get to take pictures of the world showing off. Even more than that though, I think autumn has helped me realize how much I wish it were summer still. I’ve done quite a lot of things with my friends despite it getting cold out, but I still want to do more with them.

View Full Album

My album consists of pictures from school, a trip downtown, Art Side Out, and other random things that happened in the past two months. The season’s not over yet, and Canada’s weather is completely unpredictable, but one of the things that often gets me moving and thinking about how opportune we are to be living where we do, and to get the chance to see the things that we do, no matter how small they are, is always a great time. If you’re interested, you can check out my other album, full of pictures taken of the autumn sky.

Cheers!

P.S. I’ll be blogging a lot more now, hopefully, because I think this is quite a relaxing hobby for me. If I don’t keep up, any of you are free to email and bug me to post something.

Write the Novel You Know You Have Inside You

2010-10-12T00:51:00.001-04:00

So here I am, at around 12:30 am, and I’m searching the web for ideas for a list of things to do before I die. I came across this one. Interestingly, I’m going down this list, and checking off the things I’ve already done, like “get to know your neighbours” and “plant a tree.”

I keep going down until I get to this particular one: “Write the Novel You Know You Have Inside You.” How do I respond? By blogging. Of course, it has to be my first response because it’s what I’d prefer to do over going to sleep, realizing that I have to be up in about 6 hours.

Apart from that point, though. I thought I’d blog (after a long time) because thinking about where I want to be, and the kinds of things I want to do, made me realize that there is a lot that I know I’m capable of, but that I haven’t quite let myself do yet.

One of the biggest worries for me is what I’m going to do in the future, because despite the fact that I’m happy now, I’m not sure where I’ll be in a few short months. To some extent, I know what I want – I just haven’t pushed myself to get there, and the thought that I’m presented with now, that I already know that there is something inside me worth doing, means that now I have to live up to it.

So my question for myself, and that I often find myself asking, is “where do I begin?”

Where did many great writers begin? In the beginning. I guess for me, it’s somewhere I can start looking from.

The Way Society Rolls

2010-06-24T01:39:00.001-04:00

It’s been an interesting past little while, and even though I haven’t been blogging quite as much, I intend to catch up. It’s been hectic, and among the groups of things that have been going on, there are a few that have caught my eye. Before I go into what they are, I just want to say that the reason they’ve caught my attention is because they solicit a kind of response from people that makes me want to think “What?”

I’m obviously not knowledgeable enough to go into details about everything, but I think that the effect that my attention turns to them is simply because they make me wonder if people really have a reason to react in the way that they do.

The first of these major things is the BP Oil spill. Now, with the idiocy between BP trying to clean up the ocean by saving the oil rather than saving the ocean by stopping the oil, period, and Obama imposing a ban on deep ocean drilling, and the US Judicial system giving Obama the presidential cock-block, I don’t think we have to look very far to see that a lot of this nonsense could have been avoided by sacrificing that oil well and just blocking it up. I know, it’s not that easy, but it should have been the obvious option, and I think everyone is just getting fed up of the whole thing. It is pretty obvious that the motivation for a lot of what’s going on is based on a background agenda. With BP Oil, they want to save the oil for economic reasons, and Obama’s pushing his agenda as acting out of concern for the country. The Supreme Court’s decision to lift the ban was done for political reasons, to show that they could still assert power and to some extent take power from the President and give it to the people(which evidently consists of the business that pay for a large portion of their payrolls).

Moving on, another interesting moment I think is interesting is the G20/G8 Summit happening in Toronto. The problem with these things is that they’re going to be congesting traffic and closing up a large chunk of the downtown core, and this is going to lead to several inconveniences for many of the people in and around the area. One of the major things is that protesters lately have been gathering to raise issues, and while it’s not a negative thing, I wonder if it has had any kind of effect on the politicians. I wonder if these protesters really think they can get through to the politicians and if not, why they continue to try.

Finally, there was an earthquake in Southern Ontario today, and it was apparently a 5 on the Richter Scale. All I saw on my facebook feed was earthquake related posts for a good half hour. I felt a slight tremor at best, and my mom experienced worse; my cousin and brother didn’t feel a thing though. I was frightened, but only slightly, while other people were overreacting to the situation. But what makes people respond the way they do?

I find this to be the question I would like to have answered, even though it won’t always be so easy to do so.

Social Motivator: The Olympics and What They Mean to Canada

2010-03-01T22:21:00.001-05:00

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been cooped up in my room in front of my laptop (*sigh*), watching the Olympic Winter games. For some reason, they were a big thing for me this year, despite me not really being a sports fan. I guess it had something to do with the fact that they were held in Canada.

One of my interests as a scholar is to try and unravel what certain things mean. I don’t mean “mean” in the sense of semantics and definitions, I mean “mean” in the sense of value-meanings that people interpret within a context. Kind of like what peanut butter and jelly mean to bread; the difference between what it is for a four year old and a 16 year old is remarkable.

I was thinking about it before in terms of books and literature, such as Milton’s epic poems, and the works of literature we have now, and trying to figure out what it was about some works that enabled us to see their meaning in a context; one might ask what Milton’s Paradise Lost was about, and perhaps one might answer that it is about the historical moment Milton had just lived through. What does it mean though? Well, Paradise Lost means revolution and change.

But what about the Vancouver Olympics? I originally thought it was because it was just because it was home soil, but I realize that there is a lot more to it than that. The events surrounding the Olympics really displayed the quality of the Canadian spirit. From the death of the Georgian Luger and Joannie Rochette’s mother, to the amazing victories and moments to be celebrated throughout the past weeks, there is something in the air, all across the country, that affected me in an interesting way. So what does it mean? What does this vibrancy and energy stemming from the Olympics mean to Canada?

My own answer I think lies in the way Canada faced everything that happened this year. We embraced all those moments and faced them like Canadians, with Glowing Hearts. The pride that I saw come from all the Canadian victory ceremonies that I witnessed really reflected a sense of unity and solidarity that can only come from a nation brought together, not to win medals, but to show the world what we’ve got, and to welcome the entire world into our backyard.

Shane Koyczan, on the day of the opening ceremonies, recited one of his poems, “We are more,” and while he didn’t do justice to what Canada is (he couldn’t have) he did mention a few things that rang true of Canada’s aspirations: “we dream so big, there are some that would call our ambitions an industry.” It is a very real fact that the Olympics mean more than anything to Canada; it was a year of firsts – first Gold on home soil, record number of gold medals, and first time runs for some athletes in the Olympics. It was also a year of greats - great opening and closing ceremonies, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir’s flawless performances in ice dance, Joannie Rochette’s powerful and emotional performances during female figure skating, all around amazing hockey performances, record breaking scores for our girls hockey team, athletes that made our nation proud, and fans and supporters that made it all possible. But there was something more than all that. We had one more ambition; in the Vancouver Olympic Theme song, performed by Nikki Yanofsky and Annie Villeneuve, the lyrics at one point say “And in my heart there’ll be no doubt, the arms of the world will come reaching out and embrace me to be all I can be.” These very words are Canada’s aspirations; they have been since the dawn of the 20th Century, since we first found our ground on the world stage. This is what I think the Olympics means to Canada: it is a stage for Canada to perform, to show that it is something more than what the world tends to see it as. “We are all the ways you choose to live, a nation that can give you variety because we are choices, we are millions upon millions of voices shouting ‘Keep exploring!’”

Keep exploring.

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Links:
Nikki Yanofsky & Annie Villeneuve singing “I Believe”
For the Opening Ceremonies, visit this link and search for “Opening Ceremony” (without quotes).

Social Motivator: What Are We Doing With Our Lives?

2010-02-04T00:29:00.004-05:00

I had a realization that I am a university student at UTSC. It goes farther than that though. I’m also a Humanities student. One thing that I realized though is that it isn’t a particularly humanitarian discipline. Over a lunch meeting with the dean and vice deans here on campus, Rick Halpern (UTSC’s Dean) told me (along with a bunch of fellow students) something which stuck with me; there’s a difference between Humanities and humanities, a tangible difference.

One of the questions I find myself asking is “Where am I going in life?” I find myself asking that question yet again, because the path of Humanities students is very obscure or interdisciplinary. There is nothing that is essentially Humanities. But then again, Humanities is often regarded as the field of study concerning humanity – human ideas and life. Saying we’re Humanities students does not entail that we’re humanitarian or by any means humanities students. The difference is that studying about humanity is not the same as studying and engaging with humanity.

So here’s the question again: Where am I going in life? Lately, I’ve been too busy to notice the world that needs help. I don’t have a goal, nor do I have plans on being a humanitarian. But I’ve been thinking about it tonight. And I realize that even if my future will take me no where near the purpose of humanities, as a Humanities student, I can’t forget that there is something more.

I still have a lot to figure out…

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Social Motivator: The Sound of Silence

2010-01-03T13:00:00.001-05:00

In the words of Simon and Garfunkel, “what you see is the inability of people to love each other, …called the sound of silence.” We often think of silence in terms of metaphors – as the inability to love, as a kind of solitude, as a kind of release, or as a sweetness. Despite all these metaphors, people still deal with it as a natural thing, as a part of the human moment. Yet so many people still have no idea what to do with it.

In a Ted Talk given by John Francis in 2008, we hear about a silence which lasted 17 years, and the very first words he says after it. More importantly, we hear about the silence which allowed him to change the world. In his talk he shares the story of what motivated him, and what he learned through the silence. If we could just say nothing, and listen to the world and everything that goes on in it, what would we learn? In his talk, Francis describes learning how the world moves, and how people are moved – he talks about an experience where he’s teaching a class without using words, and the kind of discussion and learning it invites in a classroom; it was enough to even teach him, despite him being the instructor.

This silence is everywhere. Buddhist monks practice this silence and stillness in their meditation, and as such, they learn to see the world in ways which one would never hope to imagine. I like to sit in silence before I begin writing a poem, so that I can hear what the world has to tell me. The sound of silence isn’t a silence at all; in fact it is a vivid and loud resonance that creeps throughout the world. It isn’t an inability of people to love, but rather a call for people to listen and love. To conclude this blog, I want to share with you a piece by John Cage, called 4’33”. It is supposed to get us to listen to the art which is the world around us.